Many of you know me as a Chronic Illness patient but my background includes much more. I struggle with treatment-resistant Bipolar Disorder and come from a broken family. I’ve lived thru domestic violence, child and sexual abuse, and suicide.
When I first started blogging my post was centered around caregiving, child abuse, domestic violence, and growing up in a dysfunctional family.
I repost the update for my new followers who may not know my history and for those who may be in a similar situation and need to know they’re not alone.
I share the whole of my experiences including those as a caregiver with a deep desire to help others. I’ve been able to reconcile many unresolved emotions thru writing over the past 15 years. You can search my archives on the topics above and find many years of post.
I’m here for anyone who needs support and will answer questions as honestly as I can.
Thank you for following me, I truly appreciate you and don’t take your visits or comments for granted. I love your comments!!!!! You’ve helped me grow and I know we have more growth ahead of us.
“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.”
I’m in a good place, like everyone there is bumps in the road. I think of them as learning opportunities even if I never understand why. The past six years have been the most challenging, in 2013 I was diagnosed with Lyme Diseases which feels like death. The protocol is to kill the bacteria before killing the patient and you are left with new health challenges.
Lyme has no cure, you pray for no flare-ups or not the worst ones. The Lyme and co-infections went to my brain causing cognitive issues, like having terrible balance and early onset Dementia. Dementia is the hardest on a daily basis, it’s like a machine gun took parts of my memory.
I now add Fibromyalgia, Neuropathy, Arthritis, skin sensitivities, and problems with my eye site to list of ailments. Most are manageable at this time.
There are always challenges with Bipolar Disorder, medication management, and an excellent Psychiatrist keep mine in check. I can be honest with him and he pulls no punches with me.
Today my Depression is under control with several new medications. I am so thankful to see the light and not darkness, getting a chance to do what I love is a true blessing.
After years of therapy and the love of my grandparents, I was pulled from the abyss. I have a clear heart, no anger or self-loathing, forgiving….not forgetting, allows me to move forward. Over the years, people brought sunshine into my life. I can’t thank them enough, like Angels dropping in when a push or pat on the back was needed.
My mother and stepfather physically and emotionally abused me until 12 years old. My stepfather beat my mother almost daily starting with hitting her head side to side down the hallway, the hallway ended at my room. Everyone in the house lived in hell.
As a small girl, I dreamed my father would save me. The dream was over when he started sexually abusing me as a child. It was innocent at first or so it seemed. At 12 years old I moved to my father’s, the best choice compared to daily life with my mother and stepfather. It’s impossible to wrap your head around sexual abuse at any age.
In 1992 my father committed suicide. Estranged since my teens, we talked several times before his death. He called delusional and paranoid. Saying someone was tapping his phone. He told me about suicide, I told no one. My Granny was devastated, her only child was dead. We had a closed casket service. It’s hard to reconcile death when you can’t see them.
I battle with Treatment-Resistant Bipolar Disorder. Diagnosed at 19 years old, I struggled for years without medication or over medicated. Thru the years I’ve taken over 50 prescriptions or drug cocktails. Some medications worked for a while, then I had to try another mix. Bipolar Disorder is a Mental Illness without a cure. I manage my illness every day and each day is different. Through advances in medicine, future generations may not struggle as we do today. We can pay it forward by participating in questionnaires, clinical trials, and talking about our illness. Educating others is the road to Breaking The Stigma.
I am alive with the help of God, Husband, Grandparents, Therapist, and Psychiatrist. I’m blessed with a husband who won’t give up no matter how hard it gets.
My background and Mental Illness is NOT a complete picture of who I am. Photography, Art, and Music are my passions. I love vintage cars, riding motorcycles, and the great outdoors. As a teenager, I set the goal to see the world. My Bucket List continues to grow.
I’m an animal lover sickened by the abuse and killing of animals for testing dog food or facial cream. I’m concerned about extinction, global poverty, and climate change. Above all Education, children are our future.