I was 9 years old when four boys I knew invited me in for a soda. This was nothing new for any of my friends so I didn’t think anything about it. Once in we had a coke and began to shoot the breeze. What happened next was not expected.
All four boys grabbed me and tore my clothes off and held me down while one boy put his penis in my mouth. I wasn’t smart enough to bite it, I was too scared. I screamed and wiggled around while boys held me down and then, they were down.
I put my clothes on and went home. I never told anyone, my mother is the last person I would tell. She would say I instigated it.
For many years I didn’t think it was rape because I wasn’t penetrating but that is not what rape is. Being sexually assaulted is being forced or pressured to endure any sex act. I’ve never written about that day but have been feeling very raw lately and want to share to help someone else.
Sexual assault is an act in which one intentionally sexually touches another person without that person’s consent, or coerces or physically forces a person to engage in a sexual act against their will. Wikipedia
National Sexual Assault Hotline
Melinda
Looking for the Light 
Thank you for sharing! It takes so much strength and courage to share! But don’t think you were not smart for not biting. You were fighting to get away and out if that situation. That is survival mode. You fought! Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for your kind words. My hope is someone else who’s been there but still feels the sting may be able to let go of the truama. Have a great day.
I know someone this happened to and HER mother told her she’d probably instigated it. Almost 40 years later her mother asked her to forgive her, and she has but it affected her all these years.
I bet it has. The days of blame are still here but not like they used to be. But a child should never be accused.
It’s so sad that you could not share Melinda. That must of made it a hundred times worse for you.
I am so sorry that you had to endure all that on your own. Sending you love 💜
Thanks. I hope they never did that again or worse grow up and be worse.
It’s a scary thought isn’t it?
yes!
Your sharing helps me Melinda ❤️
I hopes.
I’m so sorry Melinda. Like you, I have a mother who isn’t at all supportive and will instead blame me and make me the bad guy. I still deal with her mental abuses. I am getting away from her.
You have to cut the toxic people out of your life.
I’m so sorry this happened to you Mel. I can’t imagine the fear and confusion you must have felt as a young child – and how isolated, since you didn’t feel you could tell anyone. Praying you find comfort as you’re feeling so raw right now. Sending gentle hugs sweet friend.
I’ve been sharing a lot lately and I’m not sure people want to hear it. I hope by sharing my past maybe someone can let go of thiers.
I think it’s brave of you to share painful things in the hopes of helping others. I also hope it helps YOU to let go of them once you’ve shared them. Sending love and hugs your way.
I’ve processed or repressed most of the trauma in my life. I have a great therapist and faith in God makes all the difference.
I am so sorry that you had to experience this, especially as a child. I hope that you find healing. Often time adults overlook sexual assault done by their children’s peers.
Thanks for your kind words. I hope those boy never did that again.