Good Times On The Highway to Hell *Part 2*

This is a post from 2018 that I had to reshare. It makes me laugh every time. I hope it does the same for you.

I have to start with my favorite story, you’ll get a better idea of who I am. At recess in third grade, I told the teacher I HAD to go to the bathroom. NO, go back and play. Back to teacher a few minutes later I HAVE TO GO! You’re just saying that go play. A couple of minutes later I begged the teacher to let me go, NO. I said okay and popped my pants right in front of her. I had to retire my purple elephant bell-bottom suit.

Gramps stopped to pick up bread leaving us in the car, I may have been seven. The car was a standard on the column, I was playing like Gramps driving and somehow got the car in neutral. We were rolling out onto a major street. I hopped out trying to get the car to stop, luckily a man stopped to help about the time Gramps rounded the corner. He was in shock, we didn’t get a switch.

My youngest brother was playing on the sidewalk in front of a girl’s house. They were laughing loud and screaming. The family-owned a Saint Bernard which was protective of the girl. The dog jumped the fence and grabbed my brother by the back slinging him side to side. My older brother grabbed a two-by-four, hitting the dog many times, it would not let go until it turned to bite his arm.

We got a puppy, and the kids were so in love. So much in love, all four kids woke up in the night to feed the dog a piece of bologna. Guess what the dog got?

My girlfriend’s yard had a slope where we would lay down and throw apples at cars until a man got out a threatened us.

My stepfather really loved boating, the problem was he knew nothing about boats. Our speed boat couldn’t pull up a skier, our houseboat was so huge he had to call a tow truck to get out of the lake.

There was a small drainage ditch down from our house we crawfished in. If we caught enough it was a skillet full of fried crawfish snacks. I hate to think of what was in the water.