How To Push Your Shoulders Back and Say Bring It On!

Everyone, rich or poor has setbacks in life. What makes the difference is what you do next. If you tend to have a pity party and like to stay there, this post isn’t for you. I’m writing to people who want to help change the situation. The post is about communication, personality types, and soul searching. 


We are born to survive, it’s the negative talk in our brain that holds us down.

This post may be especially helpful for people who are anxious or new in their careers. I have spent my life facing huge obstacles such as child abuse, alcoholism, drug addiction, and my father’s suicide. 

It can be easy to catastrophize your obstacles if you don’t see them for what they are, an individual obstacles. If you deal with Anxiety, this acknowledgment is paramount. The way to deal with multiple obstacles is to take the Top 3, most challenging obstacles and write them down.  

We are not capable of tackling every obstacle in our life, some obstacles aren’t a priority and some can’t be resolved. That is why this process is so important. 

I’m old school and believe you can’t accomplish your goals if you aren’t focused on them every day. This method I learned from a mentor and thru reading motivational books. 

Once you’ve taken out a piece of paper and written down your Top 3 priorities, stick them on your bathroom mirror or somewhere you will see them several times a day. 

Then you write down paper or a computer “Which ones can you do something about”. If you can’t do something about it, mark off and add a new priority. 

Now you take each obstacle and write down “What you can do about the obstacle”. If nothing comes to mind, this is a plan to get you past the obstacle. It may take several attempts to add the “Can Do” list. 

Now that you have steps that you do to mark the obstacle off the list. 

For the hardest and most satisfying part. You write out a plan for each obstacle and work the plan. 
When you look at your Top 3 in your mirror it will trigger you to think about your plan and ask yourself honestly, “Am I working on the plan?

If you’re not working on the plan or for that matter don’t have a plan, you have to ask yourself why. One thing to look at is your plan, is it realistic, have you made a huge list of what to do, maybe your expectations need a check. Only you can answer that.  

Photo by Helena Lopes on


One of the greatest lessons I learned early in my career in sales, is you have to understand and recognize which type of person you are talking to. If you understand personality types you will know how to have a productive conversation. Understanding how best to communicate applies to your personal life, and work life.

Four Personality Types


The first of four personality types is the sanguine type. This type is described as spontaneous, optimistic, and enthusiastic. Sanguine types love adventure and experiencing new things in life. They have high energy and curiosity. With the positive aspects also comes the fact they are impulsive and often make decisions on a whim.


Sanguine types can be described as having extroverted personality traits. The more people around them, the more fun they are having. Social interactions recharge their batteries and they welcome new friends at a moment’s notice. Sanguine personalities also have a reputation to love listening to themselves talk. If they don’t find a person new or exciting, they move on to someone else.


Sanguine people are expressive and energetic to be around. They are often playful and enigmatic and can start up a conversation with anybody. They are also very extreme with their emotions. Their highs are very high and their lows are very low. If you are sanguine, you should be conscious of controlling your emotions, as they can often be a cause of regret.


Sanguine types are natural-born entertainers. They love the spotlight and they love the attention. They often do things to differentiate themselves from the norm and flaunt their individuality.


The second of four personality types is the phlegmatic type, defined by having exceptional social skills. These kinds of people have a higher emotional intelligence than others and are able to express themselves more effectively. They are sympathetic towards others and often well-liked by many people. Phlegmatic folks are good at connecting facts and understanding the way humans think and behave.


Phlegmatic people are not easily angered. They like to live a life of serene peacefulness, free of surprises. They are quiet most of the time and are good listeners. In the same time these people are generally supportive of others and don’t resort to criticizing their peers. They are very kind, thus are the type to be taken advantage of often.


Phlegmatic individuals are good at following orders. They are hard workers and make up the backbone of society. You want to work with them because they are reliable and can get the job done.


Phlegmatic people can’t easily to say what’s on their mind, especially if it could have negative consequences. Rather than making a mistake, they will work around the possibility of a mistake or just avoid the mistake by doing or saying nothing at all.


The third of four personality types is the choleric type. The people belonging to this type are direct, focused, and tough. They are mentally stronger than most other humans and have a knack for critical thinking and problem solving. Choleric people are also the most courageous and have a high competitive drive.


Choleric people are not afraid to speak their mind. They seek and excel in new situations. They are out to prove themselves to everyone they come across. Choleric types are strong and have an innate desire to be dominant. When they have a goal in mind, it is very difficult to drive them off of their path toward achieving that goal. They know what they want and they go after it.


Choleric personalities aren’t afraid of anything or anyone. If they are afraid, they won’t let you know it. Choleric people consistently show they have the highest self-esteem out of any of the four personality types and ooze confidence out of every pore.

Born Leaders

People described as choleric are often the movers and shakers of society. They are very assertive and sometimes bossy with their demands. They are quick to overreact and often let their emotions guide them to intimidate others. They will always get what they want in any circumstance.


The fourth and final of the four personality types is the melancholic type. Melancholic types are calm, cool, and collected. They hold family in high regard and respect honesty and loyalty. These types of people are fiercely loyal to the ones they love. They have good values and understand how to show respect for others.


Melancholic types are known for being emotional. They laugh and cry and the drop of a hat and wear their emotions on their sleeves. Sometimes it is difficult for this type of personality to open up to others. The more they are hurt by others, the more they keep their guards up.


Melancholic people would prefer having a few close friends rather than many acquaintances. They put a lot of effort into their relationships; so much so that they often tend to forget about their own needs. These types of people are likely to search for the ideal partner and often dream about the moment the right partner will show up in their lives.


As well as being very idealistic, melancholic personality types are known for thinking too much. They are naturally gifted empaths who read body language better than most people. They hold others to very high standards and are easily disappointed when these standards are not met.


Melancholic types are more likely to be respectful of others regardless of the way they were raised. They have mature manners from childhood to adulthood and don’t take other human lives for granted.

Once you understand each personality type it will give you insight as to how to have an effective conversation.

This is another style of grouping personality traits and this site digs deeper into each personality. I find this one very helpful.

Once you are able to identify the personality traits, you can look at yourself and see where you fall in the four types. One thing to remember is your personality change as you age so you’ll have to reassess. 

What do you do to tackle your obstacles?




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