Life Before Chronic Illness

Sometimes I find myself reflecting on my younger days, when I had a thriving career with a start-up company and making 6 figures. I was living high on the hog, as they say, I took several vacations a year, wore designer clothes, and had a nice selection of expensive jewelry. 

Every once in a while I see that person in me but she’s really gone. My life changed significantly after being diagnosed with Lyme Disease, most weeks I didn’t even get out of bed, taking my IV Antibiotic Therapy bedside.

The contrast to who I am today is the total opposite of my working years. I no longer wear business clothes, or make-up, make sales calls, and no longer have the remains from that time. I don’t need them. I sold all of my jewelry including my Rolex and tried to peacefully move forward. 

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

I’ve had some valuable lessons, some came with age, and others from lessons learned. When I was younger and riding high, I thought the good times would never end. I also placed value on items, which is no way to live. After I stripped away all the money and the finer things it could buy, I realized that is not what I need to make me happy. I’ve learned the value of saving money.

Today happiness is simple, it is focused on my husband retiring while taking care of my medical needs. Lately, I’ve been spending the majority of the day in bed due to pain and fatigue. A great day is when I’m up, clear-headed, and enjoying my family. I bought myself a bicycle for Christmas and look forward to riding it around the park. It’s my motivator. 

Do I miss myself from the past? Sure I do at times but would not trade it for who I am today?

I’m centered, know who I am, am confident in my choices, and accept this is life with a chronic illness. 

How do you reconcile your past life before chronic illness?

Melinda

22 comments

  1. It’s funny how health puts everything in perspective, isn’t it?
    I don’t remember life before pain. It started at 17, a little over 25 years ago. So, this is the only way I know how to live. I am making the best of it 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Such poignant questions. In 2022, my health miraculously turned around after 8 years of debilitating chronic illness. I’m back to making six-figures, but have otherwise left my old life behind. I now know who I am, who I can turn to, and what really matters… and all that matters now is maintaining good health and loving relationships while moving forward at a slow and steady pace.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I don’t think about my life before my chronic Illnesses set in. Over the past 12 years or so, I have grown so much. My ailments have taught me a great deal, my outlook on life is better and I am certainly more grateful for what I have now. I used to take so much for granted, but not now. I am happier despite the pain and obstacles in my life. I am glad you have been able to move on as well.

    All the best,
    Brett

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t think about it, the thought came to me yesterday. I do miss being able to go out to eat or party but I don’t think about it much. I am happy with my life and focus on the wins, no matter how small they are. Thanks for your comment.

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh Melinda, do hope you will be able to enjoy many adventures on your new bike this coming spring!

      Our journeys have been so similar. The addition of the seizures beginning in May have set me back significantly, and it is difficult to look to far forward. I am missing all things. Struggling most days to keep it together. Thankful for my faith, husband and family. Embracing the small victories and daily joys. Thank you for sharing, and for the reminder! Sending hugs your way.💚🦋💚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sorry to hear you’ve had such a hard time, I had a Fibro flair for hell last month, which kept me down for three weeks. I do celebrate the small things because most days that’s all I can give. What brought on the seizures?

        Like

        1. Still unknown. I am having 3-4 or more daily. Keeping me bedridden and miserable. Could be Lyme related or unrelated. Testing and specialists since May, and continuing, with no root cause yet. Coping, with Lyme/Babesia flares coming and going as well, you know the drill. We deal, and are grateful for the good days.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Are you seeing an Infectious Disease, Doctor? That’s as close as you’ll get to a Lyme Literate Doctor. That is what my Lyme Doctor was, he just specialized in Lyme. I have unexplained things pop up and sometimes I wonder if it’s Lyme but I’ll never know. Take care.

            Liked by 1 person

          2. Thank you for sharing, Melinda. I was grateful my initial Lyme physician was an Infectious Disease Doctor. That was such a blessing. Lyme specialist I had been seeing for several years recently retired. Have been working with neurologists (not Lyme-literate, unfortunately) for 6 mos. Only masking, not identifying root cause. Incredibly frustrating. Not giving up. Searching for new Lyme doc to work with local GP. It’s all so much work and exhausting when so very ill. I’m getting too old for this – ha!!

            Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s