Sometimes I find myself reflecting on my younger days, when I had a thriving career with a start-up company and making 6 figures. I was living high on the hog, as they say, I took several vacations a year, wore designer clothes, and had a nice selection of expensive jewelry.
Every once in a while I see that person in me but she’s really gone. My life changed significantly after being diagnosed with Lyme Disease, most weeks I didn’t even get out of bed, taking my IV Antibiotic Therapy bedside.
The contrast to who I am today is the total opposite of my working years. I no longer wear business clothes, or make-up, make sales calls, and no longer have the remains from that time. I don’t need them. I sold all of my jewelry including my Rolex and tried to peacefully move forward.
I’ve had some valuable lessons, some came with age, and others from lessons learned. When I was younger and riding high, I thought the good times would never end. I also placed value on items, which is no way to live. After I stripped away all the money and the finer things it could buy, I realized that is not what I need to make me happy. I’ve learned the value of saving money.
Today happiness is simple, it is focused on my husband retiring while taking care of my medical needs. Lately, I’ve been spending the majority of the day in bed due to pain and fatigue. A great day is when I’m up, clear-headed, and enjoying my family. I bought myself a bicycle for Christmas and look forward to riding it around the park. It’s my motivator.
Do I miss myself from the past? Sure I do at times but would not trade it for who I am today?
I’m centered, know who I am, am confident in my choices, and accept this is life with a chronic illness.
How do you reconcile your past life before chronic illness?