Looking for the Light

Post Traumatic Stress

Published on September 6, 2017 by Looking for the LightLeave a comment

Patricia is a courageous woman, honest in her writings and allows you into her like. I think she is a wonderful. M

Unprocessed trauma causes severe and long lasting injury. Trauma commonly goes underground for children sexually abused because no one wants to acknowledge their own shame in committing the acts or for not protecting her from them. A child is critically wounded and no one comes. She’s bleeding and hanging on to life, but you don’t see the blood. She needs help and immediate intervention yet is left stranded and silenced. Yet life goes on.

An entire piece of her is locked away and behind the chains are all evidence of the child she was or the person she would have become. She does what she can to survive. Her brain deals with the sudden impact of life and death attacks internally. Over and over the mind spins with no relief. Nerve impulses create unhealthy pathways, deep grooves that become repetitive, permanent patterns.

Without intervention the child lives…

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Happy Birthday Daddy 1940-1992

Published on September 4, 2017May 26, 2020 by Looking for the Light38 Comments

The morning after you killed yourself we went to secure the house. I knew immediately you suffered slowly. Among the papers, trash, and clothes I found your lockbox. The divorce paperwork to my mother, every card I gave you as a child. I found the pad you were writing on. Your Bible on the coffee table, dried tears as you read Job.

The note had 11:30 a.m. written in the corner. I could see you called your best friend and the phone number to a suicide line. There were words and a drawing that made no sense. Granny paralyzed, crying, asking why. The house ransacked, not sure anything made sense to her.

Dirty dishes piled high, nothing in the refrigerator, how did you live like this, how long? You phoned me several times in the months before your death. Delusional and highly paranoid each time. Someone was tapping your phone, they were trying to get you and the rest I could not understand, you were already gone. As much as I hated you, I cried, begged you not to kill yourself, trying to reason Granny would never be the same. I paid your bills for months. You weren’t in touch with reality.

The outcome will not change if determined. I knew you would take your life and told no-one. I’ve wondered what went through your mind in the hours doodling to writing the note, then killing yourself. I received the call at 10:00 p.m. Gramps said your dad has done away with himself. I called right back to see if you were dead or going to the hospital.

The boxes of cassettes were next to your bed, taking months to listen to. You were mentally ill, not under the care, no medications. Your temper went 1-10 in seconds, obnoxious, loud, racist, screaming, out of control.

I think of you one day a year.

Melinda

The Respect Award From Friend Danica Piche

Published on August 31, 2017 by Looking for the Light8 Comments

The Respect Award comes to me from Danica Piche at Living The Beautiful Life. Hugs to you my dear friend. I’m honored. If you’re not already following her blog, you are missing a slice of the pie. http://www.danicapiche@wordpress.com

respect award round two

What is the Respect Award?

The Respect Award is given by Rob once a year to acknowledge and show respect to fellow bloggers who, in his words, make him a better blogger and make him feel human. They also:

are compassionate, witty, interesting, rebellious, imaginative, patient, open-minded, and creative.
are generous with their words and support; they walk their talk.
raise spirits and make people smile.

What are the rules for The Respect Award?

Nominees don’t have to do a thing. Nothing.

This is a no obligation award, which means you don’t have to nominate anyone.

I’m taking the award at face value of doing nothing.

A Big Texas thank y’all to everyone who follows, comments, likes, or peaks in my blog.

The Respect Award From Friend Robert Goldstein

Published on August 31, 2017September 12, 2017 by Looking for the Light6 Comments

The Respect Award comes to me from Robert at Art by Rob Goldstein. Thank you so much, Robert. My Blog is Award Free, I accept for the reason of no commitment. This is the second year to receive the award, I’m very grateful. If you’re not already following his blog, please pay him a visit —your world will never be the same.

respect award round two

What is the Respect Award?

The Respect Award is given by Rob once a year to acknowledge and show respect to fellow bloggers who, in his words, make him a better blogger and make him feel human. They also:

are compassionate, witty, interesting, rebellious, imaginative, patient, open-minded, and creative.
are generous with their words and support; they walk their talk.
raise spirits and make people smile.

What are the rules for The Respect Award?

Nominees don’t have to do a thing. Nothing.

I plan the do nothing route. Thanks again Robert.

A huge Texas thank y’all to everyone who follows, comments, likes, or drops in for a peak. Melinda

Triple Shot Thursday * Awesome Mix From Request Line*

Published on August 30, 2017September 4, 2017 by Looking for the Light1 Comment

This week is a great compilation from the request line. Each song compliments the other so well. I know you want the DJ to play your song, I spin for you. Come on, make my day.

Houston and outlying areas were devastated by Hurricane Harvey. The best way you can help is search the list of organizations assembled by Charity Navigator. It’s a list of respected organizations focused on specific relief needed in the areas effected. I give to the Red Cross, they are not government-funded yet often the first responders. On the Charity Navigator list is an animal rescue group on the ground. Every penny counts. Thanks. M

For Danica

For Gavin

For You

SENSUAL/SEXUAL TOUCH

Published on August 30, 2017 by Looking for the LightLeave a comment

Patricia is brutally honest about her past, she’s written a book but pain isn’t solved by writing. We have to work deep in our soul to understand and reconcile the trauma. Patricia has a beautiful blog and is one great photographer. May sure you stop by to say hello.
M

Patricia J Grace

There are many shattering losses due to childhood sexual abuse and the lingering ramifications are substantial. One in particular is difficult to talk about, sexual intimacy in a loving relationship. That was stolen from me and I mourn what was lost.

When a child loves and trusts her brother (substitute father, uncle, mother, etc.), the closeness, warmth, and time spent together is not sexual. A hug is benign, just a hug, filled with warmth and love. That’s it. And when she gets older, perhaps adolescence, she might feel a twinge of her sexuality at her first kiss with a boy she likes her own age.

Then she’s a teenager and it’s said the hormones take over, not me. I was scared and frozen when my boyfriend tried to touch me in any sexual way. But this is when one explores happily, both boy and girl enjoying the closeness and exploration.

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Where’s Waldo? Where’s Reblog Button?

Published on August 28, 2017September 4, 2017 by Looking for the Light13 Comments

Reblogging is a frustrating feeling and one I’ve heard for years. Last week I could not remember how to find post to reblog. Here’s the most simplistic way I know to reblog. Go back to basic’s. There’s information on WordPress on the process of reblogging if you want to read.

You can write from either Writer page, the key is where you are when publishing. The newer stark white Writer with all tools compact on the right side. I write in this section often but do not reblog from here. I do cleanup, previews all the processes we go thru.

Then make sure it’s saved and I switch over to old Writer. I hit the back button at top left next to name of blog. Then go down to Admin, click, scroll to post and you arrive at old Writer. The page is laid out vertical with the tools down below post and you scroll thru each process.

After preview and last-minute changes, I save draft, then click publish. once published at the Top Left of Page it reads, Preview Post. Click their, scroll down your post to find reblog button is there.

Charitable Organization: Men’s Movement

Published on August 28, 2017September 14, 2017 by Looking for the Light1 Comment

I’m honored to join the community at Men’s Movement. Being apart of the men’s community, sharing to help others always fills me with sunshine. There is another important aspect to joining the community, expanding my knowledge. I can’t speak for men and how they process mental illness or other trauma. I urge you to check out the site, http://www.mensmovement.com Exciting growth is happening, webcast are in development and a second site is coming together. M

Men’s Movement Mission Statement

Here at The Men’s Movement Community we are passionate about on-line (and off-line) transformative education, and we promote and sell books, apps and courses in psychology, therapy, and coaching. The products we sell is often within a narrow niche and deals with a highly specific problem and offer a very particular solution. We will present solutions in anger management, neurodiversity, and sexual abuse healing.
Our goal is to bring the most effective tools in personal development out to the general male population, not only as a producer and seller of programs but also as a campaigner for the raising of men’s collective self-awareness, self-compassion, and self-care. We are using the latest technology to deepen our humanity.
Our work centers around men’s personal development, helping you to Step Into Your Power. The Men’s Movement community is about empowering you to live who you are. Your empowering can take many forms depending on where you are in life, what struggles you are in, and where you think you’re going. No matter where that is, we want to be a part of that journey and provide the best support possible.
The Men’s Movement Community is raising all the good examples of people doing fantastic work around issues deeply affecting boys and men, such as sexual abuse, eating, addiction, violence, grief, and relationships, among others. We have only started this work and invite any therapist, coach or instructor working with boys or men to become a member and enrich the community members lives with your work.

It is our dream that this site in a few years will become mainstream, or rather, that the content and information shared here will be common knowledge, something everybody knows. We can pretend that it is the year 2030, and what we would like to see is:

That it is perfectly ok for any man, regardless of age to admit he seeks therapy for his depression without being heckled.
That it is ok for a man to go down in work time when his children are young.
That it is ok for a man to be openly homosexual in any of life’s arenas.
That all men have basic knowledge of their medical needs and the most common symptoms relevant to them.
That all men have the same rights as women when it comes to custody and family law.
That boys can be affectionate and show care towards each other without this behavior is labeled as gay.
That every man has the right to express his feelings without being ridiculed.
That all men have the basic knowledge of which resources there is in society when it comes to mental health, organizations, help lines, friends, sponsors.
That men, in general, feel that they do have someone to talk to about the things that matter most to them.

As we see when we read this list we have som little work to do. Welcome to join the movement, to join our force of societal progression. Help us give tools to all the beautiful men out so that they can find what is inside their hearts and so that they can start giving their gifts.

FAQ Men’s Movement Community

What is the Men’s Movement Community?

The Men’s Movement Community is an online personal development community for men. It’s a gathering place for men and the people who love and support them. We built the community around an online social network with support groups, a blog with guest authors and a course catalogue filled with courses in transformational learning and personal development. We are also creating a database of available resources for men.

What is the aim of The Men’s Movement Community?

We are a safe space for men to share our story and to get support, knowledge, and resources to get on with the journey we are on. We share around situations like; divorce, custody battles, legal struggle, struggle with mental health, a personal crisis, a career shift, midlife changes or an exploration of one’s story.

In service
David Pilbäck

Founder of the Men’s Movement community

Triple Shot Thursday Historic NFL Half-Time Shows

Published on August 24, 2017September 12, 2017 by Looking for the Light2 Comments

Hearing the NFL comments behind the scenes is priceless. You can hear the amazement and testament to the professionals they were. Fans of Prince and Michael Jackson already knew their ability to command an audience. I love Coldplay, for me no need for other acts. Coldplay’s performance was spectacular, other acts disrupted my concert. I hope you enjoy the off the beaten trail picks. Thank you for stopping by today. M

35 Year-Old Woman Sexual Assaults a 10 Year-Old Boy

Published on August 22, 2017September 12, 2017 by Looking for the Light2 Comments

News stories on Adults sexually assaulting children are on the local news weekly. I don’t know how we protect our children from predators traumatizing our children.

MILWAUKEE (WGN) -– A 35-year-old Wisconsin woman is accused of drugging a 10-year-old child’s slushy and sexually assaulting him.

Tara Gotovnik has been charged with first-degree sexual assault of a child and delivery of a controlled substance.

Photo: Milwaukee County Jail

On August 7, the child’s father told police Gotovnik had assaulted his son, according to a criminal complaint obtained by WITI.

The boy told investigators Gotovnik put sleeping pills in his slushie, causing him to have double vision and slurred speech, the complaint said. He said Gotovnik then took off her clothes and told him to perform a sex act on her, according to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.