Caregiver to Grieving in Four Days

Each day was a roller coaster by how he felt and how exhausted I was. I learned so much being a caregiver to my grandmother and grandfather. As the population ages many of you will take on the responsibility. One of the most difficult changes was going from granddaughter to caregiver. Even at 92 my grandfather had a strong mind and felt he didn’t need help. I prayer for strength everyday. My grandfather died in 2010 at the young age of 92 years old. I spent more time with him 2010 year than I spent at home. I cherish the time we had together, no matter how painful. They are my memories and my life changed forever with his death. His health declined so fast that for two days I did not realize that he was dying now, not in a couple of weeks. He was at home under hospice care and would not get in the hospital bed until two days before he passed. He fell out of bed that morning, he was so weak it was difficult for me to get him back in bed. I don’t think we would have been able to talk him into moving to the hospital bed if he had not fallen. For him the bed meant death and he was still fighting. My grandfather had End Stage Kidney Disease. An emergency trip to the hospital for his AFIB is how we learned he had about two months to live. We knew his kidneys were losing function but I was not ready for […]

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Caregiver 101 Tips I Missed

Reblogged from 2009 I care for my 92-year-old gramps and have been here five weeks. He had three surgeries in seven days. Without Caregiving 101 training, I learned the hard way. *Ask the doctor what happens if the  procedure does not work. *If a second procedure does not work, is there a third option. *What is the recovery time and type of […]

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Lost in Caregiver Twilight Zone

Written on 12/21/2009 I’m caring for my 92-year-old grandfather following three surgeries in seven days. I’m so tired it’s numbing, it’s impossible to think about doing it again tomorrow.  My grandfather is a man of habits driven by the time of day, maybe from his military background. One morning he was upset when the hospital had not brought his coffee and could not see he was the problem. We’re in a hospital not the Hilton. At home it was far worse. It does not matter that I have changed the sheets again this morning, changed his soiled underpants more than once and got him dressed for the day. If the coffee is not ready when he expects or I don’t have the newspaper yet, I hear about it. My grandparents raised me and I love my grandfather dearly but it’s hard to bite my tongue. I want to ask doesn’t he realize or care that I’ve been moving since 5:00 a.m. to take care of him. At 92 he lives at home alone, still drives (very limited), buys groceries and goes to the local Senior Center several times a week to play dominos. He amazes me with each year. He is the healthiest dying person I know and in his mind he is much younger and more capable. This makes it impossible for him to understand recovery will take several more weeks at least. I catch him doing things he […]

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I’m Mourning and She’s Still Alive

My grandmother passed away with Dementia from two strokes in 2005. I’m reposting for the caregivers dealing with a loved one with Alzheimer’s or Dementia. For those who have not been a caregiver, these post may help you down the road. For the caregivers who give every ounce of energy, just one piece of advice if I may. Take time to clear your head, 10 or 30 minutes whatever you can for yourself each week. I did not have any one to offer suggestions and had brain drain after both of their deaths. My body was physically broken down. Due to the nature of the illness, it’s hard to take an eye off them, 24/7. I was fortunate we had hospice care for both of my grandparents. My grandfather was healthy enough to help with my grandmother. I don’t know how to turn my brain off. I’m Morning and She’s Still Alive As the caregiver for my grandparents, my hands are full yet my mind runs at a high level by switching to what I call “caregiver mode”. I can manage tons of information about what drugs they take, schedule appointments, discuss test results or anything else needed to take care of two people who are dying and “switch back” when at home. Before the fall and broken hip, my grandmother knew me. Our conversations limited yet sharing memories with her made my day. She really enjoyed a photo book I put […]

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Dementia Induced Thought’s of Suicide

Being a caregiver to a dying loved one can leave you drained of emotion, exhausted and frustrated. All perfectly normal feelings. I felt quilt mixed in my bowl of emotions. I grew up knowing my grandparents wanted to die at home. I would grant the wish if possible. They inspired me, saved me from parental abuse and blessed me with unconditional love. Helping my gramps when making difficult life decisions, while working hard to remember she’s my grandmother. There were uncomfortable conversations, articulate to doctors how she is progressing and butt heads with family members. I ran a tight ship, no problems telling people it’s time to leave, not allowing people over everyday. God blessed me with the ability to turn my depression down and step up to next level. Love for my grandmother drove my decisions down to the last morphine stick. As our population ages the number of caregivers increase. It can seem overwhelming at times. If you don’t have a blog I would suggest checking out, it gave me an outlet. Caregivers choose to open their hearts to the emotional and physical challenges.  Dementia Induced Thoughts Of Suicide Today I used one of four “in case of emergency” pills to keep my Grandmother from hurting herself during a dementia related meltdown brought on by my Grandfather going to the grocery store. She’s had many of these episodes since her stroke almost two years ago. Today I saw […]

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For Kids With Anxiety, Parents Learn To Let Them Face Their Fears

April 15, 20195:00 AM ETHeard on  Morning Edition ANGUS CHEN The first time Jessica Calise can remember her 9-year-old son Joseph’s anxiety spiking was about a year ago, when he had to perform at a school concert. He said his stomach hurt and he might throw up. “We spent the whole performance in the bathroom,” she recalls. After that, Joseph struggled whenever he had to do something alone, like showering or sleeping in his bedroom. He would beg his parents to sit outside the bathroom door or let him sleep in their bed. “It’s heartbreaking to see your child so upset and feel like he’s going to throw up because he’s nervous about something that, in my mind, is no big deal,” Jessica says. Jessica decided to enroll in an experimental program, one that was very different from other therapy for childhood anxiety that she knew about. It wasn’t Joseph who would be seeing a therapist every week — it would be her. The program was part of a Yale University study that treated children’s anxiety by teaching their parents new ways of responding to it. “The parent’s own responses are a core and integral part of childhood anxiety,” says Eli Lebowitz, a psychologist at the Yale School of Medicine who developed the training. For instance, when Joseph would get scared about sleeping alone, Jessica and her husband, Chris Calise, did what he asked and comforted him. “In my mind, I was […]

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The messy, complicated truth about grief

IDEAS TED TALKS May 1, 2019 / Nora McInerny Mourning the loss of a loved one isn’t efficient, compact or logical, and it changes us forever, says writer Nora McInerny. She explains why. I quit my job shortly after my husband Aaron died in 2014 following three years with brain cancer. It made sense in the moment, but I needed money to keep my son and myself alive so I went to a networking event to hopefully make connections. I was introduced to a successful woman in her early 70s who everyone referred to as a “legend.” She wanted to meet me for coffee and I thought, “What could she possibly see in me?” What she saw in me was herself. She had been 16 when her boyfriend died. He was her first love and they were teenagers in a different era, when it was perfectly plausible that you would be married after high school. Instead, he went to the hospital one day and never came back. She learned later that he’d died of cancer, which his parents had kept secret from him and from his friends. They didn’t know how to talk about it, and they didn’t want him or his friends to worry. This boy had died decades ago. She was married, a mother and a grandmother. And she told me about his death as if it had happened weeks ago, as if she were still 16, still shocked and confused that […]

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Guest Post with Harry Cline from newcaregiver.org

When it comes to Caregiving you may have questions regarding the options like where to live, type of facility or helping your loved one remain at home. Questions like Government benefits, health insurance, home care, and the never-ending questions that continue as your loved one ages. Please welcome Author Harry Cline of The New Caregiver’s Comprehensive Resource: Advice, Tips, and […]

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3 ways that your memory stays sharp even as you get older

Ideas.TED.com Oct 4, 2018 / Alan D. Castel While overall memory declines as we age, that’s far from the end of the story. In fact, there are certain things older people continue to remember quite well, says researcher Alan D. Castel. Our memories are our identities, and at my lab at UCLA, I’ve worked to understand how we remember what matters to us, especially as we age. Memory decline is one of the first things that concern people about growing older — it can start after the age of 20, so being more forgetful when you are 60 or 70 is often normal. And while a vast amount of research has shown the deficits that accompany aging, it’s far too simplistic to say that the elderly have impaired memories. In fact, there are many things older adults remember quite well. Here’s a look at a few of them: 1. Older people tend to remember the essentials. A great deal of memory research focuses on what might be considered by some of us to be mundane — word lists, face-name pairs, studying and being tested on pictures — and it’s unclear why this might be important to remember. But how about things that are of real concern or interest? Imagine you’re packing for a trip. You want to make sure you’ve put in the most important items, the ones that would be extremely costly and/or inconvenient if you forgot them (e.g., your passport, your credit cards). While […]

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Once unwanted, these dogs are now on the front lines of wildlife conservation

Ideas TED Talks Nov 6, 2018 / Rebekah Barnett These incredible pups catch poachers, sniff out invasive plants and diseases, and more, thanks to the work of wildlife biologist and conservation-dog expert Megan Parker. What happens to those dogs that are just too much dog for people to handle? “You know them — you go to your friend’s barbecue, their dog is so happy to see you that she pees on your feet, and she drops a slobbery ball in your lap,” says Megan Parker (TEDxJacksonHole talk: Dogs for Conservation), a wildlife biologist and dog expert based in Bozeman, Montana. “You throw it to get as much distance between you and the dog as possible, but she keeps coming back with the ball. By the 950th throw, you’re thinking, Why don’t they get rid of this dog?” All too often, their owners reach the same conclusion and leave their pet at a shelter. Thanks to Parker and the team at Working Dogs for Conservation (WD4C), some of these dogs have found a new leash lease on life. They’re using their olfactory abilities and unstoppable drive in a wide variety of earth-friendly ways, working with human handlers to sniff out illegal poachers and smugglers, track endangered species, and spot destructive invasive plants and animals. Chai is shown here with a trainer. After a dog learns to recognize a particular scent, the education isn’t over — their handler works with them regularly so they maintain their skills. These days, you can find this […]

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Netflix Original Series “Afflicted” Looks Deep At Chronic Illnesses

Netflix original series “Afflicted” season one has started and you can look at latest trailer at http://www.netflix.com/title/80188953 The Netflix promo grabbed me by the neck and said watch me. “Afflicted” is a show with the people who have baffling long-term chronic illnesses telling their story. Talking with medical professionals, most are clueless what is causing the illnesses. M  

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Through the child welfare kaleidoscope: A Therapist view

By Sheri Pickover and Heather Brown June 27, 2017 The amazing feature about kaleidoscopes is the endless, ever-changing scenes and complex patterns they reveal to anyone who takes the time to look. The gentlest of rotations invites a new and oftentimes completely different perspective on the same set of colorful shapes. Working with children, adults and families involved in the child welfare system is not so different. A vast array of interplaying events, reactions, concerns and characteristics make up a mosaic of factors that drive a counselor’s assessments and interventions. Any counselor who has worked with one or 100 cases involved in foster care understands how complex and overwhelming it can be to help this population. However, in using the metaphor of looking through a kaleidoscope, we are reminded of how one gentle turn of our focus can change our perspective of the case at hand in a way that will continuously drive more attuned, meaningful interventions. Knowing that the myriad shapes exist before, during and after our treatment with these clients, we can more easily remain open both to seeing and making sense of our clients, the child welfare system and its players, as well as our own experiences of these cases. Given that each turn of the kaleidoscope brings a new feature into view, we have some idea of the shapes that are there: neglect or abuse, histories of mental illness and substance abuse, court involvement, grief and […]

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Safe Dating Tips For Teens

RAINN SEXUAL ASSAULT Safe Dating Tips for Teens FEB 05, 2018 February is teen dating violence awareness month. For teens and those new to dating, it can be difficult to identify signs of an abusive relationship. The warning signs that a teen has been sexually assaulted or abused can easily blend in with the everyday struggles teens face as they learn how […]

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Donors.org First Million Projects

Donors.org is an awesome Charity that supports teachers projects. Bill & Melinda Gates often provide matching funds for projects. Please check out their website, the accomplishment of a MILLION teacher projects funded is mind-blowing. I personally  give to underserved with Learning Disabilities. You pick a project that tugs on your heart. Today only all funds are matched, great chance to […]

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Lyme Update #20: *Moving Forward*

I fired my Lyme Literate Doctor The last straw! My Lyme PA prescribed a medication which interacted with a psych medication. Making me Psychotic, pure bat crazy. Scared of myself. Walking in circles non-stop until exhausted. It took days for the medication to clear my system and bring me back to earth. It was life changing. I said horrible things […]

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How to raise successful kids without overparenting — ideas.ted.com

Moms and dads often feel like they can’t win. If they pay too much attention to their kids, they’re helicopter parents; too little, and they’re absentee parents. What’s the happy medium that will result in truly happy, self-sufficient kids? Here are five tips. 1. Give your kids things they can own and control. “Enlist the… via How to raise successful kids without overparenting — ideas.ted.com

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How should we talk about mental health?

IDEAS.TED.COM DEC 18, 2013 / Thu-Huong Ha Mental health suffers from a major image problem. One in every four people experiences mental health issues — yet more than 40 percent of countries worldwide have no mental health policy. Across the board it seems like we have no idea how to talk about it respectfully and responsibly. Stigma and discrimination are […]

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Children’s Bureau: Law and Policies

Laws & Policies Listen The Children’s Bureau provides guidance to states, tribes, child welfare agencies, and more on the complex and varied federal laws as they relate to child welfare. What’s New in Laws & Policies This page provides resources and information about new federal legislation, regulations, and Children’s Bureau policies. Child Welfare Policy Manual The Child Welfare Policy Manual […]

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Yale Observes Breast Cancer Awareness Month

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. If you’re looking to increase your own awareness, join learners around the globe in Dr. Anees Chagpar’s “Introduction to Breast Cancer.” The course caters to a wide audience ranging from medical professionals to those personally affected by the disease. Dr. Chagpar says “by understanding breast cancer better, people can breathe easier and the […]

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Bipolar & Dementia

Reblogged from Kitt O’Malley I fear dementia. Both of my parents have dementia and live in a memory care community. They love one another and seem happy where they are now, but it took a while to make that happen. They wanted to maintain their independence. Understandable. I fear dementia. Though I hope by avoiding alcohol and taking my […] via Bipolar

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Support Parents Efforts to Save Baby *Let Parents Decide on Critical Illness, Not Judge*

This family is having their most difficult times spread across the news. The British government has ruled in favor of the hospital to keep baby on life support and not allow parents to come to America for an experimental drug. I think it’s a sad day when government over rides parents in the welfare of their baby. People are so supportive of the family, having rally’s outside the hospital, American hospitals have offered to treat him free of charge. With the out pouring of support, it’s mind numbing to think government and the hospital have more rights than the parents. They want the best for their son. It breaks my heart to see the parents plea and cry. M https://www.aol.com/article/news/2017/07/10/british-judge-looks-for-new-evidence-in-case-of-critically-ill-b/23024052/

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WOW! WordPress Achievement

  My first blog started in 2005 and hosted by Blogger. I was caring for my dying grandmother. I had to write and let it go. Her death was devastating, as you’ve read in many post. She’s never left my side. Granny was the strongest woman I ever met, she knew how to keep her mouth shut. Something I did not inherit. I could let out steam, cry by myself, recharge for next day. Yesterday WordPress sent an Achievement notice. Time does fly, in sickness and health. You are the reason I’ve stayed. You followed me, left good and a few bad comments, you lifted me up when I was down. Most importantly your Blog has entertained, made me cry and lifted my spirits to the sky. I am blessed to talk with each of you. Thank you for standing by me these crazy eight years.  M ACHIEVEMENT Happy Anniversary with WordPress.com! You registered on WordPress.com 8 years ago. Thanks for flying with us. Keep up the good blogging.

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Self-Care After Trauma

From our friends at RAINN.org   Self-care is about taking steps to feel healthy and comfortable. Whether it happened recently or years ago, self-care can help you cope with the short and long-term effects of a trauma like sexual assault. Physical self-care After a trauma, it’s important to keep your body healthy and strong. You may be healing from injuries or feeling emotionally drained. Good physical health can support you through this time. Think about a time when you felt physically healthy, and consider asking yourself the following questions: How were you sleeping? Did you have a sleep ritual or nap pattern that made you feel more rested? What types of food were you eating? What meals made you feel healthy and strong? What types of exercise did you enjoy? Were there any particular activities that made you feel more energized? Did you perform certain routines? Were there activities you did to start the day off right or wind down at the end of the day? Emotional self-care  Emotional self-care means different things to different people. The key to emotional self-care is being in tune with yourself. Think about a time when you felt balanced and grounded, and consider asking yourself the following questions: What fun or leisure activities did you enjoy? Were there events or outings that you looked forward to? Did you write down your thoughts in a journal or personal notebook? Were meditation or relaxation activities a part of your regular […]

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Caregiver Tip #1, Books that Saved My Sanity

  Our population is in a large up swing as “Baby Boomers” reach Social Security age which indicates the potential increased need for Caregivers. There are many stages the elderly and dying go through until  death. The books below helped me maneuver the invisible line we have to cross based on their capabilities. ” Each of the books made a profound difference in understanding which I needed Actions I needed to potentially help with and understand the root cause of certain actions. I found with my Grannys the time frame was at breakneck speed due to her Dementia. With my Gramps we had more time together and for him to participate in his affairs which caused conflict as we transitioned over to me making decisions. The 36 hour day by Nancy L. Mace & Peter V. Rabins Elder Rage or Take My Father Please !, How to Survive Caring For Aging Parents by Jacqueline Marcell The Savvy Senior, The Ultimate Guide to Health, Family, and Finances for Senior Citizens by Jim Miller The Complete Eldercare Planner by Joy Loverde I hope one of the books or all help you if you find yourself at a crossroad. Xx M

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Happy 96th Birthday Granny, This Day Celebrates Your Life

Granny today is a special day. Today is your 96th Birthday, time for a well deserved Big Party. Gramps cooking of the grill, everyone lining up for the brisket. I attend to your needs and help you around to socialize and know when the conversation ran dry. Let’s go all out, it’s just money, money you never spent on yourself. It’s your Special day. I hold you’re hand so you can dance with Gramps. He’s happy if your happy, he just can’t say it in words. It’s hard to believe it’s been 10 years since you left us. I have so many questions. I talk to you or about you everyday. Our bond was not broken in death. Hold my hand as I battle this disease. I need your strength, more than ever. I watched you suffer daily as you slipped away and no longer knew me. I think of your last minutes, my hand under your head, giving you a Morphine stick. Saying granny you’ll be in Heaven, the pain is gone. You can let go, let go of the pain, Take Gods hand. I felt her pass and knew she was in the right place. As I lose my memory, I pray for your strength and dignity. I love you, cry for you and miss the great times we had. My childhood memories as clear today. Nothing like being Speed Racer in your wheelchair and taking over the mall. You got […]

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Dedicated To Friend *S*

Dedicated to S We share our pain, which affects every inch of the body. Stress makes me feel, lost in life detached from my body, my mind is lost outside of my body, screaming, shaking, crying, sitting here with no idea why I in floor. I get overcome with anger and quit shaking. There were unending pain, lost. Does anyone care? We share our pain differently, we both been knocked to the floor, questioning how am I going to get up. I have a hard coating just as you. A bad day or weeks we can help, sometimes hug when the tears flow. I told you years ago, I’m your friend. It burns when fire comes for you.  

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How Many People Can Fit In A Van?

I found a way to celebrate my followers, looking beyond post into their personal life. I look forward to learning knowing more. No follower is safe! No Opt Out! Bloggers have followers who bring sunshine with every comment, conversation.Van gives me the blessing every time we have a conversation. Not all conversations are funny as a toad. That’s Texan speak […]

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ILADS Response To Centers of Medicare/Medicaid Services of Health & Human Services

The International Lyme Disease Association (ILADS) http://ilads.org, knows Chronic Lyme Disease exists, requiring extensive treatment currently restricted by the Center of Disease Control. The letter is a proactive communication advocating for longer treatment options. Taken From ILADS letter to Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services Department of Health and Human Services. RE: Proposed Rule concerning antibiotic stewardship in Hospitals, Critical Access Hospitals and Nursing Homes  Additionally, the proposed rule emphasizes measures to eliminate discrimination directed at certain groups. The ILADS comment pointed out that persons with Lyme disease and tick-borne infections constitute a large and growing class of individuals subjected to severe and unjust discrimination which requires recognition and correction. Specifically, although many individuals in this group of patients often require longer courses of antimicrobials than are commonly prescribed, many are denied appropriate care based on arbitrary protocols that do not consider the specifics of their case. While ILADS recognizes that there are differences of opinion in the literature, after a thorough review of the evidence regarding Borrelia burgdorferi, the agent of Lyme disease, ILADS concluded that here is substantial scientific support for persistent infection. For this reason, ILADS promotes the selective and judicious use of extended antimicrobial therapy in patients with Lyme disease rather than the arbitrarily proscribed treatment durations championed by others. http://www.ilads.org/ilads_news/2016/ilads-statement-on-cms-proposed-rule-concerning-antibiotic-stewardship/ To read the entire response, click on link above. You will see the organizations fundamental beliefs, commitment to improving treatment for Lyme and other tick […]

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Take Opiates? With Benzodiazepines? New Black Box Warning

The FDA announced a Black Box Warnings for Opiates and Benzodiazepines medications taken together. BLACK BOX WARNINGS are the highest warning the FDA issues on medication. I was surprised by the number of each I take daily. Call your doctor for updated prescribing information. Subscribe to the Weekly Digest for up to the minute information. FDA MedWatch – Opioid Pain or Cough Medicines Combined With Benzodiazepines: Drug Safety Communication – FDA Requiring Boxed Warning About Serious Risks and Death http://www.fda.gov/Safety/MedWatch/SafetyInformation/SafetyAlertsforHumanMedicalProducts/ucm518710.htm?source=govdelivery&utm_medium=email&utm_source=govdeliver

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Learning from Chronic Illness *Tid Bits, Falling and Learning To Fly*

I dedicate this post to the chronically ill, newly diagnosed and their caregivers. You are the Survivors. It took three painful years to learn I had Chronic Lyme Disease. I’ve had bumps over the years, nothing like Lyme. I’m totally dependent on my husband. Every week he takes countless hours off work. There’s IV Therapy before and after work. Day to-day monitoring the catheter with weekly bandage changes. Out of state doctor appointments once a month, insure medicines are taken properly, on time and everything you can think of. I didn’t know what life would teach me. Boy have I learned and want to share with you. The ongoing guilt is a challenge for me.Guilt for not getting out of bed, doing laundry, on and on. I had no concept of how humiliating daily life can get. I march on. At 52, I wear Kotex for daily spills. The agony of not taking extra Kotex on long flight. I made a list to complete before treatment. HA! It’s hard to prepare for everything when an illness effects everyone different. The post is female oriented, I can’t speak for men. Use your imagination. Some suggestions will make you laugh and others grateful to know. Here are a few surprises. The list is task you may want to consider. Any Dental work Mammogram Gynecologist By wardrobe essentials, one size larger, possibly add another half-size or larger. Shoes become a nightmare, one day your sneakers fit, next day […]

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TED Talks: 10 Video Playlist on Autism Spectrum

I love Ted Talks, any subject, any time, presentations less than 20 minutes long. If you have an interest in the Autism Spectrum one or many presentations may answer your questions. You can search their mass library at http://www.ted.com. Sign up it’s free. http://www.ted.com/playlists/153/the_autism_spectrum?utm_source=newsletter_weekly_2016-04-02&utm_campaign=newsletter_weekly&utm_medium=email&utm_content=playlist_button Xx  M

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Zika:Sharing Data in a Public Health Emergency

Sharing Data in a Public Health Emergency The case for sharing data, and the consequences of not doing so, have been brought into stark relief by the Ebola and Zika outbreaks. In response, the New England Journal of Medicine has become a journal signatory to the following statement. “In the context of a public health emergency of international concern, it is imperative that all parties make available any information that might have value in combatting the crisis. As research funders and journals, we are committed to working in partnership to ensure that the global response to public health emergencies is informed by the best available research evidence and data. Journal signatories will make all content concerning the Zika virus free access. Any data or preprint deposited for unrestricted dissemination ahead of submission of any paper will not preempt later publication in these journals. Funder signatories will require researchers undertaking work relevant to public health emergencies to establish mechanisms to share quality-assured interim and final data as rapidly and widely as possible, including with public health and research communities and the World Health Organization. We urge other journals and research funders to make the same commitments.” The New England Journal of Medicine has substantial files available at the link below.  http://www.nejm.org/page/zika-virus?emp=marcom&query=NEW I have additional information to verify, once completed a new post will share new information. I urge you to visit The New England Journal of Medicine for extensive data on […]

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FDA Medwatch-Drug Safety Labeling Changes

03/14/2016 The FDA MedWatch-February 2016 Safety Labeling Changes includes 21 products with safety labeling changes to the following sections: CONTRAINDICATIONS, WARNINGS, PRECAUTIONS, ADVERSE REACTIONS, or PATIENT PACKAGE INSERT/MEDICATION GUIDE. The “Summary Page” table provides a listing of product names and safety labeling sections revised: http://www.fda.gov/Safety/MedWatch/SafetyInformation/ucm489329.htm The following drugs had modifications to the CONTRAINDICATIONS, WARNINGS, and PRECAUTIONS sections: Atacand (candesartan cilexetil) Tablets Atacand HCT (candesartan cilexetil/hydrochlorothiazide) Atripla (efavirenz/emtricitabine/tenofovir disoproxil fumarate) Tablets Avalide (irbesartan/hydrochlorothiazide) Tablets Cimzia (certolizumab pegol) Lyophilized Powder and Solution for Subcutaneous Use Complera (emtricitabine/rilpivirine/tenofovir disoproxil fumarate) Tablets Depacon (valproate sodium) Injection Depakene (valproic acid) Capsules Depakene (valproic acid) Oral Solution Depakote (divalproex sodium) Delayed Release Tablets Depakote ER (divalproex sodium) Extended Release Tablets Depakote Sprinkle Capsules Fluorescite (fluorescein injection) Fosrenol (lanthanum carbonate) Chewable Tablets and Oral Powder Gilenya (fingolimod) Capsules Invirase (saquinavir mesylate) Capsules and Tablets Stribild (elvitegravir/cobicistat/emtricitabine/tenofovir disoproxil fumarate) Tablets Tecfidera (dimethyl fumarate) Truvada (emtricitabine/tenofovir disoproxil fumarate) Tablets Vistaril (hydroxyzine pamoate) Capsules and Oral Suspension Complete and submit the report Online: http://www.fda.gov/MedWatch/report. Download form or call 1-800-332-1088 to request a reporting form. Then complete and return to the address on the pre-addressed form, or submit by fax to 1-800-FDA-0178  

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FDA Statement: Eye Drops-Potential Risk

FDA MedWatch – Eye Drops: FDA Statement – Potential Risk of Loose Safety Seals 03/15/2016 Eye Drops: FDA Statement – Potential Risk of Loose Safety Seals AUDIENCE: Consumer, Eye Care ISSUE: FDA is warning the public about eye drop bottles that have loose plastic safety seals or tamper evident rings below the bottle cap that may fall onto the eye when the product is used. See Safety Statement for example photo. FDA has received reports of six adverse events associated with loose safety seals on eye drop bottles. FDA is in the process of identifying all relevant products and will require a change in the packaging design. BACKGROUND: The plastic safety seal or tamper-evident ring, also known as a collar, or band, should stay connected to the bottle neck. However, some eye drop bottles are losing the safety seals or rings when consumers tilt or squeeze the bottle to place eye drops into their eyes. A loose safety seal or ring presents a safety risk as it may cause eye injuries. RECOMMENDATION: Consumers and health care providers who have these products should not attempt to remove the ring or seal because there is a potential to contaminate the tip of the dropper. FDA strongly recommends when using tamper-evident rings, the bottle/cap design include a positive-retention mechanism similar to those on disposable plastic beverage bottles to prevent the rings from coming off while using the product. FDA is continuing to investigate […]

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Nine years old living in Hell

Original post 4/2014 My brother and I called our stepfather a Nazi because he was mostly German and he would beat our mother unmercifully. Her crimes as we knew were not having dinner ready or not warm enough. The kids were to loud, noise was not allowed in the house, he was an alcoholic with major control issues. I was 9 years old, my brother six & half years old and our two-step brothers where much younger. They came to live with us after Houston Social Services found my stepfather the better parent. Of the choices, he was. Their mother was a drug addict. He never saw the boys after the divorce. By the time they were in the court system, they had been left at home for up to two weeks with no food, nothing. The youngest in the same diaper. The youngest experienced trauma so severely he regressed to a baby. Her addiction took over her life for that matter she may have forgotten she had kids until she came down enough. I hated my stepfather from the beginning, he didn’t wait to start controlling everything. He rarely talked to my mother it was always yelling. It was very complicated for me. I hated my mother for abusing me but it still hurt when he beat her. We had a long hallway that passed our bedrooms. When he was out of control he would walk my mother down […]

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Happy Birthday Granny, You are my role model

Granny is little girl in front, curly hair, cross eyed, gather around her siblings. Her life was shattered when her father died in 1930. Her mother could not manage the money, it must have been hard on the kids. Back in the old days the snake oil, fuller brush and many more stopped by. She would buy everything. Her oldest brother joined the Circus and traveled around the world. He returned home starting a career as a Concierge at upscale restaurant. Two of her brothers wanted money and fast. One became a bank robber, He and wife spent several years in prison.The day he walking out of jail, it was business as usual with eyes to cover his back. The older joined the local Mafia. At the time slot machines were the way to the money.The tragedy is he was murdered with cyanide. I am totally fascinated buy the Mafia. I tried not to think about him dying in what became my bedroom. Granny had tragedy through out her life. A lesser person might have crushed under the pressure. My father wasn’t even 2 years old when they where abandoned buy here husband. Granny worked hard labor to care for her son. She remarried my gramps when my father was 10 years old. My grandmother never gave up. She never said I don’t know, it was learn as you go. Granny was shy by nature and passive aggressive at time. […]

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I'm Mourning and She is Still Alive

Originally posted February 27, 2006 My grandmother passed away in 2005 from Dementia brought on by two strokes. I’m reposting for caregivers with a loved one with Alzheimer’s or Dementia. For those who have not been a caregiver, the post may help you down the road. Caregivers commit every ounce of energy to keep their loved one comfortable, take care […]

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Randstein nominated me for Once a Victim Now a Survivor Award

Thank you my friend Randstein A special thank you to Randstein for nominating me the Once A Victim Now A Survivor Award.  Randstein is a good friend, always happy to help, writes the most fantastic stories. His short stories give you plenty to think about. Randstien’s blog is hyperionsturm.wp.com. He’s a founding member of survivorsbloghere.wp.com I’m glad to have met him, my life has expanded. This award is for those who have gone through mental illness of any kind, abuse, trauma, and especially PTSD. The Rules: 1. Thank the blogger that nominated you 2. Nominate 5 – 10 bloggers to pass the award to 3. Post 5 questions for your nominees to answer (you may use the same as these below) 4. Inform your nominees and post a comment in their blog to let them know they’ve been nominated Questions: 1. In what ways do you feel that blogging can help people with psychological trauma or mental illness? I think writing can help in many ways. It’s perfect outlet to share, work thru pain and trauma. Blogging provides support from people who are a few steps ahead. The experience of putting your pain in a post can give a feeling of success. Writing thoughts down can help you see what needs more work. Posting takes a load off, no matter how small. We gain confidence one step at a time.   2. How has blogging helped you with your healing, or your personal journey? I started […]

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Dementia Induced Thoughts of Suicide

Reblogged from 2005 Being a caregiver to a dying loved one can leave you drained of emotion, exhausted and frustrated. All normal feelings. I felt quilt mixed in my bowl of emotions. I grew up knowing my grandparents wanted to die at home. I would grant the wish if possible. They inspired me, saved me from parental abuse and blessed me with unconditional love. I felt terrible helping my Gramps make difficult life decisions. I worked hard to remember she is my grandmother. There were uncomfortable conversations, articulate to doctors how she is progressing and butt heads with family members. I ran a tight ship, no problems telling people it’s time to leave, not allowing people over everyday. God blessed me with the ability to turn my depression away and step up to next level. Love for my Granny drove my decisions down to the last morphine stick. It can get overwhelming at times. If you don’t have a an outlet, please take 10-15 minutes for yourself everyday. I started my blog to document what I was going thru, hoping someone could use the information. Blogging gave me an outlet. Caregivers choose to open their heart to the emotional and physical challenges. Granny died 10 years ago yet I’m crying like it was yesterday. I loved her so much, it hurts so deeply. ************************ Today I used one of four “in case of emergency” pills to keep my Grandmother from hurting herself […]

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Caregiver Tips I Missed *What I Know Now*

I wrote the post 12/23/2009, Gramps died a year later. Many people are finding themselves in a caregiver role. I’ll post several on my experiences as the caregiver.  Breath.  As mentioned in earlier post I care for my 92-year-old grandfather, I’ve been here for five weeks. Here are a few lessons I missed in the Caregiver 101 manual. *Ask the doctor what happens if the procedure does not work. *If a second procedure fails does not work, is there a third option. *What is the recovery time and what type of home health services needed. Gramps went in for non-invasive surgery, nothing prepared me for the outcome. I’ve been through many surgeries with my grandfather. The procedure had not performed before however it was non-invasive. It actually sounded the least complicated procedure to date. I forgot nothing is normal or non -invasive at 92 years old. We went from going home that afternoon, to having three surgeries over the next seven days. I made the mistake of thinking the procedure would go as they had in the past. Age makes all the difference, just five years at this stage in life can change everything. I’m blessed to spend this time with my grandfather. We still have a long road ahead. It is very emotional and testing my patience I’ve become the parent and he doesn’t like me telling him anything especially when to take his medicine. He has raised his voice […]

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Happy Fathers Day Gramps *Memories Fill My Heart With Joy*

I love you Gramps. The memories we made fill my heart with joy. Teaching me how to fish. The first fish I caught, standing up almost turning the boat over. At 13 you gave me a 16 gauge shot-gun, we went to the levees to practice. I shot a duck out of season, you were pretty cool about that. Laughing when I shot at dragonflies. I will always remember throwing trash cans in truck, heading to levy for driving lessons. He picked up more cans on parallel parking. Gramps didn’t hear this song, he didn’t know Carrie Underwood. He would rather listen to Buck Owens or George Jones, old-time country. This song touched me deeply, I can’t listen to without crying. I’ll see you soon. I know this is my temporary home.  XO Melinda

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Love Is A Verb, It Ain't A Thing **Gramps Thank You For Showing Your Love**

Gramps would skip my nick name “Pud” and go straight to first name asking why I wrote this. Because I love you and want to thank you for being the father I never had. You taught me thru love when I needed it most. Your rules strict and set in cement. You taught me responsibility by setting an example. The nuggets we learn and realize when we’re older. I work to live by your example except for telling dirty jokes and I cuss way more. I went to work at 15 years old and drove his car. He had me pay $50 for yearly insurance and $8.00 a week for gas, gas cost 0.89 at the time. My first car was a puck green Dodge Duster, the car was ugly but the tunes blared out. I was jamming. The rules were clear-cut, I could only drive my car to school, work, journalism, girls basketball and granny to mall. Granny told me years later he checked to make sure I was working on school paper, I was, he never checked again. When I started dating at 17 years old my curfew was 12:00, not 12:05. No phone calls after 9:00 PM, no leaving the house after 9:00PM, “you could get into no good if leaving after 9:00PM”. If not working I was home by 4:30PM for supper. Both of my grandparents showed me their love. He only raised his voice one time. His […]

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ALERT: FDA Recalls Baby Wipes for Bacteria **Sold at Walgreens, Family Dollar, Sam's Club, Fred's & Diapers.com**

I thought it was important to post this recall. The bacteria in these baby wipes can cause a serious medical risk. Please see the highlighted names the baby wipes sold under.  XO Warrior FDA MedWatch – Baby Wipes by Nutek Disposables, Inc.: Recall – May Contain Bacteria 10/27/2014 Baby Wipes by Nutek Disposables, Inc.: Recall – May Contain Bacteria Including brand names: Cuties, Diapers.com, Femtex, Fred’s, Kidgets, Member’s Mark, Simply Right, Sunny Smiles, Tender Touch, and Well Beginnings AUDIENCE: Consumer, Pulmonology ISSUE: Nutek Disposables, Inc. initiated a nationwide voluntary product recall at the retail level of all lots of baby wipes that it manufactured under the brand names Cuties, Diapers.com, Femtex, Fred’s, Kidgets, Member’s Mark, Simply Right, Sunny Smiles, Tender Touch, and Well Beginnings, because some packages may contain bacteria. These wipes were distributed by Nutek prior to October 21, 2014 to the following retail stores: Walgreens, Sam’s Club, Family Dollar, Fred’s, and Diapers.com. After receiving a small number of complaints of odor and discoloration, Nutek conducted microbial testing that showed the presence of the bacteria Burkholderia cepacia (B. cepacia), in some of these products. B. cepacia poses little medical risk to healthy people. However, people who have certain health problems like weakened immune systems or chronic lung diseases, particularly cystic fibrosis, may be more susceptible to infections with B. cepacia. As of October 3, 2014, the date of the original withdrawal, the company had received only one report of […]

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Critical Follow Up Information To Lyme and Other Tick Borne Illnesses Post

Update on Lyme post. As you read about Lyme you will hear about co-infections. When a tick bites you every infection its carrying transfers to you. Another type of co-infection is from the virus moving thru your body. If the virus makes its way to your organs including the heart and brain. The menacing virus causes damage inside the body other than Lyme. The co-infections can get extremely painful. I hope you will seek out the more information to get the true horrifying story. Education may save your life or someone you love.      Warrior Here are several great resources to learn in-depth information on Lyme and Tick Borne Illnesses.  On YouTube: Interview with Daryl Hall of Hall and Oats Dr. Horowitz: Lyme Disease & Chronic Illnesses  ( Dr. Horowitz is the foremost expert on Lyme, invented an exact test performed at IGenex ) Lyme Disease: History & Controversies included proper way to remove tick. Additional resources ***http://justinandchrista.ca    This is your total education on Lyme, Husband films wifes struggle with Lyme over 5 years.  THIS IS A MUST  She screams in agony, it’s heartbreaking and may disturb small children. ILADS International Lyme and Associated Diseases Society  The association provides training for doctors for Lyme certification, tons of stats and how to find a Lyme Literate Doctor. Dr. Horowitz’s latest book, Why Can’t I Get Better: Solving Lyme and Chronic Disease ( downloaded but haven’t started yet ) If you want every detail, this presentation is for […]

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If You Think You Know Lyme It's Time For a Serious Refresher Course

Over the past 6+ months my Neurologist has performed every test in her arsenal except a spinal. Every test she ran came back abnormal yet not able to pin down a diagnosis (see post Are Those My Brainwaves). She refered me to a Rheumatologist to start on the tread mill again. I started researching illnesses which included brain wave abnormalities to weed out my more common symptoms. There were the ones I expected, Lupus, Multiple Sclerosis or other autoimmune disorder. I didn’t think my answer would come from RA Doctor. More reasearch and what I found was alarming, not the illness alone, the politics and witch hunt taking place. The illness is Lyme or other tick borne illnesses. The CDC rates Texas as med-high concentration. The east coast is at epidemic levels with some articles stating we are facing epidemic levels across the country. I had a different idea for this post yet feel it’s critical to get this information out ASAP. When I learned of the divide in the medical community over Lyme, I shook my head. What is the controversy. The CDC establishes treatment standards for doctors. The standard Lyme test is based on 20-year-old information. What happens is you go to doctor for a Lyme test, it comes back negative. You then find out the test is 30% +/- correct. The CDC acknowledges the test has false positives yet the standard for testing hasn’t changed. With a lack of confidence in […]

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Cigna Denies Cochlear Implant to Disabled Three Year Old Nikki **Speak Up for Justice**

Change.org Cigna: Approve coverage for my daughters cochlear implant My daughter Nicole was born with several health issues. In her first four months of life she had three bowel surgeries, one heart surgery, bacterial meningitis, and we learned that she would need a liver transplant. We also learned that Nikki suffered from undetermined hearing loss, however during that time the doctors and her family was focused on life saving procedures. Nikki is now three years old (almost 4) and she has neuropathy in her left ear and has been pronounced profound deaf in her right ear. We have been fortunate to be able to send Nikki to the Atlanta Speech School, which has worked wonders with her speech ability. However, her speech pathologist, therapist, teachers, and doctor have determined that Nikki has reached a plateau and will not likely improve in her speech or hearing abilities. Based on her doctor recommendation along with the advisors at the speech school, we requested Cigna (my employer provided insurance) to cover the cost of the cochlear implant. Cigna denied to cover the implant based on information provided and we appealed. The initial reason Cigna denied coverage was stated that Nikki’s hearing loss was not significant enough and she had not utilized hearing aids for at least a three-month period. During the appeal Cigna was informed that Nikki had in fact utilized hearing aids in both ears for more than two years, and her […]

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Lost in Caregiver Twilight Zone

We learned he had months to live during this hospital stay. One very important piece of information the doctor did not share is people his age die much quicker. My gramps died February 2010. We knew the end was near yet your never ready. For me times were challenging and emotions raw. You look at your loved one knowing they are dying yet you don’t want them to know you see death when you look at them. My gramps had Prostrate Cancer, Bladder Cancer and Chronic Kidney Failure. His breathing labored from not getting enough oxygen in the blood. Partially brought on by not using his oxygen. Kidney Failure caused severe anemia and he took shots once a month to help with energy.  I would sleep in the floor at the hospital or a chair if lucky.   XO  Warrior ******************* December 2009 I’ve been caring for my 92-year-old grandfather for five weeks following three surgeries within seven days. I’m so tired it’s numbing. My grandfather is a man of habits driven by the time of day, maybe from his military background. One morning he was upset when the hospital had not brought his coffee and could not see he was the problem. We’re in a hospital not the Hilton. At home it was far worse. It does not matter that I have changed the sheets again this morning, changed his soiled underpants more than once and got him dressed for the day. If […]

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Non-Violent 1st Time Drug Offender Spends *Life in Jail Without Parole*

 Change.org  There’s a new petition taking off on Change.org, and we think you might be interested in signing it: My name is Heather Minor and on February 6, 2001, when I was 7 years old, my life took a horrible turn when my father was sentenced to life in prison for a nonviolent drug offense. Without clemency from President Obama, he will die in prison. When my father, Ricky Minor, was given his sentence I didn’t realize I was about to begin a journey that would become a new “normal” way of life for me – growing up without a father. Even though my dad was a first time nonviolent drug offender, under mandatory minimum sentencing laws he was sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole. On that same day, my mother was also arrested. My whole world as I knew it was completely destroyed. At the age of seven, both of my parents were taken away from me, and from that point forward I was raised by my elderly grandparents. I am now 21 years old, the first in my family to graduate from high school, and taking additional classes to improve my life. However, while I am trying to make the best of my life, the realization that my father will die alone in prison is too much for me to fathom. My father was suffering from a drug addiction and trying to cope with […]

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Speak Your Mind! Call Congressional Members 6/12/14 Urging to Co-Sponsor "KEEP ALL STUDENTS SAFE ACT"

Please remember there are no Federal Laws in place to limit the use of restraints and seclusion in Schools nationwide. Many times children with disabilities and mental illness have to deal with the trauma, trauma they don’t understand. We have to set standards to protect our children.  Warrior Tomorrow is our national call-in day so advocates all over the country can call their Senators and Representatives and ask them to co-sponsor the Keeping All Students Safe Act (S. 2036 and H.R. 1893). These bills greatly restrict the use of restraint and seclusion in our nation’s schools to protect children from harm. There are no federal laws regulating the use of restraint and seclusion in schools. Numerous media stories and various reports have documented the harm, trauma and even death that have occurred from the use of restraint and seclusion in schools. Restraint is being used in alarmingly high numbers on students with disabilities, including those living with mental illness. Effective alternatives exist to reduce and eliminate the unnecessary use of restraints and seclusion and protect students and staff. These bills support alternatives that provide students with a safe and positive learning environment. Call Today! Please call your Congressional members and urge them to co-sponsor the Keeping All Students Safe Act. Thank you for your dedication to mental health advocacy!  

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Sudanese Mother Mariam Yehya Ibrahim Gave Birth in Prison to Baby Girl

May 27, 2014 Thank you so much for signing the petition to #saveMariam. This morning Mariam gave birth in prison to a baby girl. Her husband has not yet been allowed to visit Mariam and her newborn baby. Her young son also remains with her in prison. Media reports (http://yhoo.it/1nsb5Z6) state that she will be able to nurse her baby for two years before her death sentence. Please continue to share the petition information with everyone you know. They can sign at: http://www.change.org/saveMariam.  Thank you. The Sudanese government postponed killing Mariam for not denouncing her Christian faith.  In an effort to show how generous Sudan is, Mariam can nurse for two years and take care of 20 month old in prison before her death sentence. As an America, a Christian and human, this story breaks my heart. It’s not one situation, it is the culture of women are not worthy. I’m so happy she is alive but can only imagine the stress on her and the children. If she makes it two years without being raped or beaten it’s a miracle. I pray our collective power of shining a bright light on the issue will let her go home. What about the children, I haven’t read any statements about where the children will go upon her death. This is a terrible crime against humanity. This type of abuse is rampant in the area for Women. Terrorist run the county. I will keep focused […]

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Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network (RAINN) Monthly Update

Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network         RAINN MONTHLY UPDATE http://RAINN.ORG Online Help – 1.800.656.HOPE (4673) RAINN: The nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization. One of “America’s 100 Best Charities” -Worth magazine House Votes to Renew DNA Bill A bill to renew the Debbie Smith Act, which would help eliminate the backlog of untested DNA evidence from unsolved rape cases, was passed by the House of Representatives. Learn More on Website RAINN Teams Up with Degrassi to Help Teens. TV show Degrassi included a storyline that followed the aftermath of an alcohol-facilitated sexual assault and its impact on the school. In conjunction with the episode, TeenNick aired a PSA that encouraged viewers to get help from the National Sexual Assault Hotline. Learn More on Website Survivor Spotlight: Stories of Support This month, survivors share how loved ones helped them on their paths toward hope and healing How You Can Support a Friend This Month If you or someone you love has been assaulted, it’s crucial to have a support system in place. A new series of infographics shares ways you can be supportive. Learn more on Website Anniversary of ‘Speak’ Connects with New Generation. RAINN and publishing house Macmillan bring Laurie Halse Anderson’s “Speak” to a new generation of young readers. Learn more about the #Speak4RAINN15 campaign and how a $15 donation can help a survivor today. Warrior

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Take Action for Children's Mental Health

National Alliance of Mental Illness Advocacy Update on National Children’s Mental Health Awareness Week 2014 TAKE ACTION for Children’s Mental Health National Children’s Mental Health Awareness Week, May 4-10, helps raise awareness around children’s mental health. This week NAMI joins communities around the country in raising awareness about the mental health needs of America’s youngest citizens. It is a week to focus on children and youth living with mental illness and to come together to advocate for a full array of effective services and supports for children affected by mental illness. View activities you can do to support Children’s Mental Health Awareness. TAKE ACTION for Children’s Mental Health Below are bills that you can take action on to tell your members of congress to prioritize children’s mental health. The Mental Health In Schools Act (S. 195 and H.R. 628) The Mental Health in Schools Act is critically important legislation that provides federal funding to increase the availability of comprehensive school-based mental health services and supports and builds effective links between schools and the community mental health system. This legislation will improve the early identification of mental illness by funding school and community-based mental health services and linking students with effective services and supports so they have the chance to thrive and reach their full potential. TAKE ACTION The Keeping All Students Safe Act (S. 2036 and H.R. 1893) This bill greatly restricts the use of restraint and seclusion in our nation’s […]

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Stations of the Cross

This post does not preach or try to convert anyone of any religion. It’s the story of my intersection with the Catholic Church at 13 years old. In my recent post “I Almost Killed My Father” I told of spending a year at a Convent for bad girls. It is here I became familiar to the Catholic Religion. Growing up we did […]

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Caregiver to Grieving in Four Days

Each day was a roller coaster by how he felt and how exhausted I was. I learned so much being a caregiver to my grandmother and grandfather. As the population ages many of you will take on the responsibility. One of the most difficult changes was going from granddaughter to caregiver. Even at 92 my grandfather had a strong mind and felt he didn’t need help. I prayer for strength everyday. My grandfather died in 2010 at the young age of 92 years old. I spent more time with him 2010 year than I spent at home. I cherish the time we had together, no matter how painful. They are my memories and my life changed forever with his death. His health declined so fast that for two days I did not realize that he was dying now, not in a couple of weeks. He was at home under hospice care and would not get in the hospital bed until two days before he passed. He fell out of bed that morning, he was so weak it was difficult for me to get him back in bed. I don’t think we would have been able to talk him into moving to the hospital bed if he had not fallen. For him the bed meant death and he was still fighting. My grandfather had End Stage Kidney Disease. An emergency trip to the hospital for his AFIB is how we learned he had about two months to live. We knew his kidneys were losing function but I was not ready for […]

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Caregiver 101 Tips I Missed

Reblogged from 2009 I care for my 92-year-old gramps and have been here five weeks. He had three surgeries in seven days. Without Caregiving 101 training, I learned the hard way. *Ask the doctor what happens if the  procedure does not work. *If a second procedure does not work, is there a third option. *What is the recovery time and type of […]

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Lost in Caregiver Twilight Zone

Written on 12/21/2009 I’m caring for my 92-year-old grandfather following three surgeries in seven days. I’m so tired it’s numbing, it’s impossible to think about doing it again tomorrow.  My grandfather is a man of habits driven by the time of day, maybe from his military background. One morning he was upset when the hospital had not brought his coffee and could not see he was the problem. We’re in a hospital not the Hilton. At home it was far worse. It does not matter that I have changed the sheets again this morning, changed his soiled underpants more than once and got him dressed for the day. If the coffee is not ready when he expects or I don’t have the newspaper yet, I hear about it. My grandparents raised me and I love my grandfather dearly but it’s hard to bite my tongue. I want to ask doesn’t he realize or care that I’ve been moving since 5:00 a.m. to take care of him. At 92 he lives at home alone, still drives (very limited), buys groceries and goes to the local Senior Center several times a week to play dominos. He amazes me with each year. He is the healthiest dying person I know and in his mind he is much younger and more capable. This makes it impossible for him to understand recovery will take several more weeks at least. I catch him doing things he […]

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I’m Mourning and She’s Still Alive

My grandmother passed away from Dementia from two strokes in 2005. I’m reposting for the caregivers dealing with a loved one with Alzheimer’s or Dementia. For those who have not been a caregiver, these post may help you down the road. For the caregivers who give every ounce of energy, just one piece of advice if I may. Take time to clear your head, 10 or 30 minutes whatever you can for yourself each week. I did not have any one to offer suggestions and had brain drain after both of their deaths. My body was physically broken down. Due to the nature of the illness it’s hard to take an eye off them, 24/7. I was fortunate we had hospice care for both of my grandparents. My grandfather was healthy enough to help with my grandmother. I don’t know how to turn my brain off. I’m Morning and She’s Still Alive As the caregiver for my grandparents my hands are full yet my mind runs at a high level by switching to what I call “caregiver mode”. I can manage tons of information about what drugs they take, schedule appointments, discuss test results or anything else needed to take care of two people who are dying and “switch back” when at home. Before the fall and broken hip my grandmother knew me. Our conversations limited yet sharing memories with her made my day. She really enjoyed a photo book I put […]

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Dementia Induced Thought’s of Suicide

Being a caregiver to a dying loved one can leave you drained of emotion, exhausted and frustrated. All perfectly normal feelings. I felt quilt mixed in my bowl of emotions. I grew up knowing my grandparents wanted to die at home. I would grant the wish if possible. They inspired me, saved me from parental abuse and blessed me with unconditional love. Helping my gramps when making difficult life decisions, while working hard to remember she’s my grandmother. There were uncomfortable conversations, articulate to doctors how she is progressing and butt heads with family members. I ran a tight ship, no problems telling people it’s time to leave, not allowing people over everyday. God blessed me with the ability to turn my depression down and step up to next level. Love for my grandmother drove my decisions down to the last morphine stick. As our population ages the number of caregivers increase. It can seem overwhelming at times. If you don’t have a blog I would suggest checking out, it gave me an outlet. Caregivers choose to open their hearts to the emotional and physical challenges.  Dementia Induced Thoughts Of Suicide Today I used one of four “in case of emergency” pills to keep my Grandmother from hurting herself during a dementia related meltdown brought on by my Grandfather going to the grocery store. She’s had many of these episodes since her stroke almost two years ago. Today I saw […]

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