When Bias Turns Into Bullying

By Lindsey Phillips June 29, 2018 We all have our biases — but just because bias is a universal part of the human experience doesn’t mean it is something we should ever dismiss offhandedly, either in ourselves or others. That’s because bias has serious consequences, and when left unchecked, it can turn into bullying. A 2012 study of California middle […]

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Feel like your workplace is depressing?

Published: May 17, 2018 5:58 p.m. ET Feel like your workplace is especially depressing? Scientists found out why. A stressful job can lead to serious mental health consequences. Some 14% of common mental illnesses could be prevented by reducing job strain, a study published Tuesday in the journal Lancet Psychiatry found. The study, conducted by Australian mental health nonprofit the […]

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Self-Care After Trauma

From our friends at RAINN.org   Self-care is about taking steps to feel healthy and comfortable. Whether it happened recently or years ago, self-care can help you cope with the short and long-term effects of a trauma like sexual assault. Physical self-care After a trauma, it’s important to keep your body healthy and strong. You may be healing from injuries or feeling emotionally drained. Good physical health can support you through this time. Think about a time when you felt physically healthy, and consider asking yourself the following questions: How were you sleeping? Did you have a sleep ritual or nap pattern that made you feel more rested? What types of food were you eating? What meals made you feel healthy and strong? What types of exercise did you enjoy? Were there any particular activities that made you feel more energized? Did you perform certain routines? Were there activities you did to start the day off right or wind down at the end of the day? Emotional self-care  Emotional self-care means different things to different people. The key to emotional self-care is being in tune with yourself. Think about a time when you felt balanced and grounded, and consider asking yourself the following questions: What fun or leisure activities did you enjoy? Were there events or outings that you looked forward to? Did you write down your thoughts in a journal or personal notebook? Were meditation or relaxation activities a part of your regular […]

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18 Years Old, Married, Divorced and Still Resentful 32 Years Later

Original post 7/2014 Looking back on my life there are times when events seem like yesterday and others a lifetime ago. This is a lifetime ago memory one buried in deep resentment and anger. It’s an oxymoron. I’ve had difficult challenges, staying alive was a challenge. I’m at peace in life now. I working thru the bitterness of abuse. I buried this one so deep I forgot about until yesterday. I was barely 18 yrs. old on August 1, 1981, the day of my first marriage. It was very hot in the chapel, my gramps slipped the Priest some money to turn the air up. His parents paid for the champagne, several cases and two of my uncles got drunk. But I’m getting ahead of myself. My father walked me down the isles as I carried three roses for my grandmother, his mother and one for a statue of Mary. His mother didn’t realize her rose would come after the ceremony and she thought I forgot. In the traditional Catholic service you  kneel for a good part of the ceremony. This is where the “it was hot” comes in. I have this long veil over my face, haven’t eaten all day and it was hot. I started to wobble and whispered I’m going to pass out. He said not much longer. He was right, within minutes I passed out. Keep in mind this important occasion is on VHS. The Priest and […]

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What’s Love Got To Do With It?

Original post 5/2014 We do things for people we love not for those who do not deserve love. I woke today with a tug, my introspective mood. I save difficult post for days like this. It’s not depression or sadness more logical than emotional. Dissociation is a conversation my therapist and I have talked about for 15 years. When I talk about child abuse at the hands of my mother and stepfather my mood is flat. One of the ways I survived was putting each memory in a box to deal with later. After awhile some memories fade. Other’s are  yearly reminders. My mother still sends Birthday and Christmas cards. About 15 years ago she sent a Birthday card triggering the last blow. She basically said “I’m not the only person with problems get over it.” Nothing ever changes, everything is about her. I had not thought about my mother yet would send thank you notes for Christmas gifts. I didn’t think about it, just on auto pilot. This Birthday card was different, it pissed me off almost to almost losing it which I rarely do. I took the card to my next therapy appointment. I sit down and Diane knew something was very wrong. I handed her the card and the inscription written in the book. Diane was a cool therapist, she knew me well. She could tell the anger was building and ask what was my next step. I […]

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Andy Warhol’s “So Sweet” *Live For Today*

Original post 5/2014 I had to buy this Warhol because it was the complete opposite of my childhood. I saw the happy little girl and thought about me in kindergarten. She’s carrying a bag of candy and a good report card, again not me. What makes it so special is my mother told me I was stupid all the time. I began to believe her. You look in the corner and see “So Smart”, words I love to hear. I wasn’t stupid, just carrying a heavy load. No kindergartener can handle the burden of that secret. Warrior

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Mother leaves 8 year old at county hospital

Original post 6/2014 It’s interesting the events our mind suppresses or forgets. I have no emotion talking about the physical and emotional abuse at the hands of my mother and step father. I have disassociated memories of sexual abuse by my father. I know it. My therapist and I have talked about it, she doesn’t push and knows if the door opens I’ll talk. What I will not do is force my mind and body to endure pain it’s not ready for. I have a good perspective on what I’ve survived and the methods our mind uses to deal with our deepest pain. I’m not sure if this particular memory was forgotten or suppressed. I had no emotion as my therapist was almost brought to tears. I saw a story on the news about a 8-year-old girl tortured by her parents in some way. I don’t recall the circumstances. I always plan what I want to talk about but this day was different. I sat down and the memory of the little girl crossed my mind. I asked her if she had heard the story then adding my thoughts. I started to cry which I do easily for others in pain. As we talked about what type of parent would do that, a childhood memory flooded over me. The tears dried and it was if I was talking about someone else. When I was 8 years old I started having […]

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