Tag: Abuse

I am alive, happy, productive and helping other Survivors. I’m very blessed. My childhood and teenage years were so difficult I truly believed suicide was the only answer. My first attempt was at 9 years old, I took all the pills in my dad’s medicine cabinet. I got a buzz then my stomach pumped. Suicide was always on my mind since the abuse was every day. If it wasn’t physical abuse, it was constant mental abuse by my mother. At the same time, I saw my mother physically and emotionally abused by my alcoholic stepfather. At 13 years old I left my abusive life behind. It sounds great but you are so wounded you don’t want to look anyone in the eye, they may hit you or call you names. My mind stripped down and filled with trash, my mother took every drop of confidence I had. Over time my confidence grew and I started building who I am today. I did get called names and had a couple good fights. Sounds like any teenager trying to spread their wings. I have many unresolved emotions, responses, and fears. Who doesn’t? What I can say for sure, I’m a survivor and so much more. Survivors have to dig really deep after being kicked down. It took years for me to discover what I liked and longer to get over my fear of failure. My mother told me I was stupid all the time. I know better […]

Survivor

Domestic Violence thru the eyes of a Child

September 4, 2018 32 Comments

Tears started my day, who knows what triggered the thought of this post and song. M Original post 4/26/2015 I witnessed my mother beat emotionally and physically everyday, it created chaos in my young mind. A tornado burned a hole in my heart. I couldn’t understand the feelings of pain when abused and watching abuse. Child abuse leaves a deep […]

Abuse

Michigan State : Three Football Players Face Charges & Coach Fired in Sexual Assault Case.

June 9, 2017 1 Comment

Timeline of key events in Michigan State football Sexual Assault investigation Michigan State football players Donnie Corley, Josh King and Demetric Vance have been charged in connection to a sexual assault investigation and a staff member. In the same investigation. Auston Robertson has also been charged with criminal sexual conduct in a separate case. Here’s the latest on how this story has evolved. http://www.mlive.com/spartans/index.ssf/2017/06/michigan_states_donnie_corley_1.html#incart_most-read_news_article Xx M

Crazy?

A Shimmer of Light

July 26, 2016 1 Comment

A shimmer of light Eyes filled with tears Light is closer I’m at complete peace God what do you want from me I have no special skill Is light a miracle from high above Trapped in darkness, I hear keys Thoughts no chains Falling to ground weeping Is the light a sign of better days How can it be, […]

Abuse

A Mother’s Guilt

July 16, 2016 1 Comment

Daughter My Birthday wish for You I hope that every candle brings a new wish. I hope the Smile that lights your face stays there all year-long. I hope everything you’ve dreamed it will come true. I hope you know how much I love You and how proud I am of you. Happy Birthday With So Much Love. Card from my Mother You can’t give back what you took from my life. Xx M

Abuse

Twenty Minutes of Rape

July 11, 2016 5 Comments

Information provided by RAINN SHARE THIS ARTICLE: Twenty Minutes of Rape June 22, 2016 “I so admire this woman, who had the guts to expose what she is going through and share it with the world.” Representative Cheri Bustos (D-IL) offered these thoughts on a night when a bipartisan group of 18 members of Congress stood in solidarity, each reading parts of a victim impact statement written by the survivor of a brutal sexual assault that occurred on Stanford University’s campus in 2014. The story has resonated around the world. In March of 2016, 20-year-old Brock Turner was convicted of three felony counts: sexually penetrating an unconscious person with a foreign object; sexually penetrating an intoxicated person with a foreign object; and assault with an intent to commit rape. Despite the finding of guilt and the brutal details of the crime—which involved a college party, an incapacitated and unconscious victim, and bystanders intervening when they discovered the victim behind a dumpster not far from campus—Judge Aaron Perksy decided to impose a sentence of only six months. This sentence was far less than the six years recommended by prosecutors, and only one-quarter of the normal two-year minimum sentence. Persky avoided minimum sentence by finding that “unusual circumstances” existed. The short sentence shocked many, as did a statement written by the perpetrator’s father defending his son’s “20 minutes of action.” Bringing national attention to the case, CNN anchor Ashleigh Banfield spent more […]

Abuse

Brock Turner Gets Six Month Jail Sentence For Sexual Assulting Unconscious Woman..Rape is Rape

June 16, 2016 5 Comments

I’m sick to my stomach after reading how Brock Turner serves only six months in jail for Raping an unconscious woman behind a dumpster. If you think raping is okay, you need help. The Judge is accountable for the low jail sentence. Rape is Rape. Xx M The Stanford Survivor Has a Name. It’s “My Hero.” JUNE 10, 2016 | BY MAILE ZAMBUTO | FILED UNDER JHF BLOG > OUR ISSUES SEXUAL ASSAULT IN OUR WORDS FROM THE CEO I first learned about Brock Allen Turner’s sentence for sexually assaulting an unconscious woman behind a dumpster on the Stanford University campus at the time everyone else did: last weekend. As the coverage was unfolding, I was with Mariska, members of our Joyful Heart Foundation staff and volunteers filming a local series of our NO MORE PSAs for Hawai‘i Says NO MORE. From morning into the night, we gathered at the Hawaii News Now studios in Honolulu and what we saw during the filming was brave, strong, and compassionate person after person, standing up for each other, for the people they love, for their partners, wives, husbands, children, neighbors, friends, mothers, and fathers, for people they’ve never met, for themselves. They were standing up to say NO MORE to the beliefs and attitudes that misplace blame on survivors, excuse those who cause harm, and allow institutions to look the other way. And outside of that room, the same thing was happening. […]

Abuse

Her Dreams Give Her Wings, Concrete Angel

June 6, 2016 1 Comment

Dose of Reality on Monday morning

Abuse

How to Protect the Civil Rights of Sexual Assault Survivors

May 28, 2016 1 Comment

TED Talks is a great resource on any topic.

Abuse

You Should See Her Fly

March 29, 2016 1 Comment

Abuse

How does Domestic Violence turn to Murder/Suicide

March 29, 2016 20 Comments

Last week a murder-suicide happened in my neighborhood. I was very ill and on pain meds, my husband shielded me from conversations with Police and the family. I felt a pain of my father’s suicide but quickly focused on the kids in our house. My husband came upstairs saying two kids are downstairs, they think the father killed […]

Alcohol

Dear Mr Fantasy

March 13, 2016 7 Comments

My fantasy about life with High School boyfriend started the day we met. Our relationship was on and off until my late 30’s. He had to marry me, then go back to wife. The last time we talked, he was moving out, filed for divorce, leased an apartment, later started to move in with me. I should include, I bought the ring $12,500, he would repay. HA! He gave new meaning to word jealous. I went to FL for business, had several presentations to finish. I stayed over a Saturday for the discount. The baby man said “I stayed over Saturday instead of paying more to be with him” I watched the Stars go for second Stanley Cup. One afternoon his wife wanted to talk. Be gone a hour or two. At 11:00PM, I called asking when coming home? Reply, later! I had to restrain from hurling my favorite pissed off words. He laid key on table, said he was going back to wife. After he left, I bursted in tears and threw his stuff on the porch. He emailed me the secret years later. His view, if you accuse someone of cheating, you get free pass. He didn’t go back to wife, the free pass got pregnant. She worked for him at Police Department. He would lie before tell the truth. Fantasy over! My choice last words, fuck off. We fell “love at first sight” in 9th grade, his mask melted many […]

Alcohol

Faded Memories II From Melody to Mody

March 11, 2016 45 Comments

I was born with healthy lungs and strong personality My parents chose Melinda Melody 1963. Melody was my fathers idea. To this day, my mother calls me Melody. I thought it was emotional abuse. In truth, She hated my father and used the name he chose. Emotionally broken down to unconditional love of my grandparents. God Blessed me with my grandparents, I can’t repay you with words. What I can do is support others. I became a Minister and started a charity. God give me the strength to mentor children. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Living in a household with child abuse and domestic violence, the days without violence can disappear. The memories, faded memories can trigger deep pain if the door is open. My trigger thru me in the abysses from listening to a song listened to hundreds of times. I felt like a bomb landed in my lap, the arrival created complete chaos. The memories were part of the chaos in my life. Shortly after the divorce from my father, my mother married shortly and my father married later. My brother and I called him the Nazi. He was an alcoholic, possessive and we marched to his beat. The verbal abuse started and shortly escalated to domestic abuse. We walked on eggshells constantly. A couple years into marriage my mother finds out he was married before with two children. We starting going to Houston regularly without knowing why. He was fighting the mother for […]

Advocacy

New Resources for Hispanic Women

March 2, 2016 1 Comment

Para obtener información sobre la Sala de Ayuda en espanol, haga clic aquí. Xx M Dear Friend, Today I’m proud to announce a new and very critical service for Spanish-speaking survivors: a confidential peer-support chatroom. La Sala de Ayuda (Helproom) is now open on Wednesdays and Saturdays from 7 to 9 pm ET. This service provides the kind of help that can make such a difference in a survivor’s healing process-the knowledge that they are not alone and the opportunity for survivors to support one another. Last year, the National Sexual Assault Hotline expanded to serve Spanish-speaking individuals. Today, Spanish-speaking survivors and loved ones are able to: *Read RAINN’s top content in Spanish *Chat one-on-one with a trained support specialist *Access peer support with fellow survivors Rosie Juarez, moderator In the words of Rosie Juarez, who moderates La Sala de Ayuda, “Often in the Spanish-speaking community, there is a fear of sharing your story-a fear that you won’t be believed or find the right support. On La Sala de Ayuda there is only support. There are other survivors who let you know that you’re not alone.” Rosie Juarez and Josue Melendez will moderate the service and ensure confidentiality. Josue Melendez, moderator Learn more from La Sala de Ayuda staff about how this new service works, and why it’s so critical for Spanish-speaking survivors and their loved ones. Con gratitud, Candice Lopez, Director of the National Sexual Assault Hotline PS -Tweet about […]

Abuse

Reckless, When I didn’t deserve it God held my hand

February 26, 2016 3 Comments

The honest lyrics describe me, no others words needed. God had his hand on me. Tomorrow I’ll believe. Having a bad ME day. Sending love to you this weekend. Xx M

Alcohol

Rest in Peace Grandma * I hope your heart is cleansed of Anger *

February 21, 2016 31 Comments

Original post 11/2014 You receive from the world what you give to the world. Oprah My maternal grandma died this week. I have no emotion. I would like to tell a story of a grandma and her granddaughter bonding and building memories. I can’t write about bonding because booze was her best friend. My grandfather an alcoholic as well, I can’t recall his voice. I walked into their house, the smell of Scotch over whelmed me. I wanted to get sick. My grandfather always sat at the dining table, a tall glass and bottle of J&B no more than arms length.He stared ahead and didn’t participating in the conversation. My grandmother verbally abused me every time I visited or talked to her. I have no ill will for her, I live in the present. As a teenager, I felt cheated not having a relationship with them. Everyone carries baggage. She has to account for her choices in life before our maker. She birthed my abusive mother. My grandma had pent-up anger and aimed for me. The ones I heard most often “it was my fault my mother got pregnant” or “I ruined my mother’s life” or the most painful “you were a mistake” I lived for years hearing those words repeated, I felt so small. I’ve struggled for days deciding if I wanted to acknowledge her life and death. I believe every one deserves acknowledgment at death. I hope my grandmother […]

Child Abuse

The face of child abuse * Mother’s Message To Her Child *

February 21, 2016 20 Comments

Original post 1/2015 I found photos of myself starting at birth. As I looked at each photo my mind was asking who could hit this child. I began to sob, continuing to look at each as I grew older. The question who could hit this child growing louder in my head. People who don’t know me are probably thinking I […]

Bipolar Disorder

What’s Love Got To Do With It?

February 21, 2016 23 Comments

Original post 5/2014 We do things for people we love not for those who do not deserve love. I woke today with a tug, my introspective mood. I save difficult post for days like this. It’s not depression or sadness more logical than emotional. Dissociation is a conversation my therapist and I have talked about for 15 years. When I talk about child abuse at the hands of my mother and stepfather my mood is flat. One of the ways I survived was putting each memory in a box to deal with later. After awhile some memories fade. Other’s are yearly reminders. My mother still sends Birthday and Christmas cards. About 15 years ago she sent a Birthday card triggering the last blow. She basically said “I’m not the only person with problems get over it.” Nothing ever changes, everything is about her. I had not thought about my mother yet would send thank you notes for Christmas gifts. I didn’t think about it, just on auto pilot. This Birthday card was different, it pissed me off almost to almost losing it which I rarely do. I took the card to my next therapy appointment. I sit down and Diane knew something was very wrong. I handed her the card and the inscription written in the book. Diane was a cool therapist, she knew me well. She could tell the anger was building and ask what was my next step. I […]

Abuse

Good Times Gone Bad

February 21, 2016 13 Comments

I started Looking for the Light on 2-22-2014, exactly 22 years after my father’s suicide. Every year on the date, my emotions/logic are so conflicted. I stopped drinking years ago but every year I get drunk, my coping mechanism. I thought my dad was cool as a child and we had lots of fun. My father had no clue how to parent, it was scream or give in. My brother and I where seeing my father every two weeks. My father (married) had a girlfriend and liked to party, 8:00 p.m. on Saturday nights he would head out. We were left with our step mother and step brother. It was boring for me. I remember the weekend well. I got dressed, put on my stepmother’s make up and said I’m going with you. He said no at first but it was the well ask me again type of no. I said I had to get out of the house. I’m 9 years old but I looked older, not that much older. I received a lot of attention from the guys and it made me feel good. It made me feel pretty, when I got older the memories screwed up my view of relationships. Being the life of the party was great. I know there were several men who would have slept with me if I’d let them. My dad had one club he liked, I became a regular. He would find a couple of […]

Alcohol

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY 1940-1992 A Daughters Elvis Tribute

February 21, 2016 14 Comments

Original post 8/2014 Elvis Presley had a lifetime fan in my father. I remember playing his Elvis records at 4 yrs. old. Jumping on my friends pink canopy bed with hair brushes belting out Jailhouse Rock. After the divorce Daddy would visit driving to a mom & pop store, we’d get bottles of RC Cola, sitting in-car belting out to the radio. We had to drink in the parking lot because the bottles required a deposit, after finished daddy would take back for the deposit. I think it was a dime. My father was one of my abusers, I have few good memories, they’re cherished. I forgave my father, choose to focus on this nugget. My father was mentally ill, committing suicide in 1992. Abuse complicates grieving, warm tears roll down as I write. Tears for my grandmothers pain and the years I didn’t have a father. He was reading the Book of Job during his last struggle, the last moments between him and God. To daddy

Alcohol

Crazy Throw Back Tuesday on a Pony

February 21, 2016 3 Comments

Original post 5/2014 My mother was physically abusing me at 2 years old, actually started around 6 months old. She would grab me by the arm and dig her nails in on the underside. Nobody could see that way. I learned early how to smile to cover the pain. How could anyone hit this child

Abuse

D I V O R C E

February 21, 2016 10 Comments

Original post 5/2014 It was a normal Sunday like any other. I’m 6 and my brother was 3 1/2 years old, my mother was taking us to the lake. We never went to the lake, I began to get excited about playing in the water. I also grew concerned, what did she have on her mind. Even at 6 years old I knew she always had an agenda.We pulled up to the picnic tables on the far side of lake, nowhere near the water. She tells my brother and me that our parents are getting a divorce. Not understanding what it meant I ask her to spell it for me. I kept repeating the spelling in my head so I could ask my friend. I would find out sooner than later. Gramps truck was overflowing my father’s belongings. They were driving off as we rounded the corner. Their relationship went from bad to hell on earth. My mother took every chance to tell us how much she hated him. She married within six months his name was R known as (Nazi & Lucifer). He was her supervisor at work and could get her the white picket fence. We moved into a new house with a big back yard, things looked so normal on the outside. If people only knew the carnage on the inside. Custody was a nightmare, daddy would bring us home and she would throw things at him. One time […]

Alcohol

Andy Warhol’s “So Sweet” Live For Today

February 21, 2016 3 Comments

Original post 5/2014 I had to buy this Warhol because it was the complete opposite of my childhood. I saw the happy little girl and thought about me in kindergarten. She’s carrying a bag of candy and a good report card, again not me. What makes it so special is my mother told me I was stupid all the time. I began to believe her. You look in the corner and see “So Smart”, words I love to hear. I wasn’t stupid, just carrying a heavy load. No kindergartener can handle the burden of that secret. Warrior

Child Abuse

Mother leaves 8 year old at county hospital

February 21, 2016 11 Comments

Original post 6/2014 It’s interesting the events our mind suppresses or forgets. I have no emotion talking about the physical and emotional abuse at the hands of my mother and step father. I have disassociated memories of sexual abuse by my father. I know it. My therapist and I have talked about it, she doesn’t push and knows if the door opens I’ll talk. What I will not do is force my mind and body to endure pain it’s not ready for. I have a good perspective on what I’ve survived and the methods our mind uses to deal with our deepest pain. I’m not sure if this particular memory was forgotten or suppressed. I had no emotion as my therapist was almost brought to tears. I saw a story on the news about a 8-year-old girl tortured by her parents in some way. I don’t recall the circumstances. I always plan what I want to talk about but this day was different. I sat down and the memory of the little girl crossed my mind. I asked her if she had heard the story then adding my thoughts. I started to cry which I do easily for others in pain. As we talked about what type of parent would do that, a childhood memory flooded over me. The tears dried and it was if I was talking about someone else. When I was 8 years old I started having […]

Alcohol

Do you know me at all?

February 21, 2016 4 Comments

Original post 3/2014 It’s been an emotional month with thoughts of my father’s suicide and writing about him for the first time. I never grieved my father, the emotions caught me by surprise. It’s been very confusing because my father was one of my abusers. I am having health issues which is stressful. The Black Dog has come to see […]

Mental Illness

Brother witnessed Child Abuse of only sister * Everybody Hurts*

February 21, 2016 2 Comments

Original post 3/2014 Everyone suffers in an abusive environment. Our house was always in chaos. An alcoholic stepfather who abused my mother and a mother who abused her daughter. There were three other children in the house who saw the abuse, heard the screams and threats. I used to think the victim was the only person with scars. At 9 years old I survived almost daily beatings by taking drugs, plenty of alcohol and trying to kill myself. It never occurred to me my brother suffered from witnessing the abuse. My brother’s scars are from seeing our stepfather beat our mother. Dragging her down the hall beating her head from side to side. Putting a knife to her throat saying he would kill her. Most of their fights ending in front of our bedrooms. We had front row seats to hell. My mother abused me, the methods escalated as I aged. I heard stories of abuse as early as six months old. I don’t think my mother was trying to kill me. She’s like the women on the news who allow their kids to die. She didn’t push my head under the water but would have crocodile tears if I drowned accidentally. One weekend driving back from Houston we passed the exit to my mother’s house. I had strong emotions about my brother not me. I didn’t understand the emotions. It hit me like a train, my brother was not physically […]

Alcohol

Nine years old living in Hell

February 21, 2016 13 Comments

Original post 4/2014 My brother and I called our stepfather a Nazi because he was mostly German and he would beat our mother unmercifully. Her crimes as we knew were not having dinner ready or not warm enough. The kids were to loud, noise was not allowed in the house, he was an alcoholic with major control issues. I was 9 years old, my brother six & half years old and our two-step brothers where much younger. They came to live with us after Houston Social Services found my stepfather the better parent. Of the choices, he was. Their mother was a drug addict. He never saw the boys after the divorce. By the time they were in the court system, they had been left at home for up to two weeks with no food, nothing. The youngest in the same diaper. The youngest experienced trauma so severely he regressed to a baby. Her addiction took over her life for that matter she may have forgotten she had kids until she came down enough. I hated my stepfather from the beginning, he didn’t wait to start controlling everything. He rarely talked to my mother it was always yelling. It was very complicated for me. I hated my mother for abusing me but it still hurt when he beat her. We had a long hallway that passed our bedrooms. When he was out of control he would walk my mother down […]

Alcohol

I almost Killed my Father

February 21, 2016 10 Comments

Original post 4/2014 I’m writing the post with the outcome first. It made sense to me when reliving it. The tides turn It’s beyond comprehension why my probation officer saw hope in me. I gave her no reason, I had lost hope in myself, in life for that matter. I didn’t speak one word to her for seven months. I attended weekly meetings for possession of a handgun. I was a bad ass in my mind. I had to see a psychiatrist several times. I was smarter than my age at 12 years old. The psychiatrist asked me how many children I wanted. Without blinking I said none. “I wouldn’t take a chance on beating my children”. She said statics show abused people are less likely to abuse their children. I’d been sexually abused and beaten all my life. Stats meant nothing to me. The State wanted me in a boot camp type facility. My probation officer fought hard to find a less destructive facility. She felt a boot camp style would make me worse. She was right, I was wound very tight. If I can plan my father’s death what stops you from hurting a stranger. My grandmother knew about a convent that was for bad girls when she was younger. My probation officer Ruth Barrier agreed it was a better environment. I might reform in this setting. The down side, it cost $2,000 a month back in 1975 and my grandparents […]

Alcohol

Could you hit your child?

February 21, 2016 3 Comments

Original post 3/2014 Both of my parents and stepfather abused me. We’re not talking spanking, we’re talking banging your head into the wall. I am 100% for discipline, accountability and house rules. You see children who have involved parents and the childs demeanor. I see parents yelling at the child while grocery shopping, belittling them in front of strangers. What we can’t see is child abuse. Child abuse is a taboo topic for most. My mother physically and emotionally abused me. I never told anyone, not even close family. I walked on eggshells at home. My first attempt at suicide was at 9 years old. One morning I went to make breakfast and my mother told me I could not wear those jeans to school. This was the early 1970’s I was in 7th grade and probably argued with her. All the years my mother abused me, I never hit back. This morning was different. She started calling me a slut. She came to grab me and I hit her in the face. We were fighting and my stepfather walks in. Picture a 100 lbs. 12-year-old with braces getting hit in the mouth with a fist by of grown man. The inside of my mouth was bleeding from the braces breaking the skin. I had a bruise from nose to chin and some blackness around the eyes. I was not allowed to go to school for several days. When I returned most of the bruising […]

Abuse

Running to Stand Still

February 21, 2016 5 Comments

Original post from 3/2014 The song “Running to Stand Still” by U2 pierced my soul. I can’t explain the feeling. It describes my life in four simple words. I have fought most of my life to stay alive, many from my own bad choices. In the early sixties my parents met at a party. I don’t know if they dated […]

Bipolar Disorder

Throw Back Thursday Wild Child Days

February 17, 2016 11 Comments

Reading a post earlier brought back memories of my drug addicted wild child days. My boyfriend was a dealer so I did everything but a needle. Many scary times living with my father. I ran away, he pointing a 357 magnum at the friends he could find. Threatening to kill them if lying. Good thing he didn’t know I was crouched in the front passenger floorboard. I never forgot the music we were getting stoned to. LET’S ROCK AND ROLL Xx M

Advocacy

TED Talk: A Warriors Cry Against Child Marriage

October 24, 2015 5 Comments

It sickens me to think a girl of 12 yrs. old being forced to marry a much older man. Often times for money, parents sell their children. Kidnapping girls for the sex trade is hard to swallow. They are beaten, live in filth and forced to prostitute to make pimp money. It’s a growing issue we can advocate and support organizations working to change the situation. XO M

Advocacy

Help women and girls who have been kidnapped by ISIS * *الرجاء مساعدة الآن

August 28, 2015 15 Comments

Important Change.org Petition Petitioning President Barack Obama Help the women and girls from my home town who have been kidnapped by ISIS Feryal Pirali and Yazda, a Global Yazidi Organization. My name is Feryal. I live in Lincoln, Nebraska, but I grew up in a small town in Iraq called Sinjar. Last August, ISIS kidnapped thousands of women and girls from my hometown. For a year, ISIS has tortured and raped them. Many are teenagers just like me. Please urge President Obama to help save 3,200 women and children from my community — some as young as 11 — who were captured by ISIS, and have been raped and tortured for the past year. I and my family are part of the Yazidi, an ancient religious minority who live mostly in Northern Iraq. Because the Yazidi are not Muslim, ISIS extremists want us exterminated. I and my parents were able to escape, but most of my friends and family couldn’t. I think constantly about the girls my age who I was friends with growing up, who are now being raped every day by ISIS extremists. They can be saved. In fact, 1,800 have escaped or been rescued — but there are still 3,200 Yazidi women and children being held by ISIS. The Yazidi and the local government in Iraq want to rescue them too, but they don’t have the resources they need to get them out. If the United States […]

Advocacy

Leaving a Dog in a hot vehicle is potentially deadly

August 27, 2015 5 Comments

Melinda – There’s a new petition taking off on Change.org, and we think you might be interested in signing it. From one animal lover to another, don’t leave your animals in a hot car. Shaggy agrees. XO Melinda Petitioning Target Quit letting dogs suffer in hot cars. Petition by Kimberly Carrier Minneapolis, Minnesota It is truly distressing to see a […]

Advocacy

When Does RAPE Become RAPE? You Might Be Surprised

August 11, 2015 22 Comments

At nine years old my brother was my buddy. If someone was my brothers friend, they were mine. I was a tomboy and all my girlfriends lived to far away to play after school. Our gang of misfits would walk the creek nearby, play football, ride bikes, the normal kid activities. Walking home from school I noticed a couple of friends. One invited me in to the house, he had something to show me. Several other guys were in foyer. I didn’t think anything about the numbers of people there, I just wanted to see what he had. He already owned a crocodile, I was thinking what can top that. Before I could blink, guys were holding me down, ripping my clothes off, being choked. Every one violated me. I was crying and screaming for help as they choked and hit me. I cried as they touched and hurt me. Begging to let me go, when I was let go my mind was whirling, confused and body in pain. At nine years old I didn’t know about rape. I knew what they did was wrong. I had no one to tell. I aged a couple of years and realized that was gang rape. I was not a willing participant and not allowed to leave. I was held down, clothes ripping off, touching and kissing me. Each one put their fingers inside me, forced their penis down my throat. Every violation […]

Advocacy

President Jimmy Carter *Believes the mistreatment of Woman is the #1 Human Rights Abuse

July 13, 2015 4 Comments

XO M

Advocacy

Care of the Adult Patient after Sexual Assault NEJM Report

July 10, 2015 1 Comment

New England Journal of Medicine Care of the Adult Patient after Sexual Assault Judith A. Linden, M.D. N Engl J Med 2011; 365:834-841 September 1, 2011DOI: 10.1056/NEJMcp1102869 This Journal feature begins with a case vignette highlighting a common clinical problem. Evidence supporting various strategies is then presented, followed by a review of formal guidelines, when they exist. The article ends with the author’s clinical recommendations. The author, Judith A. Linden, M.D. has written one of the most comprehensive medical reports on the care needed after Sexual Assault. The report is quite long, I’ve included the link. www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMcp1102869 If interested in receiving their newsletter www.nejm.org XO M

Men & Womens Health

We Must Partner With Doctor's In Managing Our Illness & Prescriptions

June 22, 2015 5 Comments

Face to Face time with doctors is shrinking as payments from insurance companies are further reduced. No longer are the Patient Consumer Information pamphlets included with prescriptions from manufactures, they cost money. The medication information we receive from pharmacies is a cover your ass view of a few possible side effects. Doctors work on reduced rates leaving no choice but see more patients. I believe we are due the information to manage out health properly. What do I mean by managing our health properly? We have to take responsibility to gather information the doctor doesn’t have time to give. If lucky doctors allow 15 minutes per patient. How much information can you get in that amount of time. Especially if its a new or complex illness. We are our best advocates, we have to hold doctors accountable for the information we need. It is our responsibility to understand our illnesses and medications. Doctors do not have all the answers. You have to clarify communication, don’t get caught up in “it’s the doctor’s responsibility”, wrong. Two people are in the equation and you’re the sick one. These steps may help the journey to survival and beyond. Critical to getting well is seeing the right type of doctor. A medical doctor is not a mental health specialist, has no business dispensing RX’s. Get a referral , if not you’re a trail and error for what they think will work. Not always in you best interest. […]

Advocacy

No More Excuses Provides Weekly Update * Truth From The Media? *

June 9, 2015 12 Comments

NO MORE EXCUSES No More publishes weekly updates allowing us to hear “The Rest of the Story”. Information we may not know, the good, bad and ugly. The Joyful Heart Foundation started No More Excuses which focuses on Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault. No More educates, advocates and lobby’s for Survivors Human Rights. Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault are two hot issues. I walk away asking did the media share the news? Was the news common knowledge among a certain crowd? The Joyful Heart Foundation and No More reminds me how little information the media includes in “The Story”. XO Warrior WHAT’S MAKING HEADLINES THIS WEEK? Ray McDonald’s 2nd Domestic Violence Arrest: Former Chicago Bears defensive end Ray McDonald has been arrested for domestic violence and child endangerment following an assault on a woman who was holding a baby early Monday morning at an apartment in California. This is McDonald’s second arrest for domestic violence charges. #ChicagoSaysNOMORE to McDonald: Following his arrest on Monday, the Chicago Bears terminated their contract with him, after making the controversial decision to sign him in late March. Bears guard Kyle Long tweets “Good riddance” to his former teammate. Josh Duggar, star of the TLC reality show 19 Kids and Counting, admitted to sexually abusing at least five girls when he was 15 years old. While his parents are calling the abuse “bad mistakes” that Josh made as a “young teenager,” we’re saying #NOMOREexcuses: the sexual abuse of young girls […]

Female Genital Mutilation

Forced Sex Camps Train Girls for Child Marriage Women and Children Have Rights

May 26, 2015 3 Comments

Forced Sex Camps Train Girls For Child Marriage In Zambia And Mozambique Reuters By Emma Batha CASABLANCA, May 21 (Thomson Reuters Foundation) – Girls as young as eight in Mozambique and Zambia are forced to go to camps where they are shown how to please a man in bed in order to prepare them for married life, activists said at an international conference on ending child marriage. These sexual initiations begin once menstruation starts and sometimes involve sticks being inserted inside the girls, Persilia Muianga of international aid agency World Vision said. She added that some mothers force young daughters to sleep with a man in the belief this can bring on menstruation. Anglican priest Jackson Jones Katete said initiations in Zambia happen among girls between the ages of eight and 13, and may involve girls being cut by women for not performing sexual movements correctly. “You … pay these (elderly) women to do this torturing to your child,” he said, adding that men do not want to marry girls unless they have been initiated. “Immediately the girls come out of the camp, they are saying … you are now ready for sex. And then the men come … and then they begin to do the betrothals.” The training, which can last a week and is shrouded in secrecy, also teaches girls about hygiene, domestic duties and how to conduct themselves in the community, Muianga said, adding that community leaders […]

Advocacy

No Justice for Darren Rainey's death by two prison guards…Prison Reform Now

May 2, 2015 1 Comment

Change.org Update on Prison Reform Bill and Darren Rainey’s death. Steven Wetstein Miami, FL Apr 22, 2015 — Friends, I’m passing on a message from a George Mallinkcrodt, a member of Stop Prison Abuse Now who has advocated constantly for prison reform by speaking to Department of Corrections Secretary Julie Jones, to each legislator, and by testifying at legislative hearings, all in the search for justice for Darren Rainey. We’ll be contacting you in the coming days as legislation on prison reform faces further votes. Many thanks to you all. Thanks, Steve Wetstein A Message From George Mallinckrodt: For those who don’t know, I worked as a psychotherapist in the psychiatric ward where Darren Rainey was killed by guards. Since I came forward in a Miami Herald story in May 2014, I’ve been active as a full-time human rights activist and an advocate for the humane treatment of inmates in the Florida Department of Corrections. I’d like to personally thank all who have signed Darren Rainey’s petition. June 23rd will be the three year anniversary of his death – still no arrests or coroners’ report. Be assured, we’re not giving up. Of immediate concern is the passage of a meaningful prison reform bill by Florida lawmakers. Another thanks goes out to people who’ve called or emailed legislators. I’ve sent key Senators and Representatives suggestions that I posted on my blog. Please keep contacting them. http://www.georgemallinckrodt.com/blog.htm No matter what happens in […]

Moving Forward

Throw Back Thursday * Triple Shot Best of Best U2 *

April 29, 2015 17 Comments

I look at the global influence of U2 today, it’s hard to think of them as young choir boys. Bono’s strong religious beliefs shine thru many top hits. Moment of Surrender grabs me not wanting to let go. Grab a relaxing chair, sip your drink till fill some warmth. Get ready rock, Then come down slowly with Moments of Surrender. I hope you enjoy the tunes and have great weekend. XO Warrior

Sexual Abuse

Chilling look at sex trafficking in America

April 4, 2015 21 Comments

My heart aches for the families torn apart by sex trafficking. I pray the dedication of law enforcement ends the abuse of young girls.

Rape

Biden Talks About Rape Kit Initiative the Sexual Assault Kit Initiative (SAKI)

April 2, 2015 1 Comment

RAINN UPDATE (March 19, 2015) — “Testing rape kits should be an absolute priority for the United States,” declared Vice President Joe Biden after touring a Maryland State Police crime lab responsible for analyzing evidence for crimes of sexual assault. Biden was in Baltimore to draw attention to the Sexual Assault Kit Initiative (SAKI), which will award up to $24 million to local law enforcement agencies working to test rape kits and investigate open cases. President Obama’s Fiscal Year 2016 budget proposal also includes $20 million for backlog-related research at the Justice Department, and $105 million for reducing the DN A backlog and related purposes. Rebecca O’Connor, RAINN vice president for public policy, and Smith have been lobbying Congress to communicate the importance of not cutting funding. “At a time when the national spotlight is trained on the rape kit backlog and efforts to move more rape kits from law enforcement evidence rooms to public crime labs for testing, it’s imperative that Congress provide at least level funding for this critical program.” Sen. Barbara Mikulski (D-MD), who joined Biden, urged the public to remember that “behind every kit, there’s a victim, and behind every victim there’s a predator. When you get a predator off the street, you not only do justice to the victim, but [prevent “future crimes].” Mikulski is the top Democrat on the Senate Appropriations Committee. Rape survivors Debbie Smith, after whom the primary federal DNA law is […]

Rape

RAPE IS NOT OK Petitioning Mary Fallin Hear Oklahoma House Bill 1362

April 2, 2015 1 Comment

Change.org Petetition https://www.change.org/p/mary-fallin-hear-oklahoma-house-bill-1362 We are a group of mothers, fathers, students, and concerned citizens in Oklahoma. We urgently need your help to make sure that a crucial bill to help stop the rape and victimization of young girls in our state is heard in the Oklahoma State House. HB 1362 is a vital bill that will make sure that victims have support, that school officials are trained to handle these situations, and that our students are effectively taught about consent and proper boundaries. It is essential that this bill is passed, not just for the safety of Oklahoma’s students, but also as a signal to the rest of the country that this type of legislation is needed to protect all of our young people. House Bill 1362 successfully made it out of the Common Education Committee on Tuesday, February 24th — but now the real fight begins. The next step is a vote on the house floor, and if the bill is voted down it will be two more years before this essential legislation can be reintroduced. Last fall, we organized the group Yes All Daughters after three teenage girls in our hometown of Norman, OK were raped by the same classmate and then bullied out of school after they reported their assaults.We organized a peaceful protest and the school district responded by creating a task force to address issues related to victimization and bullying. The perpetrator was arrested following […]

Domestic Violence

Vote for stronger punishment against Domestic Violence in South Carolina–Pass Bill S3

April 1, 2015 1 Comment

Change.org Petition https://www.change.org/p/south-carolina-state-senate-take-action-to-save-victims-of-domestic-violence? Vote for stronger punishment against Domestic Violence in South Carolina My name is Melissa Davis Walker, I am a survivor of domestic violence and I am tired of living in a state with the highest rate of domestic violence in the country. We need laws that protect victims from the people that abuse them. Currently, the laws are failing victims and they make little sense. First time offenses hold a 30 day sentence. But if you beat a dog, you could get up to 5 years. Tell Governor Nikki Haley and the South Carolina legislature that victims deserve stronger laws that protect them from the threat of domestic violence, pass Bill S3. For 13 years, my five children and I lived in fear. My husband threatened, beat and choked me for the duration of our marriage, and I felt like the law couldn’t protect me. It was only when my son bravely confided in a school official after my husband pointed a loaded shotgun at his head, that we finally got the legal support we needed to put him behind bars. If he had only been charged for attacking me, he would be walking free today, and I might not be here to tell my story. South Carolina is ground zero in the domestic violence fight. The toll of domestic violence is especially high on women. The state has the highest rate of female murders […]

Change.org

Don't allow our daughter to be segregated because of her Down Syndrome

April 1, 2015 1 Comment

Change.org Petition Petitioning Andrew Eulass, Michelle Gallo, Dr. Paul Gordon Don’t allow our daughter to be segregated because of her Down Syndrome The first thing you might notice about our daughter Hiba is that she has Down syndrome. But to those who know her, Hiba is a beautiful, intelligent, and compassionate 9-year-old. She loves math and her favorite show is “Doc McStuffins.” If you ask Hiba what she wants to be when she grows up, she will tell you “a doctor.” This is not surprising considering how much she loves helping people. As her parents, we see a child with all the potential of any other child. Unfortunately, her school system has kept Hiba segregated from other students and it has taken its toll on her education and spirit. All they seem to see is a child with Down syndrome. Down syndrome does not define our daughter. We are asking Glen Ellyn School District 41 to allow Hiba her legal right to be fully integrated and allowed to learn alongside “typical” students at Churchill Elementary. For the past 5 years, Hiba’s education has been spent in isolated, 1-on-1 settings. It has been painful to watch Hiba not be responsive to this education approach. She has become depressed, withdrawn, and as a result, hasn’t performed well in her studies. Hiba knows she is being treated differently and separated from the “normal” kids. Districts across the US have diversified the classroom to […]

Moving Forward

BRING BACK OUR CHIBOK GIRLS–ONE YEAR LATER

April 1, 2015 1 Comment

Please read the update on the Chibok, Nigerian girls. We are reaching the year mark of the 275 school girls being kidnapped by terrorist group BoKo Haram. Look in your heart to see how you can help. Thank you. PETITION UPDATE Our Chibok Girls – One Year Later Ify Elueze Bonn, Germany Mar 31, 2015 — On Tuesday, April 14, it’ll be one year since our Chibok Girls were abducted. Lend your voice so we can connect supporters of our Chibok Girls in different communities around the world for coördinated action. This is obviously a critical time in our advocacy to amplify our voices and remind the world that they are yet to be rescued. Our Chibok Girls have received support from ALL over the world and we need to harness all the support to build a powerful VOICE for them. Our girls NEED us to keep the pressure on. If you would like to participate in an event, host an event in your city, or would like to be connected with others, please fill in the form on the official BBOG Nigeria website – http://www.bbogfamily.ng Thank you. The BBOG Family On Tuesday, April 14, 2015, it’ll be one year since our Chibok Girls were abducted. Lend your voice so we can… HTTP://WWW.BBOGFAMILY.NG

Child Abuse

Guilt is the Shadow in the Mirror

February 21, 2015 22 Comments

All he said is your daddy has done away with himself. I screamed then said on the way. Calling right back to ask were they sure he’s dead? Yes. I think years of abuse left a permanent hole in my heart. I go there to do actions requiring no emotions. It’s like auto pilot, it has served me well. I started to think about work, who I needed to call. I’m driving with emergency lights on going 100 mph calling my work team. I stayed in auto pilot until I pulled up to my grandparents. Estranged since a teen, I thought it odd when he started calling. He sounded delusional and extremely paranoid. Nothing made sense, he was not talking in sentences. I pieced together he didn’t have any money and couldn’t work. Why he could not work must have come from the madness. I would do anything to avoid my granny being hurt. I paid his bills. Over the next several months the phone calls were my hell on earth. He would threaten to kill himself then go off on what didn’t sound like words. I couldn’t make out anything he was saying as he yelled in the phone. I would keep trying to redirect him back to our conversation. I did not tell anyone what daddy said. He was mentally ill. It had been years since we talked, maybe this was his norm. I didn’t know. Everyone sitting in […]

Caregiver

Thank you for making me the woman I am….Gramps I love you

February 13, 2015 14 Comments

1917-2010 XO All my love

Mental Illness

One huge step for mental health care and suicide prevention programs WP WE DID IT

February 6, 2015 1 Comment

CRITICAL UPDATE FROM NATIONAL ALLIANCE ON MENTAL ILLNESS (NAMI) The Clay Hunt SAV Act Passed! Thank Your Members of Congress! Thank you for your mental health advocacy! Thank you for contacting your Senators and Congressmen to make your voice heard. Thank you for your support of suicide prevention for our military and veterans community. Your phone calls, emails and tweets helped to pass the Clay Hunt Suicide Prevention for American Veterans (SAV) Act unanimously through both the Senate and the House. The bill is now on its way to be signed by President Obama. Among other things the Clay Hunt SAV Act requires an annual assessment of mental health care and suicide prevention programs at the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) and implements a pilot loan forgiveness program for psychiatrists that agree to serve in the VA. Please pass the thanks along to your Senators and Congressmen.

Moving Forward

Throw Back Thursday * Double Shot Bad Company With Paul Rogers*

February 5, 2015 17 Comments

I love Bad Company, another of my top fav bands. I can listen to Paul Rogers all day! Music was my escape from abuse. I have great memories, most not legal but quite fun. I associate music with times in my life and it holds true today. Time to take the shoes off, lean back in the chair, headphones on and let the music take you to a special place. XO Warrior

Survivor

Stalking Awareness: Spotlight On Marianne Bezaire * Marianne is a true Survivor*

February 3, 2015 1 Comment

If you’ve been stalked, you understand why the hair on my neck went up reading Marianne Bezaire’s nightmare. Starting in my late 20’s I was stalked for six years. The trauma on my family gut wrenching, we lived paralyzed by fear. At the time women being stalked received similar attitudes from some law enforcement agencies as rape survivors. XO Warrior 1 in 6 women – and 1 in 19 men – have experienced stalking at some point during their lifetime 66% of female stalking victims are stalked by someone they know 46% of stalking victims fear not knowing what will happen next 29% of stalking victims fear the stalking will never stop 1 in 8 employed victims lose time from work as a result of their victimization 1 in 7 stalking victims move as a result of their victimization* For survivor Marianne Bezaire, these aren’t just statistics – she experienced it all personally when an acquaintance became her rapist, and then her stalker. Marianne was drugged and sexually assaulted at a friend’s party. When she woke up the next morning and drove herself home, her attacker followed her and discovered where she lived. This was the beginning of an awful ordeal that involved the stalker breaking into her home, blackmailing her with information he found while reading her personal journals, hacking into her computer and email, and more. Marianne says she lived in fear of what he would do next, […]

Rape

RAINN National Update Silent No More, Make Your Voice Heard

February 3, 2015 1 Comment

RAPE, ABUSE & INCEST NATIONAL NETWORK=RAINN New Congress, New State Legislatures, Consistent Theme: Combating Sexual Assault (January 28, 2015) — With the start of the 114th Congress and, across the nation, new state legislative sessions underway, federal and state policymakers are pledging to make sexual violence a major focus of their work. “RAINN’s public policy team is currently working with hundreds of members of Congress and state legislators,” says Rebecca O’Connor, RAINN’s vice president for public policy. “We expect to see a lot of action from our best allies in Congress to advance ongoing priorities and new legislation.” O’Connor says there are three questions she’s been hearing frequently from legislators. 1. “How should schools handle sexual assault cases?” What is the role and responsibility of a college or university in the fight against sexual violence? What standards should apply to investigations, and when and how should law enforcement be involved? How can we best protect students from these crimes and support those who are victimized? These are just some of the questions in a debate that a White House Initiative elevated to the national level last year. “We’re working closely with federal lawmakers to shape legislation that will be re-introduced this session and is sure to once again make front-page news,” says O’Connor. 2. “What can be done to end the backlog of rape kits?” The secret is out: Untested rape kits are a national problem. While good progress has […]

Sexual Abuse

Covenant House Keeps Homeless Kids Off The Streets

January 29, 2015 8 Comments

Help us get homeless kids off the streets. Your action on Change showed sex trafficking victims that they are not alone. In fact, they have an important new ally. Some experts estimate that every year, 100,000 children — many of whom are homeless — are forced into prostitution in the United States. They have lived through unspeakable pain, and have nowhere and no one else. But they do have Covenant House… and now they have you. At Covenant House, we provide vital shelter and lifesaving support to every kid who shows up on our doorstep. Working in 27 cities across 6 countries, we reach tens of thousands of kids in need every year by getting them off the streets and into the safety of our shelters. How we reach homeless kids Raising community awareness Searching for kids in the most dangerous parts of town Creating change at the local, state & federal levels Visiting schools to promote prevention 36,154 kids were saved last year. Just like you, we believe that every kid deserves a safe place to live and the support and resources to build a future of love, hope and success — no matter who they are, where they’re from or what they’ve been through. In the coming months, our kids are going to need your support. Whether it’s helping to get legislation passed or making sure we’re prepared for extreme weather and other emergency situations, you can protect […]

Child Abuse

DA Fred Bright Responds To 14 year Old Charged With Prostitution

January 29, 2015 2 Comments

Response from DA Fred Bright April Childs Watkinsville, GA Jan 26, 2015 — Here is the response from DA Fred Bright concerning this case. “We fully recognize that the 14-year-old child involved is a victim. Our office does not arrest individuals and was not consulted about the case initially. From the time we first received this file, we expected no active prosecution against her and our only goal has been to obtain counseling, treatment, care, and protection, which she is now receiving. On December 1, 2014, we, along with the child and her lawyer requested, and the Juvenile Court Judge agreed and signed an order to hold her case in abeyance. That order means that her case is automatically dismissed upon successful completion of treatment, counseling, and care. These services will hopefully rehabilitate her so that she can get the help she needs. We have reviewed the matter and met with the law enforcement officers from the Georgia Bureau of Investigation and Eatonton Police Department who conducted the investigation. The State is prosecuting the adult defendants for statutory rape and related charges when appropriate. The cases against the adult offenders are expected to be presented to the next Grand Jury in Putnam County scheduled for March, 2015 for indictment. We hope these prosecutions will protect her and other youth of our communities in the future. Yesterday, I spoke to the Attorney General and his specialist in Human Trafficking, who will […]

Domestic Violence

New NO MORE PSA Running During Super Bowl This Sunday

January 29, 2015 1 Comment

NO MORE Friend, It’s only been a couple days since we shared the exciting news that a new NO MORE PSA is running during the Super Bowl this Su‌nday, and there’s already been a huge positive response. “How can I help?” This is probably the question YOU’RE going to get while you’re watching the game on Sunday, so we thought we’d send along a few quick tips to help you speak up about these issues and provide you with ways you can help loved ones affected by domestic violence or sexual assault. Tip #1. Start a conversation by telling your friends that 1 in 3 women and 1 in 7 men have experienced domestic violence, and 1 in 5 women and 1 in 16 men have experienced sexual assault at some point in their lifetime. This is a great way to get the point across that these issues are serious and that many people we love have been affected by domestic and sexual violence. (If your friends want to read more about these statistics, you can point them here: Avon’s 2013 NO MORE Study.) Tip #2. Speak up when you hear offensive comments that degrade women, men, or victims of abuse. Hey, it’s a Super Bowl party — there’s a good chance that someone is going to make some inappropriate remarks. The best thing you can do is speak up and tell them that you’re not comfortable with that kind […]

Child Abuse

Mother leaves 8 year old at county hospital Reposted from June 2014

January 24, 2015 10 Comments

It’s interesting the events our mind suppresses or forgets. I have no problem or emotion talking about the physical and emotional abuse at the hands of my mother and step father. I have disassociated memories of sexual abuse by my father. I know it. My therapist and I have talked about it, she doesn’t push and knows if the door opens I’ll talk. What I will not do is force my mind and body to endure pain it’s not ready for. I have a good perspective on what I’ve survived and the methods our mind uses to deal with our deepest pain. I’m not sure if this particular memory was forgotten or suppressed. I had no emotion as my therapist was almost brought to tears. I saw a story on the news about a 8-year-old girl tortured by her parents in some way. I don’t recall the circumstances. I always plan what I want to talk about but this day was different. I sat down and the memory of the little girl crossed my mind. I asked her if she had heard the story then adding my thoughts. I started to cry which I do easily for others in pain. As we talked about what type of parent would do that, a childhood memory flooded over me. The tears dried and it was if I was talking about someone else. When I was 8 years old I started having terrible […]

Child Abuse

14 year old prostitute needs help not prison Please sign Change.org Petition

January 22, 2015 6 Comments

change.org Don’t Charge Victim Of Child Abuse Petitioner April Childs Watkinsville, GA Earlier this month, Georgia Police busted a prostitution ring involving 11 men and a 14-year-old girl. Not only do they plan to prosecute the child predators, but they have charged the 14-year-old victim with prostitution as well. Sixteen is the age of sexual consent in Georgia. District Attorney Fred Bright is charging a statutory rape victim with a crime she’s not legally old enough to commit. Help me tell him child prostitution victims need help, not prison. My name is April Childs. I am a parent and Georgian, and I work as a forensic interviewer of children. My job entails interviewing victims of child abuse and sexual assault. I can take their testimony and transmit it to prosecutors so the victims don’t have to endure the stress and humiliation of taking the stand and seeing their accuser. I have worked with more than 500 children and helped them tell their story to officials so their abusers could be duly prosecuted. That’s why I was so shocked when I heard about Chief Kent Lawrence and District Attorney’s Bright’s plan to charge this young girl with prostitution, further victimizing her and punishing her for an act she couldn’t have legally consented to. What the Ocmulgee Judicial Circuitplans to do with this young girl goes against any legal, therapeutic or even common sense protocol. The law–both federal and state–recognizes that children do […]

Music

Throw Back Thursday * Smooth International Jam with Sting *

January 21, 2015 1 Comment

I’m a huge Sting fan. Hope you enjoy the selection this week. Happy Thursday. XO Warrior

Domestic Violence

Open Your Top Drawer And Heart To Support Domestic Violence Shelters

January 9, 2015 4 Comments

Soma Intimates and the National Network to End Domestic Violence are partnering during the Soma Bra Donation event. From January 8th thru February 4th Soma stores are collecting bras with the goal of collecting one million bras. Bras are the most needed yet least donated item of clothing for women. All bras collected will benefit your local domestic violence shelter. To get more information visit soma.com/givebras XO Warrior

Survivor

What can we learn from Alaska's law on Domestic Violence……

December 12, 2014 26 Comments

I flipped to the National Geographic channel to find Alaska State Troopers one day. Watching was a blessing. The show opened my eyes to ending domestic violence. Ending domestic violence is happening now, not somewhere in the future. We have to raise our voices louder and demand the same protection for all abused in other states. Below are notes taken while watching several episodes. Fairbanks, Alaska has the highest number of domestic violence cases in the America. Domestic violence calls dispatch to Troopers as top priority status. Everyone on scene interviewed, once established as domestic violence case, it’s an automatic assault charge and trip to jail. Other charges will follow based on situation. This is a very condensed version of what I watched: A fight escalates, the female screaming loudly to get out of house. Punched multiple times, raped and once outside pulled by the hair back into house. When police arrive she’s in front yard in bra and panties, visible marks of being hit in face, crying and trying to convince police nothing happened. Troopers receive education on domestic violence behavior. One officer goes in to house with gun drawn. The second keeps lightly pushing, why is she in the front yard in her bra and panties with visible marks to her face. The male taken to side of house, interviewed, handcuffed and lead to car. Officer’s provide jacket to cover herself and support, she tells what happened leaving out being raped. Her disheveled appearance tips one […]

Survivor

The Journey Of Life……

December 7, 2014 7 Comments

“There are no wrong turns, only unexpected paths” Mark Nepo

Survivor

Throw Back Thursday Sit back relax, let the music take you there…

November 27, 2014 8 Comments

Happy Thursday XO Warrior

Survivor

"Help me, I don't know if I'll be alive tomorrow" Trigger Warning

November 17, 2014 21 Comments

By sharing photos of one woman’s face over the course of a year, this video conveys a powerful message that needs to be shared. “One photo a day in the worst year of my life” was created by the Croatian government in response to a danger that many women across the globe live with every day. The harrowing message is made even more impactful by the sign the woman holds up at the end. It reads, “Help me, I don’t know if I will be alive tomorrow”. I applaud the Croatian Government for taking a stand of Domestic Violence. A special thanks to Heather at The Starting End. XO Warrior Warning: the video contains graphic images towards the end. http://www.reshareworthy.com/one-photo-a-day-for-one-year

Bullying

Not Your Typical Throw Back Thursday It's all about Respect, Respect, Respect Yourself

October 29, 2014 25 Comments

Respect….easy to see when and when not. I would love to hear your opinion, yes, the good, bad and ugly. Throw it at me. XO Warrior

Child Abuse

Throw Back Thursday Pink Floyd, The Allman Brothers and American Indians A Strong Message of Survival

October 23, 2014 12 Comments

The Pink Floyd video brings thoughts, dreams and surviving to mind. I fly in my dreams and have for as long as I can remember. Watching the guy get the courage to fly is like our internal struggle to survive. Survivors continue to battle the struggle, the difference is they have learned to fly. The other message not lost on me is the American Indian appearing, building his confidence to fly. I am Cherokee and would have liked to fight their battles. Everyone has a story. If you are lacking confidence to jump the last hurdle, you’re in good company. Survivors dedicate themselves to helping you fly. There’s a line in Seven Turns on the Highway, Love Is All That Remains The Same. It reminds me the journey never ends, we have to keep living. By living we are going to hit unexpected turns. When we have the right people in our life, they take the journey with us. Surviving is a life long learning experience. Personally I love watching the American Indians dance, wondering what the dance means. XO Warrior

Child Abuse

Throw Back Thursday Dedicated to Survivors You are Worthy

October 16, 2014 4 Comments

As my illness progresses many have offered kind words of support and prayers. Thank you for filling my heart with hope and friendship. I’ve met many survivors, the words take on a new meaning to me. I heard the words in the past but didn’t hear them. Dedicated to survivors. You Are Worthy.

Change.org

British Iranian Ghoncheh Ghavami Held In Solitary Confinement in Tehran For Attending World League Volleyball MatchIran Has To Make Next Move

October 1, 2014 4 Comments

CHANGE.ORG https://www.change.org/p/david-cameron-hassanrouhani-bring-my-sister-home-freeghonchehghavami#share @David_Cameron + @HassanRouhani Bring my sister home #FreeGhonchehGhavami Iman Ghavami London, United Kingdom Since June 2014 my younger sister is in solitary confinement in Tehran. She was arrested for going to a men’s volleyball match. Ghoncheh is a British Iranian dual citizen. She was there to watch a game. She was arrested because of a misunderstanding. Amnesty International has called for an Urgent Action for my sister. Amnesty believes Ghoncheh has been put under psychological pressure and been told she “would not walk out of prison alive.” The Foreign and Commonwealth Office has said it was “aware of reports” of her imprisonment but its diplomatic powers are limited in Iran. We know that the UK Government has the power to do more to help Ghoncheh. Past cases have shown us that when pressure is applied Government will take more action. Every signature and share will bring my sister closer to home. Will you help end this nightmare for my family? —————— خواهر کوچکترم از نهم تیر در انفرادی به سر‌می‌برد. غنچه به خاطر رفتن به ورزشگاه والیبال دستگیر شد غنچه به آن جا رفته بود تا بازی را تماشا کند. دستگیری او یک سوتفاهم است با امضای این نامه به من کمک کنید تا خواهرم را دوباره به خانه برگردانم —————— I’m a distressed brother who is fighting to bring her sister home. My sister is a law student in University of London. She should not have been […]

Change.org

Important Update Or Lack There Of On Change.org PetitionLet's Send Our Collective WP Voice

September 3, 2014 Leave a Comment

Countless hours spent making phone calls and letter writing to Federal and State Officials have fallen on deaf ears. Overwhelming support has rallied behind Sgt. Andrew Tahmooressi petition yet more is needed. Please take a few minutes to read, sign and pass to all you know. We can turn the injustice around. The comments were taken from letter written by Pastor Rich Tidwell. Sgt. Andrew Tahmooressi, has been unjustly imprisoned in a Mexican federal prison for nearly 5 months on weapons charges after accidentally crossing the border with legally purchased U.S. registered weapons. Since his incarceration, I often find myself imagining what it must feel like languishing in a foreign high security prison, surrounded by unfamiliar faces, suffering from PTSD, malnourished, and unable to effectively communicate with others. Andrew’s plight should not be a burden carried alone as his treatment by Mexican officials demonstrates how any American could potentially be treated should one of us make a similar mistake. His sufferings could easily be shared by ourselves, our siblings, our families, our friends and our countrymen… a fearful thought to say the least. Furthermore, Sgt Andrew Tahmooressi is a decorated veteran, saving the lives of multiple Marines during combat. He is a man who has fought injustice on our behalf, actively securing our American liberties after volunteering to make the ultimate sacrifice should his nation need him to. He is a man worthy of our rescue and a man our nation […]

Bullying

Steubenville High School: Remove Convicted Rapist From Football TeamIs Football More Important Than Gang Rape?

September 3, 2014 6 Comments

TRIGGER WARNING: This petition pertains to the sexual assault of a minor. “I feel that he’s earned a second chance.” That’s what Steubenville High football coach Reno Saccoccia has to say about his decision to welcome convicted rapist Ma’lik Richmond back to his team. The facts of the Steubenville rape case in 2012 were already horrendous. A teenage girl was repeatedly and publicly sexually assaulted by boys on her school’s football team. Pictures and video were taken and the victim was shamed on social media. Coach Reno Saccoccia allegedly tried to cover up the crime and continued to let the perpetrators play on the team even after it became clear that they had committed these acts. This case was a clear-cut instance of rape culture, where a community prioritized the success and protection of its football team, and dismissed incidences of rape under the guise of ‘boys will be boys.’ Now, Ma’lik Richmond – who was found guilty of raping a minor while she was unconscious – is out of jail and and Coach Saccoccia has put him right back on the Big Red football team. While he was never charged with attempting to cover up the crime it’s clear that Saccoccia still doesn’t understand the seriousness of his players’ crimes. In his words: “[Richmond’s] one of 55 players that are in good standing with their teammates and their coaches.” This cannot be tolerated. We as a nation are tired […]

Change.org

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell Announced The New Policy For Players Who Commit Domestic Violence VICTORY

September 3, 2014 1 Comment

This is an update to Change.org petition to Stop Violence Against Women, from woman who started petition. Victory Today NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell announced a shift in the NFL’s policy regarding the punishment of players who commit domestic violence. Players will be suspended for six games for the first offense and indefinitely for a second offense. I’m thrilled that the NFL listened to the fans and I’d like to thank everyone who signed my petition and all of the journalists who continued to follow this story. The NFL has finally taken real action on domestic violence and it’s because we stood together and said this simply isn’t acceptable anymore. This is a huge moment of recognition for survivors and their advocates and it came about because of people like you who were willing to take a stand. Thank you for using your voice to make change. We at WordPress must leverage the NFL’s decision to make our voice heard on all petitions regarding Violence Against Women. The NFL is setting the tone for change. Please go directly to Change.org and look under Domestic Violence to see active petitions. I will keep you informed as they roll across my desk. So proud to stand shoulder to shoulder with you. M

Female Genital Mutilation

Update on Change.org Petition To Stop Female Genital Mutilation (FMG) in America First Victory

August 28, 2014 3 Comments

This petition disturbed many bloggers. Alarming the community to learn the practice of Female Genital Mutilation (FMG) was happening in America. I find the savage practice disturbing for any female in any country. Please sign if you haven’t already and send to everyone you know. Thank you. M First Victory Over the past few months, more than 220,000 of you have signed this petition, urging the American government to end the practice of female genital mutilation (FGM) in the United States, and commission a prevalence report on FGM’s impact on women and girls. https://www.change.org/p/end-fgm-now-protect-girls-from-getting-cut-and-support-victims-of-female-genital-mutilation-in-the-usa

Change.org

Psychiatric Prisoner Dies After Being LOCKED IN SHOWER FOR TWO HOURS AT WHAT TEMPERATURE? Graphic

August 28, 2014 18 Comments

Important Change.org Petition It’s not unusual for me to get jacked up reading the news or having a few choice words on the subject. Blowing a F@#&* gasket with my stomach rolling in disgust is unusual. It’s unacceptable no one was held accountable in this horrific crime. Two men responsible for Psychiatric prisoners killed man by locking him in the shower for two hours. The water temperature was 180 degrees. How does someone decide to torture a Mentally Ill man to death? Two people ignored his screams of pain, ignored as he begged for his life. After he was dead another prisoner had to clean the shower. The details to graphic for me to write. The inmate cleaning the shower will have horrific images to scar him for life. Their actions are deplorable. I can’t stop thinking of the family’s grief and anger. I hope you’re mad as hell, disgusted and ready to hold the prison and two workers accountable for their actions. Please sign the petition asking for justice and pass to everyone you know. We can’t accept abuse on any level Mentally Ill or not. If we do nothing, we lose civility. Thank you. M Petitioning Attorney General Eric Holder Investigate the 2012 death of Mr. Darren Rainey, a mentally ill Florida prisoner who died after prison guards locked him into a 180-degree shower. https://www.change.org/p/attorney-general-eric-holder-investigate-the-2012-death-of-mr-darren-rainey-a-mentally-ill-florida-prisoner-who-died-after-prison-guards-locked-him-into-a-180-degree-shower On June 23, 2012 Darren Rainey, a 50-year-old mentally ill state prison inmate in Miami-Dade County, […]

Change.org

Important Change.org Petitions Need Your Support Violence Against Women

August 28, 2014 Leave a Comment

I only post petitions from Change.org that really disturb me. I feel strongly you want to see the injustice and take part in forging change. There are so many in my e-mail I can’t do individual post for each. I’m asking you to click on the links below or go directly to http://www.change.org to check currents petitions. Sign up for direct notices if you like. There are many opportunities to make your voice heard. One signature can make a difference. I will post an update on petitions which have seen victory and positive change. We have to make our collective voice heard, violence is not acceptable and people will be accountable for their actions with proper penalties. M Violence Against Women NFL must update policy against violencee. https://www.change.org/p/roger-goodell-nflcommish-set-consistent-punishment-guidelines-for-nfl-players-who-commit-violence-against-women High School Violence Against Women https://www.change.org/p/steubenville-high-school-remove-convicted-rapist-from-big-red-football-team End Teen Dating Violence https://www.change.org/p/south-carolina-state-senate-pass-sierra-s-law-to-end-teen-dating-violence-in-south-carolina

Child Abuse

Memories of Childhood Abuse Flood To The Surface Discussing Domestic Violence

July 30, 2014 2 Comments

Two of my blogging sister’s are going through a very rough time with their ex’s. Memories flood in of my childhood as a pawn for my mother. I thought I had a good understanding of Domestic Violence, I was wrong. My stepfather beat my mother almost daily, constant verbal abuse which would cause her emotional abuse. What really hit home is how the abuse of a parent trickles down to the kids. I thought the memories of my mother were in the past. I never looked at myself as living in a house with Domestic Violence. I’m blinded with hatred towards my mother for abusing me. These emotions come to the surface yet there is no sympathy for her. The realization my friends are going through the same difficulties is blinding. I was the pawn, not the mother watching her children in agony with no recourse. I have felt anger and cried so many tears for my friends. I see their pain and remember what it was like for me as a child. I’ve gone from crying to full caregiver mode, wanting to help. I’m so emotionally involved wanting to help anyway possible. As you can see from a conversation with one of my friends, I’ve gone overboard. Looking at what they are facing with the ex, I saw for the first time I was a pawn in my mother’s game. I lived in a home with Domestic Violence. Another form […]

Child Abuse

From Warrior To You, Don't Give Up You Are Loved

July 16, 2014 11 Comments

I woke up weeping this morning, the reasons are never known to me. I sit down to write and start to cry. Unsure of what I need emotionally, my focus turns.When a song strikes my heart, instantly I know that is what I need. Today I needed to hear I was loved. Josh Groban fills my soul, maybe he can fill you with love today. Warrior

Bipolar Disorder

How Keeping a Mood Chart Saved My Life

June 29, 2014 4 Comments

When I started seeing my Psychopharmacologist almost 16 years ago he intimidated me. He’s not a chipper guy and it took years to see through his shell. I was in a very dark place and spiraling down. I didn’t think he understood how depressed I was. Psychiatrist are different from therapist in how they schedule their time unless your Psych is also your […]

Caregiver

Speak Your Mind! Call Congressional Members 6/12/14 Urging to Co-Sponsor "KEEP ALL STUDENTS SAFE ACT"

June 11, 2014 Leave a Comment

Please remember there are no Federal Laws in place to limit the use of restraints and seclusion in Schools nationwide. Many times children with disabilities and mental illness have to deal with the trauma, trauma they don’t understand. We have to set standards to protect our children. Warrior Tomorrow is our national call-in day so advocates all over the country can call their Senators and Representatives and ask them to co-sponsor the Keeping All Students Safe Act (S. 2036 and H.R. 1893). These bills greatly restrict the use of restraint and seclusion in our nation’s schools to protect children from harm. There are no federal laws regulating the use of restraint and seclusion in schools. Numerous media stories and various reports have documented the harm, trauma and even death that have occurred from the use of restraint and seclusion in schools. Restraint is being used in alarmingly high numbers on students with disabilities, including those living with mental illness. Effective alternatives exist to reduce and eliminate the unnecessary use of restraints and seclusion and protect students and staff. These bills support alternatives that provide students with a safe and positive learning environment. Call Today! Please call your Congressional members and urge them to co-sponsor the Keeping All Students Safe Act. Thank you for your dedication to mental health advocacy!

Child Abuse

'Keeping All Students Safe Act' National Call-In Day June 12th

June 7, 2014 2 Comments

There are stories almost weekly of schools using restraint or isolation on children deemed unruly. No federal law regulates these actions. I see both sides of the issue however another approach is urgent. As a person with mental illness, I can not imagine the long-term scars on children who receive this type of treatment. Please mark your calendars, it’s just around the corner. Warrior Keeping All Students Safe Act (S. 2036 and H.R. 1893) National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) is working with a coalition to end restraint and seclusion in schools. The coalition has organized a national call-in day on June 12th so advocates all over the country can call their Senators and Representatives and ask them to co-sponsor the Keeping All Students Safe Act (S. 2036 and H.R. 1893). These bills greatly restrict the use of restraint and seclusion in our nation’s schools to protect children from harm. There are no federal laws regulating the use of restraint and seclusion in schools. Numerous media stories and various reports have documented the harm, trauma and even death that have occurred from the use of restraint and seclusion in schools. Restraint is being used in alarmingly high numbers on students with disabilities, including those living with mental illness. Effective alternatives exist to reduce and eliminate the unnecessary use of restraints and seclusions and protect students and staff. These bills support alternatives that provide students with a safe and positive learning environment. Call June 12th! Please […]

Dating Violence

Funding Update for Rape Kit "End The Backlog" FY2015

June 5, 2014 2 Comments

A Step Closer to Landmark Reform Today, we have moved one step closer to achieving landmark rape kit reform. This morning, the Senate Appropriations Committee approved $41 million in its FY2015 Commerce, Justice and Science spending bill to address the rape kit backlog. The Senate’s actions follow on the heels of last week’s vote by the House of Representatives for this historic level of funding in its new spending bill. The new program will provide communities with the vital resources they need to help end the backlog at law enforcement agencies throughout the country, with a focus on investigating cases and re-engaging survivors in the process. As we begin the final push to ensure this funding is passed by the full Senate, we urge you to join the thousands who have already taken action and made their voices heard.Write to your Senators and urge them to support this funding as the bill moves through the Senate. Send your letter here. Thank the members of the Senate and House Appropriations Committee leadership who prioritized this funding. Share your tweets here. Help spread the word about the rape kit backlog and our efforts to end it with your community. Get started here. Funding for comprehensive rape kit reform sends a message to survivors that they—and their cases—matter. It sends a message to perpetrators that they will be held accountable for their crimes. It demonstrates a commitment to survivors to do everything possible to bring healing […]

Dating Violence

Dating Violence, Stabbed 32 Times and Survives

June 2, 2014 7 Comments

By MELISSA DOHME CBS NEWS May 30, 2014, 2:15 PM 48 Hours: Dating violence survivor tells story My name is Melissa Dohme. I am twenty-two years old and I live in Clearwater, Florida. On January 24, 2012, I found myself surrounded with family, covered in bandages, connected to machines, with tubes down my throat, praying and thanking God for saving my life. Hours before this moment I was lying alone in the road outside my home, covered in blood, taking what I thought would be my last breath. I had just been viciously attacked, beaten, and stabbed 32 times. How could this happen? Looking back three years prior, I remember the exact moment I met this extremely charming, sweet, and funny guy named Robert Burton. When we started dating, everything was perfect, but as I prepared for my high school graduation, things began to change. Robert became extremely jealous, controlling, and short-tempered. I was going through verbal and emotional abuse throughout our two-year relationship without knowing it was abuse. The violence turned physical in the last few months, and by then I felt completely trapped. He would tell me if I was to leave or tell anyone about the abuse, he would kill me, my family, and himself. He began attempting suicide to scare me, but would stop and threaten me with weapons to prove he was serious. One night, I had the opportunity, courage, and strength to run away and call the police–and […]

World Violence

Sudan Sentenced (Flogging/Death) Women 8 months Pregnant For Not Recanting Christian Faith

May 17, 2014 7 Comments

Please read the horrific story of a Sudanese mother, doctor and Christian sentenced to flogging and death unless she recants her Christian faith. Mariam is 8 months pregnant and has a two-year old son. Government of Sudan: Don’t execute 8 months pregnant Mariam Yehya Ibrahim for being Christian By Emily Clarke Malmesbury Sign Emily’s Petition at Change.org Mariam Yehya Ibrahim, a Sudanese mother, doctor and Christian, has been sentenced to flogging and death unless she recants her Christian faith. She is 8 months pregnant and has a two-year-old son. Please, join the international community in asking Sudan not to execute her for being a Christian. Ibrahim is charged with adultery on the grounds that her marriage to a Christian man from South Sudan is considered void under Shari’a law, for which the penalty is flogging. She’s also charged with apostasy, or abandonment of religion, for which the penalty is death. Mariam is the daughter of a Christian woman and Muslim man. She was raised Christian after her father left. However, Sudanese law mandates that children born to Muslim fathers are considered Muslim. The fact that a woman could be sentenced to death for her religious choice, and to flogging for being married to a man of an allegedly different religion is abhorrent. Call upon the government of Sudan to respect the right to freedom of religion! Sign Emily’s Petition on Change.org The person (or organization) who started […]

Child Abuse

Yemen votes on Child Rights Act which includes end of Female Genital Mutilation

May 17, 2014 1 Comment

Yemen is looking to end child marriages and FGM through the Child Rights Act. The new law would establish minimum age of 18 for marriage and end FGM. A positive vote will meet minimum International Human Rights standards. Yemen is leading the way to end the horrific use of Female Genital Mutilation. My hope is other countries take notice and intact similar laws. Yemen law on child brides and FGM offers hope of wider progress. The smooth passage of legislation outlawing child marriage and female genital mutilation is key to Yemen’s long-term prosperity. Schoolgirls in Sana’a, Yemen. A new law promises to protect under-18s from marriage. Yemen is poised to vote on a comprehensive Child Rights Act over the coming months, which would ban child marriage and female genital mutilation (FGM). The new law would establish the minimum age for marriage as 18, in line with the international human rights standard. Fines would be imposed on guardians, signatories, marriage officials and any other witnesses aware of any contravention. The push for official legislation on such issues has been endorsed by Hooria Mashhour, the Yemeni human rights minister, and supported by others in government. If approved by the prime minister and cabinet, the legislation would go to a parliamentary vote. However, successful passage of the law is far from certain. In 2009, an attempt to make 17 the minimum age of marriage for girls was blocked by traditional and religious leaders and the parliament’s sharia committee. The […]

Abuse

Washington Doesn't Want to Talk About Vaginas

May 17, 2014 4 Comments

Jaha Dukureh is a survivor, driven with incredible inner strength. This article is a great follow-up to the post I wrote on Female Genital Mutilation. This is the worst form of abuse on children and women. I can appreciate bringing traditions when moving to America. Female Genital Mutilation is a tradition not excepted in America. The violence and violation of children and women is illegal, not a tradition America has ever followed and is inhumane. Most people are not familiar with Female Genital Mutilation, now is a good time to educate yourself and others. Jaha’s clitoris and labia removed and her vagina stitched leaving only a small hole to urinate and menstruate. Sex is very painful.This procedure is Type 3 FGM. It is a long post but please read her brave and motivating story. Please sign the petition on Change.org. She is a survivor and want’s to teach Americans what to do to stop FGM in America. The Futures Without Violence website http://exchange.futureswithoutviolence.org is a great resource to offer support and educate. From the Futures Without Violence Website. Jaha Dukureh: ‘In Washington, they don’t want to talk about Vaginas’ An Atlanta woman who is a survivor of female genital mutilation is leading a campaign for the US to take action on a brutal practice happening in its own backyard. Jaha Dukureh does not give up easily. When, aged just 15, she was sent to New York from Gambia for an arranged marriage, it looked like […]

Awards

Brave Heart Award

May 16, 2014 19 Comments

The Brave Heart Mission Statement To encourage all those (men & women) who have been abused (all abuse) to share their hope with others so that they will no longer be a victim but a survivor that knows they are loved. A Victims Journal nominated me for the Brave Heart Award. There are not enough words to express how helpful, positive and inspiring she is to me. I admire her raw and honest post. The feedback she gives is no less raw. Her sixth sense of knowing when you need a boost or a little prodding helps keep me on track. I feel like she reads all of my post and always has a hug and positive affirmation. Rules of Acceptance: Thank the person who nominated you. Answer 12 questions put before you. Nominate/award 12 bloggers. Notify nominees/awardees with a link to their blogs on yours. 12 Questions Asked 1.Tell us a bit about your blog. Who designed it The blog is an avenue to tell my story of physical, emotional and sexual abuse. I believe it also serves as a resource for men & women alike. I used a Word Press template and designed myself. 2. What is the title and description of your blog? Looking for the Light is my blog which focuses on my story of abuse and Mental Illness. 3. Who is your intended audience? Anyone who has suffered trauma. I believe we can all help […]

Caregiver

Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network (RAINN) Monthly Update

May 13, 2014 2 Comments

Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network RAINN MONTHLY UPDATE http://RAINN.ORG Online Help – 1.800.656.HOPE (4673) RAINN: The nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization. One of “America’s 100 Best Charities” -Worth magazine House Votes to Renew DNA Bill A bill to renew the Debbie Smith Act, which would help eliminate the backlog of untested DNA evidence from unsolved rape cases, was passed by the House of Representatives. Learn More on Website RAINN Teams Up with Degrassi to Help Teens. TV show Degrassi included a storyline that followed the aftermath of an alcohol-facilitated sexual assault and its impact on the school. In conjunction with the episode, TeenNick aired a PSA that encouraged viewers to get help from the National Sexual Assault Hotline. Learn More on Website Survivor Spotlight: Stories of Support This month, survivors share how loved ones helped them on their paths toward hope and healing How You Can Support a Friend This Month If you or someone you love has been assaulted, it’s crucial to have a support system in place. A new series of infographics shares ways you can be supportive. Learn more on Website Anniversary of ‘Speak’ Connects with New Generation. RAINN and publishing house Macmillan bring Laurie Halse Anderson’s “Speak” to a new generation of young readers. Learn more about the #Speak4RAINN15 campaign and how a $15 donation can help a survivor today. Warrior

Child Abuse

Terrorist Convert Hundreds of Schoolgirls To Muslims? NOT!

May 13, 2014 14 Comments

Does BoKo Haram think we are ignorant? What child would not comply with a machine gun pointed at her? We are not ignorant and you will be held ACCOUNTABLE. If you were one of the almost 300 schoolgirls kidnapped almost a month ago by terrorist, wouldn’t you say anything with machine guns pointing at you? I don’t believe for one minute over 100 girls asked for a terrorist group to convert them from Christian to Muslims. They are not given a choice, they received instructions to get in front of cameras and say what we rehearsed or you’re dead. These brave girls are being held hostage in the jungle by terrorist group BoKo Haram. They did not go voluntarily and have not had any choices since their school burned down. What cowards, dressed as Police Officers to convince the girls to go with them. The group is also responsible for killing 1,500 in the last month. The level of violence has escalating. I know terrorist are not trustworthy, THEY ARE TERRORIST. They are not terrorist bringing of goodwill to Nigeria. They are suggesting a trade, the girls for clan members in prison. This morning I heard the President is considering negotiating. From where I sit, it’s a death sentence. It shows the government does not want to get its hands dirty. Almost 300 schoolgirls and the blood of 1,500 people are on your hands. Why is the government of Nigeria sitting on its hands. […]

Child Abuse

Terrorist BoKo Haram and Nigerian Government #BringBackOurGirls

May 11, 2014 1 Comment

I met two women bloggers living in Nigeria last week while looking for information on the kidnapped schoolgirls. They welcomed me with open arms and were patient answering all my questions. I wanted an understanding of the country in hopes of making sense of almost 300 schoolgirls being kidnapped. Not to mention 1,500 people killed this year by terrorist group Boko Haram. Without knowing the history of the country it is difficult to understand the dynamics, corruption and terrorist groups operating in the country. Nigeria is one of the largest African nations and is Christian and Muslims. I think getting the facts from people on the ground versus me or the media is more important. I’ve included links to the wonderful women who helped me immensely. http://maureenoblaq.wordpress.com http://musingsofahappymortal.wordpress.com ******************************************* Change.org There’s a powerful petition taking off on Change.org and we think you might be interested in signing it: Live link at end of post. All World Leaders: Bring Back Nigeria’s 200 Missing School Girls #BringBackOurGirls. In Nigeria, over 200 girls were recently abducted from their boarding school and plans are reported of them being selling them as brides for $12 each. I am calling on the world to unite and save them. The abducted young girls are being affected by a conflict they did not create, and their voices need to be heard. I can only imagine what these 200 girls have been through, and their government is not doing nearly enough […]

Child Abuse

The Most Important "Sexy" Model Video Ever

May 11, 2014 5 Comments

The Most Important “Sexy” Model Video Ever Save the Children gets the point across. Warrior

Child Abuse

Nigerian Militants Kidnap 250+ Schoolgirls for Slaves or Marriage

May 7, 2014 33 Comments

Under the cover of darkness Nigerian Militants raid girls school kidnaping close to 300 girls. Some were able to escape yet stranded far from school. Their future is grime, girls as young as 9 years old are sold as slaves or prostitutes. For older girls the future is just as bleak. Girls as young as 12 years old will endure the horrific pain of Female Mutilation before being sold into marriage or prostitutes. International Trafficking is growing and the atrocities against young girls continue. Now is a good time to educate yourself on the complex issues. President Obama spoke out against the crime and Militants responded by kidnapping more girls. As mentioned earlier the issue is complex. This post is a high level overview of the issue. I want to do research, including responses from other countries and more specifically what President Obama has committed to. I received an e-mail yesterday from Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott on International Trafficking that I have yet to dig into. This situation has reached a tipping point for me. I will post a follow up very soon. I’m going to leave you with a quote from Amnesty International. “MY BODY MY RIGHTS” In many parts of the world, poverty and discrimination affect women’s ability to access education and exercise control over their own bodies. As a result, women and girls all over the world are at risk of violence, forced marriage, genital mutilation, […]

Sexual Abuse

Hundreds of Thousands RAPE KITS UNTESTED

April 28, 2014 2 Comments

END THE BACKLOG Give closure to Rape victims Give jail time to Abuser What are we saying to victims? Victims are not important?. Raped at 11 & 12 years old, I didn’t tell a soul. My mother would have beat me silly. Some of you will know this first hand. It takes close to six hours to go through the photos, poking, scraping and prodding of a Rape Kit collection. I hear it’s humiliating and you feel violated again. I don’t have many issues that get under my skin, this is the ONE. How did this happen? Over years the kits collected dust stored at local level without a system to retrieve them. The Rape Kits started crowding out the local precinct storage and shipped to storage facilities and forgotten about. In recent years the money for the DNA testing was expensive and budgets were smaller. END THE BACKLOG has moved mountains in a very short time. Please pass the e-mail around and sign up on website. This is my opinion and not endorsed by End The Backlog. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Dear Friend, We have heard some exciting news and we wanted you to hear it from us first. We also want to ask for your help advocating for change. As you know, Joyful Heart is dedicated to ending the rape kit backlog nationwide. Every year, more than 200,000 individuals report their rape to the police. Almost all are asked to have a rape kit […]

Mental Illness

NO MORE George R.R. Martin

April 25, 2014 1 Comment

NO MORE EXCUSES MEANS NO MORE EXCUSES. It doesn’t mean Television & Cable Networks get a pass. George R.R. Martin of Game of Thorns doesn’t agree. The cliffhanger last week named Breaker of Chains was an INCESTUOUS RAPE SCENE. One viewer said “it was the most disturbing scene ever”. At first George gave lip service saying it wasn’t RAPE which quickly turned to an apology when the Network was inundated with negative feedback. Every news/magazine outlet hit the story hard. One viewer did a rewrite of how the sence should have played out and printed by a major media outlet. This is an opportunity to educate the media on what we do and don’t want to see. If we believe RAPE and other VIOLENCE is wrong, we have to stand up. Until we make our voices heard the cycle continues. Warrior

Alcohol

NO MORE EXCUSES

April 24, 2014 3 Comments

No More Silence. No More Violence. Tune in for the NO MORE Excuses SVU Marathon This Sunday on USA The link will take you to information about event and how you can help. There’s an extensive list of resources. Mariska Hargitay who plays a cop on SVU, gives a special address. Mariska started the Joyful Heart Foundation in 2004 with the mission to help heal, educate and empower survivors of sexual assault, domestic violence and child abuse. NO MORE and End the Backlog are featured programs of the Joyful Heart Foundation. KNOW THE FACTS The next time you’re in a room with 6 people, think about this: 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men experience violence from their partners in their lifetimes. 1 in 3 teens experience sexual or physical abuse or threats from a boyfriend or girlfriend in one year. 1 in 5 women are survivors of rape. 1 in 2 women and 1 in 5 men have experienced some form of sexual violence in their lives. 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men were sexually abused before the age of 18. Warrior

Bipolar Disorder

Where I Surf and Blog

April 23, 2014 1 Comment

This is where I start my day, you can see I’m on the organized side. My office would be perfect if I didn’t have three animals in there. They are like children either fighting or having a melt down. Life could be so much worse. Truly I know how blessed I am. I like to buy all kinds of cool things for the office, that way I don’t get bored. This is very close to the office of my dreams. I like it that way because I have to dream. Maybe someday I’ll get that expansive office with built-in wall to wall bookcases. You know a little more about me and a person’s desk says it all. Have an awesome day. Warrior

Child Abuse

Survivor & So Much More First Posted 4/21/2014

April 21, 2014 6 Comments

I am alive, happy, productive and helping other Survivors. Very Blessed. My childhood and teenage years where so difficult I truly believed suicide was the only answer. My first attempt was at 9 years old, I took all the pills in my dad’s medicine cabinet. I got a buzz then my stomach pumped. Suicide was always on my mind since the […]

Alcohol

Stations of the Cross

April 18, 2014 2 Comments

This post does not preach or try to convert anyone of any religion. It’s the story of my intersection with the Catholic Church at 13 years old. In my recent post “I Almost Killed My Father” I told of spending a year at a Convent for bad girls. It is here I became familiar to the Catholic Religion. Growing up we did […]

Alcohol

About Looking For The Light Blog

April 8, 2014 9 Comments

My mother, stepfather and father abused me until I was a teenager. All the scars hurt particularly of my father who sexually abused me. It’s hard to wrap your head around sexual abuse. My father committed suicide in 1992. It was an extremely difficult time, my grandmother never recovered he was her only child. In my father’s suicide note he wanted me to take care of all the details. Estranged for years but the heart still breaks. Because of the manner in which he killed himself we had to have a closed casket funeral. It’s very hard to reconcile death when you can’t see them. I gave the eulogy however I don’t remember. I struggle with Treatment Resistant Bipolar Disorder and the anxiety it brings. I was diagnosed at 19 years old struggling for years without medication or over medicated. In 2005 I had the Vagus Nerve Stimulator implanted. The device sends electrical signals to the brain to increase Serotonin. I have taken over 40 prescriptions or cocktails. Some worked for a while then you have to try another mix. I thought the VNS device would keep me on the rails. Naïve thinking on my part. I was not as lucky as many in the FDA clinical trial. I realized the device was like any other prescription and it was another that didn’t work. I’m 50 years old now and the Black Dog drags me down deeper as I age. I’m alive with […]

Child Abuse

Meds & Musing

April 5, 2014 Leave a Comment

Rosie Perez Oscar Nominated Actress has released a memoir about her road to survival with a Mentally Ill mother. I saw her on a talk show not long ago. Rosie is open, no glossing over her past. She is a survivor. The book, Handbook for an Unpredictable Life. I found it on Amazon. Many are focusing on Child Abuse Month and possibly making […]

Child Abuse

Female Circumcision on rise in US

April 4, 2014 6 Comments

I believe FGM is the most horrific form of child abuse. The article is difficult to read. If you are not familiar with the practice, I pray you’re outraged. I had no idea the practice of Female Genital Mutilation was a growing trend in the US. I found the article on NBC.com under World News with a 3/31/14 original publication date. Horrific Taboo: Female Circumcision on the Rise in U.S. BY ANNABEL ROBERTS AND MARIAN SMITH When Marie was two years old, a woman in her village in Africa cut off her clitoris and labia. Now 34 and living thousands of miles away in New York, she is still suffering. “I have so many problems, with my husband, with sex, with childbirth,” she told NBC News, withholding her real name to protect her identity. “The consequences on my life are all negative, both physically and psychologically.” The practice of Female Genital Mutilation is common across much of Africa, where it is believed to ensure sexual purity before marriage. But Marie says FGM is also “very common” in some communities in America. “The pressure to get daughters cut is great,” she said. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, at least 150,000 to 200,000 girls in the U.S. are at risk of being forced to undergo cutting. The CDC says “at risk” because there are no actual records of the practice, only estimates – and old estimates at that. Its latest data […]