Survivor

Hundreds of Thousands RAPE KITS UNTESTED

END THE BACKLOG

Give closure to Rape victims 

Give jail time to Abuser

What are we saying to victims? Victims are not important?. Raped at 11 & 12 years old, I didn’t tell a soul. My mother would have beat me silly. Some of you will know this first hand. It takes close to six hours to go through the photos, poking, scraping and prodding of a Rape Kit collection. I hear it’s humiliating and you feel violated again. I don’t have many issues that get under my skin, this is the ONE. How did this happen? Over years the kits collected dust stored at local level without a system to retrieve them. The Rape Kits started crowding out the local precinct storage and shipped to storage facilities and forgotten about. In recent years the money for the DNA testing was expensive and budgets were smaller. END THE BACKLOG has moved mountains in a very short time. Please pass the e-mail around and sign up on website. This is my opinion and not endorsed by End The Backlog.

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Dear Friend,

We have heard some exciting news and we wanted you to hear it from us first. We also want to ask for your help advocating for change.

As you know, Joyful Heart is dedicated to ending the rape kit backlog nationwide. Every year, more than 200,000 individuals report their rape to the police. Almost all are asked to have a rape kit collected, a process that can take four to six hours to complete. The potential benefits from this invasive process are enormous: testing of the DNA evidence in a rape kit can identify an unknown perpetrator, confirm the presence of a known assailant, corroborate the victim’s account of the rape and exonerate innocent suspects. To accomplish these things, however, the kits must be tested. In the United States, it is estimated that there are hundreds of thousands of untested rape kits in police storage and crime lab facilities simply waiting to be tested. Untested rape kits represent lost justice for rape victims, as they often mean a rape investigation was cut short before the offender could be brought to justice. Currently, Detroit is working to test more than 11,000 kits that were transferred to a warehouse by the police and left behind, despite significantly limited resources. But we are not in this alone. After meeting with Vice President Joe Biden and Attorney General Eric Holder in March, we have learned that President Obama has identified $20 million in his budget request to Congress to help the Department of Justice address the backlog. At a time of budget cuts across the federal government, this investment shows the significance of our work in shining a light on this important issue. We will continue to work with members of Congress to make sure this funding stays in the final proposals that become law.

To read yesterday’s op-ed from our Founder & President, Mariska Hargitay, and Wayne County Prosecutor Kym Worthy on this important development, visit The Huffington Post.

To learn more about Joyful Heart’s work to end the rape kit backlog, visit http://www.endthebacklog.org.

What you can do:

Call your represetative and senators and let them know that funding the Department of Justice’s efforts to eliminate the rape kit backlog is critical and must be made a priority in this year’s budget. Click here to find contact information for your representative and here to find your senators.

Thank you for your continued support,

SarahTofte
Sarah Tofte
Director of Policy & Advocacy
Joyful Heart Foundation

Moving Forward

Mariel Hemingway presents “Running From Crazy”

Mariel Hemingway is the granddaughter of Ernest Hemingway. Mariel’s documentary explores her famous family’s history with Mental Illness and heartbreaking suicides. Premiering on the OWN network this Sunday at 9:00pm EST. I would double-check the start time. Information about the documentary including start times is probably on OWN’s website. Their family has faced generations of Mental Illness. Mariel is straight forward  about her fears and the past. It looks very interesting, I’ll watch or record it.

Warrior

Moving Forward

Mariel Hemingway presents "Running From Crazy"

Mariel Hemingway is the granddaughter of Ernest Hemingway. Mariel’s documentary explores her famous family’s history with Mental Illness and heartbreaking suicides. Premiering on the OWN network this Sunday at 9:00pm EST. I would double-check the start time. Information about the documentary including start times is probably on OWN’s website. Their family has faced generations of Mental Illness. Mariel is straight forward  about her fears and the past. It looks very interesting, I’ll watch or record it.

Warrior

Moving Forward · Survivor

NO MORE George R.R. Martin

NO MORE EXCUSES MEANS NO MORE EXCUSES. 

It doesn’t mean Television & Cable Networks get a pass. George R.R. Martin of Game of Thorns doesn’t agree. The cliffhanger last week named Breaker of Chains was an INCESTUOUS RAPE SCENE. One viewer said “it was the most disturbing scene ever”. At first George gave lip service saying it wasn’t RAPE which quickly turned to an apology when the Network was inundated with negative feedback. Every news/magazine outlet hit the story hard. One viewer did a rewrite of how the sence should have played out and printed by a major media outlet. This is an opportunity to educate the media on what we do and don’t want to see. If we believe RAPE and other VIOLENCE is wrong, we have to stand up. Until we make our voices heard the cycle continues.

Warrior

Moving Forward · Survivor

NO MORE EXCUSES

No More Silence. No More Violence.

Tune in for the NO MORE Excuses SVU Marathon This Sunday on USA  The link will take you to information about event and how you can help. There’s an extensive list of resources. Mariska Hargitay who plays a cop on SVU, gives a special address. Mariska started the Joyful Heart Foundation in 2004 with the mission to help heal, educate and empower survivors of sexual assault, domestic violence and child abuse. NO MORE and End the Backlog are featured programs of the Joyful Heart Foundation.

KNOW THE FACTS

The next time you’re in a room with 6 people, think about this:

1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men experience violence from their partners in their lifetimes.
1 in 3 teens experience sexual or physical abuse or threats from a boyfriend or girlfriend in one year.
1 in 5 women are survivors of rape.
1 in 2 women and 1 in 5 men have experienced some form of sexual violence in their lives.
1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men were sexually abused before the age of 18.

Warrior

Moving Forward

Where I Surf and Blog

Where I surf and blog.
Where I surf and blog.

This is where I start my day, you can see I’m on the organized side. My office would be perfect if I didn’t have three animals in there. They are like children either fighting or having a melt down. Life could be so much worse. Truly I know how blessed I am. I like to buy all kinds of cool things for the office, that way I don’t get bored. This is very close to the office of my dreams. I like it that way because I have to dream. Maybe someday I’ll get that expansive office with built-in wall to wall bookcases. You know a little more about me and a person’s desk says it all. Have an awesome day.

Warrior

 

Moving Forward

Stations of the Cross

 On the third day
ON THE THIRD DAY

This post does not preach or try to convert anyone of any religion. It’s the story of my intersection with the Catholic Church at 13 years old. In my recent post “I Almost Killed My Father” I told of spending a year at a Convent for bad girls. It is here I became familiar to the Catholic Religion. Growing up we did not go to church. I would go with any family who would take me. During the first three months in the Convent you were not allowed to go home and had to attend Mass on Sundays. The Mass services were different from anything I had seen before. Being an easily bored teenager prompted me to ask lots of questions. I started going to Mass every morning at 7:00 a.m.to watch the rituals. It was not a religious journey at this time. More of a learning experience and a way to keep me out of trouble. As far back as I can remember my mother told me I was stupid, retarded and had a low IQ. I did not know this was emotional abuse, it was just the norm. My grandparents worked hard to convince me I could do anything I put my mind to. Off track but worth noting, this is where my Miss America story comes from. I loved beauty pageants as a little girl and watched many with my gramps. He said if I want to be Miss America I could. It’s a story you’ll hear again. As it turned out the affirmation stuck. Back on track. Being at the Convent was good for me, I was away from the abuse of both parents. It was the first time my teachers would ask me what I thought. I became a sponge. There were a couple of people on the campus other than the nuns. My counselor was a PhD. in Philosophy, as tall as lurch and I thought he was the smartest person in the world. He saw my interest loaned me books on Philosophy. My mind had cracks open and we would talk about the books for hours at a time. I was in awe, read poetry by people I had not heard of. Philosophy wasn’t in my vocabulary. I started a newspaper for the school, me the kid who wouldn’t amount too much. My grandparents were the only people who gave me positive affirmations. Starved for positive feedback and learning provided a foundation of leadership. Father George spent an hour everyday trying to teach this tone def kid. He smelled like cigarettes and mold. I ask him questions about the church as they came to mind, probably to shorten the lesson. The affirmations about being smart started sinking in. I was given more responsibility and privileges as time went on. The nuns and staff were devout Catholics and would share information if asked. The convent was huge sitting at the top on a large piece of land, it was over 100 years old. I was studying to become a Catholic at this point. My counselor and Father George instructed me. There was a small chapel on the grounds used mostly by the nuns. One afternoon Father George took me to the smaller chapel to learn The Stations of the Cross. We walked around while he told me the story and why it was important.

Looking back it was one of the first decisions I made. I believe the big decision to convert to a Catholic propelled me in an upward motion. I didn’t want to be told how stupid I was ever again. Father George baptized and confirmed me before leaving. My grandparents came to watch. It was a special time for me in many ways I did not know yet. I leave and go to live with my grandparents. I went to church until 19 years old. The service one Sunday talked about adultery. To make sure I heard the priest correctly, I ask him specifically about adultery applying to someone who remarried. I didn’t enter a Catholic Church for over 20 years. Ok, what about the stations of the cross you ask. During a very dark time I started listening to the bible and programs on television. The Stations of the Cross had left my memory a long time ago. I couldn’t recall any of Stations and did a search to read them. The Stations of the Cross is not a Catholic thing, it’s a Jesus thing. I will butcher the correct way to explain but I’ll give it a go. The Stations are twelve significant events starting with Jesus being condemned to death. I was praying all the time for help with my depression. The Ninth Station is when Jesus falls a third time. I thought about it for a long time, then knew I could get up. Nothing magic, it could have been any of them. The Convent provided me a priceless education and the beginning of my life without abuse.

Warrior

 

 

 

 

 

 

Men & Womens Health

Meds & Musing

Rosie Perez Oscar Nominated Actress has released a memoir about her road to survival with a Mentally Ill mother. I saw her on a talk show not long ago.  Rosie is open, no glossing over her past. She is a survivor. The book, Handbook for an Unpredictable Life. I found it on Amazon.

Many are focusing on Child Abuse Month and possibly making donations. CharityNavigator.com is an excellent site for information before making donations. I use this site because I don’t want my donation to be spent on management expenses. The tools are good and you can get an Expenditures Sheet to show how they use the money

I found this photo and had to laugh. I’m a survivor of abuse but still managed by meds for my Bipolar Disorder. I do what’s required to have a full life.

Warrior

Men & Womens Health

Female Circumcision on rise in US

I believe FGM is the most horrific form of child abuse. The article is difficult to read. If you are not familiar with the practice, I pray you’re outraged. I had no idea the practice of Female Genital Mutilation was a growing trend in the US. I found the article on NBC.com under World News with a 3/31/14 original publication date.

Horrific Taboo: Female Circumcision on the Rise in U.S.
BY ANNABEL ROBERTS AND MARIAN SMITH

When Marie was two years old, a woman in her village in Africa cut off her clitoris and labia. Now 34 and living thousands of miles away in New York, she is still suffering. “I have so many problems, with my husband, with sex, with childbirth,” she told NBC News, withholding her real name to protect her identity. “The consequences on my life are all negative, both physically and psychologically.”

The practice of Female Genital Mutilation is common across much of Africa, where it is believed to ensure sexual purity before marriage. But Marie says FGM is also “very common” in some communities in America. “The pressure to get daughters cut is great,” she said. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, at least 150,000 to 200,000 girls in the U.S. are at risk of being forced to undergo cutting. The CDC says “at risk” because there are no actual records of the practice, only estimates – and old estimates at that. Its latest data date to 1997, the year after being banned in the U.S. But citing anecdotal evidence from health professionals and frontline workers, experts who work with victims and their communities say FGM is on the rise.

“It is hard to believe this is the real number because of how much [FGM-practicing] communities are growing, especially in the last two or three years,” said Mariama Diallo, African community specialist at Sanctuary for Families, a New York-based non-profit dedicated to helping domestic violence and trafficking victims. Her organization could only extrapolate using census data when it issued a report on the growing problem last year. Immigration to the U.S. from countries in Africa quadrupled between 1990 and 2011 from 360,000 to 1.6 million according to a recent report released by New York City’s planning department. “The numbers need to be updated – but this needs funding and no one is interested,” said Dr. Nawal Nour, founder of the African Women’s Health Practice at Boston’s Brigham and Women’s Hospital.
Lack of Prosecutions

There are different degrees of FGM, the most severe form being the narrowing of the vaginal opening by repositioning the labia and stitching up the opening, sometimes leaving a hole the size of a matchstick for the passing of urine and menstrual flow. The cutting is often carried out without anesthetic on girls between infancy and the age of eight. Victims can suffer numerous physical and mental health problems: severe abdominal pain, vaginal and pelvic infections, pain during sex, complications during childbirth.

In Phoenix, Arizona, a staggering 98 percent of Somali women being treated at the Refugee Women’s Health Clinic have been circumcised, founder Dr. Crista Johnson said. She estimates the Somali community is at least 12,000-strong. Johnson has supported such victims all over the country – from Washington,D.C., to Michigan to California – and says the spike in immigration from such communities has astonished in recent years. “The number has easily quadrupled because of migration patterns,” she added.
So with such numbers, why has there only been one successful prosecution in the U.S.? “People won’t report against their families,” Marie said. Since the mutilation is usually organized by the child’s mother or grandmother and supported by the father, many cases go unreported, case workers say. “Even if there is protection from the government, it is difficult for a victim to disclose it through fear of retaliation from their family, and fear of losing their family,” she said. Still, experts believe the law is a useful deterrent. Johnson says there is a sense of resignation among the families that they must abide by U.S. laws. Nour agreed, saying: “Parents are afraid to do anything that will get them deported.”Taboo Topic

For Americans on the outside of communities where it is practiced, FGM is such an unknown that many medical workers, law enforcement and child protection officers are not informed on how to proceed when confronted with it. “This has been such a taboo topic, we [haven’t been able to] take it out from under the table. We need to make it something that can be discussed,” said Shelby Quast, senior policy adviser of Equality Now, an international women’s rights NGOI“There has to be a huge shift so that we identify this as a form of violence against girls – and not something that’s protected as a cultural and religious tradition,” she said. Support for victims is also comparatively poor in the U.S., health workers say. Nour in Boston and Johnson in Arizona run the only two clinics dedicated to supporting FGM victims in the U.S. Comparatively the U.K. – with only a fifth of the population of the U.S. – has 15 specialist clinics. British midwife Comfort, who runs one such operation, recently visited the U.S. to research American facilities.

Coming from Europe, where campaigners are making strides in turning FGM into a mainstream issue, Momoh was shocked to see “no proper coördination and hardly anywhere for girls to go for support,” she said. “The situation is well, well behind the U.K.” Campaigners say reaching out to practicing communities and educating them about the risks and consequences is critical to ending FGM.”If the police are called and told a child is at risk, what will the policeman do if he does not know what FGM is? We need to tell them about it, tell them it’s a violation,” Diallo said. “Every single professional needs to know they have an obligation: doctors, nurses, school teachers…. Everyone has to see it as their responsibility to protect children.”‘Shame and a Prison Term’

In France, which is also home to significant communities which traditionally practice FGM, experts say enforcing the law and outreach to practicing communities must go together. In stark comparison to the single American case, there have been over 100 successful prosecutions in France, with prison sentences for those found guilty of cutting or of allowing their daughters to be cut. “I don’t want my kids to undergo the same fate as me. “There, FGM is prosecuted using existing child protection laws – there is no specific anti-FGM legislation. “There was no need for a special law that would amount to pointing the finger towards immigrants,” said French lawyer Linda Weil-Curiel, who has spent years bringing cases against suspected perpetrators to court. “We had enough legal provisions in the penal code to prosecute and punish the ‘mutilation of minors,’ and the penal code is applicable to everyone on French soil, without discrimination.”She believes these prosecutions helped reduce the practice. “The large publicity in the media of the trials sent a clear message to the families: This is what you are going to get – shame and a prison term – if you do not respect the law.”

Please share your thoughts with me.

Warrior

Men & Womens Health

Praying for Fort Hood

I am heartbroken to hear about the shootings at Fort Hood yesterday. My thoughts and prayers go out to the victim’s family. Please know there are people around the world who are holding your hand. My heart breaks for the shooters family. His family is suffering for the loss of their son and the victims and family members.

I have to share a story about Fort Hood. Being one of the largest Military post, you can count on deployment at Fort Hood. A large percentage of soldiers fighting in Iraq, Afghanistan or other missions are proud to call Fort Hood home. The other side of the coin is a high percentage of deaths, brain injuries and limbs lost. When my grandfather died in 2010, I wanted to honor his Military service by having the Honor Guard attend. At the time Fort Hood had lost so many soldiers the Honor Guard could only service a 50 mile area. The funeral director told me not to expect anyone because we were out of the zone. Soldiers will always respect another soldier, they are bothers. My grandfather was 92 years old and served on the front line in WWII. Soldiers respect those who fought before them. They made an exception for my grandfather without being asked. My heart dropped when I saw two people to fold the flag and another to play Taps. I could see a tear in the soldier in front of me folding the flag. The precise manner of folding the flag, history flashed before my eyes. We are American living in freedom. When the service was over I couldn’t control myself, I ran over to them like a crying fool thanking them. Asking to please tell everyone thank you. I knew how many gave their lives for Americans freedom. Fort Hood is a post full of proud soldiers and survivors. My thoughts are with each of you.