Heidi for sharing the inspirational post. I like the conversation of reality vs. what we tell ourself. We’ve been there. M
Have you ever been asked some of the most inappropriate, odd, or unnerving questions about your mental illness or disorder? Maybe you have or haven’t because the answer to this question is subjective and based on perception. There’s a chance, the person asking the question just isn’t aware of what questions are appropriate or inappropriate. Although a lack of mental health awareness can lead to misperceptions and ambiguity, below are my top ten questions or comments that I wouldn’t recommend asking or saying to your friends and family members diagnosed with a mental illness or disorder; followed by a list of questions that might be deemed more appropriate.
- “I hope you’re 100% by tomorrow”
(This just doesn’t work because 100% doesn’t exist in any context excluding the world of academics. This comment may cause resentment because it can come across as having a nonchalant attitude)
- “Are you going to eat…
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Enjoy the music, I’m mending slowing from knee surgery but it’s time to play. I pray for more music next week. M
I’ve added these resources to my page, I hope someone can benefit from the information. M
- NIH Addiction Resources (National Institute of Health)
- Addiction Center.com Find Rehab Clinics In Your Area
- Recovery.Org Find Addiction Treatment Near You
- Rehab Centers Nation Wide (Insurance Specific)
- Help Guide.org – Addiction Information
- Drug Abuse Resources for Parents
- SMART Recovery.Org – Self Management and Recovery Training
Thank you for sharing the complex details of the mental illness Dissociative Identity Disorder. This helps start a dialogue and I hope more understand. M
I like the idea of meeting with other bloggers
but dread the thought of doing it.
The internet truly does free the creative
I hear that my blog is interesting, creative,
provocative, and sometimes full of shit.
I’m OK with that.
I’m OK with rejections of my disembodied
selves and their ideas.
I’ve seen video of other patients with DID.
What does my DID look like in real-time?
How young do I act when Bobby is out; and how
feminine is my behavior when Sara is out?
In real-time, people don’t see the idea.
Before my symptoms worsened in 2011, I enjoyed
giving parties; I had a large circle of friends: people
with whom I shared ideas.
Six years later, I am almost completely isolated;
I see my partner and my therapist.
I discuss the isolation in therapy and my therapist
and I agree that I need…
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Reblogged from my friend Candace at The Feathered Sleep. Her writing is addictive, stop by her site to look around. You’re bound to find plenty to read. M
Are learned lazily
Incorporated into being, before aware
Of what it means to be.
A habit is a slothful fellow
Whispering in our ears;
You’ve done it before
Come sit by the fire
And watch others rush at life
Put your aching bones close to the warmth
Feel the security of what you’ve gone and done
So many times
And if you were asked
To break out of your stupor
Throw water on the fireplace, dousing heat
And with no preparation
Launch into a violent rain storm
Obscuring your direction
Lashing your sides with chill
Would you follow?
Thrill seekers maybe
The very young, the chronically overlooked
That girl with braces who wanted to be the busty blonde
Maybe they’d fall like extinguished stars
Into the storm
And from their yearning to matter, to win
They’d keep going long after the memory of fire was lost
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WORDPRESS GET OFF MY BACK!!!!!
Users will not take WordPress Bullying any longer. Stops the game tactics and get down to reality. The reality of business ahead and support committed to WordPress Users.
Please pass along to everyone you know so WordPress will quit interfering with our blogs.
Thank you Melinda
Thanks Sedge for bringing light to the many unknown abused children. M
It’s all well and good that the royal commission has addressed the institutional, systemic abuse of children in care…
But what about all the many thousands of children sexually abused by a family member or a neighbor ???
These people have NO voice, because they were NOT abused in institutional care !!!
I was chronically abused by the next door neighbor for three years !!!
I will NEVER get any reparations for what was done to me, and has made my life hell.
Get loud if your tired of being bullied by WordPress. M
This video floored me, it’s real for me, he spoke works to come from my mouth, Jim was able to show the guts, inside, raw communication and how struggles are battled. I ran across this last week, I don’t know who to give credit to. I’ve watched over and over and each time I see one of my dark times, suicidal journeys and crawling back from hell.
I hope you will watch and reblog on. Everyone can learn from the inside look of depression. M
I fired my Lyme Literate Doctor
The last straw!
My Lyme PA prescribed a medication which interacted with a psych medication. Making me Psychotic, pure bat crazy. Scared of myself. Walking in circles non-stop until exhausted. It took days for the medication to clear my system and bring me back to earth. It was life changing. I said horrible things to my husband I can’t back. All said in rage, I was a Monster.
The PA replied by saying the two drugs are in different categories and would not interact that way. I don’t believe my chart what checked against new prescription for interactions. Who knows. I didn’t do my standard process of checking the FDA site. My normal practice is to read the FDA history and related interactions before starting a medication.
Next Update will discuss how I’m building a local Lyme team, the illnesses, ailments, permanent changes I have and regression. Some topics listed below.
Building local Medical team
Early on set Dementia
Antibiotics, skin sensitivity
Immune System impacted indefinitely
have a beautiful weekend! Melinda
It’s an honor to introduce good friend Gavin Kerslake as Featured Blogger for December 2017. Gavin’s highly successful personal site Noir, http://firstname.lastname@example.org. I have no doubt you will want to follow his work. Gavin also contributes to http://email@example.com, a Survivors community.
Gavin is a Professional Photographer, Music Lover, Street Dancer and Published Author. His first book ‘Noir’ released in September 2017.
What hobbies do you have outside of photography?
Music is my favorite thing in my life. I’m into electronic music, but love all kinds of music. Film (movies, TV Series etc) are a big thing in my life. Love Horror and Science Fiction, but also like Foreign Films very much too. I watch a lot of them.
When did you start dancing? Did you dream of having a Studio?
I started dancing in my late teens, and went to jazz classes every week. In my early 20’s I…
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Thanks for sharing the great tips for holidays or any occasion. I’m reflagging to my site. Hope you still have a small on. Do you need any WP Admin help from me, it can get quite frustrating. I’m here to help you. Melinda
This easy Santa wreath is the perfect wreath for everyone, however, it’s more suitable for the chronically ill. Having several chronic illnesses, my hands become numb after moving my hands for a long period of time. I also have extreme fatigue that severely limits me. This is a craft to get you into the Christmas[…]
Please enjoy the powerful and currently powerful. words of Mum C Writes, don’t leave without stopping by her blog site. Have a great Sunday.
None knows how seeds form
None knows how they’ll turn up
Only Onyankopong Otwereduampong knows
So let your tongue be with no meanness
Let your eyes marry your mind in learning
That disability is a different form of ability
Every womb loves its proceeds
None is special than the other
It transcends boundaries
A mother is a mother
A father is a father
So let your voice be with no malice
Teach your mind to know that disability is a different form of ability
In a world where big and wholesome trees
Are at the mercy of some winds
Ailing seeds need shades of protection
Shades of love
Shades of mentoring
For the fact is like a stomach
Every body owns one
So teach your ears to listen in correction
That disability is a different form of ability
Open your arms to the…
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As the year winds down, folks across the country are headed home for the holidays to spend time with family and friends. While this is a time of celebration for many, it also presents challenges for some survivors of sexual abuse.
More often than not, the perpetrator of sexual violence is someone the victim knows. This is especially true for those who experience sexual abuse as a child: 93 percent of children know the perpetrator, and 34 percent are abused by a family member. For these survivors, holiday gatherings can mean facing painful memories, feelings of anxiety, or a chance of repeated harm.
During the holiday season, RAINN support specialists for the National Sexual Assault Hotline anticipate helping survivors who are going through a tough time at home or during family gatherings. Here, they share some strategies to help survivors feel safe.
- Identify alternative housing plans. Survivors who have flexible schedules during the holidays can stay in different places to avoid being in the family home or location where the abuse occurred.
- Consider staying with a friend or non-offending family member.
- Plan a mini-vacation or side trip during the time you would be asked to stay with family.
- Offer to join for family gatherings, but stay in an offsite location, like a motel or hostel (if finances allow). If you are concerned about ongoing safety, keep this location private from the perpetrator.
- Try to avoid close quarters. For many survivors, family pressures or traditions do not permit them to stay outside the family home. In this situation, survivors can brainstorm ways to avoid the perpetrator during gatherings.
- Make plans that involve leaving the home for an extended period of time, such as volunteering, catching up with old friends, or offering to run errands for the household.
- Think of possible excuses, such as having conflicting plans or needing rest, for not attending events where the offender will be present.
- If it makes you feel safer, stick to common areas and public places within the home or building, such as a living room or kitchen, and try to avoid secluded areas.
- Avoid talking to, sitting near, or standing around the person who hurt you. It’s okay to draw boundaries, even if makes other family members uncomfortable.
- Reach out to a neutral party. Survivors may feel isolated because of patterns of not being believed, fear of disclosing, or concerns about creating family tensions or division. Sometimes, it can be easier to talk to a neutral third-party that can offer support.
- Reach out to the National Sexual Assault Hotline by phone (800.656.4673) to be connected with a local sexual assault service provider, or chat online with someone who is trained to help.
- Download safety planning or meditation apps for a smartphone or tablet to help with stressful times.
- Read through recovery tips from RAINN, like Self-Care After Trauma and Tips for Survivors on Consuming Media.
- If you are in imminent danger, call 911.
4. Make a plan. Mapping out a game plan for family gatherings—in advance—can help survivors feel safe, comfortable, and prepared.
- Think through logistics. Does this plan require a car or other transportation? Will you need to arrive or depart the family gathering at a certain time?
- Consider how to talk to family if tensions arise. Not everyone is ready or able to disclose what happened—and that’s OK. Make a plan for how to answer tough questions or diffuse a tense situation.
If your safety plan falls through, or if you experience harm, know that you have done nothing wrong. You deserve support. The National Sexual Assault Hotline is free, confidential, and available 24/7: 800.656.HOPE (4673) and online.rainn.org
Thanks Danica, I can’t think of a more important way to show the reality and the sense of humor the guys had. Of course the great sadness of the dead in Flanders Field.
In honor of Armistice Day / Remembrance Day / Veterans Day, I’ve created a commemorative compilation poem from the words of The Army’s Poets*. I selected these poems, verses and excerpts from The Stars and Stripes newspaper, published in France by the American Expeditionary Forces of the United States Army from February 8, 1918 to June 13, 1919.
Why Is It?
The Dead and the Living
Flanders Fields 1915
IN FLANDERS FIELDS
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from…
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Thank you for sharing her story, she’s a strong woman and can offer support to all of us. M
Rebel Recovery shared this article from the New York Times written by Diana Nyad an athlete and swimmer.
Here I was, a strong-willed young athlete. There he was, a charismatic pillar of the community. But I’m the one who, all these many years later, at the age of 68, no matter how happy and together I may be, continues to deal with the rage and the shame that comes with being silenced.
My particular case mirrors countless others. I was 14. A naïve 14, in 1964. I don’t think I could have given you a definition of intercourse.
My swimming coach was in many ways the father I had always yearned for. I met him when I was 10, and…
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RAPE, ABUSE, INCEST NATIONAL NETWORK
“I just want people to know that they don’t have to be afraid of their truth. Your truth is important, your truth is needed.”
Danyol Jaye was sexually abused and raped repeatedly by his older cousin between the ages of 7 and 10. The cousin enabled multiple perpetrator sexual assault when he locked Danyol in a dark closet and had his friends take turns entering the closet to sexually assault him.
Danyol first disclosed the abuse at age 15 to a close neighbor who was a friend of his mother’s. Not ready to share his story with his family, Danyol trusted the neighbor with the information. However, she immediately told his mother, who confronted him.
“It just felt like another violation. I felt in that moment that not only did my cousin violate me and take something from me, but now a person I trusted with this information also violated me and stole another choice from me. That feeling of violation was as hard as it was to endure the actual trauma.”
Danyol underwent a retraumatization from the violation of losing control of his story, and from his family’s reaction to it. Many of his family members questioned why he waited to speak about the abuse, and openly expressed their disbelief in his story. “There was so much conversation about me without me, but no one ever had a conversation with me.”
Because of the abuse, Danyol has suffered from body image issues, depression, and trust issues. Certain triggers related to the abuse—such as dark rooms—also cause him anxiety.
Danyol’s healing process began when his high school counselor encouraged him to attend student group therapy sessions, where he was able to open up about his story and receive support from his peers.
Other important aspects of Danyol’s healing process have been the support of his best friend of 15 years, connection to his faith, and artistic expression. Danyol created a one-man dramatic stage play about abuse and self-discovery. He wanted to tell his story in his own way and to reclaim the power of sharing what happened to him with his family and friends.
“It was very therapeutic. I remember days when I’d be working on the scripts and rehearsing lines—I would break out in tears. It was the first time I really came to terms with it. This happened to me. This is my truth, I am not a liar, I am not making it up.”
Danyol advocates for ways in which family and friends can be more supportive when a survivor discloses abuse. He recommends not pressuring survivors into giving detailed informations about their assault. This forces them into reliving the incident and can cause repeated trauma. This pressure to gain information makes the interaction focused on the individual who is asking, rather than on the survivor. Danyol instead suggests listening to the survivor, letting them share aspects of their story when they’re ready, and showing your support through believing their story. There are certain obstacles survivors who are men and boys face; learn more about them and find information and resources.
Danyol is currently pursuing a career in the entertainment industry and finishing his autobiography, which he hopes to complete next year. It has been important to Danyol to use his voice to empower other survivors to tell their stories when they’re ready.
“Talking about it really does take back power from the trauma.”