Category: Survivor

Why PTSD Is a Mental Injury, Not a Mental Illness

Psychology Today Posted Sep 23, 2019 Tracy S. Hutchinson, Ph.D. New research suggests that PTSD is a normal response to common life events. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 7.7 million adults suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Along with a surge of awareness regarding PTSD, there are also many misconceptions. For example, some believe it is only associated with war veterans, events such as 9/11, or natural disasters. Although this diagnosis has historically been associated with military veterans who undergo multiple deployments, there are many other events that can trigger symptoms of PTSD. For example, prolonged exposure to emotional and psychological abuse (e.g., verbally abusive relationships, alcoholism, or stressful childhoods) are risk factors for developing symptoms. Some of these lingering misconceptions may be due to the fact that development and recognition of the disorder is relatively recent and has really only blossomed in the last three decades. History In 1980, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) formally recognized PTSD as an actual mental health diagnosis. Historically, it had been formally recognized as “shell shock” and was thought only to occur in military war veterans. Further, PTSD had historically been thought of as something that someone “gets over” over time. This may be true for some, but it isn’t for others. Researchers continue to discover risk factors that can cause PTSD symptoms. This includes emerging research on the study of what happens in childhood and how it affects adults in their lifetime (van Der Kolk, 2014). For example, some of my clients […]

Depression

We Don’t Talk Much About Debt and Depression. This Blogger Is Changing That

4 weeks ago 1 Comment

Melanie Lockert remembers checking the traffic for her blog, Dear Debt, and feeling shocked at the results. Someone had found her site by searching, “I want to kill myself because of debt.” Lockert started Dear Debt in January 2013 after spending the previous year feeling depressed about her student loans. She posted monthly updates about her efforts to pay off […]

Depression

How To Start A Conversation About Suicide

1 month ago 4 Comments

This is a must see video. Jeremy Forbes shares great information to help you have a real conversation with a friend or love one. I did not see the twist coming, he’s a Survivor. M

Abuse

RAINN Stands with LGBTQ Survivors

June 11, 2019 1 Comment

RAINN Newsletter JUN 03, 2019 Each June, communities and individuals around the world recognize pride month—a joyful celebration of all genders and sexualities as well as a solemn reminder of the difficulties many lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) people continue to face. Sexual violence is an issue that affects all people, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. LGBTQ […]

Child Abuse

Survivor & So Much More First Posted 4/21/2014

May 14, 2019 14 Comments

I am alive, happy, productive and helping other Survivors. I’m very blessed. My childhood and teenage years were so difficult I truly believed suicide was the only answer. My first attempt was at 9 years old, I took all the pills in my dad’s medicine cabinet. I got a buzz then my stomach pumped. Suicide was always on my mind since the abuse was every day. If it wasn’t physical abuse, it was constant mental abuse by my mother. At the same time, I saw my mother physically and emotionally abused by my alcoholic stepfather. At 13 years old I left my abusive life behind. It sounds great but you are so wounded you don’t want to look anyone in the eye, they may hit you or call you names. My mind stripped down and filled with trash, my mother took every drop of confidence I had. Over time my confidence grew and I started building who I am today. I did get called names and had a couple good fights. Sounds like any teenager trying to spread their wings. I have many unresolved emotions, responses, and fears. Who doesn’t? What I can say for sure, I’m a survivor and so much more. Survivors have to dig really deep after being kicked down. It took years for me to discover what I liked and longer to get over my fear of failure. My mother told me I was stupid all the time. I know better […]

Childhood Learning

For school shooting survivors, trauma has no time limit

May 12, 2019 Leave a Comment

Associated Press April 18, 2019 By TERRY SPENCER, KELLI KENNEDY and COLLEEN SLEVIN PARKLAND, Fla. (AP) — Alex Rozenblat can still hear the cries of a wounded boy calling for help as she hid from the gunfire that killed 17 people at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School last year. Talking to therapists at the school in Parkland, Florida, didn’t help. Each session had a different counselor, and she found herself rehashing traumas she had already expressed. She would rather turn to her friends, who understand what she went through. “There is slight pressure to get better as quickly as you can, and since it’s been a year, everyone thinks that you are better,” the 16-year-old said. The mental health resources after a school shooting range from therapy dogs and grief counselors at school to support groups, art therapy and in-home counseling. But there is no blueprint for dealing with the trauma because each tragedy, survivor and community is different. Many survivors don’t get counseling right away — sometimes waiting years — making it difficult to understand the full impact. The struggle is getting them to seek help in the first place. In the two decades since the Columbine High School massacre, a network of survivors has emerged, reaching out to the newest victims to offer support that many say they prefer to traditional therapy. As the anguish festers, the danger grows, illustrated by the recent suicides of two Marjory Stoneman Douglas survivors […]

Men's Sexual Abuse

Johnathon’s Story

May 8, 2019 1 Comment

RAINN “I’ve been told my entire life that it was impossible for this kind of thing to happen to me.” Johnathon Cassidy was sexually assaulted by a stranger he met while at a local bar. The perpetrator put a date-rape drug in Johnathon’s drink, sexually assaulted him in a car, stole his personal belongings, and left him unconscious at a bus stop. “When I was raped I was 6’4” and 220 lbs. I truly believed that I could go anywhere I wanted and no one would bother me—I’m part Samoan, I’m hefty, I wear cowboy boots that make me even taller—I was the defender. Everyone always said ‘Go with Johnny, you’ll be safe with him.’ I’ve been told my entire life that it was impossible for this kind of thing to happen to me.” A week after the assault, Johnathon told his best friend at the time what had happened. He reacted in an unsupportive way, making it seem like the assault was an inconvenience because it happened at their favorite bar. He told Johnathon that he wanted to go back to the bar and pressured him into returning. “I was too ashamed to say I was afraid to go and I didn’t want to make my friend feel awkward. So I went back. It was a horrible experience, and to this day he doesn’t realize the impact his response had on me.” Meet Johnathon 5 words that describe me: Creative Adventurous Determined Sarcastic Optimistic […]

Men's Sexual Abuse

Update from MaleSurvivor Board of Directors

March 27, 2019 1 Comment

Dear Friends, I want to thank you on behalf of MaleSurvivor, our Board of Directors, our staff, our members, and the thousands of survivors who visit our website and frequent our Discussion Forum and Chat Room. Your stalwart support as an Advisory Board member facilitates our ongoing efforts to remain the premier place of learning, sharing and healing for male survivors across the country and abroad. The Board of Directors […]

Health and Wellbeing

The Healing Power of Telling Your Trauma Story

March 21, 2019 3 Comments

Psychology Today March 6, 2019 Seth J. Gillihan Ph.D. Think, Act, Be When we’ve survived an extremely upsetting event, it can be painful to revisit the memory. Many of us would prefer not to talk about it, whether it was a car accident, fire, assault, medical emergency, or something else. However, our trauma memoriescan continue to haunt us, even — or especially — if we try to avoid them. The more we push away the memory, the more the thoughts tend to intrude on our minds, as many research studies have shown. If and how we decide to share our trauma memories is a very personal choice, and we have to choose carefully those we entrust with this part of ourselves. When we do choose to tell our story to someone we trust, the following benefits may await. (Please note that additional considerations are often necessary for those with severe and prolonged experiences of trauma or abuse, as noted below.) 1. Feelings of shame subside. Keeping trauma a secret can reinforce the feeling that there’s something shameful about what happened — or even about oneself on a more fundamental level. We might believe that others will think less of us if we tell them about our traumatic experience. When we tell our story and find support instead of shame or criticism, we discover we having nothing to hide. You might even notice a shift in your posture over time — that thinking about or describing your trauma no longer makes […]

Abuse

1 in 6 Special Message From Anthony Edwards

March 4, 2019 3 Comments

Dear 1in6 Family, I wanted to take a moment and send a personal note to share a powerful and moving experience from this past week. On Wednesday, I had the incredible honor of joining an audience of survivors of sexual abuse, as well as others whose lives have been impacted, for a special screening of the two-part documentary “Leaving Neverland,” which will premiere this Sunday, March 3rd and Monday the 4th on HBO. The documentary introduces two incredible men, both survivors of sexual abuse, Wade Robson and James Safechuck. As a leading national organization helping male-identifying survivors of sexual abuse and assault, 1in6 both provided feedback to HBO on the effect of airing this powerful documentary, and recommended resources for survivors. Through this relationship, 1in6 was invited to participate in the taping of a television special, “Oprah Winfrey Presents: After Neverland,” immediately following the screening. As many television specials do, it all came together in a matter of days. Matthew Ennis, 1in6 President & Chief Executive Officer, reached out and asked if I would briefly share my story with Oprah and the audience. A short time later, Matthew and I joined over 150 fellow survivors and their guests in a theatre near New York’s Times Square for the taping. The cavernous room was filled with a positive energy I will not soon forget. Oprah, who has been a lifelong supporter of survivors and the complexities of their stories, brought us all together for an honest and probing discussion of abuse. […]

Chronic Illness

I Am Not…..I Am

February 26, 2019 19 Comments

I Am Not Chronic Lyme Fibromyalgia Dementia Neuropathy Agrophobic Shut-in Over-focused on illness Stagnate Guilty Hopeless Looking for sympathy I am A Women Wife Dog mother Sister Determined Honest Caring to a fault Loving Scared Have high goals Living with symptoms Strong willed Open minded Writer Student Not a player Which one do you like?

Child Abuse

Male Trauma Survivor’s

February 20, 2019 11 Comments

OF NOTE Facilitating Male Trauma Survivors’ Meaningful Involvement in Health Research Sexual abuse is an international problem and an often overlooked public health issue for men and boys. Given the prevalence of trauma and its well-documented connection to mental and physical health disorders, the relevance of male survivor input and engagement in healthcare research is profound. With funding […]

Child Abuse

Bloques de carreteras en la vida

February 5, 2019 5 Comments

Todos golpeamos las carreteras en la vida, algunas semanas duraderas, otros años. Para sobrevivir a la paliza que tiene que permanecer centrado en los pasos hacia adelante, incluso los pasos nano están avanzando. Tuve la suerte, el abuso, el trauma y el odio propio comenzaron cuando era muy joven. Crecí oyendo lo estúpido que me convencí de que era verdad. […]

Child Abuse

Road Blocks in Life

February 5, 2019 13 Comments

We all hit road blocks in life, some lasting weeks, others years. To survive the beat down you have to remain focused on forward steps, even nano steps are moving forward. I was lucky, abuse, trauma and self-hatred started while very young. Growing up hearing how stupid I was convinced me it was true. I was abused, sexually abused and […]

Friday Quote

January 31, 2019 7 Comments

Helen Keller Friendship, Light, Friend, Alone, Better Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence. Helen Keller Motivational, Confidence, Hope, Faith The best. Most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart. Helen Keller Inspirational Beautiful, Heart, Best Walking with […]

Men & Womens Health

I’ve added to the Organizations Who Can Help page

January 13, 2019 Leave a Comment

Please take a look at the resources available under Organizations Who Can Help page. I appreciate you visiting my blog, have a great day. M

Abuse

RAINN: Marissa’s Story

January 11, 2019 5 Comments

“When I speak authentically and truthfully about my experience, I have power. I am not going away.” Marissa Hoechstetter was repeatedly sexually assaulted by the OB-GYN she saw during her pregnancy, the delivery of her twin daughters, and follow-up appointments. The perpetrator was well-regarded in the field and was recommended to Marissa by a friend. At the time of the incidents, Marissa trusted her doctor’s treatment and was focused on making sure her pregnancy went well. “With medical professionals, there’s often a legitimate reason for why their hands are on your body. There’s a gray area and the minute you step into their office, they have power over you,” says Marissa. “Looking back, there were a lot of things that felt odd, but I was pregnant and focused on my babies and after all, this person was the uncle of a close friend of mine.” During one visit after her twins were born, Marissa recognized that the behavior crossed medical boundaries and knew immediately that something was wrong. “I felt it happen and froze. I never went back.” Despite continuing to feel for years that what had happened was wrong, Marissa chose not to report because she was immersed in being a new mother and found herself minimizing her own experience in comparison to other stories of sexual assault. “It just kept coming back to me how wrong it was, but I had one-year-old twins and was working full-time. I didn’t have the ability to […]

Caregiver

Once unwanted, these dogs are now on the front lines of wildlife conservation

January 1, 2019 6 Comments

Ideas TED Talks Nov 6, 2018 / Rebekah Barnett These incredible pups catch poachers, sniff out invasive plants and diseases, and more, thanks to the work of wildlife biologist and conservation-dog expert Megan Parker. What happens to those dogs that are just too much dog for people to handle? “You know them — you go to your friend’s barbecue, their dog is so happy to see you that she pees on your feet, and she drops a slobbery ball in your lap,” says Megan Parker (TEDxJacksonHole talk: Dogs for Conservation), a wildlife biologist and dog expert based in Bozeman, Montana. “You throw it to get as much distance between you and the dog as possible, but she keeps coming back with the ball. By the 950th throw, you’re thinking, Why don’t they get rid of this dog?” All too often, their owners reach the same conclusion and leave their pet at a shelter. Thanks to Parker and the team at Working Dogs for Conservation (WD4C), some of these dogs have found a new leash lease on life. They’re using their olfactory abilities and unstoppable drive in a wide variety of earth-friendly ways, working with human handlers to sniff out illegal poachers and smugglers, track endangered species, and spot destructive invasive plants and animals. Chai is shown here with a trainer. After a dog learns to recognize a particular scent, the education isn’t over — their handler works with them regularly so they maintain their skills. These days, you can find this […]

Postpartum Depression

How to Keep Calm and Survive Your Pregnancy Brain

December 20, 2018 1 Comment

Psycology Today Dawn Kingston Ph.D. The Pregnant Pause The secret is living in your upper brain. Some pregnant women find family events, work parties or holidays more difficult than usual because they are often laden with conversations and comments about what they’re not doing right, what they should be doing, or horror stories of birthing or parenting. How do you […]

Men & Womens Health

Is it Passive-Aggression, or Just Fear of Expressing Your Needs?

December 20, 2018 6 Comments

By Mike Bundrant ~ 3 min read I wrote an article recently on the various ways in which passive-aggressive behavior can undermine and destroy relationships. And it certainly can do just that. But as I was outlining the behaviors and language typically associated with the passive-aggressive personality, I couldn’t help but feel that several of the traits and habits seemed […]

Men & Womens Health

What to say to someone experiencing anxiety or a panic attack

December 19, 2018 3 Comments

Nov. 7, 2018 / 1:27 PM CST / Source: TODAY By Meghan Holohan “Don’t worry” falls short when someone experiences anxiety. There are better things to say when a love one needs support. Everyone experiences anxiety differently, but if you’ve ever been around someone who is having a panic attack, suggesting “Try not to worry” is not the best […]

Drug Abuse

New Resource: Rehabcenter.net

December 18, 2018 1 Comment

I added this great resource to Organizations Who Can Help, on the right at the top. Please take a look to see if they can help you or someone you know. Rehabcenter.net proudly offers an extensive list of centers, rehab programs and treatment facilities to choose from. It is important to keep in mind there are many different factors that […]

Men & Womens Health

Michael Phelps Speaks Out About Battling Depression, Anxiety

November 26, 2018 2 Comments

By David Konow 10/30/18 “I was so down on myself. I didn’t have any self-love and, quite honestly, I just didn’t want to be alive.” Michael Phelps has won 28 Olympic medals, but despite his incredible history as a swimmer he’s also had serious bouts with depression, anxiety and alcoholism. Since getting help, Phelps has been very open with the public about what he went through, but he recently admitted on Today that he’s “struggling weekly” with his mental health. “From time to time, I’ll have bad days where I do go into a depression state,” Phelps said. “Being an athlete, you’re supposed to be strong and be able to push through anything. My struggles carried on through my career and I hid them well. There are so many people who struggle from very similar things that I go through and still go through… At times, it was a little scary and challenging to go through, but I found a way to get through it and I’m addressing these issues that I have.” Phelps has certainly come a long way since he hit his personal bottom in October 2014. Phelps said he was so engulfed in despair, he couldn’t leave the house for five days and felt suicidal. He admitted that he had “at least half a dozen depression spells” before this one. He recalled, “I was so down on myself. I didn’t have any self-love and quite honestly, I just didn’t want to be alive. It […]

Bullying

Highway to Hell Part 2

September 30, 2018 9 Comments

Childhoods antics which landed my brother or me in trouble. I have to start with my favorite story, you’ll get a better idea of who I am. At recess in third grade I told the teacher I HAD to go to bathroom. NO, go back and play. Back to teacher few minutes later I HAVE TO GO! You’re just saying […]

Caregiver

A Love Letter To Realism In A Time Of Grief

September 10, 2018 1 Comment

TED TALKS: A Love Letter To Realism In A Time Of Grief. Mark and Simone share the difficulties of having a relationship with Mark who is blind and paralyzed. They are honest, it made me look inside and think if I was strong enough or do I love enough. The connection as a couple and their combined strength is amazing. […]

Survivor

Domestic Violence thru the eyes of a Child

September 4, 2018 32 Comments

Tears started my day, who knows what triggered the thought of this post and song. M Original post 4/26/2015 I witnessed my mother beat emotionally and physically everyday, it created chaos in my young mind. A tornado burned a hole in my heart. I couldn’t understand the feelings of pain when abused and watching abuse. Child abuse leaves a deep […]

Childhood Learning

Our Teen Struggled With Addiction,We Made An Unthinkable Decision

August 1, 2018 5 Comments

My 15-year-old daughter Hannah threatened to cut off my thumbs, kill me in my sleep, and burn down the house with our family inside. Such was the power of her addiction, turning her from moody to malicious in a few short months. “Let me go,” she screamed. “I don’t want to live with you people.” She fought us as we […]

Depression

We Don’t Talk Much About Debt and Depression. This Blogger Is Changing That

July 31, 2018 3 Comments

Media

TED Talk: Why We Do What We Do

June 25, 2018 1 Comment

Child Abuse

About Me

June 14, 2018 2 Comments

I am a Survivor After years of therapy and my grandparents love, I was pulled from the abyss. I have a clear heart, no anger or self loathing. Not forgiving….forgetting, allowing me to move forward. Over the years, people brought sunshine into my life. I can’t thank them enough. You were like Angels dropping in when I needed a push or […]

Mental Illness

Youth Suicide-Related Hospitaliztions Has Nearly Doubled

June 13, 2018 1 Comment

By Bethany Bray May 31, 2018 Recent research has revealed an alarming development: The number of youth admitted to the hospital for a suicide attempt or suicidal ideation nearly doubled between 2008 and 2015. The findings, published in the May 2018 issue of the journal Pediatrics, analyzed seven years of billing data for emergency room and inpatient visits at children’s […]

Abuse

Why do men have so many eating disorders?

June 12, 2018 1 Comment

MEN”S HEALTH Chris Marvin had a secret morning ritual that he practiced in college. Sunlight creeping through drawn shades, he’d roll out of bed around 7 a.m. with a pounding head. After making sure his door was locked, he’d rummage through drawers and the depths of his mini fridge. Then, on a white marble desk that would have been pristine […]

Abuse

Nacional Online de Asalto Sexual

June 6, 2018 6 Comments

La Línea de Ayuda Nacional Online de Asalto Sexual Gratis. Confidencial. Segura. Chat AhoraLa Sala De AyudaLlame al 800.656.4673 La Sala de Ayuda Converse con otros sobrevivientes del asalto sexual en un espacio seguro y confidencial entre las 7 p.m a 9 p.m. tiempo del este, todos los Miércoles y Sábado. Línea de Ayuda Online RAINN ofrece apoyo gratuito las 24 horas al día, 7 días por semana para los sobrevivientes de la violencia sexual y sus seres queridos. ¿Cómo es el consentimiento? – Cuando usted está comenzando una relación sexual, el consentimiento se trata de la comunicación. Y se la debe tener cada vez. ¿Qué es un kit para casos de violación? – La evidencia de ADN en un crimen como del asalto sexual, se puede recolectar en el lugar de los hechos, pero además se puede recolectar de su cuerpo, su ropa y otros artículos personales. Planificación de la seguridad – La planificación de la seguridad se trata de pensar en las formas que puede permanecer segura(o) lo cual también puede disminuir el riesgo de perjuicios en el futuro. Consejos para los sobrevivientes sobre los medios – Los medios de comunicación pueden ser una gran herramienta para aumentar la concientización pública sobre la violencia sexual, pero también pueden presentar retos para algunos sobrevivientes. Después de un asalto/abuso sexual – Es difícil saber qué hacer, qué sentir y cuáles son sus opciones después de un abuso sexual. Ayúdele a ese ser querido – No siempre es fácil saber qué decir […]

Family

New Resources for LGBT Community

June 6, 2018 2 Comments

New resourses for LGBT community provided by RAINN.org National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs: A coalition of programs that document and advocate for victims of anti-LGBT and anti-HIV/AIDS violence/harassment, domestic violence, sexual assault, police misconduct and other forms of victimization. Site has a list of local anti-violence programs and publications. Hotline: 212.714.1141 The Trevor Project: Help and suicide prevention for LGBTQ youth. Hotline: 866.488.7386 GLBT National Hotline: Call center that refers to over 15,000 resources across the country that support LGBTQ individuals. Hotline: 888.THE.GLNH (843.4564) pen pals, weekly LQB and T chatrooms for youth Association for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Issues in Counseling:Directory of LGBT-friendly mental health specialists across the United States. Specialists listed are verified members of AGLBTIC, a division of the American Counseling Association. FORGE (For Ourselves: Reworking Gender Expression): Home to the Transgender Sexual Violence Project. Provides services and publishes research for transgender persons experiencing violence and their loved ones.

Child Abuse

Brad’s Story of Sexual Abuse and Survival

June 6, 2018 2 Comments

Provided by RAINN Brad’s Story “Once I finally had the courage to speak, I was surprised by the compassionate reactions and the support and love I got. I realized the healing could begin and I wished I had done it a long time ago.” Brad Simpson was groomed and sexually abused by a private sports trainer from age nine to his […]

Depression

How To Start A Conversation About Suicide

June 6, 2018 5 Comments

This is a must see video. Jeremy Forbes shares great information to help you have a real conversation with a friend or love one. I did not see the twist coming, he’s a Survivor. M

Abuse

Guilty Verdict in Cosby Trail is a Victory for Survivors

May 1, 2018 5 Comments

PUBLIC POLICY SEXUAL ASSAULT Guilty Verdict in Cosby Trial is a Victory for Survivors APR 30, 2018 Following years of allegations of sexual assault, Bill Cosby has been found guilty on three counts of aggravated indecent sexual assault against Andrea Constand. The trial included testimony from five of Cosby’s victims, in addition to Constand. In an amicus brief filed in the case, […]

Child Abuse

RAINN: Effects of Trauma on Mental Health

May 1, 2018 1 Comment

SEXUAL ASSAULT Effects of Trauma on Mental Health “Every survivor’s healing journey is unique and it’s crucial that we’re aware of the effects trauma can have on mental health,” said Keeli Sorensen, vice president of victim services at RAINN. “It’s time to start speaking openly about mental health concerns, and dismantle the environment of shame, fear, and silence that too often prevents […]

Bipolar Disorder