The hidden abuse that can hurt your mental health: Gaslighting

Nearly half the women and men in the U.S. say they’ve endured psychological aggression from intimate partners. OCT. 4, 201903:45Oct. 4, 2019, 6:22 AM CDTBy Bianca Seidman Domestic abuse is a leading problem in American homes and it can take many different forms. When the abuse leaves no physical marks, outsiders may not recognize when all is not well and the abused person can find it challenging to translate what’s happening. “Gaslighting” — a term that became popular after the 1944 movie “Gaslight,” in which a husband slowly makes his wife think she’s going crazy through a long game of deceptions — is an insidious form of psychological abuse. It’s an intricate web of lies woven to break down one partner’s sense of self-worth and perception of what is real. “When you’re black and blue, you can point to the bruises and you can say ‘This happened to me,’” Dr. Robin Stern, associate director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, told TODAY. “But when somebody is undermining your reality and you simply have this feeling that there’s something wrong … women moreso than men, but men too, tend to point their fingers at themselves and say, ‘I did something wrong.’” Nearly half of all women and men in the U.S. said they’ve been subjected to psychological aggression by an intimate partner, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. How couples can spot warning signs of domestic abuse OCT. 3, 201906:42 […]

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Domestic Violence thru the eyes of a Child

Tears started my day, who knows what triggered the thought of this post and song.  M Original post 4/26/2015 I witnessed my mother beat emotionally and physically everyday, it created chaos in my young mind. A tornado burned a hole in my heart. I couldn’t understand the feelings of pain when abused and watching abuse. Child abuse leaves a deep […]

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Why PTSD Is a Mental Injury, Not a Mental Illness

Psychology Today Posted Sep 23, 2019 Tracy S. Hutchinson, Ph.D. New research suggests that PTSD is a normal response to common life events.   According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 7.7 million adults suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Along with a surge of awareness regarding PTSD, there are also many misconceptions. For example, some believe it is only associated with war veterans, events such as 9/11, or natural disasters. Although this diagnosis has historically been associated with military veterans who undergo multiple deployments, there are many other events that can trigger symptoms of PTSD. For example, prolonged exposure to emotional and psychological abuse (e.g., verbally abusive relationships, alcoholism, or stressful childhoods) are risk factors for developing symptoms. Some of these lingering misconceptions may be due to the fact that development and recognition of the disorder is relatively recent and has really only blossomed in the last three decades. History In 1980, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) formally recognized PTSD as an actual mental health diagnosis. Historically, it had been formally recognized as “shell shock” and was thought only to occur in military war veterans. Further, PTSD had historically been thought of as something that someone “gets over” over time. This may be true for some, but it isn’t for others. Researchers continue to discover risk factors that can cause PTSD symptoms. This includes emerging research on the study of what happens in childhood and how it affects adults in their lifetime (van Der Kolk, 2014). For example, some of my clients […]

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We Don’t Talk Much About Debt and Depression. This Blogger Is Changing That

Melanie Lockert remembers checking the traffic for her blog, Dear Debt, and feeling shocked at the results. Someone had found her site by searching, “I want to kill myself because of debt.” Lockert started Dear Debt in January 2013 after spending the previous year feeling depressed about her student loans. She posted monthly updates about her efforts to pay off […]

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RAINN Stands with LGBTQ Survivors

RAINN Newsletter JUN 03, 2019   Each June, communities and individuals around the world recognize pride month—a joyful celebration of all genders and sexualities as well as a solemn reminder of the difficulties many lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) people continue to face. Sexual violence is an issue that affects all people, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. LGBTQ […]

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Survivor & So Much More *First Posted 4/21/2014*

I am alive, happy, productive and helping other Survivors. I’m very blessed. My childhood and teenage years were so difficult I truly believed suicide was the only answer. My first attempt was at 9 years old, I took all the pills in my dad’s medicine cabinet. I got a buzz then my stomach pumped. Suicide was always on my mind since the abuse was every day. If it wasn’t physical abuse, it was constant mental abuse by my mother. At the same time, I saw my mother physically and emotionally abused by my alcoholic stepfather. At 13 years old I left my abusive life behind. It sounds great but you are so wounded you don’t want to look anyone in the eye, they may hit you or call you names. My mind stripped down and filled with trash, my mother took every drop of confidence I had. Over time my confidence grew and I started building who I am today. I did get called names and had a couple good fights. Sounds like any teenager trying to spread their wings. I have many unresolved emotions, responses, and fears. Who doesn’t? What I can say for sure, I’m a survivor and so much more. Survivors have to dig really deep after being kicked down. It took years for me to discover what I liked and longer to get over my fear of failure. My mother told me I was stupid all the time. I know better […]

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For school shooting survivors, trauma has no time limit

Associated Press April 18, 2019 By TERRY SPENCER, KELLI KENNEDY and COLLEEN SLEVIN PARKLAND, Fla. (AP) — Alex Rozenblat can still hear the cries of a wounded boy calling for help as she hid from the gunfire that killed 17 people at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School last year. Talking to therapists at the school in Parkland, Florida, didn’t help. Each session had a different counselor, and she found herself rehashing traumas she had already expressed. She would rather turn to her friends, who understand what she went through. “There is slight pressure to get better as quickly as you can, and since it’s been a year, everyone thinks that you are better,” the 16-year-old said. The mental health resources after a school shooting range from therapy dogs and grief counselors at school to support groups, art therapy and in-home counseling. But there is no blueprint for dealing with the trauma because each tragedy, survivor and community is different. Many survivors don’t get counseling right away — sometimes waiting years — making it difficult to understand the full impact. The struggle is getting them to seek help in the first place. In the two decades since the Columbine High School massacre, a network of survivors has emerged, reaching out to the newest victims to offer support that many say they prefer to traditional therapy. As the anguish festers, the danger grows, illustrated by the recent suicides of two Marjory Stoneman Douglas survivors […]

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Johnathon’s Story

RAINN “I’ve been told my entire life that it was impossible for this kind of thing to happen to me.”  Johnathon Cassidy was sexually assaulted by a stranger he met while at a local bar. The perpetrator put a date-rape drug in Johnathon’s drink, sexually assaulted him in a car, stole his personal belongings, and left him unconscious at a bus stop. “When I was raped I was 6’4” and 220 lbs. I truly believed that I could go anywhere I wanted and no one would bother me—I’m part Samoan, I’m hefty, I wear cowboy boots that make me even taller—I was the defender. Everyone always said ‘Go with Johnny, you’ll be safe with him.’ I’ve been told my entire life that it was impossible for this kind of thing to happen to me.” A week after the assault, Johnathon told his best friend at the time what had happened. He reacted in an unsupportive way, making it seem like the assault was an inconvenience because it happened at their favorite bar. He told Johnathon that he wanted to go back to the bar and pressured him into returning. “I was too ashamed to say I was afraid to go and I didn’t want to make my friend feel awkward. So I went back. It was a horrible experience, and to this day he doesn’t realize the impact his response had on me.” Meet Johnathon 5 words that describe me: Creative Adventurous Determined Sarcastic Optimistic […]

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Update from MaleSurvivor Board of Directors

Dear Friends, I want to thank you on behalf of MaleSurvivor, our Board of Directors, our staff, our members, and the thousands of survivors who visit our website and frequent our Discussion Forum and Chat Room. Your stalwart support as an Advisory Board member facilitates our ongoing efforts to remain the premier place of learning, sharing and healing for male survivors across the country and abroad. The Board of Directors […]

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The Healing Power of Telling Your Trauma Story

Psychology Today  March 6, 2019 Seth J. Gillihan Ph.D. Think, Act, Be When we’ve survived an extremely upsetting event, it can be painful to revisit the memory. Many of us would prefer not to talk about it, whether it was a car accident, fire, assault, medical emergency, or something else. However, our trauma memoriescan continue to haunt us, even — or especially — if we try to avoid them. The more we push away the memory, the more the thoughts tend to intrude on our minds, as many research studies have shown. If and how we decide to share our trauma memories is a very personal choice, and we have to choose carefully those we entrust with this part of ourselves. When we do choose to tell our story to someone we trust, the following benefits may await. (Please note that additional considerations are often necessary for those with severe and prolonged experiences of trauma or abuse, as noted below.) 1. Feelings of shame subside.  Keeping trauma a secret can reinforce the feeling that there’s something shameful about what happened — or even about oneself on a more fundamental level. We might believe that others will think less of us if we tell them about our traumatic experience. When we tell our story and find support instead of shame or criticism, we discover we having nothing to hide. You might even notice a shift in your posture over time — that thinking about or describing your trauma no longer makes […]

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1 in 6 Special Message From Anthony Edwards

Dear 1in6 Family, I wanted to take a moment and send a personal note to share a powerful and moving experience from this past week. On Wednesday, I had the incredible honor of joining an audience of survivors of sexual abuse, as well as others whose lives have been impacted, for a special screening of the two-part documentary “Leaving Neverland,” which will premiere this Sunday, March 3rd and Monday the 4th on HBO. The documentary introduces two incredible men, both survivors of sexual abuse, Wade Robson and James Safechuck. As a leading national organization helping male-identifying survivors of sexual abuse and assault, 1in6 both provided feedback to HBO on the effect of airing this powerful documentary, and recommended resources for survivors. Through this relationship, 1in6 was invited to participate in the taping of a television special, “Oprah Winfrey Presents: After Neverland,” immediately following the screening. As many television specials do, it all came together in a matter of days. Matthew Ennis, 1in6 President & Chief Executive Officer, reached out and asked if I would briefly share my story with Oprah and the audience. A short time later, Matthew and I joined over 150 fellow survivors and their guests in a theatre near New York’s Times Square for the taping. The cavernous room was filled with a positive energy I will not soon forget. Oprah, who has been a lifelong supporter of survivors and the complexities of their stories, brought us all together for an honest and probing discussion of abuse. […]

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I Am Not…..I Am

I Am Not  Chronic Lyme Fibromyalgia Dementia Neuropathy Agrophobic Shut-in Over-focused on illness Stagnate Guilty Hopeless Looking for sympathy I am A Women Wife Dog mother Sister Determined Honest Caring to a fault Loving Scared Have high goals Living with symptoms Strong willed Open minded Writer Student Not a player Which one do you like? 

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Male Trauma Survivor’s

OF NOTE Facilitating Male Trauma Survivors’ Meaningful Involvement in Health Research   Sexual abuse is an international problem and an often overlooked public health issue for men and boys. Given the prevalence of trauma and its well-documented connection to mental and physical health disorders, the relevance of male survivor input and engagement in healthcare research is profound.   With funding […]

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Bloques de carreteras en la vida

Todos golpeamos las carreteras en la vida, algunas semanas duraderas, otros años. Para sobrevivir a la paliza que tiene que permanecer centrado en los pasos hacia adelante, incluso los pasos nano están avanzando. Tuve la suerte, el abuso, el trauma y el odio propio comenzaron cuando era muy joven. Crecí oyendo lo estúpido que me convencí de que era verdad. […]

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Road Blocks in Life

We all hit road blocks in life, some lasting weeks, others years. To survive the beat down you have to remain focused on forward steps, even nano steps are moving forward. I was lucky, abuse, trauma and self-hatred started while very young. Growing up hearing how stupid I was convinced me it was true. I was abused, sexually abused and […]

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Friday Quote

  Helen Keller Friendship, Light, Friend, Alone, Better Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence. Helen Keller Motivational, Confidence, Hope, Faith The best.  Most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart. Helen Keller Inspirational Beautiful, Heart, Best Walking with […]

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RAINN: Marissa’s Story

“When I speak authentically and truthfully about my experience, I have power. I am not going away.” Marissa Hoechstetter was repeatedly sexually assaulted by the OB-GYN she saw during her pregnancy, the delivery of her twin daughters, and follow-up appointments. The perpetrator was well-regarded in the field and was recommended to Marissa by a friend. At the time of the incidents, Marissa trusted her doctor’s treatment and was focused on making sure her pregnancy went well. “With medical professionals, there’s often a legitimate reason for why their hands are on your body. There’s a gray area and the minute you step into their office, they have power over you,” says Marissa. “Looking back, there were a lot of things that felt odd, but I was pregnant and focused on my babies and after all, this person was the uncle of a close friend of mine.” During one visit after her twins were born, Marissa recognized that the behavior crossed medical boundaries and knew immediately that something was wrong. “I felt it happen and froze. I never went back.” Despite continuing to feel for years that what had happened was wrong, Marissa chose not to report because she was immersed in being a new mother and found herself minimizing her own experience in comparison to other stories of sexual assault. “It just kept coming back to me how wrong it was, but I had one-year-old twins and was working full-time. I didn’t have the ability to […]

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Once unwanted, these dogs are now on the front lines of wildlife conservation

Ideas TED Talks Nov 6, 2018 / Rebekah Barnett These incredible pups catch poachers, sniff out invasive plants and diseases, and more, thanks to the work of wildlife biologist and conservation-dog expert Megan Parker. What happens to those dogs that are just too much dog for people to handle? “You know them — you go to your friend’s barbecue, their dog is so happy to see you that she pees on your feet, and she drops a slobbery ball in your lap,” says Megan Parker (TEDxJacksonHole talk: Dogs for Conservation), a wildlife biologist and dog expert based in Bozeman, Montana. “You throw it to get as much distance between you and the dog as possible, but she keeps coming back with the ball. By the 950th throw, you’re thinking, Why don’t they get rid of this dog?” All too often, their owners reach the same conclusion and leave their pet at a shelter. Thanks to Parker and the team at Working Dogs for Conservation (WD4C), some of these dogs have found a new leash lease on life. They’re using their olfactory abilities and unstoppable drive in a wide variety of earth-friendly ways, working with human handlers to sniff out illegal poachers and smugglers, track endangered species, and spot destructive invasive plants and animals. Chai is shown here with a trainer. After a dog learns to recognize a particular scent, the education isn’t over — their handler works with them regularly so they maintain their skills. These days, you can find this […]

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Is it Passive-Aggression, or Just Fear of Expressing Your Needs?

By Mike Bundrant ~ 3 min read I wrote an article recently on the various ways in which passive-aggressive behavior can undermine and destroy relationships. And it certainly can do just that. But as I was outlining the behaviors and language typically associated with the passive-aggressive personality, I couldn’t help but feel that several of the traits and habits seemed […]

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New Resource: Rehabcenter.net

I added this great resource to Organizations Who Can Help, on the right at the top. Please take a look to see if they can help you or someone you know. Rehabcenter.net proudly offers an extensive list of centers, rehab programs and treatment facilities to choose from. It is important to keep in mind there are many different factors that […]

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Michael Phelps Speaks Out About Battling Depression, Anxiety

By David Konow 10/30/18 “I was so down on myself. I didn’t have any self-love and, quite honestly, I just didn’t want to be alive.”  Michael Phelps has won 28 Olympic medals, but despite his incredible history as a swimmer he’s also had serious bouts with depression, anxiety and alcoholism. Since getting help, Phelps has been very open with the public about what he went through, but he recently admitted on Today that he’s “struggling weekly” with his mental health. “From time to time, I’ll have bad days where I do go into a depression state,” Phelps said. “Being an athlete, you’re supposed to be strong and be able to push through anything. My struggles carried on through my career and I hid them well. There are so many people who struggle from very similar things that I go through and still go through… At times, it was a little scary and challenging to go through, but I found a way to get through it and I’m addressing these issues that I have.” Phelps has certainly come a long way since he hit his personal bottom in October 2014. Phelps said he was so engulfed in despair, he couldn’t leave the house for five days and felt suicidal. He admitted that he had “at least half a dozen depression spells” before this one. He recalled, “I was so down on myself. I didn’t have any self-love and quite honestly, I just didn’t want to be alive. It […]

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Highway to Hell *Part 2*

Childhoods antics which landed my brother or me in trouble.  I have to start with my favorite story, you’ll get a better idea of who I am. At recess in third grade I told the teacher I HAD to go to bathroom. NO, go back and play. Back to teacher few minutes later I HAVE TO GO! You’re just saying […]

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We Don’t Talk Much About Debt and Depression. This Blogger Is Changing That

Melanie Lockert remembers checking the traffic for her blog, Dear Debt, and feeling shocked at the results. Someone had found her site by searching, “I want to kill myself because of debt.” Lockert started Dear Debt in January 2013 after spending the previous year feeling depressed about her student loans. She posted monthly updates about her efforts to pay off […]

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About Me

I am a Survivor After years of therapy and my grandparents love, I was pulled from the abyss. I have a clear heart, no anger or self loathing. Not forgiving….forgetting, allowing me to move forward. Over the years, people brought sunshine into my life. I can’t thank them enough. You were like Angels dropping in when I needed a push or […]

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Why do men have so many eating disorders?

MEN”S HEALTH Chris Marvin had a secret morning ritual that he practiced in college. Sunlight creeping through drawn shades, he’d roll out of bed around 7 a.m. with a pounding head. After making sure his door was locked, he’d rummage through drawers and the depths of his mini fridge. Then, on a white marble desk that would have been pristine […]

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Nacional Online de Asalto Sexual

La Línea de Ayuda Nacional Online de Asalto Sexual Gratis. Confidencial. Segura. Chat AhoraLa Sala De AyudaLlame al 800.656.4673 La Sala de Ayuda Converse con otros sobrevivientes del asalto sexual en un espacio seguro y confidencial entre las 7 p.m a 9 p.m. tiempo del este, todos los Miércoles y Sábado. Línea de Ayuda Online RAINN ofrece apoyo gratuito las 24 horas al día, 7 días por semana para los sobrevivientes de la violencia sexual y sus seres queridos. ¿Cómo es el consentimiento? – Cuando usted está comenzando una relación sexual, el consentimiento se trata de la comunicación. Y se la debe tener cada vez. ¿Qué es un kit para casos de violación? – La evidencia de ADN en un crimen como del asalto sexual, se puede recolectar en el lugar de los hechos, pero además se puede recolectar de su cuerpo, su ropa y otros artículos personales. Planificación de la seguridad – La planificación de la seguridad se trata de pensar en las formas que puede permanecer segura(o) lo cual también puede disminuir el riesgo de perjuicios en el futuro. Consejos para los sobrevivientes sobre los medios – Los medios de comunicación pueden ser una gran herramienta para aumentar la concientización pública sobre la violencia sexual, pero también pueden presentar retos para algunos sobrevivientes. Después de un asalto/abuso sexual – Es difícil saber qué hacer, qué sentir y cuáles son sus opciones después de un abuso sexual. Ayúdele a ese ser querido – No siempre es fácil saber qué decir […]

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New Resources for LGBT Community

New resourses for LGBT community provided by RAINN.org National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs: A coalition of programs that document and advocate for victims of anti-LGBT and anti-HIV/AIDS violence/harassment, domestic violence, sexual assault, police misconduct and other forms of victimization. Site has a list of local anti-violence programs and publications. Hotline: 212.714.1141 The Trevor Project: Help and suicide prevention for LGBTQ youth. Hotline: 866.488.7386 GLBT National Hotline: Call center that refers to over 15,000 resources across the country that support LGBTQ individuals. Hotline: 888.THE.GLNH (843.4564) pen pals, weekly LQB and T chatrooms for youth Association for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Issues in Counseling:Directory of LGBT-friendly mental health specialists across the United States. Specialists listed are verified members of AGLBTIC, a division of the American Counseling Association. FORGE (For Ourselves: Reworking Gender Expression): Home to the Transgender Sexual Violence Project. Provides services and publishes research for transgender persons experiencing violence and their loved ones.

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Guilty Verdict in Cosby Trail is a Victory for Survivors

PUBLIC POLICY SEXUAL ASSAULT Guilty Verdict in Cosby Trial is a Victory for Survivors APR 30, 2018 Following years of allegations of sexual assault, Bill Cosby has been found guilty on three counts of aggravated indecent sexual assault against Andrea Constand. The trial included testimony from five of Cosby’s victims, in addition to Constand. In an amicus brief filed in the case, […]

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RAINN: Effects of Trauma on Mental Health

SEXUAL ASSAULT Effects of Trauma on Mental Health “Every survivor’s healing journey is unique and it’s crucial that we’re aware of the effects trauma can have on mental health,” said Keeli Sorensen, vice president of victim services at RAINN. “It’s time to start speaking openly about mental health concerns, and dismantle the environment of shame, fear, and silence that too often prevents […]

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I Have Bipolar And I Am Not Violent

Reblogged from our friend Amy Gamble at http://www.amygamble.wordpress.com I had an opportunity to teach a group of school teachers about mental illness. After last weeks Florida school shooting I was prepared for questions about mental illness and violence. It’s beyond sad this is an ever occurring topic. But what happens to those of us who live with a mental illness […]

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Survivors Blog Here Welcomes Heidi Sullivan from Braving Mental Illness

Survivors Blog Here is thrilled to announce Heidi Sullivan is our newest Contributor. Heidi is inspirational and committed to helping people with Mental Health challenges. Please stop by to meet Heidi and check out her personal site http://www.bravingmentalillness.com I took the below information from Heidi’s ”About Me”page. She is so committed to share, help and answer questions. She is committed and […]

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Bring Change To Mind

My daughter lost her battle with mental illness on March 19, 2013. She had just turned 23 years old. She was studying for the MCAT, and planned to cure cancer. She was curious and gentle and loving. She was too young. The pain of losing Emily is indescribable. And, I truly did not know how I would ever be able to move forward. In some ways, I do not think that I ever will be able to really move on from it. But, I knew that I had to try. Two weeks after we buried Emily, my sister saw one of Bring Change to Mind’s PSAs on television and told me that I needed to check out the organization. A month after my first conversation with the Executive Director, I joined the BC2M Board of Directors. After weeks of seemingly insurmountable heartache, I finally had a place to channel all of my emotions into something that felt productive. I had an opportunity to work with an organization dedicated to erasing the deadly stigma that surrounds mental illness. I had a chance to try and prevent another parent from going through what I had experienced. After Emily passed away, it felt as though I had become a member a club that I never wanted to join – a club for people who have lost a loved one to mental illness. No one wants to be a part of this club. And, I think that I speak for all of us who are united by loss […]

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What It All Means

This video floored me, it’s real for me, he spoke works to come from my mouth, Jim was able to show the guts, inside, raw communication and how struggles are battled. I ran across this last week, I don’t know who to give credit to. I’ve watched over and over and each time I see one of my dark times, suicidal journeys and crawling back from hell. I hope you will watch and reblog on. Everyone can learn from the inside look of depression.  M

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Celebrate with Me, Yesterday I…..

Most know I have Chronic Lyme Diseases, ill for several years and still house bound. I didn’t realize until recently I had developed Agoraphobia created an additional challenge getting behind the wheel. Lyme Diseases left me with early onset of Dementia, my balance is not the best and remembering is my biggest challenge. I’m taking medicine for Dementia and have seen improvement. […]

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How should we talk about mental health?

IDEAS.TED.COM DEC 18, 2013 / Thu-Huong Ha Mental health suffers from a major image problem. One in every four people experiences mental health issues — yet more than 40 percent of countries worldwide have no mental health policy. Across the board it seems like we have no idea how to talk about it respectfully and responsibly. Stigma and discrimination are […]

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Children’s Bureau: Law and Policies

Laws & Policies Listen The Children’s Bureau provides guidance to states, tribes, child welfare agencies, and more on the complex and varied federal laws as they relate to child welfare. What’s New in Laws & Policies This page provides resources and information about new federal legislation, regulations, and Children’s Bureau policies. Child Welfare Policy Manual The Child Welfare Policy Manual […]

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Yale Observes Breast Cancer Awareness Month

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. If you’re looking to increase your own awareness, join learners around the globe in Dr. Anees Chagpar’s “Introduction to Breast Cancer.” The course caters to a wide audience ranging from medical professionals to those personally affected by the disease. Dr. Chagpar says “by understanding breast cancer better, people can breathe easier and the […]

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See Charity Navigator Before You Donate

Charity Navigator will guide you to Charities who are physically responsible. The information provided is enough to make a sound decision on how much of your donation will go to people supported by the Charity. It was and eye opener when I started researching charities to support, some were spending 85% on the CEO salary and administrative cost. Your money […]

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California’s Sexual Assault Survivors’ Bill of Rights Signed into Law

Overjoyed at the success of California passing the first Sexual Assault Bill of Rights in 2016. Why not a NATIONAL LAW? Men and women sexual assault survivors deserve protection across America.  M Amanda Nguyen and her organization Rise, starting a Change.org petition. Her passion and dedication helped protect 25 million sexual assault survivors.  HELP California Rape Survivors!   Victory — On […]

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Teen who says Anthony Weiner sexted her shows her face for first time

The teenager whose online relationship with Anthony Weiner threw Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign into a tailspin is revealing her face for the first time. In an interview that will air in full on Monday, the teenager told Inside Edition how quickly the messages she exchanged with the disgraced New York congressman turned lurid. Read: Sydney Leathers Weighs In on Weiner’s Latest Scandal: ‘He’s Quite the Egomaniac’ […]

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Police say Delaware man raped girl 250 times over 5 years

Dreamtime-header tree

Delaware police say a man repeatedly raped the same girl 250 times over the course of five years. 41-year-old Richard White Jr. was recently indicted on 11 counts of second-degree rape, four counts of sexual exploitation of a child and possession of child porn. Police detail that the raping started back in 2012. https://www.aol.com/article/news/2017/09/08/police-say-delaware-man-raped-girl-250-times-over-5-years/23201925/

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Sincerely, X Audio Podcast Episode 8

SINCERELY, X AUDIO PODCAST This week on Sincerely, X, a podcast from TED and Audible where speakers share ideas anonymously. Episode 8 features a woman whose bravery after a devastating assault allowed her to reclaim her own personal power. Available now on Apple Podcasts, the TED Android app, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

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The Respect Award From Friend Danica Piche

The Respect Award comes to me from Danica Piche at Living The Beautiful Life.   Hugs to you my dear friend. I’m honored.  If you’re not already following her blog, you are missing a slice of the pie. http://www.danicapiche@wordpress.com What is the Respect Award? The Respect Award is given by Rob once a year to acknowledge and show respect to fellow bloggers who, in his words, make him a better blogger and make him feel human.  They also: are compassionate, witty, interesting, rebellious, imaginative, patient, open-minded, and creative. are generous with their words and support; they walk their talk. raise spirits and make people smile.  What are the rules for The Respect Award? Nominees don’t have to do a thing.  Nothing. This is a no obligation award, which means you don’t have to nominate anyone. I’m taking the award at face value of doing nothing. A Big Texas thank y’all  to everyone who follows, comments, likes, or peaks in my blog. M

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The Respect Award From Friend Robert Goldstein

The Respect Award comes to me from Robert at Art by Rob Goldstein.  Thank you so much, Robert.  My Blog is Award Free, I accept for the reason of no commitment. This is the second year to receive the award, I’m very grateful. If you’re not already following his blog, please pay him a visit —your world will never be the same. What is the Respect Award? The Respect Award is given by Rob once a year to acknowledge and show respect to fellow bloggers who, in his words, make him a better blogger and make him feel human.  They also: are compassionate, witty, interesting, rebellious, imaginative, patient, open-minded, and creative. are generous with their words and support; they walk their talk. raise spirits and make people smile.  What are the rules for The Respect Award? Nominees don’t have to do a thing. Nothing. I plan the do nothing route. Thanks again Robert. A huge Texas thank y’all to everyone who follows, comments, likes, or drops in for a peak.   Melinda

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Charitable Organization: Men’s Movement 

I’m honored to join the community at Men’s Movement. Being apart of the men’s community, sharing to help others always fills me with sunshine. There is another important aspect to joining the community, expanding my knowledge. I can’t speak for men and how they process mental illness or other trauma. I urge you to check out the site, http://www.mensmovement.com Exciting […]

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Update On Twitter Advocacy Success: *Let’s Celebrate*

Five weeks ago I broadened my Advocacy work by jumping on Twitter. On 7/5/17 there were 100 followers, today the number is 1,962. What a nice surprise. The configuration on my Twitter timeline only shows the organizations I follow. The timeline updates twice a day focussing on organizations I follow, avoiding the toxic dump. I’m writing for Men’s Movement in Sweden. My first […]

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Texas Becomes First in Nation to Implement Comprehensive Rape Kit Reform

“Hope. Courage. Freedom. Fearlessness. All things are possible with an open heart—and a joyful heart.” — Mariska Hargitay, Founder & President NEW YORK – The Joyful Heart Foundation today announced that Texas has become the first state in the nation to implement comprehensive rape kit reform. With the passage of H.B. 281, which requires the Department of Public Safety to […]

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Triple Shot Thursday *Rebirth, Love and True Friends*

Rebirth, life lessons, stretching, separation, payback Unconditional Love, what if, can I count on, will you be there Real Friends, love, anger, time apart, life at stake, friends are the last to give up I listened to new songs tonight, wanting something to kick me hard, make me think. What do I stand for? I stand for truth, falling to pieces, rebirth, existence, people who would die for my life. My life isn’t complete, there’s many potholes, shame, fear and depression. I know in my heart Life Is About To Get Good.  I hope you enjoy.  M

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Beyond ADHD-Overcoming the Label and Thriving by Jeff Emmerson

I met Author Jeff Emmerson on Twitter, he’s motivating, a tireless advocate for Mental Heath and shines a bright light on ADHD for which he was misdiagnosed. Jeff’s book Beyond ADHD-Overcoming the Label and Thriving is on pre-order at Amazon and with an August release date.           By Jeff Emmerson and Robert Yehling Beyond ADHD weaves Emmerson’s personal story of his ADHD diagnosis, exploring along the way the latest medical, scientific and societal explanations and tools for managing and living with the condition. Including interviews with a number of experts at the forefront of next-generation ADHD diagnostics and treatment, he questions the cookie-cutter way ADHD is commonly diagnosed and treated. Suggesting that the list of symptoms often used to identify ADHD can be attributed to many other disorders and conditions, he explores how and why ADHD diagnoses have increased by 50% in the last ten years. Jeff Emmerson is a mental health advocate, popular video blogger and leading social media figure focused on reframing how we view ADHD, with a passionate mission to prevent mis- and over-diagnoses, and help people whose lives are impacted by the condition. He has more than 600,000 followers on his @IAmJeffEmmerson Twitter account, 15,000+ LinkedIn connections, a large viewership on YouTube, and is currently gaining about 7,500 followers per week. His e-mail list has over 26,000 subscribers. Emmerson is aligned with a number of leading medical, neuroscience and behavioral experts, many […]

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Understanding Your State Law on Rape Kit Reform

END THE BACKLOG is an initiative of the Joyful Heart Foundation to shine a light on the backlog of untested rape kits throughout the United States. Our goal is to end this injustice by conducting groundbreaking research identifying the extent of the nation’s backlog and best practices for eliminating it, expanding the national dialogue on rape kit testing through increased public awareness, engaging communities and government agencies and officials and advocating for comprehensive rape kit reform legislation and policies at the local, state and federal levels. We urge you to learn more about the backlog, where it exists and why it matters. We invite you to take action and support efforts to test rape kits. Help us send the message that we must take rape seriously.  Survivors’ Voices Drive Rape Kit Reform in Texas Today’s guest author is Wendy Davis, former Texas state senator and founder of the advocacy organization Deeds Not Words. Here, she discusses the rape kit reform laws she sponsored in the Senate and addresses the need for survivors’ voices to drive policy solutions. I first started working on the issue of sexual violence in 2009 while serving in the Texas Senate. A representative from the state’s forensic lab came to my office, sat down with my staff, and laid out their belief that we had a significant number of untested rape kits sitting in law enforcement evidence rooms across our state. At this point, Illinois had already […]

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I’ll Ride My Pony, Today is My Birthday

I planned a nice gallery of photos from different times in life. Planned but it is not happening. In this photo I’m smiling ear to ear galloping around the kitchen on my second birthday. My grandparents bought the pony I dreamed of. I’m overjoyed to have my WordPress friends here, let’s share the day with hugs, best wishes and lots of chocolate and vanilla cake. Sorry Vegans, I can offer a cold bottle of water. The video reminds me we are all miracles and can do anything we apply ourself to. It’s touching around the World people can relate. M

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Unconditional Love-The Sacrifices Never End

My grandparents loved me unconditionally with words, most importantly their actions. They saw the effects of abuse and neglect from a distance, I never said anything or make accusations. Granny spent extra time with me, giving me a long bath, washing my hair, scrubbing dirty feet, knees and elbows. She pampered me with few words spoken. She had the ritual, after drying off and hair not dripping she would wrap me in the towel, carry me to the bed, put baby powder on me then tell what a cute and funny/beautiful/any compliment I could comprehend at the age. Granny knew I was dead inside from years of abuse, she never spoke bad of my mother even though tormented by my pain  My grandparents made sacrifices until God deemed the time was right. My music teacher called me into the hall and would not accept my explanation for the bruises all over the my face. She asked me go to the Counselors office, I begged you don’t understand saying anything only makes it worse for me. I arrive in Counselor’s office, asking to call my Granny. I told her everything, she had seen the bruises, my underarms bruised and bleeding from my mothers stabbed finger nails. Some of the most traumatic years followed. God knew when the time was right, at 12 yrs old my grandparents received full custody. It came with one condition, giving the Sate of Texas custody for one year for […]

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Have You Noticed My Twitter Feed Recently?

  I hit the jackpot and can’t wait to share with you.       Have you peaked at my Twitter timeline lately?  My passion has changed from Rock Stars to Support Resources, from Charities, Organizations and OutReach Programs who support the issues closest to my heart. The mix includes resources for PTSD, Sexual Abuse of Men and Women and Mental Health, Child Abuse and Physical Challenges. I follow 40 Charities, Organizations and Survivors. There is a learning curve, I will share thru post once comfortable how support services are delivered.  I hope you will take at look at the retweets, conversations and resources on the Twitter feed, updated daily. Once confident my understanding of the group/mission,  I’ll share via post. When possible, I’ll ask a few questions and ask them to talk about the who, what, when and why. One of the few lessons learned in Journalism class. In sixth grade I set a goal to work as a Photo Journalist for Life magazine. Tossed aside when I turned down a scholarship and passed on college. Men’s Movement has asked me to write for them, my pride bubbles over. At 53 the opportunity is far greater than Life magazine, now defunct.   Everyone I’ve talked with seems genuine, in a few short weeks I have over 100 followers, many of which have visited my site. Taking my Advocacy work to Twitter looks like a good decision. I’m interested in your ideas and […]

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Former Vanderbilt Football Player Found Guilty of Rape

By Tim Ghianni | NASHVILLE, TENN. A Tennessee jury on Friday found a former Vanderbilt University football player guilty of raping an unconscious female student in a teammate’s dormitory room in 2013. The Nashville jury found Brandon Banks, 23, guilty of aggravated rape and aggravated sexual battery after deliberating for about 15 hours over two days. The case stoked simmering concern about sexual assault on college campuses by athletes. Banks faces at least 15 years in prison, Assistant District Attorney Roger Moore told media. Sentencing will be Aug. 18. “We are very satisfied with their verdict,” Moore said. Defense attorney Mark Scruggs did not respond to a request to comment. He was quoted by The Tennessean newspaper as saying that Banks was “shocked but understands that this is only the first part of this process. There’s a lot more to do from here on.” Teammates Brandon Vandenburg and Cory Batey, two of the four former Vanderbilt football players charged in the case along with Banks, were found guilty when tried together in January 2015 but a mistrial was declared. Batey was later retried, convicted and sentenced to 15 years in prison. Vandenburg was found guilty in June 2016 and sentenced to 17 years in prison. A fourth player, Jaborian “Tip” McKenzie, who testified against his three teammates, has yet to stand trial in the case. The players used cell phones to record their crimes, and those videos – shown to […]

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Triple Shot Thursday *Reflection*

A shout out to Casey Sims, http://www.livingwithparalysis.wordpress.com. He is the newest Contributor at Survivors Blog Here. http://www.survivorsbloghere.wordpress.com. We are thrilled he joins us…his enthusiasm for life is infectious. Casey was involved in a horrifying  car accident which left him paralyzed from the waist down. His positive, no holes barred attitude will have you trying to keep up. Stop by, say hello, he’s cool, relaxed and comfortable answering your questions. It was dark week around the world. Give some extra smiles on Social Media in the coming week. One young man said to me, he would not live in fear by giving power to the few. I agree. I’m glad you stopped by, hope you enjoyed yourself…every Thursday is a great day to take time out to enjoy the tunes.  Xx M

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I keep Moving Forward: *Not allowing My past to Chart the Future*

“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.”    Maya Angelo I am a Survivor My grandparents unconditional love pulled me from the abyss. After years of Therapy, I have a clear heart, no anger or self loathing. Not forgiving….forgetting, to allow myself to move forward. Over the years, people brought sunshine into my life. You were like Angels dropping in when I needed a push or pat on back. My mother and stepfather physically and emotionally abused me until 12 years old. My stepfather beat my mother almost daily starting with hitting her head side to side down the hallway, the hallway ended at my room. Everyone in the house lived in hell, I got an extra dose. As a small girl, I dreamed my father would save me from the traumatic abuse. The dream was over, he started sexually abusing me as a child. It was innocent at first or so it seemed. At 12 years old I moved to my father’s. It’s impossible to wrap your head around sexual abuse at any age. In 1992 my father committed suicide. Estranged since my teens, we talked several times before his death. He called delusional and paranoid. Saying someone was tapping his phone. He told me about committing suicide, I told no one. The news devastated Granny her only child was dead. With a closed casket service it’s hard to reconcile death when you can’t […]

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Vivid Memory #2 Guest Margie Lakefield

Vivid Memory #2 Continued WHERE IN HELL IS THAT FAMILY OF MINE? ARE THEY EATING PRIME RIB AND CELEBRATING? I’LL BET THEY ARE. THEY HAVE THE EASY PART IN ALL OF THIS. THEIR THEATER TICKET OFFERS A FREE DRINK AND REFRESHMENTS…while I stroll through hell… The little girl dances into my world after midnight. Drug free from day one, but moms chucking her insides out and there are four nurses pummeling me, explaining something about blood flow, placenta, oh hell, I don’t know the jest of it all! I was too busy loosing my insides, suffering a notorious headache and begging for water. … Now, the vivid memory. I am not sure how to write about it, other than to say that it belongs to my Megan. It belongs to her and I. Beginning early in the days before we even left the hospital, something was amiss. Sadly, I felt no maternal bliss, and I feared that I knew nothing. All those books I’d read on childbirth, the before and after. None of those had prepared me for the roller-coaster ride , the journey in to hell and the fear that would one day it would descend into thoughts of infanticide. I warn you. This is not an easy read, and although Megan is almost two thousand miles from me today, I would give anything to sit beside her and hold her hand as I attempt to answer her questions […]

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