Loved tune, first time addicted. Goes perfect with last nights post. Please come by, I would love the names of others bands, in America I get saddled with what I know. I’m thirsty for new, different just not nasty rap. Hope to receive a comment back. Be well my friend. Xx M
Month: May 2017
I keep Moving Forward: *Not allowing My past to Chart the Future*
“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” Maya Angelo
I am a Survivor
My grandparents unconditional love pulled me from the abyss. After years of Therapy, I have a clear heart, no anger or self loathing. Not forgiving….forgetting, to allow myself to move forward. Over the years, people brought sunshine into my life. You were like Angels dropping in when I needed a push or pat on back.
My mother and stepfather physically and emotionally abused me until 12 years old. My stepfather beat my mother almost daily starting with hitting her head side to side down the hallway, the hallway ended at my room. Everyone in the house lived in hell, I got an extra dose.
As a small girl, I dreamed my father would save me from the traumatic abuse. The dream was over, he started sexually abusing me as a child. It was innocent at first or so it seemed. At 12 years old I moved to my father’s. It’s impossible to wrap your head around sexual abuse at any age.
In 1992 my father committed suicide. Estranged since my teens, we talked several times before his death. He called delusional and paranoid. Saying someone was tapping his phone. He told me about committing suicide, I told no one. The news devastated Granny her only child was dead. With a closed casket service it’s hard to reconcile death when you can’t see inside.
I battle with Treatment Resistant Bipolar Disorder. Diagnosed at 19 years old, I struggled for years without medication or over medicated. Thru the years I ‘ve taken over 40 prescriptions or drugs cocktails. A medication or medications worked for a while, then I had to try another mix.
Bipolar Disorder is a Mental Illness without a cure. I manage my illness everyday and each is different. Through advances in medicine and treatments, future generations may not struggle with Mental Illness. We can pay it forward by participating in questionnaires, clinical trials and talking about our illness. Educating others is the road to Breaking The Stigma.
I am alive with the help of God, Husband, Grandparents, Therapist and Psychiatrist. I’m blessed with a husband who won’t give up no matter how hard it gets.I get mean & nasty when going thru withdraw, Psychotic or Suicidal.
My background and Mental Illness is NOT a complete picture of who I am. Photography, Art and Music are my passions. I love vintage cars, riding motorcycles and the great outdoors. As a teenager I set a goal to see the world, the Bucket List is growing.
Student of Ancient History, Roman Architecture, World Religion and Art. I’m an animal lover. I’m sickened by animals being abused and killed testing dog food or facial cream. I’m concerned about extinction, global poverty and the planet. Above all Education, children are our future.
This is a snapshot of my past, I believe with the right team of doctors, treatments, extreme patience, Survivor attitude, most with Mental Illness can reach a level of control. If it just came with a guarantee to not get out of balance. The only failure is not getting up again.
A hurdle in my twenties was telling my doctor I wouldn’t take a medication. I was vain, gaining twenty pounds wouldn’t work for me. I received many attitude adjustments, whats my reality? How did I expect to get less Depressed. My doctor is hard on me 20+ years later. He is a blessing, the commitment to me is the reason I’m alive today.
M
Vivid Memory #2 Guest Margie Lakefield
Vivid Memory #2
Continued
WHERE IN HELL IS THAT FAMILY OF MINE? ARE THEY EATING PRIME RIB AND CELEBRATING? I’LL BET THEY ARE. THEY HAVE THE EASY PART IN ALL OF THIS. THEIR THEATER TICKET OFFERS A FREE DRINK AND REFRESHMENTS…while I stroll through hell…
The little girl dances into my world after midnight. Drug free from day one, but moms chucking her insides out and there are four nurses pummeling me, explaining something about blood flow, placenta, oh hell, I don’t know the jest of it all! I was too busy loosing my insides, suffering a notorious headache and begging for water.
…
Now, the vivid memory.
I am not sure how to write about it, other than to say that it belongs to my Megan. It belongs to her and I. Beginning early in the days before we even left the hospital, something was amiss. Sadly, I felt no maternal bliss, and I feared that I knew nothing. All those books I’d read on childbirth, the before and after. None of those had prepared me for the roller-coaster ride , the journey in to hell and the fear that would one day it would descend into thoughts of infanticide.
I warn you. This is not an easy read, and although Megan is almost two thousand miles from me today, I would give anything to sit beside her and hold her hand as I attempt to answer her questions and to allay her fears. But I can’t, and since I have promised that I would find a way to communicate something to her within the 31 days of May’s Challenge, today is our day.
I could not sleep. For three days in the hospital, and for days, off and on, once we were home. Irrational fears would enter my head and I would quickly try to change my thinking. I cuddled my angel. I played with her. I fed her and I connected with her as best I could, but I was afraid that those so-called baby blues would consume me. I tried talking to my husband about them, but he didn’t get it, and how could he, had anyone in the male species been through this birthing thing?
Days dragged, literally. I became consumed with schedules. I laboriously centered my life around a list of ‘to-do’s’ to fill my time, to keep me busy. But, I still was not sleeping. And then one day I could not eat. Literally. I could not swallow. I choked each time I tried. But I had to eat and drink, I had to sleep. I had a little one that relied upon me and I was breastfeeding, so it was more important than ever that I find a way to get ahold of myself.
Then I found myself dwelling on a pair of scissors. I’d been in the baby’s room wrapping a gift. I saw the scissors, and I remember thinking, “These could kill the baby.”
The thought became obsessive. It overwhelmed me with grief and shame. And try as I might, I could not shake the image, nor the auditory, “These could kill the baby.”
I tried hiding the scissors, but I couldn’t find a place to put them, somewhere that was ‘safe’ … someplace where they couldn’t talk to me.
I forced myself to put them back in the spot where I always kept them. If they could talk to me. I could talk to them. I could tell them, “NO!”
For days I fought this battle, until I realized it was beyond me. I attempted to express my concern for the baby to my husband, but I did not tell him about the scissors, or the voices.
I became so exhausted. And then the hallucinatory began its foray. I was fighting an army, and I was ill-equipped for its challenge.
I no longer felt connected to anyone except for my baby. I felt as if I could protect her I could win the inner war, but I was losing.
The phone would ring. I wouldn’t answer it. I had nothing I could communicate.
Southern Rock Legend Gregg Allman RIP 5/27/17
A couple of my favs. XxM Greg you gave us all.
AOL Story: https://www.aol.com/article/entertainment/2017/05/27/southern-rock-music-star-gregg-allman-dead-at-69/22112691/
Howard school staff, mental health experts weigh in on suicide depiction in Netflix series
Andrew Michaels Contact Reporter Howard County Times
The Netflix hit series “13 Reasons Why” has the Howard County school system, and schools in neighboring counties, warning parents about the show’s graphic depictions of teen suicide, rape and bullying. At the same time, many are saying the show opens a doorway into conversations on suicide and other “uncomfortable” topics.
The streaming service’s show caught viewer attention nationwide after its debut in March. The show follows the story of high school student Hannah Baker, who commits suicide and leaves behind 13 cassette tape recordings for her peers, who she said contributed to her decision to end her life.
Based on a 2007 novel with the same title, the graphic depictions in the 13-episode show – rated TV-MA for mature audiences only – raised concerns among mental health experts, educators, parents and youth. Efforts against the show include that of Oxford High School students in Michigan, who started their “13 reasons why not” project, discussing their uplifting stories about getting help during tough times every day throughout May.
Three episodes feature explicit material, such as rape and suicide, and have “viewer discretion advised” warnings. In a statement earlier this month, Netflix said that they added more warnings before the first episode, following critic response. Original messages before the graphic episodes also reemphasized its content.
After becoming the “most tweeted show of 2017,” according to Variety, “13 Reasons Why” was renewed for a second season, to debut in 2018.
Howard County schools spokesman John White said the school system released a letter to parents and the community on May 1 in response to reports of students discussing the show with their peers and teachers. The letter was written by staff and student services employees, with input from counseling support and school psychology staff and nursing staff.
“While people may have differing opinions on the appropriateness of children and adolescents watching the series, we can use this as an opportunity to reinforce positive mental health practices,” the letter states. “It is critical that we consider safe messaging when we talk to all youth and adolescents about suicide, whether it is about this series or a situation that involves them more closely.”
A memo was also sent to principals throughout the school system, said Frank Eastham, executive director of school improvement and administration. The memo states that “13 Reasons Why” is not approved for viewing in Howard County schools.
Eastham said parents are encouraged to talk with their children about whether they’ve heard of or seen the show as well as provide an outlet for open discussion regarding suicide, rape, bullying or other concerns.
“When anything hits national news, such as this particular Netflix series, we want to make sure principals are equipped with the message and resources they need to speak intelligently about the issue,” Eastham said. The memo and letter included links to more information on mental health and contacts for mental health experts.
Prince George’s County schools followed suit on May 10 when Adrian Talley, executive director for student services, sent a letter to parents, which provided additional resources from the National Association of School Psychologists and the American School Counselor Association. Talley said teachers discuss suicide with eighth-grade students during the health education class and continue discussions in the high school health issues course.
Courses review causes and warning signs of suicide as well as ways to help someone suffering from a mental health illness or contemplating suicide. The material aligns with the Maryland State Health Education Curriculum.
“Our school psychologists, nurses and professional school counselors are trained to recognize risk behaviors in our youth and take seriously all reports of suicide attempts and suicidal thoughts,” Talley said.
Similar courses in Anne Arundel County public schools address suicide, and the school system posts a parents’ guide to school health on its website and includes information on how to talk to kids about suicide.
Critics respond
In Howard County, Kami Wagner, the school system’s instructional facilitator for school counseling, said she hasn’t watched the show, but heard about it from colleagues who are watching the series. The more she heard about its content, she said, the more she wanted to inform everyone about proper responses and available resources for those who need help.
Suicide, rape and bullying are part of the school system’s ninth-grade health curriculum, which White said uses educational resources based on fact rather than fiction.
Parents need to be part of the conversation, Wagner said.
“For young kids to be watching it, not that they shouldn’t watch it, parents need to be involved,” she said. “Our goal is not to have students watching this by themselves. If they are going to make the choice to watch it, we want parents to be actively engaged in the conversation.”
White and Wagner agreed that they’ve heard students talk about how the show is related to their own experience, specifically regarding its depiction of peer conflict in school. Technology and social media are contributing factors to this issue, Wagner said, with the negative effects also depicted in “13 Reasons Why.”
As a parent, White, who’s currently watching the show, said he’s talked about the series with his daughter, a high school senior who also watched the series. Despite some critics’ response saying the show “glorifies suicide,” White said it’s “less of an idea that you’re glorifying and more of the need to communicate and have conversations about the topic.”
“This is a very well done program from the movie and cinematic viewpoint,” White said.
Because certain aspects are relatable, he said, they raise awareness of the negative consequences that may follow and how to help people who need it.
However, Howard County Mental Health Authority Executive Director Madeline Morey said the show might trigger a contagion effect or copycat behavior among vulnerable youth, despite the intention of the show’s creators and producers to shed light on the issues. Individuals involved in the series creation and development discussed their intentions in a 30-minute Netflix documentary, “13 Reasons Why: Beyond the Reasons,” which accompanies the series.
In this case, the contagion effect refers to children who are vulnerable or might already have a preexisting mental health condition, Morey said. If they watch something like “13 Reasons Why,” they may be more likely to repeat certain actions as a solution to a stressful situation.
Morey said she believed those behind the show unintentionally “promoted some of the behaviors” as viable options in their depictions of suicide or bullying.
“From what I could tell, the intent of it was to introduce the subject that may be difficult for people to talk about,” Morey said. “It certainly is hard for parents or anyone to talk about some of these difficult subjects, like violence, self-harm or suicide. I think that what the producers of the show or the show itself may not take into account is that the adolescent brain is really wired for risk taking.”
It’s important to know how to properly broach the subject, she said.
The county’s mental health authority recently completed its needs assessment report and FY18-22 strategic plan, which is based on input from focus groups conducted with 111 participants, including mental health recipients and providers, family members and school personnel.
In the behavioral health system, according to a focus group within the strategic plan, a top area in need of improvement was suicide intervention in children and youth up to age 17, and reducing the stigma among adults, ages 18 to 59. Another behavioral health need identified among children and youth was discussing and understanding self-worth. Focus groups in the same category revealed parental involvement and family support as strengths, with improvements suggested in school-based mental health in the behavioral health system.
“It’s important to seek advice from a qualified professional,” Morey said. “Even as a parent, you may not be equipped to deal with some of these sensitive subjects. If a child is expressing, or you have concerns about, any behaviors, go to a professional and make sure you have attempted to address what you’re seeing or witnessing.”
White said counseling is available in all Howard schools every day, in addition to a crisis teams, if needed.
“It’s difficult to talk about this happening to any child, especially for a parent thinking about it happening to their child,” White said. “This isn’t the first time any school has had to talk about suicide. It has just been elevated by this production. We have to be aware that if children want to watch it, they’re going to find a way these days. We have to be prepared on how to engage them on their level.”
For more information or to find help, contact Grassroots Crisis Intervention Center at 410-531-6677; Howard County Mental Health Authority at 410-313-6300; or the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
Training To Service.org *LGBT Aging Resources*
Minneapolis ranks 4th among U.S. cities in percentage of gay, lesbian and bisexual residents. Approximately 12.5% of Minneapolis identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual. Transgender was not a category in analysis. (UCLA School of Law’s Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation Law & Public Policy)
There are an estimated 48,000 LGBT older adults living in Minnesota. Many LGBT older adults do not have the same support networks that are available to heterosexual peers. LGBT older adults are five times less likely to access senior services than heterosexual peers. By not accessing these services, LGB&T older adults are more susceptible to experiencing increased isolation, depression, substance abuse, and institutionalization. M
I Salute Men & Women fighting in Combat & War on Homefront- Today & Yesterday for American Freedom
Home of the Free
Sending prayers to family and friends for their loss of loved ones serving the Military.Daily I’m reminded of the sacrifices made to defend the freedoms we enjoy today in America. I pray every soldier comes home soon.
Gramps, I’ll never forget the sacrifices you made to win WWII. I love you.
Xx M


Just Doing a little off-roadin!! Wishing I had my mountain tires on!
It takes sheer will to move forward everyday, check out Casey Sims @https://livinwithparalysis.wordpress.com, his site in new and awesome. He’s one cool dude!
M
Triple Shot Thursday*From Reguest Line*
Today’s awesome tunes requested by good friend Charly Priest. He may have a rough exterior at times, he’s made of sugar. Leave request in my comments box for next weeks entertainment. Get ready for a musical treat. :) M
3 tunes that I like in different times during the day
1 – in the morning https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLhN__oEHaw&list=RDMMhLhN__oEHaw
2-afternoon https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR3Vdo5etCQ
3- late https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MnF6tonFY4atnight
A Vivid Memory #1 By Guest Margie Lakefield
5/22/2017
“A Vivid Memory”
This may take me all of today and well into the night. I had written in an earlier post that I would revisit something. I made a special promise to my oldest daughter. And today is the day I fulfill that promise. It began the day that she was born.
…
She arrived three weeks early. And, just like any new child’s arrival she came without a warranty clause, a type-written instruction manual and no return address label.
I’d practiced the natural birthing process, The Bradley method. The 8.25 months of pregnancy went without a hitch, except for mom catching the flu at five months of pregnancy.
Birthing went almost according to plan. No pain meds, no spinal block, but after several hours from having my water break, the doctor(s) where concerned that infection or stress of labor may cause concerns to the unborn baby. They prescribed Pitocin, and with knowledge I’d gained in birthing class, I clung to my hope of having a natural child-birth, but was also warned that the induction could produce rather strong contractions, and it did not offer a buffering from any pain that I would incur by its introduction. I kept with Plan A. Let me bear this baby, naturally. (The following link provides further details on Pitocin via Yahoo)
*http://pregnancy.about.com/od/induction/a/pitocindiffers.htm
…
Now, I have to give my doctors and St. Francis hospital in Tulsa, kudos for the way they helped my delivery. My labor had begun at work, around 8:30 in the morning, and by 10:00 a.m., I was strapped to a gurney, and plugged into all the machinery a labor and delivery room can offer for the monitoring of baby and mama. Noon came, but no lunch, who cares though, laboring the birthing of a baby you really have hunger on the last of your lists of wants.
Hubby and I logged miles around the nurses desk and lobby. Too many to count, and at one point a nurse beckoned me back to my appointed room for a vitals check and centimeter observation. I tried resting, but I was too anxious. I was on top of the world and could not wait to see my, Megan Kathleen. I had dreamt of this moment for so long. The afternoon rolled on, more walking, more monitoring, and finally at six p.m., my doctor arrives and tells me that he thinks it’s time we get this baby something to speed up her arrival. It’s that drug, Pitocin. I agree, but only after he can confirm that I can still birth her naturally, no pain meds, spinal taps, nada, zip and zero. He assures me he will follow my directive, but warns me that the drug used to induce labor can also cause severe labor pains, and if the time came that he felt it was too much for baby and me he would medically do what he needed. I couldn’t fight with him there. He’s the educated soul. He graduated medical school, a certificate that required 12 years of laborious studies. Let’s rock and roll! You carry the knowledge and I’ll try marathon walking until this unborn baby charges to the finish line. Deal?
Shortly after six my husband’s family arrived from Texas. Someone mentioned they were hungry. The folks had spent four hours en route, and I know that Cliff hasn’t eaten since breakfast. I knew that I couldn’t, but more importantly, as the Pitocin’s effects began to work on my body, and labor earnestly began, eating was the furthest thing from my mind. I asked them to go, give me a breather, grab some food, enjoy themselves. Linger if they wished. Why hell, I’ve been here all day and it looks as if I’ll be here all night trying to birth this baby.
8:30 p.m., and where in the heck were those fools? Did they not have any clue about what I was going through? I’m not a screamer, but I do enjoy a hair-pulling now and then. The R.N. assisting me was becoming less than jovial as I started practicing my Bradley method of breathing. Every now and then she would ask, “Are you sure you don’t want something for your pain?”
“Sister, where were you when I gave my directive? Is my clipboard of info missing from the foot of this bed? Has the doctor given YOU the board certification to overtake his assigned SEAT at my party?”
I tried to deliver it humorously. I tried to cajole her into seeing my side of it. She tried to get me to see her side. We both failed, Communication Skills 101.
To be continued
Therapy for mind and body
Providing Treatment and Recovery Support in Rural and Frontier Communities
May 2017: Providing Treatment and Recovery Support in Rural and Frontier Communities
Find the latest episodes of the Road to Recovery media series.
About 46.2 million people in the United States (14 percent of the population) lived in non-metropolitan (rural) communities in 2015. The nation’s rural and frontier communities face some challenges when addressing behavioral health conditions and gaining access to treatment and recovery services—including an insufficient number of specialist providers and models of care that may not consider rural-specific issues (e.g., geographical distance or the need for transportation). However, these communities have developed and applied creative approaches—especially telehealth technologies and innovative methods of service delivery—to provide access to treatment and recovery supports for residents of rural and frontier communities. Panelists will discuss the particular issues in addressing the behavioral health needs that are relevant for these communities, share innovative approaches to addressing them in remote areas, and review the challenges faced when attempting to reduce the treatment gap for rural and frontier residents. They will also address the special considerations of Native American/American Indian communities living in rural areas.
Supreme Court Turns Away Challenge to Conversion Therapy Ban
The Supreme Court today left standing a lower court decision that the conversion therapy ban in California is legal. By declining to consider that case, the Court allowed the state ban to stay on the books, and by extension, the bans in five other states as well. The lead plaintiff, an ordained minister and licensed family therapist in San Diego, sued the State of California on the grounds that the state law violates his freedom of religion and therefore is unconstitutional. The Supreme Court chose not to review that case. The plaintiff was joined a psychiatrist and a man who underwent conversion therapy and now aspires to perform it on others. The plaintiff had previously sued California on the grounds that its conversion therapy ban violated his freedom of speech, and that challenge also failed.
By upholding California’s ban, the Supreme Court protected the bans in Oregon, Illinois, Vermont, New Jersey, and New Mexico from the same type of challenge. A dozen other states have been considering bans this year in their state legislatures.
The process of enacting a ban in every state would be drawn-out and in some states, a long shot at best. Members of Congress have just introduced bills in the House and Senate that would make it illegal to accept payment for conversion therapy or to advertise that service, on the grounds that it is a fraudulent business practice. Because sexual orientation is not a medical condition or problem, offering to cure it through therapy is not a legitimate service; it’s accepting payment to cure a nonexistent problem. The bills would give the Federal Trade Commission oversight over this prohibition.
For more information on the bills in Congress and how you can contact your representatives about them, click here to read a previous blog post about this topic.
M
Triple Shot Thursday *Soul Warming*
Facial expressions show depth of emotion. When a singer gets the contorted face it shows me they are in the moment. My emotions are down yet the words are beautiful and soul warming.
Xx M
Report: Majority of military misconduct dismissals linked to brain injury, mental health
Mem and Women have given their lives since we landed in the country, we called America. Enlisting to fight for freedom, they knew the cost and it’s not free. With technology, our government is paying for state of the art equipment to protect and defend. The highest ranks of Military Officials lied to every Soldier enlisted the Military will take care of your health whatever it takes.
No war is pretty, nor free, every war comes advances in technology. International Relations is not looking good for America. The numbers of enemies are growing. The past several weeks North Korea is testing bombs and making threats against American. We can’t fight every country who hates America. Who is standing by our side and ready to fight if needed.
If we are to remain a free country, the Military needs to quit playing games and using dishonorable discharge for PTSD, Brain Injuries, Mental Illness, the list goes on as you will see in the video.
From the President, Chief of Staff and Military decision makers to take away the right to health is the least our government owes them. If you are dishonorably discharged you loose your benefits. The White House and Military are responsible for this horrific treatment of PTSD, Brain Injury and Mental Illness if they don’t fit another category.
Our government has to live with every suicide. Suicide which leaves widows, children left without a mom or dad. Mothers, Fathers, extended family and church family.
Our government lies to get what it needs and change the terms to suit them. This is not a government I have faith in and my naive blinders are off. The public does not serve our government, we vote on the bullshit theme of a campaign which is rarely delivered once voted in.
THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT SERVES THE PUBLIC, NOT VICE VERSA.
Please reblog to everyone who will or may care about the abuse of Military Soldiers.
M
Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Consultation (IECMHC) Toolbox
The Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Consultation (IECMHC) Toolbox offers free interactive planning tools, guides, videos, and other resources to support IECMHC efforts in your state, tribe, or community.
https://www.samhsa.gov/iecmhc/toolbox
M
Did you know May is Mental Health Month?
The article written by Mental Health America looks very informative. I am adding to resource page. Let me know what you think of article and first impression of company.
Thank you
Xx M
Semblance
Have you stopped and asked this questions? What life would be like and could you survive in a world unattached. M
I can’t keep up with the rapidity of
Smart Phones and Bit-Fit Watches
so
I’m empty wristed and void of clutch
abandoning the world of technology and rush
hurtling without break down San Fransisco streets
remember the days when
we took summer vacation?
not fearful of boss or observing every text?
remember when
the phone did not ring late at night
unless it was about death
or
wake us at first light with impatient query
colleagues who
may get to work before you
stealing your slot before you knew what you lost
remember when
you ate a warm breakfast, read the paper
talked to your kids
stroked the dog
noticed the door needed a new paint job
revelled in the glory of Sunday mornings
not getting out
of a deep filled bed
arms and feet and legs
splayed
remember when
guilt
panic
and shame
anxiety with a twist of lime
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Emergency Departments Could Play Significant Role in Reducing Suicide Attempts
Suicide Prevention
If You Know Someone in Crisis
Call the toll-free National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (NSPL) at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The service is available to everyone. The deaf and hard of hearing can contact the Lifeline via TTY at 1-800-799-4889. All calls are confidential. Contact social media outlets directly if you are concerned about a friend’s social media updates or dial 911 in an emergency. Learn more on the NSPL’s website .
Texas Senate passes anti-cyberbullying bill David’s Law 31-0
SB 179 is, also known as David’s Law named for David Molak, a local student who took his own life at just 16 years old. His family says he was tortured by cyber bullies from Alamo Heights High School.
AUSTIN – It was unanimous.
The Texas Senate voted 31-0 to approve SB 179, legislation that will crack down on online bullying in state schools.
http://news4sanantonio.com/news/local/texas-senate-passes-davids-law-anti-cyberbullying-bill-31-0
Xx M
Triple Shot Thursday *Dedicated to Survivors Blog Here*
I got hacked, instead of destruction on my site they wreaked havoc on the Survivors Blog Here site. They knew hurting people I care about would hurt me more. We’re dealing with a task larger than my learning curb. WP has provided assistance from the beginning and I applaud their efforts.
Several writers are not able to reblog, I’ve reblogged for them. Contributor Hyperion is free this weekend to help with clean up. We survived a small challenge in the big scheme of things.
I admire every contributor for who they are. In awe of your ability to share traumatic events so others may learn. You fill my heart with sunshine. I appreciate the support from our followers, the strength of the site is because of you. Xx M
Dubai must be the place…
Mental Health Police: Thirteen Reasons Why You Should Stop
Contemporary Women is eye opening, topics discussed from a different angle, I like the site very much. Please check out. https://contemporarywomen.org
Let me know what you think, it’s a collaborative of women who tell it like they see it.
:) M
CW: The following article deals with themes portrayed in Thirteen Reasons Why including mental health, suicide and sexual assault. Please read on at your discretion.
Have you seen it yet? What tape are you up to? Have you seen Clay’s tape yet? HAVE YOU SEEN CLAY’S TAPE YET?!
Whether you’ve actually seen it or not I’m sure that by now everyone is at least familiar with Netflix’s latest hit Thirteen Reasons Why. It follows the story of Clay as he comes to terms with the death of his close friend Hannah, who has left behind a series of tapes explaining why she chose to kill herself. Some have loved it, some have hated it, and some have made memes about it. No matter what your feelings are on the show, we can all agree that it deals with some pretty intense issues often shied away from by big production companies, which is great…
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New Chapter in My Life Begins
I’ve started to walk again, it fells great and very unstable. Throughout my battle with Lyme I prayed for my Granny’s strength. My Granny had to learn to walk twice as an adult. The first was from a terrible accident leaving her in a wheelchair or walker for years.
She cleaned new houses for extra money, whatever the job required she would get it done. One day while cleaning the windows in the cathedral ceiling she fell 1 1/2 stories, landing on her feet. Both feet and ankles shattered, the Doctors has to fuse bone together to give her a foot. It took two surgeries to achieve best results. It was a very dark time, being dependent and not spending time outside weighed heavy on her mind. She always said she would walk again, there was never a question in my mind. She was strong enough to handle anything.
Years later she woke up on day and couldn’t walk. Doctor’s could not find anything wrong, doctor after doctor. Thankfully she was not in pain, which gave me the freedom to make the wheelchair a race car. I would take her to mall most weekends, just get her out of the house. I starting making screeching brake noises as we turned corners, I would push real hard and hop on back rolling freely down the long walkways. We would look at blouses, deep in the department, I would make vroom-vroom noises, saying it’s time to buy or move on.
Those were difficult times but we made it thru the best we could. God put many challenges in front of Granny, she always knew she would overcome. She never giving up on God or herself. Her strength and positive thinking carved its was into my personality.
She never gave on me.
Today I walk again.
Xx M
Triple Shot Thursday *Imagine Dragons*
Today for your listening pleasure a Triple Shot of Imagine Dragons. I can’t get enough, sometimes strange videos yet the words a spoken by someone everyday.
This is my favorite time of the week, take the hair pins out, relax, not rushing to publish the next post. Request are always welcome. I fly blind much of the time, what do people want to hear, does it matter, what will touch someone’s heart. Help me out, this day is for you. Xx M
Powassan Virus worse than Lyme Disease?
I am walking after three years spent in bed, how could anything be worse than Lyme Disease. I’ve lost three years of my life screaming in pain, narcotics, nine months of twice a day IV Infusion Treatments. The conflict in my marriage is understandable but not erased.
I can not stress enough how important Tick Borne illnesses are, they can kill. If you already have a compromised immune system, your starting behind the curve. I’ve talked to many at WordPress with Chronic Lyme, many of them spent 10-15 years before diagnosis. Think of the pain and isolation of our fellow Bloggers.
People have said we don’t have ticks, for one Lyme and Powassan Disease is transmitted by many sources other than ticks, mosquitos, sand flies, are just a few culprits. Thick of it this way, in the wild animals of all types of animals die, many pest visit the buffet. Now imagine how many pest fly to a hump of dung! Many more than we know and the world is bigger than or neighborhood.
The flying pest target is blood, they have to eat. They don’t discriminate on were to go for lunch. The ticks who carry Tick Borne illnesses are smaller than a pencil lead, try to find that while doing a tick check, you will not see them. Before Chronic Lyme I refused to use DEET, now I won’t step out of my house without. At least 20% DEET is recommended, the last I read.
I was very active before Lyme, hiking, taking photos for the beautiful land around us. Once my legs are stable I will be outdoors, there’s nothing more satisfying. How I prepare is completely different. First before getting dressed, spray a sunscreen with a minimum of 20% DEET. Reply every hour if sweating or in heavy wooded ares. Wear white soaks with your pant leg tucked in light-colored pants. Wear a white or light colored shirt, a hat that is longer in back to cover your neck. Be vigilant with your kids, going is back yard to play, better spray.
Most important, do tick checks on you and the kids throughout the day. Take some tape and if see a tick don’t touch it, pull it off with tape. It’s not very sexy looking like a nerd out hiking. Look at it this way, being sexy while hiking is not possible. Tick Borne illness are not sexy either, you age quickly, I have admit to struggling with how I’ve aged, not feeling attractive anymore, gained 50 pounds, lost 50 pounds and no control over your body.
Watch these extremely important videos and educate yourself. Know the early signs and a short antibiotic treatment may provide a cure. The Lyme rash doctors talk about only 30% get the bull’s eye rash. The test most doctors use do not test for all strains of the illness. I’ve had multiple test over the past three years and not once did I show positive for Lyme.
Xx M
Memories: I Was Stalked For Six Years
On my first business trip, I was 24 years old and clueless. The company was celebrating a milestone. Once we were bored, around 20 of us found a bar and settled in. This is the time for a stalker, large groups of people, and pick your target.
First, he sent me a dozen white roses every day. I was young and naive about stalking. I assumed he had money.
The cards started coming and he started asking me to come to Boston. The phone calls were coming more often. I didn’t know how a stalker reeled in their target.
After months of roses and cards, I gave in. Once in Boston, his lies were easy to see. The parents owned the house, he lived in a small house over the garage. My radar is up about but nothing else. There was a party at a friend’s house, let’s see how many are losers. The party was fun I talked about food, wine, and traveling. He paraded me around like a 100-lb piece of meat.
We had a selection of drugs, hash, cocaine, and some using a needle. I don’t use a needle period. I enjoyed the selection of smokes. We left heading for his house, he was high and driving. We arrive, had problems with the stairs, which were too high, and laughing ass off. I told him before arriving, that I would not sleep with him, ok no problem he says. We started doing a line of coke, no memory of how many lines, it didn’t matter
I was stoned. He tried to get to lay on the bed and he wouldn’t touch me. The other sleeping option was the couch, I chose the couch. His personality changed to anger. He begged me for what seemed like an hour. He finally gave up, leaving him to plan his next move.
I left my cell phone at home and used his phone to call Granny. BAD MOVE. We had lunch with his parents. They seemed normal, which was good, maybe the thoughts were a reaction from past experiences.
We went to the mall so he could buy me a leather jacket. WEIRD. Before leaving he takes me to a 5-star restaurant on the water. Then off to the airport, and listened to more lies.
The calls to my office and home were nonstop, leaving messages on my phone with his voice getting angrier, making threats. What can he do to me he’s in Boston. NAIVE.
The fear escalated over six years, always looking over my shoulder, and avoiding crowds. Years went by and I thought it was over, NOT, he wrote me a letter at my new address. Dating was worse, you have to tell them about this crazy person. One guy I dated had two boys, and afraid for them he would go to the car alone in case a bomb ignited.
It’s been 15 years and more traumatic memories. Now another Stalker has me in sight. I’m 53 not a kid anymore and I still get scared. I thought the Stalker had left me alone, there still watching, always there, letting me know.
I wrote in an earlier post about how I taunted the Stalker. Don’t take my lead and attack back, expressing your anger. Their anger can grow and aggression can escalate.
Don’t keep the secret to yourself, it’s a heavy load.
Don’t allow yourself to be bait, stalkers can take years grooming,
Melinda
New Theme: Twenty Seventeen
We’re excited to announce that this year’s WordPress default theme, Twenty Seventeen, is now available on WordPress.com.
Designed by Mel Choyce, Twenty Seventeen is a business-oriented theme that allows you to create a stunning front-page layout with multiple sections. The theme can be topped with a large custom header image or atmospheric video of your choosing.
Twenty Seventeen can be customized further by adding a logo, custom color or fonts, or widgets.
We paid special attention to making sure the theme’s typography works well with as many languages as possible. Font adjustments for the following alphabets improve readability:
- Arabic
- Chinese
- Cyrillic
- Devanagari
- Greek
- Gujarati
- Hebrew
- Japanese
- Korean
- Thai
Twenty Seventeen has also been designed to look good on a variety of screen sizes.
Learn more about WordPress’s latest default theme here, or check out the demo site!
FFF39 Everything

It’s that time of the week,when I get to stretch my wings
It’s flash fiction and this week it is a song by Kodaline
Everything Works Out In The End,of course our host is Matt
His blog thebookblogger2014 he is everything literary and
Always has a book or two that he believes is worth reading
Please be ever so kind and visit him………
So without further ado
Alfonso drum roll
“Everything”
Even though it’s risky
It’s a fight worth fighting for
Life will nickel and dime just because it can
People will speak the words you don’t always want to hear
An unsolicited opinion not worth the air they breath
It’s always a fight even when the ring is square
Even though it’s risky
Everything works out in the end
Lyme Update 18 *Chronic Illness & Controlled Substances*
The days get lonely, when your symptoms reach the disability stage. Times can get lonely, ask friend or create a circle of like-minded friends who you can talk honestly with. Keep Learning.
If you’re concerned about addiction, talk to Doctor as you decide the treatment best for you.One complete withdraw on Xanax and two days without Temazepam. This is a monthly struggle. The CDC is putting a tighter grip on Control Substance management is critical if you suffer from lack of memory.
Going thru withdraw in August and not clear how, I had to understand how this happened. I get anxiety when an addictive drug is running low. I’m addicted to are Xanax, Dexedrine, Tramadol, and Morphine Patches. The Xanax and Dexedrine are for mental illness the others are for Lyme Protocol.
The ongoing frustration is with myself, CVS and my husband. It is difficult to take care of a Chronically Ill person. My husband has to work, do every task at home, grocery shopping, everything. That’s a big understatement. I have severe dysfunction in memory & cognitive ability.
CVS had new script for increased dosage of four a day, first refill my Doctor called increased to 3 daily, a week later he increased the dosage to 4X. If CVS would have filled each new increased dosage I could skipped the experience of 100% withdraw.
Part of my Lyme Protocol is Temazepam, a restless leg medicine. If you can’t sleep you’re not reducing inflammation on your body. Inflammation is key to treating Chronic Illness. Temazepam (I’m addicted to) is a Controlled Substance, Insurance companies approve refills somewhere between days 3-5 days before running out.There’s no Texas law on when Controlled Substances are refilled. CVS made the decision to help end Drug Addiction by only refilling two days before running out. CVS made change without telling customers. The new policy on refilling your prescriptions has a huge impact on every customer. Refilling prescriptions two days before running out may cause high levels of anxiety and difficulty to make it to CVS two days before running out.
The reason I went crazy, my Temazepam, which had increased dosage , new script already at CVS pharmacy. I’m coming out of withdraw and already having nightmares of two withdraws in one month.I usually take the problems and get it done, my anxiety was so high, I had a Mental Break. Walking around with a note of how many days before running out.
All of life’s challenges ask us are we ready for the next challenge, can you rise up. I trusted God and the future before me. I’ve learned Chronic Lyme had impacted my self-image, always talking about how long before I died, always being asked who are you talking to.
The last couple weeks you’ve seen me struggle with my confidence. I’m bleeding out. I pray you learned something from the post and can a skip withdraw.
Xx M














