“We can only be said to be ALIVE
in those moments when our
HEARTS are conscious of our treasure.”
-Thorton Wilder, The Woman of Andrus
Month: August 2018
Darkness Overcomes Me
I stand watching the darkness settle in. The black dog comes to torture me. Emotions, negative feelings left behind are brought out like dolls in a toy box.
I fight, fight hard not to fall in the abyss. Mask are taken out of their resting place, the mask are for me, which one will I need today. Lies and hurtful memories are resolved or locked away, march before me as if yesterday.
Fighting the darkness med change after med change is paralyzing me. How does my husband stay, never knowing the outcome of each day. The uncertainty of mental illness disrupts every one, every day.
I believe God has a plan, I’m on a journey with no road map. I trust the tools learned over thirty-five years. This to shall pass, not fast enough, never fast enough.
There is a light ahead I can not see, trusting it will come back to me. When the darkness lifts my mind looks for a positive. What is positive about the pain and darkness engulfing me.
The survivor in me knows the light is there, the darkness will lift. I push and push trying to get loose of the anchor holding me down. What others think means nothing to me, I’m fighting my own battle, a battle they can not see.
As the sound of birds return and squirrels play chase, I see sunshine once again.
Melinda
Daddy-Twenty Six Years Have Passed
Twenty six years have passed.
When you looked in the mirror what did you see?
A happy man with a fulfilling life?
A man who could not see the illness?
A man who refused to fight the illness?
Your demons staring at you?
Looking in the mirror with no reflection at all?
I looked at the mirror stained with your blood.
M
A Grandparents Love Lives On With Happy Birthday Wishes
The life-and-death talk we all need to have
Knowing my grandparents wanted to die at home was the easiest part of caring for them. The conversation was a common in my gramps family partly because of time the period, the late 1800’s early 1900’s and money.
I now understand the difficulty of making decisions as a caregiver, it’s the decisions on the fly you can’t prepare for. Heartbreaking and so personal but they have to be made, sometimes everyday.
“gramps why give granny her medicine, we know she’s dying, it’s causing her more discomfort swallowing them.”
“gramps you can’t leave the house anymore, granny thinks you left her at someone’s house. She starts hitting her head on wall and wants to die, I can’t manage her anymore.”
“gramps don’t you think it’s time to make calls to give people a chance to see you.”
Caring for my grandparents taught me what I was made of and how strong unconditional love is.
Melinda
Ideas at TED.com
Michaela Eames Aug 23, 2018
It’s only human to avoid discussing death. But when we do, we run the risk of not knowing how our loved ones want to live — and die. Advocate and journalist Ellen Goodman tells us how to kick off this critical conversation.
Death and taxes are two of life’s certainties. But while we’ve most likely talked to our relatives and dearest friends about money, few of us bring up death — even with the people we’re closest to. That must change, says Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Ellen Goodman (TEDxBoston talk: The conversation project); as she puts it, we need to bring dying into the open.
Her belief stems from her own missed opportunities. She and her mom had the kind of relationship where they talked about everything — or so she thought. But when her mother became seriously ill and unable to make decisions, Goodman recalls, “I got a phone call from her doctor at the long-term care facility. He said, ‘Your mom has another bout of pneumonia. Do you want her to have antibiotics?’ And I froze.” At that moment, she realized how little she knew about what her mother wanted.
In 2010, Goodman founded The Conversation Project, a nonprofit based in Cambridge, Massachusetts, that helps people talk about their end-of-life plans. Here, she shares how to kick off this critical conversation with someone you love.
Step #1: Identify why you’re worried about having the talk.
Hesitation is natural. There are many reasons not to talk about death, especially the death of a parent. Maybe you’re scared that your mom or dad isn’t emotionally ready to have the conversation. But according to a survey from The Conversation Project, 92 percent of Americans polled said they were eager to talk about their end-life-care.
Perhaps you think talking about death is unnecessary now — your parent is in great health. But, as we all know, death is unpredictable. Goodman says, “It’s best to have these conversations before there’s a crisis, because a crisis is a terrible time to learn.”
Or, you may worry your parent will change their mind about what they want between your talk and when they finally need end-of-life care. But as Goodman points out, “None of this is written in stone.” The point is just to get started.
Step #2: Say “I need your help.”
OK, you’ve accepted that it’s time to talk — but you don’t know how to even begin. Again, this is normal. Goodman suggests a brilliant way to open the conversation. “With children talking to their parents, we find it’s often good for them to say ‘Mom, Dad, I need your help. There may come a time when I need to make decisions for you.’” Why this approach? Goodman explains, “When you phrase it in those terms, it’s a rare parent who will say, ‘No, I’m not going to help you.’”
Another way you can begin: Share a family story. In her time zigzagging across the country for the Conversation Project, Goodman has found everybody has a story — whether it’s about a good or difficult death.
“You can start with ‘Remember when Grandma or Uncle Jeff died. What did you think about it? How would you like yours to be different?”’ says Goodman. “Touching on a familiar experience opens the door to how people experienced it and how people feel about it.”
Pro tip: Blunt is bad.
While there are many good ways to start, please avoid the tell-it-like-it-is approach. Goodman says a sledgehammer statement like “Dad, you know you’re gonna die someday” is a terrible opener. “It just makes everybody tense.”
Step #3: Invite them to finish this sentence.
To guide the conversation, ask your loved one to complete this sentence for you: “What matters to me at the end of life is …”
Possible answers could include:
“Being in the best hospital with the best care available.”
“Being in the comfort of my own home.”
“Having a chance to say goodbye to loved ones.”
“Being assured that all medical efforts have been used to keep me alive.”
“Being assured that no heroic efforts will be used to artificially keep me alive.”
“Knowing that Person X will take care of all my financial affairs.”
“Knowing that Person X will make my medical decisions.”
This sentence can give you an understanding of your loved one’s priorities and concerns, and also point you towards which issues will need to be explored.
Step #4: Know that everything won’t get wrapped up in a single discussion.
Let your initial talk last as long as it does naturally — without your extending it or steering it. According to Goodman, “this usually takes several conversations” to hammer out. Many people may want more time to think about these questions; they might also come up with their own. So how should you conclude this first talk? “A hug would be nice,” says Goodman.
Rather than seeing these conversations as a painful ordeal or a dreaded obligation, try to see them as a chance for you to speak honestly with your loved ones and bring everyone’s worries out into the open. “People are so anxious about having the conversation,” reports Goodman. “But once they do, the huge majority will say, ‘It’s the best conversation we ever had. It was real, it was emotional, it was talking about things that matter.’”
These talks are a gift we can give each other, says Goodman. By having them, she says, “it’s not that everything will go perfectly at the end of your loved one’s life, but you will know you did the best you could.”
For more advice, check out the Conversation Starter Kit on The Conversation Project website.
Watch Ellen Goodman’s TEDxBoston talk here:
Friday Quote
It’s A Girl!
7 Ways to Cope with Anxiety about Your Teen
How parents of teenagers can manage their fears.
All parents worry about their children’s well-being at any age, but the issues to worry about mount when children hit the teen years. I am often asked by parents of one child about how to deal with the anxiety they feel. With one child the focus can be more intense, however a parent’s anxiety, upset, or despair when something goes amiss is the same no matter how many children there are in the family.
Parental anxiety is readily absorbed by children and not helpful as teenagers navigate their more complex world—facing more temptations and risks then they did as young children.
I asked my colleague, Dr. Alice Boyes, author of The Anxiety Toolkit, to recommend ways that all parents can tamp down the anxiety they feel as their kids enter the teen years.
7 Ways to Cope with Anxiety about Your Teen
1. Whether you have one adolescent or several, first, be compassionate with yourself about your feelings. There’s no need to beat yourself up about the fact you’re worried. You want to keep your child safe and that concern is bubbling over as anxiety. That’s very understandable and relatable.
2. Confront your specific fears. For instance, do you fear your child will die in a car crash? Is your fear that your child will do something stupid and get arrested? Once you identify your specific fears, gather some “base rate” data on how likely those things are.
Don’t spend hours researching; a 5-minute Google search will usually give you helpful information. For example, a World Health Organization report indicates that the death rate for adolescents aged 10-19 in high-income countries is about 10 per 100,000 in any given day, so around 0.001%. The report also breaks down the major causes of adolescent death and serious injury in those same countries.
The facts make it clear that your son or daughter is unlikely meet harm in this way. While confronting your specific fears might make you more anxious in the short-term, it should decrease your anxiety overall.
3. Once you’ve looked at what the most realistic worries are, identify what you can do to lessen those risks. For example, for male adolescents in the 15-19 age group, road injury is a realistic concern. Perhaps you could schedule a driving lesson every 3 months for your child even after they get their driver’s license so that the instructor can catch any bad habits your teen might be slipping into. The paradox of excessive worry is that it’s paralyzing, and can make people less likely to take the practical steps that would lessen the risk of whatever they’re anxious about.
4. Take practical steps, but don’t go overboard. You might decide to plan or implement one risk reduction strategy every month. Try to start with the things that worry you the most, even if they’re things you’re tempted to avoid such as talking to your adolescent about sexual consent or alcohol and other drug use.
article continues after advertisement5. Keep in mind that while a catastrophe is unlikely, it’s more likely that you and your adolescent might need to deal with a mildly to moderately negative situation, whether it’s bullying, failing to make a sports team, or test anxiety. The best approach to concerns like these is to briefly imagine how, in practical terms, you’d cope if one of them occurred, and that could include getting support for yourself or for your teen.
Reassure yourself that you have the capacity to cope with these sorts of circumstances. Although they would be emotionally difficult to deal with and you might not feel 100% confident or get it 100% right, you’ll be prepared to successfully navigate challenges.
6. You can probably easily think of the risks of being under-protective. In addition, think about the potential costs of being over-protective. By being overprotective you impede your teen’s desire for independence or you can raise a teen who feels stifled and leans on you for every little thing. Write down some of the things you do because of your concern. How might you pull back or at the least, strike a balance?
Whether or not your child has siblings to share the rocky road of the teen years, a child needs to explore and make mistakes to learn and grow.
7. Acknowledge anything that’s going on for you related to your child getting older. Are you concerned about how your identity will shift as you transition to being the parent of a teen rather than a young child? Make sure worries that relate to you aren’t getting unconsciously mixed in with your anxiety about your child’s safety. Acknowledge your own emotions and thoughts without judging them.
article continues after advertisementAlso of interest:
ILADS Member Engages the WHO to Include Lyme Disease in Revision of Health Code
The Ad Hoc Committee for Health Equity in ICD11 Borreliosis Codes (or Ad Hoc Committee) is an international, all voluntary, professional committee formed to improve the ICD codes for Lyme and Relapsing Fever borreliosis and address the human rights violations generated by inadequate codes.
In 2017, members of the Ad Hoc Committee met with Dainius Pūras, the United Nations (UN) Special Rapporteur on the right to health and Dr. Shekhar Saxena, the senior WHO official responsible for addressing dementia to discuss their findings from the Report, UPDATING ICD11 Borreliosis Diagnostic Codes, Edition One (March 29, 2017) and entered many potentially fatal complications from Lyme borreliosis into the WHO ICD11 Beta Platform. Many persons in the UN system have friends and family devastated by this disease.
The ICD11 codes now recognize: 1C1G.2 Congenital Lyme borreliosis; 6D85.Y Dementia due to Lyme Disease (Dementia due to other specified diseases classified elsewhere); 8A45.0Y Central Nervous System demyelination due to Lyme borreliosis (Other Specified white matter disorders due to infections). There is additional flexibility under the ‘Coding Note’ for Lyme borreliosis to ‘use additional code if desired, to identify any associated condition or sequelae’ and use the ‘extension code ‘Cause of late effect’ (in addition to both codes) to show the relationship between the causative condition and the resulting sequelae’.
ILADS members who contributed to ‘ICD codes report’ are Jenna Luché-Thayer, Leona Gilbert, Richard Horowitz, Kenneth Liegner and Mualla McManus.
The Ad Hoc Committee’s 2018 report, ‘The Situation of Human Rights Defenders of Lyme and Relapsing Fever Borreliosis Patients: Edition One’also emphasized the need to change these ICD codes. ILADS members Jenna Luché-Thayer, Robert Bransfield, Joseph Burrascano, Mualla McManus, Jack Lambert, Kenneth Liegner, Christian Perronne, Ursula Talib and Armin Schwarzbach contributed to the ‘defenders report’ that was entered into UN record in 2018 by Michel Forst Special Rapporteur for the situation of human rights defenders and reviewed by the Special Rapporteur on the right to health.
How a new kind of community is creating a better aging experience
By joining the Beacon Hill Village in Boston, older people commit to helping each other while they stay in their own homes. And they have plenty of fun while doing it, says MIT AgeLab director Joseph F. Coughlin.
Joan Doucette was sipping coffee in a small café at MIT, her bicycle resting next to her. The Institute tends to frown on bringing bicycles into buildings, but only a hard soul could have stopped Doucette from wheeling in hers, with its ribbons streaming from the handlebars, white tires and a front basket filled with yellow and pink flowers.
The demeanor of the 75-year-old cyclist was just as sunny. Doucette peered up from a travel itinerary for a trip to Chicago. “There’s going to be 20 of us going,” she said. “We’re going to take a river trip. We’re going to go to the museums … then we’re going to the Russian tearoom. We’ve got a tour of the skyscrapers. And a lot of us are going to the Frank Lloyd Wright house. So, very busy.”
Doucette spoke with an English accent redolent of her native Surrey, where she was born in 1938. As a young woman, she was a nanny and became involved with the US embassy, which assigned her to foreign posts where she cared for diplomats’ families. When the father of one of those families died, she moved with the mother and kids to Massachusetts. “I was their nanny until I married and their mother remarried,” she said.
In 1970, Doucette began a career at MIT, moving among the Institute’s libraries, alumni relations department, Center for Transportation Studies (now the Center for Transportation and Logistics, home of the AgeLab), industrial relations, corporate development and more. She retired at 62, after having worked at MIT for 25 years. “What am I going to do with my days?” she wondered. The answer that presented itself seemed opportune at the time. She had no idea how revolutionary it would become.
Doucette and her husband moved to an apartment on Beacon Hill, one of the oldest areas in Boston. She didn’t know anyone there and worried about her social life. Then she received an invitation to join the Beacon Hill Village. But it’s not a village per se. It’s a loose confederation of older people who live on Beacon Hill, who, instead of moving to a community or facility devoted to old age, want to stay in their own homes, interact with their friends, eat at their favorite restaurants, and attend their favorite cultural events.
Many of the Village’s founders had seen elder care gone wrong and were resolved to find a better way. “Each of us had witnessed firsthand the distress our relatives experienced as they aged: a mother in a retirement community in Florida who felt lonely and abandoned; a parent in a nursing home, marginalized and overdrugged; an uncle with very limited means and no immediate family to help out,” founding member Susan McWhinney Morse has written.
n 1999, when the Beacon Hill neighbors began to consider creating something different, the story pervasive in the culture was clear. When you grew old, there was only one thing to do: move, whether it was to an independent or assisted living facility, country-club retirement community or nursing home. The neighbors were determined to tell a new story.
The Village’s members agreed to help each other with the small things that come up and to help each other find assistance for the big things. Today, in exchange for annual dues of $675, the Village offers help with tasks like grocery shopping, pet care, light housework and small repairs. For issues that pose a greater challenge — including health, caregiving and financial needs — the organization curates lists of trusted service providers, who sometimes even give member discounts.
The Village also provides access to vetted drivers trained in transporting elderly people who need special care. “They’ll take you shopping for your groceries. If you’re having an operation, they’ll come and pick you up and take you home,” said Doucette. “When I had the new knee put in last September, somebody came and picked me up.”
Perhaps the most essential aspect of life in Beacon Hill Village is what might sound like the least important: the fun. Doucette and her husband joined when the Village first opened to the public in 2002 and began building out its membership base as well as relationships with vendors, providers and contractors. Doucette helped build its social schedule, which, these days, is full.
“On Mondays we have a movie group that come in my house, and we have tea, and I stream a movie. And there’s about ten of us do that. And on Tuesdays, twice a month, there’s another group that meets down at 75 Chestnut” — a snug Beacon Hill restaurant — “and we talk about anything we want to, mostly about theater and movies,” she says. “And that’s called Terrible Tuesdays. And then every Wednesday a group meets on Charles Street in one of the restaurants there. And we talk world affairs mostly . . . And then on Thursdays I got my husband to go and do First Drink, because that’s for the men.” Doucette’s groups are so popular, she says, that she’s started to set up satellite gatherings in other parts of the city.
My immediate response was skeptical when I heard something special was going on across the river from my MIT office. Older people helping each other sounded great in theory, but I wondered how long such an altruistic collective could last. What I found: The Beacon Hill philosophy has not only endured; it’s spread. In the US, the Village to Village Network facilitates the development of Beacon Hill-esque communities. According to the Network, there are at least 190 villages built on the “Beacon Hill model” in all but four states, with 150 in development.
One 2014 study found that a quarter of Villages along the Beacon Hill model are actively working to improve their communities’ attitudes toward older adults. Every day, by going out and creating a positive impression on the people around them, the members of Beacon Hill and other Villages dispel the old myth that elders are unfit to co-mingle with society.
As new Villages have sprung up, several themes have emerged. One is the development of a pay-it-forward ethos. Paid staffs tend to be small, averaging between one and two-and-half full-time employees, so the majority of what Villages provide their members comes from volunteers, most of them members. They’re typically younger and healthier — people in their 50s, 60s and 70s — who provide occasional care to older members in their 80s and 90s. This care isn’t medical or care with the activities of daily living, which usually requires help from professionals or family members. Rather, Villagers assist each other with the issues that come up over the course of a full life.
At the San Francisco Village, member Bill Haskell said he had joined hoping to “pay it forward” to the local older community. “Within 30 days, my partner found out he had to have open-heart surgery. So we needed not to volunteer, we needed help. I needed a lot of help because I’m his primary caregiver,” he said. “Bob had a difficult surgery with a lot of complications. He was in the hospital for two weeks” — far longer than the expected three days. “Then there’s the home period.”
The Village provided Bill with vetted referrals for home care. For times when he needed to run out to the store or the gym, it sent a volunteer to sit with Bob. “People who are members brought over meals when I couldn’t cook any longer,” Bill said. “People we didn’t know brought over dinner for us.”
As appealing as this pay-it-forward mentality may sound, there are drawbacks. For one thing, it’s hard to market. Beacon Hill started as an organization devoted to mutual care and later took on its social-club vibe. The intrinsic focus on care can scare off potential members who don’t think of themselves as patients.
Beacon Hill also doesn’t offer an entirely coherent solution to the problem of identity in retirement. But in many ways, this is a feature, not a failure. Beacon Hill embraces complexity. Members are free to not just pursue a leisure-oriented idea of retirement but other aspirations, including caregiving, interacting with other generations, patronizing cultural institutions, volunteering and working.
If Beacon Hill’s embrace of complexity over clarity makes sense for its members, it also poses a liability in terms of defining a new way of life in old age. It’s hard for its subtle, complicated message to compete with the volume, vividness and simplicity of that broadcast by traditional senior communities. However, Beacon Hill could fight back by doubling down on its own model and offering more services and activities. Increasing its number of social events might allow those in the midst of a transition away from a primary career to wrap themselves in new interests. And a wider variety of workshops, classes, clubs and volunteer jobs would increase its visibility — turning Beacon Hill into, well, a beacon on a hill.
The barrier to achieving this kind of scale is considerable. Joanne Cooper, part of the membership committee at Beacon Hill, said bringing in new members is a challenge. “Two new members come in, four leave, one way or another,” whether they’re “moving to a more structured setting or, unfortunately, passing away.”
The relatively new San Francisco Village has 300 members. Nationwide, said San Francisco leader Kate Hoepke, Village memberships can be measured in the low tens of thousands. “You know, it should be ten times that many.” She wonders if the issue is a lack of funding or visionary leadership. The Village to Village Network’s pattern of growth — fast to spread across America and the globe, yet slow to flourish in sheer membership — might come down to the fact that “so much has happened in such a short period of time. That infrastructure isn’t there yet.”
If you, like me, want to live in a world where older adults and their kids aren’t antagonists but invest in each other, work for each other and help each other, then the Village movement is a good guide to follow. The Beacon Hill model is finding fertile ground in countries such as the UK and Germany. Other experiments in age integration are springing up as well. One program in Germany and Switzerland, Wohnen für Hilfe or Housing for Help, subsidizes the rent of carefully screened students who want to live in older people’s homes and help out with minor chores. The UK has a similar program called Homeshare. A law in Germany provides the 82 percent of elders who say they do not want to live in a nursing home with a grant of up to €10,000 to establish shared, community apartments, with a monthly subsidy of up to €200 per tenant.
The Beacon Hill Village and others like it aren’t perfect. They’re small, and they don’t leverage mobile technology as well as they could to improve connectedness. They’re limited mainly to urban areas, and they tend to skew middle-class-and-up, leaving people out. Still, as new generations of longevity-economy products make it easier to do more in old age than merely recreate and relax, it’s easy to envision something resembling the Beacon Hill Village emerging from our current state of frontier chaos.
Excerpted from the new book The Longevity Economy: Inside the World’s Fastest-Growing, Most Misunderstood Market by Joseph F. Coughlin. Published by PublicAffairs, an imprint of Hachette Book Group. Copyright © 2017 Joseph F. Couglin.
Teen Develops App to Help Teens With Anxiety And Depression
Amanda Southworth came up with AnxietyHelper to help teens with mental health issues. Here’s how it works and how to know if a mental health app is helpful.
Amanda Southworth shows her anxiety app to Apple CEO Tim Cook.
Can smartphone apps help people cope with anxiety and depression?
A 16-year-old software developer in California thinks they can.
Amanda Southworth is the young creator behind AnxietyHelper, an iPhone app designed to help people learn about and manage panic attacks, anxiety, and depression.
Inspired by her own experiences, Southworth wanted to create an easy-to-use platform for people living with these mental health challenges.
“This started for me back when I was in middle school, when I had a lot of issues regarding my own mental health, with depression and anxiety,” Southworth told Healthline.
“After I went through that, I wanted to create an all-in-one place where anybody could go and find information, resources, and tools,” she explained.
“Instead of spending hours looking on the internet,” she continued, “they could maybe spend 15 minutes perusing what I created, and they would have a solid idea of what they’re up against, how to fight it, and what they need to do next.”
How the app works
AnxietyHelper provides information about depression, anxiety, and panic attacks, as well as resources related to other mental health conditions.
It also offers interactive tools, designed to help users cope with mental illness on a day-to-day basis.
“The app has different tools that allow you to deal with mental health on the go, which kind of gamifies a lot of the aspects of therapy,” Southworth said.
For example, the app’s “guided vent” feature invites users to talk through their feelings to experience emotional release.
Amanda Southworth, 16, developed the AnxietyHelper app to help teens.
Its “guided breathing” feature promotes relaxation through meditative breathing breaks.
The app can also help users locate mental health services during a crisis.
“One of my favorite quotes is ‘be the person you needed when you were younger,’” Southworth said. “I wanted to create something that I would have wanted and something that I really needed when I was going through all of this.”
In addition to designing AnxietyHelper, Southworth is also the executive director of Astra Labs, a nonprofit software development company that she co-founded earlier this year.
Some apps are better than others
Mobile health apps constitute a rapidly growing market — and many software developers have designed apps that target users with mental illness.
Stephen Schueller, PhD, an assistant professor of preventive medicine at Northwestern University in Illinois who studies online mental health interventions, told Healthline that some of these apps may provide useful information and support.
“There’s the potential that these apps can help reach people who wouldn’t be able to go see a professional otherwise,” Schueller said.
Due to a shortage of mental health professionals and affordable services, many people with mental illness lack access to professional care.
Additionally, some people may be reluctant or unwilling to seek professional support and prefer to self-manage their mental health needs.
It’s possible that high-quality mental health apps may provide benefits to such people, as well as those who receive professional care but want additional support.
However, it can be challenging to know which apps to choose.
“A lot of them are untested, so we don’t actually know if they work,” Schueller noted.
“There could also be really bad apps out there,” he continued. “I receive and evaluate a lot of apps, and sometimes you open them up and there’s content in there that’s not just wrong but could actually be harmful.”
Some mental health professionals also worry that users might rely on apps, when they would otherwise seek professional care.
Schueller acknowledged that’s possible, but he hasn’t seen evidence of it himself.
“I know a lot of professionals are worried that people will download these apps, not see professionals, and never go for treatment later. I think it’s possible that would occur, but that’s not borne out by my research at least,” Schueller said.
“Actually, what I find more often is people start to use an app, and if they use it a bit, they find there’s more to this mental health treatment stuff than they thought originally, and they actually have more positive impressions of mental health treatment than they had before and are more likely to seek care afterward,” he said.
Collaboration is important
Schueller directs the nonprofit website PsyberGuide.org, founded by the organization One Mind to help users make informed choices.
This website provides information about mental health apps, including their credibility, user friendliness, and privacy policies.
“We look at credibility. So, how much research evidence is there behind this thing, both direct and indirect? We look at the user experience. Is it aesthetically pleasing, it is easy to learn, is it easy to use? And then we look at transparency around data security and privacy practices,” Schueller explained.
This project is partnered with several mental health organizations, including the Anxiety and Depression Association of America and Mental Health America.
According to Schueller, such collaboration is important for leveraging the opportunities that technologies provide.
“There’s this really interesting potential now for someone to go through an experience, learn what helps them, and build a tool that might be able to help others,” he said.
“At the same time, we also have to make sure that what works for one person is actually generalizable and useful to others,” he continued. “As academics, professionals, and mental health providers, we need to make sure that we can help people who are developing these ideas, try to vet them, and see if these things actually do work — so we can spread the stuff that is useful and prevent the things that are not going to be helpful to people.”
More research is also needed to learn how mental health providers can best integrate mental health apps and other digital technologies into their practices.
In the meantime, Schueller encourages people who experience symptoms of mental illness to reach out to family members, friends, and health professionals for help.
“Technology might be a piece of the puzzle to help cope with some of the experiences of depression or anxiety that someone is going through, but it’s not a panacea — it’s not going to solve the whole problem,” he said.
“I think that thinking about a variety of different options usually makes a lot of sense,” he continued. “Talk with your medical provider about this, if you have a medical provider, even if they’re not a mental health professional. They can hopefully get you connected with services once they know more about what you’re going through.”
Written by Heather Cruickshank on June 28, 2018
DEA Drug Abuse/Prevention Handbook
The DEA publishes short handbooks in PDF format you can download. If you are not interested in this publication look thru the archives for a topic of interest.
http://www.dea.gov/documents/2017/06/15/drugs-abuse
M
Great Find In Russian Street Art
Psychiatric Hospital Stay 2001 *Final*
Journal 12/23/2001
Just to go home and spend time with my pets will make a big difference in mood. I look forward to seeing Christmas Cards and learning how friends are doing. The stack of mail will cover the dining table. Plenty of new magazines to read going into new year.
After ECT on Friday I’m determined to go home, he can’t intimidate me. This feels like jail at times but I’m free to walk when ready. I did say future ECT would be out-patient, that was a bold face lie. I’m never stepping foot in here again.
This is the slowest week, counting the minutes to jail break. Only one book left to read, I’ll have to sleep half a day tomorrow. What is shipping from eBay? I went on big shopping spree before check in, it made me feel better. That’s not true, still trying to fill the big void.
Time to set goals! Paint office, clean carpet, organize office closet, clean garage………..let’s see how long I stay on task.
12/24/2001
I had ECT early in morning, slept till noon it’s now 2:00 and time to pack. Told front desk the doctor needed to know I’m leaving. Another two hours of BS but I’m home bound. It is not advisable to drive day of ECT treatment but that will not stop me today. I miss my bed and privacy.
I’m unsure of the value in the post, do the journal entries help anyone? I waited until 2018 to write, it wasn’t a deep seeded trauma. I felt no pain writing this.
I pray people will research the reputation of hospital first. Can they provide the specific help you need? If you don’t know what to expect you may sell your recovery short.
M
Friday Quote
Here is my advice as we begin the century that will lead to 2081. First, guard the freedom of ideas at all costs. Be alert that dictators have always played on the natural human tendency to blame others and to oversimplify. And don’t regard yourself as a guardian of freedom unless you respect and preserve the rights of people you disagree with to free, public, unhampered expression.
~Gerard K. O’Neill, 2081
Netflix Original Series “Afflicted” Looks Deep At Chronic Illnesses
Netflix original series “Afflicted” season one has started and you can look at latest trailer at http://www.netflix.com/title/80188953
The Netflix promo grabbed me by the neck and said watch me. “Afflicted” is a show with the people who have baffling long-term chronic illnesses telling their story. Talking with medical professionals, most are clueless what is causing the illnesses.
M
What Is Sexual Harassment
Sometimes there is a fine line, know where your line is. Most important report, get the predators fired or behind bars. M
Aretha Franklin Rest In Peace
I pray her family holds each others hand and celebrates the incredible life of Aretha. She will be with us always. M
Sexual Assault of Men and Boys
Why doesn’t Sexual Assault of men and boys receive equal, mainstream media coverage as Women? We have to help change to allow healing. Sexual Assault does not discriminate! Joyful Heart Foundation partnered with 1 in 6 to create awareness and initiatives creating a safe environment to discuss trauma with peers. Please check out both organizations for support or how you can help volunteer today. M
RAINN NEWS
Sexual assault can happen to anyone, no matter your age, sexual orientation, or gender identity. Men and boys who have been sexually assaulted or abused may have many of the same feelings and reactions as other survivors of sexual assault, but they may also face some additional challenges because of social attitudes and stereotypes about men and masculinity.
Common reactions
Men and boys who have been sexually assaulted may experience the same effects of sexual assault as other survivors, and they may face other challenges that are more unique to their experience.
Some men who have survived sexual assault as adults feel shame or self-doubt, believing that they should have been “strong enough” to fight off the perpetrator. Many men who experienced an erection or ejaculation during the assault may be confused and wonder what this means. These normal physiological responses do not in any way imply that you wanted, invited, or enjoyed the assault. If something happened to you, know that it is not your fault and you are not alone.
Men who were sexually abused as boys or teens may also respond differently than men who were sexually assaulted as adults. The following list includes some of the common experiences shared by men and boys who have survived sexual assault. It is not a complete list, but it may help you to know that other people are having similar experiences:
- Anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, flashbacks, and eating disorders
- Avoiding people or places that remind you of the assault or abuse
- Concerns or questions about sexual orientation
- Fear of the worst happening and having a sense of a shortened future
- Feeling like “less of a man” or that you no longer have control over your own body
- Feeling on-edge, being unable to relax, and having difficulty sleeping
- Sense of blame or shame over not being able to stop the assault or abuse, especially if you experienced an erection or ejaculation
- Withdrawal from relationships or friendships and an increased sense of isolation
- Worrying about disclosing for fear of judgement or disbelief
Who are the perpetrators of sexual assault against men and boys?
Perpetrators can be any gender identity, sexual orientation, or age, and they can have any relationship to the victim. Like all perpetrators, they might use physical force or psychological and emotional coercion tactics.
Can being assaulted affect sexual orientation?
Sexual assault is in no way related to the sexual orientation of the perpetrator or the survivor, and a person’s sexual orientation cannot be caused by sexual abuse or assault. Some men and boys have questions about their sexuality after surviving an assault or abuse—and that’s understandable. This can be especially true if you experienced an erection or ejaculation during the assault. Physiological responses like an erection are involuntary, meaning you have no control over them.
Sometimes perpetrators, especially adults who sexually abuse boys, will use these physiological responses to maintain secrecy by using phrases such as, “You know you liked it.” If you have been sexually abused or assaulted, it is not your fault. In no way does an erection invite unwanted sexual activity, and ejaculation in no way condones an assault.
How to support male survivors
It can be hard to tell someone that you have experienced sexual assault or abuse. You may fear that you will face judgement or not be believed. For many male survivors, stereotypes about masculinity can also make it hard to disclose to friends, family, or the community. Men and boys also may face challenges believing that it is possible for them to be victims of sexual violence, especially if it is perpetrated by a woman. Below are a few suggestions on how you can support a man or boy who discloses to you that he has experienced sexual assault or abuse.
- Listen. Many people in crisis feel as though no one understands them and that they are not taken seriously. Show them they matter by giving your undivided attention. It is hard for many survivors to disclose assault or abuse, especially if they fear not being believed because of stereotypes about masculinity.
- Validate their feelings. Avoid making overly positive statements like “It will get better” or trying to manage their emotions, like “Snap out of it” or “You shouldn’t feel so bad.” Make statements like “I believe you” or “That sounds like a really hard thing to go through.”
- Express concern. Tell them in a direct way that you care about them by saying something like “I care about you” or “I am here for you.”
- Do not ask about details of the assault. Even if you are curious about what happened and feel that you want to fully understand it, avoid asking for details of how the assault occurred. However, if a survivor chooses to share those details with you, try your best to listen in a supportive and non-judgemental way.
- Provide appropriate resources. There may be other aspects in men’s lives that could limit their ability to access resources and services after experiencing sexual assault or abuse. For example, trans men may face barriers when navigating medical care or black men may have concerns about reaching out to law enforcement. Be sensitive to these worries, and when supporting a survivor try your best to suggest resources you feel will be most helpful.
What if I experienced sexual assault as an adult?
Some men who have survived sexual assault as adults feel shame or self-doubt, believing that they should have been “strong enough” to fight off the perpetrator. Many men who experienced an erection or ejaculation during the assault may be confused and wonder what this means. These normal physiological responses do not in any way imply that you wanted, invited, or enjoyed the assault. If you were sexually assaulted, it was not your fault. You can find help at 1in6, an organization RAINN partners with that is dedicated to helping men who have survived unwanted or abusive sexual experiences.
What if the abuse happened when I was a minor?
If you were sexually abused when you were a child or a teenager, you may have different feelings and reactions at different times in your life. The 1in6 website has answers to many of the questions or concerns you might have as an adult survivor of child or teen sexual abuse.
How could this affect my relationships?
Coming forward about surviving sexual assault or sexual abuse can be difficult. It requires a lot of trust and understanding both for you and the person you choose to tell. You can find answers to some of the questions you might have about telling a partner at 1in6.
Finding support
If something happened to you, know that you are not alone.
- Visit the helpline. 1in6 has partnered with RAINN to offer the 24/7 helpline for men, their loved ones, and service providers who are seeking immediate information and resources related to sexual assault or abuse.
- Visit online.rainn.org. Chat anonymously and confidentially with a RAINN support specialist who is trained to help.
- Call the National Sexual Assault Hotline. Call 800.656.HOPE (4763) to be connected to a trained staff member from a local sexual assault service provider in your area.
- Consider therapy or other mental health support. Some therapists specialize in issues you may be facing as a result of the abuse or assault. You may want to speak on the phone or meet with a few therapists before deciding which one is the best fit for you. You can ask your insurance company which providers are covered by your insurance plan. You can also visit use the Mental Health Treatment Locator function from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). Find the center that is closest to you and best fits your needs.
- Read more at Jimhopper.com: The articles on this website provide information about the effects of child sexual abuse on adult men and their loved ones.
- Read more at Malesurvivor.org: This resource contains general information as well as a therapist search specifically designed for male survivors of sexual violence.
More resources
Being able to share your story with other male survivors may be important in feeling less alone and connecting with others in your healing process. Read survivor stories of men who have experienced sexual assault or abuse as children, teens, and adults.
- Adam’s story: “Do not internalize the abuse, because that will make it seem that the abuse is happening all over again.”
- Brad’s story: “I think for me and possibly other men, it’s a huge pride thing—feeling like you have to be the man and face your problems and get over it.”
- Brian’s story: “Showing emotion about being abused? It’s not well-accepted. As a Black man, you’ve been broken down so much that you have to put on a face of being strong. We have a lot of pain that is unattended to.”
- Danyol’s story: “Talking about it really does take back power from the trauma.”
- Keith’s story: “I was afraid of what people would think. I was ashamed that a man sexually assaulted me…that I didn’t fight hard enough.”
- Scott’s story: “Reading stories from other men and hearing what they’ve become and accomplished after the abuse has uplifted me.”
Know *DEA* Drug Schedule For Your Prescriptions
The information is from the DEA.GOV website. It’s important to know the Schedule of the prescriptions you take, they may have Government regulations. According to CVS all Class II prescriptions are kept in a safe and only the pharmacist can open. Did you know the local pharmacy reports usage to DEA if your “RANDOM” name shows up on monthly list. It’s interesting how many “RANDOM” times my name came up.
Why do I know this information? From hours of conversations with the CVS Pharmacist. Why? Why? Why? Why? Who? Who? Reported? Reported? According to CVS Pharmacist they are under a microscope, having to account for each pill, which patient picked up and on what day. This is only for Scheduled prescriptions.
I take drugs in Schedule II and III, rules changes are most often made by DEA. Shop at CVS you may find Caremark (corporate) adds their rules on top of, the reason I no longer do business with CVS. You may find our prescription are only available for pick up two days before you run out. M
DEA.GOV Drug Scheduling
Drug Schedules
Drugs, substances, and certain chemicals used to make drugs are classified into five (5) distinct categories or schedules depending upon the drug’s acceptable medical use and the drug’s abuse or dependency potential.
The abuse rate is a determinate factor in the scheduling of the drug; for example, Schedule I drugs have a high potential for abuse and the potential to create severe psychological and/or physical dependence. As the drug schedule changes– Schedule II, Schedule III, etc., so does the abuse potential–
Schedule V drugs represents the least potential for abuse. A Listing of drugs and their schedule are located at Controlled Substance Act (CSA) Scheduling or CSA Scheduling by Alphabetical Order. These lists describes the basic or parent chemical and do not necessarily describe the salts, isomers and salts of isomers, esters, ethers and derivatives which may also be classified as controlled substances. These lists are intended as general references and are not comprehensive listings of all controlled substances.
Please note that a substance need not be listed as a controlled substance to be treated as a Schedule I substance for criminal prosecution. A controlled substance analogue is a substance which is intended for human consumption and is structurally or pharmacologically substantially similar to or is represented as being similar to a Schedule I or Schedule II substance and is not an approved medication in the United States. (See 21 U.S.C. §802(32)(A) for the definition of a controlled substance analogue and 21 U.S.C. §813 for the schedule.)
Schedule I
Schedule I drugs, substances, or chemicals are defined as drugs with no currently accepted medical use and a high potential for abuse. Some examples of Schedule I drugs are:
heroin, lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD), marijuana (cannabis), 3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine (ecstasy), methaqualone, and peyote
Schedule II
Schedule II drugs, substances, or chemicals are defined as drugs with a high potential for abuse, with use potentially leading to severe psychological or physical dependence. These drugs are also considered dangerous. Some examples of Schedule II drugs are:
Combination products with less than 15 milligrams of hydrocodone per dosage unit (Vicodin), cocaine, methamphetamine, methadone, hydromorphone (Dilaudid), meperidine (Demerol), oxycodone (OxyContin), fentanyl, Dexedrine, Adderall, and Ritalin
Schedule III
Schedule III drugs, substances, or chemicals are defined as drugs with a moderate to low potential for physical and psychological dependence. Schedule III drugs abuse potential is less than Schedule I and Schedule II drugs but more than Schedule IV. Some examples of Schedule III drugs are:
Products containing less than 90 milligrams of codeine per dosage unit (Tylenol with codeine), ketamine, anabolic steroids, testosterone
Schedule IV
Schedule IV drugs, substances, or chemicals are defined as drugs with a low potential for abuse and low risk of dependence. Some examples of Schedule IV drugs are:
Xanax, Soma, Darvon, Darvocet, Valium, Ativan, Talwin, Ambien, Tramadol
Schedule V
Schedule V drugs, substances, or chemicals are defined as drugs with lower potential for abuse than Schedule IV and consist of preparations containing limited quantities of certain narcotics. Schedule V drugs are generally used for antidiarrheal, antitussive, and analgesic purposes. Some examples of Schedule V drugs are:
cough preparations with less than 200 milligrams of codeine or per 100 milliliters (Robitussin AC), Lomotil, Motofen, Lyrica, Parepectolin
>> Alphabetical listing of Controlled Substances
Under Construction *I Need Your Help*
I am changing themes to allow Wordads. Please be patient as I play around with themes and let me know which one you like!!!!!!
Have a great day and look forward to your feedback.
M
It’s A Beautiful Day
You are strong, your words are important, you are loved. M
Friday Quote
Only
those who
risk going
too far can
possibly
find out how
far one can
go
T.S. Eliot
Short Informative Videos on Lyme Disease
If your doctor does not listen to your physical complaints change doctors ASAP. This holds true for anyone. Lyme is real, Chronic Lyme does exist and there is no cure. Some will argue using supplements will cure Lyme. Do your homework if this sounds like the healthy treatment. Many Lyme patients take supplements, conventional and non-conventional medicine. I took more supplements than RX’s along with my IV Antibiotic Therapy.
Keep pushing forward, many Lyme symptoms mimic other diseases. Open your mind to the type of doctors you consult with. I spent several years like many going from doctor to doctor. Finally I was referred to a Neurologist, she spent a year performing every test possible. All the test were abnormal yet not abnormal enough for her to make a diagnosis. When there were no more test, we parted ways.
I researched by taking key words from each test and putting together. The search was short and narrowed down to an autoimmune disease. I thought back to when I first started having symptoms and Lyme made the most sense. I got lucky, but don’t stop researching. NEVER LET A DOCTOR TELL YOU IT’S ALL IN YOUR HEAD! You are stronger than you think. M
A New Tick Species Is Spreading Across The United States
But Here’s What You Should Really Worry About
The New York Times reported yesterday that a new-to-the-United-States tick species has been identified in seven states in recent months, after an infestation was first discovered last summer in New Jersey. The tick is native to Asia, where it is known to carry a dangerous virus that kills 15% of the people it bites. But it has spread in recent years—to Australia, New Zealand, several Pacific islands, and now to America.
An invasive tick species surely sounds like something out of a horror film, especially given the explosion of tick populations and tick-borne diseases here in the States in recent years. But before you start freaking out about this specific critter—Haemaphysalis longicornis, or the the Asian longhorned tick, as it’s known—let’s put a few things into perspective.
First, none of the Asian longhorned ticks discovered here in the United States has been found to carry any human diseases. (According to the New York Times, the longhorned ticks are, at least for now, considered a greater threat to livestock than they are to people.)
“People should not extrapolate that just because this tick carries a potentially serious virus in the Far East, that next year everyone here will have that same disease,” John Aucott, MD, director of the Lyme Disease Research Center at Johns Hopkins University Medical Center, tells Health. “We don’t want to connect dots that may never be connected in real life.” Plus, he adds, the Asian longhorned tick has only been found in a few localities so far in the United States.
“We certainly don’t want it spreading all over the country, which is why public health officials should definitely be paying attention to this,” Dr. Aucott says. “But for the general public, there are a lot more important things—both having to do with tick-borne illnesses and other things—that should be of greater concern.”
One of those things is the “very real epidemic” of diseases being spread by ticks native to the United States. “Instead of focusing on the theoretical risk of some exotic imported tick species,” he says, “people should be paying more attention to actually protecting themselves from these much bigger threats.”
Deer ticks, for example (also known as blacklegged ticks), can spread Lyme disease, Powassan virus, and anaplasmosis, among other infections; they can also cause tick paralysis. Their numbers are on the rise throughout the United States, as are the diseases they carry.
According to a recent report from lab-testing service Quest Diagnostics, Lyme disease rates have skyrocketed in recent years. Positive test results have now been reported in all 50 states as well as Washington D.C., and several states reported sharp increases in positive test results between 2015 and 2017. (Yes, you may have seen that scary headline this week, too.)
That specific report may not offer the most scientifically reliable data, says Dr. Aucott: It hasn’t been published in a peer-reviewed medical journal, it’s based only on tests done by Quest Diagnostics and not by other facilities, and it can only show what state people were in when they tested positive for Lyme disease bacteria—not where they actually were when they were infected.
But in general, he says, the data is in line with other research. “It’s true that Lyme disease has been spreading relentlessly since the 1970s and that it has spread dramatically on the East Coast and in the Upper Midwest especially,” he says.
Other conditions spread by different types of native ticks—like Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever and alpha-gal syndrome (which involves a sudden allergy to red meat)—have also seen increases in recent years.
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These are the truly scary statistics, says Dr. Aucott, and the real reason people need to be vigilant about ticks that might be lurking in their yards and in nearby grasses and forests.
“Everyone loves to worry about these things, but very few people actually make the effort to protect themselves,” he says. For starters, he recommends wearing long pants when you’re out in the woods or tall grasses, using insect repellant containing DEET, and treating your clothing with permethrin.
“I know it’s no fun to wear long pants in Maryland when it’s 95 degrees, but I do it because I don’t want to get Lyme disease,” he says. “We’ve gotten across to people the importance of wearing a seatbelt and not drinking and driving, but we haven’t yet gotten the message across that tick-bite prevention is something that people should take just as seriously.”
Video: You Found a Tick. Now What? (Health.com)
RELATED: 11 Ways to Protect Yourself (and Your Pets) From Ticks
Why Doctors Are Offering Free Tax Prep In Their Waiting Rooms
The Path Not Seen
Thank you Daniel for sharing. Sounds beautiful, except the climbing! M
Friday Quote
The bee collects honey from flowers in such a way as to do the least damage or destruction to them, and he leaves them whole, undamaged and fresh, just as he found them.
Saint Francis de Sales
Interview with Cynthia Maniglia from Sand Salt Moon
Please vist For the Love of Art.blog to see more of our favorites. Melinda
Don’t Forget About These Kids!
It’s almost the start of school, please consider buying a backpack already supplied or buy supplies yourself. Our Kroger is having a backpack drive. Have a great day. M
Our local domestic violence center is collecting school supplies for the young victims of domestic violence. In this season of school supply shopping, I think that I must live in a very compassionate town. Local churches and businesses collect backpacks and supplies for local kids in need. There are back to school bashes and mass giveaways. There is a high poverty rate here, and every bit of support counts!
Even with all of the great support, there is a group that the bashes and giveaways don’t necessarily reach. Domestic violence survivors and the children involved are not likely to partake in these.
When the AoA kids and I left our abuser, socializing was not something we did much. Fear followed us at its strongest, during the first year of survival. In addition to fear, it never crossed my mind that there was something we needed. I just focused on staying…
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