We like to believe that we live in a generally safe world where our quality of life isn’t continually on the line. If we didn’t, we’d struggle to leave the house in the morning. 

But the truth is that we don’t live on a perfectly safe planet. In fact, there are dangers everywhere. 

Every minute of the day, for instance, somebody is injured in a crash, and many of the victims have life-changing disabilities that stay with them for the rest of their lives. 

You can’t really understand disability until you’ve experienced it. Suddenly, you find out that you can’t do all the things you used to be able to do, and it creates a whirlwind of emotions. Life just isn’t the same afterward, either mentally or physically. 

Anger

For many people, the first response is anger. If their disability was their fault, they feel a kind of rage against themselves. Why did they put themselves in danger? 

If their disability was somebody else’s fault, they feel a sense of violation against the person who did it to them, even if it was unintentional. There are often long court battles as people attempt to get compensation from another party. 

The anger, however, eventually becomes a cost if it lingers. The longer it goes on, the more it taxes the individuals. Eventually, it can harm their health further, leading to forms of depression and chronic disease. 

Depression

Losing your abilities is a little bit like losing somebody you love. If you can no longer walk, for instance, you go through a process of grieving over that loss. Instinctively, you know that the ability isn’t going to come back. And so you have to psychologically and emotionally deal with that fact before you can move on. 

For many victims, this means a protracted period of depression. You don’t feel like doing anything. Your life feels incredibly limited and you don’t think you have the ability or the skills to enjoy it to the full anymore. 

That kind of mentality is quite destructive, but also commonplace in people who’ve been injured or develop a chronic condition. The trick, of course, is to recognize that life does go on and that there are plenty of things you can do to enjoy your existence. 

Loneliness

In some situations, disability can also breed loneliness. Some people find that they are more isolated from their friends and family because of the fact that they can no longer get around as well as they used to.

Loneliness can also occur at an emotional level too. When you have a disability, you feel somewhat alienated from the people around you. Unlike you, they don’t know what it is like to be housebound or bedbound. And so they can’t really understand what life is like for a person in your situation. 

The solution here is to join a group of people who do understand what you’re going through so that you can voice your feelings and make them known. 

This is a collaborative post.

In health,

Melinda

Stress can be a huge factor in our lives that drags us down and makes everything ten times more difficult. Unfortunately, there’s not much you can do about stress outside of just running away from it unless you deal with the root cause.

When it comes to working at home, there are countless things that can cause stress which affects our productivity and makes it hard for us to focus on our tasks. This can result in extremely unproductive days that we look back on and feel extremely bad about. So in this post, we’re going to talk about how you can keep your stress levels low when you work from home.

Source: https://unsplash.com/photos/-2vD8lIhdnw (CC0)

Keep distractions at bay

One of the first things to deal with is distractions. Make absolutely sure that you keep distractions at bay by understanding where they come from and why they happen. For instance, if you find that your dog is restless whenever you start working, consider taking them out for a walk and feeding them before you get started so they spend their energy and laze around. Similarly, if you find that you keep getting distracted by the TV, turn it off! If you can’t focus on something in the background, get rid of it (if possible!) and work in silence if you have to.

Make time for breaks

A lot of people forget that taking breaks is important when it comes to working from home. They don’t realize that taking a break helps to reset your mind and gives you an opportunity to catch up with other tasks. This could include returning phone calls, it could involve feeding your cat, or it could just be to stretch and walk around to give your legs a break. If you’re not already taking breaks, make sure you start doing it regularly!

Work in a comfortable environment

It’s also a good idea to start working in a comfortable environment. Make sure that your chair is comfortable and that your posture is supported. You should consider looking at companies such as obVus Solutions to find ergonomic devices and accessories that will help you work from home without causing pain and stress on your body. A lot of us find it hard to adapt to a work-at-home environment because it’s different from our offices that are designed around healthy ergonomics, hence why many of us feel stressed when we’re stuck at home.

Separate your work and your leisure

It’s also a good idea to separate leisure and work if you have to work from home. Sure, a lot of people answer phone calls, chat with friends, and even listen to music when they work from home. However, these things can lead to distractions and they might bleed into your regular work schedule, making you less productive. As such, you should try to separate your work and leisure as much as possible before your work tasks end up merging with your free time at home.

This is a collaborative post.

In health,

Melinda

Stress is a major thorn in the side for many people. While it is natural and beneficial in certain scenarios, chronic stress is very unhealthy. It can have negative effects on your physical and mental health. If you are regularly hampered by stress and anxiety, it’s important to address it. Failing to acknowledge continuous stress can trigger further problems.

Before taking action to combat stress, it’s important to acknowledge what it actually is. Stress is one of the body’s natural defense mechanisms. In times of danger, people generally react through a fight-or-flight response. Your mind and body recognize the danger and get prepared for you to either fight or flight. 

When you’re body goes into fight or flight mode, it is in a state of stress. Your senses are heightened, your alertness and focus are peaked, and your energy leaves are fueled by adrenaline. While this is beneficial in times of true peril, stress does not add value to your life in most scenarios. 

If you suffer from unnecessary stress, you should find some ways to manage it. With this in mind, here are four tips for avoiding unnecessary stress in life.

Get active

Exercise is a natural stress reliever. It provides a mental escape and keeps your body physically fit. During exercise, the human body produces endorphins. These have a tremendous impact on your mood and work wonders in battling stress. A natural release of endorphins can also help you sleep better, further reducing stress levels.

Make an effort to stay active as much as possible. Rhythmic exercises such as walking, biking, or running are particularly beneficial as they produce a meditative effect. 

Work on time management

Time management is key when you live a busy lifestyle. Failing to effectively manage your regular workload can lead to long-term and chronic stress. At times where you’re under serious pressure, organization and time management can guide you.

One of the best ways to get on top of time management is to schedule. Different scheduling styles work for different people. Some work best with extremely detailed plans, while others work best with more vague to-do lists.

Find out what you’re best suited to and start to manage your time more efficiently.

Beware of scams

In the technological era, there are countless manipulative scams out there that prey on the vulnerable. Having confidential information or money stolen from you can leave you in a financial predicament. What’s more, it can cause a great deal of stress and anxiety.

Practice mindful activities

Mindfulness revolves around centering your mind and being present in the moment. This helps detach your mind from unnecessary stress and it relieves your consciousness of clutter, bringing clarity to your mental state. 

Practicing mindful techniques such as meditation and yoga can work wonders for reducing stress. There is a myriad of free online guides to help get you started. Meditation apps are a great way to get into a routine, as they have a number of guided sessions. 

In health,

Melinda

Are you currently feeling lost, not knowing what to do or where to go? While you may be confused and unsure of yourself in certain moments, you have much more clarity than you may be willing to admit. The feeling of confusion arises when you have too many conflicting thoughts running through your mind, and you do not have a way to hold them back and keep them at bay.

But life is full of ups and downs. So, it is not a surprise that anyone can fall victim to confusion. Even though you may feel all alone, you are not. Try focusing on persevering and getting through the problem.

But how do you go about it? What should you do when you are feeling lost and confused with life?

Be Honest with Yourself and Accept the Situation

Running from problems never solves anything. Rather than pretending that everything is okay, admit that you have a problem and take responsibility for it. You will only make the situation worse by ignoring it. The first step towards solving any confusing situation is by admitting that you have a problem. Only then can you get clarity of the confusing situation that you are facing and find a solution.

Relax and Avoid Panicking

Every time you run from a problem, there is a high probability of panicking and developing anxiety—panic and fear sets in when you start becoming afraid. If you allow it to drive you, you may create negative thoughts that may lead you to make the wrong decisions.

Instead, it would help if you strengthened yourself to face the problem through relaxation. Relaxing helps to quiet your mind making you feel calm and peaceful. Relaxation is not only good for overcoming confusion but also for stress relief. Some relaxing methods you can use include practicing mindful meditation, listening to soothing music, soaking in a warm bath, and breathing exercises.

Focus on What you Know

When confusion sets in, your mind may be thrown through a web of repetitive and consistent thoughts without a beginning or end. To get yourself out of such a situation, you should focus more on first solving what you can understand. Only then can you slowly lift off the cloud of confusion that hovers over your life.

Be Patient

Confusion is a sign that you need to take some more time before making a decision. You should accept and be at peace with the fact that you may not have all the answers. Instead of rushing to make a decision when your mind is clouded with confusion, you should take a step back and consider listening to your gut feeling.

You do not have to make your decision quickly. Take your time until you are comfortable and confident enough to trust your gut.

Take Away

Apart from stress, panic disorder, and anxiety, several other reasons may lead to confusion. For this reason, you should seek medical attention if you or anyone you know shows signs of confusion and anxiety. It may not be very comforting at first, but you can quickly deal with it by taking immediate action to boost your mental health. 

Being stuck in confusion is not necessarily bad. It highlights that no matter the path you decide to take, you will overcome the feeling of being lost.

This is a collaborative post.

In health,

Melinda

Fast Company

11-29-20

BY JORY MACKAY

Similar to productivity shame–the feeling that you’ve never done enough–time anxiety is when you feel you never have enough time to meet your goals or that you’re not maximizing the time you do have.

How often do you feel like you just don’t have enough time? Despite trying every time management technique and productivity strategyin the book, do you find it impossible to shake the feeling that time is slipping away? This is called time anxiety.

Similar to productivity shame–the feeling that you’ve never done enough–time anxiety is when you feel you never have enough time to meet your goals or that you’re not maximizing the time you do have.

“Time is what we want most, but what we use worst.” — William Penn

In our productivity-obsessed world, it’s common to feel overwhelmed with your schedule and workload from time to time.

But time anxiety is more than just a momentary spike in your workday stress. It’s an emotional specter that haunts your days, causes you to procrastinate on important tasks, and can even lead to burnout.

Unlike other aspects of our lives, time can never be controlled. So how can you move past the anxiety of time’s uncontrollable nature and learn to feel good about yourself and your work?

WHY YOU CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT HOW LITTLE TIME YOU HAVE

Time anxiety is the terrible feeling that you never have enough time and aren’t doing enough with the time you do have. But to understand why you feel this way, you first need to understand your relationship with time.

As children, time usually doesn’t mean much to us. Yes, we follow a bit of a schedule. But for the most part, we’re left to fill long, unstructured days with games and learning.

As we become teenagers, however, time starts to gain importance. We have school and sports and hobbies and friends to fill it. Not only that, but we’re often told that “wasting time” now will ruin our future.

Then, suddenly, time becomes our most important and scarce resource. As adults, we have college, work, families, and all other sorts of serious responsibilities that demand our time and attention.

As we get older, time becomes something we not only have to consider but try to control.

But here’s the irony: The more we focus on the limited time we have, the more limiting our time feels.

In other words, the more you worry about time, the more time feels like something you need to worry about.

In this way, time anxiety is a lot like the Pink Rhinoceros problem.

If I ask you not to think about a pink rhino, it’s going to be the first thing that pops into your mind.

Psychologists call this ironic process theory–the process where the deliberate attempt to suppress certain thoughts makes them more likely to surface.

That’s why you can’t tell someone to just stop worrying about time. The more you try to stop time anxiety, the more you’re likely to worry about it.

THREE TYPES OF TIME ANXIETY IMPACT YOUR PRESENT, FUTURE, AND OVERALL HAPPINESS

Instead of ignoring time anxiety, you need to understand how it impacts your thoughts, behaviors, and even habits. That’s because time anxiety impacts our thinking beyond just feeling stressed over your daily schedule.

In fact, time anxiety shows itself in multiple ways. Here are a few examples:

• Daily time anxiety: This is the feeling of never having enough time in your day. You feel rushed. Stressed. Overwhelmed.
• Future time anxiety: These are the “What ifs?” that ravage your brain. You feel paralyzed thinking through everything that may or may not happen in the future depending on your actions today.
• Existential time anxiety: This is the overall anxiety of only have a limited time to live your life. No matter how much you race ahead or push forward, there’s only one finish line.

Now more than ever we demand that we make our time meaningful. This translates into anxiety about how we spend our time today, but also about how those actions impact our future.

The common answer is to focus on what you’re doing right now.

Create a schedule that supports all your goals. Build better habitsand remove distractions that waste your time. Get better at estimating projects. Prioritize important work, so you feel accomplished at the end of the day.

And while all those strategies work to help you use your time better, they don’t address the underlying issue.

HOW TO DEAL WITH TIME ANXIETY (ONCE AND FOR ALL)

Overcoming time anxiety comes down to awareness, understanding, and action.

In this sense, RescueTime was built to help people deal with time anxiety. We saw how our friends and colleagues constantly got to the end of the day and asked “Where did my time go?”

RescueTime observes how you spend time in apps, websites, and projects and gives you in-depth reports on your habits. It helps shine a light on where your time goes, which is a massive help in reducing time anxiety. The RescueTime dashboard shows you how you spend your time in apps, websites, and tools. But can too much observation of where your time goes actually add to your time anxiety?

The short answer is yes. Obsessing over any aspect of your life will lead to anxiety and stress and time is no different.

However, being unaware of where your time is going is just as stressful and can be one of the causes of time anxiety in the first place.

Think of it like the dieter wanting to lose weight. Obsessing over every calorie and carb is stressful and unsustainable. But ignoring what you’re eating won’t bring the results you want. It’s all about finding a balance between awareness and action so you can continue living your life.

If you want to remove time anxiety and feel better about your days, here are a few strategies to try.

1. Acknowledge your relationship with time

It’s probably been a long time since you thought about what time means to you (if ever).

But time anxiety builds when we ignore or try to manipulate the ways that time impacts our day. To start, you need to accept some truths about time:

• Time exists
• You can’t stop time from moving or slow it down
• All you have control over is what you do in the future

This might seem like a silly first step, but acknowledging time’s impact on your life is a powerful way to quell anxiety and start moving forward.

2. Ask what ‘time well spent’ means to you

Time anxiety comes from feeling like you’re not spending your time in the best way possible. But do you really know what the ‘best possible way’ is?

• Start by asking yourself what does a good day look like?
• At work, what sort of tasks get you into a state of flow?
• Outside of work, what hobbies or activities do you enjoy in the moment? Not just because they help you ‘turn off’ your mind?

If it helps to spur ideas, list activities under the categories from Darius Foroux’s ‘Six Spoke’ theory:

• Body: What do you like to do to feel healthy and active?
• Mind: What pushes your mind in a good way?
• Love: Who do you love spending time with?
• Work: What work or tasks make you feel good?
• Money: How do you want to use the money you do have?
• Play: What hobbies or rest activities do you really enjoy?

3. Understand the planning fallacy (and why you have less time than you think)

Listing out lots of activities can lead to more time anxiety if you’re not careful. Instead, the goal here is to be realistic about what you can do with the time you have.

Unfortunately, most of us are pretty bad at planning. We believe that eight hours of work means we have eight hours of time to schedule. However, study after study shows most people have at best 2.5 hours of truly productive time a day.

We’ve written a full guide on the planning fallacy here. However, what it comes down to is that at work, most people spend:

• 15% of their time in meetings
• 25-30% of their computer time on email, chat, and video calls
• 40% of their time multitasking and working a sub-optimal way

And that doesn’t include time spent on breaks (which are a necessity) or on nonwork activities.

The same can probably be said for your time outside of work. You might have five hours between when you get home and when you go to bed, but are you considering things like dishes, shopping, cleaning up, etc.?

This isn’t meant to stress you out further but rather to help you understand that you do have limitations you have to work within. Time can’t be stretched to fill your to-do list.

4. Make space for the things that matter (and just do them)

Time anxiety can feel paralyzing. But the worst thing you can do is sit back and wait for motivation to spend your time in a better way.

Instead, psychologists have found that motivation does not precede action, action precedes motivation.

In other words, to feel motivated and happy, you need to act.

Look at your time well-spent activities and decide how they will fit into your day. This doesn’t necessarily mean scheduling a specific time for them (although many people do this with great success).

Instead, think about how your most meaningful tasks will fit into a real day.

Will you do them in the morning before work? On your commute? After dinner when the kids are in bed? Make space for them and time will sort itself out.

When you come to terms with your limited supply of time, it’s easier to turn off the TV, log off Twitter, and do things that make you feel good.

Thinking through your day like this can also help you cut out the time-wasters and distractions that add to your time anxiety. When you come to terms with your limited supply of time and what truly matters, it’s easier to turn off the TV, log off Twitter, and do things that make you feel good.

5. Practice being a ‘Satisficer’ instead of a ‘Maximiser’

An often overlooked aspect of time anxiety is how we think about the future. Many of us stress out over making the best choice possible. But there is no ‘perfect’ decision.

Psychologists have identified two types of decision-makers:

• Maximizers strive to make a choice that will give them the maximum benefit later on.
• Satisficers make choices according to their set of current criteria and nothing more.
• Trying to maximize your time today, tomorrow, and every day after will only lead to more time anxiety. Instead, look at your time well-spent activities and realistic schedule and decide what fits best now.

(If it helps, studies have found that maximizers actually often make worse choices and suffer stress and anxiety in the process.)

TIME KEEPS ON SLIPPING. WE’RE JUST ALONG FOR THE RIDE.

We all want to spend our time in the best way possible. But stressing out over the seconds and minutes we have does us more harm than good.

As writer Maria Edgeworth wrote back in the 1800s:

“If we take care of the moments, the years will take care of themselves.”

Be realistic about your time, know what makes you feel accomplished and the rest will take care of itself.

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This article originally appeared in RescueTime’s blog and is reprinted with permission.