Month: July 2021
What’s a nursing home combined with a childcare center? A hopeful model for the future of aging
IDEAS.TED.COM
Mar 14, 2019 / Marc Freedman

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Imagine a place for the elderly that’s also filled with the sounds of kids playing. Marc Freedman goes to Singapore to investigate a new model for intergenerational living.
Sister Geraldine Tan, an energetic woman in her 60s, speaks rapidly and is given to sweeping gestures. She wears the flowing white robes of the Canossian Daughters of Charity, and they threaten to engulf her small frame. But Sister Geraldine — trained in the hospice movement in the UK and now the executive director of the St. Joseph’s Home for the Aged and Hospice in Singapore — is not easily overwhelmed.
St. Joseph’s is not your typical nursing home. It’s striking, with tropical flora, open pavilions and airy rooms, and large, accommodating some 400 older people. Natural light and trade winds flow through its floors.
But the people it serves aren’t all elderly. The facility includes a childcare center for about 50 children, ages two months to six years. At the center of St. Joseph’s courtyard is an intergenerational playground, home to spontaneous interactions between the older people at the nursing home and the little ones at the childcare center.
Singapore’s leaders see the generations growing apart. They’re eager to bring them back together, to find new ways to do old things.
The neighborhood isn’t typical, either. St. Joseph’s is in Jurong West, an industrial area gone high tech. Google Singapore is next door; on the other side is the Boys’ Home, which houses young people who have been in trouble with the authorities. Across the street is a primary school. The massive Supply Chain City building — a facility “that serves as Asia’s supply-chain nerve center” — is less than 100 yards away. St. Joseph’s sits in the middle, a bastion of humanity.
While many residents share a strong cultural respect for their elders, Singapore’s leaders see the generations growing apart. They’re eager to bring them back together, to find new ways to do old things. This fits Sister Geraldine’s vision. She is determined to create an environment that encompasses the full “circle of life,” as she puts it, with children at its center. “They remind us of the purpose of life and of the importance of play and simplicity,” she says.
“There is birth and there is death,” says Sister Geraldine. “At both ends, we all need someone to tend to us.”
Today, one in eight people in Singapore is aged 65 and older. By 2030, it will be one in four.
Just as the childcare center aims to foster bonds that benefit young and old, students at the primary school visit regularly, and some of them are being mentored by the seniors. Boys’ Home residents operate a coffee cart in the courtyard, delivering drinks to the older people at St. Joseph’s — another way Sister Geraldine is instigating meaningful, cross-generational relationships.
Sister Geraldine and St. Joseph’s are all part of Singapore’s scheme to deal with their aging population. The wealthy city-state has put forth a national plan to invest $3 billion Singapore ($2.1 billion in USD) and become the envy of other aging societies. It’s a staggering investment given Singapore’s population size: just under four million permanent residents, about the size of Chicago.
Like many countries in Asia and the rest of the world, Singapore is aging fast. In 1970, one in 31 Singaporeans was 65 or older; today, it’s one in eight. By 2030, it will be one in four, or from about 440,000 people over 65 to more than 900,000 by 2030. “Aging is really the single most important demographic shift that will affect the future of Singapore,” says Amy Khor, the government’s senior minister of state for health.
Singapore officials are promoting “3Gen flats” to help older people, younger people, and those in the middle live in close proximity.
As in much of the world, the change is caused by increasing longevity and decreasing birth rates. In February 2016, Khor announced the Action Plan for Successful Ageing, an ambitious collection of some 70 initiatives covering a wide array of issues, including health care, volunteerism, employment, housing, transportation and protection for vulnerable elders. A leitmotif is engaging older people to support the next generation behind them.
To bring the generations together, Singapore is launching programs to help older people retool for second acts, to recruit young people to teach technology and social media skills to older folks, and to help community organizations better use senior volunteers. Officials are promoting “3Gen flats” to help older people, younger people, and those in the middle live in close proximity. One of the Plan’s most striking features is the creation of a “Kampong for All Ages.” Kampong is the Malay word for village, and it envisions a future Singapore built around a cherished element of the past: the multigenerational village.
The Plan also funds a $200 million Singapore ($140 million in USD) National Innovation Challenge, toward research on promising models and incentives to encourage more ideas for a multigenerational society.
The idea is to use community design to re-create natural opportunities for cross-generational support — to move from program to proximity, from concept to reality.
I sat down with two young architects at the CDB, the ministry that oversees land use in Singapore, where space is at an absolute premium. They showed me plans for the Admiralty Kampong, a development created to encourage connection between the generations. It will contain a ground-floor plaza with a grocery store and eateries, a daycare center, assisted-living services, a day center for elders with more extensive needs, and lots of opportunities for socializing.
The idea is to use community design to re-create natural opportunities for cross-generational support — to move from program to proximity, from concept to reality. The conscious effort is all the more striking in an Asian society where interaction and care between young and old, especially in families, occurred naturally for much of its history. But in our fast-paced, highly mobile, globally-oriented 21st-century world, there’s a need to find new ways to cultivate these time-honored values.
I admit being taken with Singapore’s plan, but my burning question on arrival and throughout my visit was: Is it real or a mirage? Some experiences were underwhelming. At one point, I visited the nation’s oldest center that brings together children, adolescents and older adults. The program’s diversity was impressive, mixing many different ethnic backgrounds, as well as ages. Yet the contact between generations was mostly superficial — there was a patina of closeness without much in the way of genuine interaction.
Scarcity of space could have led to conflict; instead, it’s prompting creative thinking about how to wring the most social value from limited square footage.
Still, those experiences were the exception for me. In Singapore, for the most part, I witnessed a sense of common purpose among people to realize the plan’s goals, a shared vision that was more significant in some ways than the sums being spent (although I can’t get over my envy of the money).
Two lessons stood out for me from my trip. First, not having much land can be a powerful impetus for change. Scarcity of space could have led to conflict; instead, it’s prompting creative thinking about how to combine institutional purposes to wring the most social value from limited square footage. Second, I found the instinct to combine old and new — a new-way-to-do-old-things approach — everywhere.
On my final day, I visited a church initiative that was a faith-based bookend to the St. Joseph’s experience that started my trip. St. John’s–St. Margaret’s is a well-established Anglican congregation near the National University of Singapore. The church is in the midst of creating a large senior living facility and early childhood center, having broken ground on it in mid-2017.
When complete, the project may be even more impressive than St. Joseph’s. This redesign was prompted by the expiration of the church’s lease on government-owned land. In order to stay on its prized plot, St. John’s–St. Margaret’s was required to “intensify” its use of the land — to do more social good. The congregation decided not only to build a nursing home and senior programs but also to find ways to simultaneously support young children. I love the notion of intensifying the land; it’s another way of saying every dollar should be spent (at least) twice.
When complete, St. John’s-St. Margaret’s will contain a nursing home, a senior center, and an early childhood center. Its name? Project Spring-Winter.
For insights, the St. John’s–St. Margaret’s team headed to the US and visited facilities that bring the generations together for mutual benefit, including the Providence Mount St. Vincent Intergenerational Learning Center in Seattle (the subject of the 2017 documentary The Growing Season). Another source of inspiration was a passage from Zechariah 8:4–5 that describes the renewed city of Jerusalem as a cross-generational paradise: “Old men and old women shall again sit in the streets of Jerusalem, each with staff in hand because of great age. And … the city shall be full of boys and girls playing in its streets.”
When open in 2021, St. John’s–St. Margaret’s will consist of a 273-person nursing-home facility, a senior center for 100 older people, and an early childhood center for 200 children. The name for the initiative? Project Spring-Winter.
When I visited the congregation members leading this effort, they told me of an unanticipated side benefit. While working on the plans, they realized the church itself had become age-segregated — for example, there were children’s services and adult services, often held at the same time in separate rooms. Prompted by the research that’s gone into Project Spring-Winter, they’re thinking how best to age-integrate the congregation.
Congregant Sherlyn Lee, one of the Project Spring-Winter leaders, told me that she hopes this new effort will restore a sense of the “circle of life” — both at the church and in Singapore. I was struck by the symmetry: Sister Geraldine and Sherlyn opened and closed my trip with the same beautiful phrase.
Excerpted from the new book How to Live Forever: The Enduring Power of Connecting the Generations by Marc Freedman. Published by PublicAffairs, an imprint of Hachette Book Group. Copyright © 2018 Marc Freedman.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Marc Freedman is CEO and president of Encore.org, a nonprofit that aims to harness the abilities and experiences of people aged 50 and over. Originator of the encore career idea linking second acts to the greater good, Freedman cofounded Experience Corps to mobilize people over fifty to improve the school performance and prospects of low-income elementary school students in more than 20 US cities. He also spearheaded the creation of the Encore Fellowships program, which helps individuals translate their midlife skills into second acts focused on social impact, and the Purpose Prize, an annual prize for social entrepreneurs in the second half of life. (AARP now runs Experience Corps and the Purpose Prize.)
Celebrate International Friendship Day
I think this is the greatest idea because where would be in life without friends? I was pretty much a loner growing up but did always have one or two close friends I could talk with and share my problems and dreams with.
We have more contact via the Internet and social media today which is very different than the old days but can still give us a place to lay our fears and dreams.

Here’s where it all started.
Friendship Day is a day in several countries for celebrating friendship. It was initially promoted by the greeting cards’ industry, evidence from social networking sites shows a revival of interest in the holiday that may have grown with the spread of the Internet, particularly in India, Bangladesh, and Malaysia. Mobile phones, digital communication and social media have contributed to popularize the custom.
Enjoy the day and let your friends know how much you appreciate them today.
Melinda
#Weekend Music Share *The One and Only Roy Orbison in Pretty Woman

It’s the weekend!!!!!!
I’m so glad you’ve joined me this week for another edition of Weekend Music Share.
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share; the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the ‘Weekend Music Share‘ banner in your post, and don’t forget to use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
Melinda
Friday Quote


Have a great weekend!
So glad you stopped by today and look forward to hearing your comments.
Melinda
Five Ways To Make New Friends
There is nothing scarier as an adult than making friends. It’s not that you’re unable to do it, it’s that it’s far easier to be five years old, pick a buddy and go and play. As an adult, making friends feels like dating. You want to find people with the same ideals as you, and that’s not always easy! You want to set boundaries and make sure that you are around people you consider to be similar to you.
Speaking to new people isn’t easy for most people – especially the introverts out there who often need a little more support when it comes to talking to new people. The good news is that whether you join a class or start to write an inmate or two, there are ways to make friends out there that make sense for you. You don’t have to talk to people you don’t want to talk to, but there are ways that you can find your circle. Below, here are some tips to make new friends.
Stat Small. You can start socializing easily with people by starting small with people that you know. Hanging out with your existing friends and their friends can help you to expand your circle. You can also reach out to acquaintances past and get to know them a little more. If there are people out there in parenting groups or workgroups that you can resonate with, you’ll be able to ensure that you get to know new people.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
4 Tasks That Can Put Your Head Into A More Positive, Productive Space
In life, we have lots thrown at us. Some of it can be handled, and some of it can take a real toll on us. When things get us down, it can be difficult to pick ourselves up again. Sure, if we have the motivation of looking after a healthy family, then getting out of bed in the morning can come quite naturally. When we lack motivation and willpower, life can really stop us from being productive and positive.
Fortunately enough, there are plenty of things we can all do in order to put ourselves in a more positive and productive headspace. There is an endless list of tasks that can get us out of a funk and put us on the road to recovery. It may take a little while, but consistency will ensure that things get better over time. Here are a few ideas:
Write Down Your Goals In Life
When we have goals in life, we become more proactive. When we have a reason to get up in the morning, we suddenly find the energy. If you feel as though you have literally no light at the end of your tunnel, then you’re going to struggle to find the purpose in your life. If you create goals and write them down, you bring them to reality – they’re no longer ideas in your head.
Make It Your Mission To Always Improve Your Life
This is easy to talk about and difficult to actually pull off without the right attitude. Your life should be a continuing journey of moving up ladders. Try to be a better human being and a more accomplished person than you were the year before. Look at quick move-in homes, find jobs that make you happy, look to bring in more money than you did the year before – all of these are great examples of moving up in the world. Just give it a go and you’ll naturally be happier as you’ll subconsciously become more advanced.
Talk To Someone About Your Next Moves
Staying silent and keeping things bottled up never helps. If you let someone know about your problems, the chances are that they’ll be able to help. If they can’t, then the practice of opening up will, at least, make you feel better. Talking about your next moves in life will also be a good step and you can learn something new and find out about the kinds of opportunities available.
Don’t Sit Around For Too Long
When you sit around for too long, your brain can begin to play tricks on you. While the brain is amazing and creative, it can be counterproductive as you can begin to think about pretty negative instances. The best thing to do in life is to keep productive whenever you can. When you need to rest, do it. When you have things to do, get up and do them.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
July Chronic Illness Group Writing Prompt UPDATED

It’s the time of the month again! Time for Chronic Illness Group Writing Prompts hosted by A Chronic Voice. Be sure and check out Sherly’s site, it’s full of wisdom, medical knowledge and she’s a great host. I’ve been negligent the past couple of months but hope to get back on track starting this month. These are great to participate in and I learn so much from other Chronic Illness bloggers.
This month prompts are:
Transforming
Aging
Suffering
Visualizing
Navigating
I’ve chosen all five this month, each prompt hit exactly where I was at in life. They are not in order.

Speaking of Immunologists, insurance is refusing to pay for my Plasma Infusion treatments and I’m not paying for them myself. Insurance didn’t cover my Lyme Infusion treatments and we had to take out a second loan on the house, I will not do that again. I don’t feel that sick, and that is the problem. It’s not that I’m sick, it’s that my body doesn’t have the ability to fight anything off so once I resume so type of life outside of the house I’m at risk for everything. Until I am “sicker” than I am, insurance won’t pay. As I mentioned in one post, you need 23 players on your team, I have 11. Apparently, that’s still too many players on the field for insurance to cover my Immune Deficiency Disorder.
I had knee surgery on June 8th and am well into recovery. I do my own Physical Therapy because I’m not driving just to have someone show me what to do. I live in a two-story house and know one of the best ways for Physical Therapy is to walk the stairs. I’m so much further along with this knee than my right knee in 2018. Today my doctor told me I was a month ahead of his other patients. Guess the stairs work fine.
My knee surgery caused a problem with my hip and now I met with another new doctor, which means more paperwork to fill out. He says it’s common for issues to arise after knee surgery so he’s scheduled me for a CT scan of the hips and back. He says it’s possible I have a pinched nerve. That would certainly explain the pain when walking and the limp.

I turned another year older this month, it’s just a number, my body and brain are a different age. I look at my life sometimes a compare it to my granny’s in her 70’s and I’m only in my 50’s. My granny was blind in one eye which prevented her from driving and doing much on her own. I very much relate to her in ways I never dreamed of when she was alive.
I haven’t had a haircut in four years unless you count the cut last summer when I made a ponytail and told my husband to cut it off. I just pull my hair back in a ponytail and it makes me feel like an old maid but I haven’t taken any action until now. It’s one of my priorities because I do care how I look to myself and my husband.
My life is very small, no friends, or errands, not much really, even when health doesn’t put up these walls.
Haven’t driven outside of my comfort area in four years, the first two were spent dealing with acrophobia-like issues but the past two years are mostly desire, need, and pandemic.
I’m visualizing a bigger life for myself this year. The psychological issues that were keeping me from driving have passed, I’m vaccinated and will continue my COVID process while out. I want my life to reflect my goals and dreams.
My car is two years old and has less than 200 miles on it, I want to be able to get in my car and not find a dead battery. I will start driving myself more to appointments and for pleasure the remainder of this year. Who knows maybe even a trip to the mall.
I’m counting the days to a new haircut, about four inches off all over and it will feel so light and new. I’m tired of the ponytail look.
I haven’t eaten out by myself in ages, not even a quick lunch. The pandemic had a huge impact on recent times but even before then I had quit getting out. I want to go to my fav little lunch spot and order my Plum Smoothie, even if’s it’s for taking out, that’s a huge step.
Learning how to use my new camera that is already a year old, I want to go to nature park once it cools off and enjoy our mild winters to get some great outdoor shots.
I live in Texas where it gets very hot in the Summer, which is great for some of my ailments but trying to get outside and take care of my flowers and garden has been difficult not only due to heat but my knee surgery. Luckily my husband is doing most of the watering right now. My flowers brighten my day and are great for my mental health.
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed the prompts and of course the writing. I look forward to reading your feedback.
Melinda
How Every Child Can Thrive By Five
My First Post In 2005 – Dementia Induced Thought’s Of Suicide
I looked back at my very first post written as a blogger, the site was different, it was called Defining Memories then but I have published on Look for the Light before. I started Defining Memories to help me mourn my granny. It was a very dark time for me and writing was the perfect outlet.
I hope the writing is as cathartic for you as it has been for me, the subject matter has changed over time but the feeling and release it gives me is the same.
Thank you so much for reading and following me on my journey.
Being a caregiver to a dying loved one can leave you drained of emotion, exhausted, and frustrated. All perfectly normal feelings. I felt a quilt mixed in my bowl of emotions. I grew up knowing my grandparents wanted to die at home. I would grant the wish if possible. They inspired me, saved me from parental abuse, and blessed me with unconditional love.
Helping my gramps when making difficult life decisions, while working hard to remember she is my Granny. There were uncomfortable conversations, articulate to doctors how she is progressing and butt heads with family members. I ran a tight ship and had no problem telling people it was time to leave, and not allowing people over every day. God blessed me with the ability to turn my depression down and step up to the next level. Love for my Granny drove my decision to give her an extra morphine stick. She died in my hands while I kissed her goodbye.
As our population ages, the number of caregivers increases. It can seem overwhelming at times. If you don’t have a blog I would suggest checking out, it gave me an outlet. Caregivers choose to open their hearts to emotional and physical challenges.
Dementia-Induced Thoughts Of Suicide
Today I used one of four “in case of emergency” pills to keep my Granny from hurting herself during a dementia-related meltdown brought on by my Gramps going to the grocery store. She’s had many of these episodes since her stroke almost two years ago. Today I saw the beginning of the end in her face. As I look at the three pills in the bottle, I try to accept that we will need to “ease” the trauma more times before her memory is gone.
Her stroke caused dementia, and at 84 she continues to slide downhill. The meds do a good job of controlling the anger and aggression but on days like today, nothing short of a miracle works. I had to reach for “the emergency” stash and this sank in as I watched her doze off from the effects.
Today she did not recognize her own home and thought my Gramps abandoned her in somebody else’s house while going to the grocery store. She became enraged and very self-destructive by hitting herself in the head while saying that she would rather be dead than be left “here” by herself. I tried to calm her as I always do but today nothing worked. I tried to get her to focus on what I was saying but it was too late, she was lost in her painful reality. It was a very hard choice but a drug-induced calm over self-inflicted harm is the right thing to do.
While waiting for the drug to work I showed her photos of her and my grandfather from 24 years ago, a photo of my father on a pony when he was a child, and many others I took off the walls to see if she could connect to anything. She recognized my dad but several other family members were a blur. It was so painful to watch her lose touch, it ripped my heart out.
Those four pills were the “holy grail” and they took me back to the night of her stroke when Gramps went home to try to nap and she got upset that he was not there. It took six of us to hold down an 82-year-old who barely weighed 100 lbs. Her aggression reached a point where she needed restraining. Her arms were tied to the bed yet she managed to fight. I used all of my weight to hold her down to the bed, yelling at the nurse where the hell was a shot to knock her out. The nurse did not articulate to the doctor the urgency of the situation so he did not approve a sedative. I told her if she could not articulate the need, pass the phone to me. I would get the message across. The doctor ordered a sedative.
Watching her lose touch with reality is like seeing your child get hit by a car in slow motion and not being able to get a word out. I’m thankful for the time we spent together no matter how painful. I focus on the good moments and do not hold on to difficult days like this.
M



