Let Me Tell You Where I’ve Been, You’ll Never Guess

I have not been on an exotic island, no ocean, no mountains not even to the spa. Although all sound good.

Last week my depression drug me into a hole I could not get out and I signed into my favorite Psych Hospital on Friday for Electro Convulsive Therapy (ECT). Many still have the images of One Flew Over The CoKoos Nest. That movie was dramatized although ECT was more difficult until doctors learned that by using a muscle relaxer along with the drugs the anesthesiologist uses it’s really a piece of cake. I usually have a headache and Friday I felt jaw pain but it didn’t last long.

It takes longer to prepare you than the treatment itself. ECT  makes you have a convulsion to get your brain to change channels. The number of treatments you need will vary, I’m hoping 5 is my magic number because I don’t want to have to roll into the following week. My husband has taken off so much time coming to see me every day but next week he will get really backed up at work. As he says, we do what we have to.

Trama

After meeting with the doctor for 10-15 minutes the doctor had the nerve to tell me:

I wasn’t Bipolar

Was overmedicated

My doctor had not taken care of me over the last 32 years

He said I did not have Dementia and should not take any of the meds I’m taking. In 2017 I saw a Neurologist about my Dementia, I scored a 17, very bad, on Thursday when I did the test I’m up to 21. Not great but it tells me the meds are slowing the progression.

*He had no right to say that to me, I’m in a Psych Hospital, the last thing you tell a person in distress is that type of information. He is an ass and I didn’t believe one word. My Psych doctor was surprised, he thought this doctor was a good one. I’ve already sent emails to the Chair of Psychiatry, Psych doctor, my therapist, and cc my husband. KARMA IS A BITCH!

Don’t let any doctor shake your confidence in the team you have. I would tell your doctor what was said but do not take anyone’s ideas except for your own doctor. I got mad as hell and wanted too much of him but knew better.

Cherry on Top

I almost laughed my ass off when he said that when I don’t get my way I act out. That has never been my personality and people that know me would say the opposite.

ECT

I had a treatment on Friday and will go back outpatient next week, going M, W & F. The worst thing about ECT to me is they have lower some of my medication right away and hold the others the night and morning of treatment. By the time they came to get me for ECT, it was going on at 11:00, and I was in full-blown withdrawal. Crying, wailing, asking for God’s help, my entire body was shaking, I could barely walk, and was starting to hyperventilate. Missing two Xanax sends me over the edge. I will be in withdrawal there days next week. It’s going to be a very rough week but we have to do what we have to do.

If you have a serious Mental Illness including Bipolar Disorder PLEASE don’t pass on ECT because it works miracles and it’s nothing like the movie which was overly dramatic, which sells movie tickets. Not the whole truth.

I’m still sore in a few places like my jaw but it’s much better than yesterday.

I have written a post on ECT before and will write another post on the history of treatments available for Mental Illness, you’ll be how barbaric it was before ECT.

I’m glad to be home, resting, and about to tackle some laundry.

I won’t be posting much since I only have two days without ECT. Then I hope to get back on my regular schedule. I’ve thought of many topics while in the hospital.

If you have any questions about ECT, leave me a comment and I’ll answer the best I can.

Melinda