As a kid, I thought 40 was old, but when I reached 40, I didn’t know I was old and maybe 70 years old was the number. I know many have this crisis with their age and what they can do, along with what their future looks like.
My Gramps didn’t think about age, he just lived his life, all 92 years of it. He was playing dominos two weeks before he died.
I haven’t really looked inside to see if 60 is the number, but my husband said something the other day that got me thinking that my view of my life and capabilities at 60 are not in sync. It started with my enjoying some music videos, then a pop-up for a John Mayer concert caught my eye.
If you know me, Eric Clapton and John Mayer are my favorite guitar players, genius really. He knows I love John Mayer, so when I said: “Why don’t we go see John Mayer”. His comment sent me into a tailspin. He asked if I was up to that? What?????
I know I’m not a highly-paid executive anymore but I still think I can get it done.
I looked hard at myself, do I look old, dress too old, do my illnesses get in my way, or do my phobias keep me from wanting to go anywhere. I don’t believe it’s how I look or dress but my illnesses and phobias make me feel trapped.
Do you look ahead and think about how much joy you have in your life? Do you see a picture in your mind of what your life looks like and its blue sky and sunshine? For me, it’s not a bright picture of a whole life full of joy. I see black actually. That’s concerning to me
I looked in the mirror and my 40-pound weight loss is showing on my body, with skin sagging, and plenty of cellulite to go around. I looked at my backside and mine looked at my granny’s when she was old, it sags down.
When do we know we’re old, when do we accept that we’re old?
Right now my body and mind feel very tired, yes it’s harder to open a package or take a little longer to complete a task, but I didn’t see those as signs I was there.
I’m too tired today to think more about it but would like to know your thoughts. What age do you think is old, what are the indicators you will pay attention to?
Melinda
lookingforthelight.blog 
As a kid I remember thinking mud to late 40’s as old. But as an adult I thought 70’s or 80’s as old with also the saying you are old as you feel.
My uncle lived well to his early 90’s and to me he wasn’t old. He felt young and lively to me. So I felt he was an inspiration. He also looked good for his age. To me he looked much younger than his age.
I am 47 and I remember a few mornings in one particular week a couple of years ago the first time feeling old.
Growing older is complex because your mind can think one think and you do another. Thanks for sharing the great stories. 🙂
Dear Melinda. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on ageing this morning. I can genuinely empathise with you. I worry about my age and feel I look older than I am. It’s the crepey skin on the arms, the flab where my jowls are despite not being overweight and breasts that sit on my belly with no bra on!! What a ghastly picture! I’m actually going to be 66 in two weeks. I feel young in my mind (on good days) but not physically. I don’t think that’s got anything to do with being a disabled wheelchair user. I’ve gotten used to that and embraced what I can do rather than can’t do. If anything, it gives me confidence; it acts like a shield between me and the rest of the world. I think being mentally fragile, like we often are, makes us feel older. I can’t see my future with sunshine (at the moment), as much as I’d like to say that was true. On days like today, where I don’t feel very good, like you, I can see a black hole and a hell of a lot of uncertainty. I know you’ve been having a tough time lately, and I want to wish you all good things in your present and your future. Sending healing hugs, too. Xx 🤗💕
Our body descriptions are similar. I looked at the future and saw limitless possibilities until I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Kidney Diseases and have 2-5 years to live. I know so any people can live a long time, my problem is I am ready for it to end and don’t want to live struggling with mental illness. It’s not plan just till somehow looking back.
Although there are similaraties in the way we think, I can’t imagine how tough it must be to have been told you only have 2-5 years to live. With that in your mind, it’s hardly surprising that you feel as you do. I am so sorry that you are in this situation. How does the kidney disease affect you on a daily basis, if you don’t mind me asking? No pressure to reply to this if you’d rather not. Thinking of you with love, kindness and caring, dear Melinda. Xx 💓🌼🌈✨💓
At stage 3 you start to feel kidney, and lower back pain. The symptoms of CKD don’t usually get to bad, the only thing my gramps needed was oxygen. You can tell when you body is off by the color of your pee. Other than that it’s wait until the day. Dying may be the easiest thing I do. 🙂
Age is but a number to me.
I want what my grandparents had… they lived every moment of every day, not paying attention to passing birthdays or growing older. They did their thing, traveled, maintained 2 separate properties, and all well into their late 80’s.
They told me that when you stop defining your life by a number, you really start to live.
I get not everyone can do this. Even I, at my young 36 I have a bad back, and possible arthritic issues… but I don’t let it hold me back.
I want to have a long and fulfilled life, no matter the age
I do too, I’m having some type of crisis right now. I talk with my therapist next week and will get a better handle what triggered me.
Morning Melinda! Thank you for sharing your thoughts… I am getting close to 60 and while my body feels old at times due to my mobility issues, I don’t feel old inside. When I look at my future, I see sunshine! I don’t mind getting older, as I know I still have more living to do! Living is an experience, no matter the age, and at each stage of life there are unique things to experience! I’ll never be old, as I am young of mind!
My Gramps never felt old but he had a calm, let if flow attitude and I think being in the war also made him a different man. I’m still having a crisis, the triggering last has not let up. I’m just fragile and figure things out. Thanks for commenting. I look forward to the day I see sunshine again. 🙂
I know you will Melinda… The sunshine does come back for everyone in their own time. I hope you feel better today!
💖💖💖
Melinda I had a 50 pound weight loss in the last year or more and for the first time I have some sagging skin. I had gained and lost before without that problem but then I googled on it and read that weight gain and loss after menopause can do this to you. I no longer turn heads. That stopped happening just this year. In fact, I am at times being disrespected when out in the world and to me those two things make me feel old. This morning I tried doing my hair a little differently putting some height at the top of my head and that seemed to help me look a little younger.
Time certainly takes your skin into places it wasn’t before. Take care.
Maybe old is when you can no longer do normal things for yourself. I think when that day finally comes I’ll feel old.
I would agree with that 100%! 🙂