I’ve written a post this month about being traumatized while staying in a Psych Hospital and want to talk about the second trauma after leaving.
I highly regard UTSW as one of the top hospitals in America and will only go there if it’s something serious, that’s how much I respect the doctors there. They have state-of-the-art technology which shows you the notes a doctor has written about you.
The other day I remembered the notes were available and went to the portal to read all of the notes from the doctor in charge the week I stayed in-house. I experienced a new level of trauma while reading his notes.
There was not one positive thing said about me, I printed out the 19 pages of notes and some misc. information. I read every page slowly and words can not express the shock. There were complete lies in there like saying I was apprehended by the police. I’ve never been apprehended by the police and the list goes on. There are entire conversations that didn’t happen. I was beyond shocked.
I reported him to the Texas Medical Board but they don’t have any ethics because they said his behavior was in line with their standards.
I thought about suing him but my Therapist warned me that the hospital could take away my privileges at the hospital. I can’t take that risk because they are the only place I will have ECT Treatments.
I talked with my Therapist today about how to move forward.
We talked about the anger I felt towards the doctor who traumatized me, how I don’t like not having control, wanting my medical records corrected, reining in my anger, and not over-focusing.
I also made the mistake of sending an email to my Psychiatrist with comments he made about our session. She said you don’t want to come off as a problem patient by nitpicking his notes. I’ve learned my lesson. I will apologize to him and won’t send any messages to him. I will instead make that a talking point for the next appointment.
She emphasized that I’m not on level ground right now and need to put my anger into perspective and not let this become my life. Keep my head up and that I know who I am and I’m not going to let what someone else says define my life. I was not a victim.
Now, I have to move forward by getting over what I can’t change and accept no apology is coming my way. This is not as easy as it sounds, it going to take a while to choke all that down.
*Just a note, If any of your doctors have a portal and notes from your visit are available, read them. Don’t contact them to debate the notes, just be aware of what is on your permanent medical records. If something in the notes makes you angry or is incorrect report them to the Medical Board and file a complaint with the hospital.
Now it’s time for me to eat crow!
Melinda
lookingforthelight.blog 