Good Times On The Highway To Hell Part 5

More Antics On My Journey In Life

On the way home from work, I vomited in my new Land Rover. I could not pull over fast enough; vomit was everywhere, and I didn’t have any napkins. Once I arrived home, the clean-up began. It was getting late, and I stopped to find I had locked myself out of the house. I was living in a new neighborhood and only had three neighbors. I found a light on, and asked if I could borrow a phone book, and she said yes. Bet I smelled bad, and this was the first time I met her. Even after a professional cleaning, it smelled, and I traded it for something else.

My friends and I went to dinner to celebrate my 33rd birthday. Out of the blue, I got a tattoo and a belly button ring. Several of us drove to a bad part of town because they wanted to watch me get the tattoo. Thank goodness I was drunk. The sign said not to be drunk, but at that age, I was on top of the world.

FYI, the belly button piercing hurt so bad, like your guts were being pulled out. After six months of babying the spot, I took it out.

My gramps had Prostate and Bladder Cancer; the two pushing against each other caused him to have to pee about every 10-15 minutes. My cousin was in a small plane crash and was in really bad shape; Gramps had to go see him. The problem was that the hospital was 1.5 hours away. Knowing that we would be stopping along the way, I took an empty Gatorade bottle for emergencies. I’m flying down the highway close to 100 miles an hour, and Gramps says I have to pee now! I had to push the accelerator all the way down to find an exit. I was Speed Racer! I found a spot, and he peed in the bottle. It wasn’t funny at the time, but it sure is now. 

Melinda

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