Thanks for joining me on Wordless Wednesday, I appreciate you.


Melinda
Thanks for joining me on Wordless Wednesday, I appreciate you.


Melinda
Before we move into the new year, I want to thank you for your kindness. I stopped judging my blog’s success by the numbers, engagement is what’s most important to me. You’ve contributed greatly to the success of Looking for the Light and I thought a glace at the numbers would reflect your contribution.
In 2025 to date there have been 35,034 views
686 Post
16.2K Visitors
21.9K Likes
4K Comments
137 countries stopped by to date
39 Referreral Sites

You have brought me enlightenment, support, motivation and inspiration with each of your posts.
Numbers are a form of measurement however that is not how I judge the health of my blog. Engagement in the form of likes and comments are how I judge if my blog is successful.
Each conversation makes me smile, when a new country visits it intrigues me, having long tern followers are special and all of these help me grow.
Here’s to 2026!
Melinda
Let’s shine a black light on it, so you can know where the smell is coming from. You already know that basically everything in the media is there to sell you thinness — the shellacked abs in ads for exercise equipment, the “one weird trick to lose belly fat” clickbait when all you wanted was a weather forecast, and the “flawless” thin women who fill most TV shows. The Bikini Industrial Complex, or BIC, has successfully created a culture of immense pressure to conform to an ideal that is literally unobtainable by almost everyone and yet is framed not just as the most beautiful, but the healthiest and most virtuous.
But it’s not just magazine covers, ads and other fictions that get it wrong. The body mass index (BMI) chart and its labels — underweight, overweight, obese, etc. — were created by a panel of nine individuals, seven of whom were “employed by weight-loss clinics and thus have an economic interest in encouraging use of their facilities,” as researchers Paul Ernsberger and Richard J Koletsky put it.
You’ve been lied to about the relationship between weight and health so that you’ll perpetually try to change your weight.
But listen: It can be healthier to be 70 or more pounds over your medically defined “healthy weight” than just five pounds under it. A 2016 meta-analysis in The Lancet medical journal examined 189 studies, encompassing nearly four million people who never smoked and had no diagnosed medical issues. It found that people labeled “obese” by the CDC have lower health risk than those the CDC categorized as “underweight.” The study also found that being “overweight” according to the CDC is lower risk than being at the low end of the “healthy” range as defined by the US federal government and the World Health Organization.
Another meta-analysis even found that people in the BMI category labeled “overweight” may live longer than people in any other category, and the highest predictable mortality rate might be among those labeled “underweight.” Taking it further, newer research is suggesting that doctors warn their middle-aged and older patients against losing weight, because the increasingly well-established dangers of fluctuations in weight outweigh any risk associated with a high but stable weight.
Our culture has primed us to judge fat people as lazy and selfish. And it goes deep. Amelia conducts a children’s choir, and she has to teach her kids to breathe. At ten, eight, even six years old, they already believe that their bellies are supposed to be flat and hard, so they hold their stomachs in. You can’t breathe deeply, all the way, without relaxing your abdomen, and you can’t sing if you can’t breathe. So Amelia has to teach children to breathe.
Please: Relax your belly. It’s supposed to be round. The BIC has been gaslighting you.
We’re not saying the people or companies that constitute the BIC are out to get you. Frankly, we don’t think they’re smart enough to have created this system on purpose. But they recognize there’s money to be made by establishing and enforcing impossible standards.
We all encounter the BIC every day. So how can we make it through the fray?
One strategy: Play the “new hotness” game.
When we reconstruct our own standard of beauty with a definition that comes from our own hearts and includes our bodies as they are right now, we can turn toward our bodies with kindness and compassion. Well, easier said than done.
Amelia is vain about pictures of her conducting, in which she inevitably has her mouth wide open and her hair is a sweaty wreck. Emily watches herself on TV and worries that her chin is too pointy because one time, somebody said it was. (We are identical twins.)
Neither of us has ever had the skinny proportions of a model, and we watched our mom — who was model-thin before she gestated two seven-pound babies at the same time — look at her reflection in mirrors and cry at what she saw there. What she saw there is very much like what we see in our own reflections now.
Which is why we play the “New Hotness” game, a way to let go of body self-criticism and shift to self-kindness. One day, Amelia was at a fancy boutique, trying on gowns for a performance. Attire for women conductors is hard to find: solid black with long sleeves, formal yet not frumpy is an unlikely combination. Finding all of this in her size is even more difficult.
She tried on a dress that looked so amazingly good she texted Emily a dress selfie, with a caption paraphrasing Will Smith in Men in Black II: i am the new hotness.
And now “new hotness” is our texting shorthand for looking fabulous without reference to the socially constructed ideal. We recommend it. It’s fun.
Maybe you don’t look like you used to, or like you used to imagine you should, but how you look today is the new hotness. Even better than the old hotness.
Saggy belly skin from that baby you birthed? New hotness.
Gained 20 pounds while finishing school? New hotness.
Skin gets new wrinkles because you lived another year? New hotness.
Hair longer or shorter, or a different color or style? New hotness.
Mastectomy following breast cancer? New hotness.
Amputation following combat injury? New hotness.
The point is, you define and redefine your body’s worth, on your own terms. It’s not necessary to turn toward your body with love and affection — love and affection are frosting on the cake of body acceptance, and if they work for you, go for it. But all your body requires of you is that you turn toward it with kindness and compassion, again and again, without judging all your contradictory emotions, beliefs and longings.
No doubt after you finish reading this, you will go out into the world and notice the diversity of bodies around you. And you will still have reflexive thoughts about the people who don’t conform to the aspirational ideal, envious thoughts about the people who do, or self-critical thoughts about the ways the world tells you that you fall short. And then you might even have emotional reactions to your emotional reactions: “Darn it, I shouldn’t think that!”
Change happens gradually. Your brain has been soaking in the BIC for decades; any time you step outside your door, you’re back in it; any time you turn on a TV, you’re back in it; and any time you put clothes on, you’re back in it. Just notice it, as you’d notice a fleck of dust floating through the air. Smile kindly at the mess. And know what’s true: Everyone is the new hotness. You are the new hotness. So is she. So are they. So are we.
Excerpted from Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. Copyright © 2019 by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. Used by permission of Ballantine, an imprint of Random House Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Melinda
Melinda
The post talks about how positive thinking and affermations help with Bipolar Disorder, the truth is everyone can benefilt from the post. What we think and say is what our brain believes.
Words — whether spoken or thought — carry incredible weight. They are capable of healing or harming. The unkind phrases people tell themselves so often can easily turn into beliefs, shaping an unfair and cruel view of who they are.
If words hold so much sway, why, then, can’t they be used for good?
What if your words and what you tell yourself hold the key to a better life? Imagine if, instead of riding along with the usual negative stream of consciousness, you said aloud: “I am worthy.” “I have the strength to overcome any challenge.” “I have come this far — I am capable.”
Appropriately termed “affirmations” or “self-talk,” these are positive statements that can help you confront and overcome self-sabotaging and negative thoughts and beliefs. When you repeat them often and believe in them, you can start making positive changes and rewriting your story.
Most people spend much of their waking time talking to themselves, although they might not always be aware of it. And that internal chatter is much more influential than many realize. Mood is created by the balance of chemicals in the brain — neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, and so on.
Yet even your thoughts or self-talk can alter your brain’s chemical reactions, shaping emotions and behaviors. What you say to yourself has real-world consequences.
“What you tell yourself is how you are programming your internal navigation system,” says Jill Sylvester, LMHC, MEd, who has a private practice in Hanover, Massachusetts, and is the author of Trust Your Intuition: 100 Ways to Transform Anxiety and Depression for Stronger Mental Health.
In this way, a person’s inner speech functions much like an internal compass or brain-based GPS. The tone of this self-talk influences our feelings, judgments, self-esteem, and actions — guiding them to move forward, change course, or settle into the status quo.

Sylvester’s metaphor is fitting and raises an important question: If someone isn’t paying attention to their self-talk, who is at the wheel? And where, exactly, are they going?
Repeated often enough, this silent self-address ultimately establishes a person’s default or foundational beliefs about themselves, those around them, and the world in general. So, in a sense, engaging in mindless self-talk is a lot like living on autopilot.
Even so, anyone can take back the controls. That voice in your head, after all, is your own.
The notion of thinking good thoughts is at the center of much psychotherapy, in fact. Reframing your negative thoughts is a powerful way to heal from past trauma. Furthermore, thinking positively to make yourself feel better is not self-deception, says Gregory L. Jantz, PhD, founder of the Center: A Place of Hope, one of the leading facilities for the treatment of depression.
In his book Moving Beyond Depression, Dr. Jantz writes that positive self-talk is “not mentally looking at circumstances with eyes that see only what you want to see. Rather, positive self-talk is about recognizing the truth in situations and in yourself…. [It] allows you to discover the obscured optimism, hope, and joy in any given situation.”
Lorenzo L. of New York City knows this firsthand. In his youth, Lorenzo struggled with “massive mood swings” that much later would be recognized as symptoms of bipolar disorder. Showing wisdom beyond his years, Lorenzo lifted himself out of depressive states by slowing his breathing and using positive affirmations.
With regular meditation, Lorenzo has learned to quickly identify his state of mind. Once he is fully aware of his current mood, he directs his self-talk accordingly: “When I’m coming down from mania or hypomania,” he says, his mantra is, “‘Don’t doubt yourself today. It’s okay that you don’t feel as joyful or productive today.’”
“When I’m cycling up to mania or hypomania,” he continues, “I say, ‘Try not to get too carried away. Use all of this extra energy for productive and healthy activities.’”
And when he is feeling balanced, he uses positive, encouraging inner speech to continue his sense of stability: “I can sustain this mood for more than this moment or day.”
“Self-affirmations,” Sylvester explains, “are positive statements that put a person in the driver’s seat of their life and create a path from which to grow.”
And grown he has. Working full-time and studying to become a certified public accountant, the 37-year-old Lorenzo credits his healthy mindset to meditation and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). With the help of his psychologist, he has solidified his initial forays into mindfulness and self-affirmation into a practical, tried-and-true strategy that improves his mood and alleviates his symptoms.
When the terrain is rocky and you’re struggling to stick to your wellness plan, positive self-talk can help you persevere by encouraging you to become proactive instead of reactive. In fact, you can harness your inner monologue to promote what psychologists call “self-regulation” — your ability to exert conscious control over emotional and physical responses to external situations.
You can strengthen your self-regulation by consciously distancing your thoughts from your experiences. One way to do this is to switch your self-talk from first person (“I,” “me,” “my”) to third person — using your own name instead.
An older randomized controlled trial found that doing so during times of stress fosters a sense of perspective, with net benefits including decreased anxiety, improved performance, and faster, more complete emotional recovery.
So, if you’re feeling anxious about an upcoming event or want to gain a bit of emotional separation from an experience to change your response, consider replacing “I” with your name when speaking or thinking your affirmations.
In times of overwhelm, it can be helpful to remind yourself who you are and what defines you as an individual. From there, you can make better decisions.
When Cheryl W. M. faces negative thoughts, she tells herself, “I don’t sweat the small stuff.”
By linking her desired mindset to her self-image in this way, she makes it easier to follow through with her goal of not letting minor inconveniences or difficulties become roadblocks.
Cheryl explains that her affirmation “helps to keep me centered and positive.”
Science supports Cheryl’s experience. In one study, participants with high levels of chronic stress showed reduced problem-solving ability. However, those who engaged in a brief self-affirmation activity performed significantly better on challenging tasks than those who didn’t.
This suggests that self-affirmations can protect against the negative effects of stress, such as impaired creativity and problem-solving.
Confirming the importance of linking affirmations to your identity, Sylvester says that empowering affirmations work best when they begin with “I am,” such as “I am true to myself,” “I am capable,” or “I am smart.” Set in the present tense, they “affirm that things are happening in the present, versus in the future.”
This is when first-person self-talk can prove beneficial, eliminating the emotional distance between your identity and what you want to affirm.
Kim S., understands the power of using self-talk in this way. Every time she looks in the bathroom mirror, she tells herself that she loves herself; then she says, “I am surrounded by love. I am strong today. I can make it right now, just for right now.”
In addition to using “I am” statements that focus on the current moment, Kim, who’s in her early sixties, also imagines being surrounded by white, healing light and beautiful hearts. “And if I have to,” she continues, “I repeat this five times per day.”
When you’re dealing with bipolar depression, it might feel inauthentic or untrue to say to yourself, “I am happy” or “I am capable.” Depression feels heavy and can often rob you of the belief that you can get out of bed, continue with your routines, and return to happiness. At these times, it’s essential to remember that your brain is mistaken.
Clinical psychologist and author of Overcoming the Destructive Inner Voice, Robert W. Firestone, PhD, identifies the “critical inner voice” — the stream of negative, self-defeating, and highly critical self-talk — as the “enemy within.” He writes that this enemy can be overcome only by recognizing it and actively working against it.
By distancing yourself from the “enemy within” and aligning with your true identity through positive, emotionally charged affirmations, you can move toward a more balanced and uplifting state of mind.
That sense of control can feel especially empowering when your mood seems to dictate your days.
Because internal self-talk influences both beliefs and behavior, cultivating awareness of that inner voice enables more intentional, affirming thought patterns.
Lorenzo says, “I know it’s difficult. If you’re struggling, there are ways to adapt your lifestyle and cope with difficult emotions. Such as, for me, affirmations and positive self-talk.”
“It’s a journey,” he says, “for sure.”
There are many ways to increase your sense of personal power and inject some positivity and affirmations into your daily routine. Here are a few to get you started.
Our mental health stays balanced from many forms of help and we need to look at all angles.
Melinda
Reference:
Melinda
Melinda
Here are a few products my husband & I are using right now and a few main stays. I hope you find a product to add to your wellness routine. The list may also give you ideas for a surprise for friends, and family. Most products are found on Amazon however, I’m not an Amazon Affiliate and I make no commission from you using the links. Each link takes you directly to the items Amazon page.
Up to 12 Hours Temporary Relief of Mild to Moderate Pain, Backache, Sore Muscle, Sprains, Bruises. Clinically studied & effective to temporarily relieve mild to moderate pain.
Contains two powerful pain fighting ingredients, menthol and methyl salicylate (an NSAID – a nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug).
Rounded corners that resist peeling and flexible fabric.
Discreet and Comfortable: Thin, flexible design conforms to your body, making them suitable for use at home, work, or on the go.
Visit the Sleep Innovations Store
Featuring pressure-relieving TEMPUR-Material™ and our adjustable blend for the ideal balance of comfort and support. 5-Year Warranty, Adjustable fill for personalized sleep, and This item features a removable, machine-washable cover so you can refresh your sleep space as often as you like.
https://www.tempurpedic.com/shop-pillows/cloud-hybrid-pillow/v/4346/
For Body Muscle Pain Cramps Relief, 6 Heat Settings Machine Washable Electric Heating Pad. Soft Multi-Function Heating Pad: Heating pads for women are made of ultra-fine plush and can be used on double sides, It is extremely soft and gives you unexpected gentle care. Electric heating pad can achieve rapid heating within a few seconds, and provides overheating protection, auto shut off, timing and other safety protection functions, allowing you to enjoy the happiness of pain relief without worry
6 Heating Levels & 4 Timing Settings: Warmth and pain relief in one heating pad with 6 heating levels from 104℉(40℃) to 149℉ (65℃) and 4 timer settings (1h/2h/4h/6h). Whether it’s a mild to strong and lasting hot compress effect, or keeping warm in the cold winter, large heating pad can help you choose the most appropriate heating temperature and timer according to the degree of physical discomfort at any time
My husband and I can’t live without these products, they have improved our life and especially our sleeping.
Reference:
Melinda
Thank you for joining me for this week’s Friday Quote.

Melinda
What fun SNL was in the past!!!!! Look at the success on a langly young man.
It’s the weekend!!!!!!
I’m glad you joined me for another edition of Weekend Music Share this week.
Have a great weekend!
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
Carrie’s voice is angelic and perfect for this song. Her range blows me away.
Melinda
Welcome to Wordless Wednesday, I’m gald you stopped by.

Melinda
This is a great hostess gift, great for parties, or makes an inexpensive gift for someone at the office.
Tea sachet/Cheesecloth
Spices
Dry red wine
Pot/Slow cooker
Orange slices
Honey/Sugar (optional)
For a cozy beverage to have by your side, fill the tea sachet (or a square of cheesecloth) with cloves, star anise, cinnamon sticks, and peppercorns to simmer in some wine. Or attach these sachets to a bottle of wine for a holiday gift.
To make spiced wine, pour a bottle of dry red wine into a pot or slow cooker, and place the sachet into the wine. Add a few orange slices and simmer on low, do not boil, for about 45 minutes. Sweeten the wine with a few tablespoons of honey or sugar, if desired.
Serve in mugs with garnishes like cinnamon sticks or star anise.
Melinda
Refernce:
Melinda
Following Ribana is an all encompassing journey of travel, book reviews, creating recipes and so much more. When she shares a recipe, she walks you through the process in words and incredable photos. Be sure to visit her blog and go hungry!
Melinda
I don’t hope for people to think or say nice things about me, that’s not important. What’s important is what I think about myself and it’s a bonus if people think kindly of me. I’m thrilled everytime a blogger sends me a nice comment or appreciates a post, it’s an instant smile every time. People judge or have a perception of you based on many factors and it’s beyond our control.
Living an authentic life is how I live and people will form their own perception of me. I’m mostly talking about blogging because my close family members are no longer here and it’s hard to make friends when you don’t leave the house.
Living life wishing or worrying about what other’s think of you is a waist of time. My reply is not meant to sound negative, it’s my reality and everyone’s is different. The difference it what makes the world go round.

Melinda
Melinda
Enjoy!
Melinda
Melinda
John Mayer’s music rocks my world.
It’s the weekend!!!!!!
I’m glad you joined me for another edition of Weekend Music Share this week.
Have a great weekend!
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
Thank you for joining me for this week’s Friday Quote.

Melinda
Melinda
We’re back with another round of inspiring fibro bloggers who continue to write, reflect, and uplift despite the daily challenges of chronic illness. These storytellers offer wisdom, humor, and solidarity to the fibromyalgia community—and beyond.
Glenys writes with gentle honesty about home life, aging, and the quiet rhythms of living with fibromyalgia. Her blog is a space of peace and acceptance, where chronic illness is acknowledged but not allowed to eclipse joy.
“I write about home keeping, aging, peace and acceptance. My blog is a place to reflect on the small things that make life meaningful—even when pain is present.”
Fibro-related posts include:
Dale combines photography and storytelling to explore life with fibromyalgia. His YouTube channel and blog are filled with creative therapy ideas, including how photography can be a healing outlet.
“I use photography to express what words sometimes can’t. Living with fibromyalgia has taught me to see beauty in stillness and resilience in imperfection.”
Fibro-related content includes:
Carrie blends advocacy, art, and lived experience to illuminate life with fibromyalgia and also axial spondylarthritis. Her blog, My Several Worlds, is a vibrant hub for chronic illness awareness. From her home in Taipei, she writes with clarity and compassion, offering both practical resources and emotional resonance within Asian healthcare and the wider world.
“Blogging is a great coping tool because it allows me to vent when I need to. Plus, it’s a great way to meet other people in the chronic illness community.”
Fibro-related content includes:
Her work is especially powerful for those seeking validation in complex medical systems, and for anyone who needs to hear: you are not alone, and your story matters.
Melinda’s blog is a blend of advocacy, interviews, and personal reflection. Her “Blogger Highlight” series lifts up other voices in the fibro community, and she writes candidly about mental health and invisible illness.
“I want to shine a light on the stories that often go unheard. Fibromyalgia is invisible, but our voices don’t have to be.”
Fibro-related posts include:
Windy writes about her experience with fibromyalgia and physical therapy, weaving in reflections on faith and healing. Her blog is heartfelt and grounded, offering hope to those navigating similar paths.
“My connection to God has helped me through the hardest parts of this journey. I write to share what I’ve learned and to remind others they’re not alone.”
Fibro-related posts include:
We hope you’ve enjoyed meeting these five fabulous fibro bloggers. Their voices are part of a growing chorus of resilience, creativity, and advocacy. Stay tuned for the next spotlight in our Focus on Five Fibro Blogs series or review the previous one.
Sending a special thanks you to all the Fibro Warrior’s who contribute to Fibro Directory, speading awareness is critical.
Fibro Bloggers Directory is the brainchild of Lee Good, the community of Fibro Warriors contribute post focused living with Fibromyalgia. If you are interested in learning about how to join the group, reach out Firbo Directory for information.
If you don’t want to join at this time, you can visit for invaluable resources.
Melinda
Reference:
https://www.fibrobloggerdirectory.com/search/label/fibro%20bloggers
Melinda
There was a time when giving awards to other bloggers was common place and were fun to participate in. Many bloggers may not have seen the old awards so I thought it would be fun to share. This post is not about me, it’s about blogging history.



Blogger Recognition Award
The Sunshine Blogger Award
Dragon Loyalty Award
Once a Victim Now a Survivor Award
Brave Heart Award
Most Influential Blogger Award
The Creative Blogger Award
No Strings Attached Award
Treasure Trove Award
Word Press Family Award
The Disability Award
It’s a shame the images are not available anymore, some were very creative.
The awards date from 2015 to 2020, here’s to the good old days.
Melinda


Melinda
Choosing one is a difficult task because there were so many great cartoons when I was little. The one that sticks with my is Popeye, eating his spinch for strenght and declaring “I am what I am”. My memory of every episode doesn’t come to mind but Popeye had a positive attitude and always pitched in to make things right.
Melinda