Love Is A Verb, It Ain't A Thing **Gramps Thank You For Showing Your Love**

Gramps would skip my nick name “Pud” and go straight to first name asking why I wrote this. Because I love you and want to thank you for being the father I never had. You taught me thru love when I needed it most. Your rules strict and set in cement. You taught me responsibility by setting an example. The nuggets we learn and realize when we’re older. I work to live by your example except for telling dirty jokes and I cuss way more.

I went to work at 15 years old and drove his car. He had me pay $50 for yearly insurance and $8.00 a week for gas, gas cost 0.89 at the time. My first car was a puck green Dodge Duster, the car was ugly but the tunes blared out. I was jamming. The rules were clear-cut, I could only drive my car to school, work, journalism, girls basketball and granny to mall. Granny told me years later he checked to make sure I was working on school paper, I was, he never checked again. When I started dating at 17 years old my curfew was 12:00, not 12:05. No phone calls after 9:00 PM, no leaving the house after 9:00PM, “you could get into no good if leaving after 9:00PM”. If not working I was home by 4:30PM for supper. Both of my grandparents showed me their love. He only raised his voice one time. His temper a slow burn, when it blew there was no convincing him, he might be wrong. He and granny were both stubborn and I didn’t fall far from the tree.

Being raised by the generation who faced the great depression, dust bowl and WWII was a blessing. I heard how poor most people were, you took any job you could get because there went many. How the war effected businesses, many jobs were frozen which meant you could not leave for another job. All efforts at home focused on supporting the war, granny became a riveter, some women worked in large sewing areas and most struggled to keep their head above water. It seems hard to think about today, my grandmother cut tin cans to use for curlers, she had two dresses, every night she had to wash one.

I didn’t have designers clothes, phone in my room, Atari, pool or new car. I never expected nor did I care what others wore or drove. I thought everyone lived this way. Was I naïve.

I miss my grandparents everyday and blessed by the lessons taught. Most important was their love, showing me their love.

“Love is a verb, it ain’t a thing” John Mayer

XO Warrior

Categories: Caregiver

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  1. How wonderful to have loving grandparents! Mine were all deceased by the time I was 8 (except 1-he had Alzheimer’s and lived very far away). I am grateful that my parents are still with me…I just love “first car” stories😄 and I had not as many boundaries as a teen…probably should not have been trusted so much😁

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    • My grandfather was a year from retiring, they could have traveled and kicked back. My grandmother knew I drank, she would whisper don’t take your meds tonight when I was sick. We never talked about it, they never ask if I partied on weekends. I did get in trouble when I came home bouncing off the walls then got sick. When I was boarding school they had family night, it was a group for the parents. I didn’t get to visit but could see them for a minute afterwards. They would bring candy, always enough for the entire dorm. If she made brownies, she made enough to go around. They never missed a family the entire year I was there. Both supported me form the beginning, they knew my treated me bad but didn’t know how badly. My mother would take my arm and dig her nails into the underside, leaning cut marks. My grandmother didn’t understand why I cried when she took my arm. Luckily she got to she it close up. I didn’t have confidence living in an abusive household and they worked hard to build my confidence. My gramps would watch the Miss America and I would mimic their walk, just silly. During one of the shows I said I wanted to be Miss America. My gramps was so cool, he said you can do whatever I wanted to do. That stuck with me and I used it when times were going good at work I would joke how I was I Miss America. They both built me up in small ways from the time I was a small child. A great example the fun we had it the spiting watermelon seeds on the picnic table to see who went far and still stayed on table. They really taught me how much fun you could have just hanging with them. I could talk all day about them, but at retirement they took in a recovering drug addict, alcoholic and wild child. I turned around quickly out of respect for them. I smoked and granny said it was ok to smoke in house,
      I would go on the porch. Why smoke in a house when they didn’t smoke. It didn’t seen right to me. I had a short leash and it built the person I am today. I can’t thank them enough.
      I thought about you today, read your post and I felt frustration with the dad. The children are feeling his games. It’s sad yet not surprising with his sick mind. Stay strong, the truth always comes to the surface. I’m here if need me just reach for my hand.
      Hugs 🙂


      • You were blessed! Every child needs a relationship filled with trust, love, and care. It is obviously, not always a biological parent who becomes that person. I was such a nerd….I worked at Epcot Center as a teen, and I just never seemed to fit in with my coworkers. I remember buying one pack of cigarettes (in my entire life)…my plan was to smoke during my breaks, so that someone would talk to me (the smokers were always talking). My step dad smoked at least 2 packs a day. It didn’t work, so I gave it up! I ended up more on the receiving end of sexual predators – and didn’t even realize what was happening…I stayed out until 2 and 3 in the morning – hanging out at Disney, or other resort areas where there were people up all night. My mom and step dad were busy with the 6 kids who were younger than me – as long as I stayed on the good side of the law and kept quiet, life was fine. I pretty much raised myself from 15 – 18…then I got married.


      • Dearest Angel,
        If felt lucky then and more so now. They are the reason I’m alive today, both tried to instill confidence in me from a small child and always encouraged my interest. I wanted to work for Life Magazine as a photojournalist and they never said the reality of it actually happening. My gramps always said if you want to you will do it. I wished everyone had parents or someone in their life who love them unconditionally. I hope things come to a head with the truth with the dad so he will back off of the kids. So glad both AoA kids continue to see the difference between the two of you as they get older.
        Hugs 🙂


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