A couple music favorites from my wild child days. By 12 years old I already lived a lifetime, the drugs probably kept me alive. Read my About Me page and you may agree. I would break a kilo of marijuana down to four finger bags in a couple of hours. Using old fashion sandwich bags, just roll and lick to seal. My 21-year-old boyfriend was a dealer and we would sell kilo in two nights. This became our Friday ritual every two weeks. There is a long story behind how a drug addicted 12-year-old missed out playing with Barbie’s. I had Angels guiding my path. XO Warrior
And thems was the good ole days of rock-n-roll. Thanx M.!
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That they were. I remember the first time smoking out of a bong, no one told me how to do it. I kept sucking in smoke until had to let go of hole and wham! I remember clearly being so stoned sitting on the couch listening to Steve Miller and I felt like my body was turning like a record. I kept asking are you sure I’m not spinning around. I was 12-13 and the group 20-30. There is something wrong when people that age think getting high partying with them is normal. I still shake me head. I told someone earlier , the drugs kept me alive. I am a very blessed woman. Glad you like the tunes, just your time frame.
M
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Love Zep.
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🙂
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The angels you have are so grateful to be with you still ❤ Your soul is so bright and have always been ❤ Love the music!!
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Thank you Maria
Looking back it is a miracle I’ve reached 51 years old. Thank you for the kind words. We all need a boost at times.
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Maria
You are carrying so much on your shoulders without an outlet of a friend to just listen. I’m glad doctors have come to an initial diagnosis. It is so hard in the beginning to wrap you head around what there is to know. You also have the blessing and challenge of being a single mother. I’m here to talk with you about your journey and lend an ear. I’ve been there and sharing helps. I offer my hand to you anytime you need a friend. msandorm@verizon.net, we can get down and dirty offline. You know better than most, breath. Grab a minute when you can to meditate. You might want to keep a small notebook to write down anything question you have, what you learn, anything else. My journals have proved handy 10 years later. I am organized and keep a separate notebook for each doctor or process. Group is out of your comfort zone, keep a separate book since you may have many thoughts and questions.
Have a great day. I’m happy to hear about your soon, maybe he’s just being a child with anxiety.
You are a strong lady and taking each step sets the example for your kids.
Hugs
🙂
M
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Thank you for your support sweety! I deeply appreciate it! I have saved your email, I have just not been strong enough to reach out yet. But I will. I am focusing a lot on my yoga and meditation during the week now. I don’t manage to find time for it everyday. But most days. And I will absolutely take you up on the journal idea. I have always been scared that someone would use it against me, but I am not any more. So today I will go to the bookshop and by myself a nice notebook to start my journal in. Thank you ❤
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Maria
Your at the beginning of a new journey with so much to learn. We learn, deny, learn, try to apply and use tools that work for you not what doesn’t feel comfortable. I see several doctors for serious issues, heart doctor, lyme doctor, psych and therapist. I like to keep separate journal for each so I only have to look one place. I also plan each meeting in journal so I stay on track. Find a system you can manage and not manage you. I’m glad you have more information and can start to learn and understand. My hand is always reached out for you. Your not ready to talk because you have so much to process. I see great blessings in your future. You will learn who you are, why you make decisions and apply changes in time. At 51 I know now mental illness of any type is a life long journey yet not one that has to rule your life. Keep satisfying
your soul with yoga meditation. I have complete confidence you are strong enough to move forward and reach out when needed.
Hugs
:0
M
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❤️❤️
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Hugs
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Really Twin, a BIG Angel!! ❤
Nice songs! 🙂
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Twin P
More like the hand of God! So you like the harder rock? I would not have guessed. Have a fun day.
Sleepy Twin M
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Dear Twin, I don’t really have a type of music I like, I like many songs 🙂
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Twin P
You’ve spilled the beans, now we have to add several other dance moves to our tour. Your mama will love that!
Writing the post about my father has brought on so many emotions including guilt. I’ll be happy to post and move forward. Feb. is a difficult month. When you so sick on top of you think you’re going crazy.
Sleepy Twin M
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Guilt Twin?? That’s more painful than hemorrhoids!! I hope you have the post ready and so it’s out of your system for good 🙂
I’m so behind reading that I want to cry. I have my browser with MANY tabs open waiting and almost no time to sit and answer the comments… I don’t like it! 🙂
February is almost over.
Hugs! ❤ ❤
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Quit putting that level of pressure of yourself. No one can read every post they would like every week. You can control the stress, other types you can’t. If you can’t read, place over and click on a like button. It’s a fact of life. 🙂
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Hahahaha 🙂
I’l try your method… Or I do the same I did while studying. I chose the paragraphs to read. I’m still amazed I could graduate 😀
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Two favorites. Clapton….genius. And Robert Plant’s stage presence made his peers look like choir boys. These were my college years, surrounded by drugs that were hard to resist. But college was my way out, and I couldn’t risk losing scholarships.That fear saved me at a time when I saw so many fall apart. Morning memories…thanks, M.
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Good morning Van
You were smart, education takes you far beyond the high. These memories pop up and it’s hard to think it’s me. Actually the miracle is I’m alive. I did everything except needles, still not crazy about needles. By the time I hit 16 years old my drug days were in the past. Tough love and a year in a troubled girls school turned me around. I don’t have children yet can’t fathom a 12 years old living that life. Having a mentally ill father added to my crazy life. I don’t drink anymore and being a homebody suits me fine.
🙂
M
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I watched my childhood friend end up in a psych ward after one LSD trip. That alone had me “scared straight”. You need to celebrate that miracle, M. There’s a reason you made it out, when so many did not. Survival instincts…much respect. Van
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Van
I had one bad trip, no more acid for me. Celebrate my good blessings are more productive than blaming. Years of abuse builds your survival instincts. The love of my grandparents and the hand of God keeps me celebrating. You sparked an idea. I’m an Ordained Minister, working the “bad” kids might help one troubled teen. I have Lyme disease and possibly 2-3 years before well enough. The time gives me a chance to think what I have to offer. Thanks for the conversation and reading my blog.
🙂
M
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My pleasure, Melinda, always interesting. Van
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Reblogged this on SURVIVORS BLOG HERE.
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