The post may get confusing, in one paragraph I may be talking to you and next I’m talking about what I did. If you have a questions, please drop me a line.
Many people are finding themselves in caregiver roles. I worked harder than imagined and so glad I did. The memories of being there out weights lack of sleep.
*Carry a list of your loved one’s, include all medicines, supplements and health issues. Keep one list in your wallet and a copy for your loved one in case of emergency. This is a life saver in an emergency.
*EMT’s look for answers in your wallet.
*If the first and second surgery does not work, Is there a third option?
*What is the recovery time and what type of home health services are needed. Doctor has to call in order.
*Keep a small note-book include notes about patient care and to do list.
If your family has Hillbillies, oh I meant Vultures, I have my share. I scheduled their visit’s, this house is no longer “come as you wish.” Call me first! I have to create the best environment for gramps. I kept a tight fist on people trying to stir up dust. REMEMBER, I’m in charge. No need to ask gramps, you deal with me. As gramps grew weak, I posted a sign with visiting hours. For those without a brain, use a sign on front door, OXYGEN IN USE, NO SMOKING.
I made funeral arrangements, no input needed. I play serious ball when taking care of someone I love.
Look hard at the big picture, surgery is difficult for the elderly. Will his life improve by doing the surgery? What if we do nothing? How long do think we will live? What to expect when his bladder/kidneys starts to fail? I’ve questioned myself, should a 92-year-old have surgery?
Gramps went in for a non-invasive surgery which turned into three surgeries over two weeks. The second procedure the doctor inserted a catheters one in each kidney. Imagine the pain of living with catheters implanted in your kidneys, to carry around for a week. Not to mention who’s there to empty the bags or other accidents. The catheters were inserted to make it easier for doctor go thru kidney to bladder. The last procedure included removing the catheters and completed the bladder surgery.
It’s difficult to start a conversation about death until their sick. Conversation about their wishes, what songs they want to played a service, memorial or church service, color of flowers. A birth certificate, marriage certificate and copy of will to see when it was written, an updated version might be in order. Judges don’t use the same language, example a will written 1972 is fair game for Judge to interpret as vague. If the will is over ten years or older, not a bad idea to have a lawyer look over. FOR SURE, if Vultures are on your back. It’s not fun when family members want to move you out of the loop.
I had this problem when gramps died. Their will was written while my parents were still married. Since they could have had another child, we were listed as heirs. If gramps updated the will, which is normal when a spouse dies, we could have cut the number of visits to the courthouse. Who knew? We had to prove we were the heirs and how related to gramps since his name was different than ours. What normally takes three months, took over a year. I was not prepared for the mounds of paper, legal documents, legal counsel, court dates. The same happened with Life Insurance. The policy my grandparents had did not include grandchildren, the funds went to next of kin, technically we were not his next of kin. It’s wasn’t a large amount, I had the money split with his living brothers and sister.
It’s easier to start the conversation early, while alive so they can understand what their signing or feel overwhelmed. The meetings, getting copies of all legal papers, getting yourself on their bank account, where are the insurance policies and medical HIPPA paperwork for each doctor.
Another surprise was having to notify Social Security right away.