Original post 1/2015

I found photos of myself starting at birth. As I looked at each photo my mind was asking who could hit this child. I began to sob, continuing to look at each as I grew older. The question who could hit this child growing louder in my head. People who don’t know me are probably thinking I was crying for myself. The truth is I didn’t think about my circumstances once. I looked at each photo as any child being abused, not even seeing myself in the photo. I knew logically they were me but my mind turns off. I had a similar experience after seeing a news report of a 9-year-old girl abused, starved and killed by parents. She died chained to a post on front porch. I was heartbroken and wished someone could have helped her. There were no tears at home. Several days later I starting talking to my Therapist about the girl. I cried, expressing a range of emotions, it took a few minutes to compose self. I asked my Therapist if the emotions suppressed, I didn’t think so.  After 16 years she knows me and explained I feel deep compassion for others. 

I read my Baby Book, I wanted to show abused children and abuser’s don’t look any different. The parents can say sweet things to cover the abuse at home.   

My Mother’s Message To Her Child

To my beautiful young lady. I wish you all the happiness and grace to you. May God fill your life with all his richness and love. May your path be filled with roses and your heart be filled with the pureness of God. 

New mothers often write their child’s milestones in a Baby Book. Here are my Mother’s observations and comments from mine starting at birth.

Lock of hair from first cut at 12 months old

First baby ring at 18 months

Hand and foot prints traced, right hand at 8 months and right foot at 3 months

First toys were baseball bat and glove from my gramps

I learned to ride a bike at 4 years old

Started walking at 8 months, potty trained at 19 months

Notes: Happy birthday my sweet little kitten, likes to blow bubbles with her food, first school play 5 years old, I was so proud I cried, she has a little temper, she has a big beautiful smile, at 16 months loves music and dancing

The entries stopped but the abuse didn’t.

 Happy Face

Happy Face

Smiling thru the pain

Smiling thru the pain

 

I see the pain yet I'm still smiling

I see the pain yet I’m still smiling

Freckle Face

Freckle Face

At 9 years old my life changed forever

At 9 years old my life changed forever

20 Comments on “The face of child abuse * Mother’s Message To Her Child *

  1. This is a question that I ask myself often these days? Why would someone hurt a pure and innocent child? Looking at your pictures brought tears to my eyes. I am glad you’re in a better place now. Thank you for sharing this with me. Sharing your story helps others in our healing process.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for reading the post. I’ve had it on my mind for some time but reluctant to expose photos and the fantasy my mother lived in. I can’t understand how after all these years child abuse doesn’t have a voice. I see the photos of myself and can see the dead blank behind my eyes. I’m fortunate to have a great Therapist and loving grandparents who helped me move past the pain. I have not talked much about my father sexually abusing me, those are memories I do disassociate from. God has plans for me, I don’t know what or when. He is preparing me for a great challenge. I hope you will stop by again. Have a great day. Thank you for stopping by.
      M

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Great post M. The monuments of great men and women awe us with their glory and grace. History skips across the high notes and we are led to believe all was well in the world. Not anymore. Those pictures paint a beautiful scene of a little girl growing up but its the story of your survival to become the Warrior for little children that is the true monument of glory and grace. Hugs from this old centurion.

    Liked by 2 people

    • D
      Your words mean so much, thank you for the supportive comments. The one point I tried to show is any child, even the best dressed, best behaved and seem perfect families can live in the same pain. It’s easy to forget abuse doesn’t discriminate against race or economic groups. If someone speaks out the system is likely to turn the tables on them. The whole circle of violence was a reminder of the help I had to survive.
      🙂
      M

      Liked by 3 people

  3. Such a lovely girl. I am so sorry for what has happened. I have the same issues with the news, I cannot read the stories about children for fear of crying and having flashbacks to the story for months. I am ¨overly protective¨ of my children already, and the news makes me worse. I had many friends who were abused and raped at young ages, and so when people tell me I worry too much, I always think they have problems with reality.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello my friend
      Thank you for leaving the kinds comments about my post. You have to live in a way you feel good about without letting the possibilities rule your life. Child abuse, any abuse is very personal and everyone heals at different speeds. The key for us with the trauma of abuse in our past is to own it, get a good Therapist and work thru the issues at you pace. I didn’t arrive here with a few sessions. I keep my eyes of the future and be real with myself when emotions pop up. I’m so glad you stopped by my blog, I hope to see you soon.
      🙂
      M

      Liked by 3 people

  4. This is a tough one to “Like”. I’m so sorry for the pain reflected in that sweet child’s pictures. And your first sentence is the best…who could ever abuse a child, this one or any ? Your blessing is that you are a survivor. Much respect. And many hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello friend
      Thank you for reading my post and leaving such nice comments. I can look back and see the building blocks. They didn’t look like at the time. I agree no child or person should be abused. I hope you’ll come back soon.
      🙂
      M

      Liked by 1 person

  5. In every child’s eyes, if you look carefully, you will see the reflection of Heaven above…I see it in these pictures too and my heart aches for the little girl who had to face a world where abusers and crimes goes unpunished. She’s a warrior now, a hero and, the most important, she’s safe. I know, my dearest Melinda, that, the girl you used to be, would be proud of the adult you became…
    Smiling back to the precious child from your pictures, hugging you with all my heart,
    Cari

    Liked by 1 person

    • Cari
      Thank you for taking time to comment. I thought people might now get what the goal was. I one child who is dying on the inside is help in any way it’s a true blessing.The legal system discourages people to speak out and often they become a victim. What helped me turn the corner is living in the convent for a year. My confidence grew and the trust given to me was unbelievable. I was allowed to start a news paper named the Tumble Weed Connection. It looks terrible but I’m so proud of given a chance to develop an idea and somebody thought I could do it. When I locate it I plan to scan a post. It’s a good laugh now. I also wrote for our city newspaper covering girls basketball. This was during high school, I felt like working for a major sports magazine. Have a great evening.
      Hugs 🙂
      M

      Liked by 2 people

    • Hello my friendI have so many things to talk with you about and Lyme is pulling me down. I would not ask for my past or wish on any child. I do know there were people routing for me. God was holding my hand even when I was so angry and couldn’t understand. I’m the person I am today and would not want to take a piece of the puzzle away, I like who I am. Your knowledge allows you to see behind the smiles and blank eyes. Talk to you soon. So glad you had some fun while home even with the hassles. :0 M

      Like

I want to hear your thoughts. I can take it!

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: