Original post 1/2015
I found photos of myself starting at birth. As I looked at each photo my mind was asking who could hit this child. I began to sob, continuing to look at each as I grew older. The question who could hit this child growing louder in my head. People who don’t know me are probably thinking I was crying for myself. The truth is I didn’t think about my circumstances once. I looked at each photo as any child being abused, not even seeing myself in the photo. I knew logically they were me but my mind turns off. I had a similar experience after seeing a news report of a 9-year-old girl abused, starved and killed by parents. She died chained to a post on front porch. I was heartbroken and wished someone could have helped her. There were no tears at home. Several days later I starting talking to my Therapist about the girl. I cried, expressing a range of emotions, it took a few minutes to compose self. I asked my Therapist if the emotions suppressed, I didn’t think so. After 16 years she knows me and explained I feel deep compassion for others.
I read my Baby Book, I wanted to show abused children and abuser’s don’t look any different. The parents can say sweet things to cover the abuse at home.
My Mother’s Message To Her Child
To my beautiful young lady. I wish you all the happiness and grace to you. May God fill your life with all his richness and love. May your path be filled with roses and your heart be filled with the pureness of God.
New mothers often write their child’s milestones in a Baby Book. Here are my Mother’s observations and comments from mine starting at birth.
Lock of hair from first cut at 12 months old
First baby ring at 18 months
Hand and foot prints traced, right hand at 8 months and right foot at 3 months
First toys were baseball bat and glove from my gramps
I learned to ride a bike at 4 years old
Started walking at 8 months, potty trained at 19 months
Notes: Happy birthday my sweet little kitten, likes to blow bubbles with her food, first school play 5 years old, I was so proud I cried, she has a little temper, she has a big beautiful smile, at 16 months loves music and dancing
The entries stopped but the abuse didn’t.