Psychiatric Hospital Stay 2001 Part One

My Journal


What a day! Checked in at 1:00 processed at 3:00. Next step is the questions, why so many questions. Telling your traumatic experiences to a stone faced woman waiting for her shift to end. Now a strip search and off to search my bag.

No CD player or wire bound journal someone may hurt themselves. Losing it, I’m screaming fuck you over and over till my lungs hurt.

No room was available, I stayed on the criminal ward. It was late when taken over to building, nothing looked different. The next morning was a surprise, one shower for entire group with no shower curtain, bathroom stalls with no locks. Talk about privacy.

Under suicide watch the first week, someone had to bring my meals. The same meal the entire week. I’m not allowed to close my door, it’s a prison not a Mental Hospital to help people move forward or past an episode.

I checked in for ECT, not meetings, making friends or being fucked with. The stories of ECT treatments going bad….everyone had something to add. One woman had 40 treatments, she was lying or very sick.

Planning to stay three weeks I brought 10 books to pass the time. I stay in my room three days waiting for an EKG. This is how extra money is made, it was a week before my first ECT treatment. A week waisted.


to be continued……..



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