Dementia Thoughts

Dementia sucks, it’s fucking life sucking. I watched my granny die from Dementia, you don’t wish that type of death on anyone. Once she no longer knew who she or anyone else was it was crushing. I don’t want to die that way and have been vocal about it to the surprise of my husband, Therapist and Psychiatrist. My decision is between me and God.

I say with no emotion, I will kill myself once my mind slips and life becomes fuzzy. One day while sitting with my granny, she broke out into a rage about why gramps left her at someone else’s house. She was in her own home, I’m taking photos off the wall, she continued to escalate, banging her head on the door jam saying gramps left her and she wanted to die. I had to medicate her before she hurt one of us.

Yesterday, I watch a new show, while falling asleep I replayed the show in my mind and forgot a line the maid said. My first reaction was my memory was slipping again but as I thought about the show, I didn’t remember because the line wasn’t significant to the story. A wave of relief came over me.

Knowing when it’s a memory loss or something else can be confussing. If you know someone with memory problems, give them a break and reaffirm the statements or questions. The affirmation will help you better understand if it was a normal memory lapse or something more concerning.

Melinda

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