Charles Trepany, USA TODAYPublished 10:22 a.m. ET Sept. 5, 2019
Billie Eilish is getting real on her mental health.
The “Bury a Friend” songstress confessed in her cover story for Elle magazine that, despite early career success, she hasn’t always been happy.
“Two years ago, I felt like nothing mattered; every single thing was pointless,” she said in the article published Thursday. “Not just in my life, but everything in the whole world. I was fully clinically depressed. It’s insane to look back and not be anymore.”
Eilish has been accused by trolls of faking her depression, which she admitted have been painful to read.
“It hurt me to see that,” she said. “I was a 16-year-old girl who was really unstable. I’m in the happiest place of my life, and I didn’t think that I would even make it to this age.”
The 17-year-old said her mental health has since improved, calling happiness a “crazy” feeling.
“I haven’t been happy for years,” she said. “I didn’t think I would be happy again. And here I am—I’ve gotten to a point where I’m finally okay. It’s not because I’m famous. It’s not because I have a little more money. It’s so many different things: growing up, people coming into your life, certain people leaving your life.”
The singer added she wants people to know there’s hope on the other side of depression.
“For anybody who isn’t doing well, it will get better,” she said. “Have hope. I did this (expletive) with fame riding on my shoulders. And I love fame! Being famous is great, but it was horrible for a year. Now I love what I do, and I’m me again. The good me. And I love the eyes on me.”