More than two years into the movement, male victims grapple with consequences after speaking out, from mockery to job offers drying up: “I’ve never been so vulnerable in my life.”
Last fall, Johnathon Schaech was running out of options. After making a living as an actor for 30 years — 1996’s That Thing You Do! was his breakout — he was in danger of losing his SAG health insurance from lack of work, and he and his wife were trying to have a baby. Schaech, 50, had become something of an unwitting spokesman for male #MeToo victims in 2018 after he said Italian director Franco Zeffirelli had sexually assaulted him on the set of the movie Sparrow in 1993. (Before Zeffirelli died in June 2019, his son, Pippo, denied the allegations in People magazine.) In the aftermath of that disclosure, Schaech found his acting opportunities drying up, and he parted with his agency, APA, and manager, Risa Shapiro.
“I’ve never been so vulnerable in my life,” Schaech says. “Like, whoa, wait a minute. What did I just do?” Schaech was unsure if his newfound vulnerability was hurting his confidence as an actor or if he was being blacklisted for speaking out. “People were taking one side of the #MeToo movement or the other, like a friend of theirs was called out or a friend of theirs was affected,” he says. “They didn’t necessarily hear my story. They heard their story.” Schaech began reaching out to friends for help and secured a meeting with showrunner Greg Berlanti, for whom he had worked on The CW show Legends of Tomorrow. They spoke about parallels between the way gay people in Hollywood had historically been shunned after they came out and the way Schaech worried the industry might be treating him now. Berlanti re-hired Schaech, allowing the actor to retain his health insurance.
It was a small act of kindness during what has been a turbulent time for Schaech and for many men like him who were inspired by the mostly female-driven #MeToo movement. For entertainment industry men, as with women, sexual assaults and harassment have often come from powerful agents, executives and directors. But male accusers have often faced a different set of stigmas and questions than their female peers: Couldn’t a “real man” fend off another man? What does their experience say about their sexuality? Are they being homophobic or outing someone by going public? “If this happens to you as a man, it’s looked upon as a weakness,” Schaech says.
Daniel Zuchnik/WireImage; Brian To/FilmMagic; Arnaldo Magnani/Getty ImagesFrom left: Spacey, Venit and Zeffirelli
Among the first Hollywood men to counter that narrative was Brooklyn Nine-Nine star and former NFL player Terry Crews, who reached a settlement with WME in 2018 after alleging that Adam Venit, then head of the agency’s motion picture department, repeatedly grabbed his genitals at a 2016 industry party. In a string of tweets posted days after TheNew York Times and The New Yorker first ran stories on Harvey Weinstein’s abusive behavior, the 6-foot-2, 240-pound Crews detailed his alleged sexual assault. Venit apologized, was suspended and stripped of his title at WME and ultimately retired. Crews would go on to endure mockery, including from 50 Cent, who posted on Instagram that had he been the man assaulted, “they would have had to take me to jail.” Crews, who declined to comment for this piece, also was heralded for speaking out, including being named one of Time‘s 2017 people of the year (as part of a group of “silence breakers”). And he has continued to work steadily, including serving as a host on America’s Got Talent and keeping his role as a lieutenant on Brooklyn Nine-Nine, which is set to shoot its eighth season.
My migraine journey started off very quickly, painful, and terrifying. I had no idea what was happening since I had not had a migraine before. I thought something else was wrong with me. Maybe my eyes were strained, maybe I was under to much stress, maybe my brain tumor had come back, I just didn’t know.
I would leave work as soon as I could to go home and lay down and pray for sleep. The pain was unlike any headache I ever had and my doctor called me “a headache person”. I was at the height of my career as a Senior Sales Manager, my whole week was spent in front of clients. It was excruciating to make it through a meeting before I could rush home and take a shot.
I was at more than one corporate meeting and have to leave, take an injection, and go back to the meeting. Those injections make you feel very strange, drugged, almost stoned. I would sit through the rest of the meetings and not remember half of what was said. Thank goodness I can take notes.
After experiencing several migraines in a month I went to my general doctor for help. At first, he gave me the injections to take, since I was only having a couple a month the injections should help. When my migraines starting happening every week the doctor put me on Beta-Blockers. I took them until the side effects were too much and I was still getting migraines.
He then put me on a daily pill for prevention and I continued to use the injections. I hobbled along like this for almost two years. Multiple migraines a week, missed work, missed family outings, and missing out on life. Migraines ruled my world.
One day while talking with my doctor and him scratching his head for answers, he said wait a minute, I read an article that might help us. He pulled it out and read it over and made a referral to an Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor.
Sure enough, I had a deviated septum and the pressure was causing my migraines. I had the out-patient surgery and have had far fewer migraines since.
Here’s some technical information about deviated septum.
For most patients, a deviated septum is something they are born with or that they developed as they were growing up. In some cases, a septum can become crooked as time passes or as a result of traumatic injury. Aside from irregular air flow, the following symptoms may arise from a deviated septum:
Nosebleeds
Congestion
Sinus infections
Snoring
Runny nose
Headaches
When a Deviated Septum Causes a Headache
The association between a deviated septum and the migraine condition can be found in sinus infections. When mucus becomes blocked, it can lead to infections, discomfort and headache, which may in turn cause stress and trigger a migraine episode in some patients. It is important to note that the sinus infection is acting as a trigger of stress rather than a direct trigger of migraines.
A deviated septum can be cured with a surgical procedure known as a septoplasty, which can be performed on an outpatient basis. For patients who suffer from major sinus infections, headaches and snoring, a septoplasty can bring about a major improvement in terms of quality of life. This may also be the case for patients who live with chronic migraine conditions, but only if the majority of their episodes were actually triggered by stress emanating from sinus infections or lack of sleep. According to Migraine Relief Center.
I’m so glad my doctor kept up with reading the medical journals or who knows how much longer I would have had to suffer. If you have constant or more than normal migraines, see an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor. Maybe you will be lucky enough to have a fixable problem.
*Just a note about having nose surgery*
My surgery was around 1994 so the way doctors approach nose surgery may be different today. At the time there were two schools of thought. Packing the nose and not packing the nose after surgery. Thank God my doctor was of the “not packing” school of thought. What that means is after my surgery there were no gauzes packed into my sinuses. I had to take these long q-tips and put Neosporin way up my nose for two weeks. During that time I had to be careful when sneezing and blowing my nose. At the end of the two weeks I went in for a check-up and he gave me the green light everything had healed fine.
The “packing” school of thought is packing your sinuses with gauze. I don’t remember how long you had to leave them in. When it is time for them to be removed, the doctor pulls them out through your nose. Most people I talked to said you want to lose your cookies when they come out. The only comparison I have is when my belly button was pierced. I felt like my stomach was coming up through the needle when he pierced me. To say it was painful is an understatement.
I hope the technology is different today but you might want to ask your doctor before surgery.
For those of you who continue to suffer from migraines, my heart goes out to you. I know how they can disrupt your day and your life. Keep looking for answers, keep reading the medical journals.
Anxiety, chronic pain, and depression are among some of the most common issues in the world and a lot of medicines do not really assist purely with these symptoms. That is why there are plenty of alternatives that can assist, such as CBD. There are plenty of different types of CBD and they work in different ways. They can also be ingested in many forms. Why not take a look at CBD Living Gelcaps to see the benefits. Taken as supplements that can really assist.
CBD has proven benefits on the body and they are renowned as essential supplements that support a healthy immune system, which can benefit your body and boost your natural defenses. Vitamin C supports all aspects of immune function needed for optimal antibody production, whilst Vitamin D is important for improved resistance, and Bilberry is packed with antioxidants that are beneficial to improving the overall immune system. By keeping your immune system healthy, you are keeping your body healthy as the immune system is key to keeping our bodies working healthily. Anxiety and depression often come hand in hand and you can look at some of the ways in which they can affect daily life.
Rapid heart rate
Palpitations
Chest pain or tight chest
Headaches
Sweats
Fear
Mental symptoms such as entrapment, doom, or fear.
You should always talk to your doctor if you have any of these symptoms as there are plenty of ways in which you can help yourself to overcome the symptoms. They are certainly not pleasant and can affect daily activities, including work, which is why taking supplements and also maintaining a healthy lifestyle can really help. Distraction is a huge key for people with anxiety and depression. Focusing on other things and looking at the benefits of new tasks and new adventures. When you don’t have access to your doctor or therapist, then there are some little things that you can add to your life just to give yourself that little boost when you need it.
Listen to music that is upbeat and inspires you.
Have a real laugh! (With friends if possible)
Take a walk around the park or the streets.
Declutter things, keep things simple in the house.
Give someone a hug and start smiling more, it helps reset the brain.
Think about the good things that you have and when things went well.
Allow yourself time to talk things through.
Talking through problems is so important because a problem shared is a problem halved and without this mentality, you will block things in your mind and keep yourself from progressing further. You need to be open to talking and to appreciate that mental health issues are common and you are never alone. With the help of CBD supplements and a great network, you are on the way to recovery. If you feel you have nobody to talk to then be sure to look at places online to help you where you can join online groups and forums.
Moving through the world as a black woman, I am accustomed to not being represented as “the norm.” Everything from the hue of the Band-Aids that cover my wounds to the heroes in the movies I watch makes me acutely aware of my deviation from what is typical and expected: I am black and female, whereas the world represented around me is often white and male. For me and for many members of minority groups in the United States, this realization does not come as an epiphany but is instead an essential fact that we must come to understand to navigate the world in which we live. It was not until I started medical school, however, that I realized the ways in which the standard representation of white and male might affect medical education — and consequently the quality of care that my peers and I will provide to our future patients.
I began to ponder this issue after taking my school’s mandatory in-person CPR training course. The paramedics walked in with large bags filled with plastic mannequins and opened them to reveal that all our “patients” were white male bodies. I left the 2-hour course without any knowledge of the nuances of performing CPR on patients with breasts or the potential precautions we should consider for pregnant women. These gaps are particularly troubling since women are less likely than men to receive bystander CPR because of fears regarding inappropriate touching, potential accusations of sexual assault, and causing injury.1
I had a similar feeling during a microbiology class as our professor swiftly moved through the final points of a lecture. The topic of the day was extracellular pathogens, and the star of the lesson was Borrelia burgdorferi, the bacterium known to cause Lyme disease. “A hallmark of stage 1 Lyme disease is a bull’s-eye rash, erythema migrans, which typically appears 3 days after infection,” the professor explained confidently. Behind him was an image from the Centers for Disease and Control and Prevention of a prominent red bull’s-eye rash on white skin. Shortly after the explanation, a classmate raised his hand and asked the professor, “How do you recognize this rash in patients with darker skin?” The professor responded that it is more difficult to see the rash on melanated skin (see figure) and moved on to the next slide.
Class ended and I felt unsatisfied with the idea that the answer could be so simple: “Stage 1 Lyme disease is hard to see in patients who are not white, so therefore we don’t depend on rash recognition for diagnosis.” It didn’t feel right, so I decided to look for answers. My first stop: Google. I searched “bull’s-eye Lyme disease” and the first page of images was populated with photos similar to the ones I had seen in class: a homogeneous representation of the rash on white skin. I was not surprised, but I was disappointed.
My mind started racing with questions: “Is the diagnosis of Lyme disease in black and brown patients delayed? Do these patients therefore present with more advanced symptoms, such as neurologic disorders and arthritis, than white patients?” More research revealed that my hypotheses were correct. One study of patients with Lyme disease found that there was a higher proportion of diagnoses of arthritis (late-stage Lyme disease) and a lower proportion of diagnoses of erythema migrans (stage 1 Lyme disease) among black patients than among white patients.2 The authors concluded that this difference could be attributed to a failure to recognize early signs of the disease in black patients.
From the images in textbooks used in medical schools to the photos displayed at medical conferences, patients of color are grossly underrepresented in medical educational material.3 If medical students and trainees are taught to recognize symptoms of disease in only white patients and learn to perform lifesaving maneuvers on only male-bodied mannequins, medical educators may be unwittingly contributing to health disparities instead of mitigating them. Most worrisome, the United States may be in danger of graduating large numbers of physicians who are unable to serve the needs of our ever-diversifying patient population.
Many medical schools throughout the country have integrated courses about health disparities into their curricula and have made diversity and community engagement key pillars of their institutional missions. Such efforts may fall flat, however, if we don’t ask ourselves important questions: What is the true value of these institutional reforms if we continue to underrepresent minority populations and women in our foundational learning material — or exclude them altogether? How might this lack of representation indirectly contribute to the disparities we seek to address? And, what moral responsibility do medical schools have to ensure that students graduate with the tools and experience necessary to equitably treat these patient populations?
As a first-year medical student, I have considered steps we can take to address these inequities during the early stages of medical education. First, it is essential that medical schools obtain female-bodied mannequins so that students can comfortably learn about the nuances of performing CPR on patients with breasts. Schools could also develop a complementary curriculum addressing common misconceptions about female bodies, appropriate touching, and follow-up conversations about consent. Second, medical educators should strive to include images of more than one skin type in their learning material. Reference photos of patients with nonwhite skin have already begun to be collected on online platforms such as Brown Skin Matters and VisualDx; such collections could be used as a starting point for developing new material.4 Finally, these reforms cannot be merely isolated changes, but should be part of broader policy changes and ongoing requirements implemented at all medical institutions. This approach will ensure that these changes are lasting and become ingrained in competencies for medical practice.
Medical education is missing the bull’s-eye. The current standardized, homogeneous representation of white males in medical education is exclusionary and puts patients of color and women at risk for adverse health outcomes. These exclusionary practices are pervasive throughout medicine and are indicative of a larger problem: the systemic exclusion of these patients from clinical trials, like their underrepresentation in anatomy courses, affects the quality of care we provide to these populations.5
As a black woman and future health care practitioner, I believe that educators should reevaluate their learning material and develop curricula for all levels of medical education that ensure equal representation of all people. The existing antiquated standard of white male representation may lead even the most well-meaning medical students to perpetuate health care disparities in their future practices. Our inaction will be especially harmful for patients with intersecting marginalized identities, such as women of color, who already bear the brunt of some of our most pressing health disparities. We must act expeditiously — going beyond written commitments to diversity and inclusion — if we seek to advocate for and equitably serve these patients.
I decided to become a physician because of my goal of advocating for and serving patients of all backgrounds — including those who look like me. My hope now is that the institutions that have pledged to teach me and my peers to become mission-driven physicians will provide us with adequate tools to achieve this goal.
Disclosure forms provided by the author are available at NEJM.org.
Virtual hugs. So glad you joined me this weekend. I do take request! Just drop your suggestions in the comment box. Have a great weekend.
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share; the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the ‘Weekend Music Share‘ banner in your post, and don’t forget to use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
Six months ago I was diagnosed with Hypogammaglobulinemia, an immune disorder where the body doesn’t create enough antibodies to fight off disease. The Immunologist ran a comprehensive round of labs and found I have low antibodies for all types of Pneumonia except one. He wanted me to get a Pneumonia vaccine now even though they are normally not given until age 65.
My General Practitioner has now given me both rounds of the vaccine. The pneumonia vaccine is a two-prong, one-shot then another eight weeks later. While there she asked if I had Chicken Pox as a child. Yes, I had Chicken Pox so she suggested I get a Shingles vaccine once we completed the Pneumonia vaccines. I go back after September 17th to get my Flu and Shingles round one shot. Yes, Shingles is also a two-round shot.
Shingles is another vaccine that isn’t normally talked about until your 65 but with my weekend immune system, it is better safe than sorry by waiting. Shingles are terrible and extremely painful. The Chicken Pox virus lives in your body and can reactivate by becoming Shingles later in life.
I already knew about the vaccinations because of my grandparents but had not thought about needing them at 55 years versus 65 years old.
Talk with your doctor about your risk for Pneumonia, it was a simple lab test and it clearly showed my body could not fight off all but one type. Who knew there were different types of Pneumonia?
As a parent who is also a survivor of incest, I want nothing more than to protect my children from sexual violence. I constantly wonder what it will take to improve, if not end, rape culture in our society.
Every 73 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted, according to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, or RAINN. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, nearly 1 in 5 women and 1 in 38 men have experienced completed or attempted rape — forced or coerced vaginal, anal or oral sex. Rape can happen at the hands of known or unknown assailants, including spouses or significant others.
My oldest daughter is 9, and my twins — a boy and a girl — are 6. They are not too young to be educated about sexual health and what healthy relationships look and feel like. We refer to their body parts with the appropriate names; we talk about hygiene, privacy and boundaries. I have taught them about tricky people, and the thing we probably talk more about than anything else is consent.ADADVERTISING
At the core of its meaning, consent is about permission or an agreement to give and take something. When we use the word “consent,” we often use it in a sexual context because when someone is raped, permission has not been given, and something incredibly personal has been taken.
My goal is to protect my children, but I also have a responsibility to send them into the world with respect for all bodies and an understanding of how consent works and why it is important. The nuances of communicating our wants and then hearing the response or seeing it in a person’s body language during nonsexual situations are lessons we can teach our kids now so that later, when the stakes are higher, they already have the tools to build safe sexual relationships.
I was in the kitchen one evening and could hear my kids trading Pokémon cards. My 9-year-old daughter asked her 6-year-old brother if he would give up one of his cards for one she was offering. He hesitated and told her he wasn’t sure. She tried again. He considered but was reluctant. She tried to negotiate. He said no. She continued to offer him cards he might like, but he clearly didn’t want to trade. She was badgering him. I knew it was making him uncomfortable because he wanted to please her, but he didn’t want to say yes; he was saying no but, in my daughter’s opinion, not enthusiastically enough.AD
The situation was making me uncomfortable, too, so I stepped in. I praised my son for using his voice to communicate what he didn’t want. I told my daughter that she needed to walk away from the situation. He was telling her and showing her that he didn’t want to trade. I explained that her desires should never be forced onto someone else.
I reminded my daughter of the phrase “You asked, I/she/he/they answered.” This is meant to eliminate nagging when my kids want me to change my mind, and it helps me teach them that they can’t always get what they want. The phrase is a lesson in consent. “You asked for the card, he said no.”
Lexx Brown-James, a licensed marriage and family therapist, certified sex educator and author of“These are My Eyes, This is My Nose, This is My Vulva, These are My Toes,” is also a parent navigating these issues. “When we teach consent to our children — across the gender spectrum — we also have to teach and model respect, [but] respect has changed so much even throughout my own lifetime,” she says. Brown-James grew up in the South and was taught to obey authority without question, but she points out that the definition of respect has changed. It can be a shared goal of treating others how we would want to be treated, no matter the age or power difference, she says.
Brown-James says it is important to empower our children to say yes as well as no, and to make them feel like they will be heard. But kids can’t be in control all of the time, so it’s necessary for adults to model informed consent. Brown-James gives the example of a child going to the dentist. It’s scary, and a child may not want to go, but healthy teeth are important. She suggests giving power to a child’s voice even in those situations. Let them choose the side of the mouth the dentist can look at first. Allow the child to say when they need a break. And be sure you or the dentist check in to see how the child is doing.AD
Consent also needs to be visible and identified in everyday acts. Asking kids if we can hug them, tickle them or take a bite of their food are great ways to model patterns of asking before taking and then showing them that their voice has power. Notice how none of the situations discussed so far have anything to do with sex? This is important.
I emphasize “no means no” and “stop means stop” with my kids, but it’s not always easy. If something hurts or makes us uncomfortable, telling someone to stop is still confrontational. We may want to keep the peace rather than face another person’s negative reactions. Although I hope my kids will speak up for themselves, I also want them to be able to interpret the other side of the no. If they are ever in a situation where consent is not clear through words, I want my kids to learn how to read body language so they can safely stop an action that is making someone uncomfortable.
Joe Navarro, 25-year FBI veteran and author of “What Every Body is Saying” and “Louder Than Words,” writes that parents should start to teach about body language as soon as their children can understand simple instructions. He emphasizes that all nonverbal communication has meaning and that body language conveys our emotions. Navarro encourages parents to remind children that learning to read body language is a way to make people comfortable.AD
But what happens when consent is given, but with hesitation? Not all consent is enthusiastic, so Brown-James refers back to teaching kids how to check in. Kids provide plenty of teachable moments for this when they want to do something but are nervous. Brown-James uses an example of her daughter wanting to pet a dog but feeling anxious. She said yes, but her body language did not convey excitement. By using a slow, check-in-as-you-go approach, Brown-James’s daughter got close to the dog, decided where and when she wanted to pet the dog, then finally touched the dog and was ecstatic. With each step, Brown-James asked whether her daughter felt okay.
The work and mindfulness necessary to teach these nuances are worth the initial stumbling points or emotional labor involved. Rape culture will not improve with a one-time talk at puberty. A foundation of empowerment, respect and thoughtfulness for others needs to be put in place early so kids’ intuition can guide them, whether because someone has touched them inappropriately or because they are navigating a new physical relationship as a teen.
Before our kids become teenagers, though, they need the skills to say no for themselves and for others if a situation doesn’t feel right. Deliberate, ongoing and forward-thinking conversations about consent in nonsexual situations will help them navigate higher-stakes sexual decisions when they are older.AD
Amber Leventry is a writer and advocate who lives in Vermont. They run Family Rhetoric by Amber Leventry, a Facebook page devoted to advocating for LGBTQ families one story at a time. Follow them on Twitter and Instagram@amberleventry.
lookingforthelight.blog 