Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

10 tips for cultivating creativity in your kids

IDEAS.TED.COM

Mar 31, 2020 / Mitch Resnick

Turns out, it’s less about “teaching” creativity to children — and more about creating a fertile environment in which their creativity will take root, grow and flourish. Researcher Mitch Resnick, director of the Lifelong Kindergarten Group at MIT, explains how we can do this.

There’s a common misconception that the best way to encourage children’s creativity is simply to get out of the way and let them be creative. Although it’s certainly true that children are naturally curious and inquisitive, they need support to develop their creative capacities and reach their full creative potential. Supporting children’s development is always a balancing act: how much structure, how much freedom; when to step in, when to step back; when to show, when to tell, when to ask, when to listen.

In putting together this list, I am combining tips for parents and teachers, because I think the core issues for cultivating creativity are the same, whether you’re in the home or in the classroom. The key challenge is not how to “teach” creativity to children, but rather how to create a fertile environment in which their creativity will take root, grow, and flourish.

The list is organized around the five components of what I call the Creative Learning Spiral, a process that encourages children to imagine what they want to do, create projects through playing with tools and materials, share ideas and creations with others, and reflect on their experiences.

For each of these five components, I’ve suggested two tips. However, these tips are just a very small subset of all of the things you might ask and do to cultivate children’s creativity. View them as a representative sample, and come up with more of your own.

IMAGINE

1. Show examples to spark ideas

A blank page, a blank canvas, and a blank screen can be intimidating. A collection of examples can help spark the imagination. When we run Scratchworkshops, we always start by showing sample projects — to give a sense of what’s possible (inspirational projects) and to provide ideas on how to get started (starter projects). We show a diverse range of projects, in hopes of connecting with the interests and passions of workshop participants.

Of course, there’s a risk that children will simply mimic or copy the examples that they see. That’s OK as a start, but only as a start. Encourage them to change or modify the examples. Suggest that they insert their own voice or add their own personal touch. What might they do differently? How can they add their own style, connect to their own interests? How can they make it their own?

2. Encourage messing around

Most people assume that imagination takes place in the head, but the hands are just as important. To help children generate ideas for projects, we often encourage them to start messing around with materials. As children play with LEGO bricks or tinker with craft materials, new ideas emerge. What started as an aimless activity becomes the beginning of an extended project.

We’ll sometimes organize mini hands-on activities to get children started. For example, we’ll ask children to put a few LEGO bricks together, then pass the structure to a friend to add a few more, then continue back and forth. After a few iterations, children often have new ideas for things they want to build.

CREATE

3. Provide a wide variety of materials

Children are deeply influenced by the toys, tools and materials in the world around them. To engage children in creative activities, make sure they have access to a broad diversity of materials for drawing, building and crafting. New technologies, like robotics kits and 3-D printers, can expand the range of what children create, but don’t overlook traditional materials. A Computer Clubhouse coordinator was embarrassed to admit to me that her members were making their own dolls with “nylons, newspapers, and bird seed,” without any advanced technology, but I thought their projects were great.

Different materials are good for different things. LEGO bricks and popsicle sticks are good for making skeletons, felt and fabric are good for making skins, and Scratch is good for making things that move and interact. Pens and markers are good for drawing, and glue guns and duct tape are good for holding things together. The greater the diversity of materials, the greater the opportunity for creative projects.

4. Embrace all types of making

Different children are interested in different types of making. Some enjoy making houses and castles with LEGO bricks. Some enjoy making games and animations with Scratch. Others enjoy making jewelry or soapbox race cars or desserts—or miniature golf courses.

Writing a poem or a short story is a type of making, too. Children can learn about the creative design process through all of these activities. Help children find the type of making that resonates for them. Even better: Encourage children to engage in multiple types of making. That way, they’ll get an even deeper understanding of the creative design process.

PLAY

5. Emphasize process, not product

Many of the best learning experiences happen when people are actively engaged in making things, but that doesn’t mean we should put all our attention on the things that are made. Even more important is the process through which things are made.

As children work on projects, highlight the process, not just the final product. Ask children about their strategies and their sources of inspiration. Encourage experimentation by honoring failed experiments as much as successful ones. Allocate times for children to share the intermediate stages of their projects and discuss what they plan to do next and why.

6. Extend time for projects

It takes time for children to work on creative projects, especially if they’re constantly tinkering, experimenting and exploring new ideas (as we hope they will). Trying to squeeze projects into the constraints of a standard 50-minute school period — or even a few 50-minute periods over the course of a week — undermines the whole idea of working on projects. It discourages risk taking and experimentation, and it puts a priority on efficiently getting to the “right” answer within the allotted time. For an incremental change, schedule double periods for projects. For a more dramatic change, set aside particular days or weeks (or months) when students work on nothing but projects in school.

SHARE

7. Play the role of matchmaker

Many children want to share ideas and collaborate on projects, but they’re not sure how. You can play the role of matchmaker, helping children find others to work with. In the Scratch online community, we have organized month-long Collab Camps to help Scratchers find others to work with — and also to learn strategies for collaborating effectively.

8. Get involved as a collaborator

Parents and mentors sometimes get too involved in children’s creative projects, telling children what to do or grabbing the keyboard to show them how to fix a problem; other parents and mentors don’t get involved at all. There is a sweet spot in between, where adults and children form true collaborations on projects. When both sides are committed to working together, everyone has a lot to gain.

A great example is Ricarose Roque’s Family Creative Learning initiative, in which parents and children work together on projects at local community centers over five sessions. By the end of the experience, parents and children have new respect for one another’s abilities, and relationships are strengthened.

REFLECT

9. Ask (authentic) questions

It’s great for children to immerse themselves in projects, but it’s also important for them to step back to reflect on what’s happening. You can encourage children to reflect by asking them questions about their projects. I often start by asking: “How did you come up with the idea for this project?” It’s an authentic question: I really want to know! The question prompts them to reflect on what motivated and inspired them.

Another of my favorite questions: “What’s been most surprising to you?” This question pushes them away from just describing the project and toward reflecting on their experience. If something goes wrong with a project, I’ll often ask: “What did you want it to do?” In describing what they were trying to do, they often recognize where they went wrong, without any further input from me.

10. Share your own reflections

Most parents and teachers are reluctant to talk with children about their own thinking processes. Perhaps they don’t want to expose that they’re sometimes confused or unsure in their thinking. But talking with children about your own thinking process is the best gift you could give them.

It’s important for children to know that thinking is hard work for everyone—for adults as well as children. And it’s useful for children to hear your strategies for working on projects and thinking through problems. By hearing your reflections, children will be more open to reflecting on their own thinking, and they’ll have a better model of how to do it. Imagine the children in your life as creative thinking apprentices; you’re helping them learn to become creative thinkers by demonstrating and discussing how you do it.

This article was originally published on the MIT Press Reader site.

Watch Mitch Resnick’s TED Talk here:https://embed.ted.com/talks/mitch_resnick_let_s_teach_kids_to_code

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Mitch Resnick is professor of learning research at the MIT Media Lab. His research group develops the Scratch programming software and online community, the world’s largest coding platform for kids. He has worked closely with the LEGO company on educational ideas and products, such as the LEGO Mindstorms robotics kits, and he co-founded the Computer Clubhouse project, an international network of after-school learning centers for youth from low-income communities. He is the author of “Lifelong Kindergarten,” from which this article is adapted.

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

Sleep: What is the sweet spot? — Guest Blogger Soul Script

The reality is when you’re in your optimal sleep groove, pretty much everything else in life corrects itself. How much is best? Well, it depends on the individual. Too much or too little sleep has been linked to impaired brain function. Older adults who consistently get 6 to 8 hours of sleep per night delay […]

Sleep: What is the sweet spot? — Soul Script
Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

Why You Think You’re Right-Even If You’re Wrong

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

Could the ways you cope with stress be undermining you? Here are healthier ways to respond

IDEAS.TED.COM

Sep 7, 2021 /

Good Anxiety is the title of the new book from NYU neuroscientist Wendy Suzuki PhD — but it’s one that will surprise those of us who think of anxiety as strictly bad news. However, through her work, Suzuki has come to find, as she writes, that “anxiety can shift from something we try to avoid and get rid of to something that is both informative and beneficial.”

The key is taking the information that your anxiety is telling you and using it to live in ways that support your well-being. Below, she explains how to evaluate the ways you cope with stress and change them for the better.

In the face of stressors and the anxiety they often trigger, we all develop coping strategies to manage and get ourselves back on track. These go-to behaviors or thought processes often function automatically, beneath our conscious awareness, and many were developed when we were younger and less mindful.

We developed these coping mechanisms to self-soothe or avoid uncomfortable feelings. But when these coping mechanisms stop working to manage stress, they tend to make matters worse, exacerbating our anxiety and undermining our belief that we are in control of our lives.

If you cope in ways that are productive for you, then your anxiety is probably under control. But if you cope in ways that undermine your health, job, safety or relationships, it may be time to consider your options.

What’s more, our coping strategies often reflect our relationship to anxiety.If you cope in ways that are productive for you, then you probably have your anxiety under control. If you cope with stress in ways that undermine your health, job, safety or relationships, it may be time to consider your options.

In general, coping mechanisms are considered to be either adaptive (good at helping us manage the stress) or maladaptive (bad for us because they cause other damage, through avoiding a problem that then gets bigger or giving us another problem, as with alcohol dependence or abuse). When the feelings underneath these behaviors are left untouched or unprocessed, those components of anxiety will grow and stay stuck. Then our negative coping behaviors only end up reinforcing our inability to manage or regulate our feelings.

Take Liza, a hard-driving career woman. A graduate of a top-ranked business school, she dove into a career in financial services and is well liked and well respected by colleagues. But suddenly she’s 41 with no life outside of work. She’s a workaholic, and up until now all of this dedication and motivation to succeed has paid dividends to her bank account and sense of self-worth.

But lately she goes home to her apartment feeling totally burned out. She drinks three to four glasses of wine to relax and fall asleep. Her alarm gets her up at 5AM so she can go for a run and make it to the office by 7AM. This is her cycle and it has worked for her for years, but not anymore. Liza now wakes up already feeling depleted. She is lonely, plagued with self-doubt, and beginning to question what is driving her so hard.

Then, if you respond by isolating yourself, you remove the opportunity for encouragement and support from your social relationships and take away a vital bad-anxiety buffer.

To better understand how this happens, it can help to take a look at what is actually happening in the body when bad anxiety takes the wheel. In short:

• When your brain-body is under chronic strain from anxiety, your capacity to manage emotions becomes downregulated — less effective at responding to internal or external stimuli. You become highly sensitive to stress of any kind and can begin to feel self-doubts and a loss of confidence.

• Next, when your body is depleted and doesn’t get enough restorative time and rest, it will not be able to kick up your motivation, the predominant emotion of a positive mindset. This inability to reset further erodes the capacity to maintain emotion regulation.

• Then, if you respond by isolating yourself, you remove the opportunity for encouragement and support from your social relationships and thereby take away a vital bad-anxiety buffer.

• Further, if you look to drugs or alcohol for relief, you may unintentionally exacerbate your anxiety once the “high” has passed. Indeed, drugs and alcohol act as a depressant on the nervous system. They also interfere with the brain-body’s processing of dopamine and serotonin, giving you a false sense of relief from anxiety.

It is entirely possible to change your current negative ways of coping with anxiety and also their underlying effects on your brain and body.

These responses represent a downregulation in functioning of various neural pathways of the brain-body. Yet for all these negative coping strategies and their drawbacks, a silver lining can emerge: It is entirely possible to change your current negative ways of coping with anxiety and also their underlying effects on your brain-body.

Restoring emotion regulation requires energy, curiosity and recognizing that you have a choice. But it is absolutely possible for any of us to learn to recognize signs of our own physical depletion and/or emotional dysregulation and begin to make changes. This is the essence of how using good anxiety works.

When you are anxious or upset what do you typically do to calm yourself? Without overthinking, read through the following common negative coping techniques. Which are familiar to you?

Negative Ways to Cope

• Use or abuse alcohol or drugs
• Act violently toward others
• Act out or misbehave on purpose
• Avoid conflict
• Rationalize or blame others for your problems
• Deny there is a problem
• Repress or forget what has happened
• Behave like someone you are not
• Disassociate yourself from a situation
• Exhibit controlling behavior
• Become a workaholic
• Isolate yourself and withdraw from activities and others
• Feel like you need to control or manipulate others
• Refuse to communicate
• Fantasize regularly
• Catastrophize
• Help others over helping yourself

Next, go through the list of positive coping techniques — these are beneficial ways of managing anxiety.

Positive Ways to Cope

Name your feelings, positive or negative
Control your anger
• Practice self-reflection
• Seek support from friends and family
• Communicate or talk about your feelings
• Exercise
• Participate in hobbies and/or sports
• Spend time outdoors
• Consider a situation from another point of view
Remain flexible and open to new ways of thinking
Keep a journal or engage in another form of conscious self-reflection
• Spend quality time with family, partner, friends
• Use positive self-talk and affirmations
• Meditate or pray
• Clean or organize your workspace or home
• Seek support from a health professional when you need it
• Playing or being with a pet or children

Without judging yourself, ask yourself this: What, if any, of your go-to ways of coping with stress are helping you? Are any hindering you, or having unwanted secondary effects? Also, which of these coping strategies could you do more of?

The more you stay unaware of how your coping mechanisms are no longer benefiting you or giving you the mental break you need, the more intense your bad anxiety will be.

It’s important to be aware of how we respond to stress and feelings of anxiety. The use of more than two or three negative coping strategies can be an indication of being stuck in bad anxiety; on the other hand, use of positive coping strategies shows a tolerance of stress and flexibility around emotions.

Our relationship with anxiety likely changes over time, as does our ability to process it, so our coping strategies necessarily have to be updated and ones that are maladaptive need to be addressed. And sometimes this process requires some work.

The more you stay unaware of how your coping mechanisms are no longer benefiting you or giving you the mental break you need, the more intense your bad anxiety will be and the more entrenched your negative coping strategies will become. But once you see your situation for what it truly is — a case of an overdue update to your coping strategies — you’ll be able to start changing aspects of your situation and orient yourself to a more satisfying life.

Excerpted from the new book Good Anxiety: Harnessing the Power of the Most Misunderstood Emotion by Wendy Suzuki PhD with Billie Fitzpatrick. Copyright © 2021 by Wendy Suzuki PhD. Reprinted by permission of Atria Books, a Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

Watch Dr. Wendy Suzuki’s TED Talk about the transformative power of exercise here: 

 

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

Happy Hanukkah

I pray your heart and home are filled with light, joy, and love this holiday season.

Have a blessed Hanukkah.

Melinda

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

How To Stop Languishing And Start Finding Flow

Celebrate Life · Fun

Today in History November 28, 2021

Welcome to the Weekend Edition of Today in History. I’m so glad you’re enjoying the post. Have an awesome weekend.

1942

Jimi Hendrix born

Guitar legend Jimi Hendrix is born in Seattle. Hendrix grew up playing guitar, imitating blues greats like Muddy Waters as well as early rockers. He joined the army in 1959 and became a paratrooper but was honorably discharged in 1961 after an injury that exempted him from duty …read more

1940

Bruce Lee born

On November 27, 1940, the actor and martial-arts expert Bruce Lee is born in San Francisco, California. In his all-too-brief career, Lee became a film star in Asia and, later, a pop-culture icon in America. Lee was born while his father, a Chinese opera star, was on tour in …read more

1703

Freak storm dissipates over England

On November 27, 1703, an unusual storm system finally dissipates over England after wreaking havoc on the country for nearly two weeks. Featuring hurricane strength winds, the storm killed somewhere between 10,000 and 30,000 people. Hundreds of Royal Navy ships were lost to the …read more

Enjoy your day! 

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

What Really Matters in Life? — Guest Blogger Don’t Lose Hope

Trauma causes us to question our beliefs. Now there’s sand beneath our feet, not the solid ground we thought. When this happens in our life, we can feel destabilized. Everything’s been stripped away, nothing’s certain any more. It’s at desperate times like these when the scales fall from our eyes … that we learn important […]

What Really Matters in Life? — Don’t Lose Hope
Celebrate Life · Fun

Fun Facts That Will Amaze You

I’m so glad you are enjoying this weekend tradition of Fun Facts. I learn something new each week, even if it’s weird. I love hearing your comments! 

 

Charles Darwin invented the modern office chair when he added wheels to his own chair, so he could move around his office easier

The term “coccyx” (also known as your tailbone) is derived from the Greek word “cuckoo” (“kokkux”) because the curved shape of the tailbone resembles the bird’s beak.

The most popular item at Walmart is bananas. They sell more bananas than any other single item they have in stock.

Canadians eat more macaroni and cheese than any other nation in the world.

A dolphin’s blowhole is an evolved nose that has moved upward to the top of its head.

Enjoy the humor and try not to laugh too hard. 

Melinda

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

4 Signs You Should Pay A Visit To A Medical Professional

Visiting your doctor is something that’s encouraged that you do every now and then, but is there really a need for it? Well, depending on the individual, you might have to either visit frequently or not at all. Your needs are most important, but it’s encouraged that you make sure you’ve had your health checked from time to time; and that you make time for the check-up when possible. It generally doesn’t take long to have your health checked, so even if you go once every few years, you can at least relax knowing you’re in good health.

Photo by Gustavo Fring on Pexels.com

It’s been a while

If you can’t remember the last time you visited a medical professional, that should be a good sign that you need to pay them a visit. It’s recommended that you make an attempt to visit at least every 2 years, or less depending on your health. If you’ve been perfectly healthy, some find it acceptable to only visit once every 5 years. In any case, if you’re concerned about your health since your last visit, you should make sure you schedule an appointment when you next have time.

You have persistent issues

You don’t have to call your doctor over every cough or sneeze, but when you’re having repeating conditions that don’t seem to stop – that’s when it should be concerning. There’s nothing wrong with having a common cough, it can be that and nothing else. If you’ve had a cough on and off for a month; you should consider contacting your doctor about it. Even if it’s just a phone call, giving yourself a moment to talk about it with a professional could give you some insight into it.

These problems won’t go away on their own, and if you leave them hoping that they will – they could get worse. A simple cough could turn into an infection, for which you’ll need antibiotics that your doctor can prescribe.

Embarrassing conditions

If there are any conditions you’ve noticed but are too embarrassed to do anything about, you should try to see a doctor regardless. A lot of medical professionals exercise discretion. For example, a sexual health clinic would make sure your symptoms or conditions are treated professionally and discretely. No matter the concern you have, embarrassing or not, you should make sure it gets checked.

Questions about medication

If you’ve recently considered taking on a new medication and you have pre-existing conditions or prescriptions, you should speak to your doctor about it. There are a lot of pills and capsules that will have negative effects on your health if the body is already experiencing something it clashes with. Go to your doctor with the new medication so that they can figure out whether or not it’s something you should take. If it does seem to cause problems with the pills you’re already taking, your doctor might prescribe alternatives that provide the same effect. In any case, you should leave it up to the medical professionals.

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun

#Weekend Music Share *Disco Favorite Disco Duck!

 

I’m so glad you’ve joined me this week for another edition of Weekend Music Share.

 

 



Welcome back to Weekend Music Share; the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the ‘Weekend Music Share‘ banner in your post, and don’t forget to use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Just Pondering

Think back to last year. What are some things that seemed so important then that don’t matter at all now?

Melinda

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

Live Well And Have A Healthy Life

Whether we like it or not, we’re all going to get older – it’s an inevitability. What isn’t an inevitability, however, are the sicknesses, aches and pains, and loss of memory that is often seen as part and parcel of getting old. 

Photo by Gary Barnes on Pexels.com

Although none of us can ever totally prevent the possibility of ill health, there are so many things we can all do to lower our personal risks and age as well as possible. Here are a few of the most effective:

Eat and drink well

It seems like this is always the advice, but the fact of the matter is that eating a healthy diet and drinking plenty of water while moderating your alcohol intake is the most important factor in your present and future health.

Eating a balanced diet that is rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and oily fish will ensure that you get all the vitamins and minerals you need to protect your health and keep your brain firing on all cylinders.

Do puzzles
Puzzles like crosswords and sudoku and memory games for seniors are not only a  lot of fun, but they also help to keep your mind active. The more you use your brain on a daily basis, the fear brain cells you will lose as you age and the less likely you will be to develop issues like Alzheimer’s.

Obviously, when it comes to your health there are no guarantees, but a daily challenge to the brain could work wonders.

Take care of your teeth

You only get one set of adult teeth, so it’s really important that you do whatever you can to take care of them. As a minimum, you should brush and floss daily and see your dentist at regular intervals throughout the year. Doing this will not only help to protect against tooth loss and the wearing of dentures but since gum disease has been linked to illnesses such as diabetes, heart disease, and stroke, it could also help to prevent serious health issues too.

Photo by Maksim Goncharenok on Pexels.com

Pixabay – CCO Licence

Be active

Ideally, if you want to age well, you should be active every single day of your life. Whether it’s going for a brisk walk after dinner or hitting the gym for a tough workout, you need to keep moving if you want to maintain bone density, prevent strokes, diabetes, and heart disease and maintain good mental health. Active seniors are also less likely to have fallen, so although you may not be a senior now, you need to put the work in so that when you are older, you’re better able to cope and your quality of life is vastly improved.

Schedule regular health appointments

Perhaps most importantly of all, if you want to age well, you should make an effort to look after your health by having regular physical exams, hearing tests, and preventative treatments. If you avoid healthcare professionals like the plague, you’re less likely to catch issues early before they become a bigger problem.

Live well and look after yourself now and you can expect to live well and have a great life as you get older!

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Happy Thanksgiving

Why do Americans celebrate Thanksgiving?

Thanksgiving started with our ancestors, the English pilgrims in 1621 as a festival to give thanks for the plentiful crops and successful year. Many countries today have Thanksgiving celebrations including, Canada, Germany and Korea.  Thanksgiving is a time of gratitude. 

What we know today as American Thanksgiving was first held in 1621 by the English pilgrims who were celebrating their first successful harvest. They held the occasion to thank God for the great harvest in the preceding year. The 16th president of the US, Abraham Lincoln, declared the event a national holiday in America in 1863 during the American civil war. He declared that the fourth Thursday of November should be set apart to give thanks to God in prayer. Now, Americans observe Thanksgiving to celebrate good health, blessings in their family, and prosperity. On this day, families come together and prepare different meals with turkey meat being a major part of the meal.

You are in my thoughts this Thanksgiving Holiday. You’ve shared your stories, pain, growth and comments with me this past year, I’m so thankful. My life would not be as full without you in it and that would be a shame.

Happy Thanksgiving

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun

Wordless Wednesday*Yellow and Red Roses

Thanks for stopping by today, I appreciate your comments each week.

These beautiful flowers were for my anniversary the other day. They also smell good and are ethically grown.

Have a great day! 

Melinda

 

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Everyday Magic

 

Bella and Grace by Stampington

The most significant gifts are the small ones most easily overlooked. Small everyday blessings: woods, health, music, laughter, memories, books, family, friends, second chances, warm fireplaces, and all the footprints scattered throughout our days

 

-Sue Monk Kidd

 

Enjoy your day! 

 Melinda

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

What Not To Do When A Friend Is In Need

A good friend is there to offer a shoulder to cry on when it’s needed. Indeed, simply being there for a friend when they come to you with a problem can, in and of itself, be helpful to them. However, there are correct and incorrect ways to respond to problems. It doesn’t mean that the solution is always the same, but that there are definite ways you can worsen the situation before you improve it. Before you jump to help that friend, consider looking at the way that you respond to problems.

Photo by Toa Heftiba u015einca on Pexels.com

One of the most frustrating things you can do to someone who is expressing their emotions about any given experience is rush past those emotions to try and promote a solution as quickly as possible  If someone is struggling with their mental health, the very first thing you should do is listen to them, take in their emotional response, and validate it. You might want to get to the solutions that can help them in no time, flat, but it’s not helping them to neglect their feelings.

Empathizing with your friend can be a good thing. It can help you develop some sense of shared perspective that can make it a little easier for them to open up about their problems. However, if you’re going to say something like this, you need to know the difference between empathy and compassion. Empathy is a quick reaction to a situation or emotional state that we see and can understand. Compassion is the deliberate attempt to understand their feelings and how they’re reacting to that situation or state. Don’t go off into stories about your own similar experiences or downplay their emotional response by stating that it affected you in a different and less harmful way. Even if you don’t mean to, you’re making it harder for them to be honest about their own feelings.

If you are a great problem solver and you do know a very concrete suggestion that will help them, you can share it. Make sure they’ve had the time to express their feelings and what they want to say, first. However, if you don’t have any great ideas for advice, then don’t feel like that you have to share them. Unsolicited advice can be a risky thing to give and that’s especially so if you don’t know what kind of advice to give.

Get an idea of “brutal honesty” out of your head. A lot of people go in with that mindset, but often what they get is brutality, not honesty. Even if you believe that your friend’s own mistakes led them to the predicament that they are in, who does it help to say as much? If you judge them when they are at their most vulnerable, that is what they will remember and, as a result, they’re less likely to come to you in the future. Check to make sure you’re not judgemental when trying to be helpful.

If your friend hasn’t opened up to you in such a way before then they can feel a little awkward and vulnerable about the way they have expressed themselves. You can reassure them that you are there to support them and that you are open to that kind of relationship by checking up on them and asking them how they are doing with the problem the next day. It shows that you’re genuinely interested in their wellbeing and can alleviate any feelings of guilt they might have about “burdening” you with their problems.

If you do think that you can play an active role in helping them with their problems, then that’s great. Rather than rushing to do it yourself, however, you should ask how you can support them. They might just want someone to listen to them, they might want someone to offer advice, or they might be open to more practical and hands-on assistance. The words “what can I do to help?” can be a very important step in making sure you’re not stepping on any toes.

Again, that you’re willing to listen to and help a friend is a great thing, by itself. But if you want to make sure that you are, indeed, being on the helpful side, you need to consider the above mistakes that you might be making.

This a collaborative post.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Just Pondering

What is you favorite tea?

How long do you steep?

I’m getting my tea grove going now that the temps have cooled down. 

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

7 Ways of Dealing with the Winter Blues — Guest Blogger Coaching Skills International

Winter is a hard time for many of us. The days are dark and cold and the nights are long. No wonder we feel down and have to fight to change our mood. If this describes you, then maybe try the following: 1. Stay active – Make sure you build exercise into your life. 2. […]

7 Ways of Dealing with the Winter Blues — Coaching Skills International
Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Happy Anniversary Honey

Nineteen years ago we said I do in a small chapel in the snowy mountains. It was not our first but knew it was our forever. We had met just 11 months earlier, at New Years Eve party and from the beginning knew we were meant to be together.

We’ve been down many roads in our 20 years together but we’ve always gone down them side by side. 

Happy Anniversary, Honey. I love you. 

Your Wife

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun

Christmas Decorating

This is a night time view in the fireplace mantle. It’s our first year to decorate it and we like how it turned out.

 

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Everyday Magic

 

Bella and Grace by Stampington

Close your eyes and think of the word “whimsy“.

What comes to mind?

 

Enjoy your day! 

 Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun

Today in History November 21, 2021

Welcome to the Weekend Edition of Today in History. I’m so glad you’re enjoying the post. Have an awesome weekend.

1980

Millions tune in to find out who shot J.R.

On November 21, 1980, 350 million people around the world tune in to television’s popular primetime drama “Dallas” to find out who shot J.R. Ewing, the character fans loved to hate. J.R. had been shot on the season-ending episode the previous March 21, which now stands as one of television’s most famous cliffhangers. The plot twist inspired widespread media coverage and left America wondering “Who shot J.R.?” for the next eight months. The November 21 episode solved the mystery, identifying Kristin Shepard, J.R.’s wife’s sister and his former mistress, as the culprit.

1877

Thomas Edison announces his invention of the phonograph

Thomas Edison announces his invention of the phonograph, a way to record and play back sound. Edison stumbled on one of his great inventions—the phonograph—while working on a way to record telephone communication at his laboratory in Menlo Park, New Jersey. His work led him to …read more

1976

“Rocky” opens in theaters

On November 21, 1976, Rocky, starring Sylvester Stallone as the underdog prizefighter Rocky Balboa, debuts in New York City. The movie, which opened in theaters across the United States on December 3, 1976, was a huge box-office hit and received 10 Academy Award nominations, …read more

1934

Ella Fitzgerald wins Amateur Night at Harlem’s Apollo Theater

On the evening of November 21, 1934, a young and gangly would-be dancer took to the stage of Harlem’s Apollo Theater to participate in a harrowing tradition known as Amateur Night. Finding herself onstage as a result of pure chance after her name was drawn out of a hat, the …read more

1783

Men fly over Paris in hot air balloon

French physician Jean-François Pilatre de Rozier and François Laurent, the marquis d’ Arlandes, make the first untethered hot-air balloon flight, flying 5.5 miles over Paris in about 25 minutes. Their cloth balloon was crafted by French paper-making brothers Jacques-Étienne and …read more

Enjoy your day! 

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

A Moment of Joy — Guest Blogger Happy Healthy Me – a Journey

‘Look for the small things in life to bring joy’ – Confucius Joy! Just the word makes me feel happy! But did you know that experiencing moments of joy helps you think more clearly and helps you navigate through the difficult times? It’s actually a scientific fact! When you experience a moment of joy, your […]

A Moment of Joy — Happy Healthy Me – a Journey
Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

National Diabetes Month

 Did you know that one in five people with prediabetes in America don’t know they have it? 

 

November is National Diabetes Month, a time when communities across the country team up to bring attention to diabetes. This year’s focus is on prediabetes and preventing diabetes.

Prediabetes is a serious health condition where your blood sugar levels are higher than normal, but not high enough yet to be diagnosed as type 2 diabetes. According to the CDC, more than 1 in 3 U.S. adults have prediabetes—that’s 88 million people—but the majority of people don’t know they have it.

The good news is that by making small healthy lifestyle changes, it is possible to prevent type 2 diabetes and even reverse your prediabetes.

Here are some tips to help manage prediabetes and prevent diabetes.

  • Take small steps. Making changes to your lifestyle and daily habits can be hard, but you don’t have to change everything at once. It is okay to start small. Remember that setbacks are normal and do not mean you have failed—the key is to get back on track as soon as you can.
  • Move more. Limit time spent sitting and try to get at least 30 minutes of physical activity, 5 days a week. Start slowly by breaking it up throughout the day.
  • Choose healthier foods and drinks most of the time. Pick foods that are high in fiber and low in fat and sugar. Build a plate that includes a balance of vegetables, protein, and carbohydrates. Drink water instead of sweetened drinks.
  • Lose weight, track it, and keep it off. You may be able to prevent or delay diabetes by losing 5 to 7 percent of your starting weight.
  • Seek support. It is possible to reverse prediabetes. Making a plan, tracking your progress, and getting support from your health care professional and loved ones can help you make the necessary lifestyle changes.
  • Stay up to date on vaccinations. The COVID-19 (booster shot, if eligible) and flu vaccines are especially important for people who may be more likely to get very sick from COVID-19 or the flu, such as people with diabetes.

Resources for Patients with Prediabetes

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Be sure to stay on top of your health with regular check-ins with your doctor.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing

Mindfulness:Many people are alive but don’t touch the miracle of being alive — Guest Blogger Readers Choice

Mindfulness is the practice of bringing your attention to present moment experiences. It is actively paying attention to your thoughts, body sensations and mood in a non-judgmental way Mindfulness: Is noticing all that is going on both around you and within you, at the present moment. Enables one to become an expert in knowing oneself. […]

Mindfulness:Many people are alive but don’t touch the miracle of being alive — Readers choice