The word persistent has two meanings. Persistent as in great salesperson or persistent in that not give up on those who wronged me. I fit both and the second is not good when I’m wronged.
I’ve written several posts on my stay at UTSW Psych Hospital and my traumatic experience with one doctor. One day I found all of the doctor’s notes and almost had a coranary. I printed out 19 pages of notes and labs and then started marking all the half-truths, conversations that didn’t happen, and flat lies.
I was enraged! These notes were all negative toward me, I’ve never had a doctor act like this. These notes go on my medical records and all I wanted to do was attack him at all levels.
No one would validate my concerns, not even a blah blah We are aware of your concerns, that have sattified me. I did receive a letter about how to change my medical notes. It’s not a correction to the notes, it’s an amendment. I thought about it for two days and decided that adding my note of complaints would not help me and possibly hurt me down the road.
I also received a letter from Legal to acknowledge my concerns. I filed two complaints with the Texas Medical Board.
I’ve sent a few emails about my concerns but received no feedback. While resting today I decided the anger has to go for me to move on.
Getting letters from Medical Records and the Legal Dept. gave me what I needed, to validate my concerns. I realized it’s time to move beyond anger.
I felt lighter, not happy yet but the block around my ankle had been cut off.
Now comes the difficult process! It requires a clear picture in your head of where you’re going.
Here’s my plan
Grieve the pain I felt after being traumatized.
Acknowledge that I made the best decision by moving forward.
Prepare how you’re going to respond if anger creeps in.
Break down the tasks that need attention and accomplish at least one task a day.
Start to look for a new house.
Catch up on appointments I’ve been putting off.
I will keep looking for positive reinforcement.
Challenges
Only drive 3-5 miles from the house.
Have to check with my husband to see if the appointment date works for him, in case he has to drive me.
Cognitive issues
Agoraphobia
I dislike his huge truck. It’s hard to park if anyone is next to me, often causing me to park far from the building entrance. The guard rails on truck are not ergo and it takes precision to get in.
Spend less time on the computer.
I’m not a doctor as you know but at 60 years old, I’ve been around the block before and have a few ideas.
There will be ups and downs but I’m confident in success.
What do you do to move past anger?
Melinda
References:
https://academic.oup.com/book/25080/chapter-abstract/189217644?redirectedFrom=fulltext
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lookingforthelight.blog 
I hear you… for me, I woke up one day and realized they weren’t worth the energy anymore. I realized I have options now. I still have my moments here and there, but they don’t last long anymore. I just laugh at my thoughts like that now and they disappear with my feelings of anger.
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I’ve done good today except for falling hard in the shower. :)
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Hi Melinda, I once sent for medical records from a state facility that I had been held in for two weeks. I was hurt very badly by a patient, I was a complete victim, could have been killed, the notes read that I had ‘engaged’ in the physical altercation. As if though I took part in it. Yes I was very angry once I read that. I want to ask, *Why* the medical records matter? As for the anger that I deal with usually over repeated injustices, I still work at that. Ive also experienced invalidation in some private therapists offices. I wonder how those notes read.
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When a doctor visits you they write notes. The notes or labs, anything done is notated in the records. Your medical records can be important and notes that are so wrong. A doctor who requested your medical report might discriminate against you if they see really bad notes. I’ve decided to more forward.
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Thanks Melinda. I will do the same. Maybe it’s wise to limit the history that you give a doctor.
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I’m so sorry you had such a traumatic experience at the hospital Mel. It sounds like you’ve given a lot of thought to your plan for moving forward, and I hope you’ll be able to leave this painful experience behind in the days ahead. I noticed one of your action items is “start to look for a new house.” Are you guys moving to a different area or are you just moving to another place in the same general area? Wherever you’re moving to, I hope your search goes well. Take care of yourself! Hugs!
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We are moving within a circle of our house. I didn’t think it was possible to buy now but we can make it happen. Now it’s find one that’s new, probably won’t happen, or a newly refurnished. Most important is the neighbor and find a one story house. There aren’t many. It’s still something to have fun searching. :)
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That’s harsh, you shouldn’t have to deal with that…
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There are a lot of should in the world but life doesn’t work like that. This will make me stronger and looking forward not backwards. Have a great day. :)
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That’s definitely the best way… have a great day!
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