I’m Agoraphobic

My agoraphobia started a year or two before the pandemic. It was frustrating but my therapist helped on the journey. It started with intrusive thoughts that people were chasing me in their car and planning to hurt me by driving me off the road. These thoughts lasted for a long time. These are not dreams, they came during the day.

It’s possible the trigger was set off by me driving to a doctor I had seen for 15 years and got lost with no cell phone, I had left it at home. It was very stressful because I didn’t know the area well and had problems getting back to the freeway. Is this connected, I don’t know. 

Then ongoing dreams that centered around my car started. I couldn’t find the right key, I rented a car and when I looked for it I didn’t know how to find the car. I was carrying a huge keychain full of keys and I couldn’t find the right key and different dreams continued. The dreams came often in the beginning. The latest thought is someone is following me after going to the bank. 

I thought it might be Agoraphobia but thought it was someone who could not leave the house. When I started reading about Agoraphobia, I was shocked by the different types. I found my symptoms listed and now have an answer.

One treatment option is EMDR Sessions. It works for many people but some doctors do not recommend it for people with Bipolar Disorder. It doesn’t matter, I’m not having 20 treatments to see if it works. Life is too short.

For now, I only drive within a 3-4-mile radius of the house which makes me less independent. I don’t focus on Agoraphobia, it’s when I make plans to leave the house that the feelings kick in and dictate what I do next.

Melinda