Losing Weight Triggered Thoughts Of My Eating Disorder

I wrote about my weight loss journey in September 2023, the goal was to lose 40 pounds instead, I’ve lost 65 pounds which is underweight for me. Since I was in the hospital in December 2023, I’ve continued to lose weight without trying.

I eat 2-4 pieces of chocolate every day and eat a cupcake or a piece of cake each weekend, along with small meals but it doesn’t affect my weight. Right now, I only weigh 10 pounds more than in high school.

The real story is the high I felt by the low numbers and it brought up thoughts of my eating disorder. I no longer have Bulimia and am so glad. It is hard to explain the feeling but it was sheer excitement and total control.

People with Anorexia understand the feelings of control, and that may be why it’s hard to overcome Anorexia. I don’t understand the ends and outs of Anorexia but have read followers’ posts and it’s a hard battle.

I suffered from Bulimia into my 30s, and am so glad it doesn’t rule me anymore. It was a way to escape the abuse and be in control for once.

Melinda