Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Survivor · Trauma

How Does Domestic Violence Turn To Murder/Suicide?

Looking for the Light

 

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Last week a murder-suicide happened in the neighborhood, the house behind us. I was very ill and on pain meds, my husband shielded me from conversations with the Police and the family. I felt the pain of my father’s suicide but quickly focused on the kids in our house.  

The father had been released from jail for domestic violence, but he first stopped to buy a gun, then went home, killing his wife and himself in front of the kids.

My husband came upstairs saying two kids were downstairs, they thought the father killed their mother. I went down to get them something to drink and speak to them, nothing heavy, a half hug. The kids were 8,10,17 years old. My heart was breaking for them and their future pain. I offered some snacks and went back upstairs. By now there are 4 to 6 Police officers in the house. One said the  17-year-old ran out of the house when he heard the shot, and police were surrounding the house. The police knocked on the family’s door and he shot himself as they entered the house.

Both parents are dead. How do tell three kids their parents are dead. Your father killed your mother and then himself. Several officers were fighting back tears. I lost my breath thinking of the kid’s future. The girl called family members, and they were on the way to our house.

Once the family arrived, a few facts came out. The parents had been separated for some time. He was in jail for Domestic Violence. His mother bailed him out and he went straight home. She was helping a son she loved, chances are violence never crossed her mind.

The Police took the kids and family to the Children’s Advocacy Center. The center will start therapy and offer help from trained professionals.

After 11:00 a.m. two guys looking professional were talking to a neighbor. I went over to see if I could help. I didn’t know they were reporters. I shared how little I know. They wanted to do an interview, right or wrong I did. I could only say over and over, that my heart breaks for the three kids, they don’t understand, they’re in shock and they have no parents.

I ask God to carry the three kids in his hands, to help them through the shock, and to cradle them when they need you most. The traumatized kids will need help coping with the unbearable pain and need help working through trauma which can take years.

Xx  M

Repost from 2016.

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30 thoughts on “How Does Domestic Violence Turn To Murder/Suicide?”

  5. What a terrible experience for those kids, I feel so bad to know they lost both of the parents. Thankfully you were there to offer hugs and support, hopefully they will be ok with heir relatives. God bless those kids.

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    1. It turned bad in every way, extended family was in another country. I believe they stayed with a friend until family could get passports. I think of them often. There were three children, lives changed forever and unable to forget. Thanks for commented.

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  6. M, thanks for giving those children a hug, for being there for them, and simply for just being you. God placed you in their lives for a reason. I will pray for all of you, may God’s mercy rest your soul and those dear, innocent children.

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    1. Hi friend
      I’ve missed you, glad to see your back.I’ve faced many challenges but this was hard. I tried to hold back tears.I prayed in my head overtime I saw their sweet little eyes. I have not been able to get them off my mind. I pray God in time take lessen the grief and allow the kids normal lives as possible. I really worry about the two younger ones. The blessing is they have a close family unit close by. I don’t think I could have said anything else with breaking down.
      Thank for your kind words, it’s still so fresh on my mind.
      Have a great day.
      :)
      M

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          3. Love you girl. I’ll be out here later. I’m helping my step-daughter deal with her father’s death. So sad. I’ll share with you later. ☕️❤️☕️❤️☕️❤️☕️❤️☕️❤️

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  8. This is so horrible, M. We’ve been having a murder-suicide ( domestic violence) every couple of months in my town. I always hurt terribly for the kids- their lives changed for ever. I’m sorry you had to go through that, M. I’m sure it helped the kids having you offer that you did 💕

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    1. It’s really bad when this type of violence is happening more and more. I can’t get the kids off of my mind. They are blessed to have close family close by. I pray they continue therapy and help for years. At such an impressional age it is heart breaking.
      I hope your situation is much better and you have some piece.
      :)
      M

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