I’m glad you joined me on Wordless Wednesday and I hope to see you soon.
I shop at a store on Amazon and sometimes they run off-the-cuff crazy steals, I bought this ceramic vase for $5! The fake flowers cost more. I love the bright and dark orange color combination.
Melinda
The newsletter talks about how to vote, the players in Texas who are up for election, and additional resources. Sometimes these newsletters publish a link, not sure why I can see the content but WordPress turns it to a link. Please click on the link or copy in paste on your computer to read. This message is important to all Texans.
October 2024
We are less than one month out from General Election Day! It is critical that Texans get out and vote as policymakers elected in 2024 will make major decisions regarding individuals and families affected by mental health conditions. Furthermore, exercising your right to vote ensures representation, the individuals we elect will be our voice at the local, state, and federal levels. When you participate in elections, we hold our elected officials accountable for their actions and decisions. Additionally, voting has the ability to drive social change as voters have the opportunity to advocate for policy reform and issues that are important to us. Finally, voting promotes equality, providing an opportunity for all citizens to have a say in the decision-making process. Important Dates: General Election Day: Tuesday, November 5th, 2024 Early Voting: Monday, October 21st-Friday, November 1st, 2024 Last day counties can receive mail-in ballot requests: Friday, October 25th, 2024 Find out what’s on your personalized ballot by checking out Vote411.  Get involved & encourage others to do so too! The NAMI Texas team encourages you to check out NAMI National’s #Vote4MentalHealth campaign webpage where you can pledge to vote for mental health, learn more about why mental health is more than a single policy issue and several ways to get engaged. Furthermore, the campaign provides resources like finding your voting options, requesting an absentee ballot, and planning to vote. #Vote4MentalHealth Videos Check out this video that highlights the importance of voting in all elections, from those at the White House to local school board elections. Additionally, watch this educational video on how votes for education, economy, and healthcare all impact mental health! Please note: #Vote4MentalHealth is nonpartisan – the NAMI Alliance will never tell people what party or candidate to vote for; instead, it focuses on understanding how every person’s vote impacts mental health. NAMI Texas Voter Guide: Additionally, check out NAMI Texas’ General Election 2024 Voter Guides! The Policy Team has collected information from Texas candidates on various mental health topics. This guide can be used to help you gather information regarding where candidates stand on various mental health systems and what they hope to improve upon if they are elected. Please note, that all candidates were contacted and only those who responded are in the guides. Texas House of Representatives General Election Voter Guide Texas Senate General Election Voter Guide |
Let’s get out and vote!!!!!!! Our voice needs to be louder than ever if policy changes are going to happen.
Melinda
This request came from my husband, I was quite shocked considering he’s never sent a request. I can’t wait to see the video. Thanks, Honey.
This is a great song, and Keb Mo has a beautiful voice.
Keb’s personality shines through, and my husband says all of his music is like that. I’ll be checking out more of his music.
Melinda
Losing a baby is a very personal matter and one that we don’t often hear or talk about unless you’re close to someone who has experienced that loss. At 19 I had a miscarriage at 4-5 months along and my then-husband didn’t even acknowledge the child or the death, we never talked about the entire night it happened. Instead, he went out of town with the guys the next morning and there was no conversation when he returned. I was devastated, had no ride home, and didn’t have anyone to help me with the pain. I was in shock seeing the baby in the toilet at the hospital but I never grieved.
I can’t imagine the grief of carrying a baby close to term or full term and then watching them die, it has to be gutwrenching. There are many children born with diseases or a defect and they fight for their lives, but it was not to be. The overwhelming pain can only be felt by the parents who lost their baby. Think about the pain felt when the parents get home to see the baby’s nursery they planned so carefully without their baby.
These are my thoughts on what Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month is, let’s see the official meaning of the day.
In 1988, President Ronald Regan proclaimed October Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day is observed on October 15th each year and includes the International Wave of Light.
In the United States, 1 out of every 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage and 1 and every 160 pregnancies end in stillbirth. These numbers do not include infant death from preterm labor, diagnosis of life-limiting conditions, or SIDS.
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, observed every October, is dedicated to raising awareness about the grief and challenges faced by families who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, or the death of an infant. The month provides a platform for breaking the silence surrounding these often stigmatized and unspoken losses. Through various events, campaigns, and remembrance activities, it seeks to honor the lives lost, offer support to grieving parents, and educate the public on the impact of pregnancy and infant loss. It also encourages open conversations and fosters a sense of community among those affected.
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day is observed on October 15th each year. It is a day dedicated to honoring and remembering babies who have passed away due to miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death. Many people participate in the global “Wave of Light” by lighting candles at 7 PM in their local time zone to create a continuous wave of light across the world.
If you’ve lost a baby or know someone who has and wants to share their memory, consider setting up a memorial website on Ever Loved. Memorial websites are free, simple to use, and a beautiful place to share your baby’s obituary, event information, collect memories, and more.
What a beautiful way to memorialize your baby.
Melinda
References:
Pregnancy, Infant, and Child Loss Awareness Month – Because of You, My Child
I think the timing of Sober October is perfect, it comes right before the holidays and there is plenty of alcohol flowing at that time of year. Being or getting sober is damn hard any time of the year but during the holidays your endurance can get tested. For me to remain sober, I made it known that I had stopped drinking, that didn’t mean that others needed to stop but I wanted it known that this was a commitment to me and it was serious. I stopped drinking close to 20 years ago, went cold turkey, and never attended a meeting and my husband still drinks. Actually, he’s an alcoholic but that’s his choice. I had the strength to do it so quickly because it was affecting the medications for my mental illness and it’s hard to live without stability of the mind.
Don’t convince yourself that you can only have fun while drinking and stand firm that you can hang out with family or friends without drinking. One line to draw is that no one badgers you or says something negative because you’re not drinking. Give them one chance, stop the conversation, and set a boundary. If they can’t respect that, they are not your friend nor do they care about you. Parents and family can be the worst, hold the line clearly and if they break your boundary again don’t be around them. The psychology behind what they are doing quite frankly is disrespecting you.
Alcohol is like a drug, and you become addicted to it, it’s also easy to see alcohol as a comfort that makes the day easier. I get that, I understand that and I know that when you are ready to quit drinking YOU CAN. Seek out all the support you need, just don’t turn to a replacement addiction. Everyone is different and how we move past an addiction is different, don’t compare yourself to others, or buy into that you have to recover a certain way. There is no certain way, you have to make your own, just don’t do it alone.
Melinda
Pardon the mess WordPress made out of the alignment. It looks fine in Editor but when reviewed it’s a complete mess. No surprise. Let’s put the frustration aside and enjoy reading about Ilze’s blog.
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week we highlight the blog A Day in the Life of a Latvian Mom. Ilze and I haven’t followed each other long but you would never know it. We became fast friends and now we talk almost every day. She is inspirational, logical with a touch of whimsy, and I can’t forget to say what a great photographer she is.
Hello! I’m Ilze, a mom of three wonderful kids who arrived in quick succession. This beautiful chaos led me to step away from my IT career to embrace motherhood fully.
Before becoming a mom, I built a career in IT, earning degrees in Programming and Computer Science. Almost two years ago, I accepted a position at a dream company after months of consideration, and I haven’t looked back since!
My blogging journey began with greeting card making, which eventually led to opening a photo studio to spend more time with my family. However, I soon realized I needed a change and discovered my love for making beeswax candles, experimenting with sweet aromas like green tea and lemon.
A couple of recent posts I particularly enjoyed:
One thing I admire about Ilze is she can multitask until bone tired and still find humor in the day. What a blessing. The greatest lesson I took away from the posts is there is Physics to everything and life is how we look at it. This is a photo of her husband on a Zoom call with colleagues in Canada while he’s holding the water over the outdoor shower so Ilze can take her shower. Life can’t get much funnier!
Ilze is a devoted cook and has an archive full of delicious recipes to try your hand at. I saw this post and had to stop, drool, and think of how good it tasted. As my backing skills improve I will definitely try this cake. She has the ingredients and instructions laid out nicely so it is easy to follow.
I asked Ilze two questions:
What type of music she likes, why, and how has it changed her life? Her reply.
A song that’s close to me is “(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman” by Aretha Franklin. There’s something so powerful and soulful about the way she sings it. The song reminds me of the importance of authenticity and emotional connection, both in my personal life and in my work. It’s uplifting and grounding at the same time, and it always inspires me to embrace who I am and what I do. What a great song of liberty!
Tell me about your favorite job and what she learned from it, here’s her reply.
My favorite job is the one I’m currently in, which I started almost two years ago in client support. I enjoy it because it challenges me to think creatively and come up with solutions that aren’t always straightforward. I work with managers and stakeholders, helping them use the report-managing app eazyBI, which is a rewarding experience. What I’ve learned most from this job is how to assist with different management questions and how to build reports that are valuable for decision-making. Even when the work becomes overwhelming, I’m fortunate to have a great mentor and a supportive team, which has taught me the importance of collaboration and asking for guidance when needed.
Ilze is a multitasker to the nth degree, and she does it effortlessly, always with a good sense of humor, grounded in nature, and good manners, and being kind to all is not act! In her career, she’s been a professional photographer, had her own studio, and loves working in IT.
You are short-changing yourself if you don’t stop by and say hello, you’ll make a fast friend and her archives are a walk through nature, life, cooking, foraging, and remodeling an 1880 derelict house by hand.
Melinda
Thank you for visiting my blog and allowing me into your life, your time here makes me smile. I set a goal to travel the world when I was a child and get the chance through your visit. I appreciate the time you’ve taken to read a post or two and hope you’ve found something that resonates with you. I have not had a chance to visit your home country yet but it’s on my bucket list.
I’ve recently struck up a friendship with a woman in Latvia, and she has shared incredible photos of the countryside which gives me a taste of where she lives. You can find Ilze at A Day in the Life of a Latvian Mom. Yesterday I wrote a special post of support for Ukraine, you can find it here.
I look forward to seeing you again soon and please take good care of yourself in the meantime.
Melinda
Thanks to the incredible efforts of campaign groups, individuals, healthcare companies and charities, the world knows more about stomas. With that increased awareness comes a lot of good things, but unfortunately there’s still many ways in which those with an ostomy can feel ignored, misunderstood or sidelined. Here are just 5 ways in which we can be left feeling invisible with a stoma.
[ This post is in honour of 5th October Stoma Awareness Day 2024, the theme of which is “Do You See Me?”]
Melinda
I had only heard of Ukraine a couple of times before Putin attacked Ukraine and knew nothing about Russia stealing Crimea away years prior. Since the war began, I think of Ukraine multiple times a day. The Ukrainian people are an example of community, love your neighbor, help one, help all, and they are strong to the core.
I’ve heard Ukrainians talk to reporters and talk about what happened to their house or how a family member was killed but one thing I DON”T hear is complaining. I believe in my heart that someone would share their last meal, true humanity.
I admire President Zelenski, he’s on the ground with the soldiers, and he talks about reality, he appears to be a humble man but with the strength of a million bulls. His determination and commitment to his country is why so many soldiers from other countries, including America came to fight in the war. He doesn’t put on airs, blow smoke, or play games. I love how he dresses the same regardless of who he meets, that tells me so much about him. He’s focused on the war, winning, and building a better life for all Ukrainians.
I have seen many interviews since the war started and I’m always struck by the resilience of the Ukrainian people. I see the sadness in their eyes yet I see hope. They have faith in a brighter day and make the best of every moment, and no doubt it’s much worse than what I see on television. To see neighbors taking care of a child who lost his mother while his father is on the front line is overwhelming heartbreaking and joyful, the child is not left aside, it’s loved and cared for. It’s a miracle.
I’ve gone out of my way to purchase items from Ukraine to help the few who can work continue to make a living. Etsy.com has a large community of Ukrainian sellers and they truly appreciate your business. The homemade wool items I’ve purchased from Woven Wool Art are high-quality and the seller will take custom orders. The extra cost of postage is nothing compared to helping someone who needs to work. Check Etsy out, if you order fast enough your items will get here by the holidays.
I’m sending hugs to all the Ukrainian people. :)
America would be a great place to live if we had leadership like President Zelenski.
Melinda
Thank you for joining me for this week’s Friday Quote.
Melinda
When I see you smile, I can do anything!
It’s the weekend!!!!!!
I’m glad you joined me this week for another edition of Weekend Music Share.
Have a great weekend!
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
Life throws all kinds of challenges at us from the loss of loved ones to mental health issues that make us feel like we will never be happy again but you know what? No matter how hard life has been and no matter how challenging it continues to be, you should never give up on finding happiness. Here’s why:
1. New Treatments Are Popping Up Like Apps on Your Phone
Do you know how there’s always a new app for everything these days? Well, the same goes for treatments for depression. If traditional talk therapy and medication aren’t cutting it, don’t worry—science has got your back. Ketamine therapy, for instance, has been making waves as a game-changer for treating depression. Yep, you read that right. The same stuff that was once seen as party drug material is now helping people kick depression to the curb. And that’s just one example—there are new treatments being discovered all the time.
So, the next time you feel like you’ve exhausted all your options, remember: somewhere out there, someone’s cooking up a fresh, innovative approach that just might be your golden ticket to happiness.
2. Happiness Is Not One-Size-Fits-All
Let’s clear something up: happiness isn’t like a pair of skinny jeans that only fit one type of person. It’s more like sweatpants—different for everyone, and much more comfortable. So if what works for one person (say, mindfulness meditation or bubble baths) doesn’t work for you, don’t sweat it. Happiness comes in a million forms, and you just need to find the one that fits you best. Maybe it’s painting your dog’s toenails (no judgment) or starting a new hobby like indoor skydiving. Keep exploring until you stumble upon your happy place.
3. Happiness Is Closer Than You Think (No, Really)
I know, it’s cliché to say “happiness is right around the corner,” but sometimes it really is. It’s just that the corner might be at the end of a path you haven’t tried yet. Whether it’s giving a new therapist a shot, picking up that hobby you dropped in 2014, or even trying something as wild as ketamine therapy, there are countless avenues to happiness you might not have considered. Spoiler alert: happiness might be waiting for you at the next twist or turn.
4. Setbacks Don’t Mean Failure
Look, no one finds happiness on their first try—if they did, we’d all be running around like a bunch of overly enthusiastic puppies. Life has ups and downs, and yeah, sometimes it feels like you’re stuck in the downs. But remember, setbacks are just detours, not dead ends. It’s okay to feel frustrated, to take a break, or even to scream into a pillow (highly recommended, by the way). Just don’t give up on the journey entirely. You’re not finished yet.
5. Because You Deserve It
You’ve probably heard this a million times, but I’m going to say it again: you deserve to be happy. Full stop. It doesn’t matter how long it takes or how many times you stumble along the way—your happiness is worth fighting for.
Take a deep breath, and keep on pushing forward because who knows where it will take you?!
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
You would think that the question would be easy to answer given the physical abuse by my mother which started at birth, my stepfather hitting me in the mouth with his fist, watching my mother being beaten by my stepfather from the day they were married, and the sexual abuse by my father. My childhood was beyond traumatic, and it didn’t stop when I became a preteen.
At 12 years old, I was living with my father who was incapable of being a father and had no rules. I was dating a 21-year-old dealer and addicted to speed. Every weekend was a different mix of exotic drugs to try. I skipped school for 45 days straight and my father had me put in Juvenile Detention for three days as punishment. I was so dead inside and totally lost that the sexual abuse didn’t phase me at the time.
There’s plenty more to talk about but I also had issues when I got older. I was sexually assaulted more than once, stalked three times, had Cervical Cancer at 27 years old, and had a total hysterectomy. That’s a lot to decide at 27 years old with no children but I made it clear at 12 years old that I didn’t want children.
My father committed suicide when I was 28 years old, the only positive is that I sought out treatment for my Bipolar Disorder. Sometimes I think he died so I would live.
I’ve had all the normal career challenges including being fired from a six-figure job for something I didn’t do. I didn’t get rich of the lawsuit but I proved my point, it was someone else’s lie and politics that got me fired. The lawsuit did prove to me how strong I was and how much badgering I could take from the other side.
I’ve had health issues large and small most of my life and I think I’m facing my biggest battle yet. My first day at The Mayo Clinic is 10/13/24 and after extensive testing, I will meet with my team of doctors and learn my diagnosis and the treatment plan. I have complete confidence in The Mayo and am working hard to prepare for whatever they find.
I feel calm most of the time with a tiny bit of fear for how my life could change. I’ve worked hard as always to not diagnose myself but I have run a few searches on Copilot that have given two possible answers. I’m not putting stock in that but it’s easy to believe when everything you put in the search comes back to the same answer. I’ll leave that for the doctors and won’t be surprised if it’s something completely different.
I won’t know if I’m strong enough until the reality comes but at least I have a good track record of survival.
I’m sending a special thanks to everyone who has sent kind words of encouragement and well wishes. You are the sunshine in my life.
Melinda
A consistently healthy diet may ease symptoms of depression. Here are experts’ in-season picks for your plate.
Fall and winter can be brutal for people with depression. It gets dark early, resulting in far less exposure to mood-brightening sunlight, plus colder temperatures can make you just want to stay in bed.
In addition, it’s a time of year filled with the sugar-laden, high-fat holiday foods that are often least likely to benefit our mental health. “It’s a challenging time for eaters,” says Drew Ramsey, MD, a nutritional psychiatrist based in Jackson, Wyoming. “There’s lots of delicious stuff that oftentimes isn’t so great for our mood.”
Atlanta-based Jerlyn Jones, RDN, agrees, pointing out that the relationship between an unhealthy diet and depression is often a vicious cycle. “If you have a poor diet, then you’re going to feel more depressed. And when you feel more depressed, you’re probably going to eat more of those types of foods,” says Jones.
The good news: Diet is a modifiable risk factor for depression. In other words, simply loading up on whole foods like fruits and vegetables, fish, nuts, legumes, and the like can improve symptoms of this mood disorder in some people, according to research.
The problem is that when people feel stressed and depressed, they tend to crave comforting foods that are higher in sugar, salt, and fat, Jones says. Unfortunately, the instant relief you experience from those foods — especially the sugar-laden ones — dissolves quickly, which then can cause your mood to crash.
Not to mention that filling up on so-called “junk food” can make it hard to receive enough of the essential nutrients that the brain needs to function at its best, including B vitamins, folate, and magnesium.
“These vitamins and minerals have been inversely associated with depressive disorders,” Jones says. “Foods that are high in different nutrients can make you feel so much better.”
Wondering which healthy cold-weather foods can improve your mood? Experts advise increasing your intake of these five.
These cruciferous vegetables are rich in folate — a B vitamin that helps with mood regulation in the brain, Jones says. Studies have shown that B vitamins like folic acid — a form of folate — may benefit people with depression, according to a review article.
“This nutrient is linked to brain activity and increasing our moods,” says Jones. “Eating foods on a daily basis that are high in folate will help significantly improve the way you feel.”
Try adding raw, shredded Brussels sprouts to salads, or cut them in half, toss them with olive oil and spices, and roast them until brown.
Another great fall food to eat regularly is pomegranate, a fruit high in antioxidants, Jones says. And it’s especially easy to reap this benefit because drinking pomegranate juice can significantly increase the number of antioxidants you take in, Jones notes.
In addition to their antioxidant content, pomegranates contain polyphenols, which have anti-inflammatory and antidepressant-like properties, according to a review article. “Inflammation is one of the root causes of depression, anxiety, and other mental health problems,” Dr. Ramsey says.
These perennially popular fall fruits contain magnesium, which was linked to a lower risk of depressive symptoms and disorders in one systematic review.
Fitting this squash into your diet is easier than you may think — pumpkins are incredibly versatile. Try adding pureed pumpkin to soups, smoothies, and pasta sauces. Or simply snack on pumpkin seeds or toss them in a fall salad. “Pumpkin seeds are really one of our top [food] recommendations,” Ramsey says.
Usually harvested in September and October, sweet potatoes pack several essential nutrients — in particular, vitamin C. A meta-analysis concluded that higher levels of vitamin C are associated with reduced depressive symptoms, while lower levels of this vitamin are linked to increased symptoms, though more research is needed to confirm this association.
Winter squash comes in many forms — acorn squash, butternut squash, and spaghetti squash, to name a few. And each of them contain high amounts of vitamin B6, a nutrient shown to positively affect mood. One study found that a lower intake of vitamin B6 was associated with an increased risk of depression among more than 3,300 women.
Colder weather is a good time to consume more soup, especially clam chowders and seafood stews, says Ramsey. Dishes that contain mussels, clams, and oysters are dense with nutrients like magnesium, as well as omega-3 fatty acids, another nutrient that research suggests benefits people with depression.
If you’re in the mood for something sweet, Ramsey advises swapping sugary holiday desserts for dark chocolate, which is packed with antioxidants and fiber.
“There’s now some interesting data about how the nutrients in dark chocolate are stimulating but also good for the brain, in the sense that people who eat dark chocolatetend to have less depression,” Ramsey says.
Data from a survey of more than 13,000 U.S. adults showed that chocolate, especially dark chocolate, may be tied to a reduced risk of depressive symptoms.
Along with avoiding excess sugar, Ramsey advises being mindful of how much alcohol you consume around the holiday season.
“There’s a lot of drinking during the holidays, and alcohol can be awful if you have depression,” Ramsey says. “It tends to make people feel better in the short term, and then worse the next day.”
If you need help planning good-mood-friendly meals, the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s online tool MyPlate offers quizzes and hundreds of recipes to get you started.
Although diet isn’t a cure for depression, eating nutritious foods can help people with the condition feel better. This fall and winter, consider adding seasonal fruits and vegetables rich in mood-enhancing nutrients like folate, antioxidants, and magnesium to your plate (think Brussels sprouts, pomegranates, and sweet potatoes, for example).
“There’s a lot of drinking during the holidays, and alcohol can be awful if you have depression,” Ramsey says. “It tends to make people feel better in the short term, and then worse the next day.”
If you need help planning good-mood-friendly meals, the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s online tool MyPlate offers quizzes and hundreds of recipes to get you started.
Melinda
Reference:
By Leona Vaughn Medically Reviewed by Reyna Franco, RDN courtesy of American College of Lifestyle Medicine
I’m glad you joined me on Wordless Wednesday and I hope to see you soon.
The Hydrangeas didn’t turn out as well as they looked in the editor. But you get a good look at the art piece. I shopped the house to find something to fill in the wall.
Melinda
A little backstory will help here. I was stalked in 2017-2018 by someone I knew on WordPress, I didn’t know it at the time. They stalked me for seven months and wreaked havoc on my life. It started the day my Twitter account was hacked and they made it look like two people I was close to were the ones stalking me. I was completely shocked and for some reason I contacted WordPress, and they told me that the DNS address was one of my close friends. I was even more confused now. Why would they stalk me?
Over the coming months, they hacked my phone and my computer, sending me text messages that didn’t make sense, and when I would be typing a post they would change the words. I started asking them questions like do you plan to hurt me, are you a mean person and similar questions. I received back jibberish but felt they didn’t want to hurt me. The texts were the worst, I had no idea what they were saying so I started asking who they were. I would get back an initial but it didn’t match anyone I knew.
It ended badly but one day they sent me an initial I recognized, and as soon as I said her name, I never heard from her again.
Fast forward all these years, and someone from the country she lived in is searching my archives, it’s not a bot just 20 or so posts a day but the hairs went up on my neck. This has been happening for a couple of weeks, and I’ve become paranoid. It doesn’t sound logical but the trauma from the experience came rushing back. I can’t tell who they are, only that they are on Facebook.
Have you experienced this type of unfounded fear before?
Melinda
Hi, I’m glad you stopped by, and I look forward to seeing you soon.
Playing in the rain sounds great to me, and so does playing on a slippery slide or swinging off a rope into the lake. As for the last time I let loose, who knows.
Melinda
Domestic violence not only traumatizes the woman but also their children. My mother married my stepfather when I was seven years old and I watched him beat her to a pulp almost daily until I moved out at 12 years old. She screamed out in pain, begged for her life, and cared for her wounds privately to not set him off again. He was an alcoholic but that is not what made him an abuser, that came from within for reasons no one will know.
I watched him drag her down the hall, beating her head from side to side so she would hit both walls, all the while she was begging and crying for him to stop. What’s crazy is that I hated my mother, she was my abuser but down deep she was my mother and it pained me to watch her be treated that way. She stayed married to him until he was beating her and my brother took out a shotgun and made him leave.
You might ask “Why didn’t she just leave?” There are so many reasons women don’t leave, one is their children. How do you prepare to leave when you are watched like a hawk? How do you squirrel away enough money to live, relocate, move your kids out of school, and pay rent? It’s nearly impossible. One attitude the abuser takes is that they own the woman and they will go to any lengths to keep her. To get her to come back, the most common is the sweet personality change and wooing her back only to beat her more.
At the same time, they are beating a woman, they are also degrading her and some women think they deserve it over time which causes them to stay. Some women stay out of fear and others know they will be hunted down, some will have a child kidnapped or the abuser will call the police claiming she left with the kids and make up a wild story that the police have to check out.
I’ve met many women while blogging who were in violent relationships and saw what they went through to leave, the heartbreak after, and all the horrific acts towards them and each one was so traumatic you ask yourself, “How did they make it?” Each one is a survivor!
It’s important to know that men also have violent relationships. There can be shame involved and that is why many men don’t come forward but they are not forgotten. They are survivors as well and often carry a big burden by not seeking help or telling anyone.
Melinda
Reference:
https://www.nomore.org/know-the-facts/
Ahead of the upcoming US presidential election, NO MORE is committed to helping survivors of domestic violence and stalking participate safely in the democratic process. This month we launched a new State Voting Guide for Survivors, outlining key options to help survivors protect their privacy and security while making their voices heard.
By consolidating this critical information in one place, the guide simplifies the voting process every step of the way. NO MORE will continue to provide information for survivors, as well as for their friends, employers, and communities to help support them.
Thank you, No More for supporting and thinking of how to protect us in each situation.
Melinda
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week we highlight John Malone and his blog. We haven’t followed each other long but we have become fast friends and I feel like a kindred spirit to him. John has brought my sense of creativity alive, he’s whip-smart, funny, and knows how to express himself through words. I could sit and talk with John for hours and would still have more questions, he’s interesting.
‘This then I can say about my life:
I have two cats, a dog.
three children
and a wife’
except I no longer have a wife or pets, except a cat called Rosco, but have accrued numerous grandchildren and yes, I still whistle while I walk 🙂
I have five books of poetry published, two of which have been self published and many , many poems anthologized. Between 2000 and 2012 I had over 170 childrens’ poems published in major magazines, in the North America, NZ and here in Oz, some of which are still earning royalties from being republished.
I also have three educational titles with major publishers, guides to creative writing in classrooms which schools use, written during the same period.
I sometimes think I should write children’s poems again but I wrote them for/with my grandchildren while they grew up in my presence.
To dig deeper into John’s career accomplishments click here.
What was your first job and what did you learn from it?
A secondary English teacher; learnt how to ;handle’ teenagers, not always successfully; learnt how to impart my love of literature and get them to write poetry themselves: we were a vibrant writing community.
What is your greatest career accomplishment?
My first book of poems by a major publisher was a thrill. Also between 2001 and 2013 I had over 70 children’s poems published in literary magazines for children in Australia, the Us and NZ. The three poems I’m proudest of are ‘Fork’, ‘Fearless’ and ‘The Mothering Tree’
Did you have a goal for your blog and have you achieved it?
As for the blog I just wanted to get my stuff out there and get immediate feedback instead of going through the delayed process of magazine submissions. I’ve built a lively following and feel part of a vibrant ever evolving literary community: a tribe !
John’s post New Direction was a surprise and a day to rejoice. We had been talking about his accomplishments which I greatly admire and later this post arrived. I’m thrilled John gave me some credit but most importantly, he wrote a new short story after taking many years off from writing. I’m counting the days until it’s published so we can read it on his blog. I look forward to new stories as John has his mojo back.
This post makes me think of all the journals and notebooks I carried around for years, starting as a child, they included writings, drawings, goals, and daydreams. They were my calm, my comfort, they knew my inner thoughts and they never betrayed me. John’s notebook was no doubt just as special, holding his thoughts, stories, and many ideas. The cover is fitting with its lived-in look and who would want to change that?
One of John’s favorite tunes:
I set a goal in 5th or 6th grade to become a Journalist for Life Magazine, but that isn’t where my career took me for multiple reasons. John’s career accomplishments are not directly related to my goal but I can imagine that being published gives you the same high and sense of accomplishment. I admire his accomplishments but what’s more important is that John is humble, no boasting, there are no airs about him and I admire him for that.
Be sure to stop by and say hello to John and while there browse through his extensive archives. You will not be disappointed and you may find yourself following John as well.
Melinda
If you haven’t followed me long, you may not be aware of the health struggles I’ve had dating back to 2010. Not only have I had a major run-in with what might have been the end of my life, but since 2012 I’ve suffered with severe balance issues and cognitive impairment. Although I don’t have a clue what The Mayo will diagnose me with, I am totally confident in their ability to find answers and get me the right treatment.
This post is something I’ve been laughing so hard about because it can only be funny. I’ve been wishing this one plant to have babies for the past year or two to no avail. Today, I was looking at it again, trying to understand why it hasn’t had a baby. Then the brick hit me, it’s an artificial plant! It makes me laugh every time I think about it. Apparently, I was very sick when I planted it thinking it was a live plant only to find today, that it won’t have any babies. HAHA!!!!!!!
I chose to find it funny, how could I not? I won’t kick myself for being too sick to know the difference. I believe this general attitude is why I keep pushing forward in life and can deal with what comes my way. Who needs a kick in the ass?
Melinda
by Elizabeth Drucker
•••••
Medically Reviewed by:
Bethany Juby, PsyD
When you’re living with depression, sleeping doesn’t always come easily. Here are my go-to tricks when I can’t seem to wind down.
When my psychiatrist is worried about me, she always asks me how I’m sleeping. When my depression is getting the best of me, I tend to thrash around on my bed for hours. I seem to wake up every hour.
Here are some tips that have helped me get the sleep that I need so I can function throughout the day.
I’ve found that listening to music can relax me to the point that I drift off. I have a playlist on Pandora filled with familiar songs that I really like.
It’s fun to take an hour or two to sort out the songs that work best for you. They can be anything: alternative, pop, classical. You might even want to listen to nature sounds or recordings from the ocean.
The point is that you find something that makes you relax and that you want to hear. There are some phone apps that you can use that have relaxing sounds, too. I also have a clock with recorded songs on it that help me relax.
When I’m getting ready to fall asleep, I have a routine that always includes a hot shower. This helps me relax.
Routines like these are helpful for depression. It might also be helpful to use body wash with scents that you like.
When you’re living with depression, you can find ways to fight back at it with all the five senses.
Anxiety and depression can be related. There are times when I can’t sleep because I’m so worried about something. This feeds into my depression.
There are many techniques to help reduce anxiety. One thing I do is take deep breaths, slowly and gently. I notice that when I’m anxious, it feels harder to breathe, so this really helps.
I may also try writing a list of all the things that I’m worried about — just to get them out of my head so I can focus more on sleep. Identifying what you’re anxious about is an important step in combatting it.
When I’m depressed and having trouble sleeping, I start getting very frustrated. I also tend to think negatively about myself. Everything I do is wrong. If I can do something to reverse this, it really helps.
The goal is to counter the depression with everything that is positive. It might sound wild, but one really good way to do this is to talk to yourself. I try to speak calmly and gently to myself all the time.
I acknowledge that, yes, I’m in a depressed mood. But I need to take care of myself and get the sleep I need to be able to function in the morning.
One of the hardest parts of coping with depression is feeling like it will go on forever. This can make trying to fall asleep more complicated and overwhelming.
Keep reminding yourself that depression often comes in waves and things will get better. This is one thing that always helps me when I’m struggling to fall asleep and worrying about it being a never-ending problem.
When it comes down to it, it’s important to take care of yourself with self-compassion. Depression can make it harder to fall asleep, but you don’t need to just accept that. Fight back with whatever works best for you.
Try to include things that engage the five senses. Also, keep track of your sleep and tell a mental health professional if you’re unable to sleep. Sometimes, medication is a necessary step. There have been times when my doctor needed to prescribe medication to help me get some sleep.
What matters is finding ways that help you get the amount of sleep you need to feel rested and ready to take on the day.
The key is to do what works for you, give a suggestion a go, and if it doesn’t move to the next. As much as I love music, it doesn’t help me fall asleep, in fact just the opposite, it wakes my brain up. Going to bed earlier than my sleep time has been most helpful to me. I have the room quiet, pamper myself with some good lotion, and arthritis cream, and the air diffuser is on with Lavender oil which relaxes me. I relax between 45 minutes to an hour before sleep time and I’m ready to fall asleep the majority of the time.
Melinda
Reference:
Thank you for joining me for this week’s Friday Quote.
Melinda
This Weekend Music share is dedicated to my friend John Malone and his blog of the same name. On Monday the Blogger Highlight post on John and his blog will be published, and I’ve enjoyed asking him some questions. I asked about his music choices and found one from The Rolling Stones I had forgotten about. Enjoy!
It’s the weekend!!!!!!
I’m glad you joined me this week for another edition of Weekend Music Share.
Have a great weekend!
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
Physical therapy may be used alongside other treatments to help reduce fibromyalgia pain and improve mental health.
Chronic pain and fatigue are common symptoms of fibromyalgia. You may also experience sleep, memory, or mood issues as a result of this condition.
There’s no cure yet for fibromyalgia, but doctors may recommend physical therapy in addition to medications and alternative therapies, like massage and acupuncture, to help with your symptoms.
As part of a holistic plan, physical therapy can help you cope with your pain. It may also reduce the frequency and intensity of your symptoms.
This article examines how physical therapy and the right exercise program might help those with fibromyalgia.
Physical therapy can offer a variety of benefits for those with fibromyalgia, including:
Research has found that individuals with fibromyalgia may have difficulty with lower aerobic endurance and muscle strength. They are also likely to live a sedentary life because of their pain. This can increase their likelihood of developing other health complications.
With the help of physical therapy, quality of life and productivity can improve.
Doctors highly recommend that those with fibromyalgia participate in aerobic and strength training activities. While current research does not offer as much support for flexibility exercises, these exercises may also prove beneficial, especially as part of a warm-up or cool-down routine.
Types of exercise frequently recommended if you have fibromyalgia include:
If you’ve received a diagnosis of fibromyalgia, a licensed physical therapist can design or tailor a holistic program specifically for you.
To create your personalized exercise program, a physical therapist will consider your overall health and exercise level. They’ll work with you to develop a workout that is sufficiently challenging but also comfortable enough to do several times per week.
Because fibromyalgia symptoms can fluctuate, your physical therapist may need to make frequent adjustments to your program.
Working out consistently is important, but it can be difficult, especially if you have a painful flare.
Your physical therapist may ask questions about the types of activities you enjoy doing to find ways to motivate you. They may also begin slowly and build up the intensity of your workouts over time to help prevent pain and burnout.
In addition to exercises on land, your physical therapist may suggest aquatic therapy. The warmer water in therapy pools can relax muscles, offer joint relief, and improve circulation.
A physical therapy treatment plan for fibromyalgia may also include massage, the use of a TENS machine, or hot/cold packs to prevent and treat your muscle pain.
In addition to an exercise plan, your physical therapist can provide helpful education about pain management. The skills they teach can be useful in coping with your fibromyalgia symptoms.
Your doctor may be able to provide a referral to a local physical therapist who has worked with individuals with fibromyalgia in the past.
Another place you may potentially be able to get referrals is through a local fibromyalgia support group.
If you choose to do your own research, you may wish to look online for a local physical therapist who advertises their work with fibromyalgia and has articles or blogs on their website demonstrating their knowledge of the connection between physical therapy and fibromyalgia.
It’s also usually a good idea to check out their reviews.
If you have fibromyalgia, it’s important to have the support of others who understand what you’re going through. Your doctor or local hospital may be able to suggest an in-person support group near you.
You can also get support online through organizations like the Fibromyalgia Care Society of America.
Another place where you can connect with other people with fibromyalgia is in Meta groups. Research indicates Meta (formerly Facebook) groups can be a source of support for those living with fibromyalgia. But remember that these groups may not always encourage evidence-based approaches to fibromyalgia care.
If you have fibromyalgia, chronic pain can be debilitating. Physical therapy may help reduce your pain, increase your range of motion, and improve your mental well-being. Your doctor may recommend it in combination with medication and alternative therapies.
A physical therapist can help with pain management and develop an individualized exercise plan that includes a mixture of aerobic and strength-building activities. Tai chi, walking, and swimming are some exercises that may be particularly beneficial if you have fibromyalgia.
Melinda
Reference:
Note from NAMI National:
“September is Suicide Prevention Month, when we work to raise awareness about this urgent crisis. Like mental health conditions, suicidal thoughts can affect anyone regardless of age, gender, or background. But suicidal thoughts should not be considered normal and often indicate more serious issues.”
Fast Facts:
Individual Impact
Community Impact:
Annual prevalence of serious thoughts of suicide, by U.S. demographic group:
This Suicide Prevention Month, check in on your loved ones. Knowing the risk factors and warning signs can assist you in finding help for yourself, a loved one, or a friend. You can learn more about this here.
With gratitude,
The NAMI Texas Public Policy Team
Melinda
For the complete list of Awareness Months click on the link under references. Below are the issues that are most important to me or ones I have a personal connection to for which there are several.
Melinda
Reference:
https://www.goodgoodgood.co/articles/october-awareness-days-months
I’m glad you joined me on Wordless Wednesday and I hope to see you soon.
I was so happy to see two of my favorite flowers, Roses and a Hydrangea.
Melinda
As Dave Martz lay dying, an idea serpentined around his mind and would not loosen its grip: Despite the absolute diagnosis and the insistence of the doctors, including a world expert, that he was dying of ALS, despite his own vow to face things head-on and reject the lure of denial, Martz couldn’t shake the notion that possibly, just maybe, he actually had Lyme disease. (from Cure Unknown: Inside the Lyme Epidemic by Pamela Weintraub.)
One of the earliest Lyme conferences I ever attended featured Dr. Dave Martz and the story of his remarkable recovery from what had been diagnosed as ALS–a fatal condition.
I would later write this about him in my blog:
Dr. David Martz is kind of a rock star in the Lyme world. You may have read about him in Pam Weintraub’s Cure Unknown and seen footage of him in the documentary Under Our Skin.
His story is riveting. He had a lifetime of good health and a successful career as a physician practicing internal medicine-hematology-oncology for 30 years. Then, in 2003, Martz suddenly started experiencing strange symptoms. First deep fatigue, then profound muscle aches and body-wide pain. Soon he was too weak to get out of bed. As his condition rapidly deteriorated, his physicians gave him a devastating diagnosis: ALS (aka Lou Gehrig’s Disease). They said nothing could stem his physical decline and he would likely be dead within two years.
But events went in a different direction. As his health spiraled downward, Martz connected with a Lyme disease specialist who prescribed hard-hitting, long-term antibiotics. The gamble paid off. By the end of 2004, Martz was a new man. In fact, the doctor who had diagnosed him so definitively with ALS, now pronounced that condition completely gone.
Martz devoted the next two and a half years to a project that gave extended antibiotics to about 90 ALS patients and demonstrated objective improvements in 15% of them. He has also treated more than 800 chronic Lyme patients, with good response and minimal side effects.
In 2010, I helped organize a Lyme patient education conference in the San Francisco Bay Area and we had Dr. Martz as our keynote speaker. He was a kind, thoughtful man who offered a message of hope to an audience which sorely needed it.
This week, I learned that Dr. Martz passed away last month at the age of 83. Rest in peace, Dr. Martz, rest in peace.
TOUCHED BY LYME is written by Dorothy Kupcha Leland, President of LymeDisease.org. She is co-author of Finding Resilience: A Teen’s Journey Through Lyme Disease and of When Your Child Has Lyme Disease: A Parent’s Survival Guide. Contact her at dleland@lymedisease.org.
Very interesting read! So glad he had an open mind and thought to seek out a Lyme Literate Doctor, it saved his life.
Melinda
Life with chronic discomfort can feel like living out an endless drama, yet its protagonist (that would be you), deserves smoother scenes. Luckily, there are multiple techniques to alleviate persistent pain, providing pockets of relief from daily struggle into a manageable storyline.
Photo by Gizem Nikomedi on Unsplash
Exercise may make your spine shudder, but physical activity is an excellent way to manage chronic pain. Engaging in low-impact activities such as swimming, yoga, or tai chi can improve circulation, and flexibility and release endorphins. Natural painkillers are made available without an expectation of compensation.
Your body’s endorphins act like the stand-up comedians of its own world, helping lighten the mood and make things bearable. Movement produces endorphins which in turn reduce perceptions of pain. So whether it’s taking a daily stroll around your neighborhood or doing some light stretching exercises, find something that makes you want to move, even if that means dancing awkwardly without anyone watching.
Your mind can be used as an effective weapon, all it needs to be properly deployed. Practices such as mindfulness meditation, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and guided imagery can have profound effects on pain perception while changing our relationship to discomfort.
Engaging in mindful practice means staying present to each moment without judgment, helping to ease stress and anxiety that exacerbate pain. Apps or online resources designed to guide this process could prove invaluable, and your mind and body will thank you.
Incorporating natural methods can often provide what is needed for living with chronic pain. Acupuncture, chiropractic care, and herbal remedies may complement other pain management approaches by offering more holistic approaches.
While Acupuncture may seem strangely offbeat for television dramas, its roots lie deep within traditional Chinese medicine. By strategically placing needles along nerve pathways to reduce pain and promote healing.
Medical marijuana has emerged as an attractive solution for chronic pain sufferers, thanks to cannabinoids found within cannabis which interact with our bodies’ endocannabinoid system and modulate pain and inflammation. While legal challenges have historically limited medical marijuana’s use, studies show its efficacy for various forms of pain such as neuropathic and arthritis pain relief. Patients often find medical cannabis helps them decrease reliance on traditional painkillers while potentially decreasing adverse side effects. You must consult your healthcare professionals regarding appropriate usage as soon as possible before beginning.
No one’s suggesting an appearance on a cooking show, rather, what you eat has more power to affect pain levels than you realize. An anti-inflammatory diet may work wonders. Try including foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids like fish, flax seeds, and walnuts in your daily meal plans to reduce inflammation and pain levels. Remember: balance doesn’t mean balancing pizza slices between both hands.
Turmeric is one of the greatest spices imaginable, boasting powerful anti-inflammatory effects and rich with curcumin. Add turmeric to dishes, smoothies, or teas for an intoxicating flavor and potential pain relief. But be careful not to mistake it for its competitor, saffron. They both love taking center stage but serve distinct functions.
Chronic pain may be a constant part of life, but exploring different strategies may provide relief. Pain management becomes less exhausting with laughter as your guide and professionalism as your shield. Embrace these tips as creative tools to write a narrative that features discomfort less prominently in it.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
Looking for the Light 