Celebrate Life · Fun · Moving Forward

Friday Quote

“None of the truest things in life-like love or faith-was arrived at by thinking; indeed, one could almost define the things that mattered as the ones that came as suddenly as thunder.”

-Pico Iyer

Celebrate Life · Moving Forward · Survivor

A Love Letter To Realism In A Time Of Grief

TED TALKS: A Love Letter To Realism In A Time Of Grief.

Mark and Simone share the difficulties of having a relationship with Mark who is blind and paralyzed. They are honest, it made me look inside and think if I was strong enough or do I love enough. The connection as a couple and their combined strength is amazing. I have no doubt they will continue to push technology forward. The activities Mark still participates in blows my mind! Traveling to the coldest place on earth, hiking on Everest, you know he can do anything.

I hope you enjoy.  M

Celebrate Life · Men & Womens Health

How a new kind of community is creating a better aging experience

Jan 4, 2018 /

By joining the Beacon Hill Village in Boston, older people commit to helping each other while they stay in their own homes. And they have plenty of fun while doing it, says MIT AgeLab director Joseph F. Coughlin.

Joan Doucette was sipping coffee in a small café at MIT, her bicycle resting next to her. The Institute tends to frown on bringing bicycles into buildings, but only a hard soul could have stopped Doucette from wheeling in hers, with its ribbons streaming from the handlebars, white tires and a front basket filled with yellow and pink flowers.

The demeanor of the 75-year-old cyclist was just as sunny. Doucette peered up from a travel itinerary for a trip to Chicago. “There’s going to be 20 of us going,” she said. “We’re going to take a river trip. We’re going to go to the museums … then we’re going to the Russian tearoom. We’ve got a tour of the skyscrapers. And a lot of us are going to the Frank Lloyd Wright house. So, very busy.”

Doucette spoke with an English accent redolent of her native Surrey, where she was born in 1938. As a young woman, she was a nanny and became involved with the US embassy, which assigned her to foreign posts where she cared for diplomats’ families. When the father of one of those families died, she moved with the mother and kids to Massachusetts. “I was their nanny until I married and their mother remarried,” she said.

In 1970, Doucette began a career at MIT, moving among the Institute’s libraries, alumni relations department, Center for Transportation Studies (now the Center for Transportation and Logistics, home of the AgeLab), industrial relations, corporate development and more. She retired at 62, after having worked at MIT for 25 years. “What am I going to do with my days?” she wondered. The answer that presented itself seemed opportune at the time. She had no idea how revolutionary it would become.

Doucette and her husband moved to an apartment on Beacon Hill, one of the oldest areas in Boston. She didn’t know anyone there and worried about her social life. Then she received an invitation to join the Beacon Hill Village. But it’s not a village per se. It’s a loose confederation of older people who live on Beacon Hill, who, instead of moving to a community or facility devoted to old age, want to stay in their own homes, interact with their friends, eat at their favorite restaurants, and attend their favorite cultural events.

Many of the Village’s founders had seen elder care gone wrong and were resolved to find a better way. “Each of us had witnessed firsthand the distress our relatives experienced as they aged: a mother in a retirement community in Florida who felt lonely and abandoned; a parent in a nursing home, marginalized and overdrugged; an uncle with very limited means and no immediate family to help out,” founding member Susan McWhinney Morse has written.

n 1999, when the Beacon Hill neighbors began to consider creating something different, the story pervasive in the culture was clear. When you grew old, there was only one thing to do: move, whether it was to an independent or assisted living facility, country-club retirement community or nursing home. The neighbors were determined to tell a new story.

The Village’s members agreed to help each other with the small things that come up and to help each other find assistance for the big things. Today, in exchange for annual dues of $675, the Village offers help with tasks like grocery shopping, pet care, light housework and small repairs. For issues that pose a greater challenge — including health, caregiving and financial needs — the organization curates lists of trusted service providers, who sometimes even give member discounts.

The Village also provides access to vetted drivers trained in transporting elderly people who need special care. “They’ll take you shopping for your groceries. If you’re having an operation, they’ll come and pick you up and take you home,” said Doucette. “When I had the new knee put in last September, somebody came and picked me up.”

Perhaps the most essential aspect of life in Beacon Hill Village is what might sound like the least important: the fun. Doucette and her husband joined when the Village first opened to the public in 2002 and began building out its membership base as well as relationships with vendors, providers and contractors. Doucette helped build its social schedule, which, these days, is full.

“On Mondays we have a movie group that come in my house, and we have tea, and I stream a movie. And there’s about ten of us do that. And on Tuesdays, twice a month, there’s another group that meets down at 75 Chestnut” — a snug Beacon Hill restaurant — “and we talk about anything we want to, mostly about theater and movies,” she says. “And that’s called Terrible Tuesdays. And then every Wednesday a group meets on Charles Street in one of the restaurants there. And we talk world affairs mostly . . . And then on Thursdays I got my husband to go and do First Drink, because that’s for the men.” Doucette’s groups are so popular, she says, that she’s started to set up satellite gatherings in other parts of the city.

My immediate response was skeptical when I heard something special was going on across the river from my MIT office. Older people helping each other sounded great in theory, but I wondered how long such an altruistic collective could last. What I found: The Beacon Hill philosophy has not only endured; it’s spread. In the US, the Village to Village Network facilitates the development of Beacon Hill-esque communities. According to the Network, there are at least 190 villages built on the “Beacon Hill model” in all but four states, with 150 in development.

One 2014 study found that a quarter of Villages along the Beacon Hill model are actively working to improve their communities’ attitudes toward older adults. Every day, by going out and creating a positive impression on the people around them, the members of Beacon Hill and other Villages dispel the old myth that elders are unfit to co-mingle with society.

As new Villages have sprung up, several themes have emerged. One is the development of a pay-it-forward ethos. Paid staffs tend to be small, averaging between one and two-and-half full-time employees, so the majority of what Villages provide their members comes from volunteers, most of them members. They’re typically younger and healthier — people in their 50s, 60s and 70s — who provide occasional care to older members in their 80s and 90s. This care isn’t medical or care with the activities of daily living, which usually requires help from professionals or family members. Rather, Villagers assist each other with the issues that come up over the course of a full life.

At the San Francisco Village, member Bill Haskell said he had joined hoping to “pay it forward” to the local older community. “Within 30 days, my partner found out he had to have open-heart surgery. So we needed not to volunteer, we needed help. I needed a lot of help because I’m his primary caregiver,” he said. “Bob had a difficult surgery with a lot of complications. He was in the hospital for two weeks” — far longer than the expected three days. “Then there’s the home period.”

The Village provided Bill with vetted referrals for home care. For times when he needed to run out to the store or the gym, it sent a volunteer to sit with Bob. “People who are members brought over meals when I couldn’t cook any longer,” Bill said. “People we didn’t know brought over dinner for us.”

As appealing as this pay-it-forward mentality may sound, there are drawbacks. For one thing, it’s hard to market. Beacon Hill started as an organization devoted to mutual care and later took on its social-club vibe. The intrinsic focus on care can scare off potential members who don’t think of themselves as patients.

Beacon Hill also doesn’t offer an entirely coherent solution to the problem of identity in retirement. But in many ways, this is a feature, not a failure. Beacon Hill embraces complexity. Members are free to not just pursue a leisure-oriented idea of retirement but other aspirations, including caregiving, interacting with other generations, patronizing cultural institutions, volunteering and working.

If Beacon Hill’s embrace of complexity over clarity makes sense for its members, it also poses a liability in terms of defining a new way of life in old age. It’s hard for its subtle, complicated message to compete with the volume, vividness and simplicity of that broadcast by traditional senior communities. However, Beacon Hill could fight back by doubling down on its own model and offering more services and activities. Increasing its number of social events might allow those in the midst of a transition away from a primary career to wrap themselves in new interests. And a wider variety of workshops, classes, clubs and volunteer jobs would increase its visibility — turning Beacon Hill into, well, a beacon on a hill.

The barrier to achieving this kind of scale is considerable. Joanne Cooper, part of the membership committee at Beacon Hill, said bringing in new members is a challenge. “Two new members come in, four leave, one way or another,” whether they’re “moving to a more structured setting or, unfortunately, passing away.”

The relatively new San Francisco Village has 300 members. Nationwide, said San Francisco leader Kate Hoepke, Village memberships can be measured in the low tens of thousands. “You know, it should be ten times that many.” She wonders if the issue is a lack of funding or visionary leadership. The Village to Village Network’s pattern of growth — fast to spread across America and the globe, yet slow to flourish in sheer membership — might come down to the fact that “so much has happened in such a short period of time. That infrastructure isn’t there yet.”

If you, like me, want to live in a world where older adults and their kids aren’t antagonists but invest in each other, work for each other and help each other, then the Village movement is a good guide to follow. The Beacon Hill model is finding fertile ground in countries such as the UK and Germany. Other experiments in age integration are springing up as well. One program in Germany and Switzerland, Wohnen für Hilfe or Housing for Help, subsidizes the rent of carefully screened students who want to live in older people’s homes and help out with minor chores. The UK has a similar program called Homeshare. A law in Germany provides the 82 percent of elders who say they do not want to live in a nursing home with a grant of up to €10,000 to establish shared, community apartments, with a monthly subsidy of up to €200 per tenant.

The Beacon Hill Village and others like it aren’t perfect. They’re small, and they don’t leverage mobile technology as well as they could to improve connectedness. They’re limited mainly to urban areas, and they tend to skew middle-class-and-up, leaving people out. Still, as new generations of longevity-economy products make it easier to do more in old age than merely recreate and relax, it’s easy to envision something resembling the Beacon Hill Village emerging from our current state of frontier chaos.

Excerpted from the new book The Longevity Economy: Inside the World’s Fastest-Growing, Most Misunderstood Market by Joseph F. Coughlin. Published by PublicAffairs, an imprint of Hachette Book Group. Copyright © 2017 Joseph F. Couglin.

 

Celebrate Life · Moving Forward

Friday Quote

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The bee collects honey from flowers in such a way as to do the least damage or destruction to them, and he leaves them whole, undamaged and fresh, just as he found them.

Saint Francis de Sales

 

Celebrate Life · Fun · Moving Forward

Nominated For Sunshine Award From Two Besties

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The Sunshine Award comes to me from two close friends Danica Piche http://www.livingabeautifullife@wordpress.com and Robert M. Goldstein http://robertmgoldstein.com. They are so special I took my No Awards sign down to participate. The sign is back up, I forgot how much work these are.

The rules are:

Thank the blogger who nominated you for the award and link to their blog.

Thank you Danica and Robert, surprised I accepting the award?

List the rules and include the Sunshine Blogger Award Logo in your post.

Answer the 11 Questions asked of you.

Write a new list of 11 Questions for your Nominees

Nominate 11 Bloggers for the Sunshine Blogger Award

Many of the blogs on the list of nominees are award free blogs so those bloggers will know I’m thinking of them. 

For those of who accept the award I hope you’ll find my questions interesting or crazy!

I’M USING ROBERT’S QUESTIONS SINCE HIS AWARD CAME IN FIRST. I STILL LOVE YOU DANICA, OF COURSE HEDGEHOG TOO.

questions answers signage
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Why do you blog?

Blogging started as a way to help grieve my Granny as time went on I wanted to share what I had learned as a caregiver. The rest they say is history.

What most frustrates you about blogging? 

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When I’m to sick to write or write anyway and its complete gibberish.

What do you enjoy most about blogging?

Learning, meeting people from every corner of the globe, feedback and helping others. Blogging also fulfills my 6th grade goal of being a Journalist. Not quite the same but I’ll take it.

How do you define success?

The internal knowledge I did my best.

What is the one thing you most want from your followers?

Feedback, feedback, feedback, feedback!

What is the one thing you most want to give the people you follow?

Hope

How do you define the difference between positive and negative criticism?

You can learn from all feedback if you can peel your ego away. Try not to curse too much.

How do you deal with moments when a blogger you like posts something you don’t like?

I’m all ears……everyone has an opinion, doesn’t mean there’s not another side to story.

Is your blog a journal, a literary experiment, performance art or none of that?  

I have three blogs each are different and are what the followers want’s them to be.

What is success as a blogger?  

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Feeling good about the post you write or information you share. The icing is always comments, but the world is moving faster and it’s hard for people to always take the time.

By your definition, do you consider yourself successful?

I’m successful in life by putting one foot in front of the other. Any day out of bed is a great day and leaving the house gives me the chills.

Questions (You can make your own up if you like, be a rebel) 

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What song do you listen to that always pumps you up?

As a child did you color inside the lines?

Best vacation parents ever took you on?

As a teenager what was dream job? Did you find your dream?

The first and last song on your playlist?

Walking along the surf or jump in for swim?

Two examples of a perfect day.

Hiking or Parasailing?

Before Blogging did you write journals, professionally?

THE AWARD WOULD NOT SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY IF I HAD TO PICK 11 BLOGS. INSTEAD THIS IS A SHOUT OUT TO ALL THAT FOLLOW LOOKING FOR THE LIGHT BLOG AND SURVIVORS BLOG HERE. I WOULD BE REMISS IF I DID NOT MENTION THE CONTRIBUTORS OF SURVIVORS BLOG HERE. BOTH HAVE TRUELY CHANGED MY DAYS, WEEKS AND YEARS. ESPECIALLY MY SICKEST YEARS. 

INSERT YOUR NAME HERE AND SPREAD SUNSHINE.

 

artistic blossom bright clouds
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Moving Forward

Interview with David Kanigan

I had the pleasure of interviewing David Kanigan at Live & Learn http://www.davidkanigan.com. He is well-loved as reflected by the large number of glowing comments left by followers. He is funny, gracious and well read. David thank you for taking time to talk, play phone tag, it was a pleasure.

As a child did you color inside the lines?  Always between the lines. ALWAYS!

Best vacation parents ever took you on? We used to go to Radium Hot Springs in the summer. They had large swimming pools.  Here’s the link: https://www.radiumhotsprings.com

As a teenager what was dream job? Did you find your dream? I was born and raised in a small town in British Columbia.  My dream job was to work in NY. I work in NY!

The first and last song on your playlist? I rotate my playlists so there is no constant first and last. And have an eclectic music taste. Love Dave Matthews Band. Many groups from 70’s (eg, Doobie Brothers, Fleetwood Mac, etc)

 

Walking along the surf or jump in for swim? Walking along the surf, for sure.

Two examples of a perfect day. Reading a great book. Saturday morning in solitude after a long work week.

Hiking or Parasailing? Neither. Suffer from acrophobia even though I fly a good deal for work.

Before Blogging did you write journals, professionally? Never wrote a stitch before blogging.

 

Melinda

 

Celebrate Life

GOD Bless The Declaration of Independence

Believe me, dear Sir: there is not in the British empire a man who more cordially loves a union with Great Britain than I do. But, by the God that made me, I will cease to exist before I yield to a connection on such terms as the British Parliament propose; and in this, I think I speak the sentiments of America.

— Thomas Jefferson, November 29, 1775[11]

Wikipedia

 

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Moving Forward

Triple Shot Thursday Celebrate Men of Motown

I love hearing the tunes of my youth, dancing around to Love Train. Get on your feet and let loose. I love to spin for you. Request line open 24/7. Have a great day.  Melinda

Celebrate Life

Special Times to Fly Your American Flag

Honor Our Flag is written with the assistance of the National Flag Foundation to ensure the accuracy of the content. These are special days beyond flying every day.

New Year’s Day, January 1

Martin Luther King’s Birthday, (third Monday in January)

Inauguration Day, January 20th

Lincoln’s Birthday, February 12th

Washing’s Birthday, February 22nd

Presidents Day, (third Monday in February)

Easter Sunday

Mother’s Day, (the second Sunday in May)

Peace Officers Day, May 15th (half-staff)

Armed Forces Day, (third Saturday in May)

Memorial Day, (the last Monday of May) fly half-staff until noon.

Melinda

Celebrate Life

Honor Thy Flag, How to Fly Flag Properly

I hope many of you are flying your flags high and proudly. Celebrating with friends of family or visiting the grave of a loved one. I bought this little book years are for my husband. Frankly, I didn’t know flying a flag had rules. I’m only going to share a glimpse of the book.

To show respect for the flag don’t let it touch anything below it such as ground, floor or water.

If hanging multiple flags, the American flag always first.

Unless you have an all-weather flag with a light shown on it, you need to take down during nighttime.

Your flag should stay inside if raining, snowing or the wind is blowing could tear your flag.

Memorial Day(half staff until noon) .

They last surprised me. How do you fly your flag?

M

Celebrate Life · Fun · Moving Forward

Triple Shot Thursday *Classic Rock Favs*

Each band influenced my early Rock & Roll experience. If I could only choose 100 LP’s, no doubt these are included. Have a great weekend. I love to spin for you.  M