I learned what The Day of the Dead meant by spending time in the New Orleans markets admiring the vignettes. It’s a huge celebration with family and friends welcoming back the souls of the dead.
The roots of the Day of the Dead, celebrated in contemporary Mexico and among those of Mexican heritage in the United States and around the world, go back some 3,000 years, to the rituals honoring the dead in pre-Columbian Mesoamerica. The Aztecs and other Nahua people living in what is now central Mexico held a cyclical view of the universe, and saw death as an integral, ever-present part of life.
During contemporary Day of the Dead festivities, people commonly wear skull masks and eat sugar candy molded into the shape of skulls. The pan de ánimas of All Souls Day rituals in Spain is reflected in pan de muerto, the traditional sweet baked good of Day of the Dead celebrations today. Other food and drink associated with the holiday, but consumed year-round as well, include spicy dark chocolate and the corn-based drink called atole. You can wish someone a happy Day of the Dead by saying, “Feliz día de los Muertos.”
The Day of the Dead celebration sounds very interesting, having the soul of a loved one appear could be life-changing.
No More has announced that No MORE Week is on March 2nd through March 8th, 2025. This Summit is one way to participate and it’s free. The knowledge you gain could save your own life or that of another.
Join us for the NO MORE Week 2025 Tech Summit: Empowering or Endangering – Tech’s Impact on Domestic and Sexual Violence
Attend the NO MORE Week 2025 Tech Summit, a special online event exploring the impacts of technology on domestic and sexual violence, including innovations and dangers. Hear from global experts on the latest research, policy changes, product development, and more.
What should you expect:
Discover the latest global trends in tech-facilitated abuse to gain insight into how technology is exploited by abusers to inflict harm.
Delve into the role of technology in promoting safety and fostering connections.
Have the opportunity to hear from survivors who have experienced various forms of abuse and, importantly, hear their suggestions for change.
Participate in stimulating conversations and workshops led by industry professionals.
Contribute to the generation of innovative ideas that can instigate the necessary systemic changes to address these critical issues.
Equip yourself with the knowledge and resources to make a tangible impact on survivors of domestic and sexual violence. This is an opportunity to be a part of the movement and provide vital support to those in need.
Who should attend:
Survivors of domestic and sexual violence and those closest to them.
Those working with people who have experienced domestic or sexual violence, advocates, and activists
Tech companies and professionals
Legislators
Police and agencies in the Criminal Justice System
Financial institutions
Healthcare professionals or those working in emergency response services
Academics
If you have any questions, please contact info@nomore.org
Empowering or Endangering?: Tech’s Impact on Domestic and Sexual Violence
Paula is so talented, she sings, dances, choreographs, and was even an NFL Cheerleader Coach. She’s her own person and although she may not be very tall, no one is going to walk over her.
It’s the weekend!!!!!!
I’m glad you joined me this week for another edition of Weekend Music Share.
Have a great weekend!
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
Chronic illness is hard to live with, but coping by responding with excessive positivity can suppress our real feelings.
Those who live with chronic illnesses know all too well how frequently people shower you with meaningless platitudes like “just be positive” and “mind over matter.”
Of course, how we feel mentally affects our physical health, but being chronically ill also sucks sometimes. It’s OK to acknowledge that reality. But often, when we do, we’re told we’re being overdramatic or to force ourselves to “think our way back to being healthy.”
It’s time to reject toxic positivity and find coping mechanisms that actually work for you instead of methodologies that punish you for having “negative feelings.”
What is toxic positivity?
“Toxic positivity is an expectation that no matter how serious a situation or diagnosis is, a person should maintain an ongoing optimistic and positive outlook and attitude regardless of how serious the circumstances are,” said Chicago-based clinical social worker Iris Waichler, MSW, LCSW.
This invasive method of communication shows up in countless ways, often slipping out of people’s mouths without them even noticing. Sometimes, it comes from the inside, led by an internal battle to just “get over it,” but it typically arises when people place their life view onto others.
“Toxic positivity often looks like someone giving you a motivational quote instead of actually listening, helping, or being there for you,” said Kitty Underhill, a body and self-acceptance coach from London, England. “For example, you could be struggling and communicating that to a friend, and they shut down the conversation with a statement like ‘good vibes only’ or dismissing it as being ‘low frequency.’
“Toxic positivity also looks like using buzzphrases like ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ and telling you that you need to have a more positive attitude rather than hearing you out — it’s an emotional cop-out,” she added.
The impact of toxic positivity is wide-ranging and pervasive, sometimes hiding beneath the surface for years before we’re able to recognize that it’s prevented us from feeling the full spectrum of human emotion without feeling guilty for not being cheerful enough for those around us.
“Toxic positivity may cause people to believe their feelings are not worthwhile, create self-doubt and shame, and make them believe their feelings are invalid,” said Waichler. “The unintended consequences may be enhanced insecurity, which lessens self-confidence and self-worth.”
How can it show up in our lives with chronic illness?
The effects may largely be the same, but chronically ill people deal with another poisonous layer when facing toxic positivity: disbelief.
Too often, disabled and chronically ill people are encouraged to “think themselves well” because it’s “mind over matter,” but this neglects reality. A positive outlook can improve someone’s overall well-being. However, it’s not a magical cure for incurable illness.
“A healthy person may not have a real understanding of the physical, medical, and psychological ramifications that chronic illness has on an individual,” Waichler said. “A healthy person’s attempt to “cheer them up” or be unrealistically positive can create feelings of alienation, resentment, and anger for the person on the receiving end.”
Toxic positivity is dismissive because it discards their feelings, insisting that they be processed on the other person’s terms. Unsurprisingly, this is a common occurrence between people with and without chronic illnesses, as it’s easily assumed that we’re being overdramatic or exaggerating our symptoms.
Faced with an onslaught of forced cheerfulness and disbelief, submitting to toxic positivity sometimes feels like the only option, but chronically ill and disabled people deserve to be heard.
“It can be easy to fall for toxic positivity, especially when a lot of ableism depends on disabled folks not speaking up about what they are experiencing and overriding their own comfort and pain levels to make abled folks feel more comfortable,” said Underhill.
“We must remember that toxic positivity is another way of shutting down unpalatable emotions and that our emotions still deserve to be heard and expressed,” she added.
Understanding the difference between toxic positivity and genuine positivity
“Genuine positivity makes space for the negative and doesn’t try to write it off or bat it away,” said Underhill. “Genuine positivity helps you to see things from different angles and perspectives, which can be helpful if we’re getting tunnel vision from feeling hopeless, angry, or upset from experiencing chronic pain issues.”
Where genuine positivity leaves spaces for pain while searching for light, comparatively, toxic positivity shuts down the conversation and obliterates the beautiful spectrum of our emotions.
Resisting the seductive pull of toxic positivity is exhausting, and sometimes, we fall under its spell before it’s possible to throw up a shield.
“If you’ve succumbed to toxic positivity, consider taking a step back to evaluate why you acquiesced,” said Carissa Hodgson, LCSW, OSW-C, director of programs and community outreach at Bright Spot Network and a clinical social worker. “Is it because you don’t have anyone who can authentically support you? Are you struggling with accepting your feelings about an experience? What is it that you need?”
Building your defenses
“To get rid of toxic positivity, it’s worth asking yourself the question, ‘Why do I feel like I cannot hold space for harder emotions?’” said Underhill.
“It’s also worth remembering that no emotion has a moral value. Emotions are not ‘good’ or ‘bad,’” she added. “Emotions are information that we can learn from and take into account.”
Allow yourself to feel everything you need to feel by granting yourself the gift of patience. There is no better defense against toxic positivity than the freedom to feel your emotions without judging them or suffocating them.
Confronting the toxic positivity around us
Try to practice patience when dealing with toxically positive people. It’s hard when you’re so regularly bombarded with it, but know that they are probably trying to empathize. It’s human instinct to jump straight to suggesting solutions. We all do it, even when it’s unwanted.
“Understand that the person is trying to be helpful,” said Waichler. “Help them to then understand how what they said makes you feel.
“Tell a well-meaning loved one with toxic positivity that you appreciate that they are trying to be supportive and positive about your medical condition,” she continued.
Developing healthier coping mechanisms
It’s crucial to develop additional coping mechanisms that manage the mental impact of chronic illness to resist the lure of toxic positivity long term.
“Educate yourselves about the medical condition and how it will progress so your expectations are realistic,” advised Waichler. “It will help you prepare for changes that will evolve in the future.”
Broaden your circle of friends to ensure that your support network is full of people who will understand your experiences with chronic illness. Your loved ones will support you, but unless they also have a chronic illness, they will struggle to understand. Fellow chronically ill people may be better suited to supporting you without relying on toxic positivity to do so.
However, be wary, too. Even the most well-developed support groups can fall prey to toxic positive influences.
“Toxic positivity is often a trojan horse found in online support groups and discussion boards — seemingly helpful and cheery but completely dismissive of the real struggles people are having,” said Hodgson.
As an additional shield, she suggests that people “Create an empowering mantra that entitles you to your feelings, such as ‘My feelings are real’ or ‘I have a right to feel how I want to feel,’ so when you see a dismissive statement, you can repeat your mantra to yourself and keep on reading.”
Medically reviewed on April 20, 2024
I can see how someone chronically ill can fall deep into the positivity route, it feels good at first but over time it overshadows the reality of being chronically ill. As mentioned in the post, many days suck and we can’t just cover them up as if they don’t exist. I’m all for positive energy but if someone just wants to change your thoughts and act like everything is ok, they are not doing you any favor.
Thank you for visiting my blog. I truly appreciate you stopping by. I hope you found a post or two you could relate to and will return soon. I have not been to your home countries, but they are all on my bucket list.
I’m sending you and your family well wishes for health and happiness.
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series. I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week, we highlight the blog of Peerless Cynic. I have followed Charlie for some time now and thoroughly enjoy his posts. I’m not usually one for poetry but his is short, makes total sense, is seamless, and not to mention the photos he adds photos that are a perfect fit.
From the serious to the satirical, modest musings on topics ranging from politics to culture to nature, with a side dish of photography. Or, an ill-defined adventure destined for great pings. In any case, how can we avoid being cynical?
My name is Charlie and I hail from Nova Scotia, Canada. I’m a semi-retired IT consultant who has traveled throughout the U.S. and Canada and also a nature photography, a hobby I started PeerlessCynic mostly as a way to express political commentary and satire, always with a good dose of humor. While I still write about those topics the blog itself increasingly became mostly about nature. Over time my love of nature photography expanded to include little vignettes or stories about the pictures themselves, a kind of attempt, for better or worse, to capture that peaceful sensibility of the woods.
My hobbies include playing guitar, reading and hiking. I am most definitely a hobby writer rather than a published writer, but I do enjoy it and hope from time-to-time others do as well.
All my photos are from my travels around Nova Scotia, the many lakes and hidden gems. I have so many favorites and each one has its own story. But a few stand out for sure. One photo under the title of ‘Faraway Woods’ is special, as that trip was one of the last I took with my father before he passed. As I took the shot, he was nearby enjoying that beautiful vista. Fishing and being in the woods were his favorite things, and I guess some of that rubbed off on me.
Another is under the title ‘Woven in the Sun’, a lovely sunset on a lake near the Musquodoboit valley in Nova Scotia. Of all the lakes I’ve visited this one stands out as the finest one for sunsets, a very inspiring place indeed.
And probably one of the most visited spots for me is a well travelled place called Triplet Lake, one in a series of lakes not too far outside Halifax, which inspired the poem ‘By the Lake’, a piece that in a way sums up my love of the woods.
I asked Charlie a couple of questions that you will find interesting.
M. How and when did you get into writing poetry?
C. I’ve always had a special affinity to nature even when I was very young, in fact as far back as I can remember. When I began the nature photography, I just suddenly had all these ideas in my mind that I had to get down on paper, which began probably around 2013. I was imaging the forest and the rivers and so on in conversation with each other, the connectivity of the natural world. So I suddenly created an interesting outlet for myself with the poetry to try and express those connections, as well as the harmony of nature. The results are mixed as you can see, but I do enjoy the challenge of creating these little stories, of recreating that feeling of peace that I’ve always had while in nature.
M. Your photography skills are breathtaking, when did you pick up photography?
C. I’ve always had a fascination with expression mainly through writing but also nature photography, a hobby I developed rather late in life.
October was full of informative awareness months, and November will also be. The list is extensive, if you want to read about all the awareness months and days, click here.
Awareness Months
Native American Heritage Month
Movember
National Homeless Youth Awareness Month
COPD Awareness Month
Diabetes Awareness Month
Epilepsy Awareness Month
Lung Cancer Awareness Month
Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month
Awareness Days
International Stress Awareness Day – November 2
World Adoption Day – November 9
Veterans Day – November 11th
Humane Society Anniversary Day – November 22
National Recycling Day – November 15
International Day for Tolerance – November 16
International Transgender Day of Remembrance – November 20
International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day – 1st Saturday before Thanksgiving
That is one of the smartest things I’ve heard from any President.
Many will vote for a Presidential candidate and only for a particular party, not looking at both candidates to see who is best for America. For America to shift gears, we all must vote for who we think is best for America for the next four years. Every voice needs to be heard.
Be aware of
Last Presidential election some Republican volunteers were very aggressive at some polling places across the country. The worst story I saw on the news was about volunteers being aggressive by taking photos of people’s vehicles and license tags, taking photos of their children, getting in their faces yelling obscenities, and making threats. I didn’t experience that and I don’t think it was widespread but it is clearly voter intimidation. If you experience any intimidation tell the Polling Manager and call the police. We can’t tolerate this type of behavior.
Every American has the right to vote, please use your voice to help shape the next four years.
We are all different, yet we’re the same. I understand that many religions condemn any behavior that doesn’t fit their box and some are driven strongly by their religion. What we must not lose sight of is that we are equal.
The Early Gay Rights Movement in America
In 1924, Henry Gerber, a German immigrant, founded in Chicago the Society for Human Rights, the first documented gay rights organization in the United States. During his U.S. Army service in World War I, Gerber was inspired to create his organization by the Scientific-Humanitarian Committee, a “homosexual emancipation” group in Germany.
Gerber’s small group published a few issues of its newsletter “Friendship and Freedom,” the country’s first gay-interest newsletter. Police raids caused the group to disband in 1925—but 90 years later, the U.S. government designated Gerber’s Chicago house a National Historic Landmark.
Where and when is LGBTQ History Month Celebrated?
In the United States, LGBTQ History Month is celebrated every October. Canada and Australia also celebrate it this month. It is also recognized in the United Kingdom (in February), Hungary (in February), Finland (in November), and Berlin (in June).
And this past year in May, Cuba became the first country in Latin America to celebrate it. Italy also celebrated its first one this year in April.
How It Started
Every October, people around the world celebrate LGBT History Month, a time to honor the contributions and achievements of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people.
The first LGBT History Month wound up sparking over 150 events across the country in its first year, and the rest, as they say, is history.
In 2005, the UK became the first country to celebrate LGBT+ History Month, starting the journey towards a more inclusive world.
While it was first known as Lesbian and Gay History Month, the coordinating committee soon added “bisexual” to the title. It has subsequently become known as LGBTQ+ History Month.
Iconic Queer Figures to Honor
There are endless LGBTQ figures to honor this month, but here a few icons to start with:
Bayard Rustin, who organized the March on Washington in 1963, where Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech took place
The lead singer has a great voice, love that special twang he does. The video looks like a ton of fun and half orgy. What do you think?
It’s the weekend!!!!!!
I’m glad you joined me for another edition of Weekend Music Share this week.
Have a great weekend!
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
Loneliness is more prevalent than ever — especially for people with chronic or invisible illnesses. Even when it feels difficult or impossible, here’s how you can stay socially connected.
If you live with a chronic illness, you likely know that loneliness is often an unexpected side effect. A chronic illness is a long lasting or permanent condition that requires ongoing medical treatment or limits activities of daily living. Examples include Crohn’s disease, endometriosis, fibromyalgia, and many other conditions.
And when your days are filled with attending doctor’s appointments, feeling too crummy to socialize, and constantly explaining your condition when you do make it out, it’s really no surprise that loneliness and chronic illness go hand in hand.
But now, this problem is becoming more prevalent than ever. The United States Surgeon General released an advisory in May 2023 calling attention to “the public health crisis of loneliness, isolation, and lack of connection in our country.”
If you’re living with a chronic illness, it can be helpful to create your own strategy for staying connected with others and preventing loneliness as much as possible. Take a look at why this is so important, as well as some accessible ideas to try.
The relationship between loneliness and chronic illness
People who live with chronic illness often feel the impact of isolation more than those without a chronic condition. Illness-related factors that can contribute to loneliness include:
being unable to socialize due to symptoms, fatigue, or pain
losing friends as a result of your illness
missing out on school, work, and hobbies
feeling as if nobody understands your condition and your lifestyle
managing a schedule crowded with medical appointments or hospitalizations
If your illness is mostly or entirely invisible, this can lead to even more feelings of isolation as you try to explain what’s going on in your body. And since the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, many people with chronic illnesses have found that their loneliness has gotten even worse as they have continued to be conscientious about keeping their already-fragile bodies safe.
Even when you’re feeling relatively well, it can be hard to socialize. Chronic illness is often unpredictable, and our society isn’t set up to accommodate it. Fear of stigma or ableism might keep you at home. Or you may find that every ounce of your limited energy goes into school or work, with nothing left over for a social life.
Consequences of loneliness
Long-term loneliness can be a serious issue. The report from the Surgeon General stated that for older adults especially, the physical health consequences of a lack of connection include:
29% increased risk of heart disease
32% increased risk of stroke
50% increased risk of developing dementia
A lack of social connection also increases the risk of premature death by more than 60%. And loneliness and isolation increase the risk of mental health conditions such as depression, creating a vicious cycle.
Tips on preventing loneliness with a chronic illness
When symptoms and appointments dictate your life, it can feel nearly impossible to increase your social connection. But doing so is crucial for your mental and emotional health. Here are a few accessible ideas to try.
Start small
If the thought of ramping up your social life feels overwhelming, it’s OK to start small and take off the pressure, thinking in terms of acquaintances instead of best friends. Even “micro-interactions,” such as waving at your mailman or thanking a cashier, can give you a boost of connection.
Send someone a message on social media instead of passively scrolling, or go to a coffee shop on your next low-symptom day so you can be around people even if you aren’t directly speaking with them. These simple actions can have a bigger impact than you might think.
Find a community
Connecting with people who also live with chronic illness can stave off loneliness by reminding you that you aren’t the only one. Look for a support group run by a hospital or nonprofit — your doctor may have ideas. Or search online for a community similar to Bezzy. You’ll find countless social media groups, forums, and Zoom events created for people who live with certain conditions or chronic illness in general (including those who don’t have a diagnosis).
As you spend time with people who have similar experiences, it will become easier to articulate and explain your condition to people who aren’t sick.
Adopt a pet
Animals can help reduce stress and loneliness, and pet ownership is associated with lower levels of social isolation in adults. A pet is great company and can help you feel loved and needed.
If you can, consider adopting a pet. If you can’t put a lot of effort into caring for a pet due to your physical symptoms, look into a low-maintenance pet such as an adult cat. Or see if you can do any of the following from time to time:
care for or visit a friend’s or neighbor’s pet
visit a cat cafe
volunteer for low-energy tasks at a local humane society
visit a dog show, dock diving competition, or other pet-related event
Find a therapist
A therapist, counselor, or other mental health professional can help you navigate the mental and emotional side of chronic illness, including thoughts like “My illness makes me unworthy of friendship” and “Connection isn’t worth it.”
Look for a therapist who specifically focuses on clients with chronic illness. Ask your doctor for suggestions or search online. If you cannot pay for therapy, look into sliding-scale options or services offered by a nonprofit or community center.
Stay in touch
Remember, your social connections don’t always have to be big. If you can make it out for a night on the town, great! But if not, make sure you’re still doing something to stay in touch with the people you love.
Use email, social media platforms, phone calls, texting, or whatever communication method works for you. Planning video calls ahead of time might work best for one chronically ill person’s symptoms and schedule, while answering text messages on their own time could be better for somebody else.
Think about the options that are most accessible to you, and tell your family and friends that you want to intentionally catch up with them on a regular basis. Connecting with others as best you can will help you feel less isolated, even during flare-ups.
The bottom line
People are important. We need each other. We can’t live without each other. And even when it feels difficult or impossible, fighting for social connection is worth it.
Use these ideas to work around your chronic illness as you prioritize connection over isolation. Your body and mind will thank you.
I always wanted everything my Gramps had, so when I was still in the bottle, he put a small amount of coffee in it. I slurped with joy and still do.
In high school, I was not interested in being popular or joining a sorority but somehow, I got talked into rushing for a sorority. During rush week we had to go a week without washing our hair. It nearly killed me, but one night we all spent the night at the so-called leader’s house and it was the last straw for me. They spent the night talking about their boyfriends, drinking, sex, and how they were popular at school. I couldn’t care less and left and turned the page on that experience.
I was naive in high school, thinking the cheerleaders were all goody-two-shoes and virgins. Not so much! One night while hanging out at the library, our hang spot, a cheerleader I only knew from class asked me if I would drive her around to smoke a joint. SURE! I hadn’t smoked a joint in years. We parked not far from the library and stoked away, the whole time she talked about how all her boyfriend wanted was sex. Sex and smoking a joint, wow my eyes were opened.
The high school football quarterback wouldn’t even speak to me, I was friends with almost everyone but not him. He was above mere mortals. At the 20-year high school reunion, I looked very different than in high school and all he wanted to do was dance and get me to leave with him. It was funny. I was there with my future husband. Men tend to think with the wrong head.
I’m keeping this post short since the other topics were too heavy for this one. You can look forward to topics like agoraphobia, dementia, driving my husband’s truck the size of an aircraft carrier, and forgetting how to drive.
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series. I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their blog with you. This week, we highlight the blog Essence of Me. I only started following Jeiyanni in September and we struck up a conversation and I felt a connection to her. I think part of the reason is her personality, she’s positive but realistic, ambitious but knows she’s on the ground floor in her career and has big goals. She accomplished so much for her younger age and that tells me shows going straight up. She is a hard-working woman who graduated from Columbia and as she builds her career she works part-time at TJ Maxx and part-time teaching an after-school program.
I write because I have an overwhelming desire to immortalize whatever happens, or could possibly happen, onto the page. The act of writing is like a release, a form of physical therapy. I realize that one of the most prominent themes in my work is the idea of complex human emotions, circumstances, words, and actions. With my writing I feel that it is my duty to express all the things that are interesting, confusing, and difficult. I use my point of view to display a unique perspective in my pieces and characters. Overall, I just want to showcase the realities of people and human-to-human connection. I want to focus in on specific point-of-views of different characters- who’s the current main character of the story, and why do we care about their particular situation?
In this blog, you can find any and everything that embodies the essence of who I am. That includes thoughts, beliefs, pictures, pieces of writing, analytical essays, etc. If you’re interested in who I am as a person and a writer, I hope you’ll embark on this wonderful journey with me.
Ta-ta for now!
-Jeiyanni
I asked Jeiyanni a couple of questions:
M. What made you pursue a career in writing and why Columbia?
J. I think I just believed that since writing was my passion, that was what I should be doing with my life. My wish was (and still is) to be an author. So I went to Columbia College Chicago because it was a liberal arts school that was geared towards what I wanted to do in life. Because I don’t want to necessarily just be an author, but I also want to do different types of writing as well.
M. You started writing a young age, what was the draw to writing and what did you write about?
J. Initially I was drawn to writing in the second grade when I was talking crap about some classmates I didn’t like in my Winnie the Pooh journal 😆 but Idk, I think I just enjoyed that medium of being able to express myself and thus my passion for writing stories blossomed as well. But when I was younger, I would write stories on whatever topics came to mind from my little elementary school world. For example, some short books I wrote as a young child were “Granny’s Burgers” and “How to Avoid Arguments” lol.
We all feel hopeless at times throughout our lives, it is a natural part of growing but it’s a tad bit better if we have someone who understands and is in our corner. I think you will relate to her feelings on that day. Second-guessing ourselves is also a part of being young with so many directions and goals in front of us.
Be sure to stop by, say hello to Jeiyanni, pull up a chair, and stay awhile. Her personality will pull you in!
Social anxiety disorder — previously known as social phobia — is an anxiety disorder in which you experience persistent fear of social or performance situations, according to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). (1) People who have social anxiety disorder worry that they will behave in a way that will be embarrassing and humiliating and that they will be judged by others, particularly people they do not know well.
Suma Chand, PhD, director of the cognitive behavior therapy program in the department of psychiatry and behavioral neuroscience at St. Louis University School of Medicine in Missouri, says people who have social anxiety often feel they need to behave perfectly in social situations because they tend to imagine that others are superior to them and critical of them. They also have a longing for acceptance, but their fear of others’ judgment can keep them from finding it.
Social anxiety disorder consists of much more than the shyness or nervousness that many people feel in common social situations, such as going on a first date or giving a presentation (“stage fright”).
The condition can interfere with daily activities and even cause people to completely avoid social interactions, even though they often realize their anxiety is irrational. “I have often had my clients tell me how they are exhausted by social situations,” says Dr. Chand.
“This is because when they look back at these events, they see how their need to be perfect in social situations has caused them to experience high levels of anxiety before and during social situations,” she explains. “As a result, they often avoid many social situations — even though they feel bad about doing so.”
But, adds Chand, those with the disorder can learn to change the distortions in their thinking that lead to avoidance.
Signs and Symptoms of Social Anxiety Disorder
People who have social anxiety disorder tend to feel very anxious and self-conscious in common social situations. (2) Their fear that they will be judged by others can have a negative effect on school, work, and other daily activities, and can make it difficult for them to develop and sustain friendships.
When you have social anxiety disorder, common social fears include:
Attending parties and other social occasions
Eating, drinking, and writing in public
Meeting new people
Speaking in public
Using public restrooms
The anxiety of social anxiety disorder can also cause physical symptoms such as: (3,4)
Blushing
Profuse sweating
Nausea
Difficulty talking
Trembling
Rapid heart rate
Trouble catching your breath
Dizziness or lightheadedness
Muscle tension
According to the NIMH, when having to perform or be around other people, people who have social anxiety disorder tend to: (5)
Feel their “mind going blank”
Have a rigid body posture, make little eye contact, or speak with a very soft voice
Find it scary and challenging to be with other people, particularly strangers, and have a difficult time talking to them even though they want to communicate
Avoid places where there are other people
Signs and symptoms of social anxiety disorder can also include: (4)
Avoiding situations where you might be the center of attention
Having anxiety leading up to a feared activity or event
Spending time after a social situation reviewing your performance and finding flaws
Expecting the worst possible consequences from a negative social experience
Difficulty starting conversations, dating, entering a room in which people are already seated, returning items to a store, and other day-to-day experiences
Children may cry, have tantrums, cling to parents, or refuse to speak in social situations
Intense fear and anxiety only about speaking or performing in public (performance type of social anxiety disorder)
Causes and Risk Factors of Social Anxiety Disorder
There may be a genetic component to social anxiety disorder for some people. You’re more likely to develop the disorder if your biological parents or siblings have the condition. (4) However, scientists still don’t understand why some family members have the condition while others don’t. (5)
Research suggests that being raised by parents who engage in negative parental practices, such as being overprotective, overly anxious, or rejecting, may contribute to the development of social anxiety. (2)
Some researchers think misreading other people’s behavior may play a role in causing social anxiety or making it worse. For example, if you think people are staring or frowning at you when they are not. (5)
Underdeveloped social skills may also contribute to social anxiety disorder, although many people with the condition do not have a deficit in their social abilities.
Researchers are also investigating the roles that stress and environmental factors may play in causing social anxiety disorder.
Risk Factors
Several factors can increase your chances of developing social anxiety disorder, including: (4)
Risk Factors
Several factors can increase your chances of developing social anxiety disorder, including: (4)
Negative life experiences Children who are teased, bullied, rejected, ridiculed, or humiliated may be more likely to develop social anxiety disorder. Family conflict, trauma, abuse, or other negative life events may also be linked to the condition.
New social or work demands Meeting new people, giving a speech, or having to make an important presentation at work may trigger social anxiety disorder symptoms.
Having an appearance or condition that attracts attention Facial disfigurement, stuttering, tremors due to Parkinson’s disease, and other conditions can make people feel self-conscious and may trigger social anxiety disorder.
Shy temperament Children who are shy, timid, withdrawn, or restrained when dealing with new situations or people may have an increased risk of developing the disorder. People who have social anxiety disorder commonly say they were extremely shy as children. (However, social anxiety disorder and shyness are not the same thing.) (3)
How Is Social Anxiety Disorder Diagnosed?
To diagnose social anxiety disorder, your doctor may: (4)
Conduct a physical exam to help determine whether any medical condition or medication may be triggering your symptoms
Discuss your symptoms, how frequently they occur, and in what situations
Ask you whether certain situations make you feel anxious
Have you fill out self-report questionnaires about symptoms of social anxiety
Your healthcare provider will determine whether you have the criteria for social anxiety disorder as listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). These include:
Persistent, intense fear or anxiety about specific social situations because you fear you may be judged, embarrassed, or humiliated
Avoiding anxiety-provoking social situations or enduring them with intense fear or anxiety
Excessive anxiety that’s out of proportion to the situation
Anxiety or distress that interferes with your daily life
Fear or anxiety that is not due to a medical condition, medication, or substance abuse
Treatment and Medication Options for Social Anxiety Disorder
Treatment for social anxiety disorder is intended to help you function in your daily life. (2) The two most common types of treatment for social anxiety disorder are psychotherapy (psychological counseling or talk therapy), medications, or both. (4)
Psychotherapy helps most people with social anxiety disorder because it teaches you how to change negative thoughts about yourself. You also learn skills that help you gain confidence in social situations.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) has the most research support among psychotherapies for anxiety, and it works just as well whether it’s conducted individually or in groups.
In exposure-based cognitive behavioral therapy, you work up to facing the situations you fear most, little by little. This can help you develop the confidence you need to cope with anxiety-provoking social situations. You may also engage in social skills training or role-playing to practice your social skills.
CBT may even create positive changes in the brain. A study from 2017found that when those with social anxiety disorder participated in 10 weeks of CBT group therapy, it led to changes in parts of the brain that process and regulate emotions. (6) The changes were more pronounced when the therapy was most successful.
One of the greatest things about The Mayo Clinic’s awesome artwork collection is that it’s all donated by families or artists. Every possible type of art you can imagine is on display, and unfortunately, I could only capture a few. My husband took a few photos and I hope to provide them as well. The architecture in Rochester is very diverse so walking is a great way to capture great photos. There are many skyscrapers in the downtown area so catching a glimpse of them from an adjacent building with windows you can access is the perfect way to get a great shoot.
I get bored easily so I work hard at keeping my content fresh and up-to-date. Most of the changes are esthetic but I think they add some flair into who the person behind the words are. Please check out the updated page and share the good, bad, and ugly, I can take it.
I want to take one minute to thank all that have stopped by my blog over the years, left comments, the good conversations we’ve had, what we’ve learned from each other, and most importantly your friendship. The past 24 years of my life has been a learning journey, full of ups and downs but many of you have been there throughout the years and I send a special hug to you.
If you think something is missing in my description of my blog or about myself, please let me know that as well, that’s important information to have.
Thanks for coming along for the ride. What a ride it’s been.
The lyrics are something everyone can relate to, some more than others but we’ve all been hurt. Great music compilation.
It’s the weekend!!!!!!
I’m glad you joined me for another edition of Weekend Music Share this week.
Have a great weekend!
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
Breast Cancer Awareness Month is a month that has received a great deal of attention over the years due to the tremendous donations to support new treatment options. That does not mean we should look the other way and think it has enough attention. The success rate of survival has increased but there is still so much to know about Breast Cancer.
NBCF is dedicated to delivering comprehensive, educational information on breast health and healthy living. From understanding the importance of early detection, to knowing how to prepare for a mammogram, NBCF’s online resources and guides aim to empower women and men with useful information. View guides. Click here to learn more about breast self-examination steps.
The Patient Navigator Program is a proactive approach to helping patients overcome the barriers of cost, fear, and misinformation surrounding a disease and its prevention. Find a facility.
Other Resources
In addition to the breast care services that NBCF provides to women in need, the following resources offer financial assistance for breast cancer patients.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) provides access to breast cancer screening services to underserved women in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, 5 U.S. territories, and 12 tribal organizations.
The American Cancer Society (ACS) provides resource lists for free or low-cost mammograms and financial assitance based on your location. When you go to their website, Cancer.org, look for the “About Us” tab in the top right corner. When you click on that, select your state in the “Where We Help” menu to be directed to a list of local resources.
Breast and Cervical Cancer Treatment Program (BCCTP)
This state program is funded through Medicaid to provide underserved women free healthcare throughout treatment. The program is available in all 50 states. For the application process, contact your local hospital and ask to speak to a nurse or patient navigator regarding the program.
The CFAC is a coalition of organizations that help patients reduce financial barriers during cancer treatment. When you visit their website, select the type of assistance needed and enter your zip code to find resources near your area.
The Mammography Facility Database is updated periodically based on information received from the three FDA-approved accreditation bodies: the American College of Radiology (ACR), and the states of Arkansas and Texas to provide a list of facilities where mammography services are available based on your location.
Breast Cancer needs to be taken seriously by all and it starts with self-exams and reaching out at the first sign of trouble. You also need to keep your doctor aware of your family history because it can play a big role in whether to not you have the DNA makers for Breast Cancer. Always air on the cautious side.
I’m glad you joined me on Wordless Wednesday and I hope to see you soon.
This is a beautiful piece of handmade leaded glass of Dragon Flies. The first photo is hard to see becaue it mosted coved by a tree outside my office window but as you look to the sides of the galls the colors shine through. Seeing Dragon Flies always make me smile.
I’ve always questioned the value of seeing a reporting out in the hailing winds and rain trying to stand up, what is the point. We know there is a storm, the news is covering it in the studio and we have better photos of what is happening than the few feet the reporters are in.
Hurricane Milton crossed the line for me, all the major channels were reporting and it was so bad that several had close calls and one was hit in the face with debris. Is this what it comes to? Put employees at risk for their lives to show this channel will go further than the next. I drew the line.
Anderson Cooper was reporting from Bradenton, Florida, and was barely able to stand, the rain was pouring down and he reached won to show how deep the water was a was hit in the face by flying debris. He sought safety after that. the situation could have been much worse.
The National Hurricane Center reported Milton reached Category 5 status twice and had maximum sustained winds of 120 mph when it hit Siesta Key, Florida, near where Anderson was reporting.
Anderson was working with Bill Weir who was in St Petersburg and was washed away. Why is this acceptable corporate behavior?
Social Media was blowing up with comments of concern for the safety of the reports but where were The corporations they work for? Do they feel this is dramatic television that people want to watch so they can make more money? Bullshit! This shows a total lack of care for human life!
Anderson was not the only reporter who put their life on the line, so did: Dylan Dryer and Ginger Zee and these are the ones I’ve heard of.
We have to stand up and say enough is enough! Let CNN, GMA, and The Today Show this cruel and unusual behavior by writing to the Media Corporations, taking to Social Media, and sending letters to your local media and your local political representative. Only we can make a difference because their employers will not.
There are thousands of stories and videos to read or watch of the hurricanes should you wish to relive the carnage.
I’m disgusted that Journalism has come to being thrown to the wolves. Long gone are the days when I wanted to be a Journalist. I won’t be treated like a piece of meat.
I pray to donate to the Red Cross or other legitimate charities on the ground to provide daily needs and support.
Yesterday we spent the day driving around in the countryside looking at farms and fields of solar panels. we went to his tiny lake, but the description did not match the actual place. It was a tiny man-made lake with a shoreline that kids swim in during the warmer months. We went to The Peace Center and watched a great program on Native American Indians, tribe members from all over the country participated. There were many different ceremonial dances by women and men, live tribal music, and singing. It was beautiful. Unfortunately, I left my phone behind and so far the photos my husband took are well….not so good.
We also checked out what building we needed to be at in the morning and where to park. We’re set. Tomorrow isn’t a long day. I will meet with an internal medicine doctor in the morning and pick up an oximeter machine on Tuesday night.
We have the late afternoon free if we don’t decide to take a nap. The weather is cold here and naps feel really good.
Wednesday starts early at 6:40 AM with blood work and closer to lunch a meeting with a Hematologist. I expect at least one diagnosis to come out of this meeting since most of the blood work being done is focused on the blood itself if that makes sense. One of the problems I currently have is that my hemoglobin is low which means it’s not carrying enough blood through my body.
Unless something is added to my program, I’m off on Thursday and back on Friday afternoon to meet with the Internal Medicine Doctor, I expect a diagnosis to come from this meeting.
Take good care of yourself and I’ll keep you posted if anything new comes up.
lookingforthelight.blog 