1/2 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice, plus more for sprinkling
1 1/2 cups whole milk
2 to 4 shots espresso or strong coffee (1 shot for normal strength, 2 for strong)
* Whipped cream, for serving
Directions
Add the pumpkin puree, maple syrup, vanilla and pumpkin pie spice to a medium saucepan and whisk to combine. Put the saucepan over medium heat and slowly whisk in the milk to combine. Bring the pumpkin milk mixture just to a boil.
Pour the mixture into a blender and whiz on low to medium for 30 seconds or until frothy.
Pour 1 shot into each mug (2 shots if you want it stronger) and top with half of the pumpkin milk mixture.
Top with whipped cream and a sprinkle of pumpkin pie spice.
Cook’s Note
To make the recipe vegan or dairy free you can use almond or other plant-based milk and top with coconut whipped cream.
I have updated the resources for Fibromyalgia and as always continue to look for more. I created this page to add to Organizations That Can Help pull down menus but because I don’t do it often, it’s not showing up in the right place yet. I’m working on because these resources are critical.
Uninsured Americans gain access to immediate savings on prescription products right at their neighborhood pharmacies AND resources that help people take care of what’s most important—their health.
RxHope is exactly what its name implies…a helping hand to people in need in obtaining critical medications that they would normally have trouble affording. We act as your advocate in making the patient assistance program journey easier and faster by supplying vital information and help.
NeedyMeds is not a patient assistance program, but rather a source of information on thousands of programs that may be able to offer assistance to people in need. NeedyMeds does not have an application, nor can we answer questions about individual assistance programs. We strive to provide accurate and current information, but ask that you contact specific programs directly with questions.
Helps consumers save money on medical expenses — everything from drugs to x-rays — by giving them access to a nationwide database that estimates a “fair price” for watever they’re paying for.
Nationwide Prescription Assistance Program (PAP) sponsored by a non-profit organization to help all Americans lower their prescription drug costs. This program has LOWEST PRICE LOGIC to guarantee that you get the best deal on your prescriptions. – See more at: http://freedrugcard.us/#sthash.IbJo8Fdh.dpuf
Here’s a clear comparison chart of the major third‑party supplement testing seals and what each one guarantees. This way, when you’re shopping, you’ll know exactly what to look for on the bottle to avoid “mystery pills” that may not dissolve or contain what they claim.
Supplement Quality Seals
Major Supplement Testing Labels & What They Mean
Seal / Program What It Tests What It Guarantees
USP Verified (U.S. Pharmacopeia) Identity, strength, purity, dissolution Contains listed ingredients in correct amounts, free of harmful contaminants, dissolves properly
NSF Certified for Sport Same as NSF + banned substances Safe for athletes, tested for doping‑related substances
ConsumerLab Approved Independent product testing Confirms ingredient amounts, screens for contaminants, tests dissolution when relevant
Informed Choice / Informed Sport Sports nutrition supplements Tested for banned substances, safe for athletes under anti‑doping rules
BSCG Certified Drug Free® Broad contaminant & banned substance testing Screens for >500 drugs, contaminants, and label accuracy
Labdoor Certification Independent lab analysis Ranks supplements for purity, label accuracy, and value
International Seals (Canada NPN, Australia TGA, Japan FOSHU) Country‑specific regulatory frameworks Confirms compliance with national supplement standards.
How to Use These Seals
Check the bottle: USP and NSF logos appear directly on packaging.
Verify online: ConsumerLab and Labdoor list approved products on their websites.
Athletes: Look for NSF Certified for Sport, Informed Sport, or BSCG seals to avoid banned substances.
Global shoppers: If buying international brands, check for NPN (Canada), TGA (Australia), or FOSHU (Japan).
Practical Takeaways
USP Verified is the most widely recognized for everyday vitamins and minerals
NSF Certified is especially important for protein powders, sports drinks, and supplements marketed to athletes.
ConsumerLab is great if you want independent reviews before buying, though you’ll need to check their website.
Informed Choice/Sport matters if you’re worried about banned substances in sports nutrition.
Choose the Right Form
Capsules and softgels often dissolve more reliably than hard tablets.
Powders and liquids can be easier to absorb if you’re worried about breakdown.
Buy from Trusted Retailers
Pharmacies, well‑known health stores, or established online platforms are safer than unknown sellers.
Ask Your Pharmacist or Doctor
They can recommend brands with proven absorption and safety.
Don’t waste your money on the hype of manufactures say about their products, they are not regulated by the FDA which means you do not know what the ingredients are and how they are tested.
Everything I’ve been through makes me who I am today, that’s not to say I don’t look for ways to improve my life. As far a physical self, I would not change anything. As Popeye said, “I am what I am”. Sure I could nit pick about my imperfections inside and out but I would rather look forward instead.
Are worries about tariffs, inflation, and the future of your 401(k) causing you to stress eat and lose sleep? Unfortunately, for most people, financial stress is nothing new.
“Studies have shown for decades that financial concerns are one of the leading causes of stress in our country, and until it is no longer a taboo topic, that’s not likely to change,” says Ashley Agnew, director of financial wellness and certified financial therapist at Centerpoint Advisors in Needham, Massachusetts.
Chronically high levels of anxiety about money can take a toll on your well-being, and even increase the likelihood of chronic illnesses like high blood pressure and heart disease.
All of this points to the importance of learning coping strategies that can help you manage financial stress and protect your mental and physical health.
When Financial Stress Becomes Toxic
“Normal financial stress tends to be situational; it’s often based on a specific event like moving or the holidays,” says Megan McCoy, PhD, associate professor at Kansas State and certified financial therapist in Manhattan.
If financial stress isn’t based around a specific event, and lasts more than three months, this may be a sign that your stress is turning into financial anxiety that may negatively impact your health, says Dr. McCoy.
According to McCoy, signs that could indicate severe or chronic financial stress include:
Persistent worries, panic attacks, excessive rumination about bills or debts, and fear of checking bank balances — or going in the other direction, and compulsively checking bank or retirement balances
Physical symptoms like recurrent headaches, stomachaches, or sleeping difficulties due to financial woes
Avoiding looking at or paying bills
Overusing alcohol and drugs to cope
Overspending due to anxiety or hopelessness
Relationship issues such as frequent arguments, withholding financial information from a partner, and lying about spending
How Financial Stress Impacts Your Health
Financial stress that’s gotten out of control can have health consequences.
Mental Health Issues
“People who have higher financial stress are at greater risk for anxiety disorders and clinical depression,” says McCoy.
Research suggests that financial strain — basically, the inability to cover expenses with available resources — is significantly associated with depression.
A review of 40 studies concluded that financial stress was linked with a greater likelihood of experiencing depression across all income levels, although this link was stronger for people with low incomes.
An online survey of over 1,600 adults found that 42 percent reported financially related panic or anxiety attacks. Younger generations such as Gen Zers and Millennials were particularly affected, with nearly half reporting these attacks — nearly double the rate found among Baby Boomers.
Shame and guilt can creep in due to financial stress, says McCoy. “Clients in financial therapy often describe feelings of unworthiness or guilt around unpaid debts or perceived poor financial decisions, making mental distress even worse,” she says.
A report on how financial stress impacts work found that worries about money caused a 34 percent increase in absenteeism and tardiness, and that financially stressed employees miss about twice as many work days each year compared with their non-financially-stressed counterparts.
Financial stress can also lead to negative coping behaviors, says McCoy. “Alcohol or drugs may be used to numb stress, creating dual crises — financial and addictive — that require integrated therapy approaches,” she says.
Sleep Problems
“People often report difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep when debts or bill payments weigh heavily on the mind,” says McCoy.
Experiencing financial strain is linked with insomnia, poor sleep quality, and not sleeping the recommended amount.
While a restless night here and there isn’t cause for concern, sleep issues that persist and become chronic can increase the likelihood of many chronic conditions, including dementia, heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and even cancers of the breast, colon, ovaries, and prostate.
Heart Disease and Other Chronic Illness
Stress triggers a series of physical reactions — your heart rate quickens, muscles tense, and breathing quickens — thanks to increased levels of the stress hormonescortisol and adrenaline (which act like messengers, readying the body to cope with a perceived threat).
If this response is chronic, as can be the case with financial stress, it can lead to problems like hypertension, high cholesterol, and muscle pain.
Research suggests that people who are frequently stressed about having enough money to pay their rent or mortgage have double the risk of heart disease compared with people who saw themselves as financially secure.
A review of five studies that looked at heart health outcomes found that people under financial stress had a 19 percent greater risk for heart disease or a major cardiac event like a stroke or heart attack.
Financial stress has also been linked to worse biological health as measured by inflammatory biomarkers. Researchers found that financial strain was “the most detrimental to biological health,” compared with other kinds of stress, including death of a loved one or divorce, although the study authors said that more research was needed to confirm this finding. They theorized financial stress was the hardest on the body because it can affect so many areas of life, “leading to family conflict, social exclusion, and even hunger or homelessness.”
And for people who already have chronic conditions or health issues, financial stress may exacerbate the problems. “When money is scarce, people are more likely to skip doctor visits, ignore recommended treatments, or fail to fill prescriptions,” says McCoy.
How to Cope With Financial Stress
There are ways to manage financial stress that don’t involve winning the lottery. Remember, financial wellness is about feeling secure about your money matters (even if funds are low) and not feeling overwhelmed to the point where it takes a toll on your health.
“Acknowledging the problem is essential — avoidance only heightens fear,” says McCoy.
With her clients, McCoy normalizes stress around money and finances by reminding clients that many people struggle with the same issues and that help is available. “This helps them move past shame to tangible action,” she says.
From a financial therapy standpoint, improvement usually takes both practical financial steps and attention to emotional/behavioral patterns. McCoy suggests a potential plan of attacking your financial fears:
Create a realistic budget or spending plan. Track income and expenses, prioritize needs, and set attainable goals, like saving to create a small emergency savings target.
“A values-based approach can help you align spending with personal or family values, making the process more meaningful and less punitive,” McCoy says.
Engage professional support. Work with a financial counselor or planner to help with debt management, savings strategies, and long-term planning.
These financial wellness specialists include certified credit counselors, accredited financial counselors (AFC), or financial therapists who are trained to integrate financial knowledge with mental health.
Leverage workplace or community resources. Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) often provide free short-term counseling and financial education. Additionally, community nonprofits like cooperative extension offices or local credit unions may host free classes on budgeting or debt management.
Incorporate stress-management techniques. Consistent exercise, mindfulness, or journaling about money anxieties can help reduce the emotional intensity of financial worries.
Build an emergency savings fund a little at a time. Even $50 a month can accumulate into a basic safety net. Small, steady progress fosters a sense of accomplishment, which is key to reducing stress.
The Takeaway
A certain amount of stress is normal, particularly when it is situational and related to a specific event.
Chronic financial stress, however, can harm both mental and physical health, increasing the risk of anxiety, depression, sleep problems, and heart disease.
While you can’t control all your financial stressors, you may be able to manage your response through realistic budgeting, professional support, and stress-reducing habits.
Good question for which I have mixed answers for. I naturally tend towards being a night person because I love to sleep in a bit however during my working years, being a morning person was not an option and in fact towards the end of my career, I enjoyed waking up early to have a cup of coffee at home instead of on the way to work, to me coffee doesn’t taste the same while driving.
Now, I’m a bit of both because many nights I can’t sleep or sleep only a couple of hours which means I tend to take a nap mid-morning.
I’ve not been one to jump out of bed at 5:00 am to greet the day, what am I going to do at that hour?
I did the search on Copilot using my age however the same is true for everyone, mega dosing does not give you extra benefits and can be harmful.
No — a 62‑year‑old woman who is not very active does not need vitamin or mineral intakes above the recommended daily amounts. In fact, exceeding them can be harmful. What matters most is meeting the recommended levels, especially for nutrients like calcium, vitamin D, and vitamin B12, which become more important with age.
Key Points for a 62‑Year‑Old Woman
Recommended Daily Allowances (RDAs):
Vitamin A: 700 mcg
Vitamin B6: 1.5 mg
Vitamin B12: 2.4 mcg
Vitamin C: 75 mg
Vitamin D: 15 mcg (600 IU) until age 70, then 20 mcg (800 IU)
Calcium: 1,200 mg
Vitamin E: 15 mg
Folate: 400 mcg
Vitamin K: 90 mcg
Inactive lifestyle:
Energy needs are lower (about 1,600–1,800 calories/day for women 60+ who are sedentary).
Because fewer calories are consumed, it’s important to choose nutrient‑dense foods so that vitamin and mineral needs are met without excess calories.
No need for “megadoses”:
High percentages above the RDA don’t provide extra benefit for most vitamins.
Too much can be harmful — e.g., excess vitamin A can cause liver damage, excess calcium can increase kidney stone risk, and high vitamin E can raise bleeding risk.
Special considerations for older adults:
Vitamin D & Calcium: Needed for bone health; many older adults fall short.
Vitamin B12: Absorption decreases with age, so fortified foods or supplements may be necessary.
Fiber, potassium, magnesium: Often under‑consumed and important for heart and digestive health.
Practical Guidance
Stick to the recommended daily amounts — not higher.
Focus on a balanced diet: fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean protein, and low‑fat dairy.
Supplements should only be used if a doctor identifies a deficiency or absorption issue.
Avoid “high‑percentage” or “megadose” supplements unless medically prescribed
Cut each chicken breast into 4 or 5 large chunks; season with salt and pepper. Heat a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add the olive oil. Add the chicken and cook, turning, until browned on all sides and almost cooked through, 4 to 6 minutes. Remove to a plate.
Add 1 tablespoon butter to the skillet and reduce the heat to medium. Add the carrots and 1/2 cup water. Cover and simmer until the carrots are crisp-tender, 3 to 4 minutes. Uncover and increase the heat to medium high. Cook until the water evaporates, 1 minute.
Reduce the heat to medium and melt the remaining 1 tablespoon butter in the skillet. Add the asparagus, snow peas and 1/4 teaspoon salt. Cover and cook until the vegetables are crisp-tender, about 3 minutes. Return the chicken to the skillet along with the apricot preserves, mustard, scallions, tarragon and lemon zest. Simmer, tossing, until the preserves are melted and the chicken and vegetables are glazed; season with salt and pepper.
All animals big and small are important to our existence and since the beginning of mankind we have eaten meat for nourishment. The treatment of the animals and what they are feed came to my mind many years ago and I do still eat meat a couple of days a week.
When meat is on the menu including eggs, we buy organic, free-range, grass feed, non-GMO and anything else to make sure our food is clean and the animals were treated with care before death. Chickens are treated horribly, they live in crowded dirty cages and let’s not get started on what they are feed.
I choose to eat meat and care about the animals welfare at the same time. That will make sense to some and not others. To each his own.
It may surprise you that more boys and men are diagnosed with Eating Disorders than girls and women? Part of the reason for not reaching out is the stigma around Mental Health support and the lack of education about the disorder.
Eating Disorders are complex and treatment directed toward males can be limited. Helping someone overcome an Eating Disorder requires patience, therapy, or a stay at an in-house treatment center. I’ve only read a couple of books on Eating Disorders and will say it’s a very long road of relapses to reach recovery.
Due to their own stigma parents and family often overlook the early warning signs and do not reach out for help until it’s a crisis.
EATING DISORDERS IN MEN & BOYS
In the United States alone, eating disorders will affect 10 million males at some point in their lives. But due in large part to cultural bias, they are much less likely to seek treatment for their eating disorder. The good news is that once a man finds help, they show similar responses to treatment as women. Several factors lead to men and boys being under- and undiagnosed for an eating disorder. Men can face a double stigma, for having a disorder characterized as feminine or gay and for seeking psychological help. Additionally, assessment tests with language geared to women and girls have led to misconceptions about the nature of disordered eating in men according to the National Eating Disorder Association.
COMMON SYMPTOMS OF AN EATING DISORDER
Emotional and Behavioral Symptoms
In general, behaviors and attitudes that indicate that weight loss, dieting, and control of food are becoming primary concerns
Preoccupation with weight, food, calories, carbohydrates, fat grams, and dieting
Refusal to eat certain foods, progressing to restrictions against whole categories of food (e.g., no carbohydrates, etc.)
Appears uncomfortable eating around others
Food rituals (e.g. eats only a particular food or food group [e.g. condiments], excessive chewing, doesn’t allow foods to touch)
Skipping meals or taking small portions of food at regular meals
Any new practices with food or fad diets, including cutting out entire food groups (no sugar, no carbs, no dairy, vegetarianism/veganism)
Withdrawal from usual friends and activities
Frequent dieting
Extreme concern with body size and shape
Frequent checking in the mirror for perceived flaws in appearance
Extreme mood swings
Physical Symptoms
Noticeable fluctuations in weight, both up and down
Stomach cramps, other non-specific gastrointestinal complaints (constipation, acid reflux, etc.)
Menstrual irregularities — missing periods or only having a period while on hormonal contraceptives (this is not considered a “true” period)
Difficulties concentrating
Abnormal laboratory findings (anemia, low thyroid and hormone levels, low potassium, low white and red blood cell counts)
Dizziness, especially upon standing
Fainting/syncope
Feeling cold all the time
Sleep problems
Cuts and calluses across the top of finger joints (a result of inducing vomiting)
Dental problems, such as enamel erosion, cavities, and tooth sensitivity
Dry skin and hair, and brittle nails
Swelling around area of salivary glands
Fine hair on body (lanugo)
Cavities, or discoloration of teeth, from vomiting
Muscle weakness
Yellow skin (in context of eating large amounts of carrots)
Cold, mottled hands and feet or swelling of feet
Poor wound healing
Impaired immune functioning
The list of symptoms is long because it’s all-encompassing.
I encourage you to visit National Eating Disorder Association for a breakdown of the seven types of Eating Disorders and other behavioral and food concerns. Finding the underlying causes requires a trained professional in the right setting, an individual plan, and most importantly support from family and friends.
When looking for the right professional, talk with them about their approach and experience before introducing them to the patient. Finding the right approach may require research and time. It’s important to do this on the front end if possible. An approved method and training will make all the difference on the road to recovery. Disruptions during treatment can interfere with the recovery process making the patient resistant to continued treatment.
Leeks are a great side dish and are healthy. This dish is simple and doesn’t take long to cook, the perfect dish this holiday season. Best yet, it’s Gluten-Free.
Cut the leeks in half lengthwise. Rinse them liberally under cold water, removing all the dirt and sand from them while keeping the halves intact. Pat them dry.
Place leeks cut side up in a medium baking dish. Coat them with the olive oil and season with 2 big pinches of salt and 1 big pinch of pepper.
Roast until they are tender and golden brown, 35 minutes, and serve immediately.
Serves 4
I have more recipes and DIY projects on the way. Right now I’m working on a Pumpkin Spice Latte recipe.
Enjoy!
Melinda
The recipe is from Kristin Cavallari’s cookbook True Comfort
Nutritious vegetables and chunks of lean meat simmering in their own juices come together to create a simple yet hearty slow-cooker dish that’s perfect for chilly weather.
Ingredients
2 pounds beef chuck, cut into 1-inch cubes
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
2 tablespoons olive oil, plus more as needed
1 cup low-sodium beef stock1/2 cup red wine
One 15-ounce can no-salt-added diced tomatoes, in juice
2 russet or Yukon gold potatoes, peeled and cut into 1-inch cubes
2 celery stalks, diced
2 carrots, diced1 large onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 bay leaves1 tablespoon minced fresh thyme leaves
1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt
Tools
Measuring cups
Liquid measuring cup
Measuring spoons
Chef’s knife Cutting board
Can opener Vegetable peeler
Resealable plastic bag
Large skillet
Tongs
6-quart slow cooker
Wooden spoon
Directions
Working in 2 batches, combine the beef and flour in a resealable plastic bag; seal and shake until the beef is completely coated with flour. Set aside.
Heat the 2 tablespoons oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat (see Cook’s Note). Working in batches and adding more oil as necessary, add the beef in a single layer and cook, turning occasionally, until the beef is nicely brown on all sides, about 4 minutes. Transfer the beef to a 6-quart slow cooker.
Add the stock and red wine to the skillet and bring to a boil, scraping up the browned bits with a wooden spoon, and continue to boil until slightly reduced, about 1 minute. Transfer the liquid to the slow cooker. Add the remaining ingredients and stir to combine. Cook on low for 6 to 8 hours or high for 4 to 6 hours. The beef and vegetables should be tender.
Cook’s Note
Alternatively, use a slow cooker that can be placed on a stovetop to sear the beef.
Every month there is a long list of awareness months, weeks and days which is why I only include a partial list. I encourage you to read the full list, and you can find it by clickinghere or at the bottom of the post.
Just three?????? At 62, my peeves have changed as I age, thank goodness. Peeves are what I call my last nerve and there are more than three but the top ones are: being told what to do or think, abuse of any kind including animals, arrogance.
Outside of the three are: people who wallow in their problems, liars, are unkind and rude, and people who do not help others. Oh, I can’t forget, someone constantly reminding me of what I need to do and the ones who won’t take responsibly.
I’m far from perfect but no one is, my attitude has changed along with what I think is important. I shake the thoughts off after they happen but they pop-up the next time.
It’s surprising how physical grief can be. Your heart literally aches. A memory comes up that causes your stomach to clench or a chill to run down your spine. Some nights, your mind races, and your heart races along with it, your body so electrified with energy that you can barely sleep. Other nights, you’re so tired that you fall asleep right away. You wake up the next morning still feeling exhausted and spend most of the day in bed.
Amy Davis, a 32-year-old from Bristol, TN, became sick with grief after losing Molly, a close 38-year-old family member, to cancer. “Early grief was intensely physical for me,” Davis says. “After the shock and adrenaline of the first weeks wore off, I went through a couple of months of extreme fatigue, with nausea, headaches, food aversion, mixed-up sleep cycles, dizziness, and sun sensitivity. It was extremely difficult to do anything. … If there’s one thing I want people to know about grief, it’s how awful it can make your body feel.”
What causes these physical symptoms? A range of studies reveal the powerful effects grief can have on the body. Grief increases inflammation, which can worsen health problems you already have and cause new ones. It batters the immune system, leaving you depleted and vulnerable to infection. The heartbreak of grief can increase blood pressure and the risk of blood clots. Intense grief can alter the heart muscle so much that it causes “broken heart syndrome,” a form of heart disease with the same symptoms as a heart attack.
Stress links the emotional and physical aspects of grief. The systems in the body that process physical and emotional stress overlap, and emotional stress can activate the nervous system as easily as physical threats can. When stress becomes chronic, increased adrenaline and blood pressure can contribute to chronic medical conditions.
Research shows that emotional pain activates the same regions of the brain as physical pain. This may be why painkilling drugs ranging from opioids to Tylenolhave been shown to ease emotional pain.
Normal vs. Pathological Grief
Depression is not a normal part of grief, but a complication of it. Depression raises the risk of grief-related health complications and often requires treatment to resolve, so it’s important to know how to recognize its symptoms. Sidney Zisook, MD, a grief researcher and professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Diego, says people can distinguish normal grief from depression by looking for specific emotional patterns.
“In normal grief, the sad thoughts and feelings typically occur in waves or bursts followed by periods of respite, as opposed to the more persistent low mood and agony of major depressive disorder,” Zisook says.
He says people usually retain “self-esteem, a sense of humor, and the capacity to be consoled or distracted from the pain” in normal grief, while people who are depressed struggle with feelings of guilt and worthlessness and a limited ability “to experience or anticipate any pleasure or joy.”
Complicated grief differs from both depression and normal grief. M. Katherine Shear, MD, a professor of psychiatry at Columbia University’s School of Social Work and director of its Center for Complicated Grief, defines complicated grief as “a form of persistent, pervasive grief” that does not get better naturally. It happens when “some of the natural thoughts, feelings, or behaviors that occur during acute grief gain a foothold and interfere with the ability to accept the reality of the loss.”
Symptoms of complicated grief include persistent efforts to ignore the grief and deny or “rewrite” what happened. Complicated grief increases the risk of physical and mental health problems like depression, anxiety, sleep issues, suicidal thoughts and behaviors, and physical illness.
How Does Avoidance Harm Your Health?
Margaret Stroebe, PhD, a bereavement researcher and professor of clinical psychology at Utrecht University, says that recent research has shed light on many of “the cognitive and emotional processes underlying complications in grieving, particularly rumination.”
Research shows that rumination, or repetitive, negative, self-focused thought, is actually a way to avoid problems. People who ruminate shift attention away from painful truths by focusing on negative material that is less threatening than the truths they want to avoid. This pattern of thinking is strongly associated with depression.
Rumination and other forms of avoidance demand energy and block the natural abilities of the body and mind to integrate new realities and heal. Research by Stroebe, and others shows that avoidance behavior makes depression, complicated grief, and the physical health problems that go with them more likely. Efforts to avoid the reality of loss can cause fatigue, weaken your immune system, increase inflammation, and prolong other ailments.
How Do Role Adjustments Affect Your Health?
When someone close to you dies, your social role changes, too. This can affect your sense of meaning and sense of self.
Before losing Molly, Davis says she found a personal sense of value in “being good at helping other people and taking care of them.” But after Molly died, she felt like she “couldn’t help anyone for a while.” Losing this role “dumped the bucket” of her identity “upside down.” Davis says, “I felt like I had nothing to offer. So I had to learn my value from other angles.”
Caregivers face especially complicated role adjustments. The physical and emotional demands of caregiving can leave them feeling depleted even before a loved one dies, and losing the person they took care of can leave them with a lost sense of purpose.
“Research shows that during intense caregiving periods, caregivers not only experience high levels of stress, they also cannot find the time and energy to look after their own health,” says Kathrin Boerner, PhD, a bereavement researcher and professor of gerontology at the University of Massachusetts in Boston.
“This can result in the emergence of new or the reemergence of existing ‘dormant’ health problems after the death of the care recipient. These health issues may or may not be directly related to the caregiver’s grief experience, but they are likely related to the life situation that was created through the demands of caregiving,” Boerner says.
It can be hard to make life work again after a close family member dies. Losing a partner can mean having to move out of a shared home or having to reach out to other loved ones for help, which can further increase emotional stress and worry. Strobe says the stress of adjusting to changes in life and health during and after a loss can “increase vulnerability and reduce adaptive reserves for coping with bereavement.”
What Can You Do to Cope With Grief?
Emotional and physical self-care are essential ways to ease complications of grief and boost recovery. Exercising, spending time in nature, getting enough sleep, and talking to loved ones can help with physical and mental health.
“Most often, normal grief does not require professional intervention,” says Zisook. “Grief is a natural, instinctive response to loss, adaptation occurs naturally, and healing is the natural outcome,” especially with “time and the support of loved ones and friends.”
For many people going through a hard time, reaching out is impossible. If your friend is in grief, reach out to them.Amy Davis
Grief researchers emphasize that social support, self-acceptance, and good self-care usually help people get through normal grief. (Shear encourages people to “plan small rewarding activities and try to enjoy them as much as possible.”) But the researchers say people need professional help to heal from complicated grief and depression.
Davis says therapy and physical activities like going for walks helped her cope. Social support helped most when friends tried to reach out instead of waiting or asking her to reach out to them.
“The thing about grief and depression and sorrow and being suicidal is that you can’t reach out. For many people going through a hard time, reaching out is impossible. If your friend is in grief, reach out to them. Do the legwork. They’re too exhausted!”
Davis’ advice to most people who are grieving is to “Lean into it. You only get to grieve your loved one once. Don’t spend the whole time trying to distract yourself or push it down. It does go away eventually, and you will miss feeling that connected to that person again. And if you feel like your whole life has fallen apart, that’s fine! It totally has. Now you get to decide how to put yourself back together. Be creative. There’s new life to be lived all around you.
Melinda
Reference:
“WebMD News Special Report Reviewed by Neha Pathak, MD on July 11, 2019
When many people see a big, beautiful pile of colorful autumn leaves, it feels like an open invitation to dive in. The scene evokes joy, nostalgia, and the simple thrill of childhood.
But for Isabel Rose, it brings up something very different. It reminds her of a moment that marked the beginning of her lifelong struggle with Lyme disease.
What others see as innocent fun, she now views with alarm.
Ticks thrive in damp, shaded environments close to the ground. Leaf piles, tall grass, and wooded edges are prime habitats for them. Children playing in these areas are at increased risk, often unaware that a single tick bite can lead to years of misery.
For Isabel, what began as a carefree childhood leap into a leaf pile became the start of a medical nightmare.
Isabel is now a writer, Lyme disease advocate, and founder of Mothers Against Lyme, a support network for families affected by congenital and pediatric Lyme. She also serves on the board of Project Lyme, a national nonprofit.
In a recent essay published on her Substack, Isabel shares the story of how a tick bite at age 8 led to decades of misdiagnosed symptoms, chronic illness, and eventually, the discovery that both she and her children had Lyme disease and co-infections.
Her experience is a powerful reminder of the importance of tick awareness. Ignoring the risks can be hazardous to yourself–and future generations.
David and I were close to 40 when we married and part of the reason for our success is that we talked about what traits we looked for in a lifelong partner, shared our complete backgrounds with each other, boundries and discussed possible issues we may have to face. I was completely honest about my mental illness and the challenges we would face. It was critical to put in all on the table before we were married.
Like all marriages, we’ve had tough finacial issues, medical and family issues but they never divided us. My Lyme Dieases treatment cost over $150,000 dollars none of which was covered by insurance which caused us to take a second mortgage on our house. He didn’t blink and was caring for me in the years that followed.
We had the same goals when we married and still share the same goals today. He has given me unconditional love, supported me in every way and even though he’s not one of many words, his actions always shows his love.
Marriage has ups and downs, for me it’s the downs that challenge your commitment, desire to communicate and comprimise.
I prefer both because they offer such different opportunities yet if I had to pick it would be water. I have loved the water or playing in water since I was a small child and once older I discovered the love of falling asleep being rocked by the water. There’s nothing like waking up to the sunrise drinking a cup of coffee while the water calms you.
I’ve had one bad experience on my friends 40ft boat. One day the weather was beautiful, I was sail boarding when I saw this massive black cloud coming our way. I rushed back to the boat and the waves on the way back to the dock were massive, he dealt with the waves while I was down stairs scared but constantly picking up items that had fallen including myself. I felt like it took forever. So glad he was at the helm.
The mountains are beautiful because the terrain is always different and you can see for miles. I was a hiker at one time but stopped after climbing a 1,000 feet to reach the top of Verna Falls at Yosemite National Park. We were rookies at climbing mountains and the climb reminded me why. You had to hike in circles all the way up, I had only one pole and several times I thought about stopping but knew better. The waterfall made every step worth it.
In this fast-paced social media world, it can be difficult to find the time to look within or back in time. I hope you find these quotes and questions interesting. So glad you stopped by today!
WOW!!!!! I have a long list of histrorical people I would love to chat with and learn from. It’s a toss up between, George Washington, and Abraham Lincoln.
Why? because George Washington was the first President, a Founding Father, he didn’t belong to a political party and and presided over the convention that drafted the U.S. Constitution.
George Washington
Abraham Lincoln was the 16th President, and His Emancipation Proclamation paved the way for slavery’s abolition, while his Gettysburg Address stands as one of the most famous pieces of oratory in American history.
I want to say a special thanks to Linda Snow-Griffin for providing me a copy of her book Hope and Learning, Our Journey with Schizophrenia for a review.
Published 2021
Cherish Editions
About the Author
Linda Snow-Griffin, Ph.D. is a retired psychologist. She is the mother of two, stepmother of three adult children and grandmother of sixteen. She has practiced in a variety of settings – college, university and community mental health – and spent the last 30 years in private practice in Cincinnati. Her desire is to provide hope to families coping with mental illness, especially schizophrenia.
Blurb
When her son was diagnosed with Schizophrenia, Linda Snow-Griffin, a psychologist in private practice, felt devastated and overwhelmed. There were thousands of questions going through her mind: How can I help him? What does he need to get better? Will he be able to get better?
Hope and Learning narrates the 20-year journey Linda and her son embarked on, as they navigated their way towards recovery and a better understanding of what it is like to live with schizophrenia.
This book combines personal experience with schizophrenia with substantial data to create a heartwarming and informative resource.
My Thoughts
Linda shares her journey of her son’s diagnosis with Schizophrenia thru her intimate and raw writing. She discovered a journal of her son’s written in high school that set the wheels in motion that changed their life forever and in surprising ways.
I have Bipolar Disorder, which is a serious mental illness, yet I have been around only one person with Schizophrenia and it was during one of my hospital stays. Being around “John” was not scary but he was totally detached, walked the halls constantly talking to other beings who controlled his life. As you can imagine, that was my perception of Schizophrenia. A stigma/myth that Linda changes in this wonderful book.
Her son is highly functioning with medication and even attended college, it was quite difficult and presented some unique challenges when it came to writing his papers but with the understanding of his mother and love of his family, he made it thru. Linda’s book is heart-wrenching, at times it’s hard to imagine how difficult it must have been on a mother and family but what she shows us is love and understanding concurs all.
I am so glad I read her book, my stigma of what Schizophrenia looked like changed and for that I am thankful.
I recommend this book to anyone who thinks they may have or suspect a family member or a loved one has Schizophrenia, you will learn so much and walk away with answers and tools to take on your journey.
Several dietary supplements containing the popular moringa leaf powder have been recalled after multiple consumers contracted Salmonella.
Products manufactured using a single lot of recalled organic moringa leaf powder from Vallon Farmdirect of Johdpur, India, have been linked to at least 11 illnesses and three hospitalizations included in a multi-state outbreak of Salmonella, according to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA).
Cases have been reported in Florida, Kansas, Michigan, New York, North Carolina, South Carolina and Virginia, and the affected products include Food to Live brand’s Organic Moringa Leaf Power (8-ounce, 1-pound, 2-pound, 4-pound, 8-pound, 16-pound, and 44-pound bags) and Organic Supergreens Power Mix (8-ounce, 1-pound, 1.5-pound, 3-pound, 6-pound, and 12-pound bags) with lot codes of SO-69006 through SO-72558.
Africa Import’s Organic Moringa Leaf Power (1-kilogram box) sold after June 5 is also affected, as are all Member’s Mark Super Greens dietary supplement powder products, regardless of lot codes and best by dates.
The supplements were distributed nationwide through both retail and wholesale channels.
The FDA is now encouraging consumers and retailers to refrain from eating, selling or serving the recalled products and is instead urging that the products be thrown away, and that any surfaces or containers they may have touched be sanitized.
Salmonella is a group of bacteria that can cause gastrointestinal illness and fever called salmonellosis, according to the FDA.
Symptoms often begin to develop 12 to 72 hours after infection, and they may include diarrhea, fever, abdominal cramps, high fever, aches, headaches, lethargy, a rash and blood in the urine or stool. In some cases, it may become fatal.
After illnesses were reported in October, the Virginia Department of Health collected an open sample of Africa Imports moringa leaf powder from an affected individual’s home.
It later tested positive for Salmonella, based on a whole-genome sequencing that matched the strain causing illnesses in the outbreak.
After more products, including an open sample of Member’s Mark Super Greens dietary supplement powder, yielded similar results, retailers ceased distribution and sales of the products and issued the voluntary recall.
According to the FDA, the investigation is ongoing and authorities are continuing to “determine what additional products were made with the implicated lot of moringa leaf powder.”
As more and more recalls happen, we have to be vigilant with our food safety.
As we close out the end of 2025, it’s time to look ahead at what topics are trending as we move into the new year. The topics change reguraly and my goal is to stay current in what topics you want to read about.
Men’s Top Search & Lifestyle Trends
Mindful Masculinity & Mental Fitness: Men are increasingly searching for ways to balance emotional resilience, mental health, and self-care, moving away from stoicism.
AI as Creative Collaborator: Searches around AI tools for design, music, and personal branding are booming.
Wellnesswear & Tech-Infused Fashion: Streetwear is merging with wellness and wearable tech, making style both functional and health-oriented.
Quiet Luxury & Throwback Fashion: Men are gravitating toward understated luxury brands and retro-inspired looks.
Digital Flex Culture & Streaming Shows: Entertainment searches highlight streaming series as cultural drivers, alongside a shift in how men present themselves online.
Fitness & Longevity: Hyrox competitions, organ supplements, and holistic fitness routines are trending.
Women’s Top Search & Lifestyle Trends
Sustainable & Eco-Friendly Fashion: Searches for eco-conscious clothing, retro-inspired sneakers, and TikTok-driven microtrends like Mermaidcore and Cowboycore are surging.
Biotech Skincare & Beauty Innovation: Exosome serums, beef tallow moisturizers, and peel-off lip stains are among the fastest-growing beauty searches.
Empowerment & Leadership: Women are increasingly searching for resources on entrepreneurship, breaking glass ceilings, and leadership opportunities.
Mind-Body Wellness: Lifestyle searches emphasize holistic health, balancing career success with personal well-being.
Retro & Hollywood Glam Revival: Old Hollywood beauty trends and maximalist prints are making a comeback.
Tech-Enhanced Lifestyle: AI-driven athleisure and smart fashion are gaining traction
Looking for the Light is successful when posts are on topics you are interested in. Please drop a comment to add additional topics you want to read about. :)
I will delve into many of the topics in the coming year. Staying current on what topics you are searching for helps me learn and allows me share the knowledge with you.
For nearly a decade, Megan Miller woke up every day bracing for pain. What began as the occasional migraine spiraled into years of confusion and fear — until one phone call, and a viral TikTok, changed everything.
“I cried like that,” Miller tells PEOPLE, recalling the emotional video that captured her raw reaction when she finally learned what could be causing her chronic migraines. “That video that was posted was literally, like, my real reaction to getting the call.”
The call that inspired her tears didn’t bring certainty at first. “The call wasn’t like, we know for sure that this is what’s doing it,” Miller says. “But the call was more of like, ‘Hey, this is kind of what we think could be causing it. Let’s try to cut out gluten. Let’s see what’s going to happen.’ ”
Miller’s pain began when she was just 17. “The very first one that I got, I woke up in the middle of the night screaming because I was in so much pain,” Miller recalls. “My parents rushed me to the ER, and the doctors actually thought I was having a stroke.”
Tests came back clear, but the cause remained a mystery. Over the next decade, Miller visited countless doctors and tried everything from prescription medications to lifestyle changes. “I had to learn really quickly, I need to file with the disability offices because, like, if I can’t make a class because I physically cannot move, you cannot hold that against me,” she explains. “So that’s been a big thing. Learned how to advocate for myself pretty young.”
Life became a balancing act between ambition and pain. “I would rather not take anything and just deal with the migraines,” Miller says, remembering how one medication dulled her mind and made her feel detached.
Each day revolved around uncertainty — would she make it through work or class without collapsing? “When they hit, they were completely debilitating,” she says. “I couldn’t see, couldn’t function, couldn’t even get out of bed.”
For years, she kept searching for a solution that never came. “I’ve been to neurologists, primary care doctors, even allergy specialists,” she says. “And no one could tell me why this was happening.”
That changed when she switched to a new primary care doctor who looked at her case differently. “It was the first time that a doctor really wanted to find an answer,” Miller recalls. “I’ve been to so many doctors that are just like, ‘We don’t know,’ and this was the first time that she really ran all the tests.”
The results revealed something no one had suspected: a severe gluten allergy, and possibly celiac disease. For the first time, Miller had an explanation that made sense.
“It was the first time that someone finally looked at all of it and said, ‘Wait a second, this could actually be connected,’ ” she recalls. “And that was such a relief, but also so frustrating because it took so long to get there.”
She had never imagined gluten could be behind her suffering. “People think gluten allergy, they think you eat a piece of bread, you’re throwing up, you’re having stomach cramps, all this stuff,” she says. “It can present really differently for a lot of people.”
For her, the allergy didn’t cause digestive issues. Instead, it looked like headaches and fatigue — symptoms she’d never linked to food. “I had no idea gluten could even do that,” she says. “If I’d known that, maybe I could’ve figured it out sooner.”
But a decade of pain management had taken its own toll. “Results that came back from my endoscopy … the stomach pain I was getting was actually from all of the aspirin-based products I’ve taken in the past 10 years [that] have just eaten away at my stomach,” she tells PEOPLE. “So now my stomach lining is basically not there.”
She had spent years trying to relieve her pain, not realizing those same medications were quietly damaging her body. The discovery was both freeing and devastating.
“That was a hard pill to swallow,” she admits. “I was just trying to make it through each day, and now I’ve got a whole new thing to heal from.”
Still, the diagnosis gave her something she hadn’t had in years — hope. When she shared her emotional reaction on TikTok, she had no idea it would strike such a chord. “Everyone was just so kind,” Miller says, smiling. “So many people commented like, ‘Oh my gosh, the same thing happened to me — when I stopped eating gluten, my migraines just went away.’ ”
Her story quickly became a space for others to share their own experiences. People offered encouragement, gluten-free recipes and even restaurant tips in the comments.
“Everyone just started giving their different suggestions, giving the recommendations, people offering their recipes for homemade bread,” she recalls. “It turned into this really positive community.”
That sense of belonging carried her through the hardest parts of learning to live gluten-free. “It is hard because there’s gluten in things I would have never thought there would be,” she says. “Having that support and just kind of having people that it’s like, ‘Yeah, it’s gonna suck … but you’re gonna feel so good not eating it that you’re not gonna want to.’ ”
When she returned to her hometown, she stumbled upon a fully gluten-free bakery that instantly made her feel welcome. “I walked in and I told her, ‘Okay, I’m like, newly gluten free,’ and she’s walking me through like, everything they have to offer,” Miller says. “It was just so sweet — she really cared.”
Now, each day without a migraine feels like a small miracle. “I’ve gone longer not eating gluten and not having a migraine than I have in 10 years,” she tells PEOPLE. “So I’m finally at the point that I’m like, I will take not eating gluten any day over having this head pain two or three times a week.”
After years of living in fear, she’s finally free from the constant dread. Her body, once a source of suffering, now feels like a source of peace. Within six weeks of completely eliminating gluten, Miller says she hadn’t had a single migraine — a stunning turnaround after years of two or three attacks a week.
“You have to fight for answers,” Miller says. “And you have to find a doctor that’s willing to actually advocate for you, willing to put in those tests.”
Through her videos, she continues to raise awareness about how gluten sensitivity can present in unexpected ways.
Now, pain-free for the first time in her adult life, Miller hopes her story will encourage others to listen to their bodies and keep searching for answers. “Your body doesn’t feel right, there’s a reason why,” she says. “And you kind of have to figure it out.”
As she continues to heal, gratitude has replaced frustration. Each migraine-free morning feels like a victory she once thought impossible.
“I feel like I finally get to live again,” Miller says. “It’s like I’m getting my life back, one day at a time.”
I am so happy for her, migrains can consume your life and it’s a blessing when I here a story of someone living a migraine free life.
I would like people to see me as a warm and welcoming person but in reality it doesn’t matter because their impression is their perception and has nothing to do with who I really am. The impression of me would also be different based on who I am meeting, say I’m meeting a religious leader, I would be humbled and taking in their presence and any lessons offered and not ask questions unless the door was open. I think the impression of me is different for everyone I met.
I am not a fluffy person and my writing is more raw and to the facts. That in itself could be taken may different way. All I can do is be who I am and hope that people will give me grace.
If your relationship is taking more away from your life and well-being than it’s providing, there’s a good chance it’s toxic. Here’s how to know — and what to do if you realize your romance is unhealthy.
You’re dating someone new and everything feels … brighter. You’re giddy, practically floating on air. As the emotions from this punch-drunk chemical cocktail settle down, so too does the relationship. But rather than feeling the warmth of deepening intimacy and a comfortable routine, you start to lose yourself. Or at least that’s how it seems. Unproductive arguments happen regularly, and one or both of you seem prone to jealousy, passive aggression, or blame.
If those scenarios sound all too familiar, you may be involved in a toxic relationship. “We can think of toxic relationships the same way we think of toxic materials,” Shadeen Francis, LMFT, certified sex therapist, tells DailyOM. “Toxic relationships are ultimately harmful to our well-being, often worsening our health and happiness over time.”
If those scenarios sound all too familiar, you may be involved in a toxic relationship. “We can think of toxic relationships the same way we think of toxic materials,” Shadeen Francis, LMFT, certified sex therapist, tells DailyOM. “Toxic relationships are ultimately harmful to our well-being, often worsening our health and happiness over time.”
And that healthy partnership involves mutual love and high integrity, she adds, having each other’s backs and empowering each other to be the best version of yourselves. Both parties have good intent and stay responsible for their own feelings. “If any of these elements are missing, you’ve got the makings of a toxic relationship,” Newman says. “If you’re dealing with an opponent instead of a partner, that’s toxic.”
Meanwhile, if you’re continually offering your best self and stay willing to work through challenges, yet your partner isn’t receptive — or worse, they’re downright harmful — that’s toxicity worth paying attention to.
4 Signs Your Relationship Is Toxic
You Don’t Operate as a Team
Conflicts and disagreements are a part of all relationships, says Francis, but if those conflicts undermine your trust and safety, that’s a concerning sign of toxicity.
“You and your partner are different people and are going to have feelings, thoughts, needs, and desires that are at odds sometimes,” says Francis, adding that feeling disappointed, angry, or sad is okay. “But notice whether or not you still generally feel like a team. Even as there are problems, do you believe that you both are working toward resolving them? Can you still be kind to one another? Or is there blame, criticism, gaslighting, avoidance, or stonewalling?” If it’s the latter, and if kindness and resolution remain out of reach, that’s a toxic pattern.
You’re Codependent
Codependency is another toxic trait that can put your relationship and well-being off course. In this dysfunctional dynamic, one person takes on the role of the “giver” and the other is the “taker.” The giver sacrifices their own needs to tend to the other — potentially making excuses for their unruly behaviors — while the taker relies too heavily on those care attempts.
“Codependent relationships, even if they are warm and loving, are also often toxic relationship environments,” says Francis. “They are often organized not by love, but by insecurity, trauma bonding, and fear.”
Though it’s important to note that many people have overcome challenging childhood experiences without repeating those patterns as adults, if you or your partner grew up in an abusive household or around alcohol dependence, you may be more prone to this scenario.
Your Life Is Falling Apart
A common thread among many toxic relationships is the isolating places they lead. You may become so involved in the toxic parts that you have little room in your life for friendships or hobbies. Your work life suffers as you struggle to concentrate on anything besides your relationship, while your moods and ability to sleep well dwindle.
While some of these issues might crop up in a pronounced way, gradual, subtle unfolding is common. Because “our relationship dynamics are a series of interactive habits, patterns of response, emotional exchanges, and routines that we form together over time,” says Frances, “it is not unusual for subtle changes or seemingly unimportant frictions to become entrenched problems in our relationships down the road.”
And because these frictions and their effects develop slowly, it’s easy not to realize the path you’re on until the pain or frustration accumulates. If you feel like something isn’t right, Frances adds, it’s important to “trust your embodied wisdom, even if you can’t quite put your finger on where or when things shifted.” And if your partner uses manipulation to avoid accountability, she says, they may capitalize on doubt and try to distract or gaslightyou into ignoring warning signs of toxicity.
While positive, healthy relationships allow you to strengthen other life areas and bolster self-esteem, a toxic relationship does the opposite. “A toxic relationship isn’t just one with challenges or hardships,” explains Francis. “They take a long-term toll on your health, whether that is emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, financial health, or physical health.”
You Notice Signs of Narcissism
While not all toxic relationships include narcissism, a narcissist’s extreme self-involvement can easily invite toxicity. “Narcissism involves a number of traits that are likely to create a toxic relationship: self-absorbedness, lack of remorse, low emotion regulation skills, a dependence on others’ admiration in order to feel self-worth, and a resistance to taking accountability for their impact on others,” Francis says.
You might also fall prey to gaslighting, manipulation, and severe emotional abuse when a partner’s narcissism is at play, which may show up as your being constantly controlled or ridiculed.
When on the receiving end of narcissistic behavior, your own needs fall to the wayside because of your partner’s self-focus. (At first, your partner may have showered you with over-the-top gestures and gifts, also known as “love bombing,” purely to “win” or “keep” you.).
Even though narcissism often stems from emotional neglect early in life, know that it’s not your responsibility to “fix” a partner who’s hurting you. You can have compassion and move on. And of course, narcissism doesn’t affect everyone who had a difficult childhood. Only about 5 percent of people have narcissistic personality disorder, the most severe form. If you recognize that you are prone to narcissist tendencies yourself, with time and effort, you can work through those wounds and find new strategies for soothing and relating to others.
Can You Fix a Toxic Relationship?
An unhealthy, toxic relationship can be turned around, says Newman, if both people are willing to change their behaviors for good. “Not try to change, not hope to change someday. I mean literally change instantly, as in I see it, and I’ll stop it right this second.” While this shift is rare, she says — and requires committed efforts moving forward — it’s awesome.
Chanel Dokun, a relationship expert trained in marriage and family therapy, author of Life Starts Now: How to Create the Life You’ve Been Waiting For, and the co-founder of Healthy Minds NYC, agrees that a toxic relationship can be healed, “but only if each individual does the hard work to address their own unhealthy relational patterns,” she tells DailyOM. “The couple might need to take a substantial break to allow for healing and a reset to their dynamic.”
How to Get Out of a Toxic Relationship
What you don’t have to do is stick around suffering, hoping the other person will change. Some relationships can’t be saved, and you may decide it’s time to go your separate ways, even if you still have feelings for your partner or they have certain traits that you admire.
When meaningful change isn’t feasible or you want out regardless — for whatever reason — both Francis and Newman suggest seeking help. That’s because breakups, while never easy, can be especially complicated and painful when you’re dealing with a toxic dynamic. If your self-esteem has lowered because of the relationship, leaving you in a more vulnerable state, even a relatively mild breakup might feel impossible. Regardless, you can get through it with proper care.
To get out of a toxic relationship, Newman says the support of friends, family, and possibly a trained professional such as a therapist is key. “Set yourself up to have someone in your corner who can have your back and reassure you that you’re making the right call. This is not the time to turn inward; look out to your community for love and help,” the expert says.
Ask your therapist or another trusted ally to help you role-play what you want to say to end the relationship and brainstorm next steps and logistics — say, if you and your partner are currently living together or will need to be in contact in the future, due to children you share together or for another reason. If you are able to make a more complete break and cut off all communication, that may be helpful, and even necessary, particularly if you feel your partner will try to gaslight, guilt, or otherwise manipulate you to stay with them, or you’ve developed a trauma bond, in which you feel you need the harmful partner.
How to Heal from a Toxic Relationship
There’s no quick fix or universal timeline when you’re healing from a toxic relationship that you’ve left behind, so keep being gentle with yourself. “Change is hard and takes time,” notes Frances. “You’ll need some grace to get to the other side.”
Continue to lean on your support systems and give yourself time to work through the aftermath with love and kindness toward yourself.
Meanwhile, delve into activities you’re curious or passionate about, with the knowledge that you are a “whole person with or without a partner,” says Dokun. “It’s possible to build a thriving life full of meaning and purpose without staying in a toxic dynamic, so prioritize the pursuit of your own life purpose over the relationship before you miss out on the life you deserve to live.”
To explore what that might look like for you, consider journaling, practicing guided meditation, or bringing these topics up with a friend or your therapist.
The rewards of the healing work you do can pay off more than you can imagine. Trust that process, knowing that you will absolutely be better off in the long run.
I’m an American and I once was proud to say that. I still love America and it is home for me but the politics, division in the country and the rise in physical and cyber crime is very concerning. Almost 10 years ago everything changed with the focus of our government with the biggest impact is neither party working together, they out right refuse. How are they helping Americans grow?
Back to the question. I have looked at other countries as an excersis and have found the countries that live by the values and government style I perfer and way to cold. I’ve thought about Austrailia because I think in many ways we are similar and while visiting Sydney, everyone was so welcoming. It made me think I was back home in Texas.
There are locations that have crossed my mind but in reality every country has it’s issues and living in America is far less expensive than any country I researched. I would not feel right moving away from my home country but wish for some magic to turn America around to better times.