Celebrate Life · Family · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Mental Health · Moving Forward · Self-Care · Trauma

Good Times On The Highway To Hell Part 6

My Wild Journey

I always wanted everything my Gramps had, so when I was still in the bottle, he put a small amount of coffee in it. I slurped with joy and still do. 

In high school, I was not interested in being popular or joining a sorority but somehow, I got talked into rushing for a sorority. During rush week we had to go a week without washing our hair. It nearly killed me, but one night we all spent the night at the so-called leader’s house and it was the last straw for me. They spent the night talking about their boyfriends, drinking, sex, and how they were popular at school. I couldn’t care less and left and turned the page on that experience.

I was naive in high school, thinking the cheerleaders were all goody-two-shoes and virgins. Not so much! One night while hanging out at the library, our hang spot, a cheerleader I only knew from class asked me if I would drive her around to smoke a joint. SURE! I hadn’t smoked a joint in years. We parked not far from the library and stoked away, the whole time she talked about how all her boyfriend wanted was sex. Sex and smoking a joint, wow my eyes were opened. 

The high school football quarterback wouldn’t even speak to me, I was friends with almost everyone but not him. He was above mere mortals. At the 20-year high school reunion, I looked very different than in high school and all he wanted to do was dance and get me to leave with him. It was funny. I was there with my future husband. Men tend to think with the wrong head. 

I’m keeping this post short since the other topics were too heavy for this one. You can look forward to topics like agoraphobia, dementia, driving my husband’s truck the size of an aircraft carrier, and forgetting how to drive. 

Melinda

Good Times On The Highway To Hell Part 5

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Self-Care

What Is Social Anxiety Disorder? Symptoms, Causes, Diagnosis, Treatment, and Prevention

ByJoseph Bennington-Castro

Reviewed by Seth Gillihan, PhD

Updated on December 26, 2022

Social anxiety disorder — previously known as social phobia — is an anxiety disorder in which you experience persistent fear of social or performance situations, according to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). (1) People who have social anxiety disorder worry that they will behave in a way that will be embarrassing and humiliating and that they will be judged by others, particularly people they do not know well.

Suma Chand, PhD, director of the cognitive behavior therapy program in the department of psychiatry and behavioral neuroscience at St. Louis University School of Medicine in Missouri, says people who have social anxiety often feel they need to behave perfectly in social situations because they tend to imagine that others are superior to them and critical of them. They also have a longing for acceptance, but their fear of others’ judgment can keep them from finding it. 

Social anxiety disorder consists of much more than the shyness or nervousness that many people feel in common social situations, such as going on a first date or giving a presentation (“stage fright”).

The condition can interfere with daily activities and even cause people to completely avoid social interactions, even though they often realize their anxiety is irrational. “I have often had my clients tell me how they are exhausted by social situations,” says Dr. Chand.

“This is because when they look back at these events, they see how their need to be perfect in social situations has caused them to experience high levels of anxiety before and during social situations,” she explains. “As a result, they often avoid many social situations — even though they feel bad about doing so.”

But, adds Chand, those with the disorder can learn to change the distortions in their thinking that lead to avoidance.

Signs and Symptoms of Social Anxiety Disorder

People who have social anxiety disorder tend to feel very anxious and self-conscious in common social situations. (2) Their fear that they will be judged by others can have a negative effect on school, work, and other daily activities, and can make it difficult for them to develop and sustain friendships.

When you have social anxiety disorder, common social fears include:

  • Attending parties and other social occasions
  • Eating, drinking, and writing in public
  • Meeting new people
  • Speaking in public
  • Using public restrooms

The anxiety of social anxiety disorder can also cause physical symptoms such as: (3,4)

  • Blushing
  • Profuse sweating
  • Nausea
  • Difficulty talking
  • Trembling
  • Rapid heart rate
  • Trouble catching your breath
  • Dizziness or lightheadedness
  • Muscle tension
  • According to the NIMH, when having to perform or be around other people, people who have social anxiety disorder tend to: (5)
  • Feel their “mind going blank”
  • Have a rigid body posture, make little eye contact, or speak with a very soft voice
  • Find it scary and challenging to be with other people, particularly strangers, and have a difficult time talking to them even though they want to communicate
  • Avoid places where there are other people

Signs and symptoms of social anxiety disorder can also include: (4)

  • Fear of displaying physical symptoms of anxiety
  • Avoiding situations where you might be the center of attention
  • Having anxiety leading up to a feared activity or event
  • Spending time after a social situation reviewing your performance and finding flaws
  • Expecting the worst possible consequences from a negative social experience
  • Difficulty starting conversations, dating, entering a room in which people are already seated, returning items to a store, and other day-to-day experiences
  • Children may cry, have tantrums, cling to parents, or refuse to speak in social situations
  • Intense fear and anxiety only about speaking or performing in public (performance type of social anxiety disorder)

Causes and Risk Factors of Social Anxiety Disorder

There may be a genetic component to social anxiety disorder for some people. You’re more likely to develop the disorder if your biological parents or siblings have the condition. (4) However, scientists still don’t understand why some family members have the condition while others don’t. (5)

Research suggests that being raised by parents who engage in negative parental practices, such as being overprotective, overly anxious, or rejecting, may contribute to the development of social anxiety. (2)

Some researchers think misreading other people’s behavior may play a role in causing social anxiety or making it worse. For example, if you think people are staring or frowning at you when they are not. (5)

Underdeveloped social skills may also contribute to social anxiety disorder, although many people with the condition do not have a deficit in their social abilities.

Researchers are also investigating the roles that stress and environmental factors may play in causing social anxiety disorder.

Risk Factors 

Several factors can increase your chances of developing social anxiety disorder, including: (4)

Risk Factors 

Several factors can increase your chances of developing social anxiety disorder, including: (4)

Negative life experiences Children who are teased, bullied, rejected, ridiculed, or humiliated may be more likely to develop social anxiety disorder. Family conflict, trauma, abuse, or other negative life events may also be linked to the condition.

New social or work demands Meeting new people, giving a speech, or having to make an important presentation at work may trigger social anxiety disorder symptoms.

Having an appearance or condition that attracts attention Facial disfigurement, stuttering, tremors due to Parkinson’s disease, and other conditions can make people feel self-conscious and may trigger social anxiety disorder.

Shy temperament Children who are shy, timid, withdrawn, or restrained when dealing with new situations or people may have an increased risk of developing the disorder. People who have social anxiety disorder commonly say they were extremely shy as children. (However, social anxiety disorder and shyness are not the same thing.) (3)

How Is Social Anxiety Disorder Diagnosed?

To diagnose social anxiety disorder, your doctor may: (4)

  • Conduct a physical exam to help determine whether any medical condition or medication may be triggering your symptoms
  • Discuss your symptoms, how frequently they occur, and in what situations
  • Ask you whether certain situations make you feel anxious
  • Have you fill out self-report questionnaires about symptoms of social anxiety

Your healthcare provider will determine whether you have the criteria for social anxiety disorder as listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). These include:

  • Persistent, intense fear or anxiety about specific social situations because you fear you may be judged, embarrassed, or humiliated
  • Avoiding anxiety-provoking social situations or enduring them with intense fear or anxiety
  • Excessive anxiety that’s out of proportion to the situation
  • Anxiety or distress that interferes with your daily life
  • Fear or anxiety that is not due to a medical condition, medication, or substance abuse

Treatment and Medication Options for Social Anxiety Disorder

Treatment for social anxiety disorder is intended to help you function in your daily life. (2) The two most common types of treatment for social anxiety disorder are psychotherapy (psychological counseling or talk therapy), medications, or both. (4)

Psychotherapy helps most people with social anxiety disorder because it teaches you how to change negative thoughts about yourself. You also learn skills that help you gain confidence in social situations.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) has the most research support among psychotherapies for anxiety, and it works just as well whether it’s conducted individually or in groups.

In exposure-based cognitive behavioral therapy, you work up to facing the situations you fear most, little by little. This can help you develop the confidence you need to cope with anxiety-provoking social situations. You may also engage in social skills training or role-playing to practice your social skills.

CBT may even create positive changes in the brain. A study from 2017 found that when those with social anxiety disorder participated in 10 weeks of CBT group therapy, it led to changes in parts of the brain that process and regulate emotions. (6) The changes were more pronounced when the therapy was most successful.  

To read the full article click here.

Melinda

Referencce:

Celebrate Life · Chronic Illness · Family · Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward · Self-Care · Survivor

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Breast Cancer Awareness Month is a month that has received a great deal of attention over the years due to the tremendous donations to support new treatment options. That does not mean we should look the other way and think it has enough attention. The success rate of survival has increased but there is still so much to know about Breast Cancer.

The types of Brest Cancer

Ductal Carcinoma In Situ (DCIS)

Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (IDC)

Lobular Carcinoma In Situ (LCIS)

Invasive Lobular Cancer (ILC)

Triple Negative Breast Cancer (TNBC)

Inflammatory Breast Cancer (IBC)

Metastatic Breast Cancer (MBC)

Breast Cancer During Pregnancy

Other Types

Breast Cancer Myths

Myth: Finding a lump in your breast means you have breast cancer

Myth: Men do not get breast cancer; it affects women only

Myth: A mammogram can cause breast cancer or spread it

Myth: If you have a family history of breast cancer, you are likely to develop breast cancer, too

Myth: Breast cancer is contagious

Myth: If the gene mutation BRCA1 or BRCA2 is detected in your DNA, you will definitely develop breast cancer

Myth: Antiperspirants and deodorants cause breast cancer

Myth: A breast injury can cause breast cancer

Myth: Breast cancer is more common in women with bigger breasts

Myth: Breast cancer only affects middle-aged or older women

Myth: Breast pain is a definite sign of breast cancer

Myth: Consuming sugar causes breast cancer

Myth: Carrying a phone in your bra can cause breast cancer

Myth: All breast cancers are the same

Myth: Bras with underwire can cause breast cancer

Breast Cancer Resources

Free Educational Guides

NBCF is dedicated to delivering comprehensive, educational information on breast health and healthy living. From understanding the importance of early detection, to knowing how to prepare for a mammogram, NBCF’s online resources and guides aim to empower women and men with useful information. View guides. Click here to learn more about breast self-examination steps.

National Mammography Program

NBCF provides grants to facilities across the United States that provide screening and diagnostic mammograms, breast ultrasounds, clinical breast exam, and patient navigation to underserved individuals who qualify. Find a facility.

Patient Navigator Program

The Patient Navigator Program is a proactive approach to helping patients overcome the barriers of cost, fear, and misinformation surrounding a disease and its prevention. Find a facility.


Other Resources

In addition to the breast care services that NBCF provides to women in need, the following resources offer financial assistance for breast cancer patients.

National Breast and Cervical Cancer Early Detection Program (NBCCEDP)

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) provides access to breast cancer screening services to underserved women in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, 5 U.S. territories, and 12 tribal organizations.

National Cancer Institute

Information about free or low-cost mammogram screening programs is available through NCI’s Cancer Information Service at 1-800-422-6237.

The American Cancer Society

The American Cancer Society (ACS) provides resource lists for free or low-cost mammograms and financial assitance based on your location. When you go to their website, Cancer.org, look for the “About Us” tab in the top right corner. When you click on that, select your state in the “Where We Help” menu to be directed to a list of local resources.

Breast and Cervical Cancer Treatment Program (BCCTP)

This state program is funded through Medicaid to provide underserved women free healthcare throughout treatment. The program is available in all 50 states. For the application process, contact your local hospital and ask to speak to a nurse or patient navigator regarding the program.

The Patient Access Network Foundation

The PAN Foundation provides assistance to remove financial barriers for medications, treatment, and travel expenses for patients.

Cancer Financial Assistance Coalition

The CFAC is a coalition of organizations that help patients reduce financial barriers during cancer treatment. When you visit their website, select the type of assistance needed and enter your zip code to find resources near your area.

Mammography Facility Database

The Mammography Facility Database is updated periodically based on information received from the three FDA-approved accreditation bodies: the American College of Radiology (ACR), and the states of Arkansas and Texas to provide a list of facilities where mammography services are available based on your location.

Breast Cancer needs to be taken seriously by all and it starts with self-exams and reaching out at the first sign of trouble. You also need to keep your doctor aware of your family history because it can play a big role in whether to not you have the DNA makers for Breast Cancer. Always air on the cautious side.

Melinda

References:

https://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/types-of-breast-cancer/

https://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/about-breast-cancer/early-detection/breast-cancer-resources/

Repost

Art · Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Wordless Wednesday-Dragon Flies

I’m glad you joined me on Wordless Wednesday and I hope to see you soon.

 

 

 

This is a beautiful piece of handmade leaded glass of Dragon Flies. The first photo is hard to see becaue it mosted coved by a tree outside my office window but as you look to the sides of the galls the colors shine through. Seeing Dragon Flies always make me smile.

Melinda

 

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Internet Good/Bad · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Survivor · Trauma · Travel

Media Corporations Have Crossed The Line By Sending Reporters Into Hurricanes

I’ve always questioned the value of seeing a reporting out in the hailing winds and rain trying to stand up, what is the point. We know there is a storm, the news is covering it in the studio and we have better photos of what is happening than the few feet the reporters are in.

Hurricane Milton crossed the line for me, all the major channels were reporting and it was so bad that several had close calls and one was hit in the face with debris. Is this what it comes to? Put employees at risk for their lives to show this channel will go further than the next. I drew the line.

Anderson Cooper was reporting from Bradenton, Florida, and was barely able to stand, the rain was pouring down and he reached won to show how deep the water was a was hit in the face by flying debris. He sought safety after that. the situation could have been much worse.

The National Hurricane Center reported Milton reached Category 5 status twice and had maximum sustained winds of 120 mph when it hit Siesta Key, Florida, near where Anderson was reporting. 

Anderson was working with Bill Weir who was in St Petersburg and was washed away. Why is this acceptable corporate behavior?

Social Media was blowing up with comments of concern for the safety of the reports but where were The corporations they work for? Do they feel this is dramatic television that people want to watch so they can make more money? Bullshit! This shows a total lack of care for human life!

Anderson was not the only reporter who put their life on the line, so did: Dylan Dryer and Ginger Zee and these are the ones I’ve heard of.

We have to stand up and say enough is enough! Let CNN, GMA, and The Today Show this cruel and unusual behavior by writing to the Media Corporations, taking to Social Media, and sending letters to your local media and your local political representative. Only we can make a difference because their employers will not.

More interesting reads:

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/robert-ray-fox-weather-hurricane-milton-b2626908.html

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/other/journalists-covering-milton-were-sheltering-in-their-car-then-came-a-meow/ar-AA1s2jka?ocid=BingNewsVerp

https://www.unilad.com/news/us-news/hurricane-milton-florida-update-cnn-anderson-cooper-621721-20241010

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/hurricane-milton-live-updates-florida-surveys-tragic-damage-in-wake-of-monster-storm-dozens-of-tornadoes/ar-AA1rO1il?ocid=BingNewsVerp

There are thousands of stories and videos to read or watch of the hurricanes should you wish to relive the carnage.

I’m disgusted that Journalism has come to being thrown to the wolves. Long gone are the days when I wanted to be a Journalist. I won’t be treated like a piece of meat.

I pray to donate to the Red Cross or other legitimate charities on the ground to provide daily needs and support.

Melinda

Reference:

https://www.hellomagazine.com/celebrities/723378/cnn-anderson-cooper-terrifying-encounter-midst-hurricane-milton-caught-camera-video/

 

Celebrate Life · Communicating · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Good Morning From Rochester, Minnesota

We landed last night with just enough light to find our car and head to Trader Joe’s for some goodies. We grabbed some dinner there so all we had to do was bring half a ton of luggage into the room and eat. My husband was happy because a college football game was on. After watching for a few minutes, I laid down to rest after an exhausting day at airports, walking and pulling luggage.

It’s very chilly here compared to home so I’m glad I brought my extra warm clothes. We’ve slept in this morning and plan to head out to see a few sites. I don’t know everywhere we’re going but I have the Vietnam Veterans Memorial at the top of my list. I like to pay my respect when I travel, that’s the very least I can do.

Tomorrow is Columbus Day and a holiday for many, I will write a post about it this afternoon. We have free days until Tuesday and then it’s off to The Mayo for meetings with doctors, getting blood work, testing, and leaving with a diagnosis.

Have a great day.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward · Self-Care

National Depression Education and Awareness Month

This awareness month is critical for all ages, even the youngest of children can feel depression and even though you may think they should blow it off, it’s not that easy and you can alienate them from talking to you again. Today life is so hard on kids, from an early age they are judged for the way they look, and who their friends are, for any reason because there are so many who don’t know who to communicate with and are haters. Kids also mimic their parents, if your child is having problems, look at your own behavior.

Young girls are fed to believe that these so-called influencers are real perfect-looking people who are pumping the greatest products they have to have. It never crosses their mind that the person is not an influencer, they are made up to look like the girls want to be and they are selling a product they make money on. They don’t get it or don’t want to. They are bullied for being a certain weight or not looking like someone else’s unrealistic standards.

Mix in real life as they get older and a deeper depression may present itself, it could be short-term term or it could be from unresolved issues, one you may not even know about. The key is to get your children the help they need at every step. As they age, professional help may be the answer. Don’t let stigma keep your child from getting the help they need.

As for adults, life can get messy, people can hurt you deeply, someone you trusted can betray you and family can hurt the worst. Some people may be more predisposed to depression whereas others may be situational driven. Adults have their own stigma and don’t seek out help, some men don’t think they need help and some just don’t know where to turn because the answer is not their parents. This is where a therapist comes in, therapy can be short-term just to get over a hump or more long-term because you have many buried issues that need to be addressed.

October is Depression Education and Awareness Month | Newsroom ...

October is recognized as Depression Awareness Month each year. The purpose is to increase understanding, decrease stereotypes, and help educate on how depression and other mental health issues impact people.

Awareness months give people affected by a specific condition a chance to share their stories. The goal is to help increase the overall understanding of depression or other conditions and help overcome stereotypes.

Depression is a common mental health concern in America and throughout the world. Far more than just “feeling sad,” depression negatively impacts how a person feels, thinks, and acts. It can cause disruption to school, work, and personal interests.

Misconceptions and misunderstandings of depression contribute to continuing stigmas about people living with the condition, the reasons it occurs, and their willingness to seek care.

In a 2018 study, researchers conducted a survey to assess the public’s knowledge of depression and the severity of the stigma surrounding it. Key findings included:

  • 30% reported believing a “weak personality” causes depression
  • 58.9% reported believing that pharmaceutical interventions or medications are not an effective treatment
  • over 70% reported understanding the importance of rest and that a person may appear happier than they actually are when living with depression

Depression can wear you out at the exact time you need all of your strength to fight. Trying to cope is extremely tiring — and it’s often difficult to know when others are suffering. That’s why, during October, we observe National Depression Education & Awareness Month. This important holiday helps teach us about the signs, symptoms, and treatment options for depression. It also lets all of us know that seeking help — either from a counselor, a trusted friend, or your community — is a sign of hope and strength.

Signs of Depression to look for

  1. Feeling sad, hopeless, or empty.
  2. Losing interest in activities that you used to enjoy.
  3. Changes in appetite, weight loss, or weight gain.
  4. Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much.
  5. Feeling tired and lacking energy.
  6. Difficulty concentrating, making decisions, or remembering things.
  7. Feeling irritable or restless.
  8. Thoughts of death or suicide.
  9. Withdrawing from social activities and isolating themselves from others.
  10. Difficulty performing daily activities and taking care of themselves.
  11. Feeling guilty or worthless.
  12. Changes in behavior, such as increased substance use or reckless behavior.
  13. Unexplained physical symptoms, such as headaches or stomachaches.

This is not an exhaustive list but it’s a good start to start looking for when you or your child it not themselves. It’s sometimes hard to see depression in yourself and you need someone you trust to give you feedback and it can be hard to hear. Work to have an open mind.

Melinda

References:

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/depression-awareness-month

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Mental Health · Photography

Wordless Wednesday-Vibrant Orange

I’m glad you joined me on Wordless Wednesday and I hope to see you soon.

I shop at a store on Amazon and sometimes they run off-the-cuff crazy steals, I bought this ceramic vase for $5! The fake flowers cost more. I love the bright and dark orange color combination.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Mental Illness · Moving Forward

NAMI Texas Advocacy Newsletter

The newsletter talks about how to vote, the players in Texas who are up for election, and additional resources. Sometimes these newsletters publish a link, not sure why I can see the content but WordPress turns it to a link. Please click on the link or copy in paste on your computer to read. This message is important to all Texans. 

October 2024 


We are less than one month out from General Election Day!  It is critical that Texans get out and vote as policymakers elected in 2024 will make major decisions regarding individuals and families affected by mental health conditions. Furthermore, exercising your right to vote ensures representation, the individuals we elect will be our voice at the local, state, and federal levels. When you participate in elections, we hold our elected officials accountable for their actions and decisions. Additionally, voting has the ability to drive social change as voters have the opportunity to advocate for policy reform and issues that are important to us.

Finally, voting promotes equality, providing an opportunity for all citizens to have a say in the decision-making process.  Important Dates:   General Election Day: Tuesday, November 5th, 2024  Early Voting: Monday, October 21st-Friday, November 1st, 2024   Last day counties can receive mail-in ballot requests: Friday, October 25th, 2024    Find out what’s on your personalized ballot by checking out Vote411


Alternate text

Get involved & encourage others to do so too!   The NAMI Texas team encourages you to check out NAMI National’s #Vote4MentalHealth campaign webpage where you can pledge to vote for mental health, learn more about why mental health is more than a single policy issue and several ways to get engaged. Furthermore, the campaign provides resources like finding your voting options, requesting an absentee ballot, and planning to vote.   

#Vote4MentalHealth Videos  Check out this video that highlights the importance of voting in all elections, from those at the White House to local school board elections.  Additionally, watch this educational video on how votes for education, economy, and healthcare all impact mental health!  

Please note: #Vote4MentalHealth is nonpartisan – the NAMI Alliance will never tell people what party or candidate to vote for; instead, it focuses on understanding how every person’s vote impacts mental health.   NAMI Texas Voter Guide:  
 
Additionally, check out NAMI Texas’ General Election 2024 Voter Guides! The Policy Team has collected information from Texas candidates on various mental health topics. This guide can be used to help you gather information regarding where candidates stand on various mental health systems and what they hope to improve upon if they are elected. Please note, that all candidates were contacted and only those who responded are in the guides. 

Texas House of Representatives General Election Voter Guide   

Texas Senate General Election Voter Guide

Let’s get out and vote!!!!!!! Our voice needs to be louder than ever if policy changes are going to happen.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Mental Health · Music

Just Because It’s Tuesday! Keb Mo.-Put A Woman In Charge

This request came from my husband, I was quite shocked considering he’s never sent a request. I can’t wait to see the video. Thanks, Honey.

This is a great song, and Keb Mo has a beautiful voice.

Keb Mo. Homer, NY. 7/29/24. Put A Woman In Charge

Keb’s personality shines through, and my husband says all of his music is like that. I’ll be checking out more of his music.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Family · Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward · Trauma

Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month

Losing a baby is a very personal matter and one that we don’t often hear or talk about unless you’re close to someone who has experienced that loss. At 19 I had a miscarriage at 4-5 months along and my then-husband didn’t even acknowledge the child or the death, we never talked about the entire night it happened. Instead, he went out of town with the guys the next morning and there was no conversation when he returned. I was devastated, had no ride home, and didn’t have anyone to help me with the pain. I was in shock seeing the baby in the toilet at the hospital but I never grieved.

I can’t imagine the grief of carrying a baby close to term or full term and then watching them die, it has to be gutwrenching. There are many children born with diseases or a defect and they fight for their lives, but it was not to be. The overwhelming pain can only be felt by the parents who lost their baby. Think about the pain felt when the parents get home to see the baby’s nursery they planned so carefully without their baby.

These are my thoughts on what Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month is, let’s see the official meaning of the day.

 

Pregnancy, Infant, and Child Loss Awareness Month - We want you to know our babies

When Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month was proclaimed.

In 1988, President Ronald Regan proclaimed October Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day is observed on October 15th each year and includes the International Wave of Light.

In the United States, 1 out of every 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage and 1 and every 160 pregnancies end in stillbirth. These numbers do not include infant death from preterm labor, diagnosis of life-limiting conditions, or SIDS.

What is Pregnancy Loss and Infant Loss Awareness Month?

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, observed every October, is dedicated to raising awareness about the grief and challenges faced by families who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, or the death of an infant. The month provides a platform for breaking the silence surrounding these often stigmatized and unspoken losses. Through various events, campaigns, and remembrance activities, it seeks to honor the lives lost, offer support to grieving parents, and educate the public on the impact of pregnancy and infant loss. It also encourages open conversations and fosters a sense of community among those affected.

When is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day?

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day is observed on October 15th each year. It is a day dedicated to honoring and remembering babies who have passed away due to miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death. Many people participate in the global “Wave of Light” by lighting candles at 7 PM in their local time zone to create a continuous wave of light across the world.

If you’ve lost a baby or know someone who has and wants to share their memory, consider setting up a memorial website on Ever Loved. Memorial websites are free, simple to use, and a beautiful place to share your baby’s obituary, event information, collect memories, and more.

What a beautiful way to memorialize your baby.

Melinda

References:

https://everloved.com/articles/living-with-grief/how-to-recognize-pregnancy-and-infant-loss-awareness-month/

Pregnancy, Infant, and Child Loss Awareness Month – Because of You, My Child

Celebrate Life · Chronic Illness · Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward · Self-Care

Sober October

I think the timing of Sober October is perfect, it comes right before the holidays and there is plenty of alcohol flowing at that time of year. Being or getting sober is damn hard any time of the year but during the holidays your endurance can get tested. For me to remain sober, I made it known that I had stopped drinking, that didn’t mean that others needed to stop but I wanted it known that this was a commitment to me and it was serious. I stopped drinking close to 20 years ago, went cold turkey, and never attended a meeting and my husband still drinks. Actually, he’s an alcoholic but that’s his choice. I had the strength to do it so quickly because it was affecting the medications for my mental illness and it’s hard to live without stability of the mind.

Don’t convince yourself that you can only have fun while drinking and stand firm that you can hang out with family or friends without drinking. One line to draw is that no one badgers you or says something negative because you’re not drinking. Give them one chance, stop the conversation, and set a boundary. If they can’t respect that, they are not your friend nor do they care about you. Parents and family can be the worst, hold the line clearly and if they break your boundary again don’t be around them. The psychology behind what they are doing quite frankly is disrespecting you.

 

Photo by Helena Lopes on Pexels.com

 

Alcohol is like a drug, and you become addicted to it, it’s also easy to see alcohol as a comfort that makes the day easier. I get that, I understand that and I know that when you are ready to quit drinking YOU CAN. Seek out all the support you need, just don’t turn to a replacement addiction. Everyone is different and how we move past an addiction is different, don’t compare yourself to others, or buy into that you have to recover a certain way. There is no certain way, you have to make your own, just don’t do it alone.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Cooking · DIY · Family · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Blogger Highlight-A Day in the Life of a Latvian Mom

Pardon the mess WordPress made out of the alignment. It looks fine in Editor but when reviewed it’s a complete mess. No surprise. Let’s put the frustration aside and enjoy reading about Ilze’s blog. 

 

Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week we highlight the blog A Day in the Life of a Latvian Mom. Ilze and I haven’t followed each other long but you would never know it. We became fast friends and now we talk almost every day. She is inspirational, logical with a touch of whimsy, and I can’t forget to say what a great photographer she is.  

A Day in the Life of a Latvian Mom

by Ilze

Hello! I’m Ilze, a mom of three wonderful kids who arrived in quick succession. This beautiful chaos led me to step away from my IT career to embrace motherhood fully.

Before becoming a mom, I built a career in IT, earning degrees in Programming and Computer Science. Almost two years ago, I accepted a position at a dream company after months of consideration, and I haven’t looked back since!

My blogging journey began with greeting card making, which eventually led to opening a photo studio to spend more time with my family. However, I soon realized I needed a change and discovered my love for making beeswax candles, experimenting with sweet aromas like green tea and lemon.

A couple of recent posts I particularly enjoyed:

Sunday: Finding the Light in One of Many Tunnels

One thing I admire about Ilze is she can multitask until bone tired and still find humor in the day. What a blessing. The greatest lesson I took away from the posts is there is Physics to everything and life is how we look at it. This is a photo of her husband on a Zoom call with colleagues in Canada while he’s holding the water over the outdoor shower so Ilze can take her shower. Life can’t get much funnier! 

 

Ilze is a devoted cook and has an archive full of delicious recipes to try your hand at. I saw this post and had to stop, drool, and think of how good it tasted. As my backing skills improve I will definitely try this cake. She has the ingredients and instructions laid out nicely so it is easy to follow. 

My favorite job is the one I’m currently in, which I started almost two years ago in client support. I enjoy it because it challenges me to think creatively and come up with solutions that aren’t always straightforward. I work with managers and stakeholders, helping them use the report-managing app eazyBI, which is a rewarding experience. What I’ve learned most from this job is how to assist with different management questions and how to build reports that are valuable for decision-making. Even when the work becomes overwhelming, I’m fortunate to have a great mentor and a supportive team, which has taught me the importance of collaboration and asking for guidance when needed.

Ilze is a multitasker to the nth degree, and she does it effortlessly, always with a good sense of humor, grounded in nature, and good manners, and being kind to all is not act! In her career, she’s been a professional photographer, had her own studio, and loves working in IT. 

You are short-changing yourself if you don’t stop by and say hello, you’ll make a fast friend and her archives are a walk through nature, life, cooking, foraging, and remodeling an 1880 derelict house by hand. 

Chronic Illness · Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward

Feeling Invisible With A Stoma By Guest Blogger And Friend Invisibly Me

Thanks to the incredible efforts of campaign groups, individuals, healthcare companies and charities, the world knows more about stomas. With that increased awareness comes a lot of good things, but unfortunately there’s still many ways in which those with an ostomy can feel ignored, misunderstood or sidelined. Here are just 5 ways in which we can be left feeling invisible with a stoma. 

[ This post is in honour of 5th October Stoma Awareness Day 2024, the theme of which is “Do You See Me?”]

 

A photo of me standing up with hands on hips with a black top, jeans and long red hair. The top is pulled up slightly to show a red and white Hello Kitty themed stoma bag cover.
A close up photo of a purple sticker on a wooden door that reads "not all disabilities are visible", with the hashtag "stoma friendly".

 

Make to to spend time searching Caz’s archives, she has written on so many topics and has often shared how she’s battled her chronic illnesses.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Family · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward · Survivor · Trauma

Sending My Love & Support To Ukraine

I had only heard of Ukraine a couple of times before Putin attacked Ukraine and knew nothing about Russia stealing Crimea away years prior. Since the war began, I think of Ukraine multiple times a day. The Ukrainian people are an example of community, love your neighbor, help one, help all, and they are strong to the core.

I’ve heard Ukrainians talk to reporters and talk about what happened to their house or how a family member was killed but one thing I DON”T hear is complaining. I believe in my heart that someone would share their last meal, true humanity.

I admire President Zelenski, he’s on the ground with the soldiers, and he talks about reality, he appears to be a humble man but with the strength of a million bulls. His determination and commitment to his country is why so many soldiers from other countries, including America came to fight in the war. He doesn’t put on airs, blow smoke, or play games. I love how he dresses the same regardless of who he meets, that tells me so much about him. He’s focused on the war, winning, and building a better life for all Ukrainians.

I have seen many interviews since the war started and I’m always struck by the resilience of the Ukrainian people. I see the sadness in their eyes yet I see hope. They have faith in a brighter day and make the best of every moment, and no doubt it’s much worse than what I see on television. To see neighbors taking care of a child who lost his mother while his father is on the front line is overwhelming heartbreaking and joyful, the child is not left aside, it’s loved and cared for. It’s a miracle.

I’ve gone out of my way to purchase items from Ukraine to help the few who can work continue to make a living. Etsy.com has a large community of Ukrainian sellers and they truly appreciate your business. The homemade wool items I’ve purchased from Woven Wool Art are high-quality and the seller will take custom orders. The extra cost of postage is nothing compared to helping someone who needs to work. Check Etsy out, if you order fast enough your items will get here by the holidays.

I’m sending hugs to all the Ukrainian people. :)

America would be a great place to live if we had leadership like President Zelenski.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward · Self-Care

Why You Should Never Give Up on Finding Happiness

Life throws all kinds of challenges at us from the loss of loved ones to mental health issues that make us feel like we will never be happy again but you know what? No matter how hard life has been and no matter how challenging it continues to be, you should never give up on finding happiness. Here’s why:

1. New Treatments Are Popping Up Like Apps on Your Phone

Do you know how there’s always a new app for everything these days? Well, the same goes for treatments for depression. If traditional talk therapy and medication aren’t cutting it, don’t worry—science has got your back. Ketamine therapy, for instance, has been making waves as a game-changer for treating depression. Yep, you read that right. The same stuff that was once seen as party drug material is now helping people kick depression to the curb. And that’s just one example—there are new treatments being discovered all the time.

So, the next time you feel like you’ve exhausted all your options, remember: somewhere out there, someone’s cooking up a fresh, innovative approach that just might be your golden ticket to happiness.

2. Happiness Is Not One-Size-Fits-All

Let’s clear something up: happiness isn’t like a pair of skinny jeans that only fit one type of person. It’s more like sweatpants—different for everyone, and much more comfortable. So if what works for one person (say, mindfulness meditation or bubble baths) doesn’t work for you, don’t sweat it. Happiness comes in a million forms, and you just need to find the one that fits you best. Maybe it’s painting your dog’s toenails (no judgment) or starting a new hobby like indoor skydiving. Keep exploring until you stumble upon your happy place.

3. Happiness Is Closer Than You Think (No, Really)

I know, it’s cliché to say “happiness is right around the corner,” but sometimes it really is. It’s just that the corner might be at the end of a path you haven’t tried yet. Whether it’s giving a new therapist a shot, picking up that hobby you dropped in 2014, or even trying something as wild as ketamine therapy, there are countless avenues to happiness you might not have considered. Spoiler alert: happiness might be waiting for you at the next twist or turn.

4. Setbacks Don’t Mean Failure

Look, no one finds happiness on their first try—if they did, we’d all be running around like a bunch of overly enthusiastic puppies. Life has ups and downs, and yeah, sometimes it feels like you’re stuck in the downs. But remember, setbacks are just detours, not dead ends. It’s okay to feel frustrated, to take a break, or even to scream into a pillow (highly recommended, by the way). Just don’t give up on the journey entirely. You’re not finished yet.

5. Because You Deserve It

You’ve probably heard this a million times, but I’m going to say it again: you deserve to be happy. Full stop. It doesn’t matter how long it takes or how many times you stumble along the way—your happiness is worth fighting for.

Take a deep breath, and keep on pushing forward because who knows where it will take you?!

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Chronic Illness · Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Survivor

Am I Strong Enough?

You would think that the question would be easy to answer given the physical abuse by my mother which started at birth, my stepfather hitting me in the mouth with his fist, watching my mother being beaten by my stepfather from the day they were married, and the sexual abuse by my father. My childhood was beyond traumatic, and it didn’t stop when I became a preteen.

At 12 years old, I was living with my father who was incapable of being a father and had no rules. I was dating a 21-year-old dealer and addicted to speed. Every weekend was a different mix of exotic drugs to try. I skipped school for 45 days straight and my father had me put in Juvenile Detention for three days as punishment. I was so dead inside and totally lost that the sexual abuse didn’t phase me at the time.

There’s plenty more to talk about but I also had issues when I got older. I was sexually assaulted more than once, stalked three times, had Cervical Cancer at 27 years old, and had a total hysterectomy. That’s a lot to decide at 27 years old with no children but I made it clear at 12 years old that I didn’t want children.

My father committed suicide when I was 28 years old, the only positive is that I sought out treatment for my Bipolar Disorder. Sometimes I think he died so I would live.

I’ve had all the normal career challenges including being fired from a six-figure job for something I didn’t do. I didn’t get rich of the lawsuit but I proved my point, it was someone else’s lie and politics that got me fired. The lawsuit did prove to me how strong I was and how much badgering I could take from the other side.

I’ve had health issues large and small most of my life and I think I’m facing my biggest battle yet. My first day at The Mayo Clinic is 10/13/24 and after extensive testing, I will meet with my team of doctors and learn my diagnosis and the treatment plan. I have complete confidence in The Mayo and am working hard to prepare for whatever they find.

I feel calm most of the time with a tiny bit of fear for how my life could change. I’ve worked hard as always to not diagnose myself but I have run a few searches on Copilot that have given two possible answers. I’m not putting stock in that but it’s easy to believe when everything you put in the search comes back to the same answer. I’ll leave that for the doctors and won’t be surprised if it’s something completely different.

I won’t know if I’m strong enough until the reality comes but at least I have a good track record of survival. 

I’m sending a special thanks to everyone who has sent kind words of encouragement and well wishes. You are the sunshine in my life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Melinda

Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward · Self-Care

5 Mood-Boosting Fall and Winter Foods for Depression

A consistently healthy diet may ease symptoms of depression. Here are experts’ in-season picks for your plate.

Fall and winter can be brutal for people with depression. It gets dark early, resulting in far less exposure to mood-brightening sunlight, plus colder temperatures can make you just want to stay in bed.

In addition, it’s a time of year filled with the sugar-laden, high-fat holiday foods that are often least likely to benefit our mental health. “It’s a challenging time for eaters,” says Drew Ramsey, MD, a nutritional psychiatrist based in Jackson, Wyoming. “There’s lots of delicious stuff that oftentimes isn’t so great for our mood.”

Atlanta-based Jerlyn Jones, RDN, agrees, pointing out that the relationship between an unhealthy diet and depression is often a vicious cycle. “If you have a poor diet, then you’re going to feel more depressed. And when you feel more depressed, you’re probably going to eat more of those types of foods,” says Jones.

The good news: Diet is a modifiable risk factor for depression. In other words, simply loading up on whole foods like fruits and vegetables, fish, nuts, legumes, and the like can improve symptoms of this mood disorder in some people, according to research.

The problem is that when people feel stressed and depressed, they tend to crave comforting foods that are higher in sugar, salt, and fat, Jones says. Unfortunately, the instant relief you experience from those foods — especially the sugar-laden ones — dissolves quickly, which then can cause your mood to crash.

Not to mention that filling up on so-called “junk food” can make it hard to receive enough of the essential nutrients that the brain needs to function at its best, including B vitamins, folate, and magnesium.

“These vitamins and minerals have been inversely associated with depressive disorders,” Jones says. “Foods that are high in different nutrients can make you feel so much better.”

Wondering which healthy cold-weather foods can improve your mood? Experts advise increasing your intake of these five.

Brussels Sprouts Are High in Folate

These cruciferous vegetables are rich in folate — a B vitamin that helps with mood regulation in the brain, Jones says. Studies have shown that B vitamins like folic acid — a form of folate — may benefit people with depression, according to a review article

“This nutrient is linked to brain activity and increasing our moods,” says Jones. “Eating foods on a daily basis that are high in folate will help significantly improve the way you feel.”

Try adding raw, shredded Brussels sprouts to salads, or cut them in half, toss them with olive oil and spices, and roast them until brown.

Pomegranates Are Rich in Antioxidants

Another great fall food to eat regularly is pomegranate, a fruit high in antioxidants, Jones says. And it’s especially easy to reap this benefit because drinking pomegranate juice can significantly increase the number of antioxidants you take in, Jones notes.

In addition to their antioxidant content, pomegranates contain polyphenols, which have anti-inflammatory and antidepressant-like properties, according to a review article. “Inflammation is one of the root causes of depression, anxiety, and other mental health problems,” Dr. Ramsey says.

Pumpkins Boast a High Magnesium Content

These perennially popular fall fruits contain magnesium, which was linked to a lower risk of depressive symptoms and disorders in one systematic review.

Fitting this squash into your diet is easier than you may think — pumpkins are incredibly versatile. Try adding pureed pumpkin to soups, smoothies, and pasta sauces. Or simply snack on pumpkin seeds or toss them in a fall salad. “Pumpkin seeds are really one of our top [food] recommendations,” Ramsey says.

Sweet Potatoes Are Chock-Full of Vitamins

Usually harvested in September and October, sweet potatoes pack several essential nutrients — in particular, vitamin C. A meta-analysis concluded that higher levels of vitamin C are associated with reduced depressive symptoms, while lower levels of this vitamin are linked to increased symptoms, though more research is needed to confirm this association.

Winter Squash Is High in Vitamin B6

Winter squash comes in many forms — acorn squash, butternut squash, and spaghetti squash, to name a few. And each of them contain high amounts of vitamin B6, a nutrient shown to positively affect mood. One study found that a lower intake of vitamin B6 was associated with an increased risk of depression among more than 3,300 women.

More Tips for Healthy Seasonal Fare

Colder weather is a good time to consume more soup, especially clam chowders and seafood stews, says Ramsey. Dishes that contain mussels, clams, and oysters are dense with nutrients like magnesium, as well as omega-3 fatty acids, another nutrient that research suggests benefits people with depression. 

If you’re in the mood for something sweet, Ramsey advises swapping sugary holiday desserts for dark chocolate, which is packed with antioxidants and fiber.

“There’s now some interesting data about how the nutrients in dark chocolate are stimulating but also good for the brain, in the sense that people who eat dark chocolatetend to have less depression,” Ramsey says. 

Data from a survey of more than 13,000 U.S. adults showed that chocolate, especially dark chocolate, may be tied to a reduced risk of depressive symptoms.

Along with avoiding excess sugar, Ramsey advises being mindful of how much alcohol you consume around the holiday season.

“There’s a lot of drinking during the holidays, and alcohol can be awful if you have depression,” Ramsey says. “It tends to make people feel better in the short term, and then worse the next day.”

If you need help planning good-mood-friendly meals, the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s online tool MyPlate offers quizzes and hundreds of recipes to get you started.

The Takeaway

Although diet isn’t a cure for depression, eating nutritious foods can help people with the condition feel better. This fall and winter, consider adding seasonal fruits and vegetables rich in mood-enhancing nutrients like folate, antioxidants, and magnesium to your plate (think Brussels sprouts, pomegranates, and sweet potatoes, for example).

“There’s a lot of drinking during the holidays, and alcohol can be awful if you have depression,” Ramsey says. “It tends to make people feel better in the short term, and then worse the next day.”

If you need help planning good-mood-friendly meals, the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s online tool MyPlate offers quizzes and hundreds of recipes to get you started.

Resources We Trust

Melinda

Reference:

By Leona Vaughn Medically Reviewed by Reyna Franco, RDN courtesy of American College of Lifestyle Medicine

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Mental Health

Wordless Wednesday

I’m glad you joined me on Wordless Wednesday and I hope to see you soon.

 

 

The Hydrangeas didn’t turn out as well as they looked in the editor. But you get a good look at the art piece. I shopped the house to find something to fill in the wall.

Melinda

Health and Wellbeing · Internet Good/Bad · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Trauma

I’m Being Paranoid

A little backstory will help here. I was stalked in 2017-2018 by someone I knew on WordPress, I didn’t know it at the time. They stalked me for seven months and wreaked havoc on my life. It started the day my Twitter account was hacked and they made it look like two people I was close to were the ones stalking me. I was completely shocked and for some reason I contacted WordPress, and they told me that the DNS address was one of my close friends. I was even more confused now. Why would they stalk me?

Over the coming months, they hacked my phone and my computer, sending me text messages that didn’t make sense, and when I would be typing a post they would change the words. I started asking them questions like do you plan to hurt me, are you a mean person and similar questions. I received back jibberish but felt they didn’t want to hurt me. The texts were the worst, I had no idea what they were saying so I started asking who they were. I would get back an initial but it didn’t match anyone I knew.  

It ended badly but one day they sent me an initial I recognized, and as soon as I said her name, I never heard from her again. 

Fast forward all these years, and someone from the country she lived in is searching my archives, it’s not a bot just 20 or so posts a day but the hairs went up on my neck. This has been happening for a couple of weeks, and I’ve become paranoid. It doesn’t sound logical but the trauma from the experience came rushing back. I can’t tell who they are, only that they are on Facebook. 

Have you experienced this type of unfounded fear before?

Melinda

Photo by Khoa Vu00f5 on Pexels.com
Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward

Just Pondering

Hi, I’m glad you stopped by, and I look forward to seeing you soon. 

No matter how busy or hectic life gets, we all need to let our hair down every now and then and have some fun. Stomping in puddles, going down a slide at the local playground…..

When was the last time you let loose?

 

 

Hiking Verna Falls Yosemite National Park

 

Playing in the rain sounds great to me, and so does playing on a slippery slide or swinging off a rope into the lake. As for the last time I let loose, who knows.

Melinda

 

Family · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward · Survivor · Trauma · Travel

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Domestic violence not only traumatizes the woman but also their children. My mother married my stepfather when I was seven years old and I watched him beat her to a pulp almost daily until I moved out at 12 years old. She screamed out in pain, begged for her life, and cared for her wounds privately to not set him off again. He was an alcoholic but that is not what made him an abuser, that came from within for reasons no one will know.

I watched him drag her down the hall, beating her head from side to side so she would hit both walls, all the while she was begging and crying for him to stop. What’s crazy is that I hated my mother, she was my abuser but down deep she was my mother and it pained me to watch her be treated that way. She stayed married to him until he was beating her and my brother took out a shotgun and made him leave.

You might ask “Why didn’t she just leave?” There are so many reasons women don’t leave, one is their children. How do you prepare to leave when you are watched like a hawk? How do you squirrel away enough money to live, relocate, move your kids out of school, and pay rent? It’s nearly impossible. One attitude the abuser takes is that they own the woman and they will go to any lengths to keep her. To get her to come back, the most common is the sweet personality change and wooing her back only to beat her more.

At the same time, they are beating a woman, they are also degrading her and some women think they deserve it over time which causes them to stay. Some women stay out of fear and others know they will be hunted down, some will have a child kidnapped or the abuser will call the police claiming she left with the kids and make up a wild story that the police have to check out.

I’ve met many women while blogging who were in violent relationships and saw what they went through to leave, the heartbreak after, and all the horrific acts towards them and each one was so traumatic you ask yourself, “How did they make it?” Each one is a survivor!

It’s important to know that men also have violent relationships. There can be shame involved and that is why many men don’t come forward but they are not forgotten. They are survivors as well and often carry a big burden by not seeking help or telling anyone.


How to Offer Support

  1. Get Resources – don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help.
  2. Supporting Survivors – what to say and how to help
  3. Bystander Intervention – real-life examples to help prepare you to take action
Of course, if you see, hear, or suspect that someone is in immediate danger, call 911 immediately.
———
This article by No More gives you examples of how to support someone who is in a domestic violence relationship.

Melinda

Reference:

https://www.nomore.org/know-the-facts/

 

Celebrate Life · Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward · Survivor

Empowering Survivors to Vote Safely

Ahead of the upcoming US presidential election, NO MORE is committed to helping survivors of domestic violence and stalking participate safely in the democratic process. This month we launched a new State Voting Guide for Survivors, outlining key options to help survivors protect their privacy and security while making their voices heard. 

 

By consolidating this critical information in one place, the guide simplifies the voting process every step of the way. NO MORE will continue to provide information for survivors, as well as for their friends, employers, and communities to help support them. 

No More State Voter Guide

Thank you, No More for supporting and thinking of how to protect us in each situation.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Chronic Illness · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Infectious Diease · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

You Know It’s Crazy When…

If you haven’t followed me long, you may not be aware of the health struggles I’ve had dating back to 2010. Not only have I had a major run-in with what might have been the end of my life, but since 2012 I’ve suffered with severe balance issues and cognitive impairment. Although I don’t have a clue what The Mayo will diagnose me with, I am totally confident in their ability to find answers and get me the right treatment.

This post is something I’ve been laughing so hard about because it can only be funny. I’ve been wishing this one plant to have babies for the past year or two to no avail. Today, I was looking at it again, trying to understand why it hasn’t had a baby. Then the brick hit me, it’s an artificial plant! It makes me laugh every time I think about it. Apparently, I was very sick when I planted it thinking it was a live plant only to find today, that it won’t have any babies. HAHA!!!!!!!

I chose to find it funny, how could I not? I won’t kick myself for being too sick to know the difference. I believe this general attitude is why I keep pushing forward in life and can deal with what comes my way. Who needs a kick in the ass?

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Self-Care

5 Tips That Help Me Fall Asleep

by Elizabeth Drucker

•••••

Medically Reviewed by:

Bethany Juby, PsyD

When you’re living with depression, sleeping doesn’t always come easily. Here are my go-to tricks when I can’t seem to wind down.

When my psychiatrist is worried about me, she always asks me how I’m sleeping. When my depression is getting the best of me, I tend to thrash around on my bed for hours. I seem to wake up every hour.

Here are some tips that have helped me get the sleep that I need so I can function throughout the day.

1. Listen to music

I’ve found that listening to music can relax me to the point that I drift off. I have a playlist on Pandora filled with familiar songs that I really like.

It’s fun to take an hour or two to sort out the songs that work best for you. They can be anything: alternative, pop, classical. You might even want to listen to nature sounds or recordings from the ocean. 

The point is that you find something that makes you relax and that you want to hear. There are some phone apps that you can use that have relaxing sounds, too. I also have a clock with recorded songs on it that help me relax.

2. Take a hot shower before bed

When I’m getting ready to fall asleep, I have a routine that always includes a hot shower. This helps me relax. 

Routines like these are helpful for depression. It might also be helpful to use body wash with scents that you like. 

When you’re living with depression, you can find ways to fight back at it with all the five senses. 

3. Try anxiety reduction techniques 

Anxiety and depression can be related. There are times when I can’t sleep because I’m so worried about something. This feeds into my depression. 

There are many techniques to help reduce anxiety. One thing I do is take deep breaths, slowly and gently. I notice that when I’m anxious, it feels harder to breathe, so this really helps. 

I may also try writing a list of all the things that I’m worried about — just to get them out of my head so I can focus more on sleep. Identifying what you’re anxious about is an important step in combatting it.

4. Use positive self-talk

When I’m depressed and having trouble sleeping, I start getting very frustrated. I also tend to think negatively about myself. Everything I do is wrong. If I can do something to reverse this, it really helps. 

The goal is to counter the depression with everything that is positive. It might sound wild, but one really good way to do this is to talk to yourself. I try to speak calmly and gently to myself all the time. 

I acknowledge that, yes, I’m in a depressed mood. But I need to take care of myself and get the sleep I need to be able to function in the morning.

5. Believe that it will get better

One of the hardest parts of coping with depression is feeling like it will go on forever. This can make trying to fall asleep more complicated and overwhelming. 

Keep reminding yourself that depression often comes in waves and things will get better. This is one thing that always helps me when I’m struggling to fall asleep and worrying about it being a never-ending problem.

The takeaway 

When it comes down to it, it’s important to take care of yourself with self-compassion. Depression can make it harder to fall asleep, but you don’t need to just accept that. Fight back with whatever works best for you. 

Try to include things that engage the five senses. Also, keep track of your sleep and tell a mental health professional if you’re unable to sleep. Sometimes, medication is a necessary step. There have been times when my doctor needed to prescribe medication to help me get some sleep. 

What matters is finding ways that help you get the amount of sleep you need to feel rested and ready to take on the day.

The key is to do what works for you, give a suggestion a go, and if it doesn’t move to the next. As much as I love music, it doesn’t help me fall asleep, in fact just the opposite, it wakes my brain up. Going to bed earlier than my sleep time has been most helpful to me. I have the room quiet, pamper myself with some good lotion, and arthritis cream, and the air diffuser is on with Lavender oil which relaxes me. I relax between 45 minutes to an hour before sleep time and I’m ready to fall asleep the majority of the time.

Melinda

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