I’m glad you joined me on Wordless Wednesday and I hope to see you soon.
Melinda
Category: Mental Health
Coffee May Help With Seasonal Affective Disorder
But it’s coffee to the rescue. When examining prior studies on the effects of diet and exercise on mood, researchers noted a correlation between coffee consumption and increased mood. Specifically, they found that consuming 75mg of caffeine—roughly one cup of coffee—once every four hours “could result in a pattern of sustained mood improvement over the course of the day.” Mood, energy, alertness, and concentration were all improved by participants in the study, per the Independent.
But it’s more than caffeine. Giuseppe Grosso, an assistant professor at the University of Catania in Italy and lead author, states that some of coffee’s macronutrients may also be having a positive effect on the brain. Per Gross, polyphenols may be able to pass from the blood into the brain, where they can have anti-neuroinflammatory effects as well as aid in the formation of new neurons. These could additionally help in easing the risk of affective disorders like SAD.
With the weather changing, chances are you may be drinking more coffee already. And as luck would have it, drinking coffee may be doing you more good than you knew.
Zac Cadwalader is the managing editor at Sprudge Media Network and a staff writer based in Dallas. Read more Zac Cadwalader on Sprudge.
Melinda
Caregiver To Grieving In Four Days
I’ve reposted this post several times over the years and 2010 was the original post. It’s critical to acknowledge how difficult life is for a caregiver and to think of ways to support them.
——
Each day was a roller coaster of how he felt and how exhausted I was. I learned so much being a caregiver to my grandmother and grandfather. As the population ages, many of you will take on the responsibility. One of the most difficult changes was going from granddaughter to caregiver. Even at 92 my grandfather had a strong mind and felt he didn’t need help. I pray for strength every day.
My grandfather died in 2010 at the young age of 92 years old. I spent more time with him in 2010 year than I spent at home. I cherish the time we had together, no matter how painful. They are my memories and my life changed forever with his death. His health declined so fast that for two days I did not realize that he was dying now, not in a couple of weeks. He was at home under hospice care and would not get in the hospital bed until two days before he passed. He fell out of bed that morning, he was so weak it was difficult for me to get him back in bed. I don’t think we would have been able to talk him into moving to the hospital bed if he had not fallen. For him the bed meant death and he was still fighting. My grandfather had End Stage Kidney Disease. An emergency trip to the hospital for his AFIB is how we learned he had about two months to live. We knew his kidneys were losing function but I was not ready for a timeline. His doctor had not given me that impression on a recent visit so I asked her to review the hospital records. I was not surprised but very saddened that she agreed with the prognosis. It took a couple weeks for my grandfather to believe the doctors were right. Kidney failure is a silent killer and luckily not a painful one. You start sleeping more until you sleep yourself into a coma.
I arrived on Sunday afternoon after two days of relief and he didn’t look any different. Monday morning I knew he was out of it by the things he was saying but thought it was a bad day. Tuesday I knew he was weak when he fell out of bed and felt like dead weight. It took everything in me to get him back in bed. My grandfather died on Thursday. What the doctors did not tell me is people his age die faster, the end came weeks sooner than we thought. I’m so thankful that my grandfather and I had time together to say what we wanted to say, cry about the loss and enjoy the memories. I have no regrets.
Cleaning out the house was so hard, 46 years of memories were everywhere. My grandmother left notes on everything, it was like mourning her death as I found each note. Notes on the back of photos, on little pieces of paper, and even on masking tape. I knew all the notes were there, we had looked at them many times but it was different this time. Everything was packed up this time and the house cleared out. My grandparents raised me so I’ve lost parents, they were the best you could ever pray for. The house is empty but I see my life in every room, the great memories with my grandparents are everywhere you look. I am starting a new chapter in my life. It’s a long journey ahead.
Melinda
Repost from 2010
Friday Quote
Thank you for joining me for this week’s Friday Quote.
Melinda
Agoraphobia: Symptoms, Causes and Treatment Options
Agoraphobia is a common but often misunderstood anxiety disorder that can make everyday situations feel overwhelming or even impossible; understanding the signs and seeking the right support can help you reclaim your freedom,
Many mental health conditions are simply extreme degrees of minor challenges that most people face regularly. It’s perfectly natural to feel some nervousness when you’re going somewhere you’ve never been before or going to a crowded place where there are a lot of people you don’t know; But, agoraphobia is different.
If that slight tinge of nervousness becomes intense anxiety that prevents you from doing things you normally would, it might be a condition called agoraphobia.
What Is Agoraphobia?
Agoraphobia is an intense fear of situations where there may not be an easy way to escape or where you may feel trapped or helpless.
At its core, it’s a phobia of being in a situation where you’re panicking and there’s not an easy way out. This typically translates into a fear of familiar places, crowds, public transportation and very open areas like large parking lots and open water.
In any given year, about 2% of people experience agoraphobia. That is about 6.8 million people in the US. It’s more commonly diagnosed in women than in men.
Agoraphobia can have a profound impact on your daily life. It can range in severity from avoiding certain activities you might otherwise enjoy, like parties, concerts or other large social events, to being unable to leave your home.
Some people become homebound for years or are unable to maintain a career and care for themselves because of it.
The Relationship Between Agoraphobia and Anxiety and Panic Disorders
Agoraphobia, like any other phobia, is a type of anxiety disorder. But it also has a unique relationship to panic disorders.
Agoraphobia often develops after a panic attack in a public place where escape feels impossible. Even if you were able to get out of the situation the first time, you have a fear that next time you won’t be able to.
Symptoms of Agoraphobia
The symptoms of agoraphobia include an extreme fear of:
- Unfamiliar places
- Public spaces, especially crowded places
- Waiting in line
- Leaving home by yourself
- Using public transportation
- Enclosed spaces outside your home, like elevators or movie theaters
- Large open spaces like parking lots or open water
Agoraphobia is specific to these types of circumstances, where you might not have a clear path to safety. Extreme anxiety in situations other than these might indicate other anxiety disorders.
Where’s the Line Between Worry and Agoraphobia?
One of the tricky aspects of phobias is understanding the difference between a “normal” amount of anxiety about a particular situation and a phobia. While only a mental health professional can diagnose agoraphobia, you could have this condition if:
- Your level of anxiety in the situation is out of proportion with the actual danger
- Your fear prevents you from doing things you would otherwise enjoy, like certain social outings
- You stop doing certain things or going places unless you have a trusted companion with you
- You’re experiencing these symptoms for six months or longer
When you’re in a situation that triggers your agoraphobia, the symptoms can manifest in physical, emotional or psychological and behavioral ways.
In these situations, physical symptoms can include:
- Tightness in your chest
- Rapid heartbeat
- Shortness of breath or hyperventilating (breathing too fast)
- Dizziness or disorientation
- Shaking or trembling
- Sweating even though you’re not warm
- Upset stomach
Meanwhile, the emotional or psychological symptoms can include:
- Dread
- Fixating on what could go wrong
- Feeling a loss of control
- Fear that you’re dying
During agoraphobia triggering situations, you may also have these behavioral symptoms:
- Avoiding certain situations, like crowded places
- Only going to certain places if you have someone with you
- Only going to certain places or events after planning out escape routes or what to do if you need to get out
Causes and Risk Factors of Agoraphobia
How do you know if you’re at risk for developing agoraphobia? It usually develops in the teenage or early adult years and does seem to have a genetic link. People who have a close relative with agoraphobia are more likely to develop it. Some studies indicate that the heritability is as high as 48-61%.
Genetics isn’t the only factor, though. There are often traumas and life experiences that contribute to agoraphobia, especially trauma that occurs in childhood. This can include abuse, being attacked or the loss of someone with whom you felt safe, such as a parent.
It’s also important to note that many people with agoraphobia have other mental health conditions too, like panic disorder, depression or PTSD. In particular, a large number of people with agoraphobia already had a panic disorder.Their agoraphobia may have been triggered after having a panic attack in a place where they felt unsafe or helpless.
While a panic attack in a public place might trigger agoraphobia, often these people already had some level of anxiety in these situations. So it may be a combination of panic disorder and existing agoraphobic tendencies.
How Agoraphobia Affects Daily Life
One of the hallmarks of a phobia or other anxiety disorders is its impact on your daily life and the limitations that it creates for you. It can affect your work, romantic relationships, family relationships and social life in numerous ways.
You may decline social events and invitations due to anxiety about the situation, or struggle to complete work assignments if they involve situations that make you anxious. You could be limited in the types of jobs you can accept.
Maybe you can only able to perform jobs where you can work from home or jobs that don’t involve situations in public or crowded places. Finally, your relationships may suffer because you aren’t able to join loved ones for the things they enjoy doing.
Agoraphobia can even prevent you from taking care of yourself and living independently, especially when it is severe. It could prevent you from doing essential tasks like going to the grocery store or running other errands, such as going to the doctor.
Finally, agoraphobia can have a substantial impact on your mental health, especially if you have co occurring conditions already. It can worsen conditions like depression, because you feel trapped at home or aren’t able to do activities that could boost your serotonin. In some cases, it can make substance use disorder worse, too.
Agoraphobia changed my life over five years ago. I don’t drive, walk outside of house, only leave the house for doctors appointments or to see my hairdresser. It’ also affected the activities I did in the past with my husband. I’ve read some great information on how to slowly gain confidence on being by myself. I have a plan to start as soon as my shoulder heals from surgery.
If Agoraphobia is impacting you quality of life, I hear you, and wish you all the best at venturing out when the time is right for you.
I am in no way supporting the site or it’s service offers, it is just the great information.
Melinda
To read the entire article click HERE.
Reference:
Friday Quote
Thank you for joining me for this week’s Friday Quote.
Melinda
#Weekend Music Share-Train – Meet Virginia (Official HD Video)
It’s the weekend!!!!!!
I’m glad you joined me for another edition of Weekend Music Share this week.
Have a great weekend!
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
Daily Writing Prompt
I think everyone needs to know they matter, their life matters, health matters, with that foundation we can move forward on solid ground.
Melinda
Make Some Healthy Changes And See A Difference In Your Health
A few changes can lead to significant benefits. This also applies to our health. Making some changes in our daily life we can put the first elements in motion for a complete rebirth. If you suffer with a chronic illness, it is even more important to start looking after your health and boosting your immune system. If you have a disability, even if you use a mobility scooter, you still try to move, only gently, if possible. Mobile scooters give disabled people the independence that they deserve and coupled with excellent diet and lifestyle, you can start to regain some confidence and happiness.
Eat your veggies
Vegetables are divided into two categories: starchy and non-starchy. Starchy vegetables are potatoes, corn and beans, non-starchy are spinach and other leafy vegetables, carrots, broccoli and cauliflower. Starchy vegetables have more calories than non-starchy ones. So by filling half the plate with non-starchy vegetables you ensure that you will receive all the necessary nutrients, water and fiber, but without many extra calories. It’s an easy strategy not to bother with calorie and portion counting. Processed carbohydrates, have almost no nutrients and no fiber. The only thing they have is calories that can make you gain weight.
In fact, a diet rich in processed carbohydrates – white bread, buns, white pastries, sweets, etc. – can increase the risk of developing type II diabetes and heart disease. Get rid of the bad habits! Unprocessed carbohydrates such as brown rice and whole grains enhance your diet with “good” calories, fiber, vitamins and minerals. Fatty fish such as salmon are an excellent source of omega – 3 fats, which are essential for good heart health and reducing inflammation in the body. They also enhance mental health. Drink green tea because this is going to be important to those with disabilities as it helps work as a toxin remover.
Disconnect from everything one hour before bedtime
Quality sleep is the alpha and omega for health. And one of the things that destroys it is technology. Devices that emit “blue light”, a type of wave that is common during the day, “confuse” the brain, making it think it is morning. So by avoiding screen time before bed, you can improve the quality of sleep.
Sleep at the same (approximately) time every day
In addition to poor sleep quality, many people have trouble sleeping. This is largely due to poor rest planning. Having a specific time when you fall asleep, you train your body clock so that you can fall asleep more easily. At the same time, scheduled bedtime has a positive effect on concentration and memory.
Keep up with regular checkups
t may seem very low on the list of things you have to do, but it is important to keep up with those regular health checks. Whether that is booking a hearing check at your local hearing center, or heading to the optician to get your eyes checked, these things are important to keep up the quality of life that you have.
Limit socializing with negative people.
Even a little negativity is enough to get you down. Try to spend more time with happy and optimistic people. If you have negative people in your inner circle, try to convey some of your positive thinking to them and change the direction. The rest is up to you and how you treat yourself. Don’t be hard on yourself and appreciate all the little things. Remember self-care is not selfish.
Collaborative Post
Melinda
Repost
Wordless Wednesday-Morning Fog
I’m glad you joined me on Wordless Wednesday and I hope to see you soon.
Melinda
Why You Need to Redefine Self-Care Beyond What the Media Shows
It’s really sad to say, but to a degree self-care has become a buzzword frequently portrayed in media and online as indulgent bubble baths, retail therapy, and the occasional junk food binge. Not just in shows, or in advertisements triyng to sell you stuff, but even on social media by the people you know, and of course by content creators too.
While yes, buying indulges and buying things that you love can actually be a really nice way to show yourself some life, you have to keep in mind that these also only offer temporary relief, and so true self-care is far more profound and personal. It’s about nurturing your mental, emotional, and physical well-being in ways that genuinely enrich Dr your life. So, with that said, it’s best to explore what self-care really means and how you can embrace it in a more meaningful way.
Understanding True Self-Care
Self-care is often misunderstood as a quick fix or an escape from reality. However, true self-care involves intentional actions that support your overall health and happiness. It’s about listening to your body and mind, understanding your needs, and taking steps to meet those needs in healthy and sustainable ways. This might mean setting boundaries, saying no to commitments that drain you, or seeking help when you need it.
Mindful Self-Practices
Basically, the less love and care you show yourself, the higher the chances of stress and even the potential of forming anxiety. Actually, true self-care is often found in the small, mindful practices that help you stay grounded and connected to yourself. This might include a daily walk in nature, practicing yoga, or spending time on a hobby that you love. It’s about finding joy and peace in the everyday moments.
But this isn’t always the case; mindful practices will vary from person to person. While one person might feel relaxed walking out on a trail in nature, there might be someone else who feels more at ease and relaxed if you’re at home and using delta-8 THC gummies since these offer a more calming and gentle effect. But overall, mindful practices help prevent chronic anxiety from forming, and again, the best way to go about it really varies from person to person.
The Illusion of Instant Gratification
The media often promotes self-care as something that provides instant gratification—like a shopping spree or indulging in comfort food. By all means, yes, while these activities can offer momentary pleasure, they don’t address the deeper issues that may be affecting your well-being.
In fact, relying on these quick fixes can sometimes lead to feelings of guilt or regret afterward. So, you have to understand that true self-care involves making choices that contribute to your long-term well-being, even if they don’t provide immediate pleasure.
You Have to Think About Emotional Health
Just think of it this way: You’re spending money on things that give you small bits of gratification immediately, like junk food, but at the end of the day, you’re going to feel bad for the money you spent, and you might feel physically bad too because, well, it’s junk food. The same goes for shopping sprees too. Now, emotional health usually gets overlooked in mainstream portrayals. You need to understand your thoughts and gain clarity on what you need to feel balanced and fulfilled.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
Feeling Sad for No Reason? Potential Causes and Coping Tips
Feeling sad all the time for no specific reason doesn’t always mean you have depression, but it does suggest you could be experiencing something more complex than sadness alone.
Sadness is a temporary state that often has a clear cause, like a big disappointment, the loss of someone close to you, or bad news from someone you love.
This type of sadness can fluctuate throughout the day. In certain moments, the emotional burden might feel particularly heavy. You might cry often, feel numb or drained, and struggle to concentrate.
At other times — when you get lost in something you enjoy or when a loved one distracts you — your sorrow may seem light enough that you can barely feel its weight. While it might linger in some form for days or weeks, it generally begins to ease naturally.
Persistent sadness is something else entirely. It can wrap around you like a heavy blanket, muffling the sensations and joy of everyday life. This sadness can leave you feeling low, empty, and defeated. You don’t know what caused your unhappiness, so you have no idea how to start feeling better.
Feeling sad isn’t at all unusual. After all, sorrow is a normal human response to disappointment and loss. Sadness that doesn’t have a clear reason behind it and doesn’t seem to improve, however, may suggest something else is going on.
Could it be depression?
While not everyone with depression will feel sad, unexplainable sadness you can’t seem to shake is one of the primary signs of depression.
If your sadness does relate to depression, you’ll likely feel sad nearly all of the time — almost every day, for most of each day, for a period of 2 weeks or longer. Sadness, in other words, seems to become a constant companion.
With depression, you’ll experience other symptoms, too. If several of the signs below accompany your sad or tearful mood, there’s a good chance you’re dealing with depression:
- feelings of anxiety or emptiness
- a sense of pessimism and hopelessness about the future
- increased irritability
- feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness
- little interest in the things you usually enjoy
- fatigue, lack of energy
- unexplained physical tension, pain, or digestive issues
- changes in sleep patterns
- slowed movements or speech
- restlessness or agitation
- trouble with concentration, memory, and decision making
- appetite changes
Chronic sadness, especially when related to depression, might also prompt regular thoughts of death or suicide. Even if you don’t have a plan to act on these thoughts, it’s always best to talk to someone you trust and get support right away (more on how to do this later).
Other factors to consider
You might begin to notice your feelings of sadness, along with any other symptoms you experience, follow a specific pattern. Depression can take different forms, and various underlying factors can have an impact on the way your symptoms show up.
A few things to look for:
Rapid shifts in mood
People living with bipolar disorder often experience episodes of depression as part of a cycle that also includes episodes of mania or hypomania.
You might notice you suddenly feel intensely happy, even euphoric. This abrupt change in mood might also involve:
- impulsive behavior
- restlessness and irritability
- a renewed sense of energy that leaves you fixating on certain projects or activities
- an increase in confidence and self-esteem
- less of a need for sleep
This episode might last a week, or longer.
Somewhere around 40 percentTrusted Source of people with bipolar disorder have what’s known as mixed features. You could experience sadness and other symptoms of depression at the same time as mania.
This combination of symptoms can make it harder to understand what you’re experiencing, which could add to your distress.
Seasonal sadness
Maybe your sadness seems to arrive or intensify around the same time of year the days begin to shorten. Once the longer, sunnier days of spring and summer arrive, you feel better, year after year.
It’s pretty common to feel a little low in autumn and winter. The nights get long and cold, and there are plenty of days when you may not even see the sun.
If this seasonal sadness persists and becomes serious enough to affect daily life, you could have seasonal affective disorder (SAD), a type of depression that occurs along with seasonal changes.
Along with other common depression symptoms, you might also notice:
- angry, pessimistic, or frustrated thoughts about the weather
- withdrawal or increased avoidance of social settings
- an increased desire to eat and sleep
To read the complete article here.
There are many reasons we feel sad, and luckily, there’s a wealth of knowledge to help you navigate. My first step would be to call your doctor.
Melinda
Repost
What is Hypocalcemia? My latest diaognosis
Earlier in the month I was diagnosed with persistent Hypocalcemia. The lack of calcium can cause many problems but the most troubling to me at this time is more Osteoporosis which I already have in my hip and heart complications, which I already have several heart issues.
Like everyone my appointment was pushed out and we wait out the social distancing to get back to normal. I’m lucky that I don’t have the worst symptoms yet.
Hypocalcemia (Calcium Deficiency Disease)
What’s calcium deficiency disease?
Calcium is a vital mineral. Your body uses it to build strong bones and teeth. Calcium is also needed for your heart and other muscles to function properly. When you don’t get enough calcium, you increase your risk of developing disorders like:
- osteoporosis
- osteopenia
- calcium deficiency disease (hypocalcemia)
Children who don’t get enough calcium may not grow to their full potential height as adults.
You should consume the recommended amount of calcium per day through the food you eat, supplements, or vitamins.
What causes hypocalcemia?
Many people are at an increased risk for calcium deficiency as they age. This deficiency may be due to a variety of factors, including:
- poor calcium intake over a long period of time, especially in childhood
- medications that may decrease calcium absorption
- dietary intolerance to foods rich in calcium
- hormonal changes, especially in women
- certain genetic factors
It’s important to ensure proper calcium intake at all ages.
For children and teenagers, the recommended daily allowances for calcium are the same for both sexes. According to the National Institutes of Health (NIH), the daily allowances are:
According to the U.S. government’s dietary guidelinesTrusted Source, calcium requirements for adults are:
Women need to increase their calcium intake earlier in life than men, starting in middle age. Meeting the necessary calcium requirement is particularly important as a woman approaches menopause.
The hormone disorder hypoparathyroidism may also cause calcium deficiency disease. People with this condition don’t produce enough parathyroid hormone, which controls calcium levels in the blood.
During menopause, women should also increase their calcium intake to reduce the risk of osteoporosis and calcium deficiency disease. The decline in the hormone estrogen during menopause causes a woman’s bones to thin faster.
Other causes of hypocalcemia include malnutrition and malabsorption. Malnutrition is when you’re not getting enough nutrients, while malabsorption is when your body can’t absorb the vitamins and minerals you need from the food you eat. Additional causes include:
- low levels of vitamin D, which makes it harder to absorb calcium
- medications, such phenytoin, phenobarbital, rifampin, corticosteroids, and drugs used to treat elevated calcium levels
- pancreatitis
- hypermagnesemia and hypomagnesemia
- hyperphosphatemia
- septic shock
- massive blood transfusions
- renal failure
- certain chemotherapy drugs
- “Hungry bone syndrome,” which may occur after surgery for hyperparathyroidism
- removal of parathyroid gland tissue as part of surgery to remove the thyroid gland
If you miss your daily dose of calcium, you won’t become calcium deficient overnight. But it’s still important to make an effort to get enough calcium every day, since the body uses it quickly. Vegans are more likely to become calcium deficient quickly because they don’t eat calcium-rich dairy products.
Calcium deficiency won’t produce short-term symptoms because the body maintains calcium levels by taking it directly from the bones. But long-term low levels of calcium can have serious effects.
What are the symptoms of hypocalcemia?
Early stage calcium deficiency may not cause any symptoms. However, symptoms will develop as the condition progresses.
Severe symptoms of hypocalcemia include:
- confusion or memory loss
- muscle spasms
- numbness and tingling in the hands, feet, and face
- depression
- hallucinations
- muscle cramps
- weak and brittle nails
- easy fracturing of the bones
Calcium deficiencies can affect all parts of the body, resulting in weak nails, slower hair growth, and fragile, thin skin.
Calcium also plays an important role in both neurotransmitter release and muscle contractions. So, calcium deficiencies can bring on seizures in otherwise healthy people.
If you start experiencing neurological symptoms like memory loss, numbness and tingling, hallucinations, or seizures, make an appointment to see your doctor as soon as possible.
How’s calcium deficiency disease diagnosed?
Contact your doctor if you have symptoms of calcium deficiency disease. They’ll review your medical history and ask you about family history of calcium deficiency and osteoporosis.
If your doctor suspects calcium deficiency, they’ll take a blood sample to check your blood calcium level. Your doctor will measure your total calcium level, your albumin level, and your ionized or “free” calcium level. Albumin is a protein that binds to calcium and transports it through the blood. Sustained low calcium levels in your blood may confirm a diagnosis of calcium deficiency disease.
Normal calcium levels for adults can range from 8.8 to 10.4 milligrams per deciliter (mg/dL), according to the Merck Manual. You may be at risk for calcium deficiency disease if your calcium level is below 8.8 mg/dL. Children and teens typically have higher blood calcium levels than adults.
How’s hypocalcemia treated?
Calcium deficiency is usually easy to treat. It typically involves adding more calcium to your diet.
Do not self-treat by taking a lot of calcium supplements. Taking more than the recommended dose without your doctor’s approval can lead to serious issues like kidney stones.
Commonly recommended calcium supplements include:
- calcium carbonate, which is the least expensive and has the most elemental calcium
- calcium citrate, which is the most easily absorbed
- calcium phosphate, which is also easily absorbed and doesn’t cause constipation
Calcium supplements are available in liquid, tablet, and chewable forms.
It’s important to note that some medications could interact negatively with calcium supplements. These medications include:
- blood pressure beta-blockers like atenolol, which may decrease calcium absorption if taken within two hours of taking calcium supplements
- antacids containing aluminum, which may increase blood levels of aluminum
- cholesterol-lowering bile acid sequestrants such as colestipol, which may decrease calcium absorption and increase the loss of calcium in the urine
- estrogen medications, which can contribute to an increase in calcium blood levels
- digoxin, as high calcium levels can increase digoxin toxicity
- diuretics, which can either increase calcium levels (hydrochlorothiazide) or decrease calcium levels in the blood (furosemide)
- certain antibiotics such as fluoroquinolones and tetracyclines, whose absorption can be decreased by calcium supplements
Sometimes diet changes and supplements aren’t enough to treat a calcium deficiency. In this case, your doctor may want to regulate your calcium levels by giving you regular calcium injections.
You can expect to see results within the first few weeks of treatment. Severe cases of calcium deficiency disease will be monitored at one- to three-month intervals.
What are the possible complications of hypocalcemia?
Complications from calcium deficiency disease include eye damage, an abnormal heartbeat, and osteoporosis.
Complications from osteoporosis include:
- disability
- spinal fractures or other bone fractures
- difficulty walking
If left untreated, calcium deficiency disease could eventually be fatal.
How can hypocalcemia be prevented?
You can prevent calcium deficiency disease by including calcium in your diet every day.
Be aware that foods high in calcium, such as dairy products, can also be high in saturated fat and trans fat. Choose low-fat or fat-free options to reduce your risk of developing high cholesterol and heart disease.
You can get 1/4 to 1/3 of your RDA of calcium in a single serving of some milks and yogurts. According to the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA)Trusted Source, other calcium-rich foods include:
While meeting your calcium requirement is very important, you also want to make sure you’re not getting too much. According to the Mayo Clinic, upper limits of calcium intake in milligrams (mg) for adults are:
- 2,000 mg per day for men and women 51 years of age and up
- 2,500 mg per day for men and women 19 to 50 years of age
You might want to supplement your diet by taking a multivitamin. Or your doctor may recommend supplements if you’re at high risk for developing a calcium deficiency.
Multivitamins may not contain all of the calcium you need, so be sure to eat a well-rounded diet. If you’re pregnant, take a prenatal vitamin.
Vitamin D
Vitamin D is important because it increases the rate calcium is absorbed into your blood. Ask your doctor how much vitamin D you need.
To increase your calcium intake, you can add food rich in vitamin D to your diet. These include:
As with calcium-rich dairy products, some vitamin D-rich dairy products can also be high in saturated fat.
Sunlight triggers your body to make vitamin D, so getting regular exposure to the sun can also help boost your vitamin D levels.
Melinda
#Weekend Music Share-Zac Brown Band – Chicken Fried (Official Music Video)
My husband turned me onto this song and I laughed so hard then after listening to the words, it hit me he’s talking about what kind of life is important to him. Enjoy!
It’s the weekend!!!!!!
I’m glad you joined me for another edition of Weekend Music Share this week.
Have a great weekend!
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
Friday Quote
Thank you for joining me for this week’s Friday Quote.
Melinda
Book Review for Sometimes by Joann Howeth
I want to thank Trigger Publishing Editor Andrea Marchiano for sharing Sometimes by Joann Howeth. I have enjoyed and learned so much from children’s books. Parents today have a choice of what tools they use to raise their children. There are no children’s books like the ones from Trigger, you must check out their complete selection of children’s and teen’s books.
These are great books for Grandparents to have around so they can reinforce the way you’re trying to help your child.
Blurb
Sometimes, life can feel overwhelming. Sometimes, we cling to things that we should let go of. And sometimes, those who are closest to us are the ones who hurt us the most. Despite what others may tell us, during these times, the best thing we can do is talk.
In this honest and poignant story, Joann Howeth reminds us of what can happen behind closed doors and, in doing so, encourages kids to tell their own stories to ensure they get the support they need. A must-have for every library, classroom, and therapist’s office, this book will reassure struggling children that they are not alone and help them find a safe and healthy outlet for their troubles.
My Thoughts
This is the most serious children’s book I’ve read and think all children need to read this book because it shows them that sometimes you have to tell your secrets to someone you can trust. This book will help children struggling with divorce, lack of money, or other struggles that go on behind closed doors. One very important piece of information is missing, it’s her name. This goes along with her secret.
She has many secrets that she keeps to herself and the pressure it puts on her is heavy. Her Dad is gone and her mother is in a bad place, it could be from mental health issues or she just can’t make ends meet. Often times when she goes to the refrigerator there is no milk, or when she wants to wash her hair there is no shampoo and the house is stacked full and running over including the moldy dishes.
She is not allowed to participate in school activities or go to barbecues and is isolated from friends because she doesn’t want anyone to know her secrets.
She feels so alone and embarrassed and her mother has said no one can come into their house. She has no friends except the neighbor who is kind to her. Her room is filled with items her mother has collected and it crowds out her sleeping space, sometimes she sleeps in a chair or will sit on the stoop.
Her neighbor has a good idea of what is going on and she offers her a string cheese, an apple, and a hug on the way home from school. One day she realized her neighbor knew what was going on and asked her not to tell. Her trusted friend, Mrs. McGeorger said sometimes you have to share with someone.
This is happening today much more than we know it and we can’t judge or blame the children. I had many secrets growing up, I was abused and my step-father was an alcoholic. I didn’t want any friends to come to my house for fear of getting a glimpse of what was truly happening. I didn’t trust anyone, that was a heavy burden for a child to carry around every day.
This book is for parents, grandparents, therapists, and schools, all children need exposure to what can happen behind closed doors, it may help a child come forward or at least make them less judgemental. I love this book, it was hard to swallow but I could relate so clearly and know there are plenty of children that have secrets.
Trigger Publishing
TriggerHub.org is the first mental health organization of its kind. We are bringing mental health recovery and balance to millions of people worldwide through the power of our books.
We have built a first-class resource of curated books produced and published in-house to create a unique collection of mental health recovery titles unrivaled in quality and selection. We work with experts, psychologists, doctors, and coaches to produce our books, but we also work with real people looking to share their stories to reach out to others and provide hope, understanding, and compassion. These brave authors also aim to raise awareness of mental health’s “human” face and its impact on everyday lives.
Melinda
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Daily Writing Prompt
I made a promise to my Grandparents at a young age that I would take care of them so they could die at home. They were both adamant about it and how could I not deliver. I retired in 2005 to help my Gramps while Granny was dying, my face on hers and she died, it’s a feeling that’s complex and a bit hard to explain. My Gramps had Chronic Kidney Dieases and in 2010 his health fell rapidly. I moved in for five months to take care of him and to keep an eye on him, keeping him out of trouble. The blessing with Chronic Kidney Dieases is it a peaceful death, no pain and they just slip into a come for a couple of days before they die.
I knew the day he would start slippping into a coma and called the immediate family. I made is favorite meal of potato soup. This was the first time he got in the hospital bed, he was determined to live and said staying in a hospital bed was giving up. Hospice had arrived at the house and set up their equipment, it a trained skill to no how much longer a person has to live.
Those five months were exhausting, frustrating, missing my husband yet we grew even closer, learned so much about him and his daily habits. I made the istake of buy regular wrong flavor of Cheerios, wow, I heard about that for days even after going to the store that day to buy the correct flavor. It’s the same flavor I eat today.
Gramps had only told a couple of family members he was dying, one day I set next to him with the phone book and said it was time to let his family and friends know. I had never seen my Gramps emotional or cry before and it broke my heart. I dialed each persons number for him and handed him the phone.
I am forever blessed to have been am to grant their wishes and being a caregiver changed my life.
Melinda
Book Review For Degloved: Every Scar Has A Story
I want to say a special thank you to Laura Sebright, Marketing & Ecommerce Executive at Trigger Publishing for sending this very interesting book for review.
About the Author
On October 18th 2014, Adelaide was in a bike crash that would change her life. She went through the driver’s side window of a car that pulled in front of her, suffering injuries that almost killed her – and emotional trauma that would continue for years to come. In addition to facing the physical injuries and PTSD, Adelaide worried about how the crash would affect her ability to cope with her bipolar II. After an arduous recovery, she returned to riding, eventually qualifying to become a professional triathlete. She is an advocate for cyclists’ safety and strives to help others who have suffered life-threatening crashes. Adelaide lives with her husband Kennett and their dog Maybellene.
Blurb
When the red Fiat pulled out in front of Adelaide, she squeezed her bike’s brakes so hard that she left 50 feet of skid marks along the highway. The last thing she remembers is being lifted into the ambulance and someone saying, “Her face is peeled off.”
She spent five days in a medically-induced coma, during which surgeons picked glass from her face, reconstructed bones and inserted a stomach tube. She spent another six days unable to talk, at times gasping for air, enduring leech treatments to keep her necrotizing lip alive, and fearing a crippling bipolar episode. Without knowing what neurological damage or permanent disfigurement she’d be left with, her boyfriend Kennett proposed to Adelaide daily in the hospital, until she became conscious. But her recovery would extend far beyond the hospital and the visible physical injuries.
DEGLOVED is about perseverance as well as failure, written to give hope to those living with mental illness, and anyone who has had a traumatic event thrust upon them, which threatened to destroy their lives.
My Thoughts
Where do you go after an accident almost cost took your life? For Adelaide, it’s moving forward slowly with an eye on recovery and sharing her story to help others. Not only was she in a coma, but also had reconstructive surgery, leech treatments, and fears that her Bipolar Disorder will pop its ugly head.
When you suffer from a traumatic injury it can cause PTSD and slow the recovery process. It can be more complicated if you have a mental illness, like Bipolar Disorder. For me, stress is a huge trigger for my Bipolar Disorder and it’s something I have to keep an eye on. It can throw me into depression very quickly.
Degloved is a book of tragedy and triumph with great lessons to learn about life after unsurmountable odds. Adelaide is a strong person and her perseverance against the odds gave her life back. She’s also a walking example of what our body can do when it comes back from hell.
Adelaide pushes herself thru unimaginable odds to go on to not only compete again but is now a professional Triathlete.
This book is for anyone who has been involved in a traumatic event or knows someone that has. The book is great for caregivers.
I recommend the book hands down. It’s a great read and a very inspiring story.
Trigger Publishing
TriggerHub.org is the first mental health organization of its kind. We are bringing mental health recovery and balance to millions of people worldwide through the power of our books. We have built a first-class resource of curated books produced and published in-house to create a unique collection of mental health recovery titles unrivaled in quality and selection. We work with experts, psychologists, doctors, and coaches to produce our books, but we also work with real people looking to share their stories to reach out to others and provide hope, understanding, and compassion. These brave authors also aim to raise awareness of mental health’s “human” face and its impact on everyday lives. Melinda
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Wordless Wednesday-Yellow
I’m glad you joined me on Wordless Wednesday and I hope to see you soon.
Melinda
Ask the Doctor: Why Do I Get Depressed Every Fall?
Many people react to changes in light with shifts in energy level and mood, and for some, the fall is a difficult time.
One of the characteristics of depression in bipolar disorder is the variable patterns of the course. “Patterns” and “course” generally refer to recurrent themes: something predictable over time. Experiencing depression at specific times of the year is referred to as having a “seasonal pattern,” while daily fluctuations are termed “diurnal variation.”
Why Do I feel Depressed in the Fall?
The change in seasons affects everyone. The intensity and duration of light are what determine patterns for all living entities: new green leaves appear in the spring, and bears hibernate in the winter. The privilege of being alive is dependent on sunlight.
Many people react to changes in light with shifts in energy level and mood, and for some, the fall is a difficult time. Days become shorter; we see the migrations of birds and reflect that the leaves fall, and winter is on its way. Joni Mitchell captures a doleful fall mood in the lyrics for her song “Urge for Going”: “And all that stays is dying and all that lives is getting out.”
For those experiencing depression at any time of the year, it is wise to keep a diary, even if you only write down a single word on your calendar that captures your mood on a given day. Over time, you can look back and, in discussion with healthcare providers, explore whether there is a seasonal pattern. This is important, as everyone is different. The seasonal behaviors of some mammals are highly predictable, but less so for humanity.
If a seasonal pattern is identified, you can anticipate and prepare more easily. For those who experience depression in the fall, it is wise to plan how you will mitigate the impact. Schedule an appointment with your care provider well in advance of the anticipated challenging time.
Recall what the symptoms were in previous depressions and put contingency plans in place. For example, if sleep is typically a problem, discuss this with your doctor or therapist. Cover all options, including light therapy, medications, and talk therapies. If time away — somewhere warm and sunny — is available to you, consider it.
Can You Explain ‘Diurnal Variation,’ as Opposed to ‘Seasonal Patterns’?
Many people experience daily patterns in which they wake up in a lousy mood with limited energy and the ability to engage with the world. As the morning passes, mood may gradually begin to pick up, and often things feel better by lunchtime or so. This is what clinicians refer to as diurnal variation.
While it is frequently incapacitating, it can be useful in monitoring mood changes. Individuals who are beginning to enter a depressed phase often note that mornings are getting increasingly worse; during the improvement phase, they may notice that the time to feeling better shortens.
The basis for diurnal variation is not known; it is likely related to your internal body clock, the driver of the sleep/wake cycle. While it is often a measure of depressed mood, many of my patients tell me they are just not “a morning person,” and they choose to start their day mid- or late morning. If your lifestyle aligns with this pattern, that’s totally fine.
However, obligations often require a fixed schedule, and therefore, adaptations are necessary. Again, work with your support team to develop a plan, which may involve a combination of medical and/or environmental strategies. Allocate weekend time to “sleep in” and catch up. Coordinate with your family around schedules. Keep a mood diary and share it with your care providers.
Unstable moods are a part of bipolar disorder and come in many variations. Learning your own mood patterns and developing a strategy with your healthcare team and family is an essential part of successful management.
Melinda
Reference:
Getting To The Root Of Anxiety
Stress and anxiety are common experiences that can have a significant impact on your daily life. While some stress is normal and even necessary, too much stress can lead to problems. Understanding the causes of stress and anxiety can help you find ways to manage these feelings and improve your overall well-being.
There are many possible causes of stress and anxiety. Some people may be more prone to these feelings due to their genes or brain chemistry. Others may experience stress and anxiety in response to specific life events or circumstances. And still, others may have a medical condition that contributes to these emotions.
Some Of The Most Common Causes Of Stress And Anxiety Include:
- Major life changes, such as starting a new job or getting married
- Financial problems
- Relationship difficulties
- parenting concerns
- Health issues
- Workplace stressors
- Terrorism, natural disasters, and other global events
In many cases, stress and anxiety can be caused by a combination of factors. For example, someone who is dealing with a serious illness may also be experiencing financial stressors. Or someone who is going through a divorce may also be facing work-related challenges.
While some amount of stress and anxiety is normal and even beneficial, as it can help you to stay alert and motivated, too much can have negative consequences. Prolonged periods of stress can lead to physical health problems such as heart disease, high blood pressure, digestive issues, and sleep problems.
When it feels like the world is against you and everything is going wrong, it can be difficult to cope. Stress and anxiety can leave you feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and hopeless. But there are ways to manage stress and anxiety and regain control of your life.
Here Are Some Tips To Help You Keep Stress And Anxiety At Bay:
1. Understand what causes your stress and anxiety
Are you someone who internalizes stress and worries a lot? Do you have trouble letting go of things? Are you constantly comparing yourself to others? Identifying the root cause of your stress and anxiety is the first step in learning how to manage it. Once you know what’s triggering your feelings of stress and anxiety, you can start to address them.
2. Challenge your negative thoughts
Negative thinking is one of the main contributors to stress and anxiety. If you’re constantly putting yourself down, ruminating on past failures, or worrying about the future, it’s no wonder you’re feeling stressed out! Start by challenging your negative thoughts. When you catch yourself thinking something negative, ask yourself if it’s really true. Chances are, it’s not.
3. Practice relaxation techniques
There are a number of different relaxation techniques you can try to help ease stress and anxiety. Deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and visualization are all effective ways to relax your mind and body. Experiment with different techniques to see what works best for you.
4. Get moving
Exercise is a great way to relieve stress and boost your mood. Even just a few minutes of physical activity can make a big difference. Taking a brisk walk, going for a swim, or taking a yoga class are all great options.
5. Connect with others
Isolation can make stress and anxiety worse. Make an effort to connect with friends, family, or a support group. Talking about your stress and anxiety can help you feel better and may give you some helpful perspectives.
6. Make time for yourself
It’s important to make time for activities that make you happy and help you relax. Whether it’s reading, listening to music, spending time in nature, or taking a yoga class, find an activity that brings you joy and stick with it. Making time for yourself will help reduce stress and improve your overall well-being.
7. Be patient
Learning how to manage stress and anxiety takes time. Be patient with yourself, and don’t expect overnight results. Remember that you’re not alone in this journey and that you can get through this. With a little effort, you can start to feel better and live a more peaceful life.
8. Avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms
It’s also important to avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as alcohol or drug misuse. These can actually make your stress and anxiety worse in the long run. In addition, they can also lead to other health problems. On the other hand, it can be extremely positive to find good coping mechanisms for the things that are affecting your mental health. For example, talking to a professional about penis augmentation procedures or arranging CBT sessions.
9. Make lifestyle changes
Lifestyle changes can also help reduce stress and anxiety. This might involve simplifying your schedule, getting more sleep, eating a healthy diet, or buying Delta 8 Gummies to take the extra edge off. Again, the key is to find what works for you and stick with it. Implementing these changes can be difficult, but the results are worth it.
10. Seek professional help
If you’re struggling with stress or anxiety, it’s important to seek help from a qualified mental health professional. He or she can help you identify the causes of your emotions and develop an effective treatment plan. Treatment may include medication, therapy, lifestyle changes, or a combination of these approaches.
With proper treatment, most people are able to manage their stress and anxiety and live relatively normal lives. However, if left untreated, these conditions can have serious consequences. For example, people with untreated anxiety disorders are at an increased risk of developing depression, substance abuse problems, and even suicidal thoughts or behaviors.
If you’re struggling with stress or anxiety, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. There are many resources available to you, including mental health professionals, support groups, and hotlines. With the right help, you can overcome these challenges and start living the life you want to live.
In Conclusion
There are a variety of things that can cause stress and anxiety. It’s important to identify your triggers and find healthy coping mechanisms. If you’re struggling to manage your stress and anxiety on your own, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Finally, be sure to take care of yourself both physically and mentally. When you do, you’ll be better equipped to deal with whatever comes your way.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
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Small Lifestyle Changes To Make When Living With Chronic Pain
Living in constant pain can make you feel like you are alone and there is no one who understands what you are going through. Chronic pain conditions vary and each person living with chronic pain will have their own pain thresholds and triggers. At times, it may seem like there is nothing you can do, especially when traditional pain medication doesn’t have any effect. It is at times like this when people try other methods of medicating.
For some, different types of pains and symptoms can be managed or even eradicated with a few changes to your diet. It may seem futile however if nothing else is working you have nothing to lose by trying. Adapt what you do during your day-to-day life to see if different things affect your pain level. For example, many chronic pain patients credit the sun and warmth for lowering their pain levels. For this reason, it could be worth looking into how you can increase your vitamin D intake and get more sun into your life.
Many people find adding exercise into their lives can help with certain types of pain. Working up slowly to adding beneficial exercise to your daily routine as and when you can help you to look after your body despite your pain levels. Yoga, pilates, and simple stretching exercise will help you to remain fit and supple and in some cases decrease your pain levels.
There is no scientific evidence that links drastic diet changes with the eradication of pain from chronic pain conditions. However, it is thought that certain types of foods can inflame the body in different ways making pain worse. From cutting out dairy to reduce additional IBS symptoms or abdominal pain to avoiding nightshade foods to reduce pain and inflammation for Fibromyalgia, arthritis, and more.
There have also been suggestions that eating clean and switching to a more plant-based diet can help control pain levels. While fatty and processed foods aren’t healthy for anyone when overconsumed, there is nothing to lose by changing up your diet and eating a more natural diet, and reducing your meat, specifically red meat intake.
Many chronic pain sufferers will all tell you that sleeping is a problem. It’s a vicious circle to be told you need to get more sleep yet sleep is elusive due to your pain. But by creating as relaxing a sleep environment as can help you to relax even if you can’t sleep. Your body repairs itself during sleep and getting good quality sleep remains important despite your health condition.
Find your optimal sleeping temperature and noise level, try using a white noise app if you needed, and also use comfortable bedding. Set your limits for screen time and electronics and try to create a relaxing bedtime routine that indicates you are ready for sleep. This won’t always be possible but it is worth persevering to help you improve your sleep quality.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
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Friday Quote
Thank you for joining me for this week’s Friday Quote.
Melinda
#Weekend Music Share-Runnin’ Down A Dream – Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
Tom Petty was tremendous talent who left us too soon.
It’s the weekend!!!!!!
I’m glad you joined me for another edition of Weekend Music Share this week.
Have a great weekend!
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
Book Review Mind Over Mountain-A Mental and Physical Climb to the Top by Robby Kojetin
I want to send a special thanks to Laura Sebright at Trigger Publishing for sending me Mind Over Mountain-A Mental and Physical Climb to the Top by Robby Kojetin to review.
About the Author
Robby Kojetin lives in Johannesburg, South Africa, and is a high-altitude adventure. Since his accident in 2006 which resulted in him breaking both of his ankles, he has gone on to become one of only a handful of people to have stood on top of the world’s highest mountain, Mount Everest. He has also climbed Kilimanjaro nine times, completed the Ironman triathlon, and scaled five of the Seven Summits. Known as an inspirational and engaging speaker on stage, he presents on the topics of failure, self-doubt and persisting against all odds, in the hopes of inspiring people of all ages and backgrounds facing the daunting mountains and obstacles in their own lives.
Robby is a proud husband and father who also coaches people to reach their personal summit goals. He is a regular contributor to a number of radio programmes, magazine articles and TV features, including DiscoveryChannel’s Everest: Beyond the Limit.
Blurb
A simple mistake at an indoor climbing gym sentenced 28-year-old Robby to a year in a wheelchair, shattering his aspirations of becoming a mountaineer. In the months that followed, Robby faced depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and a complete loss of his sense of identity.
But from somewhere deep inside him, he summoned up the strength to keep going even when all seemed lost; he embarked on a monumental journey, a feat of mental and physical strength. His weakness became his power. This story is more than a biography or an account of a mountaineering expedition – it showcases the human spirit and shows us all how it is possible to rewrite the definition of what is possible. From those dark days, Robby has become the embodiment of perseverance and possibility, overcoming the odds to join the handful of people who have summited Mount Everest.
One reviewer said “I laughed, I cried, got angry at why something so terrible could happen to someone so good, but most of all I was in awe of what Robby overcame!! A must-read for anyone!!”
My Thoughts
At 22 years old Robby’s identity and self-confidence were tied to rock climbing and all the adventure it brought. He was paving away in a career that he enjoyed that gave him the time off needed to continue his climbing adventures.
Until one fateful day, while practicing on a climbing wall, he jumped off as he had done many times before, the floor gave way causing Robby to shatter both ankles, fracturing several bones and rupturing the tendons from the shin down.
This is a devastating blow to anyone but for an avid rock climber, this could be the end of the adventure. With the love and support of family and friends, Robby concentrates on recovery and walking again. The recovery period is slow, very painful, and takes a toll on his mental health. Some days are dark with no light at the end of the tunnel but he pushes forward.
What Robby does from here is miraculous, not only does Robby walk again but goes on to climb the highest mountain in the world Mount Everest. This book is a fast and very enthralling read. It’s a story of grit and what the mind can allow us to accomplish. I would recommend this book to anyone.
Trigger Publishing
TriggerHub.org is the first mental health organization of its kind. We are bringing mental health recovery and balance to millions of people worldwide through the power of our books.We have built a first-class resource of curated books produced and published in-house to create a unique collection of mental health recovery titles unrivaled in quality and selection. We work with experts, psychologists, doctors, and coaches to produce our books, but we also work with real people looking to share their stories to reach out to others and provide hope, understanding, and compassion. These brave authors also aim to raise awareness of mental health’s “human” face and its impact on everyday lives.
Melinda
Helping Your Adolescent Build Self-Confidence
PSYCHOLOGY TODAY
Self-confidence is a can-do attitude that empowers determination and effort.
For the adolescent, confidencecan often be hard to come by.
During childhood, the girl or boy may have felt relatively self-assured in the smaller, simpler, and sheltered world of home and family. But with the onset of adolescence (around ages 9 to 13), developmental insecurity begins. Now the teenager separates from childhood and parents to start the daunting coming-of-age passage through the larger world toward young adult independence – to young womanhood or young manhood.
Growing up keeps introducing more changes and challenges in the teenager’s path, creating fresh cause for self-doubt. “I can’t keep up!” “I won’t fit in!” “I’ll never learn!” “How will I get it done?” Parents may not always appreciate how, when youthful confidence is lacking, adolescence requires acts of courage to proceed. “Some days just showing up at school can feel scary to do!”
Coping with lack of confidence
How to help a young person cope with lack of confidence? By way of example, consider the common case of social shyness in middle school that can keep a young person more alone than she or he would like to be.
The child who had playmates in elementary school can become more socially intimidated in the push and shove of middle school when physical self-consciousness from puberty and social competition for belonging and fitting in can make making friends harder to do. As young people vie for standing, there can also be more social cruelty – teasing, rumoring, bullyingexcluding, and ganging up – to assert and defend social place.
As I was once told on lonely eighth-grader authority: “With all the meanness going around, middle school can be a good time not to have a lot of friends.” At the same time, she had a fervent desire to have a more socially satisfying high school experience. But how to accomplish this change when lack of confidence from shyness was holding her back?
I suggested that like all feelings, shyness can be very a good informant about one’s unhappy state, but it can also be a very bad advisor about how to relieve it. For example: “I’m not confident mixing with people, so I’ll feel better if I just keep to myself.” Following this emotional advice only makes shyness worse.
While it’s true that feelings can motivate actions; it’s also true that actions can alter feelings. So the prescription for the shy middle school student lacking social confidence was to put on an act. “Pretend to be more outgoing, and you’ll build confidence as you increasingly practice behaving that way.”
Empowering confidence
Worth parents listening for and affirming are adolescent statements of confidence. These express a can-do attitude and they come in many forms, a few of which are stated below.
“I can earn money.”
“I can make friends.”
“I can lift my spirits.”
“I can perform well.”
“I can finish what I start.”
“I can compete to do my best.”
“I can sustain important effort.”
“I can solve problems that arise.”
“I can speak up when I have need.”
“I can make myself do what needs doing.”
“I can keep agreements to myself and others.”
“I can work with people to help get things done.”
One job of parents is to encourage practices that enable their adolescents to make these and other kinds of self-affirming statements.
Confidence matters. It can inspire determination, empower effort, and support a sense of effectiveness: “I’m going to give it a shot.” Lack of confidence can reduce motivation, discourage effort, and lower self-esteem: “There’s no point in trying.”
Within the family, parents need to keep a tease-free, sarcasm-free, embarrassment-free home. Why? Because such belittling, like criticism, can injure confidence at a vulnerable age when believing in oneself becomes harder to do. So, no put-downs allowed.
Caution
All this said, supporting confidence in adolescents is not enough. Teaching adolescents how to direct it must also be done. After all, while human confidence can create much good, it can also inflict a great deal of harm. As history unhappily instructs, people who are very confident that they are right can commit a lot of wrong. So, by instruction and example, imparting ethical and responsible conduct matters even more.
Melinda
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Did you know curiosity comes in different forms? P.S.: One of them can help you deal with anxiety
IDEAS.TED.COM
May 12, 2021 / Judson Brewer MD, Ph
Kati Szilágyi
Back in 2006, psychologists Jordan Litman and Paul Silvia identified two main “flavors” of curiosity, which they dubbed D-curiosity and I-curiosity.
The D in D-curiosity stands for deprivation, the idea that if we have a gap in information, we go into a restless, unpleasant, need-to-know state, while the I in I-curiosity stands for interest, the pleasurable aspects of the hunger for knowledge. In other words, curiosity — our drive for information — can induce a state that is either aversive or pleasant.
Deprivation curiosity is driven by a lack of information, often a specific piece of information. For example, when you see a picture of a famous actress and you can’t remember her name, you might start racking your brain to remember who it is. Trying to remember might get you into a contracted state, as though you are trying to squeeze that answer out of your brain. Then when you go to google for help and see her name, you feel a sense of relief because you’re no longer deprived of the information.
This extends to texting and social media. If you are out to dinner and you feel or hear a text come into your phone, you might notice that suddenly it’s hard to pay attention — not knowing what the text says can make you restless, causing your body temperature to rise, and that fire of uncertainty is only put out when you check your phone.
Interest curiosity is piqued when we’re interested in learning more about something. Usually this isn’t a specific piece of information (like an actress’s name) but a broader category. For example, did you know that there are animals who keep growing in size until they die? They are called “indeterminate growers” and include sharks, lobsters and kangaroos. In fact, based on its size, one 20-pound lobster was believed to be 140 years old. That’s one big, old lobster! Isn’t that fascinating?
Interest curiosity is when you dive into an internet search and realize hours later you’ve learned a whole bunch of stuff and your thirst for knowledge has been quenched. It feels good to learn something new. This is different from filling a deficit, simply because you weren’t experiencing a deficit in the first place. For instance, you didn’t know about big, old lobsters but when you learned about them, you were intrigued and delighted to know more.
Unlike the D-curiosity — which is about reaching a destination — the I-curiosity is more about the journey. Each of these curiosity “flavors” has different “tastes”, and they feel different in our bodies. Deprivation feels closed, while interest feels open.
Most of us approach ourselves and the world with D-curiosity, like a problem to be solved. But we’re all in the perfect place to tap into our I-curiosity, which we can leverage to help ourselves break old habits and build new ones.
In practice, what this means is getting more and more curious about what anxiety feels like in your body and how it triggers your worry and procrastination habit loops, instead of assuming you know everything about anxious or that your feelings will never change or you have to find a magic pill or technique to cure you of it.
Over the years, I’ve found that curiosity is a simple tool that helps people — regardless of language, culture and background — drop directly into their embodied experience and tap into their natural capacities for wonder and interest. It puts people right in that sweet spot of openness and engagement.
Let me walk you through a curiosity exercise that I teach everyone on Day 1 in the Unwinding Anxiety app. This exercise can work as a kind of panic button for when anxiety hits, and it takes about 2 minutes.
Step 1:
Find a quiet comfortable place. You can be sitting, lying down or standing up; you just need to be able to concentrate without being distracted.
Step 2:
Recall your most recent run-in or incident with a habit loop, which is any habit you find yourself returning to whenever you’re worried or anxious.
See if you can remember the scene and relive that experience, focusing on what you felt right at the time when you were about to act out your habitual behavior. What did that urge to go ahead and “do it” feel like?
Step 3:
Check in with your body. What sensation can you feel most strongly right now?
Here’s a list of single words or phrases to choose from. Pick only one — the one you feel most strongly:
tightness
pressure
contraction
restlessness
shallow breath
burning
tension
clenching
heat
pit in stomach
buzzing/vibration
Step 4:
In terms of this feeling, is it more on the right side or the left? In the front, middle, or back of your body? Where do you feel it most strongly?
And was there anything you noticed about being curious about what part of your body you felt the sensation in? Did being a little curious help with getting closer to this sensation?
Step 5:
If the sensation is still there in your body, see if you can get curious and notice what else is there. Are there other sensations you’re feeling? What happens when you get curious about them? Do they change? What happens when you get really curious about what they feel like?
Step 6:
Follow them over the next 30 seconds — not trying to do anything to or about them — but simply observing them. Do they change at all when you observe them with an attitude of curiosity?
Whenever I do this exercise, I like to use the mantra “Hmmmm” — as in, the hmm you naturally emit when you’re curious about something (and not to be confused with the traditional mantra “Om”). I find saying “hmm” to myself gets me out of my head and into a direct experience of being curious. It also allows me to bring a playful, even joyful attitude to what I’m doing; it is hard to take yourself too seriously when you are hmm-ing.
This short exercise is just intended to give you a taste of curiosity and to support your natural capacity to be aware about what is happening in your body and your mind at any moment instead of getting caught up in a habit loop. If you notice that by being curious you gained even a microsecond more of being with your thoughts, emotions and body sensations than you have in the past, then you’ve taken a huge step forward.
Here’s what a patient in the Unwinding Anxiety program told me about curiosity:
When I first started the program, I didn’t quite buy into the benefits of curiosity. Today, I felt a wave of panic, and instead of immediate dread or fear, my automatic response was “Hmm, that’s interesting.” That took the wind right out of its sails! I wasn’t just saying it was interesting; I actually felt it.
Sometimes I get the question “What happens if I’m not curious?” My response is to use the mantra of hmmm to drop right into your experience. Ask yourself: “Hmm, what does it feel like not to be curious?”
This helps people move from their thinking, fix-it mind state into a curious awareness of their direct sensations and emotions in their bodies and move out of their thinking heads and into their feeling bodies.
Excerpted with permission from the new book Unwinding Anxiety: New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind by Judson Brewer MD PhD. Published by Avery, an imprint of Penguin Random House, LLC. © 2021 by Judson Brewer.
Watch his TEDMED Talk here:
Watch this TED-Ed Lesson about panic attacks here:
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Judson Brewer MD, PhD Judson Brewer is the Director of Research and Innovation at the Mindfulness Center and associate professor in psychiatry at the School of Medicine at Brown University, as well as a research affiliate at MIT. As an addiction psychiatrist and expert in mindfulness training for treating addictions, he has developed and tested novel programs for habit change, including both in-person and app-based treatments for smoking, emotional eating and anxiety. Based on the success of these programs in the lab, he cofounded MindSciences, Inc. to create app-based versions of these programs for a wider audience. He is also the author of the book The Craving Mind.
Melinda
Repost
#Weekend Music Share-Huey Lewis & The News – The Power Of Love
Flashback!
It’s the weekend!!!!!!
I’m glad you joined me for another edition of Weekend Music Share this week.
Have a great weekend!
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
Friday Quote
Thank you for joining me for this week’s Friday Quote.
Melinda
Book Review 365 Quotes to Accelerate Your Career and Find Balance in Life by James Espey
I want to give a special thanks to Editor Andrea Marchiano of Cherish Editions for sending me an advanced copy of 365 Quotes to Accelerate Your Career and Find Balance for review.
Blurb
Dr James Espey OBE is ready to be your mentor. His second book 365 Quotes to Accelerate Your Career and Find Balance in Your Life contains the wisdom gleaned from his half-century career in business and marketing. It’s all presented in short, easy-to-digest quotes from James, as well as from other figures who have inspired him along the way.
James says, “I believe that in the modern world, people are looking for short, pertinent, succinct bits of advice. That is why I decided to write this book: to give you guidance and to encourage you to make the right decisions on your journey through life.”
What people are saying
“A unique take on the wisdom of quotes. Entertaining and makes you think!”
Neville Isdell, former global chairman and CEO of The Coca-Cola Company
“James has spent his career observing, thinking and summing things up succinctly. These quotes provide moments to reflect and be guided by someone who has seen around a few of the bends in the road ahead.”
Peter Bauer, CEO of Mimecast
“James’s ability to draw a quote or a one-liner to sum up a ‘situation’ – tricky, funny or even just routine – has always been a feature of his management and leadership. This unique, spontaneous communication style provides inspiration to all who deal with him.”
Michael Keiller, former CEO of Morrison Bowmore Distillers Ltd
”
Excerpt From
365 Quotes to Accelerate Your Career and Find Balance in Life
James Espey OBE
This material may be protected by copyright.
My Thoughts
In a work environment, it can be difficult to have a mentor, this book is what is missing to help you chart the course. 365 Quotes to Accelerate Your Career and Find Balance is a book I wished was available during my career. No matter where you’re at in life/career this book will help you ask yourself some tough questions that can propel your career and in turn life.
The chapters are divided based on where you are in your career, like helping you build your brand. I like Part 3 Personal Values the best because I believe that this is the foundation of who we are as a person which spills over to who we are at work.
In Chapter 11
“If you do not manage your time, time will manage you.
Ten ways to make the most of your working day:”
I love this quote and was so lucky to learn this early in my career from my mentor. The quote is followed by 10 solutions to accomplish this goal. Time management can be difficult to manage and the solutions are easy to understand and implement.
I highly recommend this book to anyone and would make a great graduation gift.
Cherish Editions
Cherish Editions is the self-publishing division of the TriggerHub group, the world’s leading platform for books that encourage mental health recovery and wellbeing.
We are experienced in creating and selling positive, responsible, important and inspirational books, which work to de-stigmatise the issues around mental health, as well as helping people who read them to maintain and improve their mental health and wellbeing. By choosing to publish through Cherish Editions, you will get the expertise of the dedicated TriggerHub Team at every step of the process.
Melinda
lookingforthelight.blog 