Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Ask the Doctor: Why Do I Get Depressed Every Fall?

Many people react to changes in light with shifts in energy level and mood, and for some, the fall is a difficult time.

One of the characteristics of depression in bipolar disorder is the variable patterns of the course. “Patterns” and “course” generally refer to recurrent themes: something predictable over time. Experiencing depression at specific times of the year is referred to as having a “seasonal pattern,” while daily fluctuations are termed “diurnal variation.”

Why Do I feel Depressed in the Fall?

The change in seasons affects everyone. The intensity and duration of light are what determine patterns for all living entities: new green leaves appear in the spring, and bears hibernate in the winter. The privilege of being alive is dependent on sunlight. 

Many people react to changes in light with shifts in energy level and mood, and for some, the fall is a difficult time. Days become shorter; we see the migrations of birds and reflect that the leaves fall, and winter is on its way. Joni Mitchell captures a doleful fall mood in the lyrics for her song “Urge for Going”: “And all that stays is dying and all that lives is getting out.”

For those experiencing depression at any time of the year, it is wise to keep a diary, even if you only write down a single word on your calendar that captures your mood on a given day. Over time, you can look back and, in discussion with healthcare providers, explore whether there is a seasonal pattern. This is important, as everyone is different. The seasonal behaviors of some mammals are highly predictable, but less so for humanity. 

If a seasonal pattern is identified, you can anticipate and prepare more easily. For those who experience depression in the fall, it is wise to plan how you will mitigate the impact. Schedule an appointment with your care provider well in advance of the anticipated challenging time. 

Recall what the symptoms were in previous depressions and put contingency plans in place. For example, if sleep is typically a problem, discuss this with your doctor or therapist. Cover all options, including light therapy, medications, and talk therapies. If time away — somewhere warm and sunny — is available to you, consider it.

Can You Explain ‘Diurnal Variation,’ as Opposed to ‘Seasonal Patterns’?

Many people experience daily patterns in which they wake up in a lousy mood with limited energy and the ability to engage with the world. As the morning passes, mood may gradually begin to pick up, and often things feel better by lunchtime or so. This is what clinicians refer to as diurnal variation. 

While it is frequently incapacitating, it can be useful in monitoring mood changes. Individuals who are beginning to enter a depressed phase often note that mornings are getting increasingly worse; during the improvement phase, they may notice that the time to feeling better shortens. 

The basis for diurnal variation is not known; it is likely related to your internal body clock, the driver of the sleep/wake cycle. While it is often a measure of depressed mood, many of my patients tell me they are just not “a morning person,” and they choose to start their day mid- or late morning. If your lifestyle aligns with this pattern, that’s totally fine. 

However, obligations often require a fixed schedule, and therefore, adaptations are necessary. Again, work with your support team to develop a plan, which may involve a combination of medical and/or environmental strategies. Allocate weekend time to “sleep in” and catch up. Coordinate with your family around schedules. Keep a mood diary and share it with your care providers. 

Unstable moods are a part of bipolar disorder and come in many variations. Learning your own mood patterns and developing a strategy with your healthcare team and family is an essential part of successful management. 

Melinda

Reference:


Melvin G. McInnis, MD, FRCPsych

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Getting To The Root Of Anxiety

Stress and anxiety are common experiences that can have a significant impact on your daily life. While some stress is normal and even necessary, too much stress can lead to problems. Understanding the causes of stress and anxiety can help you find ways to manage these feelings and improve your overall well-being.

There are many possible causes of stress and anxiety. Some people may be more prone to these feelings due to their genes or brain chemistry. Others may experience stress and anxiety in response to specific life events or circumstances. And still, others may have a medical condition that contributes to these emotions.

Photo by Atul Choudhary on Pexels.com

Some Of The Most Common Causes Of Stress And Anxiety Include:

  • Major life changes, such as starting a new job or getting married
  • Financial problems
  • Relationship difficulties
  • parenting concerns
  • Health issues
  • Workplace stressors
  • Terrorism, natural disasters, and other global events

In many cases, stress and anxiety can be caused by a combination of factors. For example, someone who is dealing with a serious illness may also be experiencing financial stressors. Or someone who is going through a divorce may also be facing work-related challenges.

While some amount of stress and anxiety is normal and even beneficial, as it can help you to stay alert and motivated, too much can have negative consequences. Prolonged periods of stress can lead to physical health problems such as heart disease, high blood pressure, digestive issues, and sleep problems.

When it feels like the world is against you and everything is going wrong, it can be difficult to cope. Stress and anxiety can leave you feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and hopeless. But there are ways to manage stress and anxiety and regain control of your life.

Here Are Some Tips To Help You Keep Stress And Anxiety At Bay:

1. Understand what causes your stress and anxiety

Are you someone who internalizes stress and worries a lot? Do you have trouble letting go of things? Are you constantly comparing yourself to others? Identifying the root cause of your stress and anxiety is the first step in learning how to manage it. Once you know what’s triggering your feelings of stress and anxiety, you can start to address them.

2. Challenge your negative thoughts

Negative thinking is one of the main contributors to stress and anxiety. If you’re constantly putting yourself down, ruminating on past failures, or worrying about the future, it’s no wonder you’re feeling stressed out! Start by challenging your negative thoughts. When you catch yourself thinking something negative, ask yourself if it’s really true. Chances are, it’s not.

3. Practice relaxation techniques

There are a number of different relaxation techniques you can try to help ease stress and anxiety. Deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and visualization are all effective ways to relax your mind and body. Experiment with different techniques to see what works best for you.

4. Get moving

Exercise is a great way to relieve stress and boost your mood. Even just a few minutes of physical activity can make a big difference. Taking a brisk walk, going for a swim, or taking a yoga class are all great options.

5. Connect with others

Isolation can make stress and anxiety worse. Make an effort to connect with friends, family, or a support group. Talking about your stress and anxiety can help you feel better and may give you some helpful perspectives.

6. Make time for yourself

It’s important to make time for activities that make you happy and help you relax. Whether it’s reading, listening to music, spending time in nature, or taking a yoga class, find an activity that brings you joy and stick with it. Making time for yourself will help reduce stress and improve your overall well-being.

7. Be patient

Learning how to manage stress and anxiety takes time. Be patient with yourself, and don’t expect overnight results. Remember that you’re not alone in this journey and that you can get through this. With a little effort, you can start to feel better and live a more peaceful life.

8. Avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms

It’s also important to avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as alcohol or drug misuse. These can actually make your stress and anxiety worse in the long run. In addition, they can also lead to other health problems. On the other hand, it can be extremely positive to find good coping mechanisms for the things that are affecting your mental health. For example, talking to a professional about penis augmentation procedures or arranging CBT sessions. 

9. Make lifestyle changes

Lifestyle changes can also help reduce stress and anxiety. This might involve simplifying your schedule, getting more sleep, eating a healthy diet, or buying Delta 8 Gummies to take the extra edge off. Again, the key is to find what works for you and stick with it. Implementing these changes can be difficult, but the results are worth it.

10. Seek professional help

If you’re struggling with stress or anxiety, it’s important to seek help from a qualified mental health professional. He or she can help you identify the causes of your emotions and develop an effective treatment plan. Treatment may include medication, therapy, lifestyle changes, or a combination of these approaches.

With proper treatment, most people are able to manage their stress and anxiety and live relatively normal lives. However, if left untreated, these conditions can have serious consequences. For example, people with untreated anxiety disorders are at an increased risk of developing depression, substance abuse problems, and even suicidal thoughts or behaviors.

If you’re struggling with stress or anxiety, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. There are many resources available to you, including mental health professionals, support groups, and hotlines. With the right help, you can overcome these challenges and start living the life you want to live.

In Conclusion

There are a variety of things that can cause stress and anxiety. It’s important to identify your triggers and find healthy coping mechanisms. If you’re struggling to manage your stress and anxiety on your own, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Finally, be sure to take care of yourself both physically and mentally. When you do, you’ll be better equipped to deal with whatever comes your way.

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

Repost

Chronic Pain · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Self-Care

Small Lifestyle Changes To Make When Living With Chronic Pain

Living in constant pain can make you feel like you are alone and there is no one who understands what you are going through. Chronic pain conditions vary and each person living with chronic pain will have their own pain thresholds and triggers. At times, it may seem like there is nothing you can do, especially when traditional pain medication doesn’t have any effect. It is at times like this when people try other methods of medicating.

For some, different types of pains and symptoms can be managed or even eradicated with a few changes to your diet. It may seem futile however if nothing else is working you have nothing to lose by trying. Adapt what you do during your day-to-day life to see if different things affect your pain level. For example, many chronic pain patients credit the sun and warmth for lowering their pain levels. For this reason, it could be worth looking into how you can increase your vitamin D intake and get more sun into your life.

Many people find adding exercise into their lives can help with certain types of pain. Working up slowly to adding beneficial exercise to your daily routine as and when you can help you to look after your body despite your pain levels. Yoga, pilates, and simple stretching exercise will help you to remain fit and supple and in some cases decrease your pain levels.

There is no scientific evidence that links drastic diet changes with the eradication of pain from chronic pain conditions. However, it is thought that certain types of foods can inflame the body in different ways making pain worse. From cutting out dairy to reduce additional IBS symptoms or abdominal pain to avoiding nightshade foods to reduce pain and inflammation for Fibromyalgia, arthritis, and more.

There have also been suggestions that eating clean and switching to a more plant-based diet can help control pain levels. While fatty and processed foods aren’t healthy for anyone when overconsumed, there is nothing to lose by changing up your diet and eating a more natural diet, and reducing your meat, specifically red meat intake.

Many chronic pain sufferers will all tell you that sleeping is a problem. It’s a vicious circle to be told you need to get more sleep yet sleep is elusive due to your pain. But by creating as relaxing a sleep environment as can help you to relax even if you can’t sleep. Your body repairs itself during sleep and getting good quality sleep remains important despite your health condition. 

Find your optimal sleeping temperature and noise level, try using a white noise app if you needed, and also use comfortable bedding. Set your limits for screen time and electronics and try to create a relaxing bedtime routine that indicates you are ready for sleep. This won’t always be possible but it is worth persevering to help you improve your sleep quality.

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda  

Repost

Celebrate Life · Fun · Mental Health · Music

#Weekend Music Share-Runnin’ Down A Dream – Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers

Tom Petty was tremendous talent who left us too soon.

It’s the weekend!!!!!!

 I’m glad you joined me for another edition of Weekend Music Share this week.

Have a great weekend!

Melinda

Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.

Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.

Book Review · Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Survivor

Book Review Mind Over Mountain-A Mental and Physical Climb to the Top by Robby Kojetin

I want to send a special thanks to Laura Sebright at Trigger Publishing for sending me Mind Over Mountain-A Mental and Physical Climb to the Top by Robby Kojetin to review. 


Inspirational


About the Author


Robby Kojetin lives in Johannesburg, South Africa, and is a high-altitude adventure. Since his accident in 2006 which resulted in him breaking both of his ankles, he has gone on to become one of only a handful of people to have stood on top of the world’s highest mountain, Mount Everest. He has also climbed Kilimanjaro nine times, completed the Ironman triathlon, and scaled five of the Seven Summits. Known as an inspirational and engaging speaker on stage, he presents on the topics of failure, self-doubt and persisting against all odds, in the hopes of inspiring people of all ages and backgrounds facing the daunting mountains and obstacles in their own lives.


Robby is a proud husband and father who also coaches people to reach their personal summit goals. He is a regular contributor to a number of radio programmes, magazine articles and TV features, including DiscoveryChannel’s Everest: Beyond the Limit.

Blurb

A simple mistake at an indoor climbing gym sentenced 28-year-old Robby to a year in a wheelchair, shattering his aspirations of becoming a mountaineer. In the months that followed, Robby faced depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and a complete loss of his sense of identity.

But from somewhere deep inside him, he summoned up the strength to keep going even when all seemed lost; he embarked on a monumental journey, a feat of mental and physical strength. His weakness became his power. This story is more than a biography or an account of a mountaineering expedition – it showcases the human spirit and shows us all how it is possible to rewrite the definition of what is possible. From those dark days, Robby has become the embodiment of perseverance and possibility, overcoming the odds to join the handful of people who have summited Mount Everest.

One reviewer said “I laughed, I cried, got angry at why something so terrible could happen to someone so good, but most of all I was in awe of what Robby overcame!! A must-read for anyone!!”

My Thoughts

At 22 years old Robby’s identity and self-confidence were tied to rock climbing and all the adventure it brought. He was paving away in a career that he enjoyed that gave him the time off needed to continue his climbing adventures. 


Until one fateful day, while practicing on a climbing wall, he jumped off as he had done many times before, the floor gave way causing Robby to shatter both ankles, fracturing several bones and rupturing the tendons from the shin down. 

This is a devastating blow to anyone but for an avid rock climber, this could be the end of the adventure. With the love and support of family and friends, Robby concentrates on recovery and walking again. The recovery period is slow, very painful, and takes a toll on his mental health. Some days are dark with no light at the end of the tunnel but he pushes forward. 

What Robby does from here is miraculous, not only does Robby walk again but goes on to climb the highest mountain in the world Mount Everest. This book is a fast and very enthralling read. It’s a story of grit and what the mind can allow us to accomplish. I would recommend this book to anyone. 

Trigger Publishing

TriggerHub.org is the first mental health organization of its kind. We are bringing mental health recovery and balance to millions of people worldwide through the power of our books.

We have built a first-class resource of curated books produced and published in-house to create a unique collection of mental health recovery titles unrivaled in quality and selection. We work with experts, psychologists, doctors, and coaches to produce our books, but we also work with real people looking to share their stories to reach out to others and provide hope, understanding, and compassion. These brave authors also aim to raise awareness of mental health’s “human” face and its impact on everyday lives. 

Melinda

Looking for the Light

@lookinglight

Children · Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Helping Your Adolescent Build Self-Confidence

PSYCHOLOGY TODAY

Self-confidence is a can-do attitude that empowers determination and effort. 

For the adolescent, confidencecan often be hard to come by. 

During childhood, the girl or boy may have felt relatively self-assured in the smaller, simpler, and sheltered world of home and family. But with the onset of adolescence (around ages 9 to 13), developmental insecurity begins. Now the teenager separates from childhood and parents to start the daunting coming-of-age passage through the larger world toward young adult independence – to young womanhood or young manhood. 

Growing up keeps introducing more changes and challenges in the teenager’s path, creating fresh cause for self-doubt. “I can’t keep up!” “I won’t fit in!” “I’ll never learn!” “How will I get it done?” Parents may not always appreciate how, when youthful confidence is lacking, adolescence requires acts of courage to proceed. “Some days just showing up at school can feel scary to do!”

Coping with lack of confidence

How to help a young person cope with lack of confidence? By way of example, consider the common case of social shyness in middle school that can keep a young person more alone than she or he would like to be. 

The child who had playmates in elementary school can become more socially intimidated in the push and shove of middle school when physical self-consciousness from puberty and social competition for belonging and fitting in can make making friends harder to do. As young people vie for standing, there can also be more social cruelty – teasing, rumoring, bullyingexcluding, and ganging up – to assert and defend social place. 

As I was once told on lonely eighth-grader authority: “With all the meanness going around, middle school can be a good time not to have a lot of friends.” At the same time, she had a fervent desire to have a more socially satisfying high school experience. But how to accomplish this change when lack of confidence from shyness was holding her back? 

I suggested that like all feelings, shyness can be very a good informant about one’s unhappy state, but it can also be a very bad advisor about how to relieve it. For example: “I’m not confident mixing with people, so I’ll feel better if I just keep to myself.” Following this emotional advice only makes shyness worse. 

While it’s true that feelings can motivate actions; it’s also true that actions can alter feelings. So the prescription for the shy middle school student lacking social confidence was to put on an act. “Pretend to be more outgoing, and you’ll build confidence as you increasingly practice behaving that way.” 

Empowering confidence

Worth parents listening for and affirming are adolescent statements of confidence. These express a can-do attitude and they come in many forms, a few of which are stated below. 

“I can earn money.”

“I can make friends.”

“I can lift my spirits.”

“I can perform well.”

“I can finish what I start.”

“I can compete to do my best.”

“I can sustain important effort.” 

 “I can solve problems that arise.”

“I can speak up when I have need.”

“I can make myself do what needs doing.”

“I can keep agreements to myself and others.” 

“I can work with people to help get things done.”

One job of parents is to encourage practices that enable their adolescents to make these and other kinds of self-affirming statements. 

Confidence matters. It can inspire determination, empower effort, and support a sense of effectiveness: “I’m going to give it a shot.” Lack of confidence can reduce motivation, discourage effort, and lower self-esteem: “There’s no point in trying.” 

Within the family, parents need to keep a tease-free, sarcasm-free, embarrassment-free home. Why? Because such belittling, like criticism, can injure confidence at a vulnerable age when believing in oneself becomes harder to do. So, no put-downs allowed.

Caution

All this said, supporting confidence in adolescents is not enough. Teaching adolescents how to direct it must also be done. After all, while human confidence can create much good, it can also inflict a great deal of harm. As history unhappily instructs, people who are very confident that they are right can commit a lot of wrong. So, by instruction and example, imparting ethical and responsible conduct matters even more. 

Melinda

Repost

Carl Pickhardt Ph.D. is a psychologist in private counseling and public lecturing practice in Austin, Texas. His latest book is WHO STOLE MY CHILD? Parenting through four stages of adolescence.

Online:Website: Carl Pickhardt Ph.D.

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Did you know curiosity comes in different forms? P.S.: One of them can help you deal with anxiety

IDEAS.TED.COM

May 12, 2021 / Judson Brewer MD, Ph

Kati Szilágyi

Back in 2006, psychologists Jordan Litman and Paul Silvia identified two main “flavors” of curiosity, which they dubbed D-curiosity and I-curiosity. 

The D in D-curiosity stands for deprivation, the idea that if we have a gap in information, we go into a restless, unpleasant, need-to-know state, while the I in I-curiosity stands for interest, the pleasurable aspects of the hunger for knowledge. In other words, curiosity — our drive for information — can induce a state that is either aversive or pleasant.

Deprivation curiosity is driven by a lack of information, often a specific piece of information. For example, when you see a picture of a famous actress and you can’t remember her name, you might start racking your brain to remember who it is. Trying to remember might get you into a contracted state, as though you are trying to squeeze that answer out of your brain. Then when you go to google for help and see her name, you feel a sense of relief because you’re no longer deprived of the information.

This extends to texting and social media. If you are out to dinner and you feel or hear a text come into your phone, you might notice that suddenly it’s hard to pay attention — not knowing what the text says can make you restless, causing your body temperature to rise, and that fire of uncertainty is only put out when you check your phone.

Interest curiosity is piqued when we’re interested in learning more about something. Usually this isn’t a specific piece of information (like an actress’s name) but a broader category. For example, did you know that there are animals who keep growing in size until they die? They are called “indeterminate growers” and include sharks, lobsters and kangaroos. In fact, based on its size, one 20-pound lobster was believed to be 140 years old. That’s one big, old lobster! Isn’t that fascinating?

Interest curiosity is when you dive into an internet search and realize hours later you’ve learned a whole bunch of stuff and your thirst for knowledge has been quenched. It feels good to learn something new. This is different from filling a deficit, simply because you weren’t experiencing a deficit in the first place. For instance, you didn’t know about big, old lobsters but when you learned about them, you were intrigued and delighted to know more.

Unlike the D-curiosity — which is about reaching a destination — the I-curiosity is more about the journey. Each of these curiosity “flavors” has different “tastes”, and they feel different in our bodies.  Deprivation feels closed, while interest feels open.

Most of us approach ourselves and the world with D-curiosity, like a problem to be solved. But we’re all in the perfect place to tap into our I-curiosity, which we can leverage to help ourselves break old habits and build new ones.

In practice, what this means is getting more and more curious about what anxiety feels like in your body and how it triggers your worry and procrastination habit loops, instead of assuming you know everything about anxious or that your feelings will never change or you have to find a magic pill or technique to cure you of it.

Over the years, I’ve found that curiosity is a simple tool that helps people — regardless of language, culture and background — drop directly into their embodied experience and tap into their natural capacities for wonder and interest. It puts people right in that sweet spot of openness and engagement.

Let me walk you through a curiosity exercise that I teach everyone on Day 1 in the Unwinding Anxiety app. This exercise can work as a kind of panic button for when anxiety hits, and it takes about 2 minutes.

Step 1: 

Find a quiet comfortable place. You can be sitting, lying down or standing up; you just need to be able to concentrate without being distracted.

Step 2: 

Recall your most recent run-in or incident with a habit loop, which is any habit you find yourself returning to whenever you’re worried or anxious.

See if you can remember the scene and relive that experience, focusing on what you felt right at the time when you were about to act out your habitual behavior. What did that urge to go ahead and “do it” feel like?

Step 3: 

Check in with your body. What sensation can you feel most strongly right now?

Here’s a list of single words or phrases to choose from. Pick only one — the one you feel most strongly:

tightness

pressure

contraction

restlessness

shallow breath

burning

tension

clenching

heat

pit in stomach

buzzing/vibration

Step 4: 

In terms of this feeling, is it more on the right side or the left? In the front, middle, or back of your body? Where do you feel it most strongly?

And was there anything you noticed about being curious about what part of your body you felt the sensation in? Did being a little curious help with getting closer to this sensation?

Step 5: 

If the sensation is still there in your body, see if you can get curious and notice what else is there. Are there other sensations you’re feeling? What happens when you get curious about them? Do they change? What happens when you get really curious about what they feel like?

Step 6: 

Follow them over the next 30 seconds — not trying to do anything to or about them — but simply observing them. Do they change at all when you observe them with an attitude of curiosity?

Whenever I do this exercise, I like to use the mantra “Hmmmm” — as in, the hmm you naturally emit when you’re curious about something (and not to be confused with the traditional mantra “Om”). I find saying “hmm” to myself gets me out of my head and into a direct experience of being curious. It also allows me to bring a playful, even joyful attitude to what I’m doing; it is hard to take yourself too seriously when you are hmm-ing.

This short exercise is just intended to give you a taste of curiosity and to support your natural capacity to be aware about what is happening in your body and your mind at any moment instead of getting caught up in a habit loop. If you notice that by being curious you gained even a microsecond more of being with your thoughts, emotions and body sensations than you have in the past, then you’ve taken a huge step forward.

Here’s what a patient in the Unwinding Anxiety program told me about curiosity:
When I first started the program, I didn’t quite buy into the benefits of curiosity. Today, I felt a wave of panic, and instead of immediate dread or fear, my automatic response was “Hmm, that’s interesting.” That took the wind right out of its sails! I wasn’t just saying it was interesting; I actually felt it.

Sometimes I get the question “What happens if I’m not curious?” My response is to use the mantra of hmmm to drop right into your experience. Ask yourself: “Hmm, what does it feel like not to be curious?”

This helps people move from their thinking, fix-it mind state into a curious awareness of their direct sensations and emotions in their bodies and move out of their thinking heads and into their feeling bodies.

Excerpted with permission from the new book Unwinding Anxiety: New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind by Judson Brewer MD PhD. Published by Avery, an imprint of Penguin Random House, LLC. © 2021 by Judson Brewer.

Watch his TEDMED Talk here: 

Watch this TED-Ed Lesson about panic attacks here: 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Judson Brewer MD, PhD Judson Brewer is the Director of Research and Innovation at the Mindfulness Center and associate professor in psychiatry at the School of Medicine at Brown University, as well as a research affiliate at MIT. As an addiction psychiatrist and expert in mindfulness training for treating addictions, he has developed and tested novel programs for habit change, including both in-person and app-based treatments for smoking, emotional eating and anxiety. Based on the success of these programs in the lab, he cofounded MindSciences, Inc. to create app-based versions of these programs for a wider audience. He is also the author of the book The Craving Mind. 

Melinda

Repost

Celebrate Life · Fun · Mental Health · Music

#Weekend Music Share-Huey Lewis & The News – The Power Of Love 

Flashback!

It’s the weekend!!!!!!

 I’m glad you joined me for another edition of Weekend Music Share this week.

Have a great weekend!

Melinda

Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.

Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Book Review 365 Quotes to Accelerate Your Career and Find Balance in Life by James Espey

 I want to give a special thanks to Editor Andrea Marchiano of Cherish Editions for sending me an advanced copy of 365 Quotes to Accelerate Your Career and Find Balance for review.

Blurb

Dr James Espey OBE is ready to be your mentor. His second book 365 Quotes to Accelerate Your Career and Find Balance in Your Life contains the wisdom gleaned from his half-century career in business and marketing. It’s all presented in short, easy-to-digest quotes from James, as well as from other figures who have inspired him along the way.

James says, “I believe that in the modern world, people are looking for short, pertinent, succinct bits of advice. That is why I decided to write this book: to give you guidance and to encourage you to make the right decisions on your journey through life.”

What people are saying

“A unique take on the wisdom of quotes. Entertaining and makes you think!”
Neville Isdell, former global chairman and CEO of The Coca-Cola Company


“James has spent his career observing, thinking and summing things up succinctly. These quotes provide moments to reflect and be guided by someone who has seen around a few of the bends in the road ahead.”
Peter Bauer, CEO of Mimecast


“James’s ability to draw a quote or a one-liner to sum up a ‘situation’ – tricky, funny or even just routine – has always been a feature of his management and leadership. This unique, spontaneous communication style provides inspiration to all who deal with him.”
Michael Keiller, former CEO of Morrison Bowmore Distillers Ltd

Excerpt From
365 Quotes to Accelerate Your Career and Find Balance in Life
James Espey OBE
This material may be protected by copyright.

My Thoughts

In a work environment, it can be difficult to have a mentor, this book is what is missing to help you chart the course. 365 Quotes to Accelerate Your Career and Find Balance is a book I wished was available during my career. No matter where you’re at in life/career this book will help you ask yourself some tough questions that can propel your career and in turn life. 

The chapters are divided based on where you are in your career, like helping you build your brand. I like Part 3 Personal Values the best because I believe that this is the foundation of who we are as a person which spills over to who we are at work. 

In Chapter 11    

 “If you do not manage your time, time will manage you.
Ten ways to make the most of your working day:”

I love this quote and was so lucky to learn this early in my career from my mentor. The quote is followed by 10 solutions to accomplish this goal. Time management can be difficult to manage and the solutions are easy to understand and implement.

I highly recommend this book to anyone and would make a great graduation gift. 

Cherish Editions 

Cherish Editions is the self-publishing division of the TriggerHub group, the world’s leading platform for books that encourage mental health recovery and wellbeing.

We are experienced in creating and selling positive, responsible, important and inspirational books, which work to de-stigmatise the issues around mental health, as well as helping people who read them to maintain and improve their mental health and wellbeing. By choosing to publish through Cherish Editions, you will get the expertise of the dedicated TriggerHub Team at every step of the process.

Melinda

Looking for the Light

@lookinglight

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Mental Health

Wordless Wednesday-Little Man Jett

I’m glad you joined me on Wordless Wednesday and I hope to see you soon.

He’s my cling on and can’t get enough tummy rubs.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Men, Are You Getting Your Regular Check-Up’s & Screenings?

According to the CDC, the leading cause of death in Men in 2021 was Heart Dieases, with close to 700,000 men dying from the dieases. The good news is Heart Dieases is preventable and reasearch is on-going.

Prostate cancer is the most common cancer in men in the US, other than skin cancer. It’s also the second-leading cause of cancer death (after lung cancer). About 1 in 8 men will get prostate cancer in their lifetime.

It can happen at any age, but the chances go up as a man gets older. Most prostate cancers are found in men over the age of 65. Prostate cancer happens more often in Black men than in men of other races and ethnicities. And when Black men do get it, they are often younger.

Having one or more close relatives with prostate cancer also increases a man’s risk of having prostate cancer.

Men’s Check-Up’s & Screenings

Regular physical exams

Screening can identify specific conditions and cancers, including:

Abdominal aortic aneurysm

Colon cancer

Depression

Diabetes

High blood pressure

High cholesterol

Lung cancer

Prostate cancer

Dentist

Almost half of all adult cancers might be prevented by things we can do or change.

  • Stay away from tobacco.
  • Be as physically active as you can.
  • Eat more nutritious foods, including fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. Avoid or limit processed foods, red meats, sugary drinks, and refined grains.
  • Get to a healthy weight range.
  • It’s best not to drink alcohol. If you do drink, have no more than 2 drinks per day for men.
  • Protect your skin from the sun.
  • Know yourself, your family history, and your risks.
  • Get regular checkups and recommended cancer screening tests.

Melinda

References:

https://www.cdc.gov/womens-health/lcod/males.html

https://www.cancer.org

Children · Communicating · Family · Health and Wellbeing · Mental Health

Researchers: Parents can help their children to face anxiety

Behavioral science expert gives some ways to help your child beat separation anxiety

Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com

NEW HAVEN, Conn. – According to the National Institutes of Health, the numbers of kids and adolescents struggling with anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions have been steadily on the rise. Cognitive-behavioral therapy, which teaches the child coping skills, and medication may help. But for some kids and their families, there is little relief. Now, researchers are studying a new method that helps parents help their children.

Bedtime for some families can become a struggle. But when the goodnight routine for Nicole Murphy’s son began to stretch for up to three hours, she knew she needed help with his separation anxiety.

“His little mind was always racing nonstop. So, it was kind of hard for him to shut that off, I think,” Nicole explained.

Eli Lebowitz, Ph.D., Psychologist, Yale School of Medicine Child Study Center, and his colleagues, developed a method of training parents to support anxious children. It’s called SPACE, or supportive parenting for anxious childhood emotions. Parents go through training to help their child face anxiety. Lebowitz says the first step is to show support and not downplay what their child is feeling.

“I get it. This is really hard, but I know you can handle it,” shared Dr. Lebowitz.

Lebowitz said parents also learn to help their children by not accommodating them. For example, a parent who would limit visitors for a child who gets anxious around strangers, or speaks for a child who gets nervous speaking, learns not to take those steps. In a study of 124 kids and their parents, the Yale researchers examined whether SPACE intervention was effective in treating children’s anxiety.

“Even though the children never met directly with the therapist and all the work was done through the parents, we found that SPACE was just as effective as CBT in treating childhood anxiety disorders,” stated Dr. Lebowitz.

The Murphy’s used the techniques learned through SPACE to coach their son through bedtime. Within a few weeks, he was falling asleep in 30 minutes.

“For us, it was like life-changing, honestly,” smiled Nicolle.

Melinda

Repost

Celebrate Life · Children · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Depression Awareness Month

This awareness month is critical for all ages, even the youngest of children can feel depression and even though you may think they should blow it off, it’s not that easy and you can alienate them from talking to you again. Today life is so hard on kids, from an early age they are judged for the way they look, and who their friends are, for any reason because there are so many who don’t know who to communicate with and are haters. Kids also mimic their parents, if your child is having problems, look at your own behavior.

Young girls are fed to believe that these so-called influencers are real perfect-looking people who are pumping the greatest products they have to have. It never crosses their mind that the person is not an influencer, they are made up to look like the girls want to be and they are selling a product they make money on. They don’t get it or don’t want to. They are bullied for being a certain weight or not looking like someone else’s unrealistic standards.

Mix in real life as they get older and a deeper depression may present itself, it could be short-term term or it could be from unresolved issues, one you may not even know about. The key is to get your children the help they need at every step. As they age, professional help may be the answer. Don’t let stigma keep your child from getting the help they need.

As for adults, life can get messy, people can hurt you deeply, someone you trusted can betray you and family can hurt the worst. Some people may be more predisposed to depression whereas others may be situational driven. Adults have their own stigma and don’t seek out help, some men don’t think they need help and some just don’t know where to turn because the answer is not their parents. This is where a therapist comes in, therapy can be short-term just to get over a hump or more long-term because you have many buried issues that need to be addressed.

October is Depression Education and Awareness Month | Newsroom ...

October is recognized as Depression Awareness Month each year. The purpose is to increase understanding, decrease stereotypes, and help educate on how depression and other mental health issues impact people.

Awareness months give people affected by a specific condition a chance to share their stories. The goal is to help increase the overall understanding of depression or other conditions and help overcome stereotypes.

Depression is a common mental health concern in America and throughout the world. Far more than just “feeling sad,” depression negatively impacts how a person feels, thinks, and acts. It can cause disruption to school, work, and personal interests.

Misconceptions and misunderstandings of depression contribute to continuing stigmas about people living with the condition, the reasons it occurs, and their willingness to seek care.

In a 2018 study, researchers conducted a survey to assess the public’s knowledge of depression and the severity of the stigma surrounding it. Key findings included:

  • 30% reported believing a “weak personality” causes depression
  • 58.9% reported believing that pharmaceutical interventions or medications are not an effective treatment
  • over 70% reported understanding the importance of rest and that a person may appear happier than they actually are when living with depression

Depression can wear you out at the exact time you need all of your strength to fight. Trying to cope is extremely tiring — and it’s often difficult to know when others are suffering. That’s why, during October, we observe National Depression Education & Awareness Month. This important holiday helps teach us about the signs, symptoms, and treatment options for depression. It also lets all of us know that seeking help — either from a counselor, a trusted friend, or your community — is a sign of hope and strength.

Signs of Depression to look for

  1. Feeling sad, hopeless, or empty.
  2. Losing interest in activities that you used to enjoy.
  3. Changes in appetite, weight loss, or weight gain.
  4. Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much.
  5. Feeling tired and lacking energy.
  6. Difficulty concentrating, making decisions, or remembering things.
  7. Feeling irritable or restless.
  8. Thoughts of death or suicide.
  9. Withdrawing from social activities and isolating themselves from others.
  10. Difficulty performing daily activities and taking care of themselves.
  11. Feeling guilty or worthless.
  12. Changes in behavior, such as increased substance use or reckless behavior.
  13. Unexplained physical symptoms, such as headaches or stomachaches.

This is not an exhaustive list but it’s a good start to start looking for when you or your child it not themselves. It’s sometimes hard to see depression in yourself and you need someone you trust to give you feedback and it can be hard to hear. Work to have an open mind.

Melinda

References:

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/depression-awareness-month

Repost
Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Mental Health · Music

#Weekend Music Share-U.S.A. For Africa -We Are the World

We are the World, we have to work together, our governments have work together to make the world a better place for all. The video has many meanings to me and I hope you see the commitment of everyone singing.

It’s the weekend!!!!!!

 I’m glad you joined me for another edition of Weekend Music Share this week.

Have a great weekend!

Melinda

Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.

Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.

Children · Chronic Illness · Family · Health and Wellbeing · Mental Health

Managing Fibromyalgia In Children

Welcome to Remedy, a blog by U.S. Pain Foundation. Remedy aims to provide people with the support they need to thrive despite chronic pain. It features the information about promising treatments, tips and strategies for self-management, resources for coping with the emotional and social effects of pain, unique perspectives from patients, clinicians, and caregivers–and much more. To submit an article idea, email contact@uspainfoundation.org.

If your child feels tired and achy, you may not worry initially. After all, there’s nothing urgent about what seems to be mild, general discomfort. However, if your child is constantly in pain, exhausted, having trouble sleeping, and experiencing intense moods, he/she may have fibromyalgia.

This condition is fairly common in adults, but parents and clinicians may overlook the possibility of juvenile primary fibromyalgia syndrome — that is, fibromyalgia in children.

JUVENILE FIBROMYALGIA SYMPTOMS TO WATCH OUT FOR

Fibromyalgia is a chronic condition characterized by pain and fatigue. According to experts, children will often describe this pain as “stiffness, tightness, tenderness, burning or aching.” This pain can last for months and is often accompanied by other symptoms that affect a child’s overall well-being, energy level, and emotional health, including:

  • Tender spots on muscles
  • Difficulty sleeping and fatigue
  • Aches, including stomachaches and headaches
  • Lack of focus or memory
  • Anxiety and depression

If your child is experiencing these symptoms, you should see a doctor. There’s not one test to confirm it, so he/she will go through a range of tests to rule out other conditions.

Unfortunately, there is no one “cure” for fibromyalgia, which can be frustrating for patients, especially children. If left untreated, symptoms can lead to issues at school or making friends. Many parents describe this as a “vicious cycle” where symptoms continue to feed the condition.

Experts still aren’t sure what causes fibromyalgia or how it develops in the body. Some believe that mixed-up pain signals in the brain cause greater pain chemicals and/or overactive pain receptors. Others think it might be triggered, in part, by an emotional event like an illness, injury or psychological stress. But even if the cause involves emotions, the pain is still real.

HOW CHILDREN CAN COPE WITH FIBROMYALGIA

It’s important to create a support team and get your child’s primary care doctor, pain specialist, psychologist, physical therapist, and teachers on board. The more people are aware of your child’s condition, the more they can help him/her cope with symptoms at home and school. You may also want to look for pain support groups near you, for both your child and you as a parent.

Your doctor can help you decide whether medication, such as anti-inflammatories, antidepressants, or nerve pain medications, may be right for your child. He or she also may recommend therapies like injections or topical creams. In conjunction with these interventions, your doctor will probably prescribe treatments like physical therapy and behavioral changes, which are crucial to long-term management of fibromyalgia.

Let’s go over some nonpharmacological strategies for coping with fibromyalgia.

FIVE STRATEGIES FOR IMPROVED SYMPTOMS

Although fibromyalgia may disrupt your child’s life, affecting school and friendships, you may be able to improve your child’s quality of life with these natural therapies and changes. Of course, there’s no cure for fibromyalgia, but by managing symptoms, you can help your child get back to some sense of normalcy.

  1. Get moving!

Exercise can be incredibly valuable for managing your child’s fibromyalgia symptoms. Exercise can relieve muscle stiffness and tire out the body physically so that your child can fall asleep more easily. In particular, pool exercises have been shown to help patients because the warm water can have a soothing effect on pain and also promote blood circulation.

Consider signing up your child for swim class to get regular exercise that is both fun and good for symptoms. Start with limited intervals of exercise at first, and slowly increase them as symptoms allow. Aquatic physical therapy can be extremely beneficial for patients whose fibromyalgia is too severe for regular pool activities.

  1. Incorporate meditation methods

While your child may not be interested in meditation, try to incorporate some of the practices in your child’s daily life. After playtime, encourage your child to take a moment to relax and reset. In addition, teach your child how to use relaxing breathing exercises when he/she feels overwhelmed during school or before bed.

Studies show that meditation can help reduce fibromyalgia patients’ stiffness, anxiety and depression. In the least, promoting a stress-free environment and creating a sense of relaxation will help your child feel less anxious.

  1. Say goodnight to fibromyalgia

Your child’s sleep routine is essential for improving fibromyalgia symptoms. Chart out the best routine for your child together. Make sure he/she goes to bed at the same time every day and start “sleep-ready” habits an hour before bed. This routine could include a break from screen time, reading a story together, listening to a relaxing song and/or taking a hot bath. Promoting a relaxing environment will help your child get to sleep.

Make sure you’re not giving your child food late at night, especially items with any caffeine or sugar. Also, be sure take away tablets and cell phones. The blue light can wake up your child instead of helping him/her get sleepy. Sufficient sleep is essential to managing pain.

  1. Change your child’s diet for success

Some experts recommend following an anti-inflammatory diet to prevent aches and pains. In general, an anti-inflammatory diet is based on the Mediterranean diet, which emphasizes fish, fish, vegetables, whole grains, and olive oil.

Update your child’s lunch to include a handful of nuts, or add an apple for a snack. Anytime you can add fruits and vegetables to his/her diet, do it! This boost of nutrients will fuel your child for success. Try to limit junk food as well, which has no value and could actually inflame your child’s pains.

  1. Schedule your child for a physical therapy session

Your child could benefit from seeing a physical therapist or chiropractor near you. Recent studies show how physical therapy or chiropractic can have a positive impact on fibromyalgia patients. Finding the right physical therapist is important. Call in advance to ensure they have experience with fibromyalgia and/or with children. Specific exercises in physical therapy can help to improve your child’s core strength and incorporate techniques to soothe muscle aches and pain. Similarly, regular massage therapy sessions with an experienced masseuse can improve your child’s exercise, sleep and mood.

TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR

A fibromyalgia diagnosis can be challenging, but doesn’t have to take over your child’s life. It’s a good idea to talk to an expert to come up with the most effective care plan for your child, one that ideally includes a diverse range of strategies, like those listed above. Together, you can talk about your child’s specific issues and needs, and figure out the best way to improve symptoms.

About Dr. Brent Wells

Dr. Brent Wells is a graduate of the University of Nevada where he earned his bachelor of science degree before moving on to complete his doctorate from Western States Chiropractic College. He founded Better Health Chiropractic and Physical Rehab in Anchorage in 1998. He became passionate about being in the chiropractic field after his own experiences with hurried, unprofessional healthcare providers. The goal for Dr. Wells is to treat his patients with care and compassion while providing them with a better quality of life through his professional treatment.

Melinda

Repost

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Survivor

Interview With Christine Clayfield Author Of “No Forth River”

No Fourth River is a must-read for anyone who has experienced a dysfunctional household with domestic violence, child abuse, humiliation, electroshock therapy, boarding school, and most importantly survived to see much better days.

Review from Amazon.

Reviewed in the United States on February 28, 2018

Verified Purchase

I’m thrilled to take part in the Blog Tour for Christine Clayfield’s first novel “No Fourth River”. Christine, it’s great to talk with you this morning. Let’s jump in.

Your novel “No Fourth River” is incredibly personal. Starting with the brutal abuse from your father to all the siblings. What convinced you now was the right time to write your story?

There are four influencing factors that made me decide to write my story.

1) My husband and daughters kept telling me, over the years, that I should write a book about my life.

2) I don’t usually share my story with others. However, sometimes when I unintentionally mention things from my past, people are intrigued. They want to know more about my life. I’ve often been told that I should write a book because my struggles would resonate with others and my life story could be an inspiration.

3) I had been jotting down ideas for a while but never started to write. When I collected enough courage to speak on stage, people often burst into tears during my speech. They came up to me after my speech to thank me for sharing my story and to tell me how inspired they were. That moment was when I decided to write my life story. I didn’t realize until then that my life story was an inspiration to others.  Very shortly after that, I started writing No Fourth River.

I transformed my life and I wanted to spell out valuable messages in my book too. If I can change one person’s life who will read my book, I will have achieved my goal. I have shared my life experiences, deeply personal ones too, and hope to make a difference in someone else’s life. I want people to know that you can change your life, no matter what you have been through. I am a living example.

4) I am not getting any younger so I needed to do it sooner rather than too late when I perhaps won’t remember all the details of my life.

Your fans responded to “No Fourth River” by rating the book with five stars on Amazon.com. What was your first reaction?

I was anxiously awaiting the arrival of my first review as I was curious to read people’s thoughts about my story. When I saw my first review, I was pleased as punch and totally overwhelmed with happiness. The review confirmed what I wanted my book to be: an inspiration to others.

How long did the writing process take?

From the moment I started jotting down dates of events in my life until the manuscript was totally finished, 2 years went by. However, I wasn’t writing full-time at the beginning, just a few hours per week. Once I’d written a few chapters, I started thinking: “I can actually do this; write a novel”. I had written five business books prior but this was my first novel. From that moment, I started writing most days of the week and I finished the book one year later but had a long break in between as my mum moved in with me and I looked after her in her last stages of dementia.

“No Fourth River” is your first novel, what’s your next book?

I am planning to write a book about “How to market a novel” , based on my experiences. I believe there is a big gap in the market for an informative book on this subject.

I am also scribbling down ideas for my second novel: a fiction novel.

Writers are often avid readers. What type of book do you read for pleasure?

Aside from reading books about all aspects of doing business, I love true stories and inspirational stories.

What are some of your other personal leisure activities?

A leisure activity is doing what you like and as I like working, I consider that as one of my leisure activities. When you enjoy what you are doing, it doesn’t feel like working. I also enjoy watching my husband play drums in his touring theatre show. Apart from that, I love traveling, watching a good movie, and dining with friends and family.

How do you want fans to contact you? 

I prefer to be contacted by email: info@christineclayfield.com

Christine’s novel “No Fourth River” available now.

Amazon.co.uk 

Amazon.com 

Amazon.ca 

Indigo.ca

It’s such a pleasure to talk with you today. I wish you continued success on “No Fourth River”.

Melinda

Repost

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Mental Health

Wordless Wednesday-Monster Tomato Plants

I’m glad you joined me on Wordless Wednesday and I hope to see you soon.

Our tomato plants have never grown this big, they are even growing around the hot tube. We picked four delicious tomatos before a critter moved in and ate every last one. I’m planning differently for next year to keep the critter out. David started to pull the plants out this week and will require several more days before it’s complete.

Melinda

Children · Communicating · Family · Health and Wellbeing · Mental Health

Why Kids And Teens May Face More Anxiety Far More These Days

When it comes to treating anxiety in children and teens, Instagram, Twitter and Facebook are the bane of therapists’ work.“With (social media), it’s all about the self-image — who’s ‘liking’ them, who’s watching them, who clicked on their picture,” said Marco Grados, associate professor of psychiatry and clinical director of child and adolescent psychiatry at Johns Hopkins Hospital. “Everything can turn into something negative … [K]ids are exposed to that day after day, and it’s not good for them.”

Anxiety, not depression, is the leading mental health issue among American youths, and clinicians and research both suggest it is rising. The latest study was published in April in the Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics. Based on data collected from the National Survey of Children’s Health for ages 6 to 17, researchers found a 20 percent increase in diagnoses of anxiety between 2007 and 2012. (The rate of depression over that same time period ticked up 0.2 percent.)

Philip Kendall, director of the Child and Adolescent Anxiety Disorders Clinic at Temple University and a practicing psychologist, was not surprised by the results and applauded the study for its “big picture” approach.

The data on anxiety among 18- and 19-year-olds is even starker. Since 1985, the Higher Education Research Institute at UCLA has been asking incoming college freshmen if they “felt overwhelmed” by all they had to do. The first year, 18 percent replied yes. By 2000, that climbed to 28 percent. By 2016, to nearly 41 percent.

The same pattern is clear when comparing modern-day teens to those of their grandparents’ or great-grandparents’ era. One of the oldest surveys in assessing personality traits and psychopathology is the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory, which dates to the Great Depression and remains in use today. When Jean Twenge, a professor of psychology at San Diego State University, looked at the MMPI responses from more than 77,500 high school and college students over the decades, she found that five times as many students in 2007 “surpassed thresholds” in more than one mental health category than they did in 1938. Anxiety and depression were six times more common.

Those responding yes were asked to describe the level of both anxiety and depression in their children: 10.7 percent said their child’s depression was severe, and 15.2 percent who listed their child’s anxiety at that level.

Among the study’s other findings: Anxiety and depression were more commonly found among white and non-Hispanic children, and children with anxiety or depression were more likely than their peers to be obese. The researchers acknowledge that the survey method — parents reporting what they were told by their child’s doctor — likely skewed the results.

 Grados often identifies anxiety in the children and adolescents he sees as part of his clinical practice in Baltimore. “I have a wide range [of patients], take all insurances, do inpatients, day hospital, outpatients, and see anxiety across all strata,” he said.

The causes of that anxiety also include classroom pressures, according to Grados. “Now we’re measuring everything,” he said. “School is putting so much pressure on them with the competitiveness … I’ve seen eighth graders admitted as inpatients, saying they have to choose a career!”

Yet even one of the latest study’s authors acknowledges that it can be difficult to tease out the truth about the rise in anxiety.

“If you look at past studies,” said John T. Walkup, chairman of the Department of Psychiatry at Lurie Children’s Hospital in Chicago, “you don’t know if the conditions themselves are increasing or clinicians are making the diagnosis more frequently due to advocacy or public health efforts.”

Nearly a third of all adolescents ages 13 to 18 will experience an anxiety disorder during their lifetime, according to the National Institutes of Health, with the incidence among girls (38.0 percent) far outpacing that among boys (26.1 percent).

Identifying anxiety in kids and getting them help is paramount, according to clinicians. “Anxiety can be an early stage of other conditions,” Grados said. “Bipolar, schizophrenia later in life can initially manifest as anxiety.”

For all these reasons, Kendall said, increased awareness is welcome.

“If you look at the history of child mental health problems,” he said, “we knew about delinquency at the beginning of the 20th century, autism was diagnosed in the 1940s, teenage depression in the mid-’80s. Anxiety is really coming late to the game.”

Melinda

Reference:

Celebrate Life · Fun · Mental Health · Music

#Weekend Music Share-Toto – Hold The Line (Official Video)

Get’s my blood pumping! Love the 80’s.

It’s the weekend!!!!!!

 I’m glad you joined me for another edition of Weekend Music Share.

Have a great weekend!

Melinda

Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.

Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.

Celebrate Life · Family · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

How To Set Boundaries With Children

Setting boundaries is no more than communicating what you expect from the other person. All people need boundaries in their life. Some boundaries are harder to set than others say like the Internet and Cell Phones, boundries have to start young.

The difficulty with setting boundaries gets harder when your children are adults however if you’ve set clear boundaries growing up it isn’t a problem, maybe a conversation or to reclarify.

As a teen I was raised by my grandparents so I skipped a generation, meaning my grandparents were from deep poverty and the war generation. I went to live with them at 14 years old as a troubled teen. Boundaries were clearly needed.

Boundries My Grandparents Set

No phone calls after 9PM

In bed by 10PM

No leaving the house after 9PM

Curfew was midnight sharp!

Doors to the room were left open unless needed for privacy

Could only drive the car to take Granny shopping, run family errands, to school and back, basketball, special school dances, to write for school or local newspaper.

Once I started working I had to pay Gramps $8 a week for gas and the extra $50 a year it cost to add me to the insurance policy.

No sleepovers

Had to meet every date and friends

Today’s challenges

The biggest challenge faced by a pre-teen and teen is the Internet and Social media. Neither was around in my day. I didn’t buy my first computer until 1991.

If you start setting boundaries very early in life with will be much easier to set them with an emotional teen. One of the biggest challenges is peer pressure at this age and you will have to stand on what is appropriate for your specific child, are responsible enough, and is there a reason.

Now there are a few things to remember, I grew up in a strict environment and believe the boundaries and consequences are appropriate for a healthy relationship.

You have the opportunity to set boundaries are soon as your child is a toddler and the more boundaries as they get older. Be prepared for meltdowns, calling names, which is another boundary to set, and being mad at you.

If you want to try to be a friend to your child all their life you can stop reading here. I don’t buy into that style of parenting.

One of the first things that might come up is what language is appropriate to use in the house, for example calling names.

We’ll eat at dinner time and not in the bedroom. Even if your child is studying, they need a break from the books and this is your time to communicate with your child. How was their day?

A big bone of contention is the Internet and Cell Phones. This is where you will get the most push because this is one huge peer pressure in your pre/teen’s life.

If your child is under 16 years old, but the computer is in an open but quiet part of the house to use. After they reach 16 or are very mature and responsible for their age you can move into their bedroom. The key here is, having a tracking device and blocking sites and apps they can use. Also, give them a limit to how long they have per day to use the computer. If the whole time is taken up for doing school work, too bad they have to wait until the next day.

The other teaching experience is learning responsibility and this can be done by boundaries. If you give your child an allowance, determine how much they should pay you for the computer and phone. Make them save for it. If they don’t save, it’s not that important or they are not responsible enough.

My granny knew how bad I wanted a camera, she said if I would save half she would pay for the other half. That was so appreciated because I didn’t expect it. Those lessons from my grandparents set me up for some great lessons in life. 

I’m strict and believe that many problems today are created by the Internet and children’s exposure at too young of an age.

Photo by PhotoMIX Company on Pexels.com

Cell phones are another battle with children. There is so much peer pressure. You have to decide if the phone is needed, are they responsible enough to keep up with it or buy a new one themselves. Same if they lose it. If the child is working, I would have them pay a portion of the bill.

Make sure you buy the lowest Data plan, put a tracker on, and block sites. You are to have the code to the phone at all times and be free to read text. This is not only setting boundaries it’s teaching them responsibility.

A crucial part of setting boundaries is there will be times when they need to be broken, that’s life and you have to monitor the reasons. If there is a mass shooting, they can use all the data they have in one day! The key is communication and understanding why they ran out of data if it’s not apparent. It’s critical that you let your child know you are monitoring their computer and phone activity. If you sneak around you’ll have a hard time gaining their trust again. If they know up front, they have to make wise decisions or not be smart enough to try. It’s that simple. 

As your children move out and learn to spread their wings, you’ll have to set new boundaries. But that’s for another post.

Melinda

Repost

 

Chronic Illness · Health and Wellbeing · Lyme Disease · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Tick Borne Illnesses

Resources to help figure out your next move-Critical Information For Children & Adult’s

Social media. We spread the word via FacebookTwitterInstagram and Pinterest.

Our free weekly email newsletters keep you informed on Lyme-related developments. Click here to sign up.

US National Lyme Online Support Group: Information and emotional support for people dealing with Lyme and other tick-borne diseases.

MyLymeData patient registry: This big data research project allows patients to privately pool information about their Lyme disease experiences. So far, more than 17,000 people have enrolled in the project, providing millions of data points on Lyme disease demographics, tick bites, diagnosis, symptoms, lab tests, co-infections, treatment and quality of life. Add your Lyme data to MyLymeData to help find a cure for Lyme disease.

Lyme disease posters

Children and Lyme disease

Basic info about children with Lyme disease Gestational Lyme disease LymeHope, a Canadian Lyme advocacy organization, has taken a particular interest in the issue of mother-to-fetus Lyme transmission.

LymeAid4Kids–Financial assistance for Lyme treatment for those under age 21.

Lymelight Foundation–financial assistance for Lyme treatment for children and young adults through age 25

.LivLyme Foundation–Financial grants for children with Lyme disease (under 21).

Mothers Against LymeAdvocacy and education about congenital and childhood Lyme

Video: Lyme Disease & Pregnancy: State of the Science & Opportunities for Research

Book: When Your Child Has Lyme Disease: A Parent’s Survival Guide  by Sandra Berenbaum and Dorothy Kupcha Leland.

Book: Brain Inflamed: Uncovering the Hidden Causes of Anxiety, Depression, and other Mood Disorders in Adolescents and Teens  by Dr. Kenneth Bock

.Book: Protecting Your  Child From the Child Protection System, by Beth Alison Maloney

Book: Finding Resilience: A Teen’s Journey Through Lyme Disease, by Rachel Leland and Dorothy Kupcha Leland

.Article: Healthy Mom Best Prescription for Healthy Baby (The Lyme Times) (PDF)

Wrightslaw.com–Website with information about Special Education law.

PANS/PANDAS

ASPIRE: The Alliance to Solve PANS and Immune Related Encephalopathies

New England PANS/PANDAS Association

Northwest PANDAS/PANS Network

PANDAS Network

Moleculera Labs

Three books by Beth Alison Maloney:  Saving Sammy,  Childhood Interrupted: The Complete Guide to PANDAS and PANS, and Protecting Your Child from the Child Protection system (The author of these books is the mother of a child who healed from PANDAS. She is an attorney/advocate for the recognition and treatment of PANS/PANDAS, and advises parents about legal issues related to PANS/PANDAS and other complex medical conditions.)

Parenting with PANS

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Ticks

Types of ticks

How to protect yourself from ticks

Find the repellent that’s right for you (EPA website)

Help! I’ve gotten a tick bite. Now what?

TickEncounter Resource Center—University of Rhode Island

Tick testing. There are various places to get ticks tested. Here are several: IGeneXTickCheckTicknologyTick Report

MilTICK—free tick testing and identification service available for ticks removed from Department of Defense (DoD) personnel and their dependents. 

Mast cell activation syndrome and food-related issues

MCAS, when your immune system goes haywire

The agony of mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS)

Healing from mast cell activation syndrome

What to eat when you’re allergic to everything?

Severe weather can worsen mast cell activation syndrome

Alpha-gal syndrome

There is growing evidence that certain types of tick bites can trigger alpha-gal syndrome (AGS) a life-threatening allergy to red meat and meat-related products.

Alpha-gal syndrome–symptoms, diagnosis, treatment

Tick-Borne Conditions United

Alpha-gal Information Website

Other Lyme-related symptoms & issues

Lyme carditis and heart block

Lyme disease can affect the heart in complicated ways

Lyme disease and cognitive impairments

Gastrointestinal manifestations of Lyme

Psychiatric manifestations of Lyme 

Lyme disease and hearing loss

Lyme and multiple sclerosis 

Lyme and allodynia 

Medical marijuana and Lyme disease 

The dreaded Jarisch-Herxheimer reaction

How Lyme disease can affect your vision

12 ways you can help yourself manage chronic pain  

Morgellons

The Charles E. Holman Morgellons Disease FoundationMorgellons: The legitimization of a disease (book review)Skin Deep: The Battle Over Morgellons (documentary film) 

Treating Lyme disease with disulfiram

What is disulfiram and why does it spark excitement in Lyme community?Treating psychiatric Lyme symptoms with disulfiram

Co-infections

The Lyme Times Special Issue on Co-infections (PDF)About Lyme disease co-infectionsCo-infections poster

Mold

Lyme and mold 

Survivingmold.com

Dealing with Lyme disease and mold illness at the same time

Mold Testing Guide (How to test your home for mold)

Your guide to mold in your home

Clean indoor air on a budget

Are you unknowingly ingesting toxic mold?

How to donate blood and tissue for Lyme research

Lyme Disease Biobank

Lyme and pets

Basic information about Lyme and pets

Parasite prevalence maps Educational website includes a US map down to the county level, showing where dogs have tested positive for Lyme, anaplasmosis, erhlichiosis and other diseases. Also, information about protecting your pet from tick-borne diseases.

Companion Animal Parasite Council website has comprehensive information about how to protect your pets from ticks and other parasites.

Books (Treatment, healing modalities, family life)

Brain Inflamed: Uncovering the Hidden Causes of Anxiety, Depression, and Other Mood Disorders in Adolescents and Teensby Dr. Kenneth Bock

CHRONIC: The Hidden Cause of the Autoimmune Pandemic and How to Get Healthy Againby Dr. Steven Phillips and Dana Parish

Conquering Lyme Disease: Science Bridges the Great Divide, by Brian A. Fallon, MD, and Jennifer Sotsky, MD

The Deep Places: A Memoir of Illness and Discovery, by Ross Douthat. The New York Times columnist delves into his personal years-long battle with chronic Lyme disease.

Finding Resilience: A Teen’s Journey Through Lyme Disease, by Rachel Leland and Dorothy Kupcha Leland. Based on the journal Rachel kept during the worst years of her illness, with additional insights from her mother, Dorothy.

How can I get better? An Action Plan for Treating Resistant Lyme and Chronic Disease, by Dr. Richard Horowitz

The Lyme Diet, by Dr. Nicola McFadzean. What to eat while healing from Lyme.

Recovery from Lyme Disease: The Integrative Medicine Guide to Diagnosing and Treating Tick-Borne Illnessby Dr. Daniel Kinderlehrer.

TOXIC: Heal Your Body from Mold Toxicity, Lyme Disease, Multiple Chemical Sensitivities, and Chronic Environmental Illness, by Dr. Neil Nathan.

When Your Child Has Lyme Disease: A Parent’s Survival Guide  by Sandra Berenbaum and Dorothy Kupcha Leland.

Why Can’t I Get Better? Solving the Mystery of Lyme and Chronic Disease, by Dr. Richard Horowitz.

Books (History, Policy, and Science)

Bitten: The Secret History of Lyme Disease and Biological Weapons, by Kris Newby

Cure Unknown: Inside the Lyme Epidemic, by Pamela Weintraub.

Lyme: The First Epidemic of Climate Changeby Mary Beth Pfeiffer.

Film and Video

I’m Not Crazy, I’m sick, Lyme documentary, available on various streaming services.

The Quiet Epidemic, documentary film about chronic Lyme disease, available on various streaming services.

Under Our Skin, award-winning Lyme documentary film.

Under Our Skin 2: Emergence (sequel)

The Red Ring, documentary takes a global look at Lyme disease.

Your Labs Are Normal, feature film based on real-life experiences.

Financial assistance

LymeTAP.com–Lyme Testing Access Program. Financial assistance for Lyme diagnostic testing.

Needymeds.com–Clearing house for information about various kinds of financial assistance for obtaining medication.

Lymelight Foundation–financial assistance for Lyme treatment for children and young adults through age 25.

Lyme Treatment Foundation–financial assistance for Lyme treatment. No age restrictions.

LivLyme Foundation–Financial grants for children with Lyme disease.

LymeAid4Kids—grants for young Lyme patients (up to age 21).

Partner in Lyme—grants for Lyme treatment for residents of Connecticut.

Applying for Social Security benefits for Lyme disease

Outside of the United States

ALCE Asociación de Lyme Crónico España (Spain)

Canadian Lyme Disease Foundation

LymeHope (Canada)

LYRI (Mexico)

Lyme Disease Action (UK)

LymeDiseaseUK

Lyme Disease Association of Australia

Karl McManus Foundation (Australia)

France Lyme

Tick Talk Ireland

Lyme Poland

Association Luxembourgeoise Borréliose de Lyme (Luxembourg)

Onlyme-aktion.org  (Germany)

Lymevereniging (Netherlands)

This is one of the most comprehensive articles Lyme Dieases and co-infections. When you talk to a expert on the subject matter be sure to ask for referral, it took me two doctors to find the right doctor. I can say that you General Doctor is not the right type of doctor for your treatment and surgical. YES, it’s that important. The best source for referrals for Lyme Literate Doctor is ILADS.

Melinda

REFERENCE:

TOUCHED BY LYME is written by Dorothy Kupcha Leland, LymeDisease.org’s Vice-president and Director of Communications. She is co-author of When Your Child Has Lyme Disease: A Parent’s Survival Guide. Contact her at dleland@lymedisease.org .

Celebrate Life · Family · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

10 tips for cultivating creativity in your kids

IDEAS.TED.COM

Mar 31, 2020 / Mitch Resnick

Turns out, it’s less about “teaching” creativity to children — and more about creating a fertile environment in which their creativity will take root, grow and flourish. Researcher Mitch Resnick, director of the Lifelong Kindergarten Group at MIT, explains how we can do this.

There’s a common misconception that the best way to encourage children’s creativity is simply to get out of the way and let them be creative. Although it’s certainly true that children are naturally curious and inquisitive, they need support to develop their creative capacities and reach their full creative potential. Supporting children’s development is always a balancing act: how much structure, how much freedom; when to step in, when to step back; when to show, when to tell, when to ask, when to listen.

In putting together this list, I am combining tips for parents and teachers, because I think the core issues for cultivating creativity are the same, whether you’re in the home or in the classroom. The key challenge is not how to “teach” creativity to children, but rather how to create a fertile environment in which their creativity will take root, grow, and flourish.

The list is organized around the five components of what I call the Creative Learning Spiral, a process that encourages children to imagine what they want to do, create projects through playing with tools and materials, share ideas and creations with others, and reflect on their experiences.

For each of these five components, I’ve suggested two tips. However, these tips are just a very small subset of all of the things you might ask and do to cultivate children’s creativity. View them as a representative sample, and come up with more of your own.

IMAGINE

1. Show examples to spark ideas

A blank page, a blank canvas, and a blank screen can be intimidating. A collection of examples can help spark the imagination. When we run Scratchworkshops, we always start by showing sample projects — to give a sense of what’s possible (inspirational projects) and to provide ideas on how to get started (starter projects). We show a diverse range of projects, in hopes of connecting with the interests and passions of workshop participants.

Of course, there’s a risk that children will simply mimic or copy the examples that they see. That’s OK as a start, but only as a start. Encourage them to change or modify the examples. Suggest that they insert their own voice or add their own personal touch. What might they do differently? How can they add their own style, connect to their own interests? How can they make it their own?

2. Encourage messing around

Most people assume that imagination takes place in the head, but the hands are just as important. To help children generate ideas for projects, we often encourage them to start messing around with materials. As children play with LEGO bricks or tinker with craft materials, new ideas emerge. What started as an aimless activity becomes the beginning of an extended project.

We’ll sometimes organize mini hands-on activities to get children started. For example, we’ll ask children to put a few LEGO bricks together, then pass the structure to a friend to add a few more, then continue back and forth. After a few iterations, children often have new ideas for things they want to build.

CREATE

3. Provide a wide variety of materials

Children are deeply influenced by the toys, tools and materials in the world around them. To engage children in creative activities, make sure they have access to a broad diversity of materials for drawing, building and crafting. New technologies, like robotics kits and 3-D printers, can expand the range of what children create, but don’t overlook traditional materials. A Computer Clubhouse coordinator was embarrassed to admit to me that her members were making their own dolls with “nylons, newspapers, and bird seed,” without any advanced technology, but I thought their projects were great.

Different materials are good for different things. LEGO bricks and popsicle sticks are good for making skeletons, felt and fabric are good for making skins, and Scratch is good for making things that move and interact. Pens and markers are good for drawing, and glue guns and duct tape are good for holding things together. The greater the diversity of materials, the greater the opportunity for creative projects.

4. Embrace all types of making

Different children are interested in different types of making. Some enjoy making houses and castles with LEGO bricks. Some enjoy making games and animations with Scratch. Others enjoy making jewelry or soapbox race cars or desserts—or miniature golf courses.

Writing a poem or a short story is a type of making, too. Children can learn about the creative design process through all of these activities. Help children find the type of making that resonates for them. Even better: Encourage children to engage in multiple types of making. That way, they’ll get an even deeper understanding of the creative design process.

PLAY

5. Emphasize process, not product

Many of the best learning experiences happen when people are actively engaged in making things, but that doesn’t mean we should put all our attention on the things that are made. Even more important is the process through which things are made.

As children work on projects, highlight the process, not just the final product. Ask children about their strategies and their sources of inspiration. Encourage experimentation by honoring failed experiments as much as successful ones. Allocate times for children to share the intermediate stages of their projects and discuss what they plan to do next and why.

6. Extend time for projects

It takes time for children to work on creative projects, especially if they’re constantly tinkering, experimenting and exploring new ideas (as we hope they will). Trying to squeeze projects into the constraints of a standard 50-minute school period — or even a few 50-minute periods over the course of a week — undermines the whole idea of working on projects. It discourages risk taking and experimentation, and it puts a priority on efficiently getting to the “right” answer within the allotted time. For an incremental change, schedule double periods for projects. For a more dramatic change, set aside particular days or weeks (or months) when students work on nothing but projects in school.

SHARE

7. Play the role of matchmaker

Many children want to share ideas and collaborate on projects, but they’re not sure how. You can play the role of matchmaker, helping children find others to work with. In the Scratch online community, we have organized month-long Collab Camps to help Scratchers find others to work with — and also to learn strategies for collaborating effectively.

8. Get involved as a collaborator

Parents and mentors sometimes get too involved in children’s creative projects, telling children what to do or grabbing the keyboard to show them how to fix a problem; other parents and mentors don’t get involved at all. There is a sweet spot in between, where adults and children form true collaborations on projects. When both sides are committed to working together, everyone has a lot to gain.

A great example is Ricarose Roque’s Family Creative Learning initiative, in which parents and children work together on projects at local community centers over five sessions. By the end of the experience, parents and children have new respect for one another’s abilities, and relationships are strengthened.

REFLECT

9. Ask (authentic) questions

It’s great for children to immerse themselves in projects, but it’s also important for them to step back to reflect on what’s happening. You can encourage children to reflect by asking them questions about their projects. I often start by asking: “How did you come up with the idea for this project?” It’s an authentic question: I really want to know! The question prompts them to reflect on what motivated and inspired them.

Another of my favorite questions: “What’s been most surprising to you?” This question pushes them away from just describing the project and toward reflecting on their experience. If something goes wrong with a project, I’ll often ask: “What did you want it to do?” In describing what they were trying to do, they often recognize where they went wrong, without any further input from me.

10. Share your own reflections

Most parents and teachers are reluctant to talk with children about their own thinking processes. Perhaps they don’t want to expose that they’re sometimes confused or unsure in their thinking. But talking with children about your own thinking process is the best gift you could give them.

It’s important for children to know that thinking is hard work for everyone—for adults as well as children. And it’s useful for children to hear your strategies for working on projects and thinking through problems. By hearing your reflections, children will be more open to reflecting on their own thinking, and they’ll have a better model of how to do it. Imagine the children in your life as creative thinking apprentices; you’re helping them learn to become creative thinkers by demonstrating and discussing how you do it.

Melinda

Reference

This article was originally published on the MIT Press Reader site.

Watch Mitch Resnick’s TED Talk here:https://embed.ted.com/talks/mitch_resnick_let_s_teach_kids_to_code

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Mitch Resnick is professor of learning research at the MIT Media Lab. His research group develops the Scratch programming software and online community, the world’s largest coding platform for kids. He has worked closely with the LEGO company on educational ideas and products, such as the LEGO Mindstorms robotics kits, and he co-founded the Computer Clubhouse project, an international network of after-school learning centers for youth from low-income communities. He is the author of “Lifelong Kindergarten,” from which this article is adapted.

Reposted

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Book Review I Can’t Have That, I Have Allergies by Katie Kinsella

 I want to give a special thanks to Managing Editor Soraya Nair for sending me I Can’t Have That I Have Allergies by Katie Kinsella for review. 

Blurb

All the animals in the woodland are headed to a party – that is, except Hedgehog, who can’t attend because of his food allergies. But one of his kind friends, Deer, decides to learn more about his condition, and she comes up with a plan so that Hedgehog can safely celebrate, too!

I Can’t Have That, I Have Allergies is a sensitively written story by a mother whose daughter has life-threatening allergies. It will enlighten those unfamiliar with the severity of such allergies, and it will help children who suffer from them to know that they aren’t alone.

My Thoughts

Have you missed school on a special day? You were probably sad that you could not participate in the fun. The Hedgehog has a similar story, he has severe allergies which limit what he can eat. It’s not fun going to a birthday party and not being able to eat cake.

As each of the Hedgehog’s friends stop in on the way to a birthday party, he explains why he can’t go to the party. His friends go on their way but they have a big surprise for him. They cared so much for their friend, they contacted his mother to get a list of what he can’t eat and they made a cake he could. They show up at Hedgehog’s house and have a big Birthday party which allows the Hedgehog to have fun and not worry about what he can or can’t eat. 

The book does an excellent job of describing Allergies children can understand. I think the bigger picture is when Hedgehog share’s with his friends why he can’t go, they didn’t abandon him, they embraced him instead. It’s important for kids to know they can talk about their problems instead of keeping everything in.

For every parent who has a child with Allergies of any kind, this is the perfect book to show if you share what is going on with your friends they will have your back.

Trigger Publishing

TriggerHub.org is the first mental health organization of its kind. We are bringing mental health recovery and balance to millions of people worldwide through the power of our books.

We have built a first-class resource of curated books produced and published in-house to create a unique collection of mental health recovery titles unrivaled in quality and selection. We work with experts, psychologists, doctors, and coaches to produce our books, but we also work with real people looking to share their stories to reach out to others and provide hope, understanding, and compassion. These brave authors also aim to raise awareness of mental health’s “human” face and its impact on everyday lives. 

Melinda

Looking for the Light

Chronic Illness · Communicating · Family · Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Mental Illness · Moving Forward · Self-Care · Survivor · Trauma

Happy Birthday Daddy 1940-1992

The morning after you killed yourself, we went to secure the house. I knew immediately you suffered slowly. Among the papers, trash, and clothes  and I found your lockbox. The divorce paperwork to my mother, every card I gave you as a child. I found the pad you were writing on. Your Bible on the coffee table, dried tears as you were reading Job in the Bible.

The note had 11:30 a.m. written in the corner. I could see you called your best friend and the phone number to a suicide line. There were words and a drawing that made no sense. Granny paralyzed, crying, asking why. The house ransacked, nothing anything made sense to her.

Dirty dishes piled high, nothing in the refrigerator, how did you live like this, how long? You phoned me several times in the months before your death. Delusional and highly paranoid each time. Someone was tapping your phone, they were trying to get you and the rest I could not understand, you were already gone. As much as I hated you, I cried, begged you not to kill yourself, trying to reason with him that Granny would never be the same. I paid your bills for months. You weren’t in touch with reality.

The outcome will not change if determined. I knew you would take your life and told no-one. I’ve wondered what went through your mind in the hours doodling to writing the note, then killing yourself. I received the call at 10:00 p.m., Gramps said your dad has done away with himself. I called right back to see if you were dead or going to the hospital.

The boxes of cassettes next to your bed, taking months to listen to. You were mentally ill, not under the care of a Psychiatrist, no medications. Your temper went 1-10 in seconds, obnoxious, loud, racist, screaming, out of control.

 

 

You had hit the bottom and I didn’t know because we were estranged,

I’ve experienced being suicidal more than once, God and my husband saved me. If you are thinking about suiside, call your Psychiatrist right away or go to closet hospital, be open with your doctor and follow all medications instructions, these actions may save your life. I’ve stayed in Psychistratic Hospitals multiple times, I had 21 ECT Treatments, and I feel no shame. My mental heath is critical to living a balanced life.

I think of you one day a year.

Melinda

Reposted

Celebrate Life · Chronic Illness · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Chronic Illness and Marriage

When you get married you commit for “better or worse and in sickness and in health”. You don’t think those two things will happen early in your marriage if you think about them at all. Marriage is full of ups and downs, good and bad, and is very hard at times. When you add a chronic illness to the mix it can get complicated. Not every person is ready for the “better or worse, or in sickness and in health”.

Sacrifices are essential to living with someone with a Chronic Illness. There were years where my husband had to fill my medicine case each week, cook every meal, do all the laundry, help me shower, get me dressed, help me in and out of the car, walk me up and down the stairs, the list goes on and on. I haven’t seen the inside of a grocery store in years.

He gave up several hobbies he loved to make sure there was always time to take care of my medical and mental health needs. It comes at a cost to the partner’s mental health. I encouraged him to seek counseling which he did and it helped a great deal.

My husband has been caring for me and my health since we first married. Long before Lyme Disease, an Immune Deficiency Disorder, and Fibromyalgia, there was my Mental Illness to care for. I have Bipolar Disorder, which is a serious Mental Illness that requires constant monitoring and several medications to stay well.

From the very beginning, he had to keep an eye out for signs and symptoms. Ask gently if I had taken my medication and help me deal with my depression when the Black Dog moved in.

One of the things I asked from the very beginning was for him to sit in on my appointments with my Psychiatrist. I wanted him to understand how sick I was and hear it from the doctor, to hear me talk to the doctor. This would prove immensely helpful in the years to come.

One critical step my husband took is put my health before his career, it was a huge guilt trip for me. He passed up promotions and great opportunities to travel so that I would not be home alone. Just last week his boss asked all of the VP’s to lunch and he had to decline due to the rising cases of Omacrom. Ouch, that burns sometimes!

I don’t know what I would have done over the past 23 years without his sacrifices. If you have a chronic illness make sure you are transparent in the struggle and what may be required of them. If a dating relationship can’t withstand that challenge then a marriage certainly won’t.

Melinda

Repost

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Must-Read Non-Fiction for Personal Growth by Guest Blogger Damon Ashworth Psychology

I enjoy reading Damon’s post, he is a great writer, makes complex subject matter easier to read and is a nice guy. Be sure to stop by, read through his archives and be sure to say hello.

Melinda