Self-care is critical to my mental health and I take time every day to take care of myself. It can be as simple as closing my computer and enjoying a candle. At night I have a relaxing routine which consist of laying down at least 45 minutes before bedtime to unwind, slather myself in body cream, use a roller ball with essential oils to use on my pulse points and turn on the ultrasonic diffuser with relaxing essential oil. I meditate to clear and head a shake off the stress and I relaxed come bedtime.
Traveling is exciting, but for pet owners, it may come with some guilt and anxiety about leaving a pet behind. Whether it’s a short weekend trip or a long vacation, leaving your pet can be difficult. But doing this is a great option if you’re worried about your pet not adjusting well to new surroundings. Thankfully, with proper preparation and planning, you can ensure your pet is safe, comfortable, and happy while away. Here are some tips for leaving your pet at home when traveling.
Update your pet’s ID
You may think you have your pet secured indoors before you leave home, but some pets always have a way of sneaking out. So, before setting off, you should ensure your pet is wearing a collar with updated ID information on their tag. This way, you wouldn’t worry too much about your pet not returning home if it gets lost. Updating your pet’s ID tag information gives it a better chance of being returned home when it gets lost.
Leave your pet with someone they know
There are countless reasons why you shouldn’t leave your pet at home alone. A better and safer option is to send them to someone they know. But if you choose to leave them at home, have a friend, family member, or a neighbor your pet knows and recognizes to come around. Better still, leave your pet with them at their home. And be sure to provide some supplies like food, water, waste bags, a pet first aid kit, etc. It’s important to leave your pet with someone they already know or at least someone they see regularly.
Provide your pet sitter with the updated information
After updating your pet’s ID information, be sure to tell your pet sitter if you’re opting for one. Also, please provide them with any other information they need to care for your pet in your absence. For example, what personality does your pet have? Is it quirky? Does it struggle with anxiety? Are there any health issues the pet sitter should know about?
You might also want to allow your pet sitter to meet with your pet several times before you leave. They way, the two will establish a good relationship and get to know each other. That makes it easier for both parties to get along in your absence.
Assess your pet’s needs
Different pets have different personalities. And while some pets do well when left alone, other pets will pretty much get depressed without the presence of their caretakers, especially if it’s a long absence. In general, pets that are used to having a lot of interactions with others may struggle on their own when left alone for longer periods, while pets that prefer isolation will not mind (perhaps not even notice) your absence. Dogs, for example, are very social, with most breeds experiencing separation anxiety when left alone for longer periods. If your dog does not do well alone, consider hiring a dog sitter or enrolling them in a boarding school for dogs. Also, younger pets may not do well alone, compared to older ones, as they still need a lot of interaction.
I’m glad you joined me for another edition of Weekend Music Share this week.
Have a great weekend!
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
Whether you put on your cap and gown last week — or last century — these honest answers can give you some insight and guidance.
“If you don’t know what you want to do with the rest of your life, you’re not a failure. Give yourself time and get yourself experience to figure things out.” — Angela Duckworth (TED Talk: Grit — the power of passion and persistence)
“Although I think I already knew this back when I graduated from college, I didn’t do it enough: trust your instincts. Deep inside you, you already know what you need to do to pursue your goals. And just as importantly, do not seek permission to pursue your goals. Pursue them. Only by doing so can you show the world what you had in mind and get the support of others.” — Alejandro Sánchez Alvarado (TED Talk: To solve old problems, study new species)
“Don’t take yourself, your decisions, your outcomes or even your mistakes so damn seriously. There’s nowhere special to get to and no special accomplishment to check off the list. The moment is now; the place is here; the person is you. Make choices that make you feel alive. But here’s my advice about my advice — I couldn’t have possibly done this myself when I was a new college graduate because I was Wrapped. Way. Too. Tightly. This would have sounded like loosey-goosey hokum to me, and I’d have rolled my eyes and gone back to alphabetizing my soup shelf. Truly, what I wish I’d done differently during the past 20 years is enjoyed the ride and engaged in less hand-wringing over my decisions. I wish I’d trusted myself more, trusted the universe more, trusted the love and support of family and friends more, and realized this: ‘I’m enough, and it’s all going to be great.’ Because it has been marvelous.” — Casey Brown (TED Talk: Know your worth, and then ask for it)
“It’s okay to quit your first job — even if it was really hard to get it, it paid well, and everyone seemed to admire you for getting it. If you hate your job, you’ll be wasting your life acquiring skills, contacts and a reputation that you don’t want to use. The sooner you find something you love, the better.” — Tim Harford (TED Talk: How frustration can make us more creative)
“The world can only thrive when people know what they’re talking about. Find the thingthat makes you want to know what you’re talking about. Then talk about it.” — Ruth Chang (TED Talk: How to make hard choices)
“The advice that I wish I’d gotten when I graduated from college is: Pay attention to the difference between the quick hits of excitement that come from that first kiss of a new relationship or job and those feelings you get when you think about your strong connections with family or friends. Don’t get fooled by shiny things — that shine fades over time, while the gold of strong relationships never tarnishes. Remember the differences between these feelings to help you make decisions as you go forward.” — Judson Brewer (TED Talk: A simple way to break a bad habit)
“1) Your high heels are not too high, even if you are a scientist. Someday, your unusual shoe choice will be just the right height to carry you into prestigious research labs and important business meetings, and help you peer into a wasp nest and discover a microorganism that will change the beer-brewing world. Your heels are just right for your journey. 2) There can be great beauty and great utility in what at first evokes feelings of fear and disgust, so dare to explore. 3) Remember to stop and sniff the microbes. This will probably help you gain perspective, but it will definitely help you discover future microbial technologies.” — Anne Madden (TED Talk: Meet the microscopic life in your home and on your face)
“Regarding relationships of all categories (platonic, romantic, professional, etc.): Don’t let someone take up your emotional real estate if they aren’t paying rent.” — Sarah Kay (TED Talk: If I should have a daughter … )
“Never stop learning. When we graduate college and start our careers, we often understand that we have a lot to learn, so we approach our jobs with a learning orientation. We ask questions; we observe others; we know we may be wrong; and we realize we’re works in progress. But once we gain competence in our jobs, too many of us stop learning and growing. The most successful people — in work and in life — never stop deliberately continuing to learn and improve.” — Eduardo Briceño (TED Talk: How to get better at the things you care about)
“I felt a lot of urgency to ‘do good’ right out of the gate after college, working in nonprofits and government right away. I wish someone had urged me to build my skills instead, so I would have received mentoring on my professional performance and communication early on. Then, when I transitioned into the social good sector, I’d have had a good set of tools and habits to bring with me.” — Jessica Ladd (TED Talk: The reporting system that sexual assault survivors want)
“Graduation is a euphoric moment, but soon after, people often experience withdrawal symptoms. One reason is that your immediately accessible social network has been pulled out from under you, and entering ‘the real world’ means that you lose the effortless social interaction from dorm life, organized clubs and regular parties. Rather than feeling down, be intentional about maintaining and building a social world that brings out your richest self. And, when you hit your lowest points, in addition to turning to your strongest and closest relationships for support, have the courage to widen both your thinking and your networks as well.” — Tanya Menon (TED Talk: The secret to great opportunities? The person you haven’t met yet)
“Look for people’s inner worlds. Imagine their hopes and fears and what it feels like to be them. Seeing into other hearts can make you more effective in achieving personal and professional goals. It may also give you the comfort of remembering how deeply alike we all are.” — Bill Bernat (TED Talk: How to connect with depressed friends)
“I was the first to attend college in my family, so neither my parents nor my siblings could advise me on my graduate school or career plans. I heeded my inner calling and pursued two master’s degrees in information systems at same time, and it all worked out well. Remember: your best academic counselor and career advisor is your heart.” — Navi Radjou (TED Talk: Creative problem solving in the case of extreme limits)
“I know the anxiety-provoking notion that you have to specialize or you will never become successful is weighing heavily on you right now. There’s good news! It just isn’t true. You can do and be many things and still thrive professionally. Over the next ten years, you’ll meet amazing people who are doing all kinds of things, such as a programmer/comedian/author and a filmmaker/teacher/carpenter. It’s OK to be a complex, multifaceted person who doesn’t fit neatly in one box. In fact, it’s actually a lot of fun.” — Emilie Wapnick (TED Talk: Why some of us don’t have one true calling)
“Be less afraid of getting older — way, way less afraid. Our fears are way out of proportion to the reality, and we squander a ridiculous amount of our youth worrying about it.” — Ashton Applewhite (TED Talk: Let’s end ageism)
“Give yourself more time. So many college graduates immediately start wanting to make all their dreams come true at once — this can go wrong in many ways. The first is the frustration that you’re not ‘there’ yet. It’s going to take time to find (or build) your dream career. The second is burnout. If you find your career early, you can find yourself setting all sorts of unrealistic goals with arbitrary deadlines and chase them until you drop from fatigue. You can have it all — but not all at once.” — David Burkus (TED Talk: Why you should know how much your coworkers get paid)
“Whenever possible, get as uncomfortable as possible. Challenge yourself to get outside of your comfort zone regularly — spend time with people you deeply disagree with, read books about experiences you will never have, travel to places where you don’t speak the language, and take jobs in industries you’ve never worked in before. And if you feel yourself resisting, try again. Those experiences will help you build deep empathy, and we could all use more of that.” — Anjali Kumar (TED Talk: My failed mission to find God and what I found instead)
“Surround yourself with people who help you be the best versions of yourself. Avoid those who don’t. And get enough sleep.” —Lisa Feldman Barrett (TED Talk: You aren’t at the mercy of your emotions)
“When I graduated, I wish I’d known the research showing that future success doesn’t lead to happiness. I sometimes got paralyzed by the fear that happiness existed only if I found the perfect job, degree or position. In truth, the research is clear: happiness exists down almost any life path as long as you are grateful for the present, and develop meaningful relationships. Choose optimism and gratitude now and invest more in others, and happiness will be a lifelong advantage as you pursue your dreams.” — Shawn Achor (TED Talk: The happy secret to better work)
“You don’t have to pursue what you studied. I followed my heart, and now I’m happier and more satisfied with life than I could have ever envisioned. We kill ourselves looking for jobs in our fields of study, while there are a million other things we are able to do. I also wish somebody had told me money doesn’t equate to happiness. When you get a job and start working, don’t forget to live.” — Kasiva Mutua (TED Talk: How to use the drum to tell your story)
“You don’t have to do something extraordinary to lead a meaningful life; you don’t have to cure cancer, become an Instagram celebrity, or write the Great American Novel. Freud said that the meaning of life lies in love and work. So: In your relationships, lead with love. Be generous, be vulnerable, give of yourself to others, and don’t do the expedient thing just because it’s more convenient for you. Make the effort to put others first. In your career, find work that makes you proud and adopt a service mindset — remember how what you’re doing helps others, no matter how big or small the impact may be. Touching the life of just a single person is a powerful legacy to leave behind. Finally, make gratitude a part of your daily life; don’t save it for Thanksgiving. Every day, reflect on one or two things that happened to you which you’re grateful for. Not only will it make you happier, but it will also put you in touch with what really matters. Then, when you experience setbacks or hardships, it will also be a good reminder of how blessed you really are.” — Emily Esfahani Smith (TED Talk: There’s more to life than being happy)
“When you finish college and begin your first job or internship, you’ll be keen to learn all you can and impress your employer so you can start on the path to promotions and raises. But the important thing that you might not see amidst all this excitement is the great idea that could someday become a great business or entrepreneurial venture. I’ve found the most interesting employment that life offers is often something of your own creation that you do full time or in addition to your main job. So, after you graduate from college, take the time to identify a venture that you’d like to do by yourself or with friends, and start building it. One day, you’ll be glad you started early.” — Washington Wachira (TED Talk: For the love of birds)
“Move toward the light — toward people, activities, ideas that make you see more, that nourish you. Do this for at least five years. At that point, you can take stock and decide if you need to do some utterly practical, careerist, traditionally ‘wise’ thing. But give yourself a chance to follow your heart and your mind first. The best careers are built by people who have had a breadth of experiences on which to draw. Don’t get anxious if for a while your life seems to be made of a lot of fragments; in time, they will seem like facets of a diamond.” — Sherry Turkle (TED Talk: Connected, but alone?)
“That adage about pursuing things you’re passionate about does eventually pay off. When? No one knows. I suppose that’s why it’s a pursuit.” — David Sengeh (TED Talk: The sore problem of prosthetic limbs)
“It’s traditional at graduation to offer neat, packaged stories of triumph over difficulties. But life isn’t like that — it’s open-ended, subject to a million contingencies and constant change. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make plans. But it does mean you should be alert to all the changes in the world and in yourself that could render your plan suddenly obsolete, unattractive or perverse. Be open to change. Be prepared to experiment. Take risks. Keep learning. Make your life your own.” — Margaret Heffernan (TED Talk: Dare to disagree)
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Rebekah Barnett is the community speaker coordinator at TED, and knows a good flag when she sees
This is not a question I’ve thought about before, I like to keep looking outwards. The favorite thing about myself is the ability to get up after being knocked down, the strenght within has brought me a happy life.
Joint pain is very common during menopause and may be related to lower levels of estrogen. Exercising frequently, eating anti-inflammatory foods, and other actions may help reduce the pain.
If you experience hot flashes, shifts in mood, and joint pain, you’re not alone. These are some of the most common symptoms for people going through menopause.
It’s estimated that more than 50%Trusted Source of women experience arthralgia (joint pain) or arthritis during menopause and, for 21%, either condition is one of the more significant menopausal signs.
Menopausal-related joint pain can be caused by changes in hormonal levels, but other factors may also play a role. There are a variety of home remedies that may help reduce joint pain, and OB-GYN and primary care doctors can also help you decide if you’re a good candidate for hormone replacement therapy (HRT) or other medications.
Language matters
You’ll notice we use the binary term “women” in this article. While we realize this term may not match your gender experience, this is the term used by the researchers whose data was cited. We try to be as specific as possible when reporting on research participants and clinical findings.
Unfortunately, the studies and surveys referenced in this article didn’t report data on, or may not have included, participants who were transgender, nonbinary, gender nonconforming, genderqueer, agender, or genderless.
Estrogen helps to protect joints and reduce inflammation. It also affects the function of muscles, tendons, and ligaments. Having the right balance of estrogen is necessary for ideal joint performance.
The development or progression of arthritis may be another reason for chronic joint pain during menopause. The risk of osteoporosis and osteoarthritis increases during menopause. This increased risk is also likely related to hormone changes.
According to the 2010 research, one of the best ways to treatTrusted Source your menopause-related joint pain may be moving more. Movement and stretching help reduce pain and stiffness. Regular exercise can also help maintain a moderate weight or prevent weight gain that may put added stress on the bones and joints.
Research indicates that women are particularly likely to develop musculoskeletal pain during perimenopause, but the odds of moderate to severe musculoskeletal pain increase with age through postmenopause.
Your joint pain may be chronic, especially if you develop arthritis. HRT may help to improveTrusted Sourcethe outcomes for those with a variety of menopause symptoms, including joint pain. More research into the risks and benefits of this is still ongoing.
Finding support if you have joint pain at menopause
If you’re experiencing joint pain during menopause, you may benefit from talking with any of the following:
The joint pain you experience may not go away even after menopause. You may experience it for the rest of your life, but there are ways to manage the discomfort.
Where is joint pain most common for those with rheumatoid arthritis?
If you have rheumatoid arthritis, you may feel pain in the wrist, fingers, and toes, but you can also experience pain in other areas, including the knees, elbows, ankles, and neck.
What supplements help menopausal joint pain?
Some supplements that people report to improve joint pain include fish oil, collagen hydrolysateTrusted Source, and curcumin (often found in turmeric). A doctor may recommend different supplements, like vitamin D, based on your specific health conditions.
You’re not alone if you experience stiffness, swelling, or shooting joint pain during menopause. Lower estrogen levels may be partially responsible for the discomfort, but a combination of other factors, including arthritis, may also contribute.
If you experience joint pain during menopause, it can help to get regular exercise and eat anti-inflammatory foods. If you experience chronic pain, you may want to talk with a doctor or other healthcare professional about medication options, including HRT.
I’m glad you joined me for another edition of Weekend Music Share this week.
Have a great weekend!
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
May 20, 2019 / Mary Halton + Daryl Chen
Call it green energy — by giving every employee a plant, engineer Mike Robinson created an environment where both humans and their leafy friends thrive. Plus, 9 recommendations for hardy, hard-to-kill plants to call your own.
This post is part of TED’s “How to Be a Better Human” series, each of which contains a piece of helpful advice from someone in the TED community; browse through all the posts here.Besides a paycheck and reasonable hours, what else does a person need to thrive at work? Decent space, adequate supplies and tools? Yes. Lunch breaks, sick days, time off to recharge? Sure. A plant? Well …
Such an idea had never occurred to engineer Mike Robinson. He owns a small company based in British Columbia, Canada, that designs and builds windbreaks and other control structures. One day, his wife, Suzanne, who runs the company with him, said: “I think we should give every person in the office a plant for their desk.”
Robinson was skeptical. He thought that plants would be distracting and a drain on people’s time. “The average staff member would probably spend about five minutes a day either looking after the plant or admiring it,” as he puts it in a TEDxWhiteRock talk. Upon his wife’s insistence, however, he agreed to give it a try.
He and Suzanne bought 20 plants for their 20 employees. Then, they did something a bit different. Instead of handing them out, they asked each employee to approach the tableful of plants and choose their own — but from the perspective of the plant.
Think of it like a human-plant speed-date. Robinson explains, “So you have to put yourself in the spot of the plant, as it were, and say, ‘Which person do I want to be my new friend?’” Employees then received a small sign on which they wrote ‘My friend is …’ and their own name, stuck it in the soil, and brought it into their personal workspace.
Over time, Robinson realized that the plants were having a positive impact. He says, “I did my own mathematics, and I reckoned that we might be doing about 30 percent more business per staff [member].” Of course, this is far from a scientific study. There’s no control group or double-blind — just a company filled with happy plant lovers excelling at their jobs. And maybe that’s enough.
Another sign that something is going right: After 5 years, not a single plant has died. Robinson guesses that since each was hand-selected and bears the employee’s name on the label, they’re well-tended because “this is your friend and you care about your friend.” As he explains, “Our office is a more contented place, a relaxed place, and a place that I’m proud to be to be a part of, and a big part of that is the personal plant.”
But what plant is right for your desk? Perhaps you’ve gotten one and felt the warm glow of human-plant friendship — only to see it wither before your eyes. We asked Rebecca Bullene, New York City horticulturist, cofounder of Greenery Unlimited and the person who designed and tends the greenery at the TED NYC offices, to recommend hardy plants for different light conditions. Note: Almost all of these plants are available in desktop sizes, but if you want them to stay that way, you will need to prune them.
Plants for low light
Sansevieria plant, or snake plant: “They’re an architectural plant; I usually use them in spaces that have a more modern aesthetic,” says Bullene.
ZZ plant, or emerald palm: “This plant has very deep glossy leaves and a kind of two-tone coloring. It’s a softer plant.”
Aglaonema, or Chinese evergreen: “It has very beautiful patterning on the leaves, and it’s a larger-leafed plant. It is a welcoming plant.”
Plants for medium-light
Monstera deliciosa, or Swiss cheese plant: “It’s a fabulous name for a fabulous plant. The leaves have a really interesting texture, and this plant is a fast grower.”
Schefflera arboricola: “it’s very cute. It’s one of my favorites, and it’s easy to take care of.”
Anthurium, or laceleaf plant: “This is one of my favorite flowering plants. I prefer them to orchids because orchids can be difficult to care for and their blooms only last for about six weeks, whereas the anthurium puts up new flowers year-round.”
Plants for high light
Ficus audrey, or banyan fig: “While the fiddle-leaf fig is the most popular ficus, the ficus audrey is gaining. I think it’s just as beautiful, if not more so. It has very velvety leaves, and its growth habit is more restrained.”
Philodendron selloum, or philodendron hope selloum: “This was popular in the 1970s and the 1980s and fell out of favor, but it’s having a resurgence now. These plants have large tropical leaves with really deep cuts in them and a lovely, ruffle-like texture. This is not one that you’d have on your desk — it’s large — but next to it.”
Succulent plants, such as aloe vera, pincushion or zebra plant: “These are very popular right now. They’re best on a sunny windowsill rather than away from natural light. Most need water every 7 to 10 days, but touch the soil first — if it’s damp, don’t water it. They really like to dry out between waterings.”
Echeveria: “This is a flowering succulent that’s good in high light. They put out these long stems with bell-shaped flowers.”
But what if you’re in a space that has no windows or a window facing a stairwell? “The sansevieria and aglaonema can survive in a room with no windows, although they won’t flourish. But people without natural light should known that grow lights have come far in the past three years,” says Bullene. “They screw into any fixture and they provide the same kind of light to work by, but they’re actually introducing a full spectrum of light for plants. I’ve seen plants respond really well to them.” One brand that she’s had good results with is Sansi.
What about air plants? “These generally require more care and attention than people are willing to give. When I’ve gone into a store and the sales people are like, ‘Oh, you don’t need to do anything with them,’ it breaks my heart,” says Bullene. “One of the fundamentals of plant care is to think about a plant’s native habitat and how to recreate it so the plant will be happy. Air plants grow in extremely high humidity environments that are full of life; they get their nutrients from the air.” She recommends either putting them near a humidifier (and misting them regularly) or soaking them for 20 minutes at a time in a bowl of water. Air plants like bright, indirect light.
Last but not least: Don’t overwater. “There’s a direct proportional relationship between light and water. The less light a plant gets, the less water it should receive; the more light, the more water,” explains Bullene. “Often, people think they should water every day, and that’s the kiss of death. In a low light environment, you should water plants every 10 days or so.“
What’s confusing is the signs of overwatering and underwatering are largely the same — yellow leaves, wilting — and most of us respond by adding water. Says Bullene, “I’d say 80 percent of the time plants are receiving too much water, and the correct response would be to withhold it for a little bit longer.”
Watch Mike Robinson’s TEDxWhiteRock talk now:
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Mary Halton is Assistant Ideas Editor at TED, and a science journalist based in the Pacific Northwest.
Daryl Chen is the Ideas Editor at TED.
Melinda
Repost
A lot of everyday tasks benefit from a combination of relaxation and focus. Driving is possibly the most obvious example of this. At a minimum, getting this balance right can help to avoid negative consequences. For example, you won’t have to file a car accident claim. At best, it can really boost your performance. With that in mind, here are three tips to help.
Clear your mind before you begin
What this means in practice will depend on the situation. Ideally, you’ll resolve any troubling issues before you begin your task. In the real world, sadly, that’s not always going to be possible. What you can do, however, is offload them and commit to dealing with them later.
What this means in practice will depend on you. For example, you might get the most release from just speaking your thoughts into a voice recorder (most cellphones have one). Alternatively, you may prefer offloading your thoughts onto paper. This doesn’t have to mean writing. It can also mean drawing or doodling.
This may be enough to clear the mental/emotional block from your system. If it doesn’t, however, remember to commit to addressing it later.
Make sure you’ve taken care of your body
If you want to achieve and maintain relaxed focus, then your body needs to support that. For example, you want to be comfortably full and properly hydrated. Be aware that even milder chemicals may disrupt either your relaxation or concentration. Alcohol and caffeine are obvious culprits here.
Be aware that medication (or withdrawal from medication) can also cause issues. If it does, try speaking to your doctor. They may be able to switch your medication or give advice on how to minimize the effects of withdrawal from it.
Another important point to note is that temperature can play a huge role in your ability to achieve and maintain relaxed focus. Ideally, you should control the ambient temperature to keep it pleasant. You may, however, find it useful to have a way to add extra heating/cooling where and when you need it.
Get the right stimulation
The right stimulation keeps you relaxed but helps you to maintain alertness. Most tasks require you to use your eyes and hands. That leaves your ears, nose, and mouth potentially free. Audio stimulation can be massively helpful. You do, however, need to be slightly careful with it.
Firstly, spoken-word audio, including songs, can overload your brain. When you need to focus, it’s often better to stick to music without lyrics or even just ambient sounds. Secondly, you need to think about your hearing. If you listen to the audio a lot, invest in a quality pair of headphones. Ideally, use ones that go over the ear.
Stimulating your sense of smell can have a very powerful effect on your mind. One useful point to note, however, is that the effect of a scent becomes less powerful over time. This isn’t just the scent fading, it’s the brain tuning it out. You can, however, use different scents to keep your brain engaged.
Last but not least, remember the power of taste. Some foods can also help to get your brain moving. Citrus fruits and mints are often particularly good for this.
The lack of finances is a major source of worry for many people. Therefore, when there are not enough funds available for meeting your needs or in your savings, you’re more than likely to become anxious, Unfortunately, with most Americans having less than $1,000 stashed away as their savings, this problem is a pretty pervasive one. However, just because this is the norm doesn’t mean that it should be the same for you. With the right strategies, you can actually save more, thus lessening your worries and anxieties in the process.
Cut Down Bloated Financial Expenses
Take a critical look at your expenses and see where you can cut them down. The easiest way to do this is to start tracking every cent you spend. Do this for a month or two and see what expenses are important and those that aren’t.
Then, create a budget based on those important expenses and save the rest. You’ll find that when you limit yourself to a budget and stick to it, you can make it work, regardless of your previous spending habits.
It may not seem like a lot at first, but it does add up over time. We’ve seen families go from having less than $500 in their savings to $6,000 in savings in one year by just cutting their expenses. Interestingly, they were still quite comfortable and didn’t miss those things they cut out of their budget.
Reconsider Your Housing Situation
This is a tricky one considering that you need a place to live. But if you’re spending more than half of your paycheck on housing –whether mortgage or rent- you might want to consider downsizing to something more affordable until you can afford your ideal home and use the extra funds for something else.
For instance, some people have been known to switch to manufactured homes. If you do a quick search using the mobile homes for sale search phrase, you’ll find many affordable options that are available to you. If mobile homes aren’t an appealing option, try moving to a cheaper or smaller home. Or you can seek cheaper mortgage payments for your home.
Save Unexpected Income
Most people tend to immediately send money that they didn’t expect. Yet, when you think about it, the very fact that those funds were unexpected means that they can actually live without spending those funds.
Whether the money is in the form of a bonus, cash gifts, or extra commission, determine to put that money aside immediately it comes in. Do this a few times and you’ll soon see your savings grow.
Lower Your Energy Bills
Energy consumption and utility bills are often a sizable part of the average monthly expense. So, it makes sense that if you can cut down on how much you pay for your utilities –particularly during the summer and winter months- you could save some more money.
Some things that you can do to lower your energy bills include changing your bulbs to energy saver bulbs, using energy-efficient HVAC systems, not leaving the heater or AC on in rooms that are unoccupied, and much more.
When I was much younger, having a good life meant money and material things but those things did not make my life a good one. After turning 40 years old, I realized what is most important to me. Family tops the list followed by being kind, trustworthy, follow through on commitments, and being grateful for what I have.
I’m glad you joined me for another edition of Weekend Music Share this week.
Have a great weekend!
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
Mental health includes your psychological and social well-being. It also encompasses your emotional health, which refers to your ability to name, address, and regulate your emotions.
You might notice discussions about mental health online, in conversation with family or friends, on your favorite show, or in any number of other places.
But what exactly is mental health?
“Mental health is about the functionality of your brain and all that impacts it,” said Oludara Adeeyo, a psychiatric social worker and author of “Self-Care for Black Women.”
Many factors play a part in mental health, some of which you can’t control, such as genetics, life experiences, and family history.
But you do have influence over other important aspects of your mental health, noted KC Davis, a licensed professional counselor and author of “How To Keep House While Drowning.”
Your ability to influence your mental health is key because the state of your mental health matters.
Mental health helps determine how you handle stress, relate to others, and make choices, explained Alison Seponara, a licensed professional counselor and author of the book “The Anxiety Healer’s Guide.”
Seponara goes on to say that caring for your mental health can lead to:
Nurturing your mental health can also help you manage health conditions that are worsened by stress, like heart disease, said Seponara.
Your mental health can impact everything about your life, Adeeyo said, including the ways you view and move through the world and your ability to handle the things life throws at you.
That’s why building habits for better mental health can make a big difference in your day-to-day life.
PRO TIP
As you explore new behaviors and begin incorporating them into your routine, aim to frame these changes as self-kindness, not self-punishment. Maintaining a gentle, kind attitude toward yourself can do a lot more to improve your mental health and overall outlook than criticism and negative self-talk.
“Work on your mental health from a place of care,” Davis recommended.
Not sure where to start? You’ll find 8 strategies to promote improved mental health below, along with some guidance on seeking professional support.
Mental health concerns can also lead to poor sleep, which means changes to your sleep environment and nighttime routine might not make a lasting difference. If you don’t notice much improvement after trying these strategies, connecting with a therapist may be a helpful next step.
“Constantly consuming information about other people’s lives may cause someone to compare themselves and promote feelings of low self-worth, which increases feelings of anxiety and depression,” said Adeeyo.
To spend less time on social media, try to:
keep your phone in a drawer or outside your bedroom while you’re in bed
make a list of other, more meaningful activities to replace your usual scrolling sessions
turn off notifications or delete social apps from your phone
helping you manage symptoms of depression and anxiety conditions
Movement can involve something different for every person, and it doesn’t have to mean going to the gym if that’s not your thing. Instead, make movement enjoyable for you by opting for physical activities that work best for your body, health, and preferences.
To get started, experiment with a range of physical activities, and keep doing the ones that resonate with you.
going on a weekend family hike or walk along the beach
In other words, you don’t have to do a vigorous workout to support mental wellness.
“Taking a few minutes to stretch can make a huge difference for your overall mental health. Stretching will help with blood flow and get more oxygen through your body, which can help you feel more relaxed and happy,” said Christopher S. Taylor, PhD, LPC-S, founder of Taylor Counseling Group, author of “My Digital Practice,” and host of the “For Self-Examination” podcast.
Certain foods can also affect your mental health. To support improved mental health, try expanding your current diet to include foods packed with mood-boosting nutrients like:
berries
bananas
beans
whole grains
fatty fish, like salmon
It can also help to simply make sure you fuel your body every day — eating something is better than eating nothing.
Drinking plenty of water throughout the day is also beneficial.
“When you’re dehydrated, you’re denying your brain and body the nutrients needed to survive and operate at a more optimal level,” Adeeyo noted.
Certain foods, namely alcohol, caffeine, refined carbs, and added sugars, may worsen anxiety symptoms. Limiting these foods could help ease some of your symptoms.
On difficult days, you might find it tough to do any of the above, which might make you feel even worse.
At times like these, Davis encouraged turning to compassionate, more accessible strategies, like:
giving yourself permission to stay in and rest
engaging in breath work even if it’s just for a few minutes
taking a bath or a long, hot shower
buying a nutritious prepackaged meal when cooking anything feels close to impossible
A similar approach you can try? Commit to taking one small step every day.
“Whether it’s making your bed, drinking one glass of water in the morning, or writing in a journal, making this daily promise to yourself will help to eventually become a habit, and you will begin to feel empowered,” Seponara explained.
The strategies above can help improve mental well-being, but they can’t “cure” any mental health conditions.
To put it another way, making changes in your habits may not always relieve persistent mental distress. Working with a therapist, however, can be a particularly powerful way to improve mental health.
You can consider professional support at any time. You don’t need to have depression, anxiety, or any specific mental health symptoms to benefit from therapy.
That said, reaching out becomes particularly important if you:
Your mental health plays a key role in your quality of life. Many of the factors that can affect mental health remain beyond your control, but adding beneficial habits to your days can promote greater wellness.
Just know that when it comes to adopting new habits, it’s generally more helpful to start with only one or two at a time, instead of a complete overhaul. Then, check in with yourself to take stock of how those changes helped.
Memory loss is very common in elderly people and even if they do not develop a serious condition like Alzheimer’s or dementia, it is likely that they will forget things from time to time. In some cases, this doesn’t really affect their life too much but it can make it difficult for them to live independently if they forget important things, like taking medication or eating.
As we get older, it falls to us to care for elderly loved ones, and managing memory issues is often a big part of this. If you want them to be able to live independently, you need to find ways to help them manage their memory problems so they can be safe and comfortable. Here’s how you can support an elderly family member with memory problems.
Be Realistic About The Scale Of The Problem
Often, it can be hard to admit that your loved ones are losing their memory and so people are in denial about it. They just put it down to age and say that it’s not that serious, they’re just forgetting a few details here and there. However, if somebody in your life is suffering from Alzheimer’s or dementia, they need a lot of care and assistance if they are able to live safely. So, be realistic about the situation and if you are concerned, take them to the doctor to get checked. You may need to consider long-term care options like a senior community with a dedicated memory care service. If you are not honest with yourself and your family about the scale of the problem, you could be putting your loved ones in danger.
Be Understanding
Memory loss is very frustrating and when they forget things, they may get angry about it. If they forget something very important, it could be frustrating for you too. But if you are not understanding the situation, it only makes things worse. It’s important that you are patient with them and you reassure them that you forget things too and it’s ok. The more understanding you are, the less stressful this situation will be for them.
Write Lists
Lists are the easiest way to remember things, so when you visit loved ones, talk to them about their schedule for the next few days and then write some simple lists to help them remember things. Sticky notes around the house can be very helpful too. For example, if they need to take medication, put a small note somewhere they will see when they get up, so they always remember. If they have a smartphone and they are comfortable using it, you can add reminders to it as well.
Help Them Keep Their Brain Active
Keeping your brain active is so important as you get older and it helps to slow and prevent memory loss. If you are concerned about a loved one’s memory, you should find ways to keep their brain active as much as possible. Helping them to be more socially active is very beneficial, and you could encourage them to do puzzles and play games too.
Dealing with memory loss is tough but it’s something that many of us will experience. If you follow these steps, you can support a loved one with memory loss.
Statistics indicate that juvenile crimes increase by 35% in the summer months. As if that’s not bad enough, the ever-present allure of screens means that the average teen now spends over seven hours a day behind electronic devices during summer. These alarming statistics make parents wonder how to engage their kids during those long, hot months. If you’re a worried parent, here are four ways to keep your teenager busy during summer.
A study revealed that summer jobs can reduce teen crime by 43%. Therefore, a part-time job is an excellent way to keep your teenager busy. It equips them with many useful skills while keeping them away from trouble. Moreover, a paid part-time job will teach them about financial management at a very early age. They can learn how to save money, buy basic things, and be independent. The right job will teach your child how to work with people and manage their time. Plus, the skills they acquire will stick with them for life.
Explore artistic and creative outlets
Summer break provides an ideal opportunity for teenagers to explore their creative sides and develop new skills. You can encourage your teenager to pursue artistic activities after getting a job. Depending on their time, your teen can combine their job with a creative activity. Consider enrolling your child in a summer art class, a creative writing workshop, or a music class. These activities keep them occupied and foster self-expression, boost confidence, and provide a platform for personal growth. And believe it or not, allowing your teen to explore their artistic side can create a healthy outlet for stress and improve their emotional well-being.
Encourage volunteering and community service
Giving back to communities through volunteering is one of the most emotionally-rewarding ways for a teenager to spend summer. Some studies have shown that volunteering instills a sense of responsibility and empathy while enhancing self-esteem and personal growth. It also gives them a sense of purpose, even at a very young age. So, encourage your teenager to identify causes they are passionate about and connect with local organizations that offer volunteer opportunities. From environmental cleanup projects and community service to volunteering at a local shelter, these activities will keep your teenager busy and contribute to their development.
Let them join a local club or group for teens
Depending on where you live, it shouldn’t be too difficult to find a positive local club or youth group for your teenager. You can find a scouting club, an academic, agricultural, or faith-based group for your teenager to join. Regarding a faith-based group, for example, your teenager can join a local church group for teens or youth, created to nurture spiritual growth, faith, morality, and good behavior. Of course, some religious institutions have a bad rap for sexual misconduct and abuse, so conduct a background check before signing up your child. And should the worse happen, don’t hesitate to let a religious institution sexual abuse lawyer help you.
I was kindly gifted an advanced copy of Finding Joy with an Invisible Chronic Illness, Proven Strategies for Discovering Happiness, Meaning, and Fulfillment by Christopher Martin from NetGallery for a review.
Published 2021
I am a school psychologist, husband, father, and – pertinent to this website – an author who has multiple invisible chronic illnesses.
And an invisible chronic illness is a beast. On top of draining you physically, a chronic illness can impact all aspects of your life ranging from causing financial hardship to harming your relationships to dampening your spirits. Try to be cheerful when you have this unremitting “monkey on your back” known as an invisible chronic illness that constantly demands your attention 24-7. Needless to say, it’s easy to let yourself and others down.
Plus, your family or friends can’t see your illness, as it’s invisible, and they may not understand. Most with an invisible illness are familiar with “advice” ranging from “stay positive” to “you look good” to “Have you tried ___ for your condition?” Yup, you probably have, and it didn’t work.
On top of that, best wishes in accessing (and maintaining) high quality medical care when you are too tired to even take care of yourself.
Welcome to the world of an invisible chronic illness. I should know. I suffer from multiple invisible chronic illnesses, including a primary immune deficiency disorder and bronchiectasis.
But it doesn’t have to be this way – for you or for me. While I am not cured of my illness, I enjoy a fulfilling life and experience ongoing joy, peace, and happiness. Because of outstanding medical care, extensive self-educating and self-care, a supportive family, and a strong faith, I effectively manage my chronic illnesses. But I didn’t want to be the only one to benefit. It was my goal, in turn, to give back to others by doing what I love to do: authoring books on these conditions.
Blurb
“Finding Joy is a vital guide on how to best manage and navigate life with a chronic illness.”—James Nestor, New York Times bestselling author of Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art
“Finding Joy provides a comprehensive, evidence-based roadmap for not only coping with chronic illness, but personally optimizing self-growth and resiliency from the experience.” —Joanne Joseph, PhD, professor of psychology and interim dean of the College of Health Sciences, SUNY Polytechnic Institute, and author of The Resilient Child: Preparing Today’s Youth for Tomorrow’s World
* How can you experience those good thoughts and feelings, enjoy life to its fullest, and de-stress when faced with relentless physical suffering?
* How can you enhance your relationships, find support, respond to the naysayers, and possibly even help them understand you and your illness?
* When seeking medical care, how can you get the answers you deserve, and access and maintain quality healthcare?
Early Reviews
“”Finding Joy is absolutely phenomenal. Chris Martin’s heartfelt approach offers numerous meaningful strategies to thrive when faced with the many unseen and unrecognized issues of living with an invisible chronic illness.””—Heather Lewis-Hoover, MS, CAS, school counselor
““Finding Joy is a vital guide on how to best manage and navigate life with a chronic illness.””—James Nestor, New York Times bestselling author of Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art
“Finding Joy provides a comprehensive, evidence-based roadmap for not only coping with chronic illness, but personally optimizing self-growth and resiliency from the experience.” —Joanne Joseph, PhD, professor of psychology and interim dean of the College of Health Sciences, SUNY Polytechnic Institute, and author of The Resilient Child: Preparing Today’s Youth for Tomorrow’s World
My Thoughts
I think Chris says it best, the diagnosis is a step forward, it’s not the last.
Finding Joy with an Invisible Chronic Illness is a great find, one for all to read, patients, loved ones, and, family members. It is a simple and practical approach to taking control by understanding how we think and what we have control over when it comes to our chronic condition and healthcare treatment.
I’m glad you joined me for another edition of Weekend Music Share this week.
Have a great weekend!
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
Years ago my father’s roommate committed suicide in his bedroom. The signs were clear but my father had no idea. The roommate woke up one morning and mowed the yard, cleaned the house, he returned everything he had borrowed including money owed. He then went to his bedroom and didn’t come out for hours. For reasons unknown to me my father went to check on his gun and it was missing. He knocked on the door repeatedly with no answer. Growing concerned he called the police, the moment the police breached the door the gun went off.
Being familiar with the signs that someone may be in a mental health crisis may save their life, the key is understanding the signs and knowing how to approach the conversations. This is not an easy task and often you will not be let in. That should not stop us from trying. This is a very fragile time and it takes great empathy, patience, and understanding to help someone in crisis. This is not a short-term, wham-bang fix and doesn’t involve your ego.
These are warning signs shared by The National Institute of Mental Health.
Fibromyalgia Awareness Month is important to me because I have it and know others that do. One of the biggest challenges Fibromyalgia patients face is there are so many different symptoms and they mimic other illnesses. That’s one reason it can years to get a proper diagnosis.
Why National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day?
Fibromyalgia is a chronic, complicated disease that affects millions of men and women throughout the world. A musculoskeletal illness produces widespread severe pain with symptoms like increased skin sensitivity, muscular rigidity, difficulty sleeping, memory and attention problems, excessive weariness, and headaches.
It is a challenging condition to identify because there isn’t a single test that can detect and treat it, and the symptoms get frequently misdiagnosed as attributed to other illnesses. Many people feel that the condition is psychological and not genuine due to a lack of research and the difficulties in defining the variables that cause it. Furthermore, there is no permanent relief for the suffering.
As a result, the keys to combating Fibromyalgia are awareness and financing. The goal of this day is to raise awareness about the condition and to encourage further research into finding a cure. The day’s observances greatly minimize the level of threat and the likelihood of being afflicted. When we try to learn more about a disorder like fibromyalgia, we realize just how far we’ve come in terms of innovation and advancement. Observing National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day allows us to reflect on our accomplishments.
Thoughts
Another huge challenge of having Fibromyalgia is it’s invisible, you don’t look sick unless you’re having your worst day. Most of the time you look fine and that is where the misunderstanding about the illness starts with friends and family. You can’t predict how you’ll feel tomorrow let alone next week, so you make plans, only to have a flair day and can’t get out of bed or can’t think straight and have to cancel your plans.
When people think you look fine and you’re not they can take it personally, that’s why it is important to share the basics of the illness and tell them that when you have to cancel on short notice it has nothing to do with them or not wanting to see them.
One suggestion for those newly diagnosed is to take your loved one or family member to a doctor’s appointment. This made a huge difference for me with my mental illness. My husband got to hear everything from the doctor’s mouth and got a better understanding of what I was dealing with. We also tell our doctor symptoms we don’t talk about every day and this is another time your loved one can understand all the ways Fibromyalgia affects your life.
Another way you can help is to participate in a Clinical Trial for Fibromyalgia, Keep your eyes open for news about trials in your area. It’s always possible you’ll get a drug that helps you in some way vs a placebo. It’s a 50% chance. The key is to understand the risks and or interactions with your other medications.
Go easy on yourself. If the house isn’t as clean as you’d like, don’t worry about it. Work a little at a time or call a house cleaning service if you can.
I’m glad you joined me for another edition of Weekend Music Share this week.
Have a great weekend!
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
lookingforthelight.blog 