Celebrate Life · Chronic Illness · Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward

Mental Health Resources In America

Mental Health Resources

NIMH.NIH.gov

ADDitude Magazine

CHADD.org

ADD.org

New Method Wellness

Addiction Rehab Treatment

Addiction Group.org

D’Amore Mental Health

Addiction Rehab Treatment.com/mental-health/depression/ 

Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance

International Bipolar Foundation

Mental Health America

MentalHealth.gov

National Institute of Mental Health

National Institute on Aging

National SuicidePreventionLifeline.org
1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Press 1, Veterans Crisis Line USA
Press 2, Se Habla Español
LifeLine Chat

CrisisTextLine.org
Text 741-741
Facebook.com/CrisisTextLine

IMAlive.org Crisis Chat

TheTrevorProject.org (LGBTQ Youth)
1-866-488-7386 (24/7/365)
TrevorChat (7 days/week from 3PM–10PM ET / noon–3PM PT)
TrevorText — text START to 678-678 (Mon–Fri, 3PM–10PM ET / noon–3PM PT)

VeteransCrisisLine.net

Brain & Behavior Research Foundation (BBRFoundation.org): Awards grants for scientific research. Keep up to date on latest research

International Bipolar Foundation (IBPF.org): Bipolar research. Care and support resources for individuals and caregivers. Erase stigma through education.

MentalHealth.gov: US government mental health resources and information.

MentalHealthAmerica.net (MHA): Address needs of those living with mental illness. Promote mental health.

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI.org): Build better lives for the millions of Americans affected by mental illness.

National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH.nih.gov): Federal agency for research on mental disorders.

NeedyMeds.org1-800-503-6897. Educates and empowers those seeking affordable healthcare.

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA.gov): Reduce the impact of substance abuse and mental illness on America’s communities.

To see the complete list of resources click here.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Chronic Illness · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Illness · Moving Forward

Looking For Answers

feeling down

looking for answers

nowhere to go

no joy or fun

waiting for things to change

grey skies every day

know there is hope

the sun will shine

I am blessed

Melinda

 

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward

Stop Your Money Worries From Overwhelming You

Money can be one of the worst things for making you worry; indeed, a lot of people can feel like their mental well-being has been effectively ruined by their financial insecurity. It’s a very serious thing – almost half of the people currently in debt also report having mental health issues. 

If that also sounds like you, being able to take more control over your finances is key to achieving greater peace and stability in your lifestyle. Of course, learning to live with and/or manage your money worries is only part of the solution, but it’s essential to do. But don’t worry, you don’t have to take this challenge on alone – here are some tips for stopping your money worries from overwhelming you. 

Pexels Image – CC0 Licence

Stay Aware

Don’t ever let your finances go unchecked; face your fears and confront the problem head-on by keeping up with how your bank account, credit scores, and any other financial platforms you’re a part of our functioning. 

Because when you’re aware, you’re in control. You’re able to face the problem and prevent it from becoming a bigger problem before it ever gets the chance. And you can make this easy for yourself. For example, if you’ve got car insurance to pay for, be sure to make it easy to check in by using something like a direct auto insurance account to keep up to date straight from your phone. 

Be Realistic

The next step is to be realistic, which can be a hard thing when you’re finding it very hard to face the reality of your finances. However, when you’re realistic, you’ll be able to put together a workable budget, that allows you to take care of yourself and pay for any debt and other financial obligations you have. 

Start with your income, and then take away your expenses, both fixed and variable. If this all fluctuates, use a monthly average. Whatever you’ve left over is what you can put towards those credit card bills, and use to bump up your credit score bit by bit. Even just a couple of regular debt payments can turn it green again. 

Don’t Let Yourself Be Alone

Finally, if you’re someone who has serious money worries, don’t let yourself be alone in facing them. Talk to friends and family about them, or work with a professional such as an advisor, who could help you to see the light in your struggles. 

Most of all, make sure you feel supported, and like you’ve got some strength behind you. Even if you need someone to be there with you when you check your bank account for the first time in months, ask someone to come round and sit with you. It could really change how you see your finances. 

Money worries can be overwhelming, at their worst. Be sure to reach out for help, and always try to face your fears, as you have the power to take control of a problem like this.

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

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Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward

Just Pondering

Hi, I’m glad you stopped by and I look forward to seeing you soon. 

“i would rather be the one who loves too much than not enough. who laughs too loud than hide behind a closed mouth grin. who rambles on about the universe. The ache in heart. or how the sound of rain still reminds me of the times we ran through it; skin drenched but happy. i would rather learn the hard way. take the narrow road. reminisce awhile longer, stop to smell a flower in bloom. i would rather grow wise with endurance than give up and grow bitter. i would rather aim high and know I tried than shoot low and be praised for settling. i would rather live a simple life than a fabricated one. and may I always remember this. my soul will only ever be as beautiful as the lowliest person I’ve carried.”
Ullie-Kaye
Melinda

 

Celebrate Life · Family · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Moving Forward

Good Times On Highway To Hell *Part 2*

Childhood antics that landed my brother and me in trouble. 

Second Birthday

I have to start with my favorite story, you’ll get a better idea of who I am. At recess, in third grade, I told the teacher I HAD to go to the bathroom. No, go back and play. Back to teacher a few minutes later I HAVE TO GO! You’re just saying that go play. I begged the teacher to let me go a few minutes later, NO. I said okay and popped my pants right in front of her. And that ended the life of my favorite purple elephant bell bottom suit.

Gramps stopped to pick up bread leaving us in-car, I may have been seven. The car was a standard on the column, I was playing like Gramps driving and somehow got the car in neutral. We were rolling out onto a major street. I hopped out trying to get the car to stop, luckily a man stopped to help about the time Gramps rounded the corner. He was in shock, we didn’t get a switch.

My youngest brother was playing on the sidewalk in front of a girl’s house. They were laughing loudly and screaming. The family owned a Saint Bernard which was protective of the girl. The dog jumped the fence, grabbed my brother by the back slinging him side to side. My older brother grabbed a two-by-four, hitting the dog many times, it would not let go and it turned to bite his arm.

We got a new puppy, and the kids were so in love. So much in love, all four kids woke up in the night a fed the dog a piece of bologna. Made the dog so sick.

My girlfriend’s yard had a slope where we would lie down and throw apples at cars until a man got out a threatened us.

My stepfather really loved boating, the problem was he knew nothing about boats. Our speed boat couldn’t pull up a skier, our houseboat was so huge he had to call a tow truck to get out of the lake.

There was a small drainage ditch in the neighborhood where we would fish for crayfish. If we caught enough, we would fry them up, yummy. I hate to think of what was in the water.

M

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Celebrate Life · Family · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Moving Forward

Good Times On Highway To Hell Part 1

My name is Miss Trouble

Miss Trouble at six years old.

My brother was my best friend and I have hundreds of great memories. I laugh thinking how we came up with some of our adventures. Looking at the worst years of my life and finding happiness is liberating. These memories made my life feel normal. Some are a chuckle, others a belly roll, and most are just things kids do. I was often the mastermind, no time to waste. I hope it will brighten your day. Maybe spark some memories of your own.

We put sheets and blankets over our double-long clothesline making tepees to hide in. We could get a good thirty minutes of fun before having to look for real fun/trouble. Our dog Sandy got in on the action by pulling the tepees down.

While preparing my stepfather’s house for sale. My mother had finished moping the floor. With no thought on our part, we put pop tarts in our soda and they blew all over the newly mopped kitchen.

My brother was checking out a new Christmas BB Gun and shot me in the leg.

We always fought over who got to lick the cake icing bowl.

My Favorite We didn’t know why but our grandma was babysitting that day. Beyond bored, we start walking down the alley. My brother finds a bag of rotting potatoes, perfect for trouble-making. Our neighbors had a pool and were not home, we threw potatoes in the pool, and a dog bowl, on the house and back door. Little did we know our grandma was looking out the kitchen window watching us. We came into the house like nothing new. We had to wait until neighbors got home, apologize for what we’d done, and clean up the mess. It was nasty to clean but it was worth it.

Popping Bubble Wrap was a huge treat, we would fight over who got the bigger piece, We would lay in the front yard watching the stars popping our bubbles.

I would take Turtle Wax from the garage and mix in a little dirt to see how fast it would eat through a pie pan. Dixie cups melted quickly but pie pans took longer. It was difficult to explain the stains on the picnic table.

I never wore shoes unless forced. My grandfather came over and I was my usual jumping-around self. Looking at the flowers of the weeds in our yard. I enjoyed the simple things. Then I let out a scream, I stepped on a Bubble Bee. My grandfather said “Pud” you’ll be okay. I wandered off to find the bee. It was so pretty and I’d never seen that kind of bee. My grandfather called me “Pud” all my life, my guess is that it was an old people’s term of endearment.

At 4-5 years old, I was across the street playing and my mother started yelling there’s a tornado coming. I didn’t hear her so went to the middle of the street to see what was so important. A tornado is coming get in the house now. OK. My dad was at work so we gathered around the television. It wasn’t long before I had to go to the bathroom. I was so scared, I would not go because the Tornado Man might get me. An important note: my Easy Bake Oven went with the wind.

This was great, my brother came from the store with gum with a small poster in it. He asked if he could put it on the wall, NO! He snuck into her bedroom found a bobby pin, plugged it in an electrical socket, and caught the carpet in his bedroom on fire.

I matured early…..getting my mouth washed out with soap for saying fuck at 4 years old.

We’re on a teeter-totter at our grandparent’s house, I was in the air and spotted a snake. I was screaming like crazy. Gramps came back with a hole but I would not get off the swing. I still hate snakes.

When our teeth were loose we put a string around it, tied it to the doorknob, and then slammed the door. One time it took three tries to get one out. The tooth fairy didn’t leave any extra money.

Gramps and I would have a watermelon seed spitting contest, who could get seed over the picnic table.

One of the methods of discipline my grandparents used was to go outside and get a switch. If you brought a wimpy one, it was back outside for another.

My grandparents would take us to Ponchos, and we raised the flag for more until we exploded.

We had pampas grass with long razor blades, on each side of our driveway. We made a bike ramp, the goal was to jump over both pampas grass, and the driveway and not get cut to shreds.

Singing to the radio with my dad driving 90 miles an hour, smoking a cigar with windows rolled up and constantly pushing buttons on the radio while changing lanes. We didn’t worry about his driving it was the cheap cigars we complained about.

I’m blessed to have good memories of my childhood.

XO  M

Report from 2015

Book Review · Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward

Book Review For How The Successful Deal With The Stressfull By Mark Simmonds

I want to thank Andrea Marchiano, Managing Editor at Triggeer Publishing for sending me How The Successful Deal With The Stressful by Mark Simmonds for review. The publishing date is the end of March. 

My Thoughts

What better way to start 2025 than with a book that shares how successful people set strategies to achieve big goals? 

Mark has laid out the book by taking famous individuals and sharing their stories of diversity, how they turned their lives around, and how they’ve been successful. It’s an inspirational book full of ideas to change your life, move up the chain, and be happier. This is a book to keep on your bookshelves. Many stories share a personal and will warm hearts to hear their words.

The participants in the book are raw, inspiring, and energizing, they will leave you with new ideas to apply to your own life. 

Here’s  a short list of authors and topics

Jeff Bezos: Avoiding Procrastination

Achieve more and stress less by simply getting started. 

Dwight D. Eisenhower: Prioritizing Task

Keep sane by separating the urgent from the important. 

Charles Darwin: Achieving Balance

Maximizing your productivity by mixing up your day. 

Malala Yousafzai: Embracing Constraints

Create more opportunities by loving life’s challenges. 

This is a must-have book for everyone not just professionals, the words of wisdom in the book are life lessons you can use at any time in life. 

About Trigger Publishing

Our mission

At Trigger Publishing, our mission is to empower individuals on their mental health journey through the power of lived experience. We are dedicated to publishing real stories by real people, showing our readers that they are not alone and that recovery is possible. Our books and digital solutions, available through our parent brand Trigger Hub, provide hope, support, and practical tools for mental wellness.

Melinda

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward · Survivor

Postpartum Psychosis by Guest Margie Lackfield

I want to thank Margie for sharing her story with me. She is a special woman who wants to help others who experience Postpartum Psychosis. Please share this post with someone who’s given birth recently.

Postpartum Depression accompanied by Psychosis

This is not a war to win. It cages a soul and will not allow reason of any kind. I prayed, I begged and I pleaded. You can have me, but you cannot have my daughter.

On this particular morning, I thought I’d heard a knock at my front door, or was that coming from the back door? I trusted nothing. I sat in the nursery until the pounding stopped, and the sound of what I thought was my name being called, ended. Rocking my angel. I sobbed so violently. I wanted the voices and the visions to go away. I wanted nothing more than to save my baby from myself.

Something made me pause. Was that the front lock-set being opened, the door flinging open, were those real voices?

They found me. Jo and Priscilla. They found me, and they did not let go of me. One took the baby, and the other took the phone directory.

And every chance I get, I tell them, “Thank you.”

I spent the following three and a half months in a locked Psych ward.

Photo by Liza Summer on Pexels.com

Each one of us has a story that shames us, it can trap us in a sort of hell, but sometimes to escape hell, we must find words to express our grievance. I used to think this would be one that I could not share for fear of losing someone whom I love(d). Now I fear that if I don’t share it, someone may lose their way, they may find themselves lost, alone, aberrant, and of course, crazy. I would rather lose every friend I have for the sacrifice of gaining that one that reached out to me in need. The one that discovered hope, when they felt there was none left. But, if you can find clarity if you can trust that there are people in this world that care first for others, and second for themselves, then you, and they will walk with you through hell. When we have true friends, they don’t leave us when the going gets rough. They stop at nothing to see that we realize how important we are, in their life. They don’t call you, Pyscho, MisFit, or Crazy. They call you, Friend. That having us is a joy, a blessing, a God-send. A true friend does not judge, does not keep a scorecard, and knows that we are them, should they ever need us, and not out of guilt or because a favor needs returning. No, a true friend stands by knowing that without our connection we are only half of ourselves.

When others walked out, you walked in. You asked for nothing in return. You never used my illness to shame me, to discount me, to write me off. You stood beside me and carried me through my darkest hours. Priscilla, Senn, and Jo McCormack thank you for seeing me when I could not see myself. But more than anything, thank you for saving my Megan from the psychotic lunatic that I had become. We have fought hard to win, and without each of you, I would have lost. It took three and a half months, out-of-state, in a mental institution, a number of medications, and therapy sessions, but I came home, loving and vowed that one day I would share this story.

Never give up hope. When you are at your weakest, grasp for straws. Dial for help. Swallow your pride. Do not fear that you will be labeled, CRAZY, for the rest of your life, even by those you thought would stand behind you through thick and thin. One of the best pieces of advice given to me was these words:

“They already think you’re crazy. Nothing you do, or say, will change their opinion. Absolutely nothing, therefore, be yourself. Only you know the journey and the victory.”

To Megan,

I promised you I would finish a tale that I had begun earlier in one of my posts. I think I even noted Day 16 as the day that I would write it. Day 16, arrived, but the time didn’t feel ‘just right’. Today it does. I believe you will recall the post, original, and if not, I’ll help you retrieve it.

I spent three full days in bed making Pom-Poms out of tissues. And not intentionally. “No, Martha, I did not use your official cut-and-twist guide.” I fashioned mine while I tried building a dam to nowhere, for my sinus drainage. I took my temperature so many times I killed the battery in the thermometer. I’ve never slept so many hours in my life! This comes from someone who suffers extreme bits of insomnia. Food? I found two cans of soup at the back of the cupboard and considering we don’t eat processed canned items I can’t help but wonder where they came from, much less, why I consumed them.

I’d had enough of this Chit, so by 10:00 a.m., I drug my lazy self out of bed and into the steaming shower, threw on some clothes, and asked Hannah if she’d like to go for a walk.

I thought I’d heard a lot of commotion over the roar of my blow dryer, but I wasn’t in the mood to go ‘seek-and-find,’ what all the mischief was. Once dressed, and out the door, I looked up the street to see the fire truck. What the heck?!#&@

Okay, right off the bat I have to confess. I’m not into seeking out horror. I can’t handle it. Put me in a car, drive me down the freeway, and have someone shout, “Look! There’s been a car accident!” What do I do? Slither down in my seat and turn my head in the opposite direction. If I’m the one who happens to be driving, you won’t find me rubbernecking.

Where was I going with this?

The Walk…(and not on the wild side.)

Finally, on our way, we journey toward the coffee shop. I realize I can’t enter, doggie and all, but then I remember the new app I have downloaded on my phone. Hannah and I mosey up to the patio and sit down. Attempting to order, I realize this app needs a few software upgrades, but I’m not in the mood to hack up the menu in broad daylight, much less try to find a work-around on the store’s wi-fi firewall. Dang, I can’t just walk away, the pup is looking at me with those sweet, begging eyes as if to ask, “How much longer, Mummy?”

Thinking comes quick when smitten by a man’s best friend. I lasso a chair with her harness and tie the pup securely to it, placing her in full view of any area I’ll find myself at once inside the store.

…..Admit it, you’re just a wee bit bored, but you just can’t seem to pull yourself away from all the action. Consider yourself a rubbernecker and let’s get moving…..

We are at a junction in the road. If we take the route we came, we’re out 1.5 miles, but if we journey the alternate route we are out 1.5 miles. Decisions, decisions, oh, and the trick math question at the end. (Find your calculators.)

Let’s go rogue. I’m caffeinated and jet-packed by toxic chemicals from eating rancid soup. What could go wrong?

The Traffic Light!…(into the jungle)

The sucker must have been rigged for red-light runners! Hannah and I were caught in the median of a crazed intersection. Everyone dreams of a cuppa joe or a fuel tank of $2.35 gasoline. I think the only thing that saved us was the California Highway Patrol t-shirt my son (in-law) gave me. I looked, OFFICIAL!

Okay, I was only a third grey, now color me white-headed. I match the dog now. Lesson learned: Rubberneckers. “You folks are everywhere!” One of you almost put tire tracks on my bright orange and pink sneakers. Tell the truth, “We’re you wanting my eye color or that close-up of fear earmarked across my face?”

…..This painstakingly will end at some point. Why don’t you take a snooze and check back later for the mischief of the last mile and a half?….

Safely in a green space, we walk among the oak trees listening to the sound of acorns dropping in our midst. (Note to self: Bring bike helmets in the future.) Meandering along and I look up to see we are at the high school. My heart skips a beat, and then another. “Wasn’t it just yesterday?” Oh, how time does fly. But I won’t let this moment go. I grab my phone and take a couple of photos. I zip them off to my two beautiful daughters. They’ll open their messages and go back in time themselves. I wonder at what moments their day will stand still? I knew mine. I know it well. I’ll cherish it forever.

There I sat awaiting the dismissal bell. The bell echoes. Oh, I miss that bell. I miss all the ringing of that far-off bell.

Saturday my youngest daughter moves away from home. Off to her grown-up home. Not a dorm room, no, those days are gone, too. There’s part of me that wants her to go, but then there is that part of me that knows how far away she may one day travel. And yet, I must give her the pieces of the apron strings, the wings to fly, to soar, to dream and dare.

Did anyone find me a pen and some paper? Did you find your calculators? Get ready, here she blows:

If I live 1.5 miles in one direction, yet I am able to travel in an opposing direction 1.5 miles and arrive at my origination, what direction am I traveling?
We set off to run errands. Hannah’s errands, actually. I should just admit that some days I simply say to hell with the housework, laundry included, and I put my best friend in the car and we set about finding mischief.

We ran thru the CVS drive-through to pick up some of my meds and beg for the usual dog biscuit. FAIL! They were out of treats.

Starbucks redeemed her spirit though when they gave her a Puppy Whip. It’s a small cup container filled with whipped cream.

Across the railroad tracks and we head into Southlake. The outdoor shopping mall is always fun. There are fountains galore and hundreds of shade trees. Unfortunately, they have no outdoor drinking fountains. Hannah drank a bit of my iced tea as I cursed myself for not having brought along her collapsible water bowl and some water. Finally, I recalled the Whole Earth Provisions Store allows dogs in their store. I took my girl in and she made a group of newly found friends, all human and eager to dote upon her. Someone snagged a dog treat for her and everyone took turns petting her.

The girl is worn out. Now resting with a full tummy of treats and back inside to the cooled air conditioning.

___________________________

Post-Partartum Psychosis has to be taken seriously. I ask you to reach out for help and keep an eye on a loved one or signs of Depression or Psychosis.

She’s a survivor and an extremely strong woman. I’ve never met someone as strong as she is. It blows my mind what she’s been through and the pain she must feel. 

Melinda

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Celebrate Life · Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Moving Forward

Martin Luther King Quote

“Violence is impractical because it is a descending spiral ending in destruction for all. It is immoral because it seeks to humiliate the opponent rather than win his understanding: It seeks to annihilate rather than convert. Violence is immoral because it thrives on hatred rather than love. It destroys community and makes brotherhood impossible. It leaves society in monologue rather than dialogue. Violence ends up defeating itself. It creates bitterness in the survivors and brutality in the destroyers.”
— in his Nobel Lecture delivered at the University of Oslo on Dec. 11, 1964

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward

Book Review For Celebrating Poertry By Cindy Georgakas

Cindy is a great blogging friend and an inspiration to me. When she said her look book was poetry, I paused for a minute. I’m not one to get into poetry, but this book is different, it’s conversational and the topics speak to me. I love how it flows.  

Celebrating Poetry is a Companion Guide to Re-Create and Celebrate.

A Little About Cindy

Cindy is a San Francisco native and currently lives nestled in the trees in a small community with her husband and four fur babies. Her debut book Recreate & Celebrate: 7 Steps To Live The Life Of Your Dreams has 40 5-star reviews on Amazon and can be found at local bookstores. She was voted Author of The Year by Spillworks Press, NY in 2024 and was voted Author of the Month by Spillworks Press, NY in April 2023 and Publication of the Month by Spillworks Press in October 2022.

Celebrating Poetry Paperback 

 
 

A Few Reviews

“Celebrating Poetry by Cindy Georgakas is a joy to read and a perfect companion to Cindy’s book, Re-Create & Celebrate.

She shares a variety of poems relating to the ups and downs of everyday life. Her verses encourage us to discover and celebrate our own strengths and to face life’s challenges.

I highly recommend this wonderful book to reconnect with yourself and enrich your soul.”

“Cindy’s poetry is a warm embrace on a cold night. Each verse, a window into her soul, inviting the reader to peer in and understand. Her words, raw and honest, resonate deeply, making the reader feel both seen and understood. It’s as if she’s sitting across from you sharing her life story, one heartfelt poem at a time. A truly beautiful and moving collection that I loved.”

“First thing in the morning and last thing at night. I keep this lovely collection of poems next to my bed, and read one before falling asleep to feed my muse and my spirit. When I wake, I re-read the same poem again, and generally pick up something new that I missed in the first reading. No matter when or how you decide to read this beautiful collection, just know that you don’t want to miss a single one! 💞”

My Thoughts

I love how the book is laid out, there is a section where Cindy writes her thoughts followed by a collection of relative poetry. It’s more conversational than a poetry book. One of the most important things I can say is Cindy is inspirational, and positive and leaves you with questions to ponder. 

Some of the topics Cindy covers in Celebrating Poetry are:

Be who you are

Look up not down

You reap what you sew

Bite your tongue

and so many more great topics that can help us shape your life for the positive. 

I like that there are pages to write down your reflections which is great to look back at and remind you of which areas you would like to read again, and you will want to read again.

A few poems I especially related to:

Bite Your Tounge

Learn or Blame

Spit It Out

This book will become your trusted friend, one you can go back and lay your head on. There’s truth in Cindy’s words. I agree with one reviewer, it’s a must-read. 

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward · Self-Care

How to Be Happy: 27 Habits to Add to Your Routine

Regardless of your version of true happiness, living a happier, more satisfied life is within reach. A few tweaks to your regular habits like getting more sleep and exercise can help you get there.

Habits matter. If you’ve ever tried breaking a bad habit, you know all too well how engrained they are.

Well, good habits are deeply engrained, too. Why not work on making positive habits part of your routine?

Below, you’ll find suggestions for daily, monthly, and yearly habits to help kickstart your quest. Just remember that everyone’s version of happiness is a little different, and so is their path to achieving it.

If some of these habits create added stress or just don’t fit your lifestyle, ditch them. With a little time and practice, you’ll figure out what does and doesn’t work for you.

Daily habits

The following daily habits may help you achieve more happiness in your life.

1. Smile

You tend to smile when you’re happy. But it’s actually a two-way street.

We smile because we’re happy, and smiling causes the brain to release dopamine, which makes us happier.

While not completely foolproof, researchers have found that the link between smiling and happiness could be attributed to the “facial feedback hypothesis,” where facial expressions may have a modest influence on emotions. 

That does not mean you have to go around with a fake smile plastered on your face all the time. But the next time you find yourself feeling low, crack a smile and see what happens. Or try starting each morning by smiling at yourself in the mirror.

2. Exercise

Exercise isn’t just for your body. Regular exercise can help reduce stress, feelings of anxiety, and symptoms of depression while boosting self-esteem and happiness.

Even a small amount of physical activity can make a difference. You don’t have to train for a triathlon or scale a cliff — unless that’s what makes you happy, of course.

The trick is to not overexert yourself. If you suddenly throw yourself into a strenuous routine, you may just end up frustrated (and sore).

Consider these exercise starters:

  • Take a walk around the block every night after dinner.
  • Sign up for a beginner’s class in yoga or tai chi.
  • Start your day with 5 minutes of stretching.

Remind yourself of any fun activities you once enjoyed but that have fallen by the wayside. Or you could consider starting activities you always wanted to try, such as golf, bowling, or dancing.

3. Get plenty of sleep

Most adults need at least 7 hoursTrusted Source of sleep every night. If you find yourself fighting the urge to nap during the day or just generally feel like you’re in a fog, your body may be telling you it needs more rest.

No matter how much our modern society steers us toward less sleep, we know that adequate sleep is vitalTrusted Source to good health, brain function, and emotional well-being. Getting enough sleep also reduces your riskTrusted Source of developing certain chronic illnesses, such as heart diseasedepression, and diabetes.

Here are a few tips to help you build a better sleep routine:

  • Write down how many hours of sleep you get each night and how rested you feel. After a week, you should have a better idea how you’re doing. You can also try using an app to track your sleep.
  • Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, including on weekends.
  • Reserve the hour before bed as quiet time. Take a bath, read, or do something relaxing. Avoid heavy eating and drinking.
  • Keep your bedroom dark, cool, and quiet.
  • Invest in some good bedding.
  • If you have to take a nap, try limiting it to 20 minutes.

If you consistently have problems sleeping, consider talking with a doctor. You may have a sleep disorder that requires treatment.

4. Eat with mood in mind

You may already know that your food choices have an impact on your overall physical health. But some foods can also affect your state of mind.Trusted Source

For example:

  • Carbohydrates release serotonin, a “feel good” hormone. Just keep simple carbs — foods high in sugar and starch — to a minimum because that energy surge is short and you’ll crash. Choosing complex carbs, such as vegetables, beans, and whole grains, can help you avoid a crash while still providing serotonin.
  • Lean meat, poultry, legumes, and dairy are high in protein. Protein-rich foods release dopamine and norepinephrine, which boost energy and concentration.
  • Omega-3 fatty acids, such as those found in fatty fish, have been found to have anti-inflammatory effectsTrusted Source that extend to your overall brain health. If you don’t eat fish, you might consider talking with a doctor about possible supplementation. 
  • Highly processed or deep-fried foods tend to leave you feeling down and so will skipping meals.

If you want to eat with your mood in mind, consider starting with making one food choice for your mood each day.

For example, swap a big, sweet breakfast pastry for some Greek yogurt with fruit. You’ll still satisfy your sweet tooth, and the protein will help you avoid a midmorning energy crash. Consider adding in a new food swap each week.

5. Practice gratitude 

Simply being grateful can give your mood a big boost, among other benefits. For example, a two-part study found that practicing gratitude can have a significant impact on feelings of hope and happiness.

You might try starting each day by acknowledging one thing you’re grateful for. You can do this while you’re brushing your teeth or just waiting for that snoozed alarm to go off.

As you go about your day, consider keeping an eye out for pleasant things in your life. They can be big things, such as knowing that someone loves you or getting a well-deserved promotion.

But they can also be little things, such as a co-worker who offered you a cup of coffee or the neighbor who waved to you. Maybe it could even just be the warmth of the sun on your skin.

With a little practice, you may even become more aware of all the positive things around you.

6. Give a compliment

Research shows that performing acts of kindness may also help promote your overall well-being. 

Giving a sincere compliment is a quick, easy way to brighten someone’s day while giving your own happiness a boost.

Catch the person’s eye and say it with a smile so they know you mean it. You might be surprised by how good it makes you feel.

If you want to offer someone a compliment on their physical appearance, make sure to do it in a respectful way.

7. Breathe deeply

You’re tense, your shoulders are tight, and you feel as though you just might “lose it.” We all know that feeling.

Instinct may tell you to take a long, deep breath to calm yourself down.

Turns out, that instinct is a good one. ResearchTrusted Source supports the fact that slow breathing and deep breathing exercises can help reduce stress.

The next time you feel stressed or are at your wit’s end, work through these steps:

  1. Close your eyes. Try to envision a happy memory or beautiful place.
  2. Take a slow, deep breath in through your nose.
  3. Slowly breathe out through your mouth or nose.
  4. Repeat this process several times until you start to feel yourself calm down.

If you’re having a hard time taking slow, deliberate breaths, try counting to 5 in your head with each inhale and exhale.

8. Acknowledge the unhappy moments

positive attitude is generally a good thing, but bad things happen to everyone. It’s just part of life.

If you get some bad news, make a mistake, or just feel like you’re in a funk, don’t try to pretend you’re happy.

Acknowledge the feeling of unhappiness, letting yourself experience it for a moment. Then shift your focus toward what made you feel this way and what it might take to recover.

Would a deep breathing exercise help? A long walk outside? Talking it over with someone?

Let the moment pass and take care of yourself. Remember, no one’s happy all the time.

9. Keep a journal

A journal is a good way to organize your thoughts, analyze your feelings, and make plans. And you don’t have to be a literary genius or write volumes to benefit.

It can be as simple as jotting down a few thoughts before you go to bed. If putting certain things in writing makes you nervous, you can always shred it when you’ve finished. It’s the process that counts.

Not sure what to do with all the feelings that end up on the page? Our guide to organizing your feelings may help.

10. Face stress head-on

Life is full of stressors, and it’s impossible to avoid all of them.

There’s no need to. Stress isn’t always harmful, and we can even change our attitudes about stress. Sometimes, there’s an upside to stress.

For those stressors you can’t avoid, remind yourself that everyone has stress — there’s no reason to think it’s all on you. And chances are, you’re stronger than you might think you are.

Instead of letting yourself get overwhelmed, try to address the stressor head-on. This might mean initiating an uncomfortable conversation or putting in some extra work, but the sooner you confront it, the sooner the pit in your stomach may start to shrink.

11. Avoid comparing yourself to others

Whether it happens on social media, at work, or even at a yoga class, it’s easy to fall into a place where you’re comparing yourself to others. The result? You may experienceTrusted Source more discontent, lower self-esteem, and even depression and anxiety.

It can take practice to stop comparing yourself to others, but it’s worth it for the benefit of having your inner peace and happiness. 

You can start with some of the other tips on this list that can help draw your attention inward to yourself, such as deep breathing and journaling. You may also consider talking with a therapist for perspective.

If you like to read the entire article you can find it Here.

Melinda

Reference:

Celebrate Life · Family · Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward

Book Review For Between By Gemma & Leo Thelford

I want to thank Andrea Marchiano, Managing Editor at Trigger Publishing for sharing the book Between for review. The release date is February 4th, 2025. Between is a memoir of gender transition by a mother and her son. The book helps us learn the challenges they both faced and their mission is to break down the stigma and educate those who have questions about Transgender. 

My Thoughts

Gemma and Leo Thelford are brutally honest in sharing their story, the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s important to remember that Leo comes from a loving family that supports him. His father has a difficult time during the transition due to a lack of knowledge and his own stigma. His younger sibling had a difficult time wrapping his head around it. The journey was difficult but the family worked through it together. 

For the purpose of this book, it’s the story between Leo and his mother. Gemma and Leo write their own chapters and it really helped the dialogue sink in because you have both of their thoughts on a subject.

What do you say when your 11-year-old daughter says she’s a boy? Between is a complex story of a daughter explaining to her mother that she doesn’t feel like a girl. With honest conversations and research Gemma began to understand the road her daughter may be facing and took an active role in each step of the way. 

Their story warms my heart because they had the love and trust to make this huge change in their life. 

Between is one of the most interesting books I’ve read and it answered many of my questions. 

I have worked with Andrea for years and have learned from every book I’ve read.

About Trigger Publishing

Our mission

At Trigger Publishing, our mission is to empower individuals on their mental health journey through the power of lived experience. We are dedicated to publishing real stories by real people, showing our readers that they are not alone and that recovery is possible. Our books and digital solutions, available through our parent brand Trigger Hub, provide hope, support, and practical tools for mental wellness.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Chronic Illness · Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Moving Forward

6 Tips for Navigating the Job Search with Chronic Illness

by Kathy Reagan Young

Fact Checked by: Jennifer Chesak, MSJ

With careful planning and thoughtful strategies, you can find fulfilling employment opportunities that accommodate your unique needs.

Searching for a job is a job in itself. Add chronic illness to that mix, and the process becomes even more complex. The unpredictable nature of chronic conditions makes it important to have a plan for dealing with what can be unique hurdles during the job search. 

I’ve been there, done that. That’s why I’m offering my practical tips and insights to help you navigate the job search successfully.

1. Set realistic goals

Before diving into the job search, it’s essential to assess your limitations, strengths, and preferences. Consider the impact of your condition on your daily life and energy levels. 

Do you tend to “fade” as the day goes on? Setting hours to reflect and embrace this truth will be helpful. Are you unable to lift, walk long distances, or hold a phone? Do your hands get tired easily? Only you can know yourself. 

Self-awareness will guide you to set realistic goals and find positions that align with your abilities. And it will set you up for success in the long run. 

“Disability is a matter of perception. If you can do just one thing well, you’re needed by someone.”

— Martina Navratilova

2. Research potential employers

Identify industries and roles that accommodate flexible schedules, remote work options, and supportive work environments. Look for companies with a strong commitment to diversity and inclusion, as they may offer more accommodations for people living with chronic illness. 

So, how do you find this information? 

Research. I like to check out companies on LinkedIn. It’s a great place to learn about a company’s culture and the people who work there. You can also learn a lot from anonymous postings of current and former employees on Glass Door.

3. Weigh the decision to disclose your condition

The decision to disclose your chronic illness is a personal one. It may depend on the nature of your condition and the specific job requirements. Legally, employers cannot discriminate against people living with disabilities. 

But let’s be honest: Discrimination is real. Doing what we can to control the narrative is a smart decision.

I used to advocate for everyone to be forthcoming — loud and proud, so to speak. “Share the real you,” I’d say. “Having to keep a secret is exhausting and stressful. Be authentically who you are.” 

Then, multiple people shared with me their stories of discrimination and ableism. So, I no longer suggest that. 

Now, I recommend securing the job first and disclosing your condition strategically if you decide to do so. Share only the most job-relevant information and nothing more. Focus on your skills and qualifications first, then discuss any necessary accommodations that will allow you to perform at your highest level. 

And document, document, document. If you feel you’re being discriminated against at any point in the hiring stage or beyond, you’ll need documentation to substantiate your claims.

4. Utilize job search platforms and networks

Explore online job search platforms and networks that cater to individuals with disabilities or chronic illnesses. Many websites feature job listings from companies actively seeking to hire people with diverse abilities, providing a supportive environment for job seekers with chronic illnesses. 

Leverage your personal and professional networks. Tell friends, family, and colleagues about your job search and ask for recommendations or introductions. 

Maybe you post on your favorite social network (Facebook, Instagram, etc) or email several friends and family members to inform them of your job search and ask for any advice. Networking opens doors to opportunities that may not be advertised through traditional channels. 

5. Emphasize transferable skills

Craft a compelling resume and cover letter that emphasize your transferable skills and accomplishments. Focus on experiences that showcase your ability to overcome challenges and achieve results. 

Maybe a team member at a former job of yours resigned unexpectedly in the middle of a big project with a deadline looming. Instead of panicking, you assessed the skills of other team members to see how this deficit could be filled by existing talent, and you hired temporary outside help to fill in the remaining gaps to complete the project well and on time. 

Sharing how you’ve overcome challenges in the past can help potential employers see the value you bring to the table, regardless of any limitations posed by your chronic illness.

Consider creating a skills-based resume that emphasizes your abilities and achievements rather than focusing on a chronological work history. This format allows you to showcase your skills prominently, capturing the attention of employers and demonstrating your suitability for the position. 

Just search “skills-based resume” to see formatting examples.

6. Prepare for interviews

Job interviews can be nerve-wracking, and sometimes we can face additional stressors. Take proactive steps to prepare for interviews by researching common interview questions and writing down your responses. 

Consider practicing with a friend or family member to build confidence and refine your answers.

Develop a strategy for addressing potential gaps in your employment history due to health-related reasons, focusing on how you’ve maintained or improved your skills during such periods. For example: 

During (specific timeframe), I was dealing with health challenges that taught me valuable lessons in resilience and adaptability. I remained active in professional networking groups, participated in online discussions, and did self-directed learning. This not only kept me informed about industry developments but also allowed me to exchange ideas with professionals in the field.

Navigating a job search with a chronic illness can be challenging, but with careful planning and thoughtful strategies, you can find fulfilling opportunities that accommodate your unique needs.

Online job search platforms

Online resources

  • Disability:IN: A global organization that promotes the inclusion of people with disabilities in the workplace. Their website offers resources, webinars, and job listings from inclusive employers.
  • Work Without Limits: A resource center that provides tools and information to support individuals with disabilities in finding employment, including job fairs, networking events, and career development resources.
  • My Plus: Focuses on supporting students and professionals with disabilities, offering a range of resources, including a job board, webinars, and advice for navigating the job market.
  • DisabledPerson: An inclusive job board connecting individuals with disabilities to employers actively seeking to diversify their workforce.
  • CareerOneStop: Workers with disabilities: A comprehensive resource by the U.S. Department of Labor providing information on job accommodations, career planning, and employment services for individuals with disabilities.
  • Understood: A platform offering resources and support for individuals with learning and attention issues. Their employment section provides guidance on job searching and workplace accommodations.

Book recommendations

I have Bipolar Disorder and made the decision to not tell my employer exactly what health issue I had and I did not discuss it until my health forced me to take time off. If you have a physical limitation that creates a different situation and one where you will need to tell them upfront. Be leary, and keep documentation, the reality is not all employers are ethical and respect EEOC laws. That’s the cynic in me.

Melinda

Reference:

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward

How to Make a Positive Start to the New Year

Do you make resolutions every new year but rarely manage to stick to them beyond the end of January? Research shows that just eight percent of people manage to stick to their resolutions, with many people abandoning their good intentions around mid-January. But, it is crucial to remember that although your previous attempts may not have been successful, you can still achieve your resolutions in the future; you just need to know how to do it. Getting your new year off to the most positive start possible is an excellent way to get on the path to success in the new year. Here are some tips to help ensure your 2025 gets off to a positive start.

Focus on Your Health

Good health is the foundation that enables people to achieve their goals. If your health is poor, it is challenging to focus on other areas of your life and how you would like to live. Making your health a priority in the new year is a great way to start on a positive note. 

When deciding to make health a priority, it is a good idea to begin by focusing on habits and behaviors that are damaging your wellness. Getting the proper support to overcome addictions is an excellent way to get started and break free from the control these habits have over your life. Seeking professional support is a big help, and you can do this by taking a look at Rehab List to find the treatment you need more easily.

Reduce Your Stress Levels

Feeling constantly stressed can take its toll on your well-being and impact your mood. It is hard to feel positive when you have constant stress weighing you down. Taking action to reduce the stress in your life and changing the way you respond to it is an excellent way to get your new year off to a positive start. 

Stress can be beneficial in some situations, and the stress response plays a crucial role in keeping people safe in potentially dangerous circumstances. However, having your stress response triggered regularly can impact both your health and your outlook on life. Playing an active role in dealing with your stress is a valuable way to manage it. Identifying the root causes of your stress and addressing these is beneficial. Mindfulness techniques to prevent you from becoming caught up in unhelpful thinking patterns.

Nurture Your Wellbeing

Giving your well-being the attention it deserves is another excellent way to start the new year positively. Channeling your efforts into activities that nourish your body and mind rather than harm them will ensure you feel at your best as you start the new year. Focusing on nurturing your physical and mental health to become as strong as possible will provide a firm foundation for a positive start to a new chapter in your life.

One important key I learned several years ago is to focus on the goals that mean the most to me. I write only a handful of goals and then focus on making them happen. If needed I can always rethink and add a couple more. There’s nothing like having a list of 25 and accomplishing nothing. That doesn’t do much for your self-confidence.

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

Repost

Celebrate Life · Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Moving Forward

23 Female TED Speakers Tell Us About The Books That Shaped Them

Ideas.Ted.Com

Mar 7, 2018 /

Here are the books that profoundly influenced women from our speaker community, and they’re just as wonderfully diverse as TED itself.

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë

When I read this book for the first time as a deeply odd fifth-grader (or, as Jane says, “poor, plain, and little”), it felt like grasping onto a life raft that had been flung to me through the folds of time. Feeling such a kinship with Jane and with Charlotte Brontë herself made me feel, quite suddenly, less alone. I still re-read this book every couple of years, and it still speaks to something primal and yearning in me — the outsider woman who is finally seen, finds love, but also has the strength and self-possession to reject that love until she is able to accept it from a place of her own power and dignity. If you haven’t read it, do so immediately; if you read it a long time ago, it is well worth reading again; and if you, like me, can’t get enough of it, may I also recommend Wide Sargasso Sea, which is a prequel by Jean Rhys centered on the story of the mad wife in the attic.

Naomi McDougall Jones (TED Talk: What it’s like to be a woman in Hollywood)

Good Woman by Lucille Clifton

I read this collection of poems at a time of life when I was extremely outwardly successful yet, as I later came to learn, mired in self-loathing. Clifton’s poems on blackness, femaleness, mothering and the body were the catalyst of my journey to self-love. Reading Clifton, I felt, “If these words are possible, if she is possible, maybe I am possible.”

Julie Lythcott-Haims (TED Talk: How to raise successful kids — without over-parenting)

Madame Curie: A Biography by Eve Curie

The book that shaped me was a biography of Marie Curie, written by her daughter Eve Curie. I read it when I was a pre-teenager, and it motivated me to become a scientist. I was inspired by how she felt that scientific research was a deeply worthwhile, even noble, calling and that she also had a family (two daughters) and was a devoted parent as well as an iconic researcher.

Elizabeth Blackburn (TED Talk: The science of cells that never get old)

Writings of Nichiren Daishonin by Nichiren Daishonin

Nichiren Daishonin was a Japanese philosopher (1222–82) who wrote at a time when women were dismissed and faced a life and future of woe. In this book, he encourages men and especially women to make possible the impossible. He addresses women with powerful phrases like, “Even if one were to meet a person who could cross the ocean carrying Mount Sumeru on his head, one could never find a woman like you. Even though one might find a person who could steam sand and make boiled rice of it, one could never meet a woman like you.” This kind of courage really shaped me in showing me the infinite value and dignity of life.

Wanda Diaz-Merced (TED Talk: How a blind astronomer found a way to hear the stars)

Einstein’s Dreams by Alan Lightman

I read this book, a linked collection of short stories about dreams Einstein had, when I was a teenager, and it helped me see the world through different eyes. The scenarios that the author describes in succinct and beautiful prose are imaginary — in one, time is a circle, endlessly repeating itself — but reading them increased my awareness of how extremely narrow a framework of time and space we live in.

Karen Lloyd (TED Talk: This deep-sea mystery is changing our understanding of life)

Any Pippi Longstocking book by Astrid Lindgren

Lately, in the context of the #metoo movement, I found myself reflecting upon the outsized influence that the children’s book character Pippi Longstocking has had on me. Growing up in the Netherlands, I was not surrounded by traditional stories created by Disney. The one character that was, was Pippi. A girl my age, Pippi was extraordinarily strong — strong enough to toss policemen off her veranda (hence my work today to hold the police around the world accountable for human-rights violations?). She was independent and lived in a big house by herself with a monkey and a horse (this was refreshingly different from dominant-gender narratives that involved futures created by princes and proposals), loyal, principled (she espoused sticking with your values over obeying rules), and anti-authority (she defied all formal structures of authority, from parents to educators — a key quality that I look for in leading a group of human-rights defenders). Last but not least, she was economically self-sufficient — she had a treasure trove of gold coins hidden in a tree trunk and taught me early on to be fiscally independent.

— Yvette Alberdingk-Thijm (TED Talk: The power of citizen video to create undeniable truths)

Blue Ocean Strategy: How to Create Uncontested Market Space and Make the Competition Irrelevant by W. Chan Kim and Renée Mauborgne

This book had an immense impact on me as I was developing the Runway of Dreams Foundation. It explores what it means to successfully create “blue oceans,” untapped market spaces ripe for growth and innovation. My middle son, Oliver, was born with a rare form of muscular dystrophy, which makes it hard for him to find fashionable and functional clothing. Through my experiences with him, I realized that millions of people around the globe were also struggling to access stylish clothing and that the fashion industry was not addressing their needs. Mainstream adaptive clothing was a wide-open “blue ocean” of opportunity, and the book gave me the tools and framework I needed to take action.

Mindy Scheier (TED Talk: How adaptive clothing empowers people with disabilities)

Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen by Christopher McDougall

Ah, how this book has impacted me! First and foremost, it was the first non-schoolbook which I read fully from end to end. While I’ve started reading many books, I never finished any. Many people say reading is for some people, not for all, but reading this book gave me another perspective — we just need the right book for us to fall in love with reading! This book is what got me into reading, and what a blessing that has been. Second, for those who love running, who are training for their next marathon, or who feel freed when they run, this book is a gem in allowing us to connect with the belief that humans were born to run, and most important, to consider that we were born to run barefoot. This book made me appreciate living barefoot. It has made me remind myself to take off my shoes and let my feet live freely whenever I can.

— Lana Mazahreh (TED Talk: 3 thoughtful ways to conserve water)

Bridge Across My Sorrows by Christina Noble with Robert Coram

I read this memoir when I was in my 20s, and to this day it remains one of the most powerful human survival stories I have read. The author endured a harrowing childhood and adolescence in Dublin and, later, a violent marriage. As an adult, she traveled to Vietnam, where she turned her attention to helping the impoverished and vulnerable street children in Ho Chi Minh City. She went on to establish her own foundation, which now has programs in Vietnam and Mongolia. Her ability to survive and succeed has always stayed with me. I realized that self-determination and courage are innate qualities that no one can take from you and should never be underestimated. The book isn’t easy to read; I cried a lot but I could not put it down. If you like to read about strong, real women, this book is a must.

Michelle Knox (TED Talk: Talk about your death while you’re still healthy)

Dept. of Speculation by Jenny Offill

I adored this novel from its first sentence. It is a portrait of a marriage seen through the eyes of an unnamed woman. It explores desire and its loss, the fears and hopes of birth and parenthood, and the terrors of things falling apart — all things that resonated deeply with me. I am also in awe of the apparently effortless way Offill weaves philosophy and history into her fictional narrative, rightly linking the intimate and domestic — traditionally seen as feminine spheres — to fundamental questions about the nature of knowledge and existence. This is a slender book (and as a mother of very young children, that is certainly a plus for me!), but each time I re-read it, I experience the kind of emotional connection with its protagonist that leaves me feeling listened to — which is what I value most in reading.

Tiffany Watt Smith (TED Talk: The history of human emotions)

The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy

Roy’s novel remains one of my favorites of all time. Her complex tale of an Indian family in Kerala unfolds masterfully through a series of flashbacks and side stories, and her writing is nothing short of stunning. It is an incredibly intricate work of fiction that touches on a myriad of sensitive themes in Indian culture and society, ranging from forbidden love to politics and the complexities of the caste system. The book came out in 1997, when I was in law school in Boston, and I was transported to another time and place while reading it. I was raised in the United States as a first-generation Indian, and this was one of the first times I read a story set in a backdrop that was culturally familiar to me, even though the story itself was completely unfamiliar. The critical and commercial global success of The God of Small Things made me realize that culturally diverse stories mattered, and it planted the seed in my mind that perhaps there was room for my story among those voices.

Anjali Kumar (TED Talk: My failed mission to find God — and what I found instead)

The Untold Story of Milk: The History, Politics and Science of Nature’s Perfect Food: Raw Milk from Pasture-Fed Cows by Ron Schmid

This nonfiction book opened my eyes to the power that multinational corporations have over our food systems and the dangers and risks this poses to human health as well as livestock health. It puts into perspective how destructive consumerism is, and it made me question the power of marketing. It will make you think about the future of all food through a milky lens.

Su Kahumbu (TED Talk: How we can help hungry kids, one text at a time)

Just Kids by Patti Smith

Just Kids reads like a poem, as Smith’s wordcraft transports you to the bohemian New York of the late 1960s and ’70s. While her memoir recounts the relationship she nurtured with her lover and friend, photographer Robert Mapplethorpe, what resonated with me was the way it depicts the insatiable drive that the two artists had to express and refine their art and creations. I was struck by their commitment to and faith in their inner artistic voice, a message that inspired me to be more creatively courageous, both in my scientific work and in my personal life.

Miho Janvier (TED Talk: Lessons from a solar storm chaser)

Pussy: A Reclamation by Regena Thomashauer

This manifesto is as close to a come-to-Jesus moment as I’ll ever get. Thomashauer, who goes by the name Mama Gena (think: sexy, hilarious, take-no-prisoners, feminist, Jewish mother — the one who all your friends want to hang out with), has been working with women for 20 years to flip the script on our patriarchal culture. As women, we’ve ingested so much about sacrifice, suffering, working harder, working smarter, enduring, and sucking it up. She’s teaching us to stand for our pleasure and to stand for one another. Here’s what she says: when a woman is in her full pleasure, or — in Pussy parlance — “turned on,” everyone is taken care of. The first thing a turned-on woman does is turn to her sisters to bring them higher; her bright light illuminates her family and her community. She brings pleasure to her own life and to the world around her. Who doesn’t want that?

Sue Jaye Johnson (TED Talk: What we don’t teach kids about sex)

The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien

My family immigrated to America when I was 11, and this book was the first real literature that I read after I learned English. It helped me understand that life is meant to have a villain or two, that failure often leads to the climax, and that people, like characters, develop, so even the most unlikely hero can save the day. And even though every great story must come to an end, there’s always a sequel — all you have to do is to get out of your Hobbit hole and embrace your curiosity to go on an adventure.

Fawn Qiu (TED Talk: Easy DIY projects for kid engineers)

In Search of Our Mothers’ Gardens: Womanist Prose by Alice Walker

In her 1974 essay, “In Search of Our Mothers’ Gardens, The Creativity of Black Women in the South,” which is part of this collection, Walker challenges us to imagine the experiences of our creative female ancestors and calls upon Black women to define their own identity as Black women artists throughout history: “How was the creativity of the Black woman kept alive, year after year and century after century, when for most of the years Black people have been in America, it was a punishable crime for a Black person to read or write? And the freedom to paint, to sculpt, to expand the mind with action did not exist. Consider, if you can bear to imagine it, what might have been the result if singing, too, had been forbidden by law.” When I first read these words, I wanted to explore the possibilities of these experiences and reinvest in the work of other Black female artists as a way of locating my own identity as an artist. Ever since I was a child, art has played a large part in my life. I am fascinated by the work of 19th-century artists and equally intrigued by the photographic images in my family album of the women that came before me.

Deborah Willis (TED Talk, given with her son Hank Willis Thomas: A mother and son united by love and art)

Being with Dying: Cultivating Compassion and Fearlessness in the Presence of Death by Joan Halifax

It was important to me that I give my mother the best possible experience in the very difficult and precious time when she was dying. But I had no idea how; I had no experience. I researched this topic as much as I researched cancer itself and how to fight it, and this book was the most helpful I read. Halifax is truly a gift to our world. She is the ultimate role model of how to be with someone who is going through the dying process. In understanding how to be present to the letting go of life, we can learn how to live more presently.

Alyssa Monks (TED Talk: How loss helped one artist find beauty in imperfection)

Mothers and Others by Sarah Blaffer Hrdy

This nonfiction book is an eye-opening exploration into how children are raised around the world and how child-rearing can inform the understanding of human nature more broadly. I relied heavily on it when writing my own book,which explores the brain mechanisms that enable us to care about other people’s welfare. As it turns out, the same brain networks that support caring for children also support care more broadly, an idea that builds on the author’s most essential point: one of the things which makes humans special as a species is that we don’t limit care to our own children. We can expand our circles of care and compassion outward to encompass nearly anyone, and it’s all because of the way our brains were set up to parent.

Abigail Marsh (TED Talk: Why some people are more altruistic than others)

Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery

Just a few pages into this book, I realized Anne Shirley was a kindred spirit. An orphaned girl with no material advantages but a richness of soul, imagination and ambition, Anne was wonderfully imperfect and extraordinarily real. I met her in sixth grade: She taught me that different doesn’t mean bad, smart beats pretty, and tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it — yet. Her courage to try and her willingness to hope inspired some of my own leaps and softened the thuds too. When you’ve got a friend who doesn’t just see a lake but the Lake of Shining Waters, you can find the silver lining in just about anything.

Kate Adams (TED Talk: 4 larger-than-life lessons from soap operas)

Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys

This great feminist novel, which is set in the Caribbean, blew me away at 18. Hypnotic and mesmerizing and sensuous, with the weight of the tropics, sin and loneliness, it was exhilarating because of the author’s psychological bravery and insight. I hope people are still reading her — she changed the lives of all the young women I knew.

Anne Lamott (TED Talk: 12 truths I learned from life and writing)

The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche

This seminal work changed my life in more ways than one. It distills ancient and profound Tibetan wisdom in a manner that is comprehensible to the Western mind. The two parts of the book — Life and Death — are naturally related to each other. While I am not an assiduous meditator, some of the advice and techniques explained in the Life section have stayed with me after just one reading. I learned how to calm the mind, even in situations that would otherwise cause a panic attack. But I found the section on dying even more powerful and useful. In Western societies we fear death and don’t talk about it much. Here, we learn how to prepare for our own end and how to help others transition. This was of immense value at a time when so many young people, friends and contemporaries were decimated by AIDS in the 1990s. Later on, as I grew older, so did my aunts, uncles and father. Facing up to their departures in ways practiced by advanced spiritual leaders takes away some of the pain, fear and sadness — theirs and ours. Unreligious and truly transformational, this book continues to inspire and provide endless wisdom on the great mysteries and challenges of our human existence.

Philippa Neave (TED Talk: The unexpected challenges of a country’s first election)

Salt by Nayyirah Waheed

For the past couple of years, I’ve had this collection of poems at my bedside. It’s brutal and love-filled at the same time, and I always find something that speaks to what I am feeling at the moment. Today, it’s this one …

knowing your power

is what creates

Humility.

not knowing your power

is what creates

Insecurity.

—ego

Sayu Bhojwani (TED Talk: Immigrant voices make democracy stronger)

Sexing the Cherry by Jeanette Winterson

This novel really influenced my thinking. The writing is so visual — gritty and sublime at the same time. It allows you to engage with vastness and wonder and the itchy curious experience of having your feet in mud. I also like the back story of the author, Jeanette Winterson. She is a difficult character to peg, one who is courageous, compassionate, intelligent, violent, proud, and argumentative, a fighter with a flair for love stories. She has definitely influenced my connection with multifaceted ideas of “female,” “queer” and “independent.”

Emily Parsons-Lord (TED Talk: Art made of the air we breathe)

Family · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Moving Forward

I’m Sending Love To All The Soldiers Fighting In Ukraine

There are soldiers from other countries fighting side by side with the Ukrainians and I want to say how much I appreciate your sacrifice. Many of you are fighting far away from your families and you yearn to see them. You are fighting for the freedom of the Ukrainian people and I can’t thank you enough for having the conviction of the heart. No doubt, you’ve made lifelong friends in the worst of situations, but the end will come and we can all celebrate.

I want to give a huge shout-out to the Americans who are helping support Ukraine, have a piece of pecan pie on me. You need to know you are not forgotten back home this Thanksgiving Day in fact I bet your families are praying for you and counting the days to see you.

Be safe and remember you’re in our hearts.

The Ukrainian flag colors. 

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward · Sexual Assault · Trauma

Join No More On 11/25/24 For The International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women

NO MORE

Dear Supporter,

You’re invited to join us on Monday, November 25th, the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, for a very special worldwide broadcast to increase awareness, solidarity, and concrete actions to address the global crisis of gender-based violence. Hosted in partnership with Peace One Day, and sponsored by Avon and the Centre for Public Impact, this event will feature an incredible lineup of survivors, advocates, performers, and global leaders.

They will share powerful stories, insights, and steps we can all take to fuel meaningful change in our communities and culture. Every day, millions of women around the world face the devastating reality of gender-based violence. One in three women will experience sexual or domestic violence in her lifetime, and more than 60% will never seek help. Of those who do, fewer than 10% will report their experience to the authorities. Now is the time to come together and say NO MORE!

So please plan to tune in to the #EVAWDay Broadcast on November 25th, starting at 1PM GMT / 8AM ET. You can watch at peaceoneday.org or on Peace One Day’s and NO MORE’s social channels. We will be in touch soon with more details, including a full list of the speakers and performers. In the meantime, please help us get one million viewers for the broadcast! Share this invitation with your friends, family, and colleagues because when we come together, we can create a world free from gender-based violence. Thank you for your support! 

Sincerely,

Pamela Zaballa Global CEO
 

This is a great opportunity to support women while learning first hand from the awesome speakers. 

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward

What I’ve Learned In 61 Years Part 8

If you must drive 10 miles under the speed limit, and get in your lane, it’s called the slow lane.

Whatever the speed limit is except in school zones you can safely drive five miles over the limit. What cop has time to stop you for five miles over?

If a cop is driving in front of you that doesn’t mean you have to slow down by 10 miles an hour. Once you pass the jacklegs on the road, drive at your normal speed, no more than five miles over the limit. If you have a broken tail light, expired tags, or smoking pot out the window, I would stay far behind the cop. They may make your day.

If you are pushing a baby cart, you don’t have the right to walk without looking around and cutting people off, especially those who depend on walking aids. Motherhood is great, but you’re not that important.

If you leave the house with a horrible cough put a mask on, not doing so is rude. Do you want someone to make your family sick?

Leaving verbal reminders on your phone while waiting in the doctor’s office is as annoying as listening to you talk on the phone. If you have to do something with yourself while waiting, step outside the building and talk all you want.

My patience is tested when older people think waiting for the doctor is the time to call all their family members to catch up. Go outside or save for the afternoon when you have nothing to do.

If we have to wait more than 30 minutes for our appointments, we should be paid for our time, and the front desk needs to ask us politely if we would like to reschedule. I don’t care that your computer system has been down for two hours, that’s not my problem, it’s yours. My Orthopedic doctor’s practice has had major issues with the new system since September. What about training? What is their tech support doing?

If you don’t love each other enough to get married, you don’t love each other enough to have a baby.

If you don’t love yourself, you don’t have enough love to have a baby. Having a baby will not fill the void inside.

If you’re engaged for multiple years, what are you waiting for? Are you taking a test drive?

This post is meant to be fun, I’m just sharing my opinions. If you disagree with something I say that’s cool, we all have our opinions. I’m not trying to make my opinion yours and I don’t want you to try to change mine. It’s a free world, we still have free speech.

Melinda

 

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Moving Forward

Follow Up To post About My DNA With 23&Me

My husband told me at lunch that 23&Me is in the financial news saying they are possibly going bankrupt. I wanted to let you know right away for those who were interested. If you are already a client, you can have them delete all your information which I did today. Once they go into bankruptcy if they do you will not have any control of how your DNA is handled and that is a bad place to be.

Another highly respected company that offers ancestry services and has DNA kits is Ancestry.com. I worked with them for ages building my family tree and never had a problem. They are another option to check out. If I were to have my DNA tested again, I would go with Ancestry.com. But I suggest you do your homework and go with the company you feel most comfortable with, just avoid small companies who might not make it long term.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward · Self-Care · Survivor

The 12 Best Mental Health Books

Medically reviewed by Bethany Juby, PsyD — Written by Jillian Goltzman — Updated on September 27, 2022.

A quick look at the 12 best mental health books:

Books are more than just a comfort. They can be a portal to different worlds, a bridge to a new past or future, an outpost for philosophies, and a support system for times of need. 

In a literal sense, research shows that reading has the power to change your brain and create different patterns within it. On a practical level, reading allows you to learn new information and skills you might’ve not known before. 

While dealing with a mental illness can feel isolating, 20 percent of the U.S. population experiences mental illness each year. Therapy and mindfulness are powerful steps in seeking help. For those looking to learn new skills outside of therapy, libraries and bookstores are teaming with options written by experts and licensed professionals. 

Mental health books can be a useful way to process your experiences, learn about psychology, and often find techniques and tools to help you in your daily life. They can aid your mental health toolkit by providing different techniques, scientific research, and stories of others who have faced the same hurdles. 

Melinda

Reference:

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward · Survivor · Trauma

Native American Heritage Month-Native Americans Are The Original Americans

Native American Heritage Month is extremely important to me for two reasons. The first I’m 1/16th Cherokee, and I’m proud of my ancestors. The second more gruesome, our government decided that the Indians weren’t allowed to live in open land like the white man. They rounded up all the tribes and built reservations for them to live without government support. They became second-class citizens and little has changed today. If you read just one book about the brutality of the Native Americans, read about the Trail of Tears. You will see a clear picture of how Native Americans were treated and raped of their land.

——-

Welcome to Native American Heritage Month at the Department of the Interior! National Native American Heritage Month is celebrated each year in November. It is a time to celebrate the traditions, languages, and stories of Native American and Alaska Native communities and ensure their rich histories and contributions continue to thrive with each passing generation. This November and every month, we celebrate the culture and heritage of these remarkable Americans who deeply enrich the quality and character of our Nation. We celebrate Indian Country with its remarkable diversity of American Indian and Alaska Native cultures and peoples while remembering and honoring our veterans who have sacrificed so much to defend our Nation.

Our theme is Weaving together our past, present and future. We will focus on the failed policies of the past with a focus on the Federal Indian Boarding Schools and moving into the present and the work being done to address the intergenerational trauma Native people still face. In partnership with the National Endowment for the Humanities and the Smithsonian Institution, we are working to record the lasting impacts of that era and share that information with all Americans.

As Indigenous people, our past, present and future are all connected.

Additional Resources

Informative articles

Biden-Harris Administration Announces $71 Million to Electrify Homes Across Indian Country with Clean Energy through President’s Investing in America Agenda

Indian Affairs invests nearly $10 million to rehabilitate Columbia River Treaty Fishing Access Sites, as part of President’s Investing in America agenda

Indian Affairs seeks additional input on new regulations to protect Native American and Native Hawaiian cultural items

Indian Affairs opens Indigenous Connectivity and Technology Division

For me, it’s important to read about how Native Americans were treated by our government because it was brutal and killed thousands and our government rapes their land from them.  Native Americans were the first Americans on this great land, not the people migrating on the Mayflower and other ships. No doubt in my mind they were here long before a boat came over.

I’m of Cherokee descent, myself being 1/16th and several of my ancestors are on the Dawns Rolls but many at the time didn’t sign the rolls because they did not trust the government. How could they trust after being driven from their land and pushed into tribal communities with no assistance from the government? It was sink or swim, it’s not different today.

Another blemish from history and little has been done to improve their living standards. I’m happy to have the articles mentioned above that show action is being taken.

Remember to open your mind that’s Thanksgiving to include Native Americans and their make in history.

Melinda

References:

https://www.bia.gov/NNAHM

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Internet Good/Bad · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward · Survivor · Trauma

NO MORE Week 2025 Tech Summit: Empowering or Endangering-Tech’s Impact on Domestic and Sexual Violence

No More has announced that No MORE Week is on March 2nd through March 8th, 2025. This Summit is one way to participate and it’s free. The knowledge you gain could save your own life or that of another.

 

Join us for the NO MORE Week 2025 Tech Summit: Empowering or Endangering – Tech’s Impact on Domestic and Sexual Violence

Attend the NO MORE Week 2025 Tech Summit, a special online event exploring the impacts of technology on domestic and sexual violence, including innovations and dangers. Hear from global experts on the latest research, policy changes, product development, and more. 

What should you expect: 

  • Discover the latest global trends in tech-facilitated abuse to gain insight into how technology is exploited by abusers to inflict harm.
  • Delve into the role of technology in promoting safety and fostering connections.
  • Have the opportunity to hear from survivors who have experienced various forms of abuse and, importantly, hear their suggestions for change. 
  • Participate in stimulating conversations and workshops led by industry professionals.
  • Contribute to the generation of innovative ideas that can instigate the necessary systemic changes to address these critical issues.
  • Equip yourself with the knowledge and resources to make a tangible impact on survivors of domestic and sexual violence. This is an opportunity to be a part of the movement and provide vital support to those in need.

Who should attend: 

  • Survivors of domestic and sexual violence and those closest to them. 
  • Those working with people who have experienced domestic or sexual violence, advocates, and activists
  • Tech companies and professionals
  • Legislators
  • Police and agencies in the Criminal Justice System
  • Financial institutions
  • Healthcare professionals or those working in emergency response services 
  • Academics

If you have any questions, please contact info@nomore.org

Empowering or Endangering?: Tech’s Impact on Domestic and Sexual Violence

Mar 04,2025
Starts in 131 days
 
Organized by The NO MORE Team
 
 
I look forward to seeing you there.

Melinda

References:

https://www.nomore.org

 

Celebrate Life · Chronic Illness · Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward

Resisting the Lure of Toxic Positivity While Chronically Ill

by Hannah Shewan Stevens

Medically Reviewed by:

Francis Kuehnle, MSN, RN-BC

Chronic illness is hard to live with, but coping by responding with excessive positivity can suppress our real feelings.

Those who live with chronic illnesses know all too well how frequently people shower you with meaningless platitudes like “just be positive” and “mind over matter.”

Of course, how we feel mentally affects our physical health, but being chronically ill also sucks sometimes. It’s OK to acknowledge that reality. But often, when we do, we’re told we’re being overdramatic or to force ourselves to “think our way back to being healthy.”

It’s time to reject toxic positivity and find coping mechanisms that actually work for you instead of methodologies that punish you for having “negative feelings.”

What is toxic positivity?

Toxic positivity is an expectation that no matter how serious a situation or diagnosis is, a person should maintain an ongoing optimistic and positive outlook and attitude regardless of how serious the circumstances are,” said Chicago-based clinical social worker Iris Waichler, MSW, LCSW.

This invasive method of communication shows up in countless ways, often slipping out of people’s mouths without them even noticing. Sometimes, it comes from the inside, led by an internal battle to just “get over it,” but it typically arises when people place their life view onto others.

“Toxic positivity often looks like someone giving you a motivational quote instead of actually listening, helping, or being there for you,” said Kitty Underhill, a body and self-acceptance coach from London, England. “For example, you could be struggling and communicating that to a friend, and they shut down the conversation with a statement like ‘good vibes only’ or dismissing it as being ‘low frequency.’

“Toxic positivity also looks like using buzzphrases like ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ and telling you that you need to have a more positive attitude rather than hearing you out — it’s an emotional cop-out,” she added.

The impact of toxic positivity is wide-ranging and pervasive, sometimes hiding beneath the surface for years before we’re able to recognize that it’s prevented us from feeling the full spectrum of human emotion without feeling guilty for not being cheerful enough for those around us.

“Toxic positivity may cause people to believe their feelings are not worthwhile, create self-doubt and shame, and make them believe their feelings are invalid,” said Waichler. “The unintended consequences may be enhanced insecurity, which lessens self-confidence and self-worth.”

How can it show up in our lives with chronic illness?

The effects may largely be the same, but chronically ill people deal with another poisonous layer when facing toxic positivity: disbelief.

Too often, disabled and chronically ill people are encouraged to “think themselves well” because it’s “mind over matter,” but this neglects reality. A positive outlook can improve someone’s overall well-being. However, it’s not a magical cure for incurable illness.

“A healthy person may not have a real understanding of the physical, medical, and psychological ramifications that chronic illness has on an individual,” Waichler said. “A healthy person’s attempt to “cheer them up” or be unrealistically positive can create feelings of alienation, resentment, and anger for the person on the receiving end.”

Toxic positivity is dismissive because it discards their feelings, insisting that they be processed on the other person’s terms. Unsurprisingly, this is a common occurrence between people with and without chronic illnesses, as it’s easily assumed that we’re being overdramatic or exaggerating our symptoms.

Faced with an onslaught of forced cheerfulness and disbelief, submitting to toxic positivity sometimes feels like the only option, but chronically ill and disabled people deserve to be heard.

“It can be easy to fall for toxic positivity, especially when a lot of ableism depends on disabled folks not speaking up about what they are experiencing and overriding their own comfort and pain levels to make abled folks feel more comfortable,” said Underhill.

“We must remember that toxic positivity is another way of shutting down unpalatable emotions and that our emotions still deserve to be heard and expressed,” she added.

Understanding the difference between toxic positivity and genuine positivity 

“Genuine positivity makes space for the negative and doesn’t try to write it off or bat it away,” said Underhill. “Genuine positivity helps you to see things from different angles and perspectives, which can be helpful if we’re getting tunnel vision from feeling hopeless, angry, or upset from experiencing chronic pain issues.”

Where genuine positivity leaves spaces for pain while searching for light, comparatively, toxic positivity shuts down the conversation and obliterates the beautiful spectrum of our emotions.

Resisting the seductive pull of toxic positivity is exhausting, and sometimes, we fall under its spell before it’s possible to throw up a shield.

“If you’ve succumbed to toxic positivity, consider taking a step back to evaluate why you acquiesced,” said Carissa Hodgson, LCSW, OSW-C, director of programs and community outreach at Bright Spot Network and a clinical social worker. “Is it because you don’t have anyone who can authentically support you? Are you struggling with accepting your feelings about an experience? What is it that you need?”

Building your defenses

“To get rid of toxic positivity, it’s worth asking yourself the question, ‘Why do I feel like I cannot hold space for harder emotions?’” said Underhill.

“It’s also worth remembering that no emotion has a moral value. Emotions are not ‘good’ or ‘bad,’” she added. “Emotions are information that we can learn from and take into account.”

Allow yourself to feel everything you need to feel by granting yourself the gift of patience. There is no better defense against toxic positivity than the freedom to feel your emotions without judging them or suffocating them.

Confronting the toxic positivity around us

Try to practice patience when dealing with toxically positive people. It’s hard when you’re so regularly bombarded with it, but know that they are probably trying to empathize. It’s human instinct to jump straight to suggesting solutions. We all do it, even when it’s unwanted.

“Understand that the person is trying to be helpful,” said Waichler. “Help them to then understand how what they said makes you feel.

“Tell a well-meaning loved one with toxic positivity that you appreciate that they are trying to be supportive and positive about your medical condition,” she continued.

Developing healthier coping mechanisms

It’s crucial to develop additional coping mechanisms that manage the mental impact of chronic illness to resist the lure of toxic positivity long term.

“Educate yourselves about the medical condition and how it will progress so your expectations are realistic,” advised Waichler. “It will help you prepare for changes that will evolve in the future.”

Broaden your circle of friends to ensure that your support network is full of people who will understand your experiences with chronic illness. Your loved ones will support you, but unless they also have a chronic illness, they will struggle to understand. Fellow chronically ill people may be better suited to supporting you without relying on toxic positivity to do so.

However, be wary, too. Even the most well-developed support groups can fall prey to toxic positive influences.

“Toxic positivity is often a trojan horse found in online support groups and discussion boards — seemingly helpful and cheery but completely dismissive of the real struggles people are having,” said Hodgson.

As an additional shield, she suggests that people “Create an empowering mantra that entitles you to your feelings, such as ‘My feelings are real’ or ‘I have a right to feel how I want to feel,’ so when you see a dismissive statement, you can repeat your mantra to yourself and keep on reading.”

Medically reviewed on April 20, 2024

I can see how someone chronically ill can fall deep into the positivity route, it feels good at first but over time it overshadows the reality of being chronically ill. As mentioned in the post, many days suck and we can’t just cover them up as if they don’t exist. I’m all for positive energy but if someone just wants to change your thoughts and act like everything is ok, they are not doing you any favor.

Melinda

Reference:

Chronic Illness · Health and Wellbeing · Infectious Diease · Lyme Disease · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward · Self-Care · Tick Borne Illnesses

Understanding and supporting invisible disabilities, including Lyme disease

Lonnie Marcum

OCT 24, 2024

Invisible disabilities are physical, mental, or neurological conditions that are not immediately apparent to others. Despite being “invisible,” these conditions can significantly impact a person’s life and require special accommodations and ongoing support.

Unlike conditions that other people can see, such as those requiring the use of a wheelchair, invisible disabilities often go unnoticed, leading to misconceptions about a person’s needs.

Examples of common invisible disabilities

  • Dysautonomia, also known as autonomic dysfunction, refers to a condition in which the autonomic nervous system (ANS) does not function properly. The ANS controls many crucial bodily functions, such as heart rate, blood pressure, digestion, temperature regulation, and respiratory rate. When the ANS is impaired, these processes can become dysregulated, leading to a wide range of symptoms.
  • Post-exertional malaise (PEM) where even minor physical or mental exertion can result in severe symptom exacerbation, often lasting days or weeks.
  • Chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS): Fatigue lasting six months or more, and PEM
  • POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome) is a condition characterized by a significant increase in heart rate when a person stands up from a lying down position. It is a form of dysautonomia. People with POTS experience an abnormal response when they move to an upright position, leading to symptoms that can be disabling.
  • Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME): Causes widespread neuro-immune related symptoms including: neuroinflammation, immune dysfunction, muscle pain, headaches, cognitive dysfunction (often described as “brain fog”), dysautonomia, PEM, CFS and POTS.

Patients with Lyme and tick-borne disease are often left with persistent symptoms following treatment. In MyLymeData, now with over 18,000 participants, the three most frequently reported worst symptoms include neurological-associated symptoms (84%), fatigue (62%), and musculoskeletal-associated symptoms (57%).

POTS is the most common manifestation of dysautonomia reported to occur in patients with persistent symptoms of Lyme disease.

Infection-associated chronic conditions

For years, ILADS conferences have been the only place I heard clinicians and researchers expressing an understanding and a desire to help patients with complex, infection-associated chronic conditions (IACC).

In 2021, I reviewed a paper entitled “Recent Progress in Lyme Disease and Remaining Challenges,” co-authored by 31 researchers from 19 separate institutions. That paper felt like a real tipping point to me.

Last week, I watched the final meeting of the CDC/HHS funded “Infection-Associated Chronic Conditions – Understanding and Engagement” (ICUE) project. During that meeting, LymeDisease.org’s Lorraine Johnson, represented and gave voice to the millions of patients living with chronic symptoms following infection with Lyme and/or other tick-borne diseases. (Read her summary of that meeting here)

With all the new collaborations coming out of the National Academies of Science, Engineering and Medicine (NASEM) workshop on “Lyme infection-associated chronic illness or “Lyme IACC,”  I have high hopes for continued progress—not just for patients with chronic Lyme and co-infections, but so many other marginalized illnesses like long-COVID, ME/CFS, and dysautonomia.

Last year, I wrote about the real symptoms suffered by patients with invisible illness.Recently I offered suggestions on how patients can track those symptoms and share them with their doctors  to aid in better diagnosis and treatment.

For everyone out there suffering from an invisible illness: I just want to say that I see you, I hear you, and I believe you.

LymeSci is written by Lonnie Marcum, a physical therapist and mother of a daughter with Lyme. She served two terms on a subcommittee of the federal Tick-Borne Disease Working Group. Follow her on Twitter: @LonnieRhea Email her at: lmarcum@lymedisease.org.

Melinda

Reference:

https://www.lymedisease.org/invisible-disabilities-lyme-disease/

Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward · Survivor · Trauma

Announcing NO MORE Week 2025

I’m excited to share that NO MORE Week 2025 has been set for March 2nd through March 8th, the annual time when thousands of survivors, allies, employers, organizations, colleges, and communities around the world unite for the cause of ending domestic and sexual violence. 

This year, our theme is NO MORE Silence. Every time we break the silence, we destigmatize conversations around domestic and sexual violence and help survivors find support. And, we help to prevent abuse by educating more people about healthy relationships and by creating a culture where abuse is not tolerated.

Now is the time to plan how you can be a part of NO MORE Week 2025. Here are some simple ways to get started:

Join the NO MORE Week Challenge:

Sign up for the NO MORE Week Challenge, a virtual Walk/Run that allows you to choose your distance—5K, 10K, or a half marathon—and complete it at your own pace in March. This year, every dollar raised will go to support victims/survivors of abuse. Rally your friends and family to sponsor your efforts, or form a team to amplify your impact.

Join the Challenge

Attend the NO MORE Week Tech Summit

Save Tuesday, March 4th to attend the 2025 NO MORE Week Tech Summit, “Empowering or Endangering? Tech’s Impact on Domestic and Sexual Violence.”During this free, online conference, global experts will discuss cutting-edge research, policy shifts and product development, providing a wealth of insights and opportunities for action. Early registration is now open! 

Sign Up Now

Use Your Own Platform to Raise Awareness

Create an event – online or in person – to raise awareness on your campus, at work, or in your community. Whether it’s hosting a coffee or happy hour; holding a workplace conversation; or engaging friends on social media, every action will get more people to join the movement. Let us know what you’re planning so we can help amplify your efforts! 

Check out our NO MORE Week 2025 Guide you can use to get more information and ideas. We’re looking forward to uniting once again on March 2nd because we know that we are louder, stronger and more impactful together! Thank you for your continued support.

Get Involved

I’ve signed up for the No More Week Tech Summit, no doubt registration will go fast. I’ll follow up with a post specific to the Tech Summit.

Melinda

Reference:

https://www.nomore.org/email/f68b3e4b-5f24-4b32-9063-7776875bf364/?ref=no-more-newsletter

Chronic Illness · Health and Wellbeing · Infectious Diease · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward

AIDS Awareness Month & History

How My Lyme Doctor diagnosed the first HIV/Aids patient in North Carolina

A second-generation physician from Illinois, curious about medical mysteries (“It’s just like detective work!”), young Dr. Joe Jemsek became an infectious diseases fellow in 1977. In 1979, Jemsek and his young family resettled in Charlotte, North Carolina, where he began a promising infectious disease practice at the renowned Nalle Clinic. Intrigued by reports of a “gay cancer,” Joe’s “detective” instincts led him to diagnose North Carolina’s first case of what would soon be known as HIV/AIDS. As the years went by, he grew absorbed by the AIDS epidemic, bearing witness to some of its most dire casualties — losing patient after patient to opportunistic infections — as well as to the first signs of hope with the advent of life-saving drugs in 1995.

I’m so proud of Dr. Jemsek, he took his knowledge as an Infectious Disease doctor and made history. Due to his commitment more research has been done and the lives on people with HIV/AIDS have improved.

What is HIV?

The human immunodeficiency virus, or HIV, is a virus that attacks the immune system, specifically CD4 cells (or T cells).

The virus is transmitted through bodily fluids such as blood, semen, vaginal fluids, anal fluids, and breast milk. Historically, HIV has most often been spread through unprotected sex, the sharing of needles for drug use, and through birth.

Over time, HIV can destroy so many CD4 cells that the body can’t fight infections and diseases, eventually leading to the most severe form of an HIV infection: acquired immunodeficiency syndrome, or AIDS. A person with AIDS is very vulnerable to cancer and to life-threatening infections, such as pneumonia.

Though there is no cure for HIV or AIDS, a person with HIV who receives treatment early can live nearly as long as someone without the virus. And a study in 2019 in the medical journal, Lancet, showed that an anti-viral treatment effectively halted the spread of HIV.

In September of 1982, the CDC used the term AIDS to describe the disease for the first time. By the end of the year, AIDS cases were also reported in a number of European countries.

Where Did AIDS Come From?

Scientists have traced the origin of HIV back to chimpanzees and simian immunodeficiency virus (SIV), an HIV-like virus that attacks the immune system of monkeys and apes.

In 1999, researchers identified a strain of chimpanzee SIV called SIVcpz, which was nearly identical to HIV. Chimps, the scientist later discovered, hunt and eat two smaller species of monkeys—red-capped mangabeys and greater spot-nosed monkeys—that carry and infect the chimps with two strains of SIV. These two strains likely combined to form SIVcpz, which can spread between chimpanzees and humans.

SIVcpz likely jumped to humans when hunters in Africa ate infected chimps, or the chimps’ infected blood got into the cuts or wounds of hunters. Researchers believe the first transmission of SIV to HIV in humans that then led to the global pandemic occurred in 1920 in Kinshasa, the capital and largest city in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

The virus spread may have spread from Kinshasa along infrastructure routes (roads, railways, and rivers) via migrants and the sex trade.

In the 1960s, HIV spread from Africa to Haiti and the Caribbean when Haitian professionals in the colonial Democratic Republic of Congo returned home. The virus then moved from the Caribbean to New York City around 1970 and then to San Francisco later in the decade.

International travel from the United States helped the virus spread across the rest of the globe.

Advances in Treatment options

DOVATO

Cabenuva

Lenacapavir

islatravir. close to FDA approval

There are older medications that may work for you, talk to your doctor about and come up with a plan that works for you.

Melinda

References:

https://www.history.com/topics/1980s/history-of-aids

Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward · Self-Care

What Are the Signs and Symptoms of Depression in Men?

Men, women, and people of all gender identities may experience depression at some point in their lives. Depression is a serious condition that affects how a person thinks, feels, and acts.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), women seem to experience depression at a higher rate than men. However, it’s thought that men may be underrepresented in these numbers. 

This may be due to mix of social and biological factors that make it more challenging to notice and diagnose depression in men. They may also feel culturally pressured to act “manly” by hiding their emotions.

Because of this, it’s more common for men to have depression with symptoms that are different and sometimes harder to identify. 

If you think that you or someone you love may be struggling with depression, read on to learn about the signs and symptoms that men may experience and what you can do next.

Physical symptoms of depression in men

Men with depression may first notice its physical effects. While depression is thought of as a mental health disorder, it can also manifest in the body. 

Many men are more likely to visit their doctors for physical issues than for emotional issues.

Some common physical signs of depression in men include:

Mental symptoms of depression in men

Mental symptoms of depression may present differently in men than they do in people of other genders, which can make depression harder to detect. 

These symptoms may interfere with the way a person thinks and processes information, affecting behavior and emotions.

Some of the most common mental symptoms of depression in men include: 

  • inability to concentrate
  • memory problems
  • obsessive-compulsive thought patterns
  • racing thoughts
  • sleep issues, usually difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep
  • suicidal thoughts

Emotional symptoms of depression in men

When most people hear the word “depression,” they think of a person who seems very sad. However, sadness is just one of many possible emotions depression can cause. 

In addition to sadness, men may experience the following emotional symptoms of depression: 

  • agitation
  • aggression
  • anger
  • emotional withdrawal from friends, family, and colleagues
  • hopelessness
  • lack of interest in family, community, hobbies, and work
  • lack of libido
  • restlessness

Behavioral signs of depression in men

The mental, physical, and emotional symptoms of depression in men can also affect behavior. Because some men resist discussing their emotions, it’s often their behavioral symptoms of depression that are most apparent to others. 

In men, the behavioral symptoms of depression most commonly include:

  • difficulty meeting work, family, and other personal responsibilities
  • drug misuse
  • drinking alcohol in excess
  • engaging in risky activities, such as driving recklessly or having unprotected sex
  • social isolation
  • suicide attempts

Why can depression go undiagnosed in men?

While discussions around mental health seem to be expanding in reach and compassion, there’s still some cultural and social stigma around depression— particularly among men. 

Generally, men are socialized by society to hold in their emotions, though we know doing so isn’t healthy. In their efforts to maintain these social norms, many men may be compromising their emotional, physical, and mental well-being. 

In addition, many men are never taught to recognize the less typical signs of depression that they’re more likely than others to experience.

Some men never seek help for their depression because they never recognize the signs. On the other hand, some men who do recognize the signs may struggle to discuss their experience because they fear the judgment of others. 

As a result, when many men experience the signs of depression, they begin to work long hours or otherwise fill their time to stay busy, instead of addressing the depression itself. 

Diagnosing depression and seeking treatment can help save lives. Suicide rates are high among men, especially those who have served or currently serve in the military. Additionally, men are three to four times more likely than women to complete suicide.

In continuing to open up the conversation, we can help men with depression recognize the signs. By seeking treatment, men with depression can live their fullest possible lives.

What are the current treatment options?

Depression is most often treated with talk therapy, medications, or both of these things together. A healthcare professional can help create a personalized treatment plan that works best for you. 

Many men begin treatment for moderate cases of depression by scheduling an appointment with a talk therapist (psychotherapist). From there, the therapist might suggest specific types of care, such as: 

From there, medication may be added, if needed.

However, for more severe cases, medication might be prescribed right away to help alleviate some of the physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral symptoms of depression. This may be the case for someone with suicidal thoughts or who has attempted suicide.

Antidepressants such as paroxetine (Paxil) or sertraline (Zoloft) are commonly used to treat depression. However, a mental healthcare professional may also suggest other medications. 

Be aware that these medications often take several weeks to months or begin making a noticeable difference in the way you feel. Be patient and stick closely to the treatment plan. 

When to seek help

If you’re experiencing one or more of the above symptoms of depression to the point that it interferes with your daily life, consider scheduling an appointment to meet with a mental health counselor. 

Most insurance plans provide coverage for such counseling, and receiving care is discreet and confidential.

If you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, plan to attempt, or have attempted suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255, or dial 911.

The takeaway

While recent conversations around mental health have become more candid and inclusive, many men still find it difficult to talk about their emotions in a society that upholds traditional views about men. 

It can also be challenging to identify the symptoms of depression in men, which are influenced by those same social factors as well as male biology.

By sharing knowledge about the symptoms of depression in men, we can help clear a pathway toward better, more inclusive mental healthcare.

With talk therapy, medication, or a combination of these two things, depression becomes a much more manageable part of the human experience.

Melinda

Reference:

 

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward

Voting-Make Your Voice Heard!

No responsibility of government is more fundamental than the responsibility of maintaining the highest standard of ethical behavior for those who conduct the public business. John F. Kennedy

That is one of the smartest things I’ve heard from any President.

Many will vote for a Presidential candidate and only for a particular party, not looking at both candidates to see who is best for America. For America to shift gears, we all must vote for who we think is best for America for the next four years. Every voice needs to be heard.

Be aware of

Last Presidential election some Republican volunteers were very aggressive at some polling places across the country. The worst story I saw on the news was about volunteers being aggressive by taking photos of people’s vehicles and license tags, taking photos of their children, getting in their faces yelling obscenities, and making threats. I didn’t experience that and I don’t think it was widespread but it is clearly voter intimidation. If you experience any intimidation tell the Polling Manager and call the police. We can’t tolerate this type of behavior.

Every American has the right to vote, please use your voice to help shape the next four years.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Chronic Illness · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward

LGBTQ+ History Month

We are all different, yet we’re the same. I understand that many religions condemn any behavior that doesn’t fit their box and some are driven strongly by their religion. What we must not lose sight of is that we are equal.

The Early Gay Rights Movement in America

In 1924, Henry Gerber, a German immigrant, founded in Chicago the Society for Human Rights, the first documented gay rights organization in the United States. During his U.S. Army service in World War I, Gerber was inspired to create his organization by the Scientific-Humanitarian Committee, a “homosexual emancipation” group in Germany.

Gerber’s small group published a few issues of its newsletter “Friendship and Freedom,” the country’s first gay-interest newsletter. Police raids caused the group to disband in 1925—but 90 years later, the U.S. government designated Gerber’s Chicago house a National Historic Landmark.

Where and when is LGBTQ History Month Celebrated?

In the United States, LGBTQ History Month is celebrated every October. Canada and Australia also celebrate it this month. It is also recognized in the United Kingdom (in February), Hungary (in February), Finland (in November), and Berlin (in June).

And this past year in May, Cuba became the first country in Latin America to celebrate it. Italy also celebrated its first one this year in April.

How It Started

Every October, people around the world celebrate LGBT History Month, a time to honor the contributions and achievements of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people.

The first LGBT History Month wound up sparking over 150 events across the country in its first year, and the rest, as they say, is history.

There are endless LGBTQ figures to honor this month, but here a few icons to start with:

  • Bayard Rustin, who organized the March on Washington in 1963, where Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech took place
  • Angela Davis, a radical political activist
  • James Beard, a closeted chef who was once as famous for American cooking as Julia Child was for French cuisine
  • Harvey Milk,  famed out activist who became one of America’s first gay elected officials and was assassinated
  • Sylvia Rivera and Marsha P. Johnson, trans rights activists who helped start the Stonewall Uprising
  • Lorraine Hansberry, award winning playwright and author of  A Raisin in the Sun
  • Sally Ride, the first woman astronaut in space
  • Marlon Riggs, award-winning filmmaker, educator, poet, and activist

This article about violence within LGBTQ relationships was eye-opening! 

https://www.nomore.org/shattering-the-silence-intimate-partner-violence-within-lgbtq-relationships/

Food for Thought

The next time you’re in a room with six people, think about this:

You may think the information isn’t relevant to the posts but it is when you consider all the people affected.

Resources:

EQUAL

Melinda

References:

https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2022/10/celebrating-lgbtq-history-month-started-matters/

LGBTQ Resource List