To say that kids can be cruel is an understatement, and the impact is has on the recipient can be painfully damaging to say the least. Having a stoma can be hard for anyone. I can only imagine what it’s like for a child. 10 year old Steven Bridges in Kentucky hanged himself. He went […]
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If your daughter is approaching puberty you have an important task ahead. The better prepared her for the upcoming biological changes, the easier her transition to womanhood will be.
Mothers and daughters together can learn about the biological, medical and practical lifestyle aspects of menstruation from an OB/GYN on Staff at Medical Center of Plano.
We are blogging from every corner of the world, maybe a hospital or medical center near you has similar information. You could always start a group to educate girls in smaller areas. If lucky you’re mother set a good example of what to expect and embrace the changes. M
Thanks for sharing the words of wisdom. Have a great day.
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I’m sitting at a busy lunch table full of sixth graders. There is energy you can’t put your finger on and a deafening hum that continues from the first lunch all the way to the last. All 150 students are engaged in the same activity at the same time: communicating. With each word expressed in this lunchroom, lessons are being learned that will be filed away and used the next time there is a similar social situation. Sound confusing and overwhelming to keep up with? Just ask one of these sixth graders, and they will tell you that it absolutely is!
Teachers in middle school will often comment that being with their students from one day to another is like playing tug-of-war. For every day a student makes progress, the next day he or she might fall behind, have a behavioral slip-up, and/or refuse to work. Parents might say they have never seen their children so sullen at times, and they miss the carefree nature of their son or daughter. However, these things only mean that adolescents are acting appropriately for their age.
Middle schoolers are constantly making big connections, which lead to big lessons. These students will leave the lunchroom and continue communicating their way through endless life lessons until they can stand on their own two feet and approach independence. It’s going to be rocky at times, but if students can pick up the right tools along the way, they will be able to face challenges and overcome obstacles with ease. Luckily, they have supportive adults to help them learn how to navigate through struggle and resolve conflicts throughout these tumultuous years!
Conflict and a Changing Mind
Because middle school students are fighting for their place in adulthood, they need to have a lot of practice with properly resolving conflict. This not only smooths out the edges of their communication, but it also gives them plenty of practice to work out issues within themselves. In elementary school, it was more socially acceptable to react emotionally to express dissatisfaction. In leaving the uninhibited freedom of childhood, adolescents are entering a whole new set of social standards to live by. The desire to fit in grows stronger, and they have to learn how to do so while retaining their true selves.
Positive conflict resolution helps the adolescent join the old self and the new self. Conflict resolution skills are essential to gaining empathy, learning to get along with others, and seeing that one can overcome obstacles peacefully. Every time a student is involved in conflict resolution, a piece of her or his expanding life puzzle is put into place, and the adolescent gets closer to achieving stability. Middle school students’ behavior is mainly driven by inner conflicts and simultaneous battles with peers and society. Conflict resolution doesn’t just occur between two people; it occurs between one preteen and the world. (Okay, that might be a little dramatic, but hey, when in Rome!)
Embrace the Rebellion
Ever met an adult who didn’t go through an animal-rights or antiestablishment phase? From protesting processed foods to boycotting certain brands of makeup, adolescents question what was previously accepted and make room for reformed opinions. This often comes to the counselor’s office with students who are taking a stand against a friend. To an adult, quarreling adolescents might look as if they are fighting over nothing, but these fights are often part of students’ changing belief systems. At home, rebellion might happen in the form of a student who refuses to do homework because she or he would rather play video games. In other words, conflict between what the student should do and what the student wants to do. In each of these conflicts, students can benefit from learning how to find common ground with others and how to think through consequences.
The Arguing Is Good
Think of the verbal and nonverbal communication you used with your parents when you were in middle school. The eye rolls, the groans, the disgusted facial cues, oh my! These hallmarks of adolescent communication might make us adults rip out our hair, but they are actually healthy signs that students are searching for an identity that is separate from that of their parents. By constantly questioning and exploring the world around them, they are making cognitive, personhood, moral, and social connections. As this happens with authority figures, ever-shifting friendships, environment, and peers, students can learn healthy ways to embrace change and accept others.
Working Through the Turmoil
Perspective is by far one of the greatest things anyone can learn from conflict. Students who are in a social conflict gain empathy by trying to see things from another person’s point of view. I always remind students that understanding someone else’s perception of something is not admitting defeat or excusing what they have done to you. Switching perspectives is simply taking a step back and closely evaluating where some lines of communication may have been crossed or misconstrued.
How can educators and parents best provide an environment that will help adolescents through this rough time? Give students space to work things out on their own. Provide a safe space and a compassionate mirror for them to view themselves through. Once a resolution has been reached, walk back through what worked to reinforce the lesson learned. Common conflict resolution steps are stating your experience, listening to the experience of others, finding middle ground, and making commitments to aid future behaviors. By breaking down the steps with students, you can teach them to take a step back and view the situation through a more inclusive lens.
Know When There Are Other Things in the Mix
While conflict is a natural part of adolescence, strong defiant behaviors might also be a window into more serious troubles that are brewing. Though it is natural for a young student to battle for autonomy, overly argumentative behavior might mean an adolescent is struggling with a deeper loss of control. It’s here that a counselor might ask pointed questions to elicit some information and see if there is another layer to the frustration. My go-tos are:
Frustration and rebellion are a natural part of adolescent changes, but it is important to also gauge when students are crying out for help in a situation that is beyond their ability to tackle. Resolving conflict breeds resilience and culminates in healthy individuals who can handle obstacles and work peacefully with their environment. While developing these skills, adolescents will experience failures but will also find surprising and rewarding successes.
Stephanie Filio is a middle school counselor in Virginia Beach. She received her undergraduate degree in interdisciplinary studies from the University of Virginia and her M.Ed. in counseling from Old Dominion University. In a discussion with one of her UVA professors about her desire to stay in school forever, her mentor wisely responded, “If you want to be a lifelong learner, go into education,” and so she found her place. Prior to her six years as a school counselor, Stephanie worked in private education, specializing in standardized tests, test preparation, and future planning. She writes about her career and hobbies at her blog,Weekend Therapy, and can be found on Twitter @steffschoolcoun. Stephanie also enjoys spending time with her books, crafts, and family.
Have a great day.
One of the hardest things that I had to face as an adult is forgiveness. When I think about how hard it is, I ask myself why it is worth it? The things that we face in life at the hands of others can be painful; however, to gain healing requires us to forgive. As I […]
Beautiful, I love the blend of colors, the small detail are perfect. You skills are improving everyday. I’ll have to check out the store. :)
Available in my Society6 shop …
No one knows what their kid will do, drink, drugs, hang with wrong crowd, all of those things and happen and parents can’t point fingers. You do everything for your kids. You do everything you can for your kids. :)
This is a true story of one of 12 year old Brother’s recent panic attacks. He has several diagnostic “labels” that have been formally used to explain the behaviors and guide treatment: Schizotypal Personality Disorder, Autism with PTSD, and , Generalized Anxiety.
We joined a local fitness club recently. Both AoA kids are old enough to use equipment in the workout area (with adult supervision). They had to take a short orientation class with a trainer in order to be allowed to do this. I signed up and put it on the family calendar. Both kids were fine about doing this.
The time came to go to the center. Both kids were fine. When we arrived, we all walked in together with no problem. We were directed to wait with a few others, until the trainer arrived. Brother took one look at the few people sitting in the waiting area…
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Zoomie word of the week.
Instead of looking for a definition, it’s time to wing it. I could see my nick name being Zoomie because walking at 10 months old created an unwanted road race my mother was not ready for. As a young girl Zoomie would fit my curiosity for all things behind doors. In kindergarten I snuck into the Janitor’s maintenance room and found large buckets of paint. I pried the lid off of one, it was solid on top, my little mind went “how far down is it dried”. I found out quickly not very far, just to the top of my arm. Imagine the Supervisors surprise when all the others are taking naps and I’m covered in paint.
Join us for the fun and sharing good media stories
One sheriff’s department is going above and beyond the call of duty, using stuffed animals to comfort kids in traumatic situations. Deputy Turner Barran, of Louisiana’s Jefferson Parish Sheriff’s Office, talks about the impact of Barran’s Bears.
https://www.today.com/video/barran-s-bears-how-police-are-spreading-cheer-to-kids-1429821507843
Join us the last Friday of each month spending good news with a special story that moved your heart.
~~~GUIDELINES~~~
I wish I would’ve known about mental health conditions when I was a teenager. If I had, I may have told someone about my frightening and strange panic attack symptoms. I could’ve received medical help much earlier than I did. But I was embarrassed and didn’t want to be different. To me, it wasn’t an […]
via Spreading Mental Health Awareness: One Teen at a Time — Peace from Panic
First canned beer goes on sale
Canned beer makes its debut on this day in 1935. In partnership with the American Can Company, the Gottfried Krueger Brewing Company delivered 2,000 cans of Krueger’s Finest Beer and Krueger’s Cream Ale to faithful Krueger drinkers in Richmond, Virginia. Ninety-one percent of the drinkers approved of the canned beer, driving Krueger to give the green light to further production.
1967 Aretha Franklin’s career is reborn
“Respect,” “Chain of Fools,” and “(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman” are the passionate, gospel-charged classics with which Aretha Franklin is most closely associated. They were enormous, career-defining hits that earned her universal and eternal acclaim as the Queen of Soul, among other, more formal honors. What some fans may not realize, however, is that when Aretha recorded those hits, she was already 10 years into a professional career that would have been defined very differently had it ended before January 24, 1967. That was the date on which Aretha Franklin’s career was effectively reborn in a historic recording session at Muscle Shoals Sound Studios in Sheffield, Alabama.
1871 Albert Erskine, Studebaker chief, is born
Albert Erskine became the president of Studebaker in 1915. Under his leadership, the company acquired luxury automaker Pierce-Arrow in the late 1920s and launched the affordably priced but short-lived Erskine and Rockne lines, the latter of which was named for the famous University of Notre Dame football coach Knute Rockne (1888-1931). During the early 1930s, Studebaker was hit hard by the Great Depression and Erskine was accused of financial mismanagement. In March 1933, the company was forced into bankruptcy.
1940 “The Grapes of Wrath”, directed by John Ford and based on John Steinbeck‘s novel of the same name, starring Henry Fonda and Jane Darwell, is released
Birthdays
1862 Edith Wharton [-Jones], Pulitzer prize-winning novelist (Ethan Frome, House of Mirth), born in NYC, New York (d. 1937)
1917 Ernest Borgnine, American actor (Ice Station Zebra, McHale’s Navy, Marty), born in Hamden, Connecticut (d. 2012)
1918 Oral Roberts, Pontotoc County Oklahoma, American Televangelist, founder Oral Roberts College
1941 Neil Diamond, American singer–songwriter, born in Brooklyn, New York
1949 John Belushi, American comedian and actor (SNL, Blues Brothers), born in Chicago, Illinois (d. 1982)
My father committed suicide in 1992, put a shot-gun in his mouth. I was 28 years old, we were estranged since I was a teen. A trigger hit me like a hurricane this week. I’m having memories, not the worst.
You put the the pressure on my shoulders to arrange everything, who to call. I had to face the chore of the house, a man living out of touch for many years. Worst was going to morgue, hand me original note and his bloody shotgun.
Could you not see your friends were different? They were thieves but not in the same universe. They all took advantage of you, move in move out and steal what they want. One roommate committed suicide with your gun in your house. Down on their luck, will make payments on car, he was lucky to get three payments. He would have to track down and repo the car. They would come back begging and he would do it again.
His friends were people at the bar he parked cars at. All the ladies got special attention, my father walked the lot to make sure the cars were secure. They all flirted with him, fake flirting, trashy bar, easy women going to bar in the hood looking for love.
One night feeling the black dog, I went to the bar where my father parked cars. We played a game of pool, sitting at the bar he said you’re a queen, I said it’s easy to be the queen of scum. I felt dirty. I judged my father just like the company he kept.
Tamanu oil is derived from the Tamanu tree, which originates in the Polynesian islands, tropical Southeast Asia, south India, and the tropical African Coast. With antioxidants, antibacterial, anti-inch, and healing properties, it has been used for skin care as well as hair care. The smell is slightly sweet and someone nutty, the color is greenish-yellow, and the shelf life is normally two years, depending on how it’s stored. Here are eight ways this oil benefits your overall health.
Before using Tamanu oil, test it on a small area of your skin to make sure you’re not allergic or sensitive to it.
Avoid using Tamanu oil if you have a tree nut allergy.
For deep, infected wounds, please seek immediate care from a healthcare provider.
Melinda
Reference:
Willow & Sage
Thank you for sharing the great information. Have a great day.
Last week I expanded my CBD options from oil to qummies and vaping (supplements and cream are in route). I purchased two packages of Kraton, still researching before I put in my body. National Geographic and Anthony Burdain with The Travel Channel went deep in the rainforest and others places only reached by boat. The locals ate leaves which took them higher than high. They offered crew a small amount of leaf to eat, as the effects hit the crew, the locals were laughing.
I have not tried Kraton yet, more research is needed before it goes in my body. The gummies are 2500mg and very sweet, the oil takes at least six months, so I’ll let you know on that. Vaping was very interesting, as a reformed smoker it was strange to puff in the CBD. From what I can see in my limited time is there are very CBD products to the expensive. My goal is to learn the differences and not waste money on nice packaging. I bought three vaps for $25 dollars, see in the photo, each is used for desired result.
I also bought one vap for $60, the expected outcome for pain. One difference was evident right away, the taste. The lower priced ones smelled terrible and left a horrible taste in your mouth. The $60 Wildflavor Vap taste great, left no smell in the house and even my husband agreed I could smoke it in the house.
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This is my first go participating Stream of Consciousness Saturday #SoSC, if I miss something please point it out, nicely. :)
Television was a step closer to the internet by way of seeing images for the first time. Much like the radio brought words to books. I’ve seen photos and painting of people gathered around the radio, more imagination is needed to listen and draw the story in your mind.
I had two favorite shows, Popeye and Gunsmoke. Sounds like a strange combo, I was a grandpa’s girl and Gunsmoke was his show. Looking at both now and then, it’s often the good guys against the bad.
Melinda
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Everything you should know about the bumpy red skin on your arms called keratosis pilaris. Lumpy, bumpy limbs are not just the preserve of oven-ready poultry. ‘Chicken Skin’, Keratosis pilaris affects as many as 1 in 3 of us1.It tends to run in families and although it’s harmless, it can be unsightly. Unfortunately, there’s still […]
Thank you for stopping by today, have a safe and happy weekend. M
In a particularly difficult season of depression, photography was one of the tools Tara Wray used to cope.
“Just forcing myself to get out of my head and using the camera to do that is, in a way, a therapeutic tool,” says Wray, a photographer and filmmaker based in central Vermont. “It’s like exercise: You don’t want to do it, you have to make yourself do it, and you feel better after you do.”
In July, she published Too Tired for Sunshine, a book of her photos from that period, taken between 2011 and 2018. Some of the images show a stark beauty, others a raw loneliness, and some capture hints that the world may be slightly off-kilter.
Photographically, Wray says she’s drawn to light, the honesty of dogs and “things that are humorous and maybe aren’t trying to be.” Making these images helped keep her buoyant.
Having a camera functions as “a sort of protection, a buffer that gives me a reason to be somewhere,” she says. “It helps me move through an environment with a purpose when I might otherwise feel out of place.”
And, like exercise, photography provides a kind of release. “When I’ve made what I think is a good picture, I can feel it, and everything else momentarily falls away.”
Through creative expression, Wray says she’s able to focus her “ruminating or obsessing” into “something bigger.”
“There were moments that I felt alone and isolated in a dark place, and I wondered if I would see the other side of it,” she says. “Photography has given me those moments back … I can now see them in a different light.”
At the same time, Wray stresses that photography isn’t her only tool.
“You’ve gotta have a whole arsenal of things to deal with mental illness, and I try to do all the things I can to stay healthy,” she says, adding that she knows she is fortunate to have a supportive family and access to therapy, medication and good doctors.
In 1929, His an iconic rascal endearing to history, a fictional hero. His name is Popeye the Sailor Man. Popeye was created by Elzie Crisler Sega and syndicated by the New York Journal for the Thimble Theatre Page, through King Features, on December 19, 1919.
Jan. 17, 1961, President Dwight D. Eisenhower delivered his farewell address in which he warned against “the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex.
In 1984, the U.S. Supreme Court, in Sony Corp. of America v. Universal City Studios, Inc., ruled 5-4 that the use of home video cassette recorders to tape television programs for private viewing did not violate federal copyright laws.
Happy Birthday
1706 Benjamin Franklin, US Founding Father, inventor, ambassador and writer (Poor Richards Almanac), born in Boston, Massachusetts (d. 1790)
1880 Mack Sennett, movie creator (Keystone Kops)
1882 Arnold Rothstein, American gambler and mobster (fixed 1919 World Series), born in NYC, New York (d, 1928)
1899 Al Capone, American gangster (Chicago bootlegging), born in Brooklyn, New York
1900 George Sperti, American inventor (Preparation H), born in Covington, Kentucky (d. 1991)
1922 Betty White [Ludden], American actress and comedian with the longest TV career of a female entertainer (The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Golden Girls), born in Oak Park Illinois
My week is running in second gear, I wish better for you. Waldo is up to playing with the Reblog button, I don’t even contact Support anymore. If you are having problem will you give me a shout out, let me know I’m not alone on this wacky Wednesday. M
I follow 49 charities and organizations on Twitter to get a close-up view affecting the people and issues closest to me. The National Center on Elder Abuse is a great resource to learn the laws elders have and don’t have. Pressing issues like medical and housing concerns.
The NCEA provides the latest information regarding research, training, best practices, news and resources on elder abuse, neglect and exploitation to professionals and the public. First established by the U.S. Administration on Aging (AoA) in 1988 as a national elder abuse resource center, the NCEA was granted a permanent home at AoA in the 1992 amendments made to Title II of the Older Americans Act.
The NCEA is one of 27 Administration on Aging-funded Resource Centers. Research shows that as many as two million elders are abused in the United States. The Administration on Aging recognizes that as a government, as a society and as individuals, we must increase our efforts to insure that all older adults age with dignity and honor.
The National Center on Elder Abuse is a program of the U.S. Administration on Aging, with grants awarded to the following agencies to carry out the Center’s activities:
The Keck School of Medicine of the University of Southern California is proud to be working with these sub-grantees to reach our primary audiences (seniors, caregivers, and the aging network) and to meet other important deliverables for the NCEA.
Ideas.Ted.com
Jan 8, 2019 / Carly Alaim
Every weekday for the month of January, TED Ideas will publish a new post in a series called “How to Be a Better Human,” containing a helpful piece of advice from a speaker in the TED community. To see all the posts in the series, click here.
Quick survey: What’s the worst part of apologizing?
A) Working up the courage to admit we were wrong.
B) Standing in front of the other person and saying that we’re sorry.
C) Waiting for a reaction from the other person after we’ve spoken.
You’re on your own with the first and third parts, but Jahan Kalantar, a criminal defense attorney in Sydney, Australia, is here to assist with the second.
In his profession, apologies matter a great deal. “I’m talking about the difference between going to jail and going home, the difference between seeing your children twice a year or twice a week,” says Kalantar.
But even when there’s a lot at stake, and even when you feel genuine remorse, you may still find it hard to apologize, searching for the perfect words that, as Kalantar puts it “communicate vulnerability and gratitude.”
He suggests a simple “why-because-and” framework.
For example: “I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to your housewarming party …” or “I’m sorry I handed in my proposal one day late …”
For example: “… because I know you were so excited to show me your home …” or “… because I know you need those numbers to figure out the budget …”
For example: “… and when you have another party, I’ll be there.” or “… and I’ll send you the report tomorrow and I’ll be sure to meet all future deadlines.”
Kalantar’s method identifies what went wrong, acknowledges fault, and then points towards a solution. In cases such as a silver-wedding anniversary dinner, there is no obvious and to offer, but you can say something like “… and I’d love to celebrate with you and Mary in the future.”
Through your words and tone of voice, you should make it clear that you’ve thought about your actions and you’re truly sorry. “The next time you make a mistake … don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and authentic, because the power of any message is how honest of a place it starts its journey,” says Kalantar.
Watch his TEDxSydney talk here:
Looking for the Light 