I’m 5 ft 7 inches and was a normal weight until I turned 28 years old. At 28 I was diagnosed with Treatment-Resistant Bipolar Disorder and Anxiety. The diagnosis wasn’t a huge surprise since my father had committed suicide months earlier and we both had struggled with depression. One of the downsides of having a mental illness is that many medications make you gain weight, with each medication I tried, it was 20-25 pounds. That can weigh you down but I learned quickly that my vanity was not as important as my mental health.
I tend to be more depressive than manic so my protocol includes many stimulant medications. There were many times I would lose large amounts of weight and was skinny again. Although short-lived, once your body adjusts to the stimulants the weight loss stops. The last medication that brought me out of a deep depression caused me to gain 40 pounds and it took effort to lose that amount of weight. I lollygagged for a couple of years until I went to see one of my doctors and had to weigh. I was shocked at what the scale said.
You also need to know I have some baggage here because my mother is obese and my abuser. I wanted to be nothing like her, I must have seen her that day on the scale.
I was determined to lose weight the right way this time, with no diet, no program food just eating what I liked but in smaller portions. I set a goal of losing 40 pounds with 50 pounds in the background. First, I cut all meals in half and cut out snacking unless I was truly hungry. When I needed a snack it was nuts because they are good for you.
The first 20 pounds were hard but not nearly as hard as the next 20 pounds. After reaching 20 pounds, I cut my meals in 1/3 and continued to eat a piece of chocolate at lunch and dinner. I also allowed myself dessert on the weekends. There was no depriving myself of the foods I loved, my diet didn’t change just the amount of food I was eating.
Last August, I had reached my goal of 40 pounds and was working on 10 more pounds. Then life got in the way. I was hospitalized in December of 2023 and had a traumatizing experience by being told that my kidneys were shutting down and that I would not live until my check-out date. Logically I knew better but we were in complete shock. I called my brother to say goodbye which was very difficult and my husband and I just cradled each other. A short time later, I came to my senses and said there was no way my GFR was 20! Of course not, a lazy lab tech didn’t run the test a second time and the doctor didn’t even question it. I never received an apology.
After leaving the hospital I continued to lose weight and after 25 months I am 70 pounds down. Being this skinny is not a choice, you would be surprised at what I eat although I can’t eat as much as I did in the beginning but that’s expected. I’ve been having major issues with my Esophagus for a couple of months and a month after going to the ER, I’m worse. I’m taking two additional medications but still have problems eating or keeping food down. It doesn’t seem to be as urgent to my doctor. I’m still working on it.
Yes, you can lose weight the right way without restricting yourself and in turn, sabotaging your efforts. There are no shortcuts, no quick fixes, and only one permanent solution. Set your goal for the long term, change your eating habits, and pay attention to why you eat and enjoy yourself at the same time. I can’t imagine lunch or dinner without chocolate, I just eat one piece.
You can do it.
Melinda
Looking for the Light 