Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series. I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week I highlight the blog of Mental Notes 1.
I am a sucker for love and a sob story; I am definitely for the underdog. I am a little weird but very loving, I am perfectly imperfect but shhhh, don’t tell anyone, I wrote a poetry book called Mental Notes in 2011 about addiction and all the insanity associated with it. I have randomly been posting pieces of the book to the blog. Here is the Kindle link for a preview http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005SFS54U/ref=rdr_kindle_ext_tmb
The blog is new to me but from looking at her blog, she writes poetry and many other topics. She also has two books published. Be sure to check her blog out.
St. Patrick’s Day is a celebration held every year on March 17. Originally a religious feast day (the “Feast of Saint Patrick”, the foremost patron saint of Ireland), it has developed into a celebration of Irish heritage and culture generally. It is celebrated with festivals, parades, and dancing by the Irish diaspora in many countries around the world. It is customary to wear green clothing or accessories, the color most associated with Ireland. The Lenten restriction of fasting is lifted for this day, encouraging the consumption of alcohol.
I only knew that the celebration was to drink more beer, mostly green. Now that I know it is religious it was a celebration I will take note.
I don’t drink anymore but I’ve had fun in the past.
My brother and I called our stepfather a Nazi because he was mostly German and he would beat our mother unmercifully. Her crimes as we knew were not having dinner ready or not warm enough. The kids were too loud, noise was not allowed in the house, and he was an alcoholic with major control issues. I was 9 years old, my brother six & half years old, and our two step-brothers were much younger. They came to live with us after Houston Social Services found my stepfather the better parent. Of the choices, he was.
Their mother was a drug addict. He never saw the boys after the divorce. By the time they were in the court system, they had been left at home for up to two weeks with no food, nothing. The youngest in the same diaper. The youngest experienced trauma so severely that he regressed to a baby. Her addiction took over her life for that matter she may have forgotten she had kids until she came down enough.
I hated my stepfather from the beginning, he didn’t wait to start controlling everything. He rarely talked to my mother it was always yelling. It was very complicated for me. I hated my mother for abusing me but it still hurt when he beat her. We had a long hallway that passed our bedrooms. When he was out of control he would walk my mother down the hall hitting her head and body from side to side down the hallway. The hallway ended in front of my bedroom, it was hell on earth.
One night my life changed for the worse. She was screaming, pleading to stop, you could hear her head banging on the walls. He kept saying he was going to kill her. It wasn’t the first time he had threatened but something in her voice was different. They stopped in front of my bedroom. I was so scared, I cracked the door and he had a knife to her throat a little blood falling down her neck. I knew he was going to kill her, I couldn’t sit there and listen. Then what would he do after that? I’m 9 years old, more mature for my age but a child. I struggled with guilt for leaving her to die but I could not hear her cry anymore. I took the nine dollars I had saved and ran away. I thought my mother was going to die, but I didn’t think about the consequences. He’s yelling with a knife to her throat, she thought she was going to die by the look on her face.
I rode my bike a couple of miles to my boyfriend’s house. His parents were so normal. They offered me something to drink and eat, put a blanket around me, and let me tell the story. They said I could stay for a while to let things cool down at home but they would have to call my mother. I didn’t think my life could get worse, wrong. At 9 years old it spiralled straight to hell that night.
My mother drove up, I knew the beating would start the minute I got in the car. We turned the corner and she started laying into me barely staying on the road. When we arrived home, I’d reached the point of not feeling the pain. I believe if nothing else happened to me, this night alone would have fuck me up bad.
I think about what another mother would have done. Hugged their child right away, acknowledged how confusing and painful it must have been, and explained it was not the child’s fault. I never had normal. I tried to kill myself every chance possible from that day forward. I cut my wrist deep at school, God wouldn’t let me go. I endured much worse until I left home.
I prayed for God to let me go. I had no more fight in me. God had more lessons for me to learn. Looking back I’m so thankful. I would not have been able to create a close-to-normal life. More importantly, I wouldn’t have been able to hold my grandmother’s hand as she died. I cared for my grandfather as he was dying.
The only time I’ve cried is thinking about my grandparents. They were the only two people who loved me unconditionally. God built my strength, I could be there for them and the person I am today.
All of the above is collateral damage, I packed away. I see a Therapist where I can talk about the past. We focus on my fears as an adult. If you’re a Survivor of abuse, I hold out my hand and give you a hug.
Apply the walnut oil on your entire abdomen. Drop the essential oils on top of the carrier oil, and start massaging your belly. Place the palm of your dominant hand above belly button and with the other hand on top. Starting at the lower right abdoment, slowly rub your abdomen with both hands in a clockwise direction 20-30 times. Move your hands below your rib cage on either side of torso, and massage in a downward direction 5-6 times. Finish by kneading your abdomen in a circular in a circular motion 3-4 times, again in a clockwise direction. Start to massagebelly on the first day of period, before you feel any cramps beginning, if possible. After the massage, you can place a hot water bottle on your belly to keep it even more relaxed and calm.
“Cashews are frequently used in dairy-free products because they provide a texture similar to dairy without tasting like a nut,” Shaw says. “Cashew cream can easily be made with cashews, water, and salt.” If you can’t eat nuts, pureed white beans work similarly.
Best In: sauces, mousses, salad dressings
Dairy-Free Milk + Olive Oil
Once blended, this combo mimics the higher fat content that gives heavy cream its thick, silky texture and taste. Shaw says-but it’s not a one-for-one substitute, so you’ll have to add it in stages until you get the consistency you’re looking for.
Best In: sauces, soups, stews
Coconut Cream
It’s like a thicker, creamier coconut milk, and you’ll want to buy it sweetened or unsweetened depending on what you are using it for. If you can’t find it or already have full-fat coconut milk on hand, you can DIY it. “Place the coconut milk can upside down in the fridge overnight, then drain to remove the milk solids. Place the solids in a chilled bowl and whip with a hand or stand mixer until light and fluffy.” Shaw says.
Best In: mousses, whipped cream, sauces, curries
Silkin Tofu + Plant Milk
“This combination is a great alternative and can be made by blending equal parts of each-plus, it boosts the protein of your recipe,” saw Shaw. It’s also lower in fat than heavy cream but still delivers the vibe you’re looking for.
The family cookbook contains recipes, my Gramps & Granny used often and is the type of food I grew up on. Good ole Southern food like my Gramps dumplings, to Grannies pecan pie.
I can’t say how this tastes because I will not eat kraut.
What You Need
1 cup chopped onions
1 cup chopped green pepper
1 cup chopped celery
1 TSB salt
1 larger can of Kraut using the juice
1 can pimentos
3/4 cup salad oil
1 1/4 sugar
How To Make
Mix together and let stand in the refrigerator for at least 24 hours before using.
The family cookbook contains recipes, my Gramps & Granny used often and is the type of food I grew up on. Good ole Southern food like my Gramps dumplings, to Grannies pecan pie.
What You Need
1/4 cup water
2 cups light brown sugar
1/3 cup margarine
1 1/2 cups pecans
How To Make
Boil water and ingredients and boil for 5 more minutes
Take off stove
Beat for one minute
Drop on wax paper or foil and cool
Remove after it hardens
These are out of this world! We all looked forward to her Pralenes.
I went to one of his concerts with my friend and we danced most of the night. Steve is one of my favorites.
I’m so glad you’ve joined me this week for another edition of Weekend Music Share.
Have a great weekend!
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
The family cookbook contains recipes, my Grandparents used often and is the type of food I grew up on. Good ole Southern food like dumplings, and pecan pie. Some recipes have been passed down or from other family members recipe.
Ingredients
1 stick butter
1 cup sugar
1 cup quick oatmeal
1 egg
2 tb. vanilla
2 tsp. flour
1 cup finely chopped pecans
Cookie sheet
How To Make
Cream butter and sugar until combined
Add egg, and vanilla, and blend.
Add oatmeal, flour, and nuts, and mix until combined
Use a teaspoon to measure with
Drop mixture 2 inches apart on a folded lined cookie sheet
Bake in a preheated oven at 350 degrees for 12 to 15 minutes until golden brown.
Telling someone you grew up in West Dallas is like saying it was a slum. It was a slum on the outskirts of Dallas. People were living in tents, and it was a time when gangsters hid there for cover.
I had two family members who were gangsters, they were my Granny’s brothers. One only robbed banks and spent many years in a Texas Federal Prison. The other brother was hanging around Bonnie & Clyde, the Hamilton brothers, and who knows who else. I don’t have all the stories about that time but know the second uncle was killed by cyanide in Granny’s house in my old bedroom.
One trick the gangsters used was to buy nice suits and all the trimmings. This made fitting in with the people in Dallas easier. They would learn about businesses by watching for a few days and then make their approach.
This is something about my life
I was born on January 19, 1921. They named me Ruth Bernice. I was born in West Dallas on County Avenue. I had three brothers and one sister.
We had a really good life until my Daddy died in 1930. After that, we had a really hard life. We had nothing and barely survived.
I got married at 17 years old and separated when her son was 1 year old. After the divorce, I moved back to West Dallas with her mother.
Why she wrote this I have no idea, maybe to make sure I knew the information or maybe just bored. My Granny didn’t share much, but I already knew her background.
It’s a treasure to me now.
I loved that period and admired one of her gangster brothers. I have one of his guns. There are so many questions I would like to ask.
Let’s talk about something that might not be the most glamorous topic but is super important: cleaning. Yep, keeping our workspaces clean and tidy is crucial, but have you ever thought about how the products we use could affect not only our health but also the environment? That’s where green commercial cleaning comes in, and trust me, it’s not just another trend – it’s a game-changer for businesses looking to make a positive impact while keeping things spick and span.
Why Green Cleaning Rocks
Okay, so why should you care about switching to green commercial cleaning products? Well, first off, traditional cleaning products can contain some pretty nasty stuff – you know, the kind of chemicals that make you want to open a window and run for the hills. But green cleaning? It’s all about using natural, eco-friendly ingredients that are safe for you, your employees, and the planet. Say goodbye to harsh chemicals and hello to a cleaner, healthier workspace!
Happy Employees, Happy Business
Think about it: your employees spend a big chunk of their day in the office, breathing in whatever’s lingering in the air. With green cleaning products, you’re not just wiping away dirt and grime – you’re creating a healthier environment for everyone. No more worrying about those strong chemical smells triggering allergies or causing headaches. Plus, a clean and healthy workspace can boost morale and productivity – talk about a win-win!
Saving the Planet, One Clean at a Time
But wait, there’s more! By making the switch to green commercial cleaning, you’re also doing your part to protect Mother Earth. Traditional cleaning products can leave behind harmful residues that end up polluting our waterways and harming wildlife. Green cleaning products, on the other hand, break down safely and don’t leave a nasty footprint behind. So not only are you keeping your office sparkling clean, but you’re also helping to preserve the planet for future generations. Pretty cool, right?
Putting Your Best Foot Forward
In today’s world, where sustainability is more than just a buzzword, businesses that prioritize eco-friendly practices stand out from the crowd. By investing in green commercial cleaning, you’re not just cleaning your office – you’re making a statement. Clients and customers appreciate businesses that care about more than just the bottom line. Show them that you’re committed to doing your part for the environment, and you’ll earn their trust and loyalty in return.
Finding the Perfect Green Cleaning Partner
Ready to make the switch to green commercial cleaning? Awesome! But before you dive in, here are a few tips to help you find the right cleaning company for your business:
Healthier Indoor Air Quality – Traditional cleaning products often leave behind harsh chemical residues that can linger in the air long after cleaning. This can lead to indoor air pollution, exacerbating respiratory issues and allergies among occupants. Green cleaning products, on the other hand, are formulated with natural ingredients that are gentle on the respiratory system, promoting healthier indoor air quality for everyone in your workspace.
Reduced Environmental Impact – Choosing green cleaning products isn’t just about safeguarding the health of your employees; it’s also about protecting the planet. Traditional cleaning chemicals can have detrimental effects on ecosystems when they are washed down the drain and enter waterways. By opting for green alternatives, you’re minimizing your business’s environmental footprint and doing your part to preserve our planet’s natural resources.
Safe for Sensitive Surfaces – Harsh chemical cleaners can damage delicate surfaces over time, leading to costly repairs and replacements. Green cleaning products are formulated to be gentle yet effective, making them safe for use on a variety of surfaces, including hardwood floors, granite countertops, and delicate upholstery. This not only extends the lifespan of your furnishings and fixtures but also saves you money in the long run.
Enhanced Employee Productivity – A clean and healthy work environment can have a profound impact on employee productivity and morale. Studies have shown that employees are more likely to feel motivated and engaged when they work in a clean and well-maintained space. By investing in green commercial cleaning, you’re creating a workspace that promotes employee well-being and fosters a culture of productivity and success.
Positive Brand Image – In today’s socially conscious marketplace, consumers are increasingly drawn to businesses that prioritize sustainability and environmental responsibility. By making the switch to green cleaning, you’re not only aligning your business with these values but also sending a powerful message to your clients and customers. Demonstrating your commitment to sustainability can help you attract and retain customers who share your values, giving your business a competitive edge in the market.
FAQs About Green Commercial Cleaning
Q: Will green cleaning products really get the job done?
A: Absolutely! Green cleaning products are just as effective as traditional cleaners, minus the harmful chemicals.
Q: Is green cleaning more expensive?
A: It might cost a bit more upfront, but the long-term benefits, like healthier employees and a cleaner environment, make it totally worth it.
Q: How can I be sure my cleaning company is really green?
A: Look for certifications and ask lots of questions. A truly green cleaning company will be happy to share their practices with you.
In Conclusion
So there you have it – green commercial cleaning is the way to go for businesses that want to keep things clean, healthy, and eco-friendly. Make the switch today and watch your workspace shine brighter than ever before!
I hear almost daily about people being blown off by doctors. Yesterday was my day while meeting with my new Neurologist. The first problem was the hospital I stayed at in December had not sent over medical records and the CT Scan.
Basically, he said my medications were causing my problems and suggested I stop two drugs. I will only change my medication with the person who wrote the RX to begin with.
Without a CT Scan, he said I didn’t have the four Neurological Disorders. Great news for me.
We talked about my balance and walking. He walked me up and down a long hallway and he did notice how I walked. He wanted me to come back in a month to discuss Physical Therapy. I had already told him I would not do Physical Therapy unless I could do it at home.
I made the appointment but I’m canceling. I will not do Physical Therapy because I don’t drive anymore, and my husband has to drive me. We have to work to find a good day for him to take me. He had to take the day off to drive me to the appointment.
My need for him right now is zero. I will only make an appointment if a new issue springs up.
A complete waste of time, except for hearing I do not have Neurological Disorders.
I have now joined a large number of people who have been blown off by a doctor.
An herbaceous perennial that grows along sides damp areas, like marshes, seas, and riverbanks, the marshmallow root is known for relieving inflammation and irritation. This herb was used by ancient civilizations and is still utilized today today in traditional folk practices, both internally and externally.
Due to its mucilaginous properties, when mixed with water, it produces a slimy liquid that helps heal various skin ailments It’s safe enough for babies and it works wonders on dry, damaged, or eczema-prone skin.
Here are a few reasons to add marshmallow root to your skin-care regime.
I have been estranged from my father since I was 12 years old. But for some reason, I sent him my 11th-grade school photo. It was probably my grandmother who asked me to send it. The note on the back is strange to me.
Daddy,
Your #1! Someday you’ll be real proud of me. I’ll write a book and be well known.
Love Always
PS
Life is a gift, not a burden.
Thinking back, my father had a couple of suicide scares and it was sent to cheer him up.
In this fast-paced social media world, it can be difficult to find the time to look within or back in time. I hope you find these quotes and questions interesting. So glad you stopped by today!
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week we highlight the blog of Simon’s Space.
Hi, I’m Simon, I’ve lived in the UK all my life and have rarely ventured further. I’m fascinated and disappointed by the world and what I see in equal measure. I’m a thinker, dreamer, artist, and writer. My head is in the clouds or on its way to Mars or some other place in the Galaxy and that’s where I’m most at home. Thinking up new possibilities, and new stories and imagining what it could be like. This blog is just like that, a little random and a lot creative with a dash of science as the seasoning.
Simon and I go way back, his posts are all over the place but always interesting.
Are you ready to take your team’s spirit to the next level? Whether you’re a coach, player, or passionate supporter, one surefire way to boost morale and show off your team pride is through custom sports decals. These little pieces of adhesive magic can transform plain equipment, gear, and even spaces into vibrant expressions of team unity and identity. So, let’s dive into the world of custom sports decals and discover how they can help you score big on and off the field!
What Are Custom Sports Decals?
Before we jump into the how-tos and benefits, let’s break down what exactly customized decals and labels for any sport or event are. Essentially, they’re specially designed stickers or decals featuring your team’s logo, mascot, slogans, or any other custom designs you fancy. These decals are made from durable materials, ensuring they can withstand the wear and tear of sports activities, be it rain, shine, or a tackle or two!
Show Off Your Team Pride
Gear Up Like a Pro
One of the most popular ways to use custom sports decals is to personalize your gear. Imagine stepping onto the field with helmets, bats, or water bottles adorned with your team’s logo or name. Not only does it look super slick, but it also instills a sense of pride and belonging among team members.
Stand Out on the Sidelines
Custom sports decals aren’t just for equipment. You can also use them to spruce up your team’s dugout, locker room, or even your car! Stick them on walls, windows, or any smooth surface to create an eye-catching display that gets everyone pumped up for the game.
Ready to deck out your team with custom sports decals? Here’s a simple step-by-step guide to help you get started:
Design Your Decal – Work with a graphic designer or use online design tools to create your custom decal. Don’t forget to incorporate your team’s colors, logo, and any other elements that represent your identity.
Choose Your Material – Consider the surface where you’ll be applying the decal. For sports equipment, opt for durable materials like vinyl that can withstand outdoor conditions and frequent handling.
Select a Size – Decide on the size of your decal based on where you plan to use it. Whether it’s a small helmet sticker or a large banner for your team’s dugout, make sure it fits the space perfectly.
Place Your Order – Once you’re happy with the design and specifications, place your order with a reputable custom decal provider. Make sure to double-check all the details to avoid any surprises upon delivery.
Apply with Care – When your decals arrive, follow the instructions carefully to ensure proper application. Clean the surface thoroughly, position the decal, and use a squeegee or credit card to smooth out any air bubbles.
Benefits of Custom Sports Decals
Now that you know how to get your hands on custom sports decals, let’s explore some of the benefits they offer:
Team Unity – Custom decals create a sense of unity and belonging among team members, fostering a stronger bond and camaraderie.
Brand Visibility – Whether you’re a school team, amateur league, or professional club, custom decals help boost your brand visibility and recognition.
Motivational Tool – Seeing your team’s logo or motto emblazoned on gear and equipment can serve as a powerful motivational tool, inspiring players to give it their all on the field.
Fan Engagement – Custom sports decals aren’t just for players. They also appeal to fans and supporters, offering them a way to show their allegiance and support for the team.
FAQs About Custom Sports Decals
Q: Are custom sports decals waterproof?
A: Yes, most custom sports decals are made from waterproof materials, ensuring they can withstand outdoor conditions and frequent use. It depends on the type of adhesive used. Some decals are designed for permanent application, while others are removable and can be repositioned multiple times without leaving residue.
Q: How long do custom sports decals last?
A: The lifespan of custom sports decals varies depending on factors like material quality, exposure to elements, and frequency of use. However, with proper care, they can last for several seasons.
Q: Can I remove and reapply custom decals?
A: It depends on the type of adhesive used. Some decals are designed for permanent application, while others are removable and can be repositioned multiple times without leaving residue.
Conclusion
Custom sports decals are more than just stickers – they’re powerful tools for enhancing team spirit, showcasing identity, and rallying support from fans. Whether you’re gearing up for the big game or looking to spruce up your team’s space, these versatile decals offer endless possibilities. So, why wait? Get creative, design your custom decals, and watch as your team scores big both on and off the field!
Hey folks, can you believe it’s been a whole decade since we were wondering if the world would end with the Y2K bug? Time flies when you’re busy changing the world! So, let’s kick back and chat about the top five things that have totally shaken things up in the past ten years.
AI: The Coolest Thing Since Sliced Bread
Alright, let’s dive right into the deep end with everyone’s favorite buzzword: artificial intelligence. Seriously, who would’ve thought we’d be chatting with robots and having them solve our problems? AI chatbots are like our digital BFFs, always there to lend an ear (or a byte, I guess) and help us out of a jam. Plus, have you seen those personalized recommendations on Netflix? It’s like they know us better than we know ourselves!
Chatbots: Your New Digital Bestie
Picture this: you’re stuck on a website, trying to figure out how to reset your password. Instead of waiting on hold for hours, you fire up the chatbox, and voila! Instant help, no hold music required. It’s like having a tech-savvy friend on speed dial, ready to swoop in and save the day.
Personalized Recommendations: Mind Readers or Just Really Smart Algorithms?
Okay, confession time: I’ve lost count of how many hours I’ve spent scrolling through Netflix, trying to find the perfect show to watch. But thanks to AI, those days are behind us. Now, we’re treated to a curated selection of binge-worthy content tailored just for us. It’s like having a personal assistant whose sole job is to make sure we’re entertained 24/7. And this is just the start; we’re seeing all sorts of exciting and different takes on AI chat. Just check out this character AI generator, for instance.
Love it or hate it, social media has become the beating heart of our digital lives. From connecting with long-lost friends to sparking global movements, these platforms have transformed the way we interact with the world around us.
Amplifying Voices: Giving Power to the People
Remember when we used to rely on traditional media to spread the word? Now, all it takes is a hashtag to kickstart a revolution. Social media has given a voice to the voiceless, empowering communities to come together and demand change. It’s like the digital soapbox we never knew we needed.
Influencer Culture: From Likes to Lifestyle
Who needs Hollywood when you’ve got Instagram? Influencers have become the new celebrities, shaping trends and influencing millions with a single post. Whether they’re promoting the latest skincare craze or advocating for social justice, these digital tastemakers are the ultimate trendsetters.
Streaming Services: Say Goodbye to Cable, Hello to Convenience
Raise your hand if you remember the days of appointment viewing and VHS tapes. Thankfully, those dark ages are behind us, thanks to the rise of streaming services.
On-Demand Entertainment: Because Who Has Time for TV Guides?
Gone are the days of flipping through TV guides and setting reminders for your favorite shows. With streaming services, we have the power to watch what we want, when we want, and where we want. It’s like having a movie theater in your pocket, minus the sticky floors and overpriced popcorn.
Original Content: A Feast for the Eyes
From gripping dramas to laugh-out-loud comedies, streaming platforms have raised the bar for original content. With big budgets and creative freedom, these platforms are churning out content that rivals Hollywood blockbusters. Who needs movie theaters when you’ve got Netflix?
Renewable Energy: Saving the Planet, One Solar Panel at a Time
Let’s face it: Mother Earth could use a little TLC. Luckily, renewable energy is here to save the day, one solar panel at a time.
Solar Power: Soaking Up the Sun
Who needs fossil fuels when you’ve got the power of the sun? Solar energy has emerged as a clean and sustainable alternative to traditional power sources, powering homes and businesses around the world. Plus, those solar panels look pretty snazzy on rooftops, don’t they?
Wind Energy: Riding the Winds of Change
Not to be outdone, wind energy has also been making waves in the renewable energy game. With towering wind turbines dotting landscapes across the globe, wind energy is harnessing the power of nature to generate electricity. It’s like poetry in motion, with each gust of wind bringing us one step closer to a greener future.
Last but not least, let’s talk about the rise of telecommuting. Who needs a stuffy office when you can work from the comfort of your own home (or anywhere with a decent Wi-Fi connection)?
Remote Work: Living the Dream (in Your Pajamas)
Thanks to advancements in technology, remote work has become the new norm for many of us. No more rushing to beat rush hour traffic or squeezing into crowded trains. Now, we can roll out of bed and start our workday in our pajamas. Talk about living the dream!
But why stop working from home when you can work from anywhere in the world? Enter the digital nomad, the ultimate embodiment of work-life balance. From beachside cafes to mountain hideaways, these modern-day adventurers are living life on their own terms, one Wi-Fi hotspot at a time.
In conclusion, the past decade has been a wild ride, filled with ups and downs, twists and turns. But through it all, these five trends have stood the test of time, shaping the world we live in today and paving the way for an even brighter future. So here’s to the next ten years of innovation, adventure, and maybe a few more streaming services for good measure. 🎉
It’s interesting the events our mind suppresses until memories spring back like yesterday. I have no emotion talking about the physical and emotional abuse at the hands of my mother and stepfather. I have disassociated memories of sexual abuse by my father.
My therapist and I have talked about it, she doesn’t push and knows if the door opens I’ll talk. What I will not do is force my mind and body to endure pain I’m not ready for. I have a good perspective on what I’ve survived and the methods our mind uses to deal with our deepest pain. I’m not sure if this particular memory was forgotten or suppressed. I had no emotion as my therapist was almost brought to tears.
I saw a news story about an 8-year-old girl tortured by her parents, beaten, starved chained to a column on a porch left for dead. The image seared into my mind and did not let go. I sat down in the Therapist lobby and the memory of that little girl crossed my mind. As we walked to her office, I asked if she had heard the story and then added my thoughts. I started to cry which I do easily for others in pain.
As we talked about what type of parent would do that, a childhood memory flooded over me. The tears dried as if was talking about someone else. When I was 8 years old, I was having terrible side pain and daycare called my mother. She didn’t take off early and it was maybe 3 hours later when she arrived. At that point, I could barely walk and could not walk and breathe at the same time. The supervisor thought I had an appendicitis attack and should get to the hospital right away. It was Halloween night and I didn’t want to miss out on the candy but pain was taking over my small body. My mother was angry at me for ruining Halloween for my brother. I guess we did not have insurance since the first hospital turned us away.
She drove to the county hospital, and I waited on a bed in the emergency room, where people were bleeding and dying receiving treatment. Halloween night is one of the busiest nights of the year with more shootings than normal. The emergency room was full, I was outside a man’s curtain waiting my turn for a bed. During this time my mother left to take my brother to trick or treat. I didn’t realize until a nurse asked where she was. I said she talked to a nurse and went home. She was a big woman and I knew nobody gave her any shit. She asked, why in the hell my mother would leave me there.
The county hospital is in one of the worst areas of Dallas. This is not a place an adult would feel comfortable let alone a child. I waited in the emergency room, lying on my side crying in pain. I saw the man through the curtain. He was an older man and he had what looked like wires coming out of several places on both arms. My eyes caught him and I asked does that hurt. He was a kind man saying not as bad as my pain and where was my mother.
I told him how upset I was that my brother would not share his candy with me. He looked shocked my mother would leave me there. My mother eventually came back in and raised her voice at the big nurse. I wanted the nurse to punch my mother in the mouth or grab her by the neck.
The doctor didn’t think I needed surgery, to stay overnight for observation. For a second I was glad until rolled to my room. The hospital was so overcrowded I had to sleep in a baby bed. That is the last thing a kid wants to do. I cram myself in the bed and they pull the side up. It was so dark in there I thought I was alone until the babies started crying. Which made it much worse for me. Not only did I have to sleep with my legs pulled up, babies were crying and my mother was home in her comfortable bed.
You would think, I would feel some emotion but my mind switches back to the little girl. My mind turned a switch, my story was over, no big deal, that was my mother, that was my life. I couldn’t help but cry for the other girl.
How can people do that to their children? I’ve talked to my therapist about my story and pain never crosses my mind again. That was several years ago and it was buried and popped back up last week.
I have spent the weekend looking at family photos, items from my childhood, and the notes my classmates wrote in the 1980 & 1981 yearbooks autograph sections. My best friend wrote two pages full and in a small section. When I found it today, I had to share some of it with you.
I was always drunk on weekends and my best friend wrote some advice about my drinking and the future. This was written in 1981, the year we graduated from high school.
Melinda,
I don’t want you to be drunk all summer. To get drunk off your ass occasionally but I don’t want to see you get hooked on that shit. You don’t have to be an alcoholic to be popular. If you can’t have fun without beer, you can’t have fun.
But if you get hooked, it could be like when you were hooked on drugs like before and I know you don’t want to go through that again.
The family cookbook contains recipes that my Grandparents used often and is the type of food I grew up on. Good ole Southern food like my Gramps dumplings, to Grannies pecan pie.
The family cookbook contains recipes, my Grandparents used often and is the type of food I grew up on. Good ole Southern food like my Gramps dumplings, to Grannies pecan pie.
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