Men & Womens Health

Faded Memories II *From Melody to Mody*

Looking for the Light

I was born with healthy lungs and strong personality 

me baby

My parents chose Melinda Melody 1963. Melody was my fathers idea. To this day, my mother calls me Melody. I thought it was emotional abuse. In truth, She hated my father and used the name he chose.

Emotionally  broken down to unconditional love of my grandparents. God Blessed me with my grandparents, I can’t repay you with words. What I can do is support others. I became a Minister and started a charity. God give me the strength to mentor children.

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Living in a household with child abuse and domestic violence, the days without violence can disappear. The memories, faded memories can trigger deep pain if the door is open. My trigger thru me in the abysses from listening to a song listened to hundreds of times.

I felt like a bomb landed in my lap, the arrival created complete chaos.  The memories were part of the chaos in my life. Shortly after the divorce from my father, my mother married shortly and my father married later. My brother and I called him the Nazi. He was an alcoholic, possessive and we marched to his beat. The verbal abuse started and shortly escalated to domestic abuse. We walked on eggshells constantly.

A couple years into marriage my mother finds out he was married before with two children. We starting going to Houston regularly without knowing why. He was fighting the mother for custody of the kids. Sure!  My brother and I were told our step brother’s were moving in. It was a shock trying to figure out what would change? Would we like them?

Mony Mony by Billy Idol brings back memories of my step-brother Paul. Paul and his brother came to live with us because of neglect. Their mother was a drug addict and would leave them at home for weeks at a time. Paul the youngest, regressed to a baby, learning to talk again was difficult. My mother has called me Melody, my middle name all my life. He called me Mody. Paul died in a tragic accident to young. His older brother Keith was abandoned at age 14 yrs old.

My step brothers lived in fear, years later we find out step father had several wife and more kids.

Xx  M

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45 thoughts on “Faded Memories II *From Melody to Mody*”

        1. Hi M,
          I know it’s gonna be difficult and at this stage no brian isn’t alongside me because I’m choosing to do it alone I don’t want support. .however M my old therapist isn’t happy as she does this type of thing and says often her clients are more traumatized by the process and give up on it ..I’m concerned very 😢

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          2. Know iv chosen not to share I’m doing some investigation into the process. .and once I know what that sounds like I’ll need to i suppose talk to him but I’m worried about the strain on us doing this M…we battle through my stuff without further details added!

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          2. I understand your frustration, we only have the answer when we gat there. I have noticed you talk negative about yourself. Focus on why you would be a great BFF, why a man thinks about you personality, keep breaking it down. I know you don’t like waiting, maybe God is teaching you patience.
            If you don’t like yourself the negative energy shows.
            BE POSITIVE.
            :)
            M

            Liked by 1 person

          4. You’re strong headed and at times don’t want to bend. I know it can take longer for many things we want in our life. Try to do an internal soul search, you need to understand what makes you mad. True expectations for your next serious relationship. When you know the answers, work on yourself. Keep working on yourself. As for “Prince” we need to talk offline. Email me where you’re going?
            :)
            M

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          5. I know what makes me mad. The lack of respect for my feelings or my thoughts and not having anyone here to lean on when I need it. :)

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          6. Twin, trust me here. I was born to share my love and not to keep it for myself. I can’t work properly if I’m alone. I don’t like it and I feel life sucks that way.
            I don’t feel bad about myself, I hate that there is nobody here for me, the closest person is half continent away. It’s not a nice feeling.

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    1. Thank you for seeing others pain. I don’t look back except when a memory is triggered.This time I felt bad for my step brothers. Is the pain from abuse more harmful than being left ai apartment alone. I think the difference is the person who fights to survive or wallow in poor me. God held my hand for years unknown to me. I believed he had more for me.
      I have not written about the worst, never have and never will.
      Hugs :)
      M

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  6. A child raised in an abusive home has to endure two tragedies: One: the pain and suffering of abuse, and Two: the lack of a loving mother and father. Not only has the child been fed a diet of gravel, he also has never experience the delight of ice cream. So sorry for you, dear. But so glad you survived anyway! May your name set a tone of beautiful music to become real in your life.

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    1. Thank you for leaving the most sincere comments. I understand how my life was waisting away. Several blessings in my life came together at once. God helped me when I had no interest in living. I’m such a different person, learning to give instead of taking. I appreciate you think my post is worthy to comment.
      Hope you stop by again.
      :)
      M

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