Dementia Thoughts

Dementia sucks, it’s fucking life sucking. I watched my granny die from Dementia, you don’t wish that type of death on anyone. Once she no longer knew who she or anyone else was it was crushing. I don’t want to die that way and have been vocal about it to the surprise of my husband, Therapist and Psychiatrist. My decision is between me and God.

I say with no emotion, I will kill myself once my mind slips and life becomes fuzzy. One day while sitting with my granny, she broke out into a rage about why gramps left her at someone else’s house. She was in her own home, I’m taking photos off the wall, she continued to escalate, banging her head on the door jam saying gramps left her and she wanted to die. I had to medicate her before she hurt one of us.

Yesterday, I watch a new show, while falling asleep I replayed the show in my mind and forgot a line the maid said. My first reaction was my memory was slipping again but as I thought about the show, I didn’t remember because the line wasn’t significant to the story. A wave of relief came over me.

Knowing when it’s a memory loss or something else can be confussing. If you know someone with memory problems, give them a break and reaffirm the statements or questions. The affirmation will help you better understand if it was a normal memory lapse or something more concerning.

Melinda

10 Comments »

  1. I too watched my mother pass from Alzheimer Disease and was her caregiver for 18 months before placing her in a long term care facility. It was heartbreaking. When she could no longer speak, she still hummed and sang. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for commenting. It’s so hard to watch a loved one lose their memory and knowledge of the things around them. I was plesantly surprised when I saw this show on the tv about patients signing to music long after they could not talk. Have a great weekend.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. What a hard thing to have to go through! My mom got forgetful and confused about reality, especially in her late 70s and early 80s. Maybe that’s why I worry about my occasional moments of confusion and forgetfulness in my 60s. I haven’t talked about it much, but I have joked (but not really joking) with my husband that he’ll have to get over his shyness about singing if I get dementia, because I love singing and think it would help.

    Liked by 1 person

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