Thanks for stopping by today, I appreciate you and look forward to your comments.
Have a great day!
Melinda
Wordless Wednesday*Yellow
Month: October 2021
Do you ever feel like you’re not enough?
IDEAS.TED.COM
Mar 6, 2019 / Mary Halton
If your self-worth seems to rise and fall according to what other people think, you’re not alone. But you can challenge this mindset and find a new way of valuing yourself, says psychologist Meag-gan O’Reilly.
This post is part of TED’s “How to Be a Better Human” series, each of which contains a piece of helpful advice from someone in the TED community. To see all the posts, go here.
“How often do you get asked ‘What do you do?’ and feel like that question is going to determine how much attention or respect you receive?” That’s a question posed by Meag-gan O’Reilly, staff psychologist at Stanford University’s Vaden Health Center in Palo Alto, California, in a TEDxSJSU talk.
Perhaps you had the stomach-sinking experience of seeing your questioner’s face change or their eyes glaze over when they hear your response. It’s lousy. Instead of being seen and appreciated for all of your complicated individuality, you feel like your worth has been judged in a flash — and found wanting.
But getting a nod of approval is also unsettling, says O’Reilly. “Even those of us who seem to be winning at these conditions stand to lose because conditions change with time, age or unexpected hardships.”
O’Reilly recalls a vivid example from her own life. Once, at a party, she went up to the host — someone she’d never met before — to thank him for his hospitality. She smiled, stuck out her hand, and, she recalls, “I was met with the response of ‘Qualify yourself.’ … That’s when his friend beside him reiterated the question with more clarity: ‘Qualify yourself; tell him why he should talk to you.’”
O’Reilly says, “Immediately my mind split into two paths. The first and more dominant voice got to work on the task … What are the bells and whistles of my existence that I can showcase to woo and persuade this person I’m worth his time?”
Meanwhile, the other part of her was stunned, as she put it, that “there was a litmus test for conversation. I’m happy to say that this part of me won out. I didn’t engage. I simply said, ‘Thanks again for hosting’ and walked away.”
This incident spurred O’Reilly to think about how small moments like these can chip away at our self-worth. “As a psychologist who’s heard and held hundreds of human stories, I have witnessed firsthand how this mentality of feeling like you are not enough has stolen dreams, ambitions, relationships, health and happiness away from people,” she says.
For some of us, these encounters echo earlier occasions in our lives when we felt like our value as a person was determined by other people — usually adults — and fluctuated depending on what they thought of our latest grade, game, performance or accomplishment. O’Reilly says, “Think to yourself for a moment: What were some of the early messages you received about who you needed to be to show up in the world as meaningful?”
No matter how deep-rooted these experiences and feelings are, we can free ourselves from thinking that we’re not enough. This undoing may take a while to happen so we should be patient, cautions O’Reilly. “It’s a process, and I call it lifespan work.”
Here’s how we can start challenging the not-enough mindsets in ourselves and in the people around us, according to O’Reilly.
1. Do what makes you — not other people — happy.
Feeling like you’re not enough can sometimes lead you to take on certain friends, hobbies, projects or jobs that you think will make you look good in other people’s estimation. O’Reilly asks: “When was the last time you did something not because it’s going to show up on your resume, not because it meets that condition of worth you’re wrestling with, but just because you enjoyed it?”
It’s important to pursue the things that you genuinely enjoy because “it softens our stance toward ourselves,” says O’Reilly. “It allows us a zoomed-out perspective and gives us a chance to experience ourselves and others in a non-conditional way.” When you’re in the flow of doing what you love, you can shake off the weight of judgements and expectations.
2. Recognize that you have value — period.
Believing you’re enough does not mean that you should lower the bar for what you’d like to accomplish in life, emphasizes O’Reilly; it’s just that your personal enoughness remains constant and isn’t affected by your actions. She says, “Please go and achieve much. But do it in such a way that you know there’s a floor or a baseline of worth that you cannot descend below.”
Contrary to what some people fear, recognizing our inherent self-worth does not mean that we’ll be full of our own self-importance. O’Reilly says, “An inflated sense of self-esteem sounds like … ‘I can do it, I’m the best,” whether or not that’s actually true.” Inherent value, she adds, “sounds like ‘This is important to me, and I’m going to do my best … but it doesn’t define me.’”
3. When you meet new people, go beyond your job, title or school.
If we’d like to remove the judgment associated with the “So, what do you do?” question, we can also change how we respond to it. “The next time someone asks you what you do, don’t provide an occupation or field of study,” says O’Reilly. “Instead, share with them something that you cherish about yourself; try to break interpersonal ground with them and not start with labels.” (For more advice on the topic, read the TED Ideas article “How to introduce yourself so you’ll be unforgettable — in a good way.”)
4. Respond with love and acceptance to the successes and failures of your family, friends and colleagues.
Similar to the previous point, we need to try to model a new way of being if we want to ease the not-enough mindset in the people around us. Given how achievement-oriented society can be, says O’Reilly, “this is difficult … but a person is not a product and we need a culture that delineates the two and helps us see that one does not define the other.”
Wouldn’t you like the most important people in your life — young or old — to feel like they are enough? By appreciating them and showing that your care for them is unconditional, you can create change that will ripple outwards. “Enough is enough with these worth wars we’re waging,” O’Reilly says. “Think about how radically different our world and relationships would be if each of us actually acted like we all had inherent value.”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Mary Halton is Assistant Ideas Editor at TED, and a science journalist based in the Pacific Northwest.
4 Steps To Help When You Feel Overwhelmed
Everyone will encounter stress in life. Sometimes, this stress is entirely justified, and it’s all about how you respond to it. However, people will also experience unnecessary stress that can make them feel overwhelmed and affect their mental wellbeing, performance, and even relationships with those they love. Feeling overwhelmed is never a pleasant experience, and if you encounter this regularly, you need to identify ways to overcome it. Here are four steps you can use the next time it occurs.
Identify The Trigger
You cannot start to battle feelings of being overwhelmed without understanding your triggers. Many triggers can affect people, ranging from too much work to too much noise or even working with someone you do not get on with. Once you recognize your triggers, you can consider ways to avoid stress spikes. From here, you can look for ways to avoid the triggers, but if this isn’t possible – especially in professional settings – you can work out how to cope with them.
Stop and Step Away
There is no use in doing anything if you are stressed and overwhelmed. You are not thinking straight, leading to severe mistakes that put you and others in danger. If possible, you should stop what you’re doing and step away to remove yourself from the situation. There are breathing exercises that you can use to reduce stress, which can help clear your head and make it easier to think and consider your next move.
Ask Yourself If You Can Solve the Problem Now
Some problems are easily overcome, others are not. If you encounter an issue, you should ask whether you’re able to solve it right now. Things like situational stress are easier to solve than financial stress, which can take time and a plan. If you’re able to solve the problem right now, go ahead and do it. However, if you cannot solve the issue in the immediate moment, don’t worry about it too much. As challenging as this approach is, especially for those who experience severe stress and anxiety, it will at least allow you to think clearly at the moment and conceptualize the issue.
Get Help From Friends (Or Strangers)
You don’t need to deal with these issues alone. Friends, family, and even professional services are available to make problems more manageable. Those experiencing financial stress can compare credit and improve their standing with lenders and other financial institutions. People that feel stressed and overwhelmed in busy environments can get support from their partner, parents, siblings, or friends. Everyone looks for support differently, so work out what approach works best for you, and don’t feel embarrassed about discussing these issues with those closest to you, as they will always be happy to help.
Overcome
You might never truly escape those awful feelings of being overwhelmed. However, this doesn’t mean you cannot find useful and effective ways to manage these feelings. If you can take strong steps and understand how you can manage your stress, you won’t feel at the mercy of your emotions anymore.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
Want To Keep Your Car Maintained? Focus On These Areas
Outside of your home, your car might be one of the most expensive things that you own. Because of that, you’ll want to get a decent amount of use out of it. Keeping it well-maintained is the most effective way of doing so, which explains why it’s continually recommended.
You’ll need to focus on a few areas in particular. That’s primarily because they can be the most expensive car parts to replace. Though keeping them maintained will still cost money, it’ll be much less than needing a replacement.
That reason could be more than enough to persuade you to keep certain areas of your car maintained. It’ll also have the benefit of making sure that your vehicle keeps running smoothly.
Areas To Focus On To Keep Your Car Maintained
Alternator
Your alternator is one of the most expensive car parts that you might need to replace. Given the money involved, you’ll want to avoid this. Should this stop working, the electricals in the vehicle will also stop working.
You could easily expect to pay several hundred dollars on a replacement alternator. Add in labor costs, and this could easily get closer to $1,000. Maintaining it, however, should only cost a fraction of that.
Transmission
Your car transmission may be the most expensive car part to replace, outside of a complete engine overhaul. You’ll naturally want to avoid this cost as much as possible. To do so, you’ll need to prevent and be on the lookout for bad transmission symptoms.
There can be multiple ones to look out for, such as a noticeable noise when you’re in neutral. A burning smell is also one of the more common signs that your transmission has problems. If you notice any of these, you should get to the mechanic as soon as possible.
In many cases, some simple repairs will be all that’s needed. It’ll prevent you spending the thousands of dollars that repairs typically cost.
Camshaft
A car’s camshaft typically doesn’t get damaged over time. It could deteriorate because of a lack of maintenance and oil changes. Should you need to replace the camshaft, you could easily expect to pay $2,000.
Naturally, that makes regularly changing your oil and maintaining the camshaft a priority. You should also make sure that the valve spring pressure is in the right range. This should typically range between 85 and 150 pounds.
Should problems start appearing here, it will affect the rest of the vehicle. Getting it repaired early will obviously prevent all of this.
Fuel Pump
Fuel pumps are one of the most expensive car parts to replace and can often cost several hundred dollars on their own. That’s primarily because of the cost of the part itself, although the difficulty of replacing it also plays a role.
These are the parts that supply pressure to the injector to make sure that it runs right. Typically, the fuel pump can become damaged by particles often found in low-quality fuel. Thankfully, that makes it relatively easy to protect your fuel pump against damage.
Though high-quality fuel will be more expensive, it’ll cut down on damage to your car’s mechanics.
Catalytic Converter
The catalytic converter is a relatively easy part to replace, as it’s located between the muffler and engine. That doesn’t mean that it’ll be cheap to do so, however. That’s because it’s the part of the vehicle that turns chemical fumes into less harmful emissions.
That makes them relatively expensive. That can typically cost you over $1,000 to replace. Because of this cost, catalytic converters are quite commonly stolen. You’ll need to spend more time preventing theft than you would protecting against damage.
Being smart about where you park your car and where you travel is the easiest way of doing so.
Wrapping Up
Making sure that your car runs smoothly for as long as you have it is a priority for everyone. With the number of parts involved, trying to maintain everything could be overwhelming. Looking after each of the above will minimize the risk of any car problems.
It’s also worth getting your vehicle inspected regularly. Doing so will identify any problems before they get too large. Being proactive with your repairs and maintenance will often save you much more money than you’d think.
The above areas have long been seen as some of the most expensive car parts to replace. They’re also one of the easiest to protect and take care of. Make sure you do so to prevent the headache and hassle associated with replacing them.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
Blogger Favorite Creamy No-Dairy Tricks
If you crave creamy foods but don’t care for or can’t eat dairy, these vegan substitutes for heavy cream will help.
Cashew Cream
“Cashews are frequently used in dairy-free products because they provide a texture similar to dairy without tasting like a nut,” Shaw says. “Cashew cream can easily be made with cashews, water, and salt.” If you can’t eat nuts, pureed white beans work similarly.
Best In: sauces, mousses, salad dressings
Dairy-Free Milk + Olive Oil
Once blended, this combo mimics the higher fat content that gives heavy cream its thick, silky texture and taste. Shaw says-but it’s not a one-for-one substitute, so you’ll have to add it in stages until you get the consistency you’re looking for.
Best In: sauces, soups, stews
Coconut Cream
It’s like a thicker, creamier coconut milk, and you’ll want to buy it sweetened or unsweetened depending on what you are using it for. If you can’t find it or already have full-fat coconut milk on hand, you can DIY it. “Place the coconut milk can upside down in the fridge overnight, then drain to remove the milk solids. Place the solids in a chilled bowl and whip with a hand or stand mixer until light and fluffy.” Shaw says.
Best In: mousses, whipped cream, sauces, curries
Silkin Tofu + Plant Milk
“This combination is a great alternative and can be made by blending equal parts of each-plus, it boosts the protein of your recipe,” saw Shaw. It’s also lower in fat than heavy cream but still delivers the vibe you’re looking for.
Best In: sauces, dressings, smoothies, puddings
Enjoy!
Melinda
How Cultures Around The World Think About Parenting
What can American parents learn from how other cultures look at parenting? A look at child-rearing ideas in Japan, Norway, Spain — and beyond.
The crisis of American parenting, as anyone who has looked at the parenting section of a bookstore can attest, is that nobody knows what the hell they’re doing. Yet despite this lack of confidence and apparent absence of knowledge, many American parents zealously believe that their choices carve out their children’s futures. Indeed, they seek the advice of expert after expert in the field in order to succeed at one goal: to raise the happiest, the most successful, and the most well-adjusted leaders of the future.
But what dangers lay in thinking that there is one “right” way to parent? How much of how we parent is actually dictated by our culture? How do the ways we parent express the essentialness of who we are, as a nation?
“Americans have no script,” says Jennifer Senior (TED Talk: For parents, happiness is a very high bar), author of All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood. “We believe we get to invent our future, our opportunities and who are our children are going to be. Which is wonderful, but also very troubling.”
In reporting her book, says Senior, when she asked mothers who they went to for parenting advice, they named friends, websites and books. None named their own mothers. Only the most current child-rearing strategies were desired, in order to best position their children for achievement in the future.
In other words, that which is most American about us — our belief that the future is unwrit — is what is driving us mad as parents. Senior paraphrases Margaret Mead, who wrote this in 1942: In America, there are only this year’s children.
In Norway, childhood is strongly institutionalized, says Norwegian sociologist and economist Margunn Bjornholt. Indeed, most children enter state-sponsored daycare at 1 year old (parents first get almost a full year of state-sponsored leave from work), then enter school and organized activities.
Norwegians believe that it is better for children to be in daycare as toddlers. At daycare, methods reflect the country’s fetishistic dedication to fresh air. So even in Oslo, where arguably the indoor air quality is fresher, and even in Scandinavian winters, children are bundled up and taken outside to nap in their strollers.
Craziness? Culture. In Japan, where Gross-Loh lives part of the year, she lets her 4-year-old daughter run errands with her 7-year-old sister and 11-year-old brother — without parental supervision. Her kids don’t hesitate to take the Tokyo subways by themselves and walk on busy streets alone, just like their Japanese peers. But when she comes back to the States, Gross-Loh doesn’t allow the same.
“If I let them out on their own like that in the U.S., I wouldn’t just get strange looks,” she says. “Somebody would call Child Protective Services.”
Both in Japan and Norway, parents are focused on cultivating independence. Children do things alone early, whether it’s walking to school or to the movies. The frames, however, are different. In Scandinavia, there is an emphasis on a democratic relationship between parents and children. In Sweden especially, the “rights” of a child are important. For example, a child has the “right” to access their parents’ bodies for comfort, and therefore should be allowed into their parents’ bed with them in the middle of the night. If a parent doesn’t allow them, they are both denying them their rights and being a neglectful parent. In parts of Asia, meanwhile, co-sleeping with a family member through late childhood is common. Korean parents spend more time holding their babies and having physical contact than most. But within a family, obedience is key — not democracy.
In Jewish tradition, says Wendy Mogel, a clinical psychologist and author of The Blessing of a B Minus: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Resilient Teenagers, there’s a teaching in the Talmud that every parent has an obligation to teach their child how to swim.
“We’re supposed to be raising our children to leave us,” she says. “They must develop self-reliance and resourcefulness and resilience, which is a challenge, because we must allow our children to make mistakes.”
This is enormously hard for American parents to do. “Parents are genuinely anxious about really big things like the melting ice caps and collapsing economy and the unending stories about violence and predators and college admissions,” says Mogel. “They displace all of these fears of things they can’t control onto the one thing they believe they can control, which is children.”
American parents are highly focused on making sure that their children’s talents are groomed for success. Sara Harkness, a professor in the Department of Human Development and Family Studies at the University of Connecticut and a pioneering researcher on parenting and culture, found that nearly 25 percent of all of the descriptors used by American parents were a derivation of “smart,” “gifted” or “advanced.” “Our sense of needing to push children to maximize potential is partly driven by fear of the child failing in an increasingly competitive world where you can’t count on the things that our parents could count on,” Harkness suggests.
This is not unlike many Asian nations, where parenting, from a very early age, is focused highly on academics and college acceptance. One Korean mother who Harkness interviewed played English tapes to her 2-month-old baby “because it’s never too early to start,” she says. The parent’s primary role is as an educator, and the child’s role is to respect the parent and repay them with sacrifices.
In the Netherlands, meanwhile, parents used “smart” to describe their children only 10 percent of the time. Dutch parents believe strongly in not pushing their children too hard. “People would talk about a cousin who got a PhD and was very unhappy because there were no jobs at universities, and said that you shouldn’t teach your child to read before they got to school, because then your child would be bored at school and not have any friends,” says Harkness.
Instead, regularly scheduled rest, food and a pleasant environment are the top priorities for Dutch parents.
But in Spain, where families are focused on the social and interpersonal aspects of child development, parents are shocked at the idea of a child going to bed at 6:30pm and sleeping uninterrupted until the next day, instead of interacting and participating in family life in the evenings. “They were horrified at the concept,” says Harkness. “Their kids were going to bed at 10 p.m.”
In the U.S., we want to be Korean and Dutch and Japanese and Jewish and Norwegian and Spanish, all at once. “What is unique to us is the desire to be happy all the time and experience no discomfort and achieve,” says Mogel. “These are competing values.”
The American desire for solutions is starting to radiate outwards. A growing awareness of the scarcity of resources, and the potential for true social mobility, is increasing the pressure on parents globally to “parent” their kids, as a verb. In Taiwan, the most popular parenting books are translations of American guides.
Yet parental anxiety is a terrible idea to export. Instead, “we should be learning from each other,” says Harkness, “and recognizing that there are very different successful pathways to raising children.”
The diversity of ideas should be liberating, not stress-inducing, agrees Gross-Loh. “It was incredibly freeing to realize that there was no single way to do things and it’s totally okay to make mistakes as a parent,” says Gross-Loh of her research. “It gave me space to let my children be who they are, and let them grow into that.”
The U.S., home to immigrants who bring their own traditions from around the world, is uniquely positioned to both learn and let go. American parents can recast their scriptlessness as they see fit, drawing on both global tradition and present theory. Will they? Tomorrow’s children may decide.
For those who live outside of America, I would love to hear your perception’s, please leave a comment. I can take the good, bad and the ugly.
Melinda
Reference:
Amy S. Choi is a freelance journalist, writer and editor based in Brooklyn, N.Y. She is the co-founder and editorial director of The Mash-Up Americans, a media and consulting company that examines multidimensional modern life in the U.S.
The 7 types of rest that every person needs
TEDIDEAS.COM
Jan 6, 2021 / Saundra Dalton-Smith MD
Avalon Nuovo
This post is part of TED’s “How to Be a Better Human” series, each of which contains a piece of helpful advice from people in the TED community; browse through all the posts here.
Have you ever tried to fix an ongoing lack of energy by getting more sleep — only to do so and still feel exhausted?
If that’s you, here’s the secret: Sleep and rest are not the same thing, although many of us incorrectly confuse the two.
We go through life thinking we’ve rested because we have gotten enough sleep — but in reality we are missing out on the other types of rest we desperately need. The result is a culture of high-achieving, high-producing, chronically tired and chronically burned-out individuals. We’re suffering from a rest deficit because we don’t understand the true power of rest.
Rest should equal restoration in seven key areas of your life.
The first type of rest we need is physical rest, which can be passive or active. Passive physical rest includes sleeping and napping, while active physical rest means restorative activities such as yoga, stretching and massage therapy that help improve the body’s circulation and flexibility.
The second type of rest is mental rest. Do you know that coworker who starts work every day with a huge cup of coffee? He’s often irritable and forgetful, and he has a difficult time concentrating on his work. When he lies down at night to sleep, he frequently struggles to turn off his brain as conversations from the day fill his thoughts. And despite sleeping seven to eight hours, he wakes up feeling as if he never went to bed. He has a mental rest deficit.
The good news is you don’t have to quit your job or go on vacation to fix this. Schedule short breaks to occur every two hours throughout your workday; these breaks can remind you to slow down. You might also keep a notepad by the bed to jot down any nagging thoughts that would keep you awake.
The third type of rest we need is sensory rest. Bright lights, computer screens, background noise and multiple conversations — whether they’re in an office or on Zoom calls — can cause our senses to feel overwhelmed. This can be countered by doing something as simple as closing your eyes for a minute in the middle of the day, as well as by intentionally unplugging from electronics at the end of every day. Intentional moments of sensory deprivation can begin to undo the damage inflicted by the over-stimulating world.
The fourth type of rest is creative rest. This type of rest is especially important for anyone who must solve problems or brainstorm new ideas. Creative rest reawakens the awe and wonder inside each of us. Do you recall the first time you saw the Grand Canyon, the ocean or a waterfall? Allowing yourself to take in the beauty of the outdoors — even if it’s at a local park or in your backyard — provides you with creative rest.
But creative rest isn’t simply about appreciating nature; it also includes enjoying the arts. Turn your workspace into a place of inspiration by displaying images of places you love and works of art that speak to you. You can’t spend 40 hours a week staring at blank or jumbled surroundings and expect to feel passionate about anything, much less come up with innovative ideas.
Now let’s take a look at another individual — the friend whom everyone thinks is the nicest person they’ve ever met. It’s the person everyone depends on, the one you’d call if you needed a favor because even if they don’t want to do it, you know they’ll give you a reluctant “yes” rather than a truthful “no”. But when this person is alone, they feel unappreciated and like others are taking advantage of them.
This person requires emotional rest, which means having the time and space to freely express your feelings and cut back on people pleasing.Emotional rest also requires the courage to be authentic. An emotionally rested person can answer the question “How are you today?” with a truthful “I’m not okay” — and then go on to share some hard things that otherwise go unsaid.
If you’re in need of emotional rest, you probably have a social rest deficit too. This occurs when we fail to differentiate between those relationships that revive us from those relationships that exhaust us. To experience more social rest, surround yourself with positive and supportive people. Even if your interactions have to occur virtually, you can choose to engage more fully in them by turning on your camera and focusing on who you’re speaking to.
The final type of rest is spiritual rest, which is the ability to connect beyond the physical and mental and feel a deep sense of belonging, love, acceptance and purpose. To receive this, engage in something greater than yourself and add prayer, meditation or community involvement to your daily routine.
As you can see, sleep alone can’t restore us to the point we feel rested. So it’s time for us to begin focusing on getting the right type of rest we need.
Editor’s note: Fatigue can also be associated with numerous health problems, so please get checked out by your physician if it persists.
To learn more about Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith and her work, visit her website.This post was adapted from her TEDxAtlanta Talk. Watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/embed/ZGNN4EPJzGk?version=3&rel=1&showsearch=0&showinfo=1&iv_load_policy=1&fs=1&hl=en-US&autohide=2&wmode=transparent
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Saundra Dalton-Smith MD is a physician, researcher and the author of the book “Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity.” Her work has been featured by Fast Company, FOX, MSNBC and Psychology Today. Learn more at DrDaltonSmith.com or by following her on Instagram (@DrDaltonSmith) or LinkedIn (Linkedin.com/in/drdaltonsmith).
Common Causes of Hearing Loss
Hearing loss is one of the most common causes of concern among Americans over age 65 and can affect people at any age. With the right audiologist, you can learn which is the best behind the ear hearing aid for you. You might even discover that you need something inside the ear instead.
No matter what you do, you need to get support with your hearing, support that makes sense for you as an individual. This blog post will examine some of the more common causes of hearing loss and what you should do when you think that something may not be right with your hearing.
Common causes of hearing loss
Loud Noises
Loud noises are one of the most common causes of hearing loss. While you may be able to walk away from a loud concert or fireworks show without experiencing any issues, regular exposure to sounds at this volume over time can lead to tinnitus and even permanent damage in some cases. Tinnitus treatment is available, but of course prevention is always better than cure.
Infections
Infections like mumps or meningitis can lead to hearing loss. These infections are not as common today thanks to widespread vaccination programs, but you must talk with your doctor if you suspect an infection is the cause of your hearing issues. Treatment will vary depending on what exactly caused the problem and how severe it is, but antibiotics may be needed in some cases.
Diabetes
People who have diabetes are more likely to experience hearing loss than those who do not. This is because of the link between type II diabetes and nerve damage that can lead to tinnitus, dizziness, or even sudden deafness if left untreated for too long.
Suppose you suspect your hearing has been affected by diabetes. In that case, it’s important to consult with a doctor right away so they may examine your ears thoroughly and check for any signs of infection or other issues related to this condition. If possible, try to manage blood sugar levels as best as you can in order to keep potential complications at bay over time. If you have diabetes, you should have hearing tests carried out on a regular basis so that any problems can be picked up.
Injuries
Injuries from accidents like car crashes or sports injuries can lead to hearing loss. In most cases, these injuries are not permanent, but if the damage is severe enough, it could be more difficult for your doctors to treat and may leave you with some degree of long-term hearing problems.
Treatment will depend on what caused the issues and how bad they actually are, so make sure you speak honestly about any concerns you might have when visiting a doctor after an accident that has left you with a possible hearing impairment.
What to do if you suspect hearing loss
Visit an audiologist
If you have any reason to suspect that your hearing might be at risk, it’s essential to visit an audiologist as soon as possible so they can conduct a thorough test and help determine if there is anything wrong with your ears. This professional specializes in diagnosing issues related to the inner ear, which would include problems associated with tinnitus or even vertigo. If left untreated for too long, these conditions could actually lead to permanent damage over time, but treatment options are much more likely to succeed if caught early enough.
No matter what the issue may be, it’s always best not to ignore symptoms of potential hearing loss, especially when many causes are very easy to treat once detected by expert professionals like audiologists in this area of medicine!
Get a hearing aid
If the issue is something that cannot be treated with medication or surgery, you might consider trying a hearing aid. You can learn more about them, but these devices can be helpful even in cases where your loss was not caused by noise but instead an injury from years ago when it comes to allowing you to maintain some degree of normalcy in everyday life and quality of life.
While there are many treatment options available for those who suffer from hearing issues today, one thing is clear: if you suspect anything out of the ordinary related to your ears, then bring up any concerns as soon as possible so they may be adequately examined!
Benefits of hearing aids
The benefits of using a hearing aid are many, including enhanced socialization that can lead to better mental health and overall quality of life. Additionally, you will have more control over your environment when it comes to reducing loud noises or preventing them entirely if needed in some cases.
This is especially helpful for those who suffer from tinnitus which causes constant noise even while they sleep! Overall these devices provide an easy way for people with auditory issues related to aging or other medical conditions to gain back some degree of normalcy, so don’t hesitate if you think one might help make things easier on yourself today!
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
Spiced Wine Sachet *Great Gift Idea*
This is a great hostess gift, great for parties, or makes an inexpensive gift for someone at the office.
You will need
Tea sachet/Cheesecloth
Spices
Dry red wine
Pot/Slow cooker
Orange slices
Honey/Sugar (optional)
To make
For a cozy beverage to have by your side, fill the tea sachet (or a square of cheesecloth) with cloves, star anise, cinnamon sticks, and peppercorns to simmer in some wine. Or attach these sachets to a bottle of wine for a holiday gift.
To make spiced wine, pour a bottle of dry red wine into a pot or slow cooker, and place the sachet into the wine. Add a few orange slices and simmer on low, do not boil, for about 45 minutes. Sweeten the wine with a few tablespoons of honey or sugar, if desired.
Serve in mugs with garnishes like cinnamon sticks or star anise.
Melinda
Refernce:
Blog Tour Interview With Bestselling Author Nancy Naigle For Her Latest Book The Shell Collector
Today I had the pleasure of talking with Bestselling Author Nancy Naigle author of over 25 books about her latest book The Shell Collector. The Blog Tour hits the road October 4th-10th, 2021. Be sure to check out the incredible give-a-way, details below.
About the Author
USA Today bestselling author Nancy Naigle whips up small-town love stories with a whole lot of heart. She began her popular contemporary romance series, Adams Grove while juggling a successful career in finance and life on a seventy-six-acre farm. Over twenty-five novels later, Nancy is a Romance Writers of America and ACFW Honor Roll author. Her books have been translated into multiple languages and received favorable reviews from major trade journals. Nancy’s latest release, THE SHELL COLLECTOR, is a touching novel of a friendship that crosses generations, and learning how even the smallest gifts can change a life for good.
Crown Media has adapted several of Nancy’s novels for Hallmark Channel, and Nancy novelized three Hallmark Original Movies set in the town of Evergreen. Hallmark fans may have recently enjoyed The Secret Ingredient and new in 2021 Sand Dollar Cove in the Summer Nights programming-both inspired by her novels.
Now happily retired from a career in the financial industry, this Virginia girl devotes her time to writing, antiquing, and horseback riding with friends.
Download a complete list of Nancy’s books at NancyNaigle, then stay up to date with future releases by joining Nancy’s free newsletter -or on Twitter @nancynaigle
Hugs and happy reading~
Blurb
“The Shell Collector is a beautiful story full of love, loss, and second chances.”—#1 New York Times bestselling author Debbie Macomber
From USA Today bestselling author Nancy Naigle, The Shell Collector is a touching novel of a friendship that crosses generations, and learning how even the smallest gifts can change a life for good.
Two years after her husband’s death, Amanda Whittier has two children to raise alone, an abandoned dream of starting a business, and a fixer-upper cottage by the sea. She has no room in her life for anything else and little interest in moving on after losing the man she loved.
Paul Grant is a relative newcomer to the area, and his work with former military dogs needing rehabilitation has been good for the town. Though he loved once before, he’s convinced he’s not suited for romance and is determined to find meaning—alone—through his work and role in the community.
Widowed Maeve Lindsay was born and raised on Whelk’s Island. Spirited, kind, and a little mischievous, she pours her life into the town. But she carries a secret that shapes her every move.
Together, these three souls find encouragement in the most mysterious places and discover a love that’s bigger than their pain, healing their wounded hearts in ways none of them could have hoped for or expected.
352 pages Published 2021
How did you get the idea for The Shell Collector?
I lost my husband to a really short battle with cancer in January 2014. Just three months and my whole world changed. Five weeks later I lost a cousin to cancer too. Grief is an incredibly hard thing to navigate. My cousin had shared a story with me about a friend of our family who walked the beach every morning. One day with something particularly heavy on her heart she kicked up a shell in the surf. When she picked up the shell, she noticed a message written inside. Not any message, but a scripture and one that seemed to be written just for her and what she was worried about.
That story hung on my heart after losing my cousin, and as I navigated my own grief slowly a story of two widows, one an older woman who walks the beach every day, the other a young mother of two who has just moved to the beach town to get her life going again after losing her husband two years prior. They help each other through, and the cross-generational friendship is so beautiful. I still tear up just talking about it. It’s about navigating grief to hope and happiness, and I promise there’s a lot of happiness in this story too. The setting is fictional, but imagine a small town on the North Carolina shore where the community pulls together and the off-season is precious. I grew up in Virginia Beach. Mom and I walked the beach all the time, and my younger brother and I played there. Reliving those playful memories through the two young children in this story was a joy.
#1 New York Times Best Selling Author Debbie Macomber wrote “The Shell Collector is a beautiful story full of love, loss and second chances.” What does it mean to you to be applauded by your peers?
Oh, my goodness! I’m such a fan girl, and I am so humbled and grateful to have had the chance to meet most all of my favorite authors. To have them endorse my book is still a “pinch-me” moment. I’m tearing up just thinking about the lovely quotes that were offered for The Shell Collector. This book came out of a very special place in my heart so the kind words are even sweeter a reward for this story.
If I were to ask a young Nancy what she wanted to be when she grew up, what would you have said and why?
LOL. Well, young Nancy wanted to be a zoologist and specialize in designing animal habitats. I still love the zoo! Somewhere around junior high I started dreaming of working for a big company in the city. Before I took early retirement to write full-time, I was a Senior Vice President with Ban of America. Writing was never on my radar as a career. When I turned 40 I decided I wanted to write one book to help one girl get through one bad day. That was the goal. It took me nine years to get that one book published, and it wasn’t until about book nine that I started thinking about making the leap to writing full-time as a realistic option.
What magazines are on your coffee table right now?
Cowboys & Indians (with Matthew McConaughey on the cover from earlier this summer) and REAL SIMPLE.
Who are your favorites authors? What are you reading right now?
The impossible question! You know I’m good friends with lots and lots of authors. I love and read them all. I’m currently reading Bookshop by the Sea by Denise Hunter. Books and beach—sounds like a winner to me!
Where do you go to find inspiration? Do you have a special quiet place?
I am inspired by life. Talking to people. Visiting new places. Trying new things. Living life with no agenda fills my creative well.
Tell me about your experience of making a book into a movie?
It’s a dream come true, but you should know that once the production company buys the option to turn my book into a movie, it’s out of my hands. They get to streamline the story as they see fit, and they don’t look for advice from the author. It’s exciting to see what pieces and parts of a 90,000 word novel they choose to include in the screenplay which is roughly 110 pages and about 20,000 words. ☺ Pssst – the book is always better!
What was the inspiration behind painting quotes on shells?
Well, I shared the original inspiration for the inscribed shells in the book above, but did you know I also have been painting shells and inscribing them for readers since the book released? Let me tell you about that!
I create a Pinterest board for every book I write while I’m writing it. Any research I do results in pics tucked away on that board. Now, that doesn’t mean it always ends up in the book, but it’s a great way to create an inspiration board. Along the journey of researching THE SHELL COLLECTOR I ran across the most beautiful shells. I decided to try my hand at it, and enjoyed it so much I’ve painted 100s of them! I use black chalk paint as a base, then dip, dot and dab acrylic paint using tiny brushes and mandala tools to pretty them up. In each one I write my favorite quote from the book ~ Interrupt Worry With Gratitude.
What’s next for you? Do you have a book or project already in the works?
More books! WHAT REMAINS TRUE comes out 5/3/2021. It is set in the same small mountain town of Antler Creek that my holiday novel, CHRISTMAS ANGELS, was set. Read that one this winter to get ready for the new release. WHAT REMAINS TRUE is already available for preorder at all your favorite retailers.
How would you like readers to follow or get in touch with you?
https://twitter.com/NancyNaigle
https://www.instagram.com/nancynaigle/
The Shell Collector Give-A-Way
Here’s how to enter:
Giveaway:
Autographed copy of the book, beach bag, and hand-painted shell with a quote from the book.
Link: https://woorise.com/thebookreviewcrew/the-shell-collector
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Melinda
World Mental Health Day
World Mental Health Day is an international day for global mental health education, awareness and advocacy against social stigma. It was first celebrated in 1992 at the initiative of the World Federation for Mental Health, a global mental health organization with members and contacts in more than 150 countries. This day, each October, thousands of supporters come to celebrate this annual awareness program to bring attention to mental illness and its major effects on peoples’ lives worldwide. In some countries this day is part of an awareness week, such as Mental Health Week in Australia.
I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder at 19 years old and didn’t get treatment until ten years later. I let my own stigma and depression dictate my well-being. I lost many good years to depression, rage, fear, and mania. It cost me in every aspect of my life: friends, money, jobs, and family.
Today I’m healthy with the help of medication and regular therapy sessions. I’m happy and have found a great medical team. This was critical to my success. If you can’t communicate with your Psychiatrist or Therapist, get another and keep changing until you can be honest with them.
I can’t stress enough how your General Practitioner isn’t qualified to manage your ongoing Mental Health matters. They are a good start but after trying medication and not getting better, you need to seek out a Psychiatrist or Therapist. They are the only ones who are specialized to understand the complex nature of Mental Health and Mental Illness.
Your Mental Health matters, every day!
Melinda
Homemade Beard Scrub for the Man in your life *Great Gift Idea
This makes a great gift for the men in your life. And it’s so simple to make.
By Danielle Williams
You Will Need
1/2 cup organic can sugar
4 tsp. olive oil
Bowl
Glass jar
Fabric scrap
Dried flower
To Make
Combine the sugar and olive oil in a bowl. Transfer the scrub to a glass jar, wrap it with a strip of fabric, and tuck in a dried flower clipping.
To Use
Gently massage a dollop of scrub on the face in a circular motion. Rinse off and apply your favorite mousurizer. Use whenever your face or beard area feels itchy or flacky.
Fun Facts That Will Amaze You
I’m so glad you are enjoying the new weekend tradition. I love hearing your comments!
African lions catch about 20% of the prey they chase. Dragonflies catch 95%.
A “cronut” is a cross between a doughnut and a croissant.
Amazon.com was originally called a cadabra.
A human loses about a million skin cells per 24 hours.
Rabbits can see behind them without moving their head.
Even though the blue whale is the largest animal on earth, it can’t swallow anything bigger than a beach ball.
Every year, about 100 billion servings of instant ramen are sold each year, or about 14 bowls per person.
Mistletoe has no scent.
A Chihuahua and a dachshund mix is a “chiweenie
The Hungarian word for “quotation marks” is “macskaköröm,” which literally translates to “cat claws.”
Enjoy!
Melinda
‘I Never Set Out To Be a Musician; I Set Out to Learn How To Be Happy’ Jewel Says of Her Hard-Fought Journey
Parade
SEPTEMBER 30, 2021
A music industry mainstay and folk icon since her 1995 album Pieces of You, Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter Jewel didn’t intend to be famous. “I never set out to be a musician; I set out to learn how to be happy,” she says.
(DAVID “DOC” ABBOTT)
Songwriting led her away from the troubled path she walked as a teen—she ran away from an abusive home, fell into a pattern of stealing and homelessness and battled frequent anxiety attacks. She taught herself techniques to become more mindful and to help quell anxiety, “and I wrote [songs] as a way of keeping track of my progress.”
What followed was chart-topping fame thanks to her vulnerable and emotional music. Her self-observation in those early years became a lifelong quest to educate others about the benefits of mindfulness and tools to improve mental wellness. “For some reason, I’ve had a talent for two things: One is writing songs, and one is creating practical exercises that rewire my brain,” says the 47-year-old, who shares research-backed techniques at her website Never Broken.
She works alongside the Inspiring Children Foundation to provide young people and adults with tools to manage anxiety, and is releasing her 13th studio album this fall—“the first record I’ve written from scratch in my whole career.” The songs, she says, are a raw, honest and authentic representation of her current stage.
We spoke with Jewel about how becoming more mindful has had an impact on her life, her favorite technique for calming anxiety and some common misconceptions about meditation that we all need to move past.
Related: Why Jewel Swears By Meditation for Anxiety
What are some mindfulness techniques you taught yourself as a young musician?
While homeless, I had a year of creating a lot of breakthroughs for myself and exercises that were practicable. I started to look at addictive patterns and thinking, Well, if my brain can get addicted to that, maybe it can get addicted to good things. It was through a lot of self-observation I learned that if I want tomorrow to feel different, I have to do something different than I did yesterday. That’s how I learned to be present. And then I learned how to put that presence to work.
What does it mean to be “dilated” and “contracted”?
I believe we have two states of being: dilated and contracted. Start to notice when you feel relaxed and open, that’s dilated. When the body feels tight, that’s contracted. Write in a journal: what are you thinking, feeling or doing? Because every single thought, feeling or action is going to lead to one of those two states. You’re going to start recognizing, “Oh, I always dilate or feel calm when I talk to Susie, when I walk in nature, when I get exercise, when I feel rested, when I’m pursuing that passion.” Or you might feel tight and contracted when X, Y, Z happens. You’ll start to see the things you’re consuming in your life—the thoughts, feelings, actions and behaviors—that do or don’t agree with you.
What’s the biggest misconception about meditating?
Think of meditation as a bicep curl for your brain, one that builds the muscle of how to be present. Let’s pretend you’re in a business meeting. The person who’s the most present is going to observe the most. And whoever observes the most and can act on that observation quicker, has the edge. Building presence is incredibly good for every area of your life because it makes you a higher performer.
I think the biggest misconception about meditation is that you shouldn’t have thoughts. People feel like they’re losing if they have thoughts. They think meditation is some amazing state where you hear the universal “om” and your mind goes blank and it feels awesome. That’s not what it is. Your brain will have thoughts, but every time you notice the thought, you come back to the breath, the present moment. And that’s the bicep curl, that’s winning.
And sometimes that process can feel uncomfortable?
Learning to meditate can feel like quitting smoking. You feel like your skin is crawling because you’re going through distraction addiction withdrawals—you’re so used to checking your phone and emails that your body is giving you the impulse to check them, just like smoking. When you sit and try to abstain from that, your neurochemicals are still going to try and stimulate you to do the behavior. It doesn’t feel comfortable. But I want people to know that the great thing about being present is you now have a chance to ask, “Do I like what my life is doing? Do I like this behavior? Is it serving me? And would I rather do something else?” Those are really important questions so we don’t end up late in life realizing we got way off course.
How do you stay consistent?
Meditation is about being willing to make a small commitment to yourself and being consistent with that. You don’t have to run a marathon; just try five breaths. Or maybe it’s 10 breaths every morning before you get up. Make it doable. And then if you want, you can build from there.
Are there days you still get anxious?
Yes. If I notice I’m really contracted, I ask, “What was I just thinking, feeling or doing?” I use that exercise all the time. Then I’ll realize I was just feeling badly because of what so and so said. But I don’t have panic attacks anymore. I’m not agoraphobic anymore. A lot of those things go away, but your anxiety is kind of your ally. It’s your body communicating: Are you in agreement with your life? Are you in agreement with your surroundings? I still feel anxious, but it isn’t scary or debilitating. I have tools to deal with it and understand it.
What do you mean by using anxiety as an ally?
Anxiety can be your body telling you you’re consuming something in your environment that doesn’t agree with you, whether it’s a thought or an interaction. So think of your anxiety as an ally. That’s one of my favorite daily practices to teach people if they’re struggling with any type of anxiety. And it’s a really good example of putting your presence and mindfulness to work.
When you look back at your rise to fame, what are some feelings you remember?
I had such a meteoric rise that I was exhausted. I needed time to psychologically adjust. I had to give myself permission to stop and say, “Do you still want to be a musician? Does this actually work for you?” Because that level of fame made me pretty unhappy. I’m an introverted writer and all of a sudden, I was so famous.
I realized the pace of my career was very difficult for me psychologically. You can’t just have constant output; you need input at some point. I realized I needed to read books. I needed to have quiet time. I needed time to let my mind drift. I can’t just tour and make records, tour and make records. And if I wait a couple years between records, it keeps the fame at a level I can handle. I started doing that. And it was a radical thing to do.
You promised yourself as a young musician to always focus on your own happiness.
I’m very proud that 25 years into my career, I’ve never let myself down on that promise. And it’s why I made decisions that might have hurt my fame or my celebrity but were good for my mental health. Nobody’s encouraging musicians to take a year off to handle the almost traumatic experience of becoming famous. And it’s something I hope every musician gives themselves permission to do. I’m very proud of what Simone Biles did for instance. Because a gold medal is not winning if you also want to die.
What is your relationship with social media?
My self-worth does not depend on how many likes I have. I can’t say it was always that way, but I feel fine engaging on social media now. It’s really helpful as a musician because I have a direct relationship with my fans, which is really nice. But consider how you interact with it, how it affects your mental health. If it’s affecting you in a negative way, ask yourself, “What about this is flipping my switch?” I don’t think social media is bad—it’s how we relate to our social media apps.
When you look back at your songwriting years from now, what do you hope to see?
I want to look back on my life as my artwork, not just my songs. I would feel dumb if my songs were my best work of art. I want my life to be my best work of art, and that means I have to give every aspect of my life, my time and thought and intention and consideration. And in this job, that really isn’t what we do. We want a relationship, we want to be parents, we want to have all these aspects working well. And to do that means you better make time and a plan to make those things feel good to you.
Why did you want to write this album from scratch, not use any of your back catalogue?
I’ve always been prolific, and always written a steady stream of multiple genres. And I’ve had a back catalogue of 1000s of songs my whole career. So even by the time I put out my first album, I had a couple 100 songs and was able to pick 14 for Piece of You. And it kept going my whole career. I just was lucky to be prolific. And so maybe would write one song per record per project. With this record, I wanted to write it from scratch. I just wanted it to be completely from the ground up who I was now. And it was one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done. I see why middle aged artists do a lot of drugs (laughs)!
I don’t like covering the same ground twice. It’s just my personality. I like being uncomfortable and putting myself in an uncomfortable place that’s authentic to me. That’s why I like to try different things. So this record was a really wild process, I wrote over 200 songs to get these songs that made it on the album. So it really took a while to get a group that sounded like they were of a piece of a body that felt raw and honest but also were representative of who and what I am now and that pushed me some way creatively in a way I haven’t been pushed before. So the result is this record. It has a much more soul feel than any record I’ve ever done. I wrote for my vocals I think for the first time. I don’t know why I’ve never written for my voice. It sounds kind of funny saying it out loud. I just always serve the story and didn’t really think about showing off. But I wanted this to showcase my singing so I wrote for my voice. And hopefully I did not compromise on the storytelling aspect.
All of my records feel like folk music to me, in the sense of what folk music is. I should look up the dictionary and see if there’s an actual definition. But my definition of folk music is songs that speak to people and doesn’t use art as propaganda. And so the album has that same sense in it. And I’m really excited about it and really excited to play it.
More About The Whole Me
We all have many facets to our personality, many of which don’t show up in our blogs. I wanted to share more about the other parts of my life that make me a whole person.
Love Home Design, all aspects including color.
I love looking at Real Estate every day! Not that we’re moving, I just like to see what others are doing with their house and keep on top of the market. Of course, I also look at luxury properties we can only afford if we win the Lotto.
I collect Globes
I eat the same thing for lunch 99% of the time. Yogurt with fruit on top, most of the time strawberries.
I eat the same dinner two nights a week 75% of the time. A muffin with one yogurt.
I have to brush my teeth after eating.
I eat out of a bowl for every meal.
I have a green/slightly yellow thumb. Very green outside, slightly yellow inside.
I love books and it’s very hard to part with them when I run out of room.
I’m pretty mechanically inclined. I discovered what was wrong with the disposal just this week.
I love to cook but hate washing the dishes. I have good dishes for cooking to hand wash and others to go in the diswasher.
I wanted to be a Life Magazine Photo Journalist from the time I was in sixth grade.
I don’t have any children but worry a great deal about the future of children.
I feel helpless when it comes to helping women in other countries even though I make charity contributions.
What are some of the other aspects of your life you don’t share on your blog? I would love to hear.
Melinda
National Bullying Prevention Month
This week there was a school shooting that injured four people. The teen got into a fight and pulled out a 45 caliber handgun from his backpack. I won’t go into what’s wrong with Texas gun laws and how a teen was able to get a gun. I will say that his parents knew he was being bullied. What did they do? I don’t know but will say they did not get him help for his level of anger. Now his life is forever changed and he will spend time in jail, maybe 20 years. A young life wasted.
I was bullied from a young age, I had buck teeth. I was called bucky, beaver, rabbit, you name it, I got called it. Then it was because my granny made my clothes, I guess that made me a target for bullying. When I reached Junoir High School I had braces so I was called metal mouth, tin grin again all the names you can think of.
The worst bullying came when someone lied to my best childhood friend who had a cleft palate that I made fun of her about it. We grew up next door together since we were born. That didn’t matter. Her friends followed me home from school, pushed me to the ground, hit me over the head with a coke bottle, and kicked me many times. Then one day my friend said to meet me at her house, the house I grew up next to. She wanted to set the record straight. I went to her house, there were at least twenty kids waiting to see her kick my but. And she did. I walked home and that was the end of that story.
Bullying is not like it was when I was a kid. Now kids are bullied on social media by thousands of people who don’t even know them at a time when they are going thru so many emotional changes and identity crises.
Last year I made the mistake of leaving a comment on a celebrity’s social channel, what I said was completely taken out of context. I had over 20 thousand people wanting to strangle me, I received over a hundred death threats and worse. I was called every name in the book and it stung! I was not a bully but was made out to be one. Another lesson learned, never leave a message on social media!
National Bullying Prevention Month is a campaign in the United States founded in 2006 by PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center. The campaign is held during the month of October and unites communities nationwide to educate and raise awareness of bullying prevention. Traditionally held the first week in October, the event was expanded in 2010 to include activities, education, and awareness building for the entire month. National Bullying Prevention Month is recognized in communities across the United States, with hundreds of schools and organizations signing on as partners. Facebook, CNN and Yahoo! Kids have supported the month through media outreach and dissemination. PACER developed the initial campaign National Bullying Prevention and Awareness Week in response to the need to raise awareness of bullying, as it was historically viewed “a childhood rite of passage” and believed that bullying “made kids tougher”, when the reality is that bullying has devastating effects such as school avoidance, loss of self-esteem, increased anxiety, and depression.
For National Bullying Awareness Month I encourage everyone who has a child in school at any age to start talking about how to diffuse a bully and talk with you about being bullied. I know going to the school can aggravate the situation if it’s not handled right and that for you to hold the school accountable if they blow things off or handle them poorly. We can’t let out children get so angry and scared they get a gun and go to school and shoot someone or many people. Don’t think it won’t be your kid, the kid yesterday came from a very nice neighborhood and family.
If you have a tween or teen, you must monitor their social channels. I understand they need to level of responsibility but they have to earn it. Even if you give them the right to not have a shared password, you have to follow them and check out the people they are following. It is critical to find out what your child is up to.
Bullying is not a schoolyard thing anymore, children are being bullied 365 days a year, 24/7 on social media on top of school and other activities.
Bullying also has a tremendous impact on your child’s mental health. Look for clues here, look for signs of change.
Talk to your children.
Here are a few resources.
How to talk to your kids about bullying
How to talk to your child about being bullying
School-age bullying, how to help your child
Please don’t take the approach my parents did and say never fight back, that doesn’t work anymore neither does carrying a gun to school.
Melinda
Friday Quote
Have a great weekend!
So glad you stopped by today and look forward to hearing your comments.
Melinda
The Value of Hiring a Parenting Coach —Guest Blogger bryandunst
Bryan Dunst discusses the value of hiring a parenting coach.
The Value of Hiring a Parenting Coach — bryandunst
Tackle Common Causes Of Anxiety
You only have to listen to the headlines or read the newspaper to see that anxiety levels are rising and a growing number of people are experiencing stress. In this guide, we’ll discuss some common causes of stress and anxiety and offer tips to help you cope.
Unemployment is one of the most talked-about subjects at the moment, with many people losing their jobs or businesses and others struggling to hang on in theirs. Balancing the books is challenging at the best of times when you’re trying to manage a household or raise kids, but the pandemic has exacerbated difficulties and made staying in the black virtually impossible for some. If you’re experiencing financial strain, or you’ve lost your job, there is help out there. Don’t hesitate to seek advice about incentives or support measures that are available to you during the crisis and look for opportunities to increase your income if your workload is reduced or you’ve lost your job. From Forex Trading, to online courses, blogging to temporary jobs, it’s possible to find solutions, even if they are only a short-term option to tide you over. It’s also beneficial to try and reduce spending on non-essential items and to budget to make your money stretch further and to find out about programs that could prevent you from getting into debt in the weeks ahead. Some companies are offering freezes on loan and credit card payments, for example.
Relationships can make or break us. While some relationships lift our spirits and make us feel secure and content, others can have a negative impact. Break-ups are tough and it can take a long time to come to terms with the fact that you’re moving in a direction that is different from the one you expected to take. You might have envisioned spending your entire life with a partner, only to find that you’re now on your own. Take your time to process what has happened and to heal. Lean on the people closest to you and try to focus on the present, rather than the past. Often, relationships don’t work, and once you have a sense of perspective and time has passed, you realize that there was a good reason for parting. Let yourself feel and experience emotions and don’t put too much pressure on yourself to get on with life, start dating or stop feeling upset about the situation. Move at your own pace. Everyone copes in different ways and there is no right or wrong way to deal with relationship breakdowns.
Do you feel like you’re swimming against the tide, or do you dread the alarm going off every morning? It’s rare to find a job you enjoy every minute of every day, but work shouldn’t be a source of severe stress or anxiety. If you are feeling under pressure, or you’re struggling to switch off, talk to your boss about your workload, address issues that are getting to you and take some time out. It’s crucial to have a balance and to enjoy downtime. Learn to say no. If you’re already working too many hours without pay, or your to-do list is endless, don’t take on more work or sign yourself up for extra commitments after work. Rest, relax and look after yourself.
Stress and anxiety are rife at the moment. If you’re struggling, you’re not alone. There are myriad causes, but help is available. Don’t hesitate to reach out and try and take care of yourself as best you can.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
Can You Spot The Signs A Friend May Be Feeling Stressed?
We, humans, are complicated creatures capable of expressing thousands of emotions. This site shows you that anxiety and stress are common across the natural world, and animals have many ways of showing it. Unfortunately for us, humans can also be very good at hiding those emotions too, so it isn’t always possible to tell how a loved one or friend is feeling. Here are a few common signs that may suggest your friend is feeling more anxious or stressed than normal.
Irritable
If you have noticed that small things seem to be bothering your friend more than usual, this could be a symptom of stress or anxiety. The Calm Clinic suggests that irritability is a common sign of anxiety and can cause people to unexpectedly get upset or even lash out. If your friend has displayed these symptoms, do not be afraid to quietly and sympathetically tell them you have noticed a difference in their behavior and ask if there is anything you can do to help. They may not have noticed the change yet themselves, so give them time and space if they need it to think about their behavior and any reasons that might be causing them to feel more irritable.
Not Sleeping
If your colleague at work is constantly reaching for the coffee, making silly mistakes, and looking exhausted, they may not be getting enough sleep. Anxiety and stress can throw off sleep patterns very quickly. According to Medical News Today, the link between stress and sleep deprivation is very common, with only 35% of Americans getting the correct amount of sleep. A lack of sleep can cause mental health problems to worsen and deepen, so sleep deprivation must be tackled. Again, this is a case of having a quiet word and asking if there is anything that keeps them up at night. If there is a worry often sharing it confidentially can help a friend to put things into perspective. Assure your friend that any discussions can be confidential, and you would only ever break confidentiality if you were worried they may harm themselves or others.
Diet Changes
Our diet can fluctuate wildly due to stress and anxiety. Some people may overeat or reach for junk food over healthier options. Others swing the other way and may cut out food altogether. Of course, dietary changes are not always linked to mental health. Only raise the question with a friend if you feel the pattern has been sustained over a substantial period, and if you suspect stress or anxiety may be the trigger for the dietary shift. You can help someone by offering to cook meals or to share lunches with them. Even a few meals in a freezer that they can reach for when they don’t have the energy to cook can make a huge difference to someone’s overall well-being.
If your friend does let you know that they are feeling more anxious or stressed than usual, then reassure your friend that there are easy steps you can both take together which will help. Look online for expert advice and positive stories from those who have been in similar situations.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
Depression Screening Day
Whether for heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes or depression, health screenings provide a quick and easy way to spot the first signs of serious illness and can reach people who might not otherwise seek professional medical advice.
Major depression is one of the most common mental illnesses, affecting 6.7% (more than 16 million) of American adults each year.[1]
Like screenings for other illnesses, depression screenings should be a routine part of healthcare.
Why Screen For Depression?
- Clinical depression is a serious medical illness.
- Clinical depression can lead to suicide.
- Sometimes people with depression mistakenly believe that the symptoms of depression are a “normal part of life.”
- Clinical depression affects men and women of all ages, races and socioeconomic groups.
- Only about a third (35.3%) of those suffering from severe depression seek treatment from a mental health professional. [2]
- Depression can co-occur and complicate other medical conditions.
- Screenings are often the first step in getting help.
Take an online depression screening. MHA’s screening tools are free, anonymous, and confidential.
Who Should Get Screened?
People suffering from depression often experience some of these key symptoms:
- A persistent sad, anxious or “empty” mood
- Sleeping too little, early morning awakening, or sleeping too much
- Reduced appetite and weight loss, or increased appetite and weight gain
- Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed
- Restlessness or irritability
- Difficulty concentrating, remembering or making decisions
- Fatigue or loss of energy
- Thoughts of death or suicide
Screenings are not a professional diagnosis. Screenings point out the presence or absence of depressive symptoms and provide a referral for further evaluation if needed. You should see your doctor or a qualified mental health professional if you experience five or more of these symptoms for longer than two weeks or if the symptoms are severe enough to interfere with your daily routine.
Learn More About Depression:
Co-occurring Disorders and Depression
Sources
[1] Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, Results from the 2013 National Survey on Drug Use and Health: Mental Health Findings, NSDUH Series H-49, HHS Publication No. (SMA) 14-4887. Rockville, MD: Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, 2014.
[2] Pratt LA, Brody DJ. Depression in the U.S. household population, 2009–2012. NCHS data brief, no 172. Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics. 2014.[2] Pratt LA, Brody DJ. Depression in the U.S. household population, 2009–2012. NCHS data brief, no 172. Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics. 2014.
Please take a few minutes to do the online screening if you are feeling depressed or are having any of the other symptoms. Early diagnosis is critical. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Melinda
Top Tips for Finding a Location for Your Business
Are you looking to start, or expand your business? If so, one of the important aspects of your business is the premises. Whether you are a brick-and-mortar store, or just need a physical location to house your warehouse, or office for employees, there are many factors you need to consider before making a decision. Locating a building for your business is a large investment, and needs a lot of careful planning.
Here are some top tips for finding premises for your business.
#1 Location
Location is crucial, as this will impact your employee’s and clients’ ability to access you so you can still operate as a business, as well as storage for supplies, manufacturing, and deliveries. Thoroughly research the different areas that would be best suited to your business, as well as new real estate developments, such as those of Paul Ognibene, which are known to bring together and enhance communities and build sustainable real estate. These kinds of communities can be hugely beneficial to your business and are a more cost-effective location to set up shop.
#2 Business requirements
Each business will have its unique requirements for new premises. It is important that you consider both the short-term and long-term goals of your business, and consider what specifications are essential, and which ones can be compromised on. This will considerably speed up the process, as you don’t waste your time with unsuitable properties. For example, you should consider:
- Space your employees, customers and supplies need now
- How big you are planning to extend your company in the years to come and the extra space that may be required
- The layout of the building (open space, ability to add dividers, private room, toilets, accessibility for people and deliveries, etc)
- The services that your business requires, such as good internet speed, phone lines, electrical sockets, plumbing, air conditioning, ventilation (do you have permission to add/remove services, and if so, how much will this cost your business?)
- Comfort for customers and employees (space, heat, ventilation, bathrooms, kitchen, privacy, etc)
- Is the building legally sufficient for your business to operate?
- Do you need to obtain licenses to run your business?
- Do you need planning permission?
#3 Costs
Costs play a major role in the choice of building for your business. Before looking at buildings, it is a good idea to consider your budget. Where are you right now? What can you afford? Where do you want your business to grow in 5, or 10 years? How much are you willing to invest in its growth? Once you have an initial budget, you will be able to start considering your options. When it comes to locating a premises, you can opt to license, lease, buy or build. The option you choose will entirely depend on your budget, your commitment, your growth, the size of your business, the industry, the location, permissions, business requirements, availability, and much more. At this point, it is a good idea to speak to commercial real estate specialists who will be able to advise you on your options.
Locating business premises is no small undertaking. Make sure you are clear on your business goals and conduct thorough research before making any commitments.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
Book Tour Interview For How To Heal Financial Anxiety By Michele Paiva
I had the privilege of interviewing Michele Paiva for the upcoming Book Tour promoting her new book How To Heal Financial Anxiety. She is a very interesting lady and I know you will agree. Be sure to check out the exclusive offer from Michele at the bottom of the post.
About the Author
Michele Paiva is a licensed psychotherapist with 30 years of experience, and a sought-after expert in trauma, neuromarketing, and finance therapy by the media. She’s been featured in Oprah magazine, Vogue, Forbes, The Washington Post, USA Today, and speaker at the American Marketing Association, several universities, and many organizations. She holds post-graduate certificates from Harvard Medical School as well as Wharton Business School. She is a real estate and biotech investor as well as an angel investor. She lives with her husband and visits with her adult children and grandchild often. Neurodivergent herself, she feels passionate about and is an advocate for self-value and equality within diversity. She was initiated by His Holiness the Dali Lama in 2013 and Buddhism is at the foundation of her work.
Blurb
Are you tired of feeling stressed over money?
Do you feel financially humiliated instead of confidently happy?
Have you had an abuser or narcissist in your past that stole your joy and your sense of security?
When your finances suffer, your entire life suffers from your health and relationships to education and opportunities. Planning for the future seems pointless when you are drowning in debt.
Your habits, patterns of thought, and behaviors, including your money and mind connection, are often handed down through generations and neuroplastic changes in the brain due to childhood stress and trauma. Then, there are social stigmas also causing negative neuroplastic changes.
It is not your fault!
The good news is that all of this can be cleared up fairly easily with targeted actions and awareness.
No more feeling stressed over money or your life, it’s time to be fiscally-fearless and emotionally free.
What you will receive:
✓ A deeply therapeutic experience for your feelings and finances
✓Over 60 neuroscience-based activities to explore
✓ A complimentary downloadable pdf workbook to take you through the year
✓ A weekly support group that is email-based, to sustain your financial healing process so you never feel alone.
✓ Invites to discounted and complimentary workshops and events, including facilitator training and certification.
Why Buddhism for the foundation of your work?
Thank you for asking! The short answer is that Buddhism and science go hand in hand. Buddhism is often thought to be the foundation of psychology in many ways, Psychology means the study of the soul or mind, which is exactly what Buddhism asks of us, in practice.
The long answer is, for me personally, growing up and living an adult Christian and Jewish life, which I still honor, I found that the teachings of Buddhism deeply moved me and I found it to be inclusive rather than exclusive, which spoke to me. Meaning, you can still practice Christianity and practice Buddhism, as Buddhism does not require you to give up any part of yourself. Buddhism is a practice that is both a lifestyle and/or a religion. One need not believe anything specifically nor does one need to be devout in any way, when in your own personal practice. This allows for flexibility and healing, as in therapy, “meeting you where you are”.
My mother and often my father enjoyed learning about Buddhism. In my teens, my mother was even more interested in Buddhism, and we had a beautiful jade buddha in the kitchen which represented happiness, joy, and prosperity. The presence was not nor is it ever, to worship, it was to remember to be self-aware and bring oneself to peaceful thoughts.
I wanted to be able to bring that to my clients in subtle ways. In fact, my book and website use a jade-teal color to give homage to that memory and (my) energetic intention to anyone who visits.
I keep it as a foundation of my work because I’ve seen and experienced its transformative potential. I do not expect or even wish my clients or readers to alter any of their beliefs, I only enjoy sharing some lessons that I’ve learned that I feel will help them; tweaked to fit the design of the solution I feel will offer support.
What are neuroplastic changes?
The brain reorganizes itself quite often and we are learning more and more about it. It was once thought that only in early development are we creating the “wiring” for adulthood but now we know that trauma changes the brain, chronic negativity, viewing negative behaviors such as one might see in social networking, or experiencing physical or mental struggles, to name a few. However, we also know now that learning changes the brain, positive feedback, affirmation, love, and relearning our sense of self.
An example of neuroplastic change would be being “bad” at direction because you simply do not need to be great at finding your way around. However, almost every seasoned NYC Cab driver would be considered very good at direction because they need to not only find their way around but manage last-minute traffic, being cut-off, construction, and so on. They have minds that have slowly reorganized and thus, even out of NYC, they tend to be location-savvy.
Maybe another example more relatable might be if someone is a good cook or horrific in the kitchen. Cooking is beyond following a recipe, it involves understanding how to use the utensils, understanding heating elements, and having a general passion or interest in creating a meal. Those who lack any of those elements might struggle more but after time, the “learning” is multi-faceted and they reorganize their mind to be more naturally adept at cooking. Or, you will be like me and have the fire company at your home at least once every few years, and be the source of countless jokes within the family for lousy cooking skills. On a personal note, I did take a vegan cooking course a few years ago and enjoyed it and now am the go-to vegan cook for a lot of my friends and family! That being said, it’s hard to screw up Tofu. Anything you do to it is an improvement, haha!
What type of social stigmas create financial anxiety?
So. Many. Stigmas.
One thing is that people often connect what they have to who they are. Meaning, they feel their self-value on some level, connects to their net worth. We all know that this is not the case intellectually but many of us would feel embarrassed riding around in what might be considered a jalopy of car or wearing dated and faded clothing. The stigmas go deeper.
Most people can easily discuss sexual problems like painful intercourse or the feeling of betrayal of a cheating spouse. However, ask those same people if they have savings, and they clam up or begin making nervous excuses because they feel that question is meant to critique them.
We grow up to “be” something. A question often asked if a child is “what do you want to “be” when you grow up. Or a teen might be asked “what do you want to “do”?” A new job? The questions are “What do you “do” for a living, and in that moment you might feel that they are silently figuring out your pay scale.
Some people are. I knew a woman once who watched children who were doing so because she was watching her own young children. She was a former teacher. One time she said to me, “I can’t believe these people can afford me. They are this strange blue-collar royalty”. First, talk about jealousy and insecurity, right? Second, what parasitic, living-in-a-bubble attitude. So yes, sometimes the fear of stigma is real because not everyone is emotionally mature and we should not care about what those limited mentality people think.
There are stigmas about food stamps for example, and yet I think the percentage is something like one in every ten Americans receives some form of nutrition support.
There are stigmas about gender and money. Men who are gay, bisexual, or openly transgender females, get paid almost 30% less on the dollar, especially if they are a person of color than their hetero-white male counterparts.
Millennials have stigmas as well as being lazy, bad with money, and irresponsible when in truth, that is not the case.
Stigmas are a mark of disgrace and this shame can etch away at someone’s health and wellness, not only their bank accounts. The problem is, the more they feel the stigmas and shame, the more they might try to spend or feel unworthy of saving because they begin to believe the discriminatory assumptions and outright displays.
One big issue is that some people were taught to not ask for help, and feel a money struggle means that they are weak, unsuccessful, and unworthy. This is a common theme. They suffer in silence and continue to feel overwhelmed and isolated. Most people do not even notice that they have an issue because they are just doing what everyone in their family or friendship circle seems to be doing.
I could go on and on but I’ll have to pay you for a therapy session if I vent anymore.
Tell me about the workshops you teach.
There are a few. My main focus is a mentorship that is personalized to the client. They work through a series of exercises that I have found through the years to be incredibly beneficial without “tearing off the scab” that protects their emotions. This one is personalized in that they fill out an intake and we have one phone call and support email communication after that, for the remainder of the month, with homework and feedback.
The other is the course to go with the book, which is a support resource to deepen one’s connection to healing financial anxiety and can be a stand-alone.
I am beginning a course on narcissistic tactics and strategies for recovery soon as well, as many narcissists abuse people’s money and their minds (and hearts, souls, etc). My background is trauma therapy and I blended business and trauma for my style of finance therapy.
I have to ask how you came to meet his Holiness the Dali Lama?
With misfortune, I did not meet him personally as in a handshake; in 2013, there was an initiation at the Beacon and I was thankful to have been able to register. He did a group initiation, and it was incredible to see him and hear him speak. I can honestly say that it was a highlight of my life. While I did get initiated by the Dalai Lama, I am actually in the Thich Nhat Hanh, Order of Interbeing, and run an online Sangha for Plum Village.
No doubt you read many periodicals but what do you read for fun?
Ohhh this is a biggie.. I love reading books by Maya Angelou and Alice Walker, both of who I did meet briefly when they spoke locally at Cheyney University. And yes, I did cry from sheer overwhelm in meeting them. I also enjoy the haiku of Sonia Sanchez, who I studied with one summer fairly recently and she is my other ‘life highlight” to have experienced. Aside from that, I love reading about ancient civilizations and theories like Fingerprints of the Gods. I’m also a fan of magazines like Town and Country and Vogue, as I love their highlights of creative people. A few other favorites: Flow and Creativity (two different books) by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, and The Moral Animal by Robert Wright.
One book I read over and over is Enchanted April, and also enjoy the movie of the same name.
If anyone loves fiction, that one is about a group of four very different women, coming together to find love and find themselves through a series of conflict resolution-focused experiences.
One of my other favorites of all time – The Secret Garden and, Grimms Fairy Tales!
There’s so many… soooo mannnnnyyyyy. I feel like I’d have to live 500 lifetimes to read everything that’s on my wishlist.. can you relate?
What do you hope readers will take away from your book?
That they are not broke or emotionally broken; it’s all the trauma, social stigmas and stress clouding them from seeing the potential within them. There is truth under their trauma.
How can readers get in touch with you?
To find out more about the great exclusive discount Michele is offering click here
I had the greatest time talking with Michele and I know you will enjoy her book as well as learn how to get a handle on your financial anxiety by tackling the bad habits you have when it comes to money.
Enjoy Reading
Melinda
Wordless Wednesday*Blue
Thanks for stopping by today, I appreciate you and look forward to your comments.
Have a great day!
Melinda
How to Flip a Property
If you’ve ever thought of flipping a house and tunning a profit, it’s an entirely viable way to earn a living, and significant profits can be made from this process. However, property flipping isn’t as easy or straightforward as it’s sometimes made you be on TV shows; you need to have a good idea of what you’re doing to avoid unnecessary wastage and lost profits.
Start with research
Flipping a home for revenue and doing it successfully starts at the point of research. This is an important starting point because it can affect the return on investment – Candea Development Has advice for first-time buyers. You don’t want to enter an expensive property market since your chances of turning a profit will be considerably smaller. Find the balance between the right market and the right property before investing any of your money.
Set a budget
Flipping a property for profit might seem like a slightly unconventional way of earning a living, but that doesn’t mean that you aren’t in business – on the contrary, flipping properties is a business in itself and requires a business plan. This business plan does not have to be extensive – not unless you are obtaining a bank loan – but it does have to contain a budget, a timeline, and a project scope.
Confirm your financing
You don’t want to be in the position of having your property accepted, and then the funding isn’t available to take the project forward; that’s why you need to carefully plan your funding prior to making your offer and have it confirmed. Bridge loans and ones that also cover renovation costs are good options for flipping a property, but remember to pay close attention to fees and interest rates as these can influence your profits.
Network with contractors
The more information you have on the overall cost of the property flipping project, the more easily you can plan the project and turn it into a success. There’s good news; you don’t have to wait until you own the property before you start the process of contacting contractors and obtaining quotes. The sooner you do, the sooner you can get started with the planning process.
Find and buy
Finding a home to flip is also part of the research stage; it’s important to find the balance between market price and saleability. The property you decide on needs to be below market price – but it also needs to be cheap enough to account for expenses and closing costs. Again, an agent can help you find the right property if you’re struggling at this stage.
Fix and sell
Investment property lenders are much faster than lenders for standard homes, and although the process still takes time, you should be ready to develop the home much earlier. More experienced house flippers tend to go for properties that require a complete renovation to maximize profits, but at the start, some cosmetic changes are entirely appropriate. When the renovation begins, you’re up against the clock right away because the more time you spend on the project, the more money you lose to interest payments and contractors.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
How to Make the Most out of your Fresh Start this Year
Sometimes, a fresh start is just what you need to bring back some joy into your life. Starting from fresh can take the form of moving to somewhere new or it can be starting a new job. Either way, if you are ready for a new beginning then this is your chance to understand more about the days ahead.
Plan some New Activities
Life can be unpredictable, but it should not stop you from being able to plan some stuff to do in your life. You need to try and live your life to the fullest and you also need to be able to take chances. If you need some inspiration then why not try and learn a new language? You might also want to learn how to cook, or even try your hand at learning an instrument. Either way, doing some new activities is certainly one of the best ways for you to try and expand your horizons as well as being able to make the most out of the time you have.
Make some New Friends
New friends can easily open you up to new perspectives and it can also bring about some unexpected opportunities as well. Sometimes if you want to build new relationships, you have to let go of old ones. You also need to try and put yourself out there so that you can be found. You can do this by signing up for social gatherings or even attending a concert. You can take a class, go to a church service or simply introduce yourself. If you can do this, then you will soon find that you can make the most out of the time you have. This will work wonders for your mental health too.
Declutter
Along with your clothes, you probably have a lot of other items that you just don’t need anymore. Getting rid of things like this can be a fantastic way for you to move forward. It can also be somewhat symbolic as well. Take a look through all of the rooms in your home for anything that you may have bought this year and also make sure that you do what you can to get rid of things that you don’t need. If you have seasonal items then remember to put them into storage so you can pull them out whenever you need them. Getting rid of items that you don’t use very much will help you to make room for other things, that may bring you more joy. This is especially useful if you intend on looking at new homes, or somewhere else to live to help you with your fresh start.
Clean out Your Closet
Consumers purchase, on average, 68 new garments every year. That is quite a lot, especially if you haven’t cleaned out your closet in quite some time. If you can clean out your closet space, then you may find that you can have way more room and you can also buy yourself some new clothes. This is sometimes exactly what you need if you want to make a fresh start, so keep that in mind if you can.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
The Beauty Benefits of Cocoa Powder
When picking some up at your local store, make sure you don’t buy one containing sugar or artificial flavor. Here are a few ways cocoa powder benefits your skin and hair.
Darkens hair naturally
Hydrates the skin
Reduces redness and inflammation caused by acne
Removes dead skin cells
Makes complexion brighter and clearer
Fight off free radicals
Prevents sun damage
Firms and rejuvenates skin
Keeps hair shiny and soft
Fights premature wrinkles
How you Can Improve Your Wellbeing This Winter
Many people can fall into a slump during the colder winter months when there is less sunlight and motivation is low, but there are some easy ways to lift your spirits.
A good way to raise yourself from a slump is to create a vision board. A vision board is a collection of images and keywords that you design and assemble on a large piece of paper, for example, which visualizes your hopes and dreams for the future. Vision boards are motivational, particularly when you lose sight of what you are working for. They are equally beneficial for when life becomes a little monotonous.
Some ideas to include in a vision board are career aspirations, travel plans, and personal growth targets.
Making a vision board can calm your mind, as it taps into your creativity and helps you focus on your current action. Plus, seeing your finished work day after day is sure to encourage inspiration.
It’s important to reach out to friends, relatives, or companions when you are feeling low. Even if you are feeling cheerful, getting in contact with someone you have not spoken to in a while might raise their spirits without you even realizing it.
As we get older, we tend to get stuck in our daily routines and forget that life is about connections and relationships. Older adults can especially yearn for a chat, or for a helping hand, which is why Seniors Helping Seniors is an invaluable service.
‘Going for a run’ is easier said than done for a lot of us. Especially in the cold, wet weather, running can be a real drag. However, there are plenty of alternative sports and fitness activities that will make you forget you’re even exercising – you’ll be having that much fun.
For one, dancing is a great way to release energy and work up a sweat with a smile on your face. You don’t need a studio to let your hair down, dancing in your room is encouraged. Whack on your favorite tunes and spend 20 minutes to an hour moving about to the music.
If mobility is an issue for you, swimming is an excellent way to stay fit and prevent any muscle or joint discomfort.
Walking and power-walking is also another way to get your daily exercise without it seeming too strenuous. For those busy days, this activity can tie in with work or socializing, as you could schedule a walking meeting or catch-up. Or, if you need a break from everything, going for a solo walk is a sure way to clear your head. You could even find a scenic route and make a trip out of it, rather than just walking around the block.
A simple way to distract yourself from the winter blues is to have a giggle. So, get comfy and pick a comedy film or stand-up show you know you will like, and even if you can’t muster a belly laugh, just feeling yourself smile can brighten your mood.
There are also plenty of apps and old-school games that will have you rolling on the floor laughing with friends or family. For smartphone users, try Heads Up!, it’s like a digital version of charades that can be played anywhere. Or if you’re at home, a card game like Snap or Uno is sure to cheer you up.
Going to bed early is never more important than in the winter. Our wellbeing depends on us getting a decent amount of sleep. For some people that means 8 hours of shuteye, for others, it’s more.
Find out what works for you, and go to bed at a time that allows for a full 8+ hours sleep until daybreak, so the sunrise works as a natural alarm clock. Seeing a full days-worth of sunlight can improve your mood dramatically. This is because catching the sun’s rays each day is associated with an increased level of serotonin in the body, a hormone that stabilizes our feelings of wellbeing.
If you have considerable worries, or stress is getting on top of you. It’s a good idea to let out your thoughts and emotions either via pen or verbally with a counselor or therapist. Writing or talking about it can help you release negative feelings and therefore improve your wellbeing.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
Helping Those Closest To You Deal With Stress
You might have noticed something different about someone close to you recently. Perhaps they seem a little more closed off than usual, or maybe you’re just noticing that things they used to enjoy, don’t seem to do it anymore. It could be any number of things, but if you know that life is getting them super stressed lately, this is probably the answer. In this article, we’re going to be looking at some of the things that you can do to help someone close to you deal with stress.
The first thing that we think you should do is offer to listen. Sometimes, people who are suffering from stress just need to talk about what they are feeling. Often, coming up with a solution to help someone who is stressed out won’t be possible, especially seeing as a lot of the causes are things that they don’t always have the power to change. Of course, if they can change them, then you should absolutely suggest that they do. However, it is far more important that you listen to what they have to say and make them feel heard, rather than offering advice. You will often find that they know what they should do, but they still need to speak to someone about the way they are feeling. Be that person for them. Offer them your shoulder.
While it may not always be possible to get rid of the thing that is stressing them out, you can still help them by finding the things that help them cope with stress better. For example, you could get them into the sport of some kind and do it together. Or, you could look into some herbal remedies that may help reduce the stress and purchase some weed pipes to make the experience a bit better. It really depends on what the person close to you finds relaxing. You’ve just got to remember that not everything is going to work, so don’t get too frustrated when you’re going through the trial and error phase.
Finally, you should never make fun of the problems that somebody is experiencing. This is harsh, and it will make them go into a shell and never want to speak to anyone about their issues again. Don’t try to make light of the situation. Don’t tell them that they are overreacting. Don’t compare their life to yours and tell them why they shouldn’t be stressed. None of this is going to be helpful. Just be supportive, that is what they need the most.
Hopefully, now you understand some of the things that you can do to help those close to you deal with stress. It’s a hard thing to cope with at the best of times, and if it’s getting too much for them, you need to support them as much as you can. It’s going to be difficult for them to admit, so be patient, and above all, be kind.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
Is Working From Home Causing You Anxiety?
Work situations are difficult to navigate sometimes. Anxiety sets in and you may feel as if you are sinking. Thankfully there are ways to ease your stress. From breathing techniques to yoga, and more, there are ways to help reduce your stress. You may have already looked at CBD and other types of cannabis and in this case, you may want to look at Budder Bongs, but you should always be responsible.
Sometimes the problems with work are borne out of social activities in the workplace. In order to be comfortable with your co-workers, try to expand your comfort zone. Consciously try to create small talk with people you meet throughout the day: at lunch, in the elevator, or in the coffee corner. Try to initiate short conversations or flatter when the place is in place. Such behavior will teach others that you are an accessible person and can be talked to. Remember that it is not so important to say the right thing, it is more important to be present. People are usually more comfortable with who they know.
Conversation with authority figures
Those who suffer from social anxiety may have difficulty talking to their supervisor. Any communication with your manager may be difficult for you. You may have difficulty with the simplest questions, it is common for people with social anxiety to try to get away with asking and finding out with the manager the information they need. Unfortunately, avoiding a conversation with the manager can impair your functioning and the manner in which the task is fulfilled: you will find yourself working long hours in a way that will ultimately not be to the satisfaction of your superiors.
Meetings and work meetings
If you feel uncomfortable in meetings – try to get to the meeting a quarter of an hour earlier so you can meet others when they arrive. Most people who suffer from social anxiety and shyness come to meetings late so that they do not have to socialize with others. But this behavior only makes you feel more isolated and stressed. During meetings, try to remember that others must also feel uncomfortable and have difficulty speaking. Quite a lot of people actually have difficulty expressing their opinions. If you take the initiative and speak first, it will reassure the rest and they will appreciate and respect you for it. Try to replace the negative thought with a more accurate, or more helpful thought: “I’m usually good enough in meetings.” Even if this mental exercise feels strange and strange to you, over time it will reduce your insecurity in work meetings. You will soon start to make a shift and feel more confident.
Social events
Workplaces usually hold social events that you are expected to attend. Company trips, zoom parties, joint video photography, farewell party, conferences. The human resources department works hard to connect the employees and for most of them, a fun day is really fun. For people with social anxiety these events can be particularly difficult – they expose their social shame – their difficulty in feeling comfortable.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
lookingforthelight.blog 