Notes To My Younger Self

In 59 years I’ve learned so much about life and myself. I continue to believe there’s much more to come. Here are some things I would say to my younger self. Keep in mind I came from a trauma-filled childhood which includes, emotional and physical abuse, sexual abuse, domestic violence, divorce, and alcoholism. I believe that is the reason for my drug and alcohol abuse.

Learn to have more fun.

Work harder on friendships.

Don’t take advantage of people.

Stand up for what is right, no matter the consensus.

Focus on learning who you are before you get into a serious relationship.

Don’t be afraid to be wrong, own it.

Hug my grandparents more often.

If a person disrespects you once they are liable to do it again. 

Don’t focus on finding forever man, let it happen.

If a relationship is confrontational, you don’t need it. 

Have more long-term goals.

If a boy/man hits you, run in the other direction and never let it happen again.

Be more open-minded.

Seek therapy sooner for childhood trauma.

If you commit, you need to come thru or have a solid reason why you can’t deliver. Take all responsibility seriously.

Don’t gossip and don’t assume you know someone. We all have a past.

Spend more time on school work.

What you dislike in someone else may be the same thing you do. Look inside first.

Learn more from my grandparents about their lives. 

There is a reason for everything, you may not understand it at the time, you may find out later or you may never understand why but there is a reason. Growth.

Don’t drive while drinking or doing drugs.

Look at the reason you drink so much. Was it because I was trying to cope with trauma.

Don’t let infatuation or lust make you think it’s love.

Don’t try to be like someone else, figure out who you are.

Money is not the road to happiness, it’s great but being rich doesn’t mean you’re happy. 

Have more aspirations. as a teen.

Save, Save, Save more money, there’s always something popping up, and be prepared. 

Don’t hold a grudge or hang onto the bad situations in life.

Accept that there are “no should’s” in life. 

Noone but your family owes you anything, and even that has a limit.

Don’t Lie, unless it will crush the person.

Seek out a mentor during high school.

What would you say to your younger self?

Melinda